Author Archives: Marlen

About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world.

411. Do Good and Evil Really Exist?

We tend to want to hold on to the idea of ourselves being ‘good people’ or there being really ‘good people’ out there without questioning what the origin or starting point of such goodness exists.  With this it’s not to imply that there’s no ‘good’ at all but certainly it is a cool point to investigate all the aspects that one has defined as ‘good’ within oneself and simply check the starting point for it: am I genuinely being assistive and supportive toward others because I see that it makes sense to support and assist others the way I would want to be assisted by other individuals as well and so make it the principles by which we all coexist in  – OR am I doing it for the sake of how others will see me, how I believe I can be rewarded for ‘being good’ or ‘doing good’ and using it as a form of ‘good credit’ for oneself in relation to others.

First point to realize here is that we can all change the starting point of what we have defined as ‘good’ based on that which is beneficial and supportive to ourselves and one another. Maybe we just haven’t yet considered how certain acts of kindness, generosity or wanting to be a good person/ ‘being a good person’ can in fact be a counter act/ a clean-up/contrition act from past experiences that could have been the exact opposite to everything perceived as good or benevolent, such as having been very selfish, authoritarian, careless toward others and so one then feels like ‘we have to make up for it all’ through becoming the opposite polarity as a ‘good person.’ In this we have the absolute ability to decide we want to change this because we see that doing ‘bad’/harmful and abusive things to oneself and others is not the way to go, and so one makes the decision to change and commits oneself to practically live it – but! If after realizing one is actually using the ‘bad/evil’ as a memory or starting point to ‘do good’ and we only go to the opposite polarity as in now wanting to do good and be good and almost push it so much in an expectation to gain ‘the grace of god’ so to speak as in seeking to feel good/positively within oneself for ‘cleaning one’s acts’ with ‘good/positive deeds’ or for example to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by others/ get the approval from others or be recognized as a form of good-doer or any other ‘high moral standard’ we may have within ourselves – such as the driving force behind altruism and charitable acts – then the starting point is rather misaligned and further destructive than constructive.

 

Why? Because doing ‘good’ based on the cleaning-up act for the ‘evil/bad’ past is merely believing that the answer is doing the opposite. What I’ve realized in this process is that merely opting for ‘the opposite’ is not a suggested way to go because in this we recreate the pattern of the ‘good’ vs. the ‘bad’ or evil – which is a definition, a charged experience toward something that could be simply supportive/non supportive. What usually happens is that one creates one’s own trap within the good vs. bad morality polarity enslavement which is the foundation of, for example, the church/religious systems that play on in this good vs. evil principle to manipulate people to ‘do good’ based on fearing being punished for ‘all the bad.’  The same is ingrained in a secular person that perceives the law/government as the authority in a society and so, that person will still ‘do good’ based on fearing to be punished/standing in bad credit against law/government/financial systems or any other authority as well as peers in society as well. So here we become subject to our own constructs, to our own punishment-reward mentality to which we give a negative and positive value respectively where we then either feel good or bad about something, instead of rather asking oneself: well, am I being supportive to myself and others? am I considering living principles in my thoughts, words and deeds as a principle of who I decide to be?  OR am I only acting in either a ‘good’ manner to get an energy fix from it, to get acceptance, validation, recognition and better living positions in many occasions where ‘doing good’ is linked to being rewarded for it in an economic manner as well? One can then ponder: is there any genuine ‘good’ then or are we only acting out on either looking for a ‘good feeling’/positive experience within ourselves or escaping from/making up for past ‘bad’/evil deeds that one felt ‘bad’ about and wanting to ‘do good’ now to not FEEL or hide within self all the perceived evil/bad without first understanding it?

Here the first point I suggest considering is that a process of self change involves realizing and understanding that one will not ‘feel good’ as in having to create a positive experience every time you simply decide to correct/align yourself to the best possible supportive and sustainable outcome.  It is to realize that deciding to change oneself, to be self-supportive toward oneself and others is not in itself a ‘good’ deed that stands in contrast to doing ‘bad’ because in that, even by considering the solution to be ‘positive’ we re-create and trap ourselves again in the good vs. bad mentality/mind construct which is how we then believe that if we do ‘good’ = we can FEEL great/good/superior/better etc. and feel like being at the top of the world with all this glory – which is an energetic experience. Here we can consider some physical laws: what goes up must go down and so we perceive that the ‘down’ experience is negative, while it is only getting down from the ride way up high.

To prevent this up and ride experience between the ‘good vs. bad/evil’ and the experiences one gets through them is to then focus on realizing that doing what is best for all is not something that one should create a ‘good experience’ about, or that it should be rewarded, receive recognition or get some sense of validation for now being a ‘good person’ and doing ‘good deeds’ – nope. It is to realize that what one is doing in this decision to change one’s destructive/harmful/abusive acts is simply directing oneself to live in an alignment with how things/life/our minds should have always work: considering what is best for all, assessing one’s participation in thought word and deed in every moment within oneself and toward others/the environment so that we ensure that every single moment we are aligning to these principles and within doing so, we integrate this reference as the new human nature we want to become and see in this world – it implies simply aligning ourselves to how things should have always been which is not less or more than what currently exists, we don’t have coin sluts to gain value for doing good or get some kind of physical body or substance extraction for doing ‘bad’ things either…

Within this then one removes the ‘charges’ to any positive or negative value to the perceived ‘good’ and the perceived ‘bad’ and so be able to understand bad/evil as the reverse of life, as a mistaken road one took that requires to be corrected/realigned so that it can be functional/supportive with what is best for all by walking a process of self-directive correction. This then prevents the whole ‘fallen’ experience, the guilt trip-traps and the whole mentality that one is ‘done’ or ‘never will get it right’ as we all tend to give up so easily in our minds when believing that we are just evil and have no remedy – which is also another self-victimization pattern to not actually take the time, effort and dedication that it takes to change oneself, which is mostly a decision to let go of the energy high linked to doing good and the guilt/bad experience when doing all the perceived ‘bad.’

With this also comes the necessary realization that: we’ve never dedicated our lives to direct this realignment to how we should have always ‘functioned’ in our minds and in our world – if things were just ‘fine’ in this world and anything had really been genuinely ‘good’ or ‘supportive’ we would not be seeking to change ourselves and this world all over, as we would be living such change as a new living principle for ourselves as humanity = this hasn’t happened and that’s why we have to realize that it is a process, it takes active participation and self-awareness in every moment we are alive to be continually living/applying this re-direction within oneself to in every moment assess one’s words, thoughts deeds to create/contribute to the change we see is beneficial for oneself and all parts in an equally supportive manner – that can also be understood as no harm, no abuse toward oneself and others – and instead doing what is constructive, supportive for oneself and others who are also ‘ourselves’ in fact.

Therefore one can also be more aware next time when we perceive that one wants to hold onto this ‘goodness’ within self or the perceived ‘goodness’ in others and Really investigate what such ‘good’ consists of, why we perceive it as ‘good’, what is the starting point of such thing we perceive as good and so consider the following: because our minds and this entire world system was built within the foundation of a non-supportive/abusive and non-equal basis, we cannot genuinely expect a supportive principle to exist as a general ‘trait’ or inherent property/inherent nature of human beings, of who we are as the mind – including the way that we have built this world system based on our own mind-constructs where it is evident it is not benefiting everyone the way it should –which is why I suggest to re-evaluate whenever one perceives someone to be ‘naturally good’ and get to know how such person ‘became’ a good person and what their story is. From that we can also learn why we tend to hold on to ‘the good’ so much and fear the evil/bad.

Having said this, it is more to realize that the construct of morality as the polarity of ‘good vs. evil’ is a definition, a construction we create in order to trap ourselves in the problem without focusing on the practical solutions required to align our thoughts, words and deeds to a supportive outcome. The potential to go ‘either way’ exists within each one of us in every moment that we are living here, which is why I see it as important to share some practical ways to rather use the morality construct as another tool of self-assessment to see ‘who am I’ toward the good vs. evil mentality.

 

One can then use the words ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in the following constructive manner:

-  If I perceive a ‘good’ aspect within me, something I’ve defined as ‘good’ within myself (or others) then I have to ask myself: what is motivating me to do/think this which I’ve defined as good? What is my starting point? Am I expecting something in return to this? Am I wanting to be seen as a good person by others? What experience as a feeling do I get when I believe myself to be good or am told by others that I am a ‘good person’? And so apply self-forgiveness for all the energy charges around these ‘good deeds/thoughts/experiences’ as all the positively-charged definitions so that what’s left is only the raw-living actions that are genuinely supportive, that are and can become part of one’s new natural/inherent expression of living by principles, by actions, by living words instead of being moved through/by energy all the time where we play the reward/punishment type of assessment or ‘equation’ in our minds based on energetic highs and lows, instead of just seeing the benefit for oneself and all if we think/say/act in a way that is best for all and vice versa if we don’t do/act/think based on what is best for all.

- If I observe some ‘bad’ aspect within me then I have to ask myself: why have I defined this as bad? Who, what and how am I affecting myself and others with these defined bad/evil thoughts, words and deeds? If I realize that I am genuinely harming or abusing myself and others then how can I correct/align this point that I’ve defined as bad? And so use this assessment to rather create a practical plan to correct and align in a directive manner this ‘bad/evil’ aspect within oneself to a supportive and constructive outcome. This is how then making mistakes or creating the perceived ‘fall’ is simply an opportunity to evaluate: ok where did I miss a point of direction, why we did that which we knew was not supportive or where did we miss a point of self-awareness where we acted upon past patterns, upon the ingrained non-supportive thoughts/deeds that lead us to a known path which is that of non-constructive/self-destructive choices and consequential outflows. We all then can constantly learn from our perceived ‘bad/evil’ mind construct while at the same time, applying self-forgiveness for acting out on such thoughts that are detrimental to oneself and others after which one can then make a firm assessment and decisive plan to support oneself to correct/align this point within oneself from here on as a Living Principle.

 

This is a way I can see one can go ‘shedding’ the moral construct of good vs. bad, to ensure there’s no positive or negative charge to either side but only assess the words said, the actions taken, the consequences that ensue and then see what is required to be changed to align it to living principles and what does one practically require to do to live this plan of corrective action. This is how the tools of writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application become our constant tools of self-investigation and our do-it-yourself evaluation foundation to get to know ourselves and for example investigate who am I within the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ construct, how does this exist within me and if such words still create an experience either positive or negative within myself.

 

There’s no point in wanting to hold on to something ‘good’ of which we don’t exactly yet know its origin and starting point of, and mostly I would actually suggest to practically doubt anything that’s apparently ‘good’ or ‘positive’ in nature as then we have to assess what motivates it, what ‘funds’ it ($), what are the interest behind it, is there any past ‘evil’ that’s being used as a starting point for oneself or others to do now ‘good’ as an energetic experience or ‘reward’ process in self-interest? And so we take off the mask of ourselves as our mind – which is in itself not at all ‘good’ or benevolent – and so rather learn how not to react to discovering self-honesty as in seeing what might be in fact a ‘real ugly truth’ of ourselves, which I could visualize like realizing one has a detuned guitar, or having a broken engine: we have to understand how we got them detuned/broken and so place our time, effort and knowledge in application to fix it = we do the same with ourselves and our minds/lives and so stop thinking within the ‘good vs. evil’ frame of mind and just consider practical reality.

 

For further reference:

Good vs Evil     Learn more about supporting yourself as your mind, how to deal with energy, one’s ego and how we can actively change ourselves here:


410. What we Miss in the Infowar Mentality

There are times wherein there is a perception of there being ‘a lot going on in the world’ based on the information/news that we get all around the world in our media outlets wherein there’s this massive created awareness of events/situations unfolding as ‘news’ which lately relate more and more about wars, attacks, political confrontations which keep us all ‘hooked’ on a particular mindset of fear, anger, nervousness related to the threat of wars or potential wars around the world.

 

What happens is that in this, we become subject to our own fears, our own assumptions, even our own attraction to morbidity at times when it comes to potential death and destruction events that may or may not be happening near to us, but still, it is as if our entire attention is then directed or ‘guided’ toward a conflict that is broadcasted and placed under the spotlight for the whole world to see as the most relevant news/point of the day.

 

Here there are some points we are missing out entirely such as how our attention is suddenly directed/guided to Only focus on the external conflicts between nations and potential wars, which eventually also creates a point of stress, fear, anxiety or even nervousness between the population due to the rehashing of past experiences as past wars/conflict situations in history where we become just subject to  what ‘those in power’ decide and so act out on one’s own fears based on the idea that this could potentially ‘hit us’ or be the death of ourselves, which I cannot deny in terms of the actual problems that are created.  It is so that many people die in these conflicts, many people are in fact on the ground facing such life-threatening and torturous conflicts – but what happens here is that suddenly we become enthralled by this information, we forget about ‘ourselves’ as our first point of responsibility and even more so, we forget to rather investigate and come to investigate and question why is it that these conflicts exist in the first place? Why have we never come to see a solution to this based on common sense where the people have a say into these ‘military moves’ that are mostly promoted and carried out by ‘people in power’ that we have separated ourselves from.

 

This renders us only as spectators of this media war, this virtual or informational war wherein what is expected of us is to simply be at the mercy of what a few decide to do and take a side on the conflict, which creates further conflict between each other as people of this world. Such is the example of how people get arrested in ‘peace demonstrations’ and/or create further riots against embassies of the countries considered to be ‘the problem’ and so through feeding the conflict at a thought or even physical actions such as protests for war, we collectively Feed the war by participating in the fears, the judgments toward either ‘party’/side of the conflict or identifying some as the culprits or wrong doers. I mean, I’ve seen myself doing that with the conflicts lately based on, once again, knowledge and information of who I perceive or understand to be the ‘real wrong doers’ and what happens in this position is that it is very easy to miss out the point of how any person, any faction, any country, any perceived ‘key player in the conflict’ in this world are nothing else but individuals like you and I that are acting out on their own roles we have all collectively accepted and allowed based on ideas of power, ambition, control, beliefs about the righteousness to attack or kill in the name of some other ‘greater picture’ or ‘big plan’ so to speak to continue benefitting a few elites… and in this we miss out the fact that it is ourselves waging war against ourselves no matter ‘where’ they are coming from, which country or society/group of people is plotting the war or have plotted it for a long time.

Therefore I suggest to always remember that creating contempt, anger, blame or a sense of injustice to fuel retaliation or vengeance toward one faction of human beings is and will only fuel the problem further and so to rather come to understand that what is recreated through participating in fear, contempt, blame is the actual verification of the war itself, accepting it, embracing it as our own and how we tend to ‘take a side’ based on what the media spurs

It is then to not forget about our potential to actually change ourselves so that one by one we can start first of all waking up to realizing that believing everything that the media says or all the excuses for wars is a massive point of mind control to debunk so that we can instead rather focus our attention and time to develop solutions, to educate ourselves and those around us to not fall ‘prey’ for whatever is spun on TV/media/internet. We can remain informed about ‘what’s going on in the world’ and even be a trigger to investigate further the causes, the reasons and justifications for it, how we have come to accept ‘war’ as a normal thing in our lives and as such ensure that one can be informed about ‘what’s being promoted’ without taking a part of it through emotionally reacting to it, as that is what the aim is mostly for here.

 

Let’s keep in mind that one of the best forms of mind control that we act out on ourselves and each other is fear. So through spreading fear and participating in it within ourselves, we become actual cogwheels in a greater machinery that feeds off such attention, such emotions that will then justify further wars and conflict on either side of the parties involved. I suggest we rather ask ourselves why isn’t starvation in our daily news? Why aren’t the absolute hideous thoughts that go on in our minds about one another part of our ‘daily war news’ for example and question that very ‘declaration of war’ within ourselves and toward each other? Why have we come to accept only a few mostly very well planned events to become our sole point of focus that we respond to based on the continuous impulsing of news in the media?

