264. All I Want to do is Feel Good

 

It’s quite easy to justify our desire to feel good, to escape, to say it is our free will and free choice to live our lives to ‘the fullest’ and call that a ‘living right to live life the way we want to’ and one should respect that, because we are not harming anyone doing so.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

I used to live by these words ‘Live your life and leave me alone with mine’ and I must say it is like having to get down from a ride you are apparently really enjoying, just as we enjoy feeding our feel good experiences at all times in the mind – and within this, it is not that enjoyment is wrong or bad or we should not have a moment of fun, it is what we end up  Only focusing on when having our lives only being ridden through a desire to Just feel good all the time, to have a good time, to have fun, to entertain ourselves, to seek for new and exciting experiences. As anything, excesses or an entire life lifetime only focused on a hedonist lifestyle will certainly lead us to a certain place: death – one could say we will all ‘get there’ but the point is how we are willing to be aware and deliberate of our ‘choices in life’ to live as an hedonist being and decide to ignore reality and our ability to actually do something about it.  

The people that have crossed over can share nothing else but sheer regret for having lived lives hooked up in mind-desires and problems and ‘seekings’ that lead nowhere other than being caught up in the chasing after chasing energetic experiences of ‘fulfillment,’ but never really living.

The desire to feel good/ feel fine and the use of drugs is a common pair that can be justified in various ways, making an ‘honor’ to people in this world that recognize themselves as ‘villains’ and never ever having wanted to be the ‘good guys,’ not realizing either that this physical world and reality is not about taking a ‘side’ and painting oneself either black or white,  is not about being good or bad and feeding each other’s poles of antagonism/ protagonist we have divided our lives in, with obsolete morals that only fuel the separation as the believed sense of freedom derived from ‘doing what one likes/pleases to do,’ wherein there is no actual  inherent desire to  stand as an example of what a living-breathing human being can be, or make things better for oneself and everyone else, but simply deciding Not to live in order to create any form of change in this world – however, what I have found is that people that get to think this way are a consequence of not having been supported unconditionally to prevent them/ourselves from becoming a spitefulness act upon the Earth, and this does not necessarily harming others, but definitely being aware of neglecting reality by one’s will and fulfillment of a sense of contempt toward a world that ‘has never given a damn about you.’

 

Even if people can claim this is not the starting point for seeking such feel good experience, it is well known at Desteni how all positive experiences have a negative starting point: a constant ‘feel good’ experience actually stems from the constant self experience of living in fear, petrification, anxiety, remorse, guilt, mind trips and everything else we have defined as ‘bad/negative,’ leading ourselves to go into a quest to become the exact opposite, never quite understanding how we have lead ourselves to such a point of ‘carelessness’ and whose life we are really disregarding this way.


This is about understanding what one can also justify at all times with various excuses like deciding to simply live a life of enjoyment, having fun, having a good time, getting in touch with one’s most beloved habits, there is no ‘pursuing’ other than the energetic experience and visualization of one’s mind as something ‘better’ than reality, and then we dare to defend that as a living right, yes, a right to abuse ourselves even if the abuse is not seen at first sight: this is the real ignorance, what goes on beyond what our eyes can see is the reality that we have never ever been aware of, a reality we are trying to evade but also use as an excuse to defend ‘our right to abuse’

“Respect my Culture.
Respect my
Choices.
Respect my Faith.
Respect my Rights as a Parent.
Respect my Opinion.
Respect my Diversity.
Respect my Right of
Free Choice.
Respect my
Sexual Orientation.
All these Forms of Respect would Immediately be Gone once the Person Understand, in Detail, HOW they Create this through the Mechanics of the Mind and
See that All of these Forms of Respect are In Fact Illusions.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

Ask yourself: is this ALL that I want for myself? Have I really made the choice to only live this way? I am pretty sure that anyone defending their point will say ‘yes,’ however as one can realize, all our decisions are influenced by our ‘role in the game’ that we have called life, and I am pretty sure that at this stage from the poorest person to the richest one seeks a form to escape and evade reality in one way or another, and this is why we go back to the main point as always: we seek to evade ourselves, our mind, our past, our entire set of rotten corpses that we have believed we can only hide and run away from through using/ consuming/ buying/ chasing/ experiencing ‘something’ that can give us a different sensation in life – a sensation= a mind experience, and to understand all the choices we’re making in the name of ‘sensation’ is to understand all the motives and reasons we used to justify having lived our lives subsumed in self interest, seeking always/ all the time for the most benefit, the most enjoyment, never a dull moment when living in this constant tripping-mode as a regular drug user does.

