90. Nonentity

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that there can be people of ‘no significance’ or ‘value’ whenever they do not present an ‘identifiable character’-  without realizing that it is in significance itself that disparity and inequality is created-  this means, when giving meaning/worth/ value to something and someone in separation of ourselves based on what I have believed and perceived is ‘more valuable’ or ‘less valuable’ -  which indicates that I am the only one existing as a character that has a value system in separation of self as one and equal.

 

When and as I see myself perceiving and believing that there exist people of ‘no value/meaning’ I stop and I breathe, I realize that this is stemming from my own value-system wherein I have placed people as less than and more than in separation of self as one and equal.

 

I realize that the nonentity word itself is pointing out how we have neglected ourselves, separated ourselves based on a value system wherein we have decided that according to ‘who we are as characters,’ we are worth more or less than others, which is absolute separation.

 

The only value of life is life and as such, there can be no more or less in here but in our own minds only.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that someone that is ‘lacking character’ as in presenting no-visible experience that I can use to ‘assess who the being is’ is a nonentity, as in someone that is worthless/ unimportant – without realizing that in this I am giving value/worth and further meaning to someone that does present a ‘visible’ self-experience that is able to be spotted through how the being presents themselves, talks, interacts, which is how we have become so used to treating each other according to the character we see and are able to ‘spot’ in another.

 

I realize I am within this reducing an entire being to only existing as an idea in my mind that I am able to ‘quickly assess’ based on how they look, how they walk, talk to others, portray and carry themselves which in this very assessment I am already caging another into being nothing else but a character in my mind that would then approach as a character myself.

 

When and as I see myself placing more value onto someone that portrays a ‘defined character’ as in presenting a visible self-experience through physical language, words, interaction with others – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to speak to all being within the consideration of who we are as physical beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach/ interact with/initiate a point of communication with another based on how their ‘character’ is revealing them ‘to be’ without realizing that in this, I am approaching another from the starting point of me as a character wanting to establish a relationship with another character through communication, ending up validating and excusing my ‘choice’ based on me being a character with a preference to interact only with the characters I ‘resonate with,’ which is an indication that I have always only interacted based on my own limitation as a character – and that this stems from the point of not even having walked my own character to begin with, to remove and stop all self-definitions and as such, be able to communicate with any other being without a point of preference as interference to it.

 

When and as I see myself ‘choosing’ with whom I can communicate ‘better’ and with whom I perceive ‘I can’t’ – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself as words here relating to the physical moment of interaction without any thoughts in the background, only here as breath.

 

“I commit myself to show – how, our ‘decisions’ of whether we like/dislike or prefer/don’t prefer or love/hate; is/always have been determined by/through already-existent characters/personalities we’ve come to accept/beLIEve to be ‘who we are’ as the primary-definitions of ourselves we come to physically-embody/live-out in our Mind-Physical relationship/existence. Where, this ‘assessment’ of our relationship to other human-beings is/always has been determined by/through characters from memories we’ve constructed/manifested into and as the foundation/manifestation of ‘who/how we are’; where from such accumulative memories that’s come to layer in our Mind-Physical relationship and aligned/interconnected into and as the definition of our ‘who we are’: we within MEMORIES assess/determine/analyse ‘who/how we are’ in relation to other human beings based on a SELECT FEW ‘tells’ / ‘signals’ we assess/analyse within the MEMORY, and according to a select few ‘tells/signals’ of the human beings’ behaviour/presentation within the memory and how that ‘resonate’ with our embodied character/personality: will within the MEMORY determine/decide who/how we will be in relationship to the other human-being in our experience of like/dislike or prefer/don’t prefer or love/hate.” – Sunette Spies +

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt what I learned from my parents as in judging someone that would be only ‘breathing’ and not showing/ projecting any emotion and/ or feeling as self-experience that would indicate they are ‘open’ or ‘friendly’ or talkative’ as these are values and judgments that I have considered as positive in another wherein I then became used to judging quiet, still and silence people as ‘nonentities’ because of them not being communicating, interacting and a such, being like a wall that I cannot possibly get through.

 

 

When and as I see myself judging a being that I perceive as being a ‘wall’ as in not talking and not communicating – I stop and I breathe – I realize that if I have to communicate with another being it is not based on ‘how I see them’ and how I am assessing them in my mind – but instead simply physically direct myself to open up a point of interaction and a such be here in the moment with another sharing myself, instead of expecting them to do or don’t do something based on the image I had created of them in my mind.

 

I realize that the moment I stop projecting onto others the personality I see of them as a ‘quick assessment’ of who the being is, I am in fact getting past the characters that limit ourselves and talking to the being for who they are as one and equal as myself.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately/ automatically judge in my mind a being that is not ‘interacting’ and presenting themselves with a definitive character as ‘less than’ based on memories of how I was educated to always be presenting myself as a certain character that would be ‘open’ and ‘friendly’ and ‘smiley’ as an indication that I was then a ‘living being’ because of the association between this experience of ‘livelihood’ to something positive to present myself as – and within this, reducing my entire life to create an inner battle with believing I have to ‘present myself as someone positive’ toward another in means of establishing a ‘proper communication,’ without realizing that this is yet another character that I have presented myself as in order to be liked/accepted by others with ease.