My perspective is that If we had the ability to actually produce our media on things that we can actually do and conduct in these cases, it would contain a much more practical and educational continuous reminder of the solutions that each one of us can take to learn how to conduct/direct our lives in the best possible manner, considering what is best for all, pushing the progressive acts for the betterment of our society to the headlines so that we can motivate each other to prevent further wars, to not fall a trap of our emotions and instead to emulate people that present examples of what it is to take self-responsibility in this world. It’s very easy to get emotionally drained if one consumes media-wars for far too long, I am an example of that and how in 2001 I fell right on as a prey for the whole terrorism agenda, which is part of the reasons why I later on sought to simply avoid being informed and focusing on ‘ways to get out’ of myself or the system, which is how we also then justify our own irresponsibility if we fall prey to the idea that ‘the world is so messed up, there’s no way out!’ which is  yet another trap that I suggest Not to fall on, as this is part of the mind-war scenario to continue being docile to be controlled by our mind, our own emotions.

The solution is then to be able to use these media wars to continually focus on placing into perspective the information we’re getting/being fed in our mobile updates, in your TV or internet media site and then check ourselves whether there is any fear/emotional experience coming through from the information being read. Next, seeing if I am already assessing who is the one to blame, as when one already creates this ‘stance’ toward the information provided, it is no different to choosing one brand over another based on How the product/brand is sold to us. Next point is seeing and assessing our participation in the solution for it: can I in fact create a solution for such conflict? And if not then ask why we are constantly fed about these events?

 

Here it is important to say that I don’t deny the fact that being informed about what goes on in the world is relevant, but there’s also a responsibility that comes with that to ensure we don’t drink/consume the words in the media to feel a part of the conflict without even understanding why the conflict was created in the first place, or without even investigating if these were in fact staged events/plans that have been scheduled for a long time just to ring the war bell and justify it with whatever ‘rings true’ to people as a ‘genuine reason to go to war’ – and that’s where we as public opinion have to always simply have NO reason at all to support any conflict, any war, any vendetta, any historical excuse to events that lead to any form of harm or abuse toward life. That is a very principled living and common sensical consideration wherein no matter what we are told in and through the media, we remain clear that there is obviously no reason whatsoever to justify any war scenario. Instead I very much encourage everyone to rather investigate the deliberate purpose of wars, who really benefits from them, what really goes on behind the scenes in massively broadcasting these conflicts that have apparently no solution.

We have to stop being victims of our ‘human nature’ wherein we blow things out of proportion and this doesn’t mean that an actual war/armed conflict is meaningless or not to be taken care of, but we do tend to acquiesce to wars through believing ‘we are making up our minds’ based on ‘what the media tells me so’ without focusing on real solutions which is of course that of preventing and stopping any war within and without of ourselves.

So the whole point here is to look at the reality of the ongoing situation: it is a war situation going on at an ‘on the ground’ level and a media-mind-war situation as well, an ‘infowar’ that we are all participating in by focusing too much only the words and the reactions we create about it based on what  the media says such as pondering who/what/why was this plane shut down in Ukraine, or whether there is any real reason for Israel aiming at eradicating Gaza, and whether the US and Russia will just re-enact the cold war scenario without even questioning if the history, reasons and justifications we’ve been told are valid or areal at all. Let’s rather start questioning why we perceive we have to ‘take a stand’ by supporting one side or the other in a conflict, instead of simply realizing that any war, any conflict within or without of ourselves won’t be solved by further protesting, by becoming emotional about it or by wanting to ‘know further’ about it either –

Wars as any other ongoing and daily war we wage within ourselves and toward each other in our day to day living will only stop when we can learn how to consider each other as equals, when we can learn how to honor each other as living beings and so realize that no war is waged ‘against others’ but is always toward self, war is always self abuse. Having said that, no matter how ‘evil’ plans there might be for further conflicts and how this ongoing war scenario escalates, it is to not lose perspective on it in taking ‘a side’ to what we perceive as “the good” or “the bad guys” – no. This is about rather ensuring one doesn’t get hooked on the information and remaining stable and self-directive in our everyday living because, let’s be realistic here: unless you are actually living in Gaza or Ukraine at the moment, you and I are most likely only being media junkies reacting to the whole media-war scenario without any relevance to solutions, but only reacting the way we are ‘supposed’ to in our belief that we have to ‘appear to be worried’ about it, which is useless and causes more problems than solutions.

 

What do I propose as solution? To focus on what I can do for myself to stop my inner war within my mind, to investigate why I can read something and become suddenly fearful, nervous, anxious or fearing my own death. What I’ve come to see and realize is that it’s because I hadn’t understood before why wars are created and directed, for what purposes or how ‘we could be so evil’ to do this onto ourselves– and so through this more easily being able to stop participating in any fear/mixed emotions about a news note we might come across and so rather get back to our reality where we then simply ensure that we work with what is here as our own self-stability in the mind, where we ensure we don’t feed the psychosphere/collective unconscious with further war mentality but instead focus on the solutions required, which begins by of course not supporting any war scenario under any justification/story told and always stick to solutions. That’s what I see has supported me to no longer be the media-junky victim that plays on fear, but simply get to research further, understand the ‘greater picture’ of world-control/manipulation, how we are mostly easily controlled by emotions and so by instigating fear at a massive level which makes us all more docile to accept any potential war scenario as ‘necessary for solutions’ which is the concept to of course debunk at all times.

Now it is not to diminish what is going on and the people that’s being killed, but the more we only give attention to these situations, the more we continue to miss out the point of where this conflict begins with: ourselves.

 

We tend to miss then the fact that as devastating a war situation can be, it is only one section of the world that’s having the magnifying lens upon it. There is an ongoing war of ourselves as human beings toward our environment/other living beings, there are constant wars going on in our own minds, in our personal relationships, within our cities, there’s passive-aggressive relationships where we constantly threaten each other’s living condition by refusing to provide money to everyone as a living right wherein the very structure of our society is founded upon war/antagonism/violence and furthering the divide and conquer mentality. We all – or the vast majority – live in survival-mode just because we haven’t managed to ensure food and shelter for everyone; we spend more time pondering about our own desires and dream-lives or wars and conflicts between certain groups in the world-system than sorting out basic coexistence problems/differences that prevent us from living/co-working and coexisting the best possible way. And the reason why we get easily caught up in ‘the problem’ is because we don’t actually focus on how to create solutions for ourselves, and that is quite a limitation we haven’t grown out of, which obviously needs to be corrected now.

 

It’s time to assess ‘who am I’ toward this information, what am I accepting and allowing within myself to be directed toward fear/anger/contempt or ‘take a side’ on this information, why do I tend to only blame a few as the culprits for creating the problem instead of seeing the greater picture wherein it is actually our collective responsibility to not give into further conflicts and become ‘active informants’ based on the fear to be part of a conflict, but to actually focus on the solutions, the plans for correcting the current structural problems we have co-created in our societies around the world and within ourselves in order to make a constant ‘necessary hype’ about as what we write, what we focus our lives and attention on: self responsibility at all times.

We should all focus on how we could instead make of our multiple media outlets a massively available source of supportive information that can aid in our awakening to become better and more responsible individuals/living beings that can then walk within the awareness that we create that which we decide to place our focus and attention on. If we only focus on wars, we will only perpetuate/feed the war itself. It is necessary to be informed of the real interests about wars, but also not to get only hooked on the war-playouts that are mostly fixed stories to not focus on our actual points of responsibility wherein each one of us can in fact make and contribute to the creation of a world we all want to live in, one where war can finally be abolished forevermore, because it is only the minority that supports wars that believes to be “benefited” by it –

We know no one can ever really benefit from war, harm and abuse – this is a mindset we have to eradicate within us and that is what we can then start working with within ourselves here: taking self-responsibility for every single thought, emotion and experience so that I can stand as a genuine no-war being within and so without, because only one by one in this awakening of self-responsibility can we genuinely create solutions by working together in this world.

No one really likes war, so why keep feeding it with hatred, anger or sadness? Rather joins us and work together to create a world that is best for all.

 

Suggested educational website: DAWN Democracy Against War Now

 

Watch:

 

Dead Flag Blues 09

 

Join us within our focus and attention on self-responsibility, correcting the problems and being the change we want to create as a war-less world


409. The Uncomfortable Truth

 

Estamos atados a nuestra mente 07

 

 

One of the reasons why this process cannot be done by ‘one individual alone’ is because we are very prone to creating our comfortable bubble where we believe that ‘nothing is happening, I don’t react, everything’s done, my mind is quiet’ and how else would it be if I remained in my own little world and my own little bubble!’ So that is certainly not walking process. Facing yourself as this world is not only facing ourselves in our own minds or as ‘the world system’ but facing each other as the mind we are and have become.

 

So, here I open up my recent reactions to the exposure of my own truth which is the state of the mind that we all have and how whenever someone dares to ‘show it all’ then I react ‘OH man! how dare that person do that!’ or ‘How can that exist within a person’s mind? which is all backchat that is in fact immediately dodging MY own responsibility to myself, my mind, my judgments instead of immediately reacting to ‘assess’ another’s mind/words/actions/behavior within me as the character of ‘politeness’ or keeping things in order and control, no different actually to how politics operate and I will open up this point of politeness and how it is in fact of course a façade and self-deception that as anything, can be walked through and rather turned into an expression of consideration, instead of a blanket used to cover up that which I ‘don’t want to see/face’ as myself which is essentially just postponing facing the inevitable which is the truth of who we are and have become as our minds, and so to not judge ourselves as the mind, but rather learn how to support ourselves, how to understand ourselves as the mind, how to self-forgive and so walk/live the corrections which is the real direction for self-change required here.

 

The most important thing within this is to realize that taking one’s mind or another’s mind personally is a reaction, it is of the mind and it is only perpetuating the same problem we have co-created because it is like realizing that one participating in one’s mind is like giving fuel to a fire. So, basic point here is also to realize that we’re all in a process and even if one is aware of the tools and ‘knows’ about the principle of self-responsibility, it doesn’t imply that ‘that person is going to take self responsibility’ or ‘is not reacting at all now.’ We are all walking through it and what’s more important: if I react to another and turn it as a point of having my expectations ‘unfulfilled’ it means that there’s a point of expectation that I haven’t really sorted out and a point of reaction toward words/actions that exist in one’s mind behind such ‘disappointment,’ and that because this mind exists within me and everyone, then it is my responsibility to actually take responsibility for it – No more and no less, no matter ‘who’ I believe is triggering an experience within me, I have to be able to stand absolute regardless of what is being said/done either personally or indirectly.

 

I realize that my responsibility does not extend only to ‘myself’ but others as well,  and that’s where I tend to simply think that well, I can ignore the person/situation and not make a fuzz about it – but if the person is already walking a process  and they are already working on themselves to stop the mind, then it is absolutely my responsibility to support another within my possibility and ability to do so,  as that is exactly what I would like and want another to do with myself as well, which is actually what I have lived through these past years of being supported as part of a group walking this process of unveiling the ‘uncomfortable truths’ of ourselves as the mind, that which we have kept secret and ‘veiled’ throughout time.

So here is a self-reminder how everything works in reverse in the mind: we have to be cautious when things seem ‘too stable’ or ‘not much happening’ and instead whenever conflict emerges to be grateful for it as it is unveiling an aspect of myself, of ourselves that we haven’t faced as is the case here.  

 

 

The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

This is the realization that everything that I judge in another exists within me.

 

Character extraction

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Responsibility and taking it All back to self at the individual level.

Based on the usual judgments I have created upon people that I perceive have something ‘wrong’ in them to, for example, be what I have defined as deliberately ‘evil’ or deliberately ‘deceptive’ or deliberately ‘conflictive’ and perceiving myself that ‘I could not stand such individual’ is demonstrating to me one thing only: where and how I have not yet considered such individual as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another within the consideration that if the person is too mind possessed, too conflictive, then I don’t want to have anything to do with the person, which is essentially playing what I had criticized in our society wherein those that were mentally challenging to society and deemed as ‘crazy’ or ‘too out of the loop’ so to speak, were exiled and sent out of the main centers of society, as they actually posed a threat to the order, the ‘system’ in itself which I also conceived as a reason to simply not have to ‘deal with’/walk with and actually learn how to assist and support ourselves as individuals that can be mentally challenging when it comes to how we operate in our minds.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become my own denial as in wanting to not face or excuse myself from having to confront/face a part of me as another individual that exists in fact in each one of us that have a mind, wherein when seeing patterns in another that I believe myself ‘incapable’ of doing or not being able to ‘fathom’ them, I go into a helplessness situation toward that point/person/mind that I am in fact then still reacting to within the belief that ‘ I cannot conceive how that can exist in another/ why they say/do things in such ways’ without realizing that who we all are and have become in our minds is essentially the description of being mind controlled, being schizophrenic as in being separated from each other, from our physical body and have become nothing else but ‘agents’ to consciousness, to the mind which we here understand that it has never existed within the principle and consideration of what is best for all because the starting point and origin of our mind was never meant to support our self-realization of being in fact equals and one in this reality and so

When and as I see myself creating a denial/existing in denial based on how I react to another’s mind based on backchat, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and expectations of ‘how another should act/be by now’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that here I am going into the assumption that people have had to ‘change’ already according to time and process application, without realizing that me reacting to another’s mind possession or patterns is in fact indicating my own patterns, my own reactions that I still have to deal with/walk through which is the whole point here. I realize that it is not about ‘the other person’ as it is all about myself, my own reactions to words/patterns/behaviors that exist within each one of us as mind consciousness systems that even if we know ‘how to support ourselves’ with self-supportive tools, I am here being the proof that going into denial, helplessness, disbelief, disappointment about others is really only about myself that am still reacting to people’s minds, processes and experiences.