I got to see this aspect of ourselves as human beings again, a forgotten one since it is not that easy to find people that are living relatively well, socializing, being overtly expressive yet openly willing to take drugs in order to get these experiences that become a life-style, a seeking for a ‘something,’ or at least I had forgotten what it was to be in that positive-light of mentality and optimism that would cover up quite a great despair that I could only open up after one stops draining one’s experience with any form of mind-drug, habit, addiction or definitive self-talk to believe that ‘there is nothing to worry about, everything is just fine’ and yes, that Bob Marley song comes to mind as it got stuck on sixth grade when I had to learn the lyrics to ‘three little birds’ and I felt quite dumb having to sing along to ‘Singin': “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!” – then got to know Marley as this music god for all weed users and developed a hatred to be honest, due to all the ‘relax and just chill’ type of mentality, it pissed me off, because I actually wanted to live that life, live in a little place outside the city, being happy painting and forgetting about the troubles and being careless about reality, how wonderful! I got a taste of that for a while, it didn’t ease the distress, it only aggravated it- why? Because drugs and anything else we induce ourselves in in order to ‘forget all our troubles and cares’ becomes a suppression, a point that we then have to face no matter what since it means we have decided to deliberately ignore such ‘bad experience’ as our own creation.

So , what I have found is that even if ‘enjoying the ride of life’ becomes an enticing point, I have just proven to myself it is Impossible I could turn my back on life and go back to my ‘old ways,’ fracking hell no. I realized that the commitment we have to live is an ‘abnormal one’ in a society wherein we are all patting our backs for being the greatest cheaters, liars, addicts and careless pieces of mind that can exist. I decided to not be that, even if I could have had all of the opportunities to do so, to become quite a great player in the realms of the ‘intangible’ and be ‘successful’ within such mind-frame, but the lie eventually gets to be too extensive to handle, the lie catches you on fire and  you either burn to ashes to reborn or allow yourself to keep fueling the fire with more airy-fairy ideas that lead you to believe that ‘feeling good’ is all that life is about – limited, very limited, but ostensibly attractive.

Is it too extreme to vow oneself to life the way that we have committed ourselves to as Destonians? No, it is really only having to live in a world of temptation and tame the forces that we have allowed ourselves to be driven by throughout our ‘lives lived’ through the mind. It is to swim against the tide – without opposing/ neglecting or antagonizing – of everything and everyone that points us out to one single thing: just relax, sit back and just chill, do not care about the ‘bad stuff’ and misery, give some charity here and there, try and make poor people’s lives a bit happy for a while, share some of your time with the unfortunate ones and the rest of the time, just ‘enjoy.’


Enjoyment cannot exist as a continues consumption of either drugs or food or sex or any other part of ourselves in our reality that we turn into ‘our new toy’  that we have linked to a ‘max’ experience within ourselves, it is unsustainable. We can only look at our ‘entertainment industries’ to understand what we are deciding to be and become: chill pill consumers in order to just ‘live our lives and never mind the rest.’ Yes, in a tunnel vision reality that makes sense, but soon reality will ‘catch up with us’ and we will most likely have to step down from the fairy-tale mountain with some rough awakenings – is this necessary? We could prevent it, but at this stage the question remains:

“What will it Take to Wake Up People from their Obsession with Respect that Do Not Place Life in Every Way, for Everyone, Always, First?” – Bernard Poolman

 

The problem is how we have definitely blinded ourselves to make it all fine in our minds – money is the primary security that enables us to have fun, to have all we want as an ‘extra’ point of enjoyment and as such, justify such ‘lifestyle’ with working, with retribution somehow to society, not realizing or fully comprehending why it is that every single act and life that is existing here is our equal and one responsibility, because all patterns that lead to the acceptance and allowance of disparity have been blindly accepted from generation to generation. It’s about time we give to each other what we have always wanted to live by, but never thought we could.

 

As for drugs, how can any mind-induced experience become the ‘savior’ to our experiences if it is the very physical body that is being consumed everything we ‘think’ we are ‘making it.’

 

This is about time to be willing to see how unsustainable it is to chase after our implanted dreams or actually be and become the living-dedication of ourselves to LIVE a life of actual enjoyment, which I have defined as a breathing-physically here point of awareness with regards to comfort-ability, and knowing that any justification for ‘how things are’ and believe there was something about us that was unable to be changed – well, it’s time to drive ourselves as consciousness down the road of self-introspection, self investigation leading toward self forgiveness, writing, developing self honesty and common sense to have a perspective of what is real and sound in our reality and who is not.

 

This will continue

For Further Support:

Desteni

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Equal Money System

 

Vlog:

2013 Changing Consciousness toward a New World

 

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© 2013

About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world. View all posts by Marlen

7 responses to “264. All I Want to do is Feel Good

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