 

When and as I see myself judging another in comparison to myself to ‘who I believe I am’  and must be according to establishing a point of communication upon how I present/express myself, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am communicating myself here in the moment and that I do not require to cage another in a character and cage myself in another character to communicate here in the physical as equals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever struggle with the idea of having to present myself in a particular way wherein I then judge people to be expecting me to act/ be/ do/ behave as something in particular that they remember me by and that, complying to portraying myself ‘as something’ in specific in order to interact with others, without realizing that who I am here is constant and consistent as breath and that I do not require to get in a particular mood in order to interact with others.

 

When and as I see myself thinking, believing and perceiving that I have to ‘be’ a particular character to be able to interact with others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am perfectly capable of establishing communication in the moment without resorting to present myself as a ‘sociable character’ that others can ‘resonate with’ as well, as that would be caging ourselves as characters interacting with characters instead of learning how to interact here, unconditionally as self.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever limit my communication toward others based on how I perceive they are experiencing themselves with, wherein if I would see the person is just standing still with no facial gestures, not speaking and being basically only breathing, I would interpret that they are ‘mad’ or ‘angry’ or just ‘not sociable enough’ which I would then discard the option of interacting with them, without realizing that I was in fact denying myself the ability to communicate with another based on this quick assessment based on memories of how I created the idea that someone that is not being ‘visibly talkative’ or ‘visibly sociable’ is most likely ‘not worthy’ to talk to, not worthy to interact with – wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give more value/ worth to people that were clearly presenting themselves as talkative and sociable/ outgoing in comparison to those that would stand still, quiet and apparently non-sociable whom I would judge as ‘less than’ because within my mind I knew that interacting with someone that is not presenting a visible character that would resonate with the character I believed I had to portray within myself, I would not get my ‘necessary fix’ as in getting equal-amount of attention as energy from another that would comply/ respond to my ‘sociable input’ – which is then how I would form the idea of liking/ disliking based on the staring point of who I believe I have to be when interacting with another.

 

When and as I see myself interacting with another based on the assessment of how much of my character I will ‘build up’ with such communication – I stop and I breathe – I realize that one cannot get anything ‘more’ or ‘less’ within communication as any perception of adding or subtracting value to myself based on how others see me/ perceive me in relation to ‘whom’ I am communicating with is only me standing as a character that assesses communication as inversion and not self expression.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually create an unnecessary point of conflict within me because of not being able to ‘pull out’ the sociable character at all times and within this, believing that there was something ‘wrong’ with me because I was not ‘in the mood’ of presenting myself with smiles and positive attitudes, which is how I would compare myself with my sisters and anyone else around me that would be more ‘enthusiastic’ than myself – within this giving a positive value to being ‘sociable and enthusiastic’ and seeing myself as less than when I would remain quiet and silent with no definitive ‘enthusiasm’ and judging it as negative, as if something was ‘wrong’ within me, because of not complying to what I believed I had to be/ become in that moment of ‘social interaction’ with others.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I must present myself in a particular mood in order to be liked or seem like ‘open’ to others within interactions and social communication, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am perfectly able to communicate in the moment without having to present myself as an ‘available’ or ‘inviting’ person to communication, but instead simply remain constant and consistent within breathing and within that, being open to any point of interaction and communication, which doesn’t mean I ‘must present myself as sociable,’ as that is only a character seeking to be accepted and liked by default through presenting a positive attitude that expects to get/ receive a ‘positive attitude’ in return – which is in no way being here as the physical, unconditionally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there can be something or someone as ‘non existent’ without realizing that if the being is here they are equally existing as myself – hence the nonexistent is only a concept that revolves around the value/ worth we have given to invisible aspects that can only be formulated in the mind – thus within me sticking to physical reality, there is no possibility to see something ‘non existent’ as that is irrelevant by default in itself to be considered as ‘entity’ as a ‘concept.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek validation of my own character when communicating with a similar character so that we could both feed each other’s characters and as such, remain only as characters toward each other, never really even realizing that it was not actual communication as the character was not seen for what it is, but instead giving further value/ worth within ourselves as characters – trusting the mind instead of the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to initiate then communication only based on the assessment I had made as to ‘how much value/ worth’ there is in communicating with this or that other being, which implies that no communication had stood as the principle of life in equality, because all my ‘movement’ to interact with another had a specific point of self-interest behind, which is related to me initiating communication from the starting point of ego/ character and not life here as physical interaction that is unconditional toward myself and any other living being.

 

Thus I realize that the way to live this nonentity is within stopping giving all positive attributes to ‘a character’ – whether positive or negative – and in that realizing that not playing a character does not mean being ‘lifeless’ or ‘less than’ or ‘non existent,’ but is in fact the way that we can exist as equals as and within the physical consideration of that which is real/ reality as the flesh that we breathe in and walk accordingly in our world.

 

When and as I see myself thinking of ‘how to approach a being’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that in such moment I am standing as a character wanting to approach another as another character and within that only ‘thinking’ ourselves instead of actually being able to express ourselves as equals at all moments, in the moment, in the physical. No preparedness allowed.

 
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into thinking and believing that I can’t stop my thoughts – instead of just standing up and state STOP. Within this I see and realize that I have separated myself from the mind within thinking and believing that I do not/cannot control/direct the mind – instead of seeing and realizing that I am one and equal to my mind so thus I can stop in one breath.” – Malin Gunilla *
 
Giving up is of the mind 08
 
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About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world. View all posts by Marlen

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