 

I commit myself to when facing a person that is in a particular mindset that I have defined as ‘tough’ or ‘challenging’ that I then place myself in the position of understanding which is a practical humbleness that I have to practice wherein instead of looking for someone else to ‘take the ball’ I rather read/hear the person’s words and see how can I best assist and support myself to understand the person and so be able to in turn support another within  placing myself in another’s shoes so to speak – which practically means living humbleness without expectations of ‘what the person should already know by now’ as we have proven ourselves as human beings that ‘lessons learned’ have come and gone and we have repeated the exact same mistakes, which shows then to what extent I have to remind myself that it isn’t as ‘easy’ to change or to expect change from others instead of first working with myself to ensure that I am in fact that point of change and the becomes the living example of how it is possible to walk with and support another as myself, regardless of ‘who’ that another is, ‘what’ they say or how they present themselves as I then recognize and realize at all times that ‘that another person is myself too.’ And this is the essential aspect of facing our equality: nothing of what exists in another is really ‘separate’ from myself, and so

I commit myself to live by the principle of really stopping any expectation upon another, any idea of ‘how another should be/act like/live by now’ within ideas, beliefs or perceptions of who I believe another to be – and instead focus on myself, on actually ensuring that I am not immediately diverting my attention to ‘another’ but to first and foremost focus on myself as it would be kind of pointless to try and ‘support another’ if I am reacting even in the most subtle ways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see my reaction as ‘disappointment’ but I realize that this would be like wearing a ‘good doer’ suit wherein it is  perceived as  more ‘benevolent’ to believe I experience disappointment upon myself and others upon who I created expectations about ‘who they are’ but  instead I recognize the ‘disappointment’ as the façade to create a form of victimization, because it’s seen with a ‘better light’ at the eyes of others, but in fact it was just an experience of giving  up, not knowing what to do/how to solve situations and problems wherein I then go into the experience of ‘I do not know what to do/what else to say’ and in doing so, rendering the situation, the person simply ‘gone’ and ‘obsolete’ – which is no different, once again to how we treat mentally ill people in our society, wherein because don’t take the time to walk with them, we simply locked them out, treat them as schizophrenics, paranoids with dissociative personalities and never have in fact taken the time to investigate what they represent as a part of ourselves, as the mind and so to not judge the person as the actual physical living flesh they are, but to simply learn to observe, to recognize the mind for what it is, and so be able to develop ways to assist and support oneself and others to best be able to walk through our mind and to always stick to principle instead of allowing personal vendettas or personal experiences and points taken personal from deviating ourselves from this process wherein for the first time we are doing what has never been done and what we as human beings don’t like doing which is: seeing ourselves as the mind, introspecting, self-investigating, which this includes not only ‘myself’ but also learning how to walk with others, their minds and configurations, to understand how and why they ‘came to be’ who they are as the mind and so never miss the point of realizing that no matter ‘how bad’ or how ‘evil’ I may perceive another, I am only judging another’s mind with my own mind which means that this is a point that obviously exists within me and here to self-forgive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having harbored throughout many years the idea that because we are in this process, we simply do not ‘intend’ any ‘evil’ against one another, and so in this creating the assumption that because we understand principles, then it’s done, there’s no more frictions or conflicts, backchats beliefs toward one another, but this is simply not so. I’ve realized how much work it actually takes to really integrate this point of self-change and my point here to take self responsibility for is the experience of just projecting my own giving up to another as in ‘not knowing what else to do’ and seeing another as a ‘lost case’ instead of actually realizing that this mind /this person/this situation is actually a gift wherein I am demonstrating and mirroring back to myself where it is that I still have to work with within myself, within my mind, within my expectations and stopping them, within the memories that get activated within me whenever I have been throughout my life subject to any form of another’s mind projection as I see and realize that in the past I accepted and allowed this to affect ‘me’ because I then had no context or understanding of who we are as the mind and therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the thought pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ when I was in elementary school and I was subject to bullying for being the ‘star of the class’ and have kids stop talking to me or telling me how they were going to ‘defeat me’ and ‘bring me down’ and ‘win over me’ wherein I created an extensive amount of stress, apprehension and general I could say depression at age 7-8 wherein I could not fathom why these kids that were supposed to be my friends, my classmates were ‘getting at me.’ In this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of ‘I rather just not be ‘as good as I’ve been’ so that ‘they’ can have the spot they want and ‘I’ stop being the problem for them’ – without realizing that in this I would have given up on myself and making their words a ‘reality’ as a point for me to make decisions based on what others think/believe/say about myself or toward ‘me.’ So I realized by support of my mother that that was not the way and that I simply didn’t have to ‘listen to others’ but still, this ‘spine’ that emerged from these situations and later on becoming more aware of how we operate toward another as human beings in this world, made me feel powerless toward ‘the evil’ in this world and the actual nastiness and secrecy and deliberate hate that exists between human beings, which is how I then created the experience of being ‘too sensitive’ to these things which is why I then became a ‘hard ass’ so to speak so as to be able to cope better with all of these experiences that I went through while growing up and ‘taking the heat’ of things, while seeing myself in a constant ‘battle’ so to speak, which is why I also developed this mentality of having to be on a ‘defense mode’ most of the times toward those that I perceive are ‘out to get me.’

I realize that this is the modus vivendi that we all have, and that I’m no different to any other individual and I bet we have all created and built up our ‘walls’ of defense so that no one can really ‘get us’ or get to see the actual vulnerability that we all have as human beings, because this is understood as an opportunity to abuse a form of trust, of intimacy and understanding – so I see that because I’ve done this myself, I’ve been there myself, I can then understand why in the mind we tend to automate defense-mode and ‘attack-modes’ toward one another in the belief that ‘we have to defend ourselves.’

The  only thing that requires to be ‘defended’ is who we are as ego, because Life is simply recognized and supported.  

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have re-enacted, re-experienced within myself the same experiences of shock, sadness, disbelief and mostly  helplessness toward others such as the memory when I saw my ‘friends’ in school talking to each other’s ears during lunchtime and looking at myself and when I tried to join them, they simply ignored me, which is when I decided that I would have to learn how to be alone – and in this, allowing this secrecy and these backchats and ‘conspiracies’ about me to get everyone in the group to ‘dislike me’ to define ‘who I would be’ toward everyone else which is how I then started developing a constant state of distrust, having very few people as ‘friends’ and generally toward human beings creating this general idea that ‘everyone is evil’ so I could not like or trust people easily, which in a way it was cool as I was seeing the nature of who we are as the mind – but the problem is that I took it personally and I believed that ‘the world was out to ‘get me down’’ and that people wanted ‘my position’ in school/in my life or that ‘wanted’ my life, which lead me to essentially have virtually no friends, specially no ‘female’ friends as I considered that it was easier to ‘get at me’ or get to ‘steal’ the people I liked or my friends – lol which my fear became somewhat true at some point – but I see that this is all just what I have created in my mind, as my memories that I’ve loaded based on that initial disbelief, sadness, helplessness toward others’ words and having taken them personally, and so as a ‘result’ simply managing to become a ‘tougher’ person which was nothing else but the expression I had to ‘pull out’ in order to defend myself and have ‘no one to fuck with me’ which of course is not the solution, as this ‘stance’ of self-defense or being in constant ‘vigilant’ mode also leads us to perpetuate the state of wars within and wars without.

 

So in this I realize that If I am in fact here to embody stability and harmony as myself and toward others, I have to first ensure that I am not conditioning my behavior based on ‘how others act’ and so ‘act as a response To Them’ as this would be then Re-acting, responding, replying, reminding myself ‘who I should be’ toward another based on memories, emotions, beliefs, expectations, assumptions  - all of which is of the mind and all of which I cannot trust when being here with another, reading/hearing/sharing words with another and so in this

I commit myself to ensure that whenever I read something that is directed towards ‘me’ and I perceive it as a form of attack or slander, I stop and I breathe. And I ensure that I am stable and that I am not rehashing my past memories and experiences of ‘not knowing how to deal with this attack’ as in primary school – but instead immediately ground myself within the realization that these words are coming from another mind as part of the mind that I am also existing as, and as such, reacting in any way with fears, judgments, emotions and beliefs is nothing else but perpetuating the problem = not taking self-responsibility for myself, therefore I direct myself then to take into consideration how can I best support that individual and do so the same way I would like it to be done to myself, and actually seeing or ‘reminding’ myself that that person is a part of me that I am here to support as I have vowed to do so for myself in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the façade that ‘everything should be fine’ because ‘there is no conflict’ and as such maintain this belief or experience of ‘everything is cool’ or ‘workable’ and whenever  a point of conflict emerges in my world and reality,  then I go into a form of ‘blame’ toward the person/point that emerged as ‘conflict’ for ‘disrupting the workable/agreeable situation’ which is in fact only pointing to myself where it is that I want to maintain a form of control over how I believe the situation should be, and how even if I have tried to ‘embrace conflict’ there was an expectation of such conflict being ‘solved’ already and so when the point repeats/reactivates I go into a helplessness state as in the belief of ‘this point/person/mind should have gotten it by now’ and so in this actually using  this backchat as an excuse to not FIRST of all look at why have I created such expectations upon ‘others’ instead of first pin pointing the reaction, the experience that leads me to create such backchat in the first place? Why have I accepted and allowed myself to dismiss this subtle reaction within ME and immediately shift it toward ‘another’ which implies a form of righteousness as well: I am right and the other is the one causing the conflict, which is in fact dodging /abdicating my own responsibility first and foremost. 

 

When and as I see myself having the backchat/assumption of ‘This person should have gotten it by now’ I stop and I breathe as I realize that in this I am immediately dodging my own reaction, my own expectations, my own beliefs upon that person/situation and the belief of ‘point being corrected/point is aligned/point will no longer repeat the pattern’ as I realize that in the mind everything that we have become throughout time is nothing else but a broken record where we repeat our same experiences from our very early memories in our lifetime, which I have seen and exposed for myself as well. Therefore I then commit myself to understand the person/situation, rather see what point is emerging now, what point is repeating, why and how can I best assist and support myself first to practice blaming or seeing ‘others’ as the problem, as I realize that obviously no matter how ‘subtle’ these reactions emerge within me, such words when directed as an expectation ‘toward another’ is indicating me that I first have to look within myself and see where I haven’t yet changed/aligned and corrected the point of reaction within myself, which is the whole point here of absolute self-responsibility and taking it all back to self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the denial of my own secret mind when judging secrecy based on others’ words/actions, without realizing that in this I am once again dodging the realization that everything that goes on in my mind is still somewhat ‘secret’ as in there being no other being but myself in my mind and so by judging/denying/pointing fingers at ‘secrecy’ I am in essence missing out the point that has actually enabled us all to become ‘fearful’ to things like mass surveillance and so forth, which is how we want to ‘keep things secret’ as in hidden agendas where one can still allow backchat and imaginations/fantasies for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about others which is a form of abuse as I realize that I would certainly not want myself to be subject to or an object of someone else’s mind – so for this, it is to first of all understand that ‘who we are as the mind’ has been the epitome of secrecy, the secret mind as that aspect of ourselves that we have veiled from everyone else, wherein we usually paint a good picture of us while hiding the ‘actual truth’ of ourselves. And so the title of this is ‘the uncomfortable truth’ which is where we believe that we are ‘right’ in our minds, that we are the ones doing the proper assessments, without realizing that when we are in any way judging/blaming/dismissing or denying another as oneself, one is definitely becoming the source and origin of the problem itself, as in the mind nothing can be trusted, in the mind as an immediate and almost ‘quantum’ experience that comes into our physical bodies and permeates our ‘reasoning’ from which we create an immediate response/reaction toward another, is not to be trusted, it is to be actually Stopped, breathed through in order to then assess what is it that’s coming up within me, why am I having this experience in my physical body, and so not attempt to ‘reply’ or ‘react’ to another as a way to ‘prove wrong’ or ‘prove right’ but instead focus on how I can respond in a way wherein I am taking self-responsibility which means that

 

I commit myself to respond to another based on the consideration of themselves as myself, and so first ensuring that I am fully stable, not participating in any experience – and if I was, then I Refrain/stop myself from reacting in the moment – so that I can take the time to assess how it is best to assist and support another, instead of wanting to ‘teach a lesson’ or ‘remind’ another of something that I believe ‘should have been ‘gotten’ by now’ – which is another form of righteousness or superiority when it comes to ‘proving another wrong’ or proving that ‘the point has not changed’ as an excuse to ‘dismiss’ another, which would be like wanting to cut my own arm just because it doesn’t have the strength that I expected it to have, even if I haven’t actually done the necessary work/training to develop such muscle and ensure that I have done all that is required to, for example, have my arm have a particular strength to a particular task or ability in my physical body.

 

I realize that everything that we’ve done throughout our lives in this reality is to dismiss, deny, negate, discriminate, exile, marginalize everything and everyone that doesn’t comply or doesn’t ‘fall’ into the creation of a normalcy which can be of course quite deceptive if not all cards are on the table, which means if oneself hasn’t actually taken absolute responsibility for what one is doing/experiencing/believing and perceiving about others and or the reasons why I would want to not want to see/not want to face/exile or marginalize another within the belief that ‘there is no cure, there is no solution’ which all that comes to mind when writing these words is the image of doctors in mental institutions that keep patients sedated and fully controlled just because we’ve given up on understanding how they got to such mental condition – or with ‘criminals’ that are sentenced to death which is our easy way out in society to deal with our own consequences, to not have to ‘face the dangerous person’ but, really being foolish to not investigate HOW and WHY we have created such mental problems, such so-called ‘criminals’ and why even our definitions of mental illnesses and criminals have been so diminished in our ‘mind framework’ dismissing all of us really that still exist in our minds and that still participate in a world-system where we commit crimes against life as a collective by allowing the starvation and the marginalization of those that we have rendered ‘helpless’ and ‘poor’ and ‘eccentric’ and ‘mentally ill’ and so forth, which are all tags that we create to justify our inability to work with them/walk with them in order to get to point of stability – which, of course, won’t be an easy thing to do, but it is what I would like others to do toward myself if I was in such position/role of being the marginalized, the ‘ousted’ one or the rejected one, as I’ve certainly to some degree have faced such point myself so, I realize that that is what I want for myself and so I have to give it to others that are willing of course to support themselves back, as that’s the essential principle I commit myself to walk here: to support others the way that I would like to be supported myself.

 

I commit myself to stop all assumptions, all projections of ideas/beliefs and perceptions I have toward ‘others’ and ‘who they are’ or ‘Should be’ in my mind, and instead commit to live in the moment where words are assessed in the moment instead of carrying ‘past history’ of a person within myself as a recollection of ‘experiences’ toward ‘them’ to then decide ‘who I am toward the person’ as this is my own conditioning my own ‘program’ that I have to ensure is not interfering with my ability to support another as myself which begins by ensuring I am not tainting another’s words based on the past or ‘who I believe the person to be’ but rather work each time, anew, from the words  in the moment, no past, not future, just here.

 

 

I commit myself to live the word humbleness in practicality within the consideration of others as myself which implies placing myself in the shoes of another, understand ‘where they’re coming from’ ensuring I’m not taking their words/actions/thoughts personally, but that I am able to instead if I see myself able to understand the words, I can most certainly challenge and will myself to support another that I see is willing to support themselves too, as this is how I see that through supporting each other it is easier to face the points and patterns that still exist within ourselves, so this is to not see another through eyes of ‘how changed he/she should be by now’ but to simply work with what is here, no preconceptions, no expectations, no denials, no running away or dodging the point but facing it fully here as it is part of my reality, and that then is of course my responsibility to face as well.

 

I commit myself to live the word gentleness which is a very necessary aspect when it comes to my words and to ensure that I am not in any way creating a defense mode toward another or to prove ‘righteousness’ or want to ‘control’ a situation through any amount of force, as I realize that this is what I have judged from any form of ‘authority’ that I have experienced such form of ‘control’ form, which is nothing else but actual fear that attempts to keep things ‘stable’ instead of facing them and directing them as self – so I realize that in order to live Gentleness  I have to let go of any speck of fear that creates the ‘defense mode’ and so align my words to embody that gentleness, consideration and humbleness to understand another, to support another as I would like to be supported myself and so be willing to embrace all parts of what is here in this world as myself and as points that I require to face if I am in fact to ‘train’ myself to educate myself to support any other person in this world that wants to support themselves back.

 

Further reading:

254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

 

Suggested places to understand more about how to embrace and support the nature of who we have become as our mind:

 

Demonology | Revealing the world of demonsDesteni

 

The History of Desteni and Demons – Part One – YouTube

 

 

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To learn more about how to support yourself and another, share, walk with us and become part of the necessary liberation from fighting against each other and instead, become life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


408. Taking it All Back to Self-Responsibility

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A deeply ingrained pattern within me was to see everyone and everything else as the source of my dissatisfaction, my anger, my sadness, my despair and general experience of being vexed just about everything in my world. I actually saw this world as not good enough ‘for me’ instead of ever pondering whether I was ‘making it a better place’ with existing in such constant state of complain and blame toward ‘people of this world’  which is like a constant state of ‘being against world,’ which I used as an excuse to relate to as little people as possible, being rather anti-social and the people that I would gather with, would have a similar bashing toward ‘the system’ as myself and similar preferences when it comes to art or music that would usually create a ‘window’ to just escape the reality that I would define in all derogatory manners I could. I even got fed up with having to live every single day and go through the same routine ‘For what? To make the world a shittier place than it is? To waste more water, food, to eat more animals, to trash the Earth more?’ Was the usual backchat… and still at times something that I have to direct within myself in Self-Responsibility. 

So I actually was what could be deemed as a generally angry person when it comes to ‘life’ in general, which I would then experience as ‘being fed up’ with the world, being against everyone, believing the only thing I could do to ‘make things better’ was criticizing the world system and individuals that I believed were ‘dishonest’ and ‘corrupt’ and sort of like the ‘scum of the Earth’ when it comes to political figures or just about any person that held any form of influential position in my reality. So within this all. In my ignorance then, I believed that I was ‘dignifying’ myself by ‘not falling for the crap in this world’ and that I was holding some kind of self-respect by pointing out the flaws I could count on everything and everyone else – but myself, of course. See, the biggest realization I had to face within this process is that of seeing how in apparently ‘spiting the world,’ I was in fact  spiting myself only, as I am the only one that would constantly create and harbor such anger, criticism, antagonism, the sense of being wronged, limited and enslaved ‘by others’ and having been oppressed for a long time, which at the time I simply saw it as part of ‘my generation,’ never realizing it is actually the nature of who we have become  in fact as human beings throughout time: always blaming others for how we feel, how we live and never ever look within oneself to consider: Ah, yes, it was always me that was creating this experience within me and so projecting it all as ‘my reality’ and actually creating this world and reality based on how I think, feel and perceive myself and everything/everyone in this world, which I never really realized: it’s myself.

 

 ‘But I do nothing wrong! I’m a good person! I wish good for the world! I fight for good causes! I AM a good human being, I am Not the problem, look at what everyone else does! THEY are the problem!’ This exemplifies the kind of stance that I would hold myself in, being on my ‘high horse’ of being an ethical and principled human being that never dared to question whether my pointing fingers at others as ‘those to blame’ was in fact in any way supportive for this world and this reality to change. Of course it wasn’t, and it never will.

 

The principle of self-responsibility implies what I’d like to call the Golden Rule of ‘Taking it Back to Self,’  which is a continuous point of reference that I direct myself to consider whenever I am seeing something in my reality that I would like to blame others for.

 

 

Example:  Today the city was chaotic when it comes to traffic.  There were several protests because of some anti-pollution system that is now asking people that have older car models to not circulate during Saturdays. Of course the people that own old cars and trucks complained the most since they are the ones that need to use the car as a matter of necessity for their work. Say you have to deliver fresh meat, vegetables to your business and travel from the central distributor to run your own business on a daily basis  and because you earn very little money and barely ‘make it’ you cannot afford to buy a new truck, so you have a +15 year old truck and now government rule says: you can’t drive on Saturdays – and you can’t even ask your neighbors or else as they are most likely also in similar situation. Well, what do people resort to: protesting on the streets, and so this is what happened. It’s interesting how for the moment I only focused on how I was being affected by it, then how others were being affected by the traffic and then judging the protest as ‘useless’ – only then was I able to realize that I didn’t know the cause of the protest so I then realized I had to inform myself about it.

What did I do? Well,  I had to walk a lot to get around, and initially I did let out some F words only to realize I was just playing the ‘angry person that has no context of why things are happening that way.’ So as I researched and placed myself in the shoes of others, I understood their discontent however it is also a paradox since the kilometers of cars that were on ‘stand by’ on the streets today most likely created more pollution than the old-model trucks that won’t circulate on Saturdays. Well, paradox is our last name on this Earth too. So instead of me getting angry at the government, getting angry at the protestors, getting angry at the packed train and ‘angry at the world’ for being so un-common sensical, I simply walked the situation ensuring I kept myself breathing, focusing instead on the actual walking, the routes and breathing, not getting disgusted with the car fumes which is another point to work with when walking past lines and lines of cars and trucks in stand by in what seemed like perpetual traffic. I actually placed myself in the shoes of the people stagnant in their cars and pondered how desperate they must be, not being able to even ‘turn around’ and leave the chaos, it was everywhere, which was again just a projection of how I have experienced myself in the past in such traffic jams inside a bus or car.

 What to do in such cases? Sit down and cry, yell? Scream? Curse at the government and environmental department for such measures? No, I instead understood the consequences we have created overall and how I could do nothing else but not participate in any form of reaction toward the situation. Instead I used the opportunity to strike a conversation with another person about the situation and realizing how others are less apprehensive than myself, so, I simply did what I had to do and got home safely. So, from an entire point that I could have turned into just another excuse to ‘blame the government’ or ‘blame the people’ or ‘hate the world’ I took responsibility for stopping my own reactions, seeing the ‘bigger picture’ and formulating plan B’s for transportation as a short-term solution and plan of action. In the long run and as a world-system solution, I support, plan and contribute the creation of a world-system where each one of us can be self-responsible and always consider what is best for all, so that these pollution measures are not a consequence of interests in running 20th century technology for over 60 years causing the environmental problems we have today, while technology could have been made available for everyone to run cars on other means other than petrol and so, prevent this kind of ‘bans’ and limiting people’s mobility. This is common sense and common sense is what must reign in our world: it begins within us, seeing, scheming and focusing on the solutions rather than complaining about the problems and the causes thereof.

 

What does Self-Responsibility in this example imply? It is about realizing that whatever I point out in another as a form of judgment or blame for how I experience and making them the ‘culprits’ of ‘my suffering’ is just the finest way to evade taking responsibility for what I experience, for what I generate in my mind and physical body that I then project onto others as if ‘my mind/my thoughts/my experience’ could change the situation – be it emotions, feelings, internal conversations, beliefs, assumptions – oh yes assumptions – still working on that for sure. So, in this case I rather made the best of the situation by ‘enjoying’ the walking and the challenges to create the best route for walking in a safe environment/more crowded and aiming at fulfilling the timeframe I had in order to arrive on time to my responsibilities. And that’s it; I made it and even enjoyed the bit chit-chat with another person while crammed in the train which is a seemingly ‘unimportant’ thing but it can create a sense of realization that we are all in this, we can discuss it and instead of complaining rather understanding it. Was I able to stop my own experiences successfully? I can say I did, even if in the beginning as I was walking past the protestors I could see myself being with an angry face and giving some f words to the air only to quickly realize my little tantrum and so eased the point after a minute and instead I directed my focus and attention on the actual walking I required to do to get to my destination – and so I did.

 

 

 

What I explained is one example where probably being in the same situation in the past I would use these moments as an excuse to rehash my anger at government, system, etc. and this is in fact one of the most prominent points of blame and anger that I’ve existed as toward ‘others’ which is in essence the opposite of taking self-responsibility for myself.  My specialty when it comes to blame and pointing fingers: The elite of this world and specifically catholic church.  I saw them all as ‘THE Culprits’ and the ones to blame for everything that is wrong in this world, even if was less aware of how the system really operates back then, I called it irrational anger which implies I don’t know all the reasons why, but now I see that acting in the mind is irrational: it creates only a sense of ‘righteousness’ without providing any solutions = it’s all a mind job.

I used to spend many hours criticizing the system in chats with friends and believing that I had the write to damn another with words and thoughts and believing that we had the answer to it all, that only ‘my way’ of seeing things was the right one. It becomes even another way to socialize, to create a sentiment of ‘union’ with others when we calumniate about others in positions of power, judging the corruption and ultimately getting nothing sorted out or ‘done’ but only getting angry and laughing it out as if our political assessments and dissent about ‘those in power’ would place us in a more ‘powerful’ position, the ability to bash another in one’s mind as a form of ‘spell’ that could ‘make them pay’ for what we believed was being done onto us and never really pondering ‘well, how am I participating in all of this?’ And this also comes with the excuse of ‘I was born into this’ or ‘I didn’t choose to into this world, my parents did’ or some other responsibility-dodging ‘memes’ that I can even point out from popular songs.

 

All of this was debunked when I came to realize the design of this reality and how the ‘bad guys’ were nothing else and nothing more than also a part of self, self as the whole, as the totality that exists here that is myself too, and that even if there was a god/creator or designer/architect, even if there are elites and bloodlines that had taken care of implementing the essential forms of control, guess what? They are also parts of myself that had been designed and taken such positions to perpetuate and install such forms of control which in turn have been accepted and allowed by each one of ourselves too. In other words: we were/are and have been all equally enslaved by the roles we have played all along throughout our ‘history’ or existence, fooled by the illusion of separation, of having ‘nothing to do’ with all the ‘evil’ in this world and believing myself to not be corrupted by the same mentality I judged those in power to have – but what I never really did was placing myself in their shoes, living their exact same life, their education/indoctrination, their own set-up to believe themselves to have such ability to have power and use it for their own benefit,  maybe even tricked by others within the idea of it being for a good cause too. Who knows? I can now say that whenever I actually place myself in the position of a person born in a golden crib and being essentially trained/educated to perform some kind of managerial/leadership task in this world to create more wealth or perpetuate some bloodline position, I can see how I would have probably done the exact same decisions we see many people ‘in power’ do, as I would then be completely enclosed into that mentality, unable to see beyond my own perception of ‘my task/duty’ in the world or using some ‘ability’ to get the most if such ability and high-end reality was everything I would have ever known ‘reality’ to be. 

Why haven’t we then realized the principle of considering one’s own responsibility? Because this would actually cease the problems, the friction and conflict within ourselves and within this world, which would expose the world-system we’ve created as our image and likeness of ‘divide and conquer’ where we fight within ourselves, apparently ‘fight against the world’ and so creating the concrete jungles we live in where ‘everyone and everything is wrong but myself.’

We coexist in a reality wherein we have all become very personally identified with the roles that we play, we have come to believe ourselves to be our professions, our money, our ownerships, our relationships, our appearance, our qualities and skills and everything that we have defined as ‘who I am’ which in a way it is as the potentials and points to align within self – but at a greater scale, we are only playing our ‘role’ in the play, wherein I’ve realized that what we have to stop from here on is precisely getting lost in the game, getting lost in character and forgetting the greater picture we’re walking here.  There’s so many petty and trivial things we start fighting each other for, blaming, pointing fingers, backchatting, cursing at and essentially always seeing another as ‘the problem’ for MY will /wellbeing to be fulfilled. And this is where we bit the apple and so now face the consequences.

 

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Why? The apple is the knowledge and information, the code of consciousness that we have integrated as ‘who we are’ – which is what we define as our egos: what we like, dislike, judge, blame, love, believe on, feel threatened by/fear, reject, accept, etc. All of this is based on the personalities we become. So what happens is that in this world and reality we are all born into various positions that certainly entail no ‘equality’ when it comes to the role in the play/game we are in. We have created this reality in the image and likeness of our own friction and conflict in the mind: we constantly believe we have to justify ourselves, to defend ourselves, to win the game, to trump others, to spite back, to fear, to secure something, etc. And this is in turn what we believe is caused ‘by others’ or ‘by the world’ within self, when in fact all that matters here is realizing that: we do this to ourselves, we cause these experiences within us and as such it is NOT about ‘them,’ it is about what I accept and allow to exist within myself.

 

A point I’ve worked with another person that also walks this process is taking self-responsibility for one’s reactions even when having faced a point of direct physical abuse. To learn how to take self-responsibility and to SELF-Forgive the creation of blame, resentment, holding a grudge toward another that is perceived as the ‘wrong doer’ entails an actual understanding of what led to such point of abuse, how do we all collectively create such point of abuse, how not to take personally the point of abuse and how to actually focus on self-forgiving the experiencing within self toward another and so realizing that the most harm done toward self is the recreation of blame, spite, resentment toward ‘the other’ as such experiences are always created within self, and self’s body and mind are the ones that actually end up being more affected throughout time than the actual point of abuse itself. This is then a clear example how Self-Responsibility goes hand in hand with Self-Forgiveness, because there is a realization of What I have done to MYSELF based on what I believed was a way to regain some sense of honor or respect, by spiting/being disgusted at/blaming/being angry at others that created a point of abuse ‘toward me’ – but in fact, once one starts exploring ‘abuse’ in itself, we can only come to the conclusion that all abuse is always self-abuse and that one cannot really ‘get away with murder’ in this existence, it might seem like it temporarily – but no one is at the moment ‘absolved’ from having to go through a Life Review wherein in this world or after death we get to face all points that we had left behind and that we believed we didn’t have to face again. Well, nothing really ‘washes away’ in this reality and that’s where Accountability exists along with Self-Responsibility.

 

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So once that I realize that everything I have experienced is My creation only, and that the ‘way of the world’ is nothing else but OUR ways in which we haven’t learned how to create a world that’s best for all, blaming, calling others names, getting angry at others, seeing myself as the ‘right’ one or any other delusion is then realized As the delusion, the actual point of irresponsibility that I play out just to ignore and deliberately abdicate my responsibility which is toward myself first and foremost so that I can then also see what I create in my world based on my own experiences. I am one point stopping, but what would happen if we all collectively understood this point, got out of the ‘angry/blameful character’ and start taking self-responsibility for what goes on within and without of ourselves?

 

I was talking to another today and it’s cool to get to see these points while walking this process as well, where a huge point of self-responsibility resides in the words we speak and understanding the ‘nature’ of the word that we speak and what we make of our reality with/through them. Being self-responsible implies realizing that whatever I  do/think/say creates a consequence, and so I ensure that I am able to Respond to such consequences, that I can effectively direct myself and others within such outflows and consequences as ‘they’ are in fact myself. So it is about self-direction where within common sense I stop creating the illusion of separation, the illusion of ‘others’ and start realizing that as I direct myself in consideration of what I act/do or don’t do in consideration of what is best for all as the principle that I live by as life in equality, being one and equal in fact, then I in fact start taking responsibility for myself and my creation/my reality as myself which includes others.

 

Sounds like a big task, but it isn’t when we begin with ourselves and so doing it to the point where the ways in which we recognize ‘the world system works’ are in fact patterns that exist within each one of us at a mind level, as our ‘ego’ that becomes them some kind of concept, idea, or system we enslave/limit each other with. This is how we cannot only say that ‘it is THEM’ doing it to ME’ because: it takes two to tango. The puppeteer cannot exist without the one that poses as puppet.

 

 

 

Many times I saw myself damning people, specifically people in power, people at heads of church or even some priests at my school. I wanted to blame them for perpetuating the lies, the corruption, the scams, the degradation of life to a profitable scheme where good ‘neutral’ images could sell education and promote ‘the word of god’ while doing the exact opposite to any of the principles ‘they’ were supposed to have vowed to. Well, if anything: aren’t we all doing the same thing? Aren’t we all living these lives where we all try and put our nicest image and idea of ourselves to hide everything that we know in fact exists as a threat to everyone’s well-being?  In my case I for sure spent a great amount of time polishing an image, an idea of myself, how I was going to achieve my aims which were all mostly based on personal power such as getting into some kind of ‘mainstream’ position that I would so openly criticized, but be able to position myself on the ‘left’ side of it, being the famous and popular opposition so that I could also make quite a big buck by writing and theorizing about dialectics, revolutions and how awfully wrong everything was in this world, seeking ‘justice’ through punishing those ‘at the top’ or any other form of diversion from Self-Responsibility, which is what’s broadly promoted in this world as ‘activism’ or ‘political commentator’ etc. An example: what has Assange, Snowden or some Russell Brand have done to promote self-responsibility? Anyone? Anything? No, hence I don’t buy any of the ‘roles’ they suppose in the system and even if they were ‘for real,’ I still get no life changing realization from what they revealed or say or are paid to say to perpetuate the idea of change through ‘revolutions’ and so forth. Well, this is an example of why Self-Responsibility isn’t being promoted on your TV as ‘Revolution,’ and this is why I consider it of utmost importance to stop seeking for culprits, to stop seeing ‘the elite’ as the problem, to stop seeking any form of revenge but instead, to start focusing on what I can do/ what I can direct, where and how can I stop the same patterns from reoccurring within myself.

 

Well I was on my way to become that, always complaining, always blaming, always getting angry, frustrated only to then seek to get ‘lost’ for a while so that I would not have to think further about why everything seemed so wrong in this world. Well, I missed the point all along: myself. I was the one perpetuating this internal war. Let’s look at it this way:  was I ever in fact talking to these people I blamed for ‘all the bad things in the world’ to actually dis-cuss the points I saw in them? No. Was I ever in fact looking at the structural problem, investigating the root and the cause of it and seeing how we are all co-participants in it? No. Was I ever genuinely intending to become part of the system then to be a participant that would direct things with common sense and self-responsibility from within the system? No, I did the opposite in fact until I also got sick and tired of being bitter and angry at the world. By my inherent desire to find some other ‘answer to life’ I discovered Desteni and started my process of Taking Self Responsibility, and I must say that this point of seeing myself as the point that has created such inner war was a hard one for me to grasp, just because of how much I had defined myself according to my own victimization, my own so-called ‘oppression’ and being ‘wronged’ by others -  but at the same time, it became the most humbling as well which I continue to be grateful for so that I can as I did today realize my ‘tantrum’ and ‘b-lameful character’ I become when blaming others for ‘things going wrong.’

 

Another example: when I think of ‘people in power’ I see nothing else but players within the same game I have also been an equal participant in. I don’t ‘feel’ hatred or anger as I used to and I probably have taken for granted such a change within me. I still have to work on myself on remaining stable and self-responsible when witnessing some kind of physical abuse in front of me or in my environment – and in this realizing that there is abuse going on in this world every single second and that if I was aware of it in fact as what’s going on within self, then I would never cease to be angry or about to explode for each point of abuse. I’ve realized my emotions do Nothing to solve the problem, but only perpetuate it. An example, I have walked a process of self-forgiveness about hatred to the church because I harbored so much hatred that it became something irrational, something I would just recreate even by passing by every church and till this day it is  something to still remind myself it’s just bricks and stones and not to judge the people in it or the priests at the top: we have all co-created this so I take responsibility for myself and ensure I do not perpetuate the separation through reacting emotionally about something or someone.  

I could not get the image of the inquisition instruments of torture out of my head for a long time and I could not fathom how such evil could exist within humans, and how ‘evil’ they must have been to do that to another human being… little did I know about the actuality of our nature, which has never been something nice or benevolent and how this is in fact not something I like to repeat to myself to ‘punish me’ or ‘blame me’ – not at all, it is about an understanding, it is about a ‘greater truth’ as the evidence of what is here that has enabled me to make sense of everything that I saw as the utmost horror and evil in this world, it allowed me to face myself, the nature of self. Till this day, hearing about the most atrocious forms of torture, imprisonment, abuse and decay is a test for me to not blame, to not go into anger, to remind myself that this Is the abuse that I am also a part of by virtue of being in this world and that by me creating an emotion about it, I am in fact not supporting anyone or anything to realize our responsibility within it all, to understand how we’ve come to create the results we have today in our reality and to be able to forgive ourselves for we didn’t know what the hell we were doing to ourselves/each other/self all along.

Another aspect that I support myself with is realizing that I would have probably done the exact same thing that ‘the most evil people’ in the world have done if I had been born in their shoes, lived their lives, walked their education or the lack thereof, the abuses onto them and so realize that the evil in this world is nothing else but the result of a multi-generational process of abuse toward each other, in absolute separation and ignoring the fact that any abuse imposed onto another: is abuse imposed onto self.

 

 

This is how when investigating and understanding more about the reality we live in, and whenever I see myself wanting to go into victimization, it is a point to remind myself that there I am wanting to throw my hands up in the air and believe I am powerless to do anything. Those are the moments to really not allow myself to even create one further thought of judgment toward others based on what I believe/know or assume they have done wrong or any ‘evil’ doing, and wanting to blame them for the state of affairs in this world. In fact I feel nothing these days toward ‘them’ but mostly it  all comes back as the realization of all the work that we must get done if we want to in fact be genuinely experience the potential that we are as life, which has been constantly obliterated every time that we only sought our personal glory, power and benefit.

 

So this point of self-responsibility in the form of the golden rule as Taking it all Back to Self is one of the most useful reminders in my process. With it I prevent myself from seeing others as the cause of ANY experience within myself, no matter how much I can see them as the culprits, the wrong doers, the evil ones etc.: by virtue of existing in this same planet, by virtue of being a human being, by virtue of me being able to point out what’s wrong = I am an equal participant and as such, I have to stop creating further experiences toward ‘them,’ I have to stop expecting others to change so that I can change, I have to stop believing that ‘they are doing this to me’ –  I stop myself from going into blame or holding a grudge against others, harboring hatred or plain rejection toward others as I see and realize that those emotions and experiences are only my own and I am not doing anything in fact to solve the problem and situation by getting angry.

 

Have I fully changed this at a personal level? Not to the absolute. I still get mad at times when I perceive people are being abusive, irresponsible or careless , mostly in my environment, things I can see around me which is then also according to what I am aware of. In this I commit myself to be diligently self-aware to ensure I do not allow myself to justify my reactions toward something/someone and instead ensure that I take absolute self-responsibility for myself, prevent my own reactions as I see and realize that any experience I create toward another is in fact anger toward myself for what I am accepting and allowing to exist within/as me, and that these emotions will get me nowhere, so I rather focus on being able to live here, in the physical stability of myself as breath and instead become an actual living example of what it means to live self-responsibility in this world, our creation and reality.  

 

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

 

 

To learn more about Self-Responsibility and the golden rule of ‘Taking it All Back to Self’

 

  • Desteni
  • Desteni Articles
  • Destonians
  • Desteni Lite Process
  • Desteni I Process
  • Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
  • Desteni Forum
  • Desteni Wiki
  • Desteni Español
  • Creation’s Journey to Life
  • Heaven’s Journey To Life
  • 7 Year Journey To Life Process

  • 407. The Mind as Mankind’s Fall

    Continuation to:

     

    The original nature of man as ‘fallen’ can be understood as that origin and starting point of our existence as the manifestation of the separation of Self as one and equal. This is about that primordial separation from which we have come a long, long way up to now where we virtually have no remembrance of how long we have been repeating the same mistakes, the same patterns, living the same li(v)es and seeking the same answers as to why we haven’t been able to live a fulfilling, peaceful, joyful life. And that’s where it all began, when we have considered that the rather disturbing and horrible things going on inside our minds and so in our reality is some kind of a ‘fall’ or a ‘course’ that we have to seek to escape, ignore or seek to be saved or hide from it all in the opposite polarity in all things that relate to positivity, light & love as consciousness ‘revolutions’ and ‘evolutions’ that promote the avoidance of everything that would be considered in our minds as bad/negative/destructive –however, who/what or rather HOW did we come to define the ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ in our reality?

     

    Origin of Separation 07

     

     

    What I truly consider necessary is to understand our starting point in this process of investigating how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to act, speak and think in ways that are not best for all, to only act in the mindset of ‘what’s best for me’ as the reverse of life, and this is all because we have listened to our minds as our thoughts, feelings and emotions to dictate who we are, what to do, what to believe, etc. which means: we haven’t lived in self-awareness, we haven’t lived by principles that consider what is best for everyone and ourselves, we haven’t paid attention to how we dictate our lives based on our beliefs with which we create the world-system, constructs and institutions in this world as our image and likeness; we have created our own traps and laws as knowledge and information that we then  use to excuse our own thoughts and actions without questioning where did it all come from?  It is about realizing that we cannot rely in the answers given any longer – instead we have to focus on understanding the mechanism, the ‘tool’ with which we think, and that is the Mind.

     

     

     

    Apparently, the Consciousness as Personality is a ‘Higher Form’ of Being, because – it can ‘Reason’. But, in fact – it has No Reason. Reason would be the Ability to Directively, Always, Manage All Existence in a Cooperative Way with Respect, Understanding the Inherent Equality as the Life Force that Animates the Form. But the Consciousness Refuse to Consider this. Because that would mean, it Must Give-Up its Self-Interest which is Focused on the Continuous Systematic Production of Energy and Feelings by Systems that the End-Result as Consciousness Never Sees, Never Understands, Never Considers. 
    Frankly, to be the End-Product as 
    Energy
     and Feeling – without Understanding the Mechanics of Production: is the Height of Ignorance, and is the CORE Cause where All Life Forms and Life itself is Ignored. – Bernard Poolman 

    - See more at: http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-258-vampires-in-soul-of-sacred.html#sthash.dEzEtNM0.dpuf

     

    How we operate in the mind is – and this you can observe for yourself – we constantly and continuously create a process of friction and conflict within ourselves, we generate and perpetuate ‘all bad things’ in our lives and so in this world, which becomes then our ‘fallen’ state or condition: it is not a curse, it is not some divine punishment, it is not only preprogramming – it is the laws, rules which come from thoughts that become our ideologies with which we start defining ‘who we are’ and ‘how things must be’ which lead us to exist in conflict, always seeking to be at the point of least discomfort, the least effort, the least conflict, the most ‘love’ or ‘feeling good’ as all things positive that we eventually become addicted to. It is then in this self-created ‘fall’ that we start  vehemently seeking all things to seemingly ‘escape’ from seeing, facing and realizing the consequences of our original starting point which is that of friction and conflict, of not cooperating  with each other, of evil as the reverse of live which is defined in our minds as negative, seemingly ‘bad’ which is nothing else but acting/thinking in ways that are harmful/abusive/deceptive to oneself, which carry consequences that we can all witness and are participating it as our lives and how this world-system mostly operates: deception, corruption, hatred, abuse, control, etc.

    These are not things we have to fear and hide from, this is what we create ourselves with our very own thoughts and experiences in our minds, this where we have led ourselves to in self-interest and disregard of everything and everyone else as equals. So, fearing it or denying it is only prolonging the necessary process that comes when realizing what we’ve done and become. Nothing to feel guilty of, that can be self-forgiven – experiencing real shame is not an experience in itself, but a profound decision to understand what I/we have created, done and become and make a decision to never again repeat the same mistakes, that’s a constructive way to live shame and transform guilt into a process of self-correction.

     

    One of the reasons why throughout this process we initially focus on dissecting, investigating, understanding the ‘evil’ as the reverse of life existent within ourselves and the world-system as a whole, is to see, realize and understand how each one of us through acting based on what we think, feel or believe have come to act and co-create this world in a way wherein we have only regarded ‘my personal interest’ and disregard everything and everyone else. We learn how to  seek culprits, point fingers and blame others for how ‘bad’ things are or what ‘they’ have done unto ‘us’ – not realizing that there’s not ‘us vs. them’ because for a master to exist, slaves had to comply to such role as well.

    We tend to avoid looking at or rather fear focusing on our consequences, which is not to get fixated on everything ‘bad’ in this world – it is rather to understand how we came to create these consequences, what we have done, what we haven’t done, where have I actually been directly involved with the consequences in my own life.

     

    The Sole Purpose for the Human Existence, being that: as a Slave – Producing the Energy Necessary for the Multi-Dimensions Existence, in Form. – Bernard Poolman

    Read the entire explanation at:  http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-254-secret-geometry-of.html#sthash.Co7M2FpI.dpuf

     

    This is also why we expose how in seeking only ‘the positive’ we are only creating a Band-Aid solution to a very deep in-jury we have inflicted upon ourselves from the beginning of our time, never in fact knowing the real story behind our purpose and meaning of existence in this reality – this is not something ‘negative’ or ‘bad,’ it is how things are in fact. The only way to understand why we would we or anyone act in a deliberate harmful and abusive way is through understanding how our mind works and operates, its origin and purpose, which is why I consider that it is vital to investigate Desteni and so understand that all ‘the bad’ and negative in this world is our creation, so we simply stop creating an experience toward this ‘fallen’ perception of man, stop thinking we ‘will never change’ or that it is human nature and as such it is unchangeable – and instead direct ourselves to do the truly revolutionary move of challenging such beliefs, challenging everything we’ve known till this day and focus on our own process of understanding what it means to live in Self-Honesty, to not be dictated by pre-ordained thinking patterns, emotions or feelings but instead deliberately think, act and speak according to what will be supportive for each other as equals.

     

    It is also self-evident how our reality is the result of our disregard of each other as equals, from giving to one another what we should have always given to each other in the recognition of another as myself –we haven’t applied any of this because we allowed ourselves to focus only on the individual, the survival, the ‘how I feel and experience myself’ which is nothing else than giving priority to who we are in the mind as emotions and feelings – the negative and positive experiences respectively – all energy based. What I have learned at Desteni is that participating in these experiences is in fact once again confirming our separation and enslavement, our ‘fallen’ experiences that we then tend to use as an excuse to focus on ‘getting well’ or ‘being positive’ rather than looking at physical reality and questioning ourselves why we have created this generally ‘negative’ state and condition for everyone? Why do we have to constantly seek all the ‘good’ things in life instead of giving this to each other as a living right? Why have we kept each other oppressed, marginalized and uneducated about our true potential when we work in consideration of what is best for all?

     

    Waterfall

     

    When we believe we ‘fall’ for example and create a negative experience about it, we are in fact only caring about ‘how I FEEL’ and how I Experience myself through thoughts, emotions, feelings that I then believe are in fact ‘real’ and so confirming and recreating one’s own ‘fall’ as explained in the previous blog, which is nothing else but a self-created experience that we then hold on to as an excuse to not actually stand up, review why we fell, how we fell, what can we then lay out as a practical solution to prevent oneself from committing the same fault/ mistake and so continue walking, continue living the process of self-correction.

     

    When we allow ourselves to define ‘who we are’ through the veil of emotions, feelings as beliefs, desires, fears, worries, obsessions, we are in fact only contributing to the problem in our reality, we are not contributing to establish solutions, because solutions come in the form of practical plans of action such as stopping participating in emotions with which we make ourselves  feel bad and miserable – which is the same process when we go into a ‘high’ experience seeking to look only at the positive in this world, thinking about all that makes us feel good and that we’ve defined as beautiful or comfortable in our experience – this is what creates the most problems in fact, because in this we ignore our starting point which is the actual reality that everyone can confirm right now just by going outside of your house and looking at how we relate to each other, how our money system operates, how we have to exist in a constant survival mode, how wars are waged within ourselves, toward each other and between nations, how we use information to manipulate, how we learn to lie and deceit to earn the most… all of this is what we have created as our image and likeness of our original separation from being in fact living as one and equal from the beginning of our existence.  

     

    This doesn’t imply that we must remain fixated on only looking at how ‘bad’ we are as that would also be an excuse to remain enslaved, which is also useless without understanding such consequential outflows what we create. We have to stop believing that ‘we were born this way, we are screwed for life’ type of excuses. What we focus on at Desteni is daring to first look at that ‘evil’ aspect of ourselves, evil as in the reverse of live, understanding why and how we have come to exist as and create these high levels of self-abuse, neglect, self-harm, hatred toward one another and so once we start understanding how we create such destruction through our everyday distractions in the mind, losing track of living principles, we can then start practically writing and structuring How we can stop participating in all of these destructive distractions and establish/build a new track where we can step aside of our own cave, to see that the ‘fall’ must not be a continuous experience of feeling damned, but can only be a moment to reflect further on how we came to such ‘fall’ or entrapment, and how we can now focus on getting back on track, stop all distractions, stop self-destruction and align ourselves to that which we realize is best for all, best for oneself which begins through precisely using writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to give ourselves the direction that we realize we always should have given to us, to live by the principles where equality is realized at a practical level.

    This is then part of the understanding of why we haven’t just lived ‘heaven on Earth’ and why we desperately sought it by avoiding all that we perceived as evil/bad/negative, which we end up creating as a consequence of not realizing that we haven’t built any actual foundation – such as a world-system based on living principles of life in equality –  to provide a good life for each other here on Earth; we haven’t yet collectively worked on establishing supportive platforms of education to understand our minds and so understand how this world is a reflection of every single pattern of separation that we exist as within ourselves, which is also one of the purposes we are so adamant in sharing the importance of understanding our minds and so realizing the responsibility that resides in each one of us to contribute to this process of self-change through self-honesty and self-responsibility, learning how to honor each other as life.

     

     

    Collective unconcious 07

     

     

    Some other examples of how we trap ourselves in our mental polarity

     

    Seeking ‘peace’ is nothing else but a controlled and ongoing state of ‘preventing war’ instead of getting rid of the concept of war and peace to realize the positive and negative connotations to it and how such ‘states of being’ are only experiences in the mind, where one is defined by the existence of the other – in this, we forget to look at the reasons why wars are waged, why we have come to believe that a ‘solution’ to a conflict comes through death and destruction, why we have come to believe that wars are a good way to ‘restart the economy’ or how wars can be a way to honor a nation… and so realizing that peace is not something to fight for, but a process of creating a world-system where we never again fall in the trap of believing that war  brings any supportive results in our reality. The same applies then to love and hate, good or bad, weak or strong – dissecting each of these words to understand why we create our own highs and lows is the most empowering thing we can do, so that we are no longer controlled by  energetic experiences as thoughts, feelings, emotions but instead focus on establishing a real stability in our lives through focusing on practical solutions in physical reality.

     

     

    An example, if we see that money is a collectively accepted concept existent as debt and as such a fictional instrument of control to keep the majority on survival mode while creating ‘power’ for a minority, then we realize that it makes sense to step by step start aligning this money-construct to become something that is actually supportive to enable everyone to live in dignity. A practical way to do this is for example to provide money for everyone that doesn’t currently have an assured income and provide better wages for everyone as a beginning and stepping stone to continue then correcting the entire construction/concept that we have all created as what ‘money’ is and redefine its creation, use and purpose the same way that we can redefine words to stop reacting to our own creation of money, judging it as ‘the root of all evil’ and as such, start focusing on how we can give another use to money to provide a everyone access to live in a dignified manner and investigate all the alignments and corrections required to be able to collectively agree to do just that.


    They key point is to understand then how we came to create money as the apparent ‘root of all evil’ which is the image and likeness of our need to control to have ‘more’ than others and so consolidate the idea of power, and so start looking at and structuring ways to perfect the creation of money so that it no longer is issued by private corporations for the purpose of perpetuating power and control, but that it functions merely as the administrative and practical tool it always should have been from which debt and its profitable creation in the form of interest can cease to exist – this will only be possible when we collectively agree on money becoming an actual way to ensure the supportive management of resources and how we interact with them to have a dignified life.
     

    As we can see, sorting out the money problem involves a process and so it will also take a process to do the same with ourselves in our minds, to understand first how we created the problem, why, how we have become the problem itself and so create a practical plan to change ourselves once that we have faced, self-forgiven and understood the point in which we have created our own fall and never really moved from it until now that we are opening up the ability to change ourselves.

     

    Money is as fake as this Empire State Plastic Eraser

     

    The only reason why we have to begin with and first focus on the consequences we have created, the actual negative/bad/destructive aspects of our reality is because we have conditioned ourselves to neglect them, to avoid seeing the truth of ourselves, our reality and so only resorting in that which makes us ‘feel good’ or ‘think positive’ which is the apparent ‘way out’ from our own damnation. But the problem is that we have accepted and allowed such evil/negative/bad as who we are which lead us to accept the fact that seeking the ‘positive/good’ was a solution – it is not, it is only jumping from pole to pole which is also why most of our problem-solution-reward processes in our world-system have been another way to evolve the problem, because there had never been solutions based on what is best for all and embracing all aspects of ourselves/our reality as oneself, but instead we have always generated solutions where some are benefitted and others are not, perpetuating the divide and conquer mentality as well as the polarity of ‘good vs. evil’ and once again back into the programming of thinking and perceiving this reality through the mental-filter of ‘good vs. bad’ which is what we have trapped ourselves into always experiencing conflict of doing good things or bad thins, never considering plain common sense of what I require to do to live in consideration of what is best for all.  This we do through the process of self-honesty: not ‘ignoring’ the bad, not avoiding it but understanding it, self-forgiving it and laying out solutions and corrections that we can implement at an individual and collective level which won’t be founded upon going into the ‘up’ or ‘high’ experience as something ‘positive,’ but simply aligning to the principle that exists within each one of us as part of this physical existence, the principle that we can see would enable us to co-create a reality where we can fulfill each other’s necessities, where we can actually express ourselves to our utmost potential which exists in each one of us as a potential to be developed – it is a seed waiting to be watered in each one of us.

     

    Now that we have the understanding of ‘the evil’ or ‘the fall’, we can then focus on forgiving the ‘fall’ which is the equivalent of existing in separation, existing in the mind, existing of consciousness and so walk this physical, practical, constant and consistent process where we can apply ourselves to correct our ‘nature’ and for the first time prove to ourselves that we can live as equals in this world.

     

    For all of this, an individual process is required, which is then how our starting point can be realized not as a damnation, an eternal curse, but a general misalignment to the principle of Life in Equality, which is who/what we really are as part of this existence from which we have separated ourselves through knowledge, information, words, experiences – all of it in the mind. An analogy here is that it is no different to seeing a detuned guitar and each one of us being part of the strings that are ‘out of tune.’ So tuning ourselves as each string that will make the guitar have a harmonious sound is our responsibility, and it will not be about creating a ‘greater experience’ about it or about making ourselves ‘superior’ for walking the process of ‘tuning’ ourselves, but simply to align ourselves to how we all realize in common sense will make the guitar sound better, to fine-tune ourselves to be actually ‘sound’ and support the actual creation of music that can come from such guitar – the strings being each one of us and the guitar as our body, our reality as the platform that enables the expression of the strings which is this world along with all living beings that are here and that already cooperate and exist in self-awareness, the same as the world body that has been waiting for us to decide to begin aligning ourselves so that we can altogether sound ourselves in harmony as a whole.

     

     

    As we can see the realization that we are out of tune is the first step, Then we have to see whether we are high or low in the tone so that we can understand how we will fine tune each string, and just like we all know when a guitar is sounding ‘good’ we can all also have such principle of what would be best for everyone in this reality such as providing each other the necessary support to physically live well and have a dignified life, to support each other the way we would want others to support ourselves, to not harm or abuse each other but to rather realize what we can do and create if we work together with this starting point and principle of considering what is best for all, to give to one another as we would like to receive and through that we can eventually get to realize ourselves as equals which means: stopping living in the positive or negative aspects of how we define what we do, but to simply focus on understanding how have I detuned/misaligned myself, how to correct myself to tune myself back to my alignment based on what is best for myself and all so that I, in conjunction with everyone else, get to be sound and able to express ourselves as we always should have done, because we all want this for ourselves, we just haven’t taken the actual steps to do so beginning with ourselves as individuals, as that’s where the initial split was created in our individuality: in our minds, mining our physical substance to power up our friction and conflict – this is the actual self abuse that requires to be stopped within self-first.

     

    What expressions can come from aligning ourselves? That’s up to us, but first point is to take that first point of responsibility to align ourselves, to fine tune ourselves and the rest is yet to be walked. It is important to note that the tuning might not be a given answer – it won’t be a feeling, a though or an emotion. We have to actually take the responsibility to create the ways in which we can physically test out what works, what doesn’t, what points to consider, how to see the changes through space and time – it is all about a physical process of stabilizing ourselves and supporting each other to do the same and so push ourselves to share with each other how it is possible to truly live to our utmost potential – this is yet to be seen and realized, but we have to start somewhere and so we begin here, with ourselves.

     

    We are everything as equals 08

     

    Suggested read:

    Supportive Reads:

     

    Supportive Material:

    The Soul of Money Series:

     

    The Secret History of the Universe

     

     

    To learn more about transcending the veil of good and evil:

  • Desteni
  • Desteni Articles
  • Destonians
  • Desteni Lite Process
  • Desteni I Process
  • Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
  • Desteni Forum
  • Desteni Wiki
  • Desteni Español
  • Creation’s Journey to Life
  • Heaven’s Journey To Life
  • 7 Year Journey To Life Process

  • 406. ‘The Fall’ in Process

      

     

    Throughout this process and interacting with a considerable amount of people online walking the same process within Desteni as I am, I’ve read many, many times how people ‘come’ and ‘go’ when it comes to applying the tools at Desteni like writing, sharing at the forums, sharing our writings and in essence doing so because we understand that this is about placing visibility of the principles that we should have always lived by, such as the consideration of being one and equal, of being life, of taking responsibility for how we act, live and exist in this world as cohabitants of the same reality. However we also become aware of how difficult it is at times to simply stop existing in our own mind-patterns, our routine, our excuses and justifications for holding on to something that defines us, that we perceive is ‘who we are’ and as such don’t really want to change and challenge ourselves our ability to step outside of the known ‘hole’ or obstacle, as if these were in fact part of ‘who we are’ and always have been and had no cure, no remedy and no means to ‘get well’ or stand corrected. Well, whenever we decide to ‘fall’ in process is similar to standing inside a cave and knowing how one can get out, the tools for practically dealing with ‘life outside the cave’ or ‘the box’ and how to begin living outside of everything we’ve ever known, but somehow we become afraid, or miss the false sense of comfort that remaining in such cave or ‘box’ gives us, which is our mind, everything we’ve ever been and done.

     

    So, what happens is that when we ‘give up’ on ourselves is really in essence a declaration of saying I prefer to remain in the cave, I prefer to remain enslaved and I do not want to actually change. Why is it necessary to then understand the ‘fall’ not as such as in falling into a precipice and seeing ‘no way out’ of it? Because a fall is associated with a ‘falling’ from the sky, a falling from heaven, a going down, a being ‘damned’ and going to hell, a getting ‘out’ of the ‘higher realities’ and seemingly missing out some kind of heaven… well, those associations – regardless of believing in any religion or god – are existent in our own conception at least in English and in Spanish in my case of how something that ‘falls’ is a form of decay, a damnation, a ‘not good enough’ statement, self-deprecation, self-devaluation, etc. So the point here is to consider ‘the fall’ which is also associated with the ‘fall and rise’ of empires or regimes and so on, to stop seeing our process in such terms and rather see them for what they are: a deliberate decision to change or not to change.

     

    To back up this point, here the exact quote of Oxford dictionary on the word ‘Fall’ and see all the meanings that we want to apply or implicate when we say we ‘fell’ in our process:

    fall

    1  move from a higher to a lower level, typically rapidly and without control. (fall off) become detached and drop to the ground. hang down. slope downwards. (of a person’s face) show dismay or disappointment by appearing to droop.

    2  cease to be standing or upright; collapse.

    3  decrease in number, amount, intensity, or quality.

    4  pass into a specified state: the buildings fell into disrepair. occur or arrive. (fall to doing something) begin to do something.

    5  be captured or defeated. Cricket (of a wicket) be taken by the bowling side. archaic yield to temptation.

    6  be classified in the way specified.

      noun

    1  an act of falling. Wrestling a move which pins the opponent’s shoulders on the ground for a count of three. a downward difference in height between parts of a surface. a sudden onset or arrival.

    2  a thing which falls or has fallen. a waterfall.

    3  a decrease.

    4  a defeat or downfall. (the Fall of Man) the lapse of humankind into a state of sin, ascribed in Jewish and Christian theology to the disobedience of Adam and Eve.

    5        North American autumn.}

    “fall (n.) Look up fall at Dictionary.com
       c.1200, “a falling;” see fall (n.). Old English noun form, fealle, meant “snare, trap.””

    EMS Adam and EVE

     

    The Fall of Man and Breaking the Illusions

    Again, doesn’t matter if you are religious or not, this exists at an unconscious level within each one of us. The moment we go into the perception of ‘falling’ we actually corroborate our own ‘damnation’ and apparent inability to change: I fell, I am damned, I have no remedy, I’m fucked for life, screw this process! But how can we define our failures if we haven’t even fully gotten ourselves out of the cave, which means to live by principles in the constancy and consistency required? How come we have continually damned ourselves as incapable of change? Or constantly ‘falling’? Are we really ‘falling’? I mean, have you actually gone inside a hole in the ground of which you can’t get out? No, it’s all in our minds and when we declare that we ‘fall’ we expect ourselves to justify our own ‘damnation’ by confirming our preprogrammed ‘sins’ and being ‘damned’ for not following some divine laws.

    This is how we trap ourselves in the polarity of doing good and bad, of rising and falling, and perceiving this constant battle to  ‘keep oneself from falling,’ not being ‘strong enough’ and feeling ‘weak,’ not realizing that this already implies that I AM battling against ‘the fall’ or ‘falling’ which already makes our starting point absolutely flawed when it comes to walking this process as principled living which means: living the way that I realize we should have all always lived by: living by principles to get to our utmost potential, which is nothing more and nothing less than living by the principles where we individually and collectively ensure we consider each other as equals, where we give to each other what we would want for ourselves within the realization that we are in fact one and equal.

     

    So, that’s the ‘theory’ behind this process, but in practicality then it means that there’s no such thing as a ‘fall’ when I deliberately decide to not act in this principle of considering what’s best for all, there is no ‘sin’ or ‘wrong doing’, it is simply a decision of not living by principles. Is there a punishment? A judgment? A devaluation necessary? A feeling bad for it? No, that would be manipulation of course, another sense of guilt that people in churches and religion are meant tot experience when perceiving themselves to be doing something ‘bad.’

    The perfection of this process resides in us facing the direct consequence of everything we do or don’t do and according to our starting point in everything we do, act, speak or don’t do act or speak on, the principle with which we do something, we’ll also receive and or get the feedback/result in equal-stance or equal starting point. Of course we live in a world where we are Not yet living in principles so this is not a guarantee as I cannot force another to treat me as an equal because I consider him/her as an equal, but it all Does begin and end within self at this stage and so doing this will certainly mean creating our own way ‘out of the cave’ from scratch as it’s never been done before. So, instead of feeling, perceiving that one ‘falls’ when not continuing the application of living principles, I suggest realizing it simply means I haven’t willed myself and made a clear decision to live, act, speak in the principle of what is best for all, to actually commit myself to live by these words that I see and realize will be the actual bricks to construct a world that I would surely like to live in, one that is best for all.

    Instead of a falling, I suggest picturing yourself rather deciding to remain inside of a cave or an invisible jail that we’ve become so comfortable in, our ‘con’ of a fort, a fortress we’ve created and existed as in our minds where we believe we are always ‘safe’ and ‘protected’ instead of seeing it as the prison we’ve existed as for far too long now. Instead of perceiving ‘I fell’ I simply realize I have to once again see How I am keeping myself from walking outside of the cave, what skills do I require, which fear is it that I have to work with? What am I not willing to let go of/ what do I want to hold on to?

    And so, break through the illusion of ‘the fall’ and see it rather as the actual movement I require to stand up inside the cave and give myself direction to walk outside of it, to walk outside of the box. No one said it would be easy, but not doing so would only confirm our own mind control and frankly, I am done with it. If I don’t like the world I see around me, the daily news, the apathy, the distress, the pain, the suffering… I am not going to retreat further into my cave and keep dancing with the shadows, I stick to willing myself to walk outside of it and take the necessary steps to make it visible that we are capable of doing this as human beings, and that’s what I commit myself to be and dedicate myself for: rattling the cages of the caged which implies my own as well.

    For further reference on The Myth of the Cave by Plato, see: 

    Allegory of the Cave: our excuse to remain as slaves

     

    The fall is not real, it is only a lack of decision to change, so be the change you want to see in this world – stand up and take the steps outside of the cave. Walk along with us, you /we are not alone.

     

     

     

    Let’s learn together how to stand up and walk out of the cave:

     


    405. Culture: the Clockwork of our Psychosphere

     We may not change culture overnight, but we certainly CAN begin changing the way that we live and participate in it.

     

    Continuing from:

     

      Seeing it from this perspective to me is quite supportive to ponder ‘twice’ any time I go to watch a film or see any works of art and remind myself that what I see is not special, not unique, it won’t give me a ‘breakthrough’ in itself and so stop for once and for all that ‘seeking’ mentality which is more like a habit from the past as I am certainly not looking for any ‘truths’ in it any longer once I have realized I created my own mythology with my art as well, without realizing that there’s nothing new under the sun and that we all use the same symbols and images so it’s just arranging it in a different way to create some meaning and give continuation to the stories – lies – we have been telling to ourselves as human beings to make us more godly or divine, at least that’s what the ‘art role’ was meant to be according to what is taught in academy. Yes, though once you start finding out the nature of such ‘god’ and such elites, well, let’s just say that art can be reduced as well to the most refined form of propaganda of course and now I understand why I had such a hard time realizing that all art had been previously entirely devoted to promote religion or immortalize monarchs or peasants to remind ourselves ‘this is how it’s always been like’ in the absence of the eye that can lie as well as the photographic camera, but hey every age requires its own cementation in our minds through pictures and words, so art served that function.

     

    If anything, art has been used to impose symbols, to enslave – hence the ‘mythical’ start of it for magic-religious purposes. Gee, only now I kind of realize the pieces of my puzzle and the absolute diversion I delved myself into, no wonder I was seeking gods in pictures, symbols or philosophies – all part of the ‘inherent’ (read: preprogrammed) need to have someone/something greater than us to make responsible for this entire creation – so, religion is one of the primary mind constructs we all exist as, whether you are atheist or not, it’s part of the unconscious the same way that we believe that fighting for our lives is something that makes sense, or how the rich and the poor is how things have always been and always will be. Art then became the necessary imposition of images to perpetuate religious mentality for the purpose of pacifying/stupefying and sedating individuals while threatening with the ‘wrath of god’ if anyone dared to step outside of the line – well, it was religion back in the day but now it’s just alcohol, drugs, sports, entertainment and big pharma too, but that’s our contemporary story.

     

    So, it’s taken me some time to find ‘more reasons’ to write about this art subject and it’s interesting how I had to use other pieces of information to break my own spell, meaning, having to let go of the idea of art as something ‘really human’ or else, as if it was more ‘true’ than anything else we do or say, which can’t be so, because everything we have ever thought, done, spoken comes from who we are as the mind and so we have only learned how to regurgitate the same ‘system’ into pictures, ideas, stories and so reinforce our own cages, which is why understanding one’s enslavement makes it easier to let go of anything one is holding onto from ‘the past’ which is the current automated reality we are living in – it is once again to remind myself that no matter how ‘majestic’ something might look like, it was never meant to glorify or represent life or principles of equality at all, but rather the opposite.

     

    An example: writers were contracted to be informed about which topics to write upon, such as space travel, futuristic technocracies, alien invasions and so with doing this, begin an entire new ‘wave of thought’ in the society through these inoffensive tools called books that then eventually turned into movies. The same with films which are formulas to instigate a particular line of thinking and making of the main topics in them something acceptable as part of culture/what goes on in our minds as well – just as it’s happened with porn appearing on ‘mainstream movies’ nowadays as well as sadomasochism made ‘cool’ and we’re on our way to make of pedophilia and all kinds of paraphilias something ‘acceptable’ so that younger generations get the idea that ‘it is okay to have sex with older people.’ This is the current nature of our culture and where we are heading to.

     

    Clockwork 2003

     

     

    Once again, are we only revealing and making acceptable what always has existed within us as human beings, or are we instilling new behaviors through our culture? I’d say both since we create such fixations in our minds and we simply evolve the experiences to have new contexts, new ‘ideas’ to fantasize upon and so ‘upgrade’ the experience. In the mind we function as addicts that get our ‘fix’ from having something to think about or fantasize about and the initial experiences can get us to quite a ‘high’ but then, we continue ‘pushing the envelope’ because once the energetic reaction becomes normalized (you build resistance) one seeks a greater dose. This is what I see is what we’ve all been following in the media until it becomes absolutely unsustainable or else, what is left there to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to our celebritism? To our ‘art’? to our films other than rehashing the same stories over and over again?

     

     

    Why do I see this as a very relevant topic? Because I can see myself as a product of the ‘culture’ I decided to immerse myself in, and I mean this as an actual decision I made in my teenage years to soak up the most information about music, books, arts so that I could work on that – why did this happen? It clearly happened after 2001 and the almost paranoid reaction I had toward keeping myself high on CNN watching every detail and every move after 9-11– lol just like those elections where Bush wasn’t able to be clearly defined as the next president and you’d ponder WHY was I watching that? Well, it was my idea then of becoming politically involved. But after realizing the scam it was, I then veered toward that which I thought was more liberating: arts. My very relationships and career decisions were entirely shaped by every single book I read within the starting point of finding some kind of ‘truths’ in them, seeking to identify ‘me’ through the writer’s characters without realizing I was in fact absorbing it all to then rehash it in the form of ‘my own personality.’

     

    The same with the music that I developed an affinity for, the stereotypes of individuals praised as ‘artists’ and how I also even trained myself to praise crap art (not literal though) because, well everyone else seems to also like it isn’t it? Lol like my ‘favorite movement’ Abstract Expressionism and Pollock – just praised alcoholics or junkies made stars on the cover of Life Magazine, upgraded to such stardom for a very necessary political move of that time when it comes to consolidating America’s position after WW2, and this would imply that  we only get to know of the artists that somehow have also ‘agreed’ to be part of the establishment – which from my personal aspirations of ever getting to that position means that everything has always been fixed and that no one becomes that famous without hidden agendas. Who knows? Maybe Van Gogh was made such a legend because of his erratic behavior and affinity for absinthe and so, he was made famous to begin instigating  more people to get into drugs to paint in such ways too… because let’s face it: we copy and integrate everything we see around us and if we see something that works to ‘get some success’ going, then we will try and emulate it because it is part of our preprogramming to seek such specialness and ‘uniqueness’ too, and some people like myself would seek it through artistic stardom, others through becoming a stock broker which means: yes, art is not ‘outside of the system’ at all, and the star-system is the learned protocol if one wants to ‘make it’ within the system.

     

     

     modern_slave

    Artwork by JL Kenney

     

    I actually decided in my early teens to watch all ‘cult movies’ because I was getting myself prepared to be ‘well acculturated’ and went from Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver, A Clockwork Orange, Scarface, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Trainspotting, Reservoir Dogs and others..  you can see the constant topics there: drugs, criminality and ultraviolence and this is what is a ‘must’ in every movie along with sex if it is to ensure its success, a perfect carrier for imprinting new behaviors which are then copied by ourselves as if it was a mint reflection of our society.  When it comes to books, reading Burroughs, lots of Kerouac, Palahniuk, Coupland while listening to depressive music saying ‘It’s too late now, It’s the devil’s way now’ and watching people like Thom Yorke get ‘depressed’ in his ultra-famous lifestyle pointing out to us that even if you have it all there’s still that depressed state residing within due to being too aware of how things really work, or be told that Kurt Cobain committed suicide for hating this world and wanting to die – which I still consider he was suicided in fact, but that’s another story –  Well no ponder I painted what I painted, I just rehashed what I would read/hear/see around me: Culture!  And nowadays it’s stronger than ever to promote being dumb and stupid as ‘cool’ and having mentality such as ‘You Only Live Once’ and justifying any form of teenage stupidity because Hey, YOLO!  Or seeing the ultra mind controlled Miley Cyrus or some ten years ago Britney Spears breaking the norm of what a ‘lady’ should act/be like and continuing to push the boundaries when it comes to ‘gender roles.’

     

    Entertainment was the key influence in my life throughout the time when I was developing my own emotions and feelings which is what I eventually enjoyed ‘losing’ myself into: as a child watching too much TV, as a teenager reading many books, listening too much music from which I learned more about the human mind while developing some rather unusual fascinations with everything that pointed out toward death and destruction, which I later on transposed onto my own paintings wherein I tried to also become part of the ‘shock world’ just because I was so much against what seemed normal and acceptable, so I found my ‘niche’ in society by everything that seemed to go against the tide.  An example is the time when I placed myself to watch some ‘cult movies’ like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, I considered them far too violent and could not comprehend how people could revere it, however I then wanted to be part of that world, of the ‘alternative’ or the not so widely acceptable, just anything that could question or challenge what I deemed to be the ‘status quo’ or ‘what is normal’ but, I wasn’t at all aware how it is that these movies were made popular for the very purpose of making sex, drugs, ultra violence part of the mainstream and ‘normalcy’ in our consciousness. 

     

     

    The same went on with A clockwork orange, I watched it a couple of times and walked through my own early digestion of the idea of violence being enjoyable for these guys and pondering if others were able to discern that such violence was not in fact something funny or enjoyable and that these guys were sick in the gulliver. However a deliberate problem here is that Kubrick didn’t include chapter 21 on Burgess’ original story, which would have given another twist to the whole plot and shown a real grown up Alex that had transcended his ultra-violent teenage years as that would have ‘broken the spell’ for a film maker that was also meant to create a ‘mark’ in an entire generation and generations to come with the portrayal of violence as something fun to do, aside from the mind control remarks in an attempt to ‘cure’ Alex’s problem, which also gives a hint of what Big Pharma means today in a ‘mentally ill’ person’s life: cure without ever pondering WHY is it that our so called ‘mental illnesses’ exist today more so than ever before, and how we could even legitimize it without any real means to test someone for it?

    I guess I could write many things about all of this since it’s part of my so-called ‘visual’ education, but the point here is to realize that nothing is what it seems, there has been no real virtues in this world, we have never been actually alive so anything I ever had respect for of course was just a lie that I wanted to hold on to for some reason, which in this case it came through what I would read in magazines that was considered ‘cool’ and ‘cult movies’ and ‘movie classics’ which actually were on purpose made part of such categories so that any person would then have to watch those movies and get acquainted with the basics that make of Hollywood something profitable till this day.

    Will I be able to see things with the same eyes again? No, once the lid is blown off, you can’t. It is no longer a nice story where Jane the girl in American Beauty that would kind of see through the ‘fakeness’ in reality, ‘falling  in love’ and running away with a drug dealer to ‘escape their reality’ I mean, it stops having such romantic twist to it – as I had defined it anyways, lol – and it becomes just another plot where those that could not ‘fit in the box’ become ‘outsiders’ and living in the fringe side of reality.  However I do like to keep watching/reading to continue seeing where and how we have created this mass hypnosis where we have essentially become the personas that we are sold in the media: this is the not so innocent and most pervasive brainwashing and as such, I see it is very important to become more aware of how we ‘entertain’/entrain ourselves, and not end up in denial of that which we wasted our life time on, as I did at some point in my life too when being in a constant hypnosis of watching music videos for example.

     

    The point here is demonstrating how we have never genuinely created something that demonstrated an actual point of self-creation in our culture, and of course we haven’t done so because We as individuals have Never in fact considered such starting point possible within ourselves in the first place, to recognize the power and ability to create ourselves, to become better human beings. All we have ever been and done is to exist as the ‘created’ at the mercy of some invisible creator, repeating, revamping, rehashing what has been used since the beginning of time to revere its ‘unfathomable’ existence and creation.  It was in the repetition of symbols, myths & archetypes, ideologies and holy books, behaviors and morals that we have shaped ourselves around the same acceptance of oneself as the mind only and from there, confirm our ‘human nature’ and why we seem to always be so unfulfilled, so miserable, suffering all the time, the ‘pains of living’ and the ‘struggle’ to make a decent living… is this what LIFE is really about or is this what we’ve seen/read/watched it is Meant to be? We have only perverted, tainted and twisted it all further, enhancing our own separation, ignorance, apathy and overall self-destruction through the ‘creations’ we’ve pulled out as arts/media/culture – please see specifically now contemporary art/ post modernism of which I became just a part of by reproducing the same ideas around everything that I would imprint within myself on a daily basis for years on from the TV: death, destruction, decay, suffering, abuse, sexual deviance and learning how to praise this as some kind of ‘truth’ of an individual, almost learning to accept this bs as  the ‘dark side’ that we had to come to embrace and make it more evident to ‘wake up’ but, of course we’ve kind of remained in the phase of becoming enamored with our distractions, our diseases, our paraphilias and haven’t yet given the next step to outgrow it and realize it for the teenage years this implies when it comes to our stages of development as species. Sure, you can be mesmerized by how well done/crafted some works are, but again:  is the starting point of it, the essence  and intent of it something that I can consider valuable or respectable and supportive for our real development as living human beings, to consider what is best for all within the context of self-honesty? No.

     

    All seeing eyes 2005

     

    In a way it does mirror our reality. Contemporary art became garbage, literal garbage sold as millions, or canned poo which is the most common example of how this ‘devaluation’ or should I say the entire extrapolation of value became yet another cognitive dissonance and part of the plan when art came to form part of ‘desirable collectibles’ by the elite and making some pieces of plastic worth millions of dollars – I correct myself, billions of dollars such as Sotheby’s record sales of 5.8 billion dollars in 2011 –  making it nothing more than just any other asset for people at Wall Street to feel empowered with. It is also very cool for me to see and realize this, and come to see how all those books I read trying to make sense of ‘the movements’ or phases of human expression were nothing else but planned justifications to make it seem as some kind of ‘natural evolution’ of sorts, when in fact it has always been planned specifically to follow through within the context of how the world works at an economic and political level. Let’s not forget it is the current roles of curators and ‘art authorities’ that decide what gets ‘consecrated’ and what doesn’t –  just as in regular HIStory told by the winners, the side of the story that we are meant to adopt and accept as ‘how the story went!’ so that we keep feeding each other lies and keep revering our own masters.

     

    IGod

     

     

    The current success of our drugged/medicated, dumbed down, fame seeking population suffering from cognitive dissonance, while being dumbfounded at celebritism confirms the effectiveness of our own mind control, accepted, allowed and even praised. When we look at our culture, we can see nothing else but the fulfillment of our own prophecy for absolutely consensual enslavement, one that we buy and choose as part of our personalities and preferences, believing that we can somehow still manage to ‘feel special’ in a standardized society where even ‘subcultures’ or anti-cultures are part of the system, lol. From my own experience, it will take quite some time to wake up from it, as it just took me some 7 years to come to realize this because I had wanted to keep the little idea or dream that these artists were ‘special people’ that had have some genuine ‘revelations’ in their work and what they do, which is what I tried to be a part of, to be the one that could ‘see’ behind the scenes or have some special connections with god –  I am not joking here, when I started painting I also wanted to be the hand of god to reveal something special, lol. But, how could that be without even pondering first if the thoughts, the images, the concepts we had in our minds were in fact our own, including the idea/notion/speculation of GOD itself?

     

     

    The same with architecture and every ‘majestic’ construction, of course it was built by slaves but I still wanted to overlook the obvious inherent purposes of such constructions as the physical consolidation of what ‘control’ and ‘power’ looked like, of accepting the existence of massive amounts of wealth to build for the elites, repeating symbols for thousands of years and as such learn it in our history books as if it represented some ‘great work’ or revelation of our ‘who we are’ as species – dismissing the fact that if anything, we could confirm that we have never in fact ceased to exist as slaves, but instead we were taught how to  revere our enslavement. We are all in fact experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and it is rather urgent that we wake up to see how through the seemingly ‘innocent’ we are driving each other to the precipice, starting with child consumerism and the archetypes fed by Disney movies, it’s definitely something to focus on if we can’t at the moment entirely straighten the rest ‘crooked trees’ right away, but children are of primary importance here.

     

    I still find it very interesting when I hear someone say ‘to have thoughts of their own’ as if we had our very own copyright to everything we think or say, as if we could create words from scratch. We weren’t even aware how our tastes and preferences were being shaped by ‘the environment’/culture and our lineage/parents which means you would get into it no matter if you went to private schools or else, because having a TV, reading books, watching films, or simply being with your peers would invariably taint you with it.  Drugs were never meant to be ‘liberating’ but the other way around, they were just promoted by these people that told us to ‘tune in and drop out’ while hanging out with artists/rockstars and make everyone drool to such ‘lifestyles,’ never even pondering who was financing some of the greatest ‘rock bands’ in history and virtually any ‘star’ that we have gotten to know of. It’s very simple: if you become famous, if you ‘make it’ it mostly usually means you had to continue playing the role and tell the stories that give continuation to the agenda for further indoctrination and control. This is how we became the useful idiots as human beings that  in seeking for a piece of heaven as fame and fortune, one comes to accept certain ideologies and behaviors, sometimes it’s not even by explicit consent because we then believe that we can innovate by ‘pushing the envelope further’ and ‘be controversial’ or transgressive as if this meant going against ‘the core of control’ as ‘the system’ or religions,  but in fact it is another contained form of ‘rebellion’ to continue misleading ourselves from the actual sources of change, which doesn’t mean dropping the white dove to embrace the raven within, but the consideration of the starting point of why I do this, what motivates me, what do I get from it? Am I supporting myself within this that I am doing/creating? Is my intention to support others and myself through it?

     

    Nothing of what we see currently as ‘mainstream’ In our CULTure is spontaneous either, it is manufactured, it is deliberately fixed to promote certain ‘artists’ or ‘artworks’ or ideas through TV shows, so it doesn’t genuinely reflect an ‘evolution’ because there’s NEVER been such self-directive change in our consciousness: we’ve always been herded/guided. And this is yet another aspect to de-mystify about expression and what has been promoted as some kind of ‘spiritual revelation’ in art itself or in Satanism as pop-culture is presenting now: it was never in fact meant to ever represent genuine self-expression, it’s only a chewable way to integrate mind-control and mind possession as ‘normal’ and ‘cool’ while sending any living principles out of the scene and made uncool or ‘old-fashioned.’ 

     

    Sacred Mindfucks 2008

     

     

    If I hadn’t stopped myself from falling down that precipice of the new age/sacred art culture that I was delving myself into some 7 years ago, I would have probably be enamored with things that Alex Grey’s paintings or aiming to at least be someone like Banksy to be an incorporated and revered form of ‘resistance’ to the system. Everything is literally ‘on our noses’ as the culture we breathe in and out every single day – and there was still a part of me that refused to entirely SEE this or more like placing it into words, as I was still holding on to keeping just this ‘little pieces of heaven’ as the ideas of who these ‘great artists’ had been, and ‘what great inspirations’ they have represented for me and yes I repeat, their work probably is/was or their ideas,  but of course it never meant a life-changing example but more of a conducted and deliberate plan to continue misleading from promoting or making actual solutions part of our ‘pop culture’ or art movements. This is why everything is so contained as if it was prescribed, it’s a preprogrammed plan as well and as such there was no real ‘innovation’ or real creativity involved but prepaid craftsmanship to advance and give specific morals, ideas, en vogue topics as the ‘new directions’ to our human culture and this is what I’m most intensely interested on these days: debunking our culture.

     

    Maybe I can learn something from that Chuck Klosterman’s book I read many years ago Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs  to analyze popular culture and see how it is that our fitter-happier mentality in this capitalist ‘mediafied’ system is the ‘filter’ through which we create our relationships, how we interact with one another is entirely manufactured for a specific purpose: to become willfully ignorant and prisoners of our own diversion and distraction as we become addicted to what’s in the ‘psychosphere’/collective unconscious and be a part of our globalized mentality, which I don’t necessarily judge as ‘bad’ but only see all the points that would require to be aligned to be a supportive popular culture, and we are heading in the opposite direction at the moment.

     

    So, one point to consider here is that this is in no way to blame those that apparently ‘set the agenda’ as ‘they’ were just part of the game anyways, but rather looking at how I/we accepted and allowed ourselves to become prisoners of our own diversions, of our own emotions and feelings, of our own minds while neglecting to really look at what is it that we are making of ourselves, what have we turned ourselves into and use common sense as a point of reference to see ‘where we are’ in our day to day participation: is what I like, do, follow, commit to what is best for all? Why is it that something as vital as politics and understanding of how the system really works never been part of our inherent ‘culture’? Why have we reduced politics to a mockery? Nowadays politicians seem to be more of a subject for reality shows with the same contest-like popularity mentality structure where one can ‘vote’ for the lesser of two evils and call that a civil duty – so why are no real definitions of politics as in realizing our power to direct our lives and so make effective decisions to benefit ourselves as society?  Oh no! That’s where the real threat exists! That’s why we are constantly taught to hate ‘the elite’ and ‘hate politicians’ and see them as ‘the problem’ while excluding ourselves as co-creators of the problem – that’s the Real problem in fact. And so the importance of always considering SELF-Responsibility in everything we might think or believe that only ‘a few’ are imposing ‘upon us.’ It is as simple as realizing that there would be ‘no culture’ if we – one by one – didn’t actively participated in it.

    DSC01882

     

    I remember this text of about 50 pages on what ‘Culture’ is when I was in junior high school and now I would reduce the definition of culture to the industry of making behavioral imprints part of a person’s individual and collective identity for the purpose of maintaining old-age status quo with the appearance of evolution or progress while creating a paradigm of ideologies that perpetuate the divide and conquer mentality through the mechanisms of entertainment and arts, which are intended to standardize thinking, behavioral, emotional and feeling patterns in the masses. There has never really been an evolution, but only a change of scenario with words that would indicate ‘progress’ while missing out on the actual newspeak this ‘progress’ entails. How can there be any progress when we still leave out billions of individuals from having access to the most essential needs to live in dignity, such as water, food, shelter, healthcare? This is also to place into perspective in which kind of segmented bubbled mentality we exist in when praising the lavish lifestyles of our rich and famous while disregarding and deliberately ignoring the real problems we have come to accept as ‘normal’ in our world.

     

     Common Sense and Principled Living to consider Life in Equality and What’s Best for All in everything we do/act/speak is what we don’t yet  learn in school and this is why it is so important to start debunking everything we had used as an excuse to justify ‘who we are’ and our ‘human nature’ within ‘culture,’ because culture is still man-made, it is NOT something inherent to our physical bodies, it is not in the air we breathe, it is not in the food we eat – no matter how contaminated or GMO’d it can be – it is all about who we are in the mind and what we decide to participate in. Human Nature and ‘Culture’ have become the greatest excuses as to why it is apparently ‘impossible to change’ now, it is a comfortable lie we like to tell ourselves, so we have to being there before attempting to call others ‘liars’ isn’t it? That’s where self-integrity and self-honesty begins.

     

    It’s time to debunk my own perceptions of what art was supposed to be and to understand that even if I had the intention to ‘see beyond the veil’ the very fact that I wanted to hold on to some apparent ‘good’ things I had believed were a virtue in some individuals and human creations like in art made me want to hold on to certain aspects of my own cultural conditioning from which I developed my personality, my taste in men, the lifestyle I wanted, the kind of music, TV, books and everything that I previously regarded as , ‘the who I am’ within the social-soup of reality which is the way I shaped myself to be as who I am as my mind. I bet that everyone can relate to identifying oneself to one character in a movie, in a book, or with some artist and even emulate the way they lived their lives or trying to mimic ‘how they got to make it’ in the world. Another example of this manufacturing of culture is how suddenly certain things would become available and so ‘openly’ talked about in the mainstream like with the hippie movement and psychotropic drugs, sexual openness, the apparent female empowerment and the tune in-drop out ‘living’ mode which gave another step toward the new age movement. Little did I know there was nothing really ‘special’ about that in the sense of human consciousness suddenly ‘evolving’ or us finding some kind of ‘gate’ to the heavens lol, but instead it is about seeing how these were specific experiments conducted by the CIA to precisely get an entire generation interested on drugs, spirituality and the ‘unseen’ as well as feeding addictions rather than ever getting closer to finding out real ways to make of our lives in this world-system better, such as politics or becoming familiarized with the ways the money system operates, who decides how we conduct our social-programs, why do we we even limit ourselves in our economic systems and so forth.

     

     art-should-be

     

     

    There have been many, many things that have suddenly become a point of focus and attention in our lives, because it is constantly talked about of and/or advertised and so we diminish ourselves to be receptors and regurgitate what we watch on mainstream media, and then ponder why ‘everyone’s talking about…..’ similar topics. Well, there’s no magic in that. I made the experiment myself some years ago when I deliberately would not watch anything about pop culture, I didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was until late 2010 and dared to listen to the music, but before that I only got to know of the name and person through the covers of magazines that I would see while making a line in the supermarkets in South Africa. So, it is possible to be ‘out of the loop’ of course if you step outside of mainstream TV, radio and not visit such pop culture websites. However because right now we are so plugged into everything that is constant ‘news’ and celebritism, you get to know of these individuals whether you like it or not, it’s just all over and one can ignore it, but you can’t avoid seeing the pictures everywhere. So this is how we move ourselves en masse to keep enticing  ourselves to upscale our own obsessions and diversions from ever considering what it is that our lives would be without such entertainment? Maybe we would start actually focusing on why we have to constantly suffer, strive and really exist as slaves that only worry about money and fearing to lose our jobs.

     

    It is essential to get ourselves out of this survival mode if we want to ever get to a point of providing to each other a dignified living, and most of the time we rather have a joystick between our hands or hypnotize ourselves with Netflix marathons rather than taking some of the multiple sources in the internet and start scratching the surface to understand why do we live in such a dog-eat-dog world? How have we created this nature of the system? What can we do about it? Which would in fact then be us realizing that politics IS what should have always been part of our culture, it IS what should have always formed part of our essential education: to realize each one of us has the power to create oneself and as such direct our reality in a way that is beneficial for all.

    So, by saying this we can already see that we have been ‘living’ in a deliberately concealed or fabricated version of our reality to precisely Not dig into these topics, to Not see behind the glitter and glam that we are constantly fed with by the surreal lives portrayed on television.  So, this all indicates to myself that as I now see, realize and understand with more clarity than ever before, it is my responsibility as a human being, as part of this creation and part of the problem to support myself and be a point of support for others that also want to start taking the veil off of their eyes. This is the real apocalypse time, the time of revealing to ourselves all the lies we have bought and sold as ‘our culture’ for example, and how it is this very ‘culture’ that has become the very virus we all get infected with by getting high on the experiences we choose to get from it, getting lost in the fantasy realm of the fictions that serve for multiple purposes leading to a greater distraction and diversion from ever considering doing something more substantial to really change the world.

     

    It is so true to say that the real revolution won’t be televised, and everything that once was ‘revolutionary’ or ‘alternative’ becomes mainstream and so gets sucked into the system again, nor do I mean the type of revolution with guns, protests and machetes – but the revolution of who we are as our minds. So, I do not actually oppose getting mainstream if these ideas proposed here start becoming the usual awareness of how this world really operates; in fact, the more and more we start collectively seeing this, the more and more difficult it will be to buy just any lie, to fall for the same Hollywood crap we are sold in order to upgrade and instill ‘new ideas’ of what we are meant to be thinking about now. There’s nothing new really, we have reached the end of ‘creativity’ and it is now the time to start creating a New Living Culture of Life, one where we make of self-responsibility a necessity to coexist in dignity, a culture of principles where we can support each other to live and stop losing ourselves in emotional mindfucks and enhancing our obsessions.

    Our human nature has never certainly been benevolent, but praising its malevolence will only get us further down the hole. So if I see this, if you see this: it is us that have to change how culture is created nowadays. And how to do this? You may ask, well, it’s not to merely ‘change’ what is created, but changing ourselves, changing who we are as the creators and participants in this reality which will determine the nature of our creations, that’s the real birthing as life creative process we’re talking about here, and I want YOU to join us in it.

     

     

     

    I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all aspects of what I had called ‘culture’ as a way to ennoble ourselves as human beings was in fact nothing else but the show off of our very core programming, all based on personalities that were in fact also used to give continuation to certain ‘phases’ in our own mind control or self-awareness diversions such as books, music, films that I once believed were a ‘reflection’ of ourselves –  and they are – however they also were in fact great instruments of conditioning and imprinting of certain behaviors and ways of looking at the world to the point where every person that has had contact with this ‘culture’ of watching movies or reading books or ‘admiring’ artists has had that point of self-identification toward them as if they represented something noble in fact to copy or integrate as a role model or something to aspire to – which might be in certain cases – but in my own experience this is how I learned to be comfortable with violence, decay and pushing the boundaries of what I would deem as ‘acceptable’ based on the idea that the more the envelope was being pushed within me, the more ‘in’ or ‘Avant-garde’ I could become myself, which is nothing else but just having pushed myself to make even the most hideous things ‘acceptable’ and part of subcultures which I did had a reticence to accept as ‘normal’ yet, because of seeing the amount of people that would like certain kind of images or personalities or so called paraphilias, then I believed that we had to embrace our ‘evil’ or our ‘dark side,’ and all of this knowing within myself that it wasn’t really ‘okay’ but because it is part of our society then, I made it ok on purpose so as to not seem ‘out of the loop’ with what my ‘culture’ seemed to be moving on to.

     

    Something that I begun noticing from the time that I began watching cable TV which is 20 years ago, is that at least in something like MTV everything started becoming more and more outrageous to the point of scandalous and plain degenerated, however it was made ‘cool’ because of the idea of ‘art’ and ‘avant-garde’ and post-modernism and all of these tags that I actually believed were pretty much ‘in tune’ with what we are witnessing in our societies, not realizing that within looking at what was first the chicken or the egg, they simply represented more ways to continue ‘shocking’ ourselves and accepting violence, depravation, sexual morbidity, the lack of any values as something that was part of ‘my generation’ and so actually beginning to also see myself as part of that ‘lostness’ that was portrayed everywhere and the lostness that sought to get high, to have sex, to ‘live life’ through alcohol and feeling like there is no way out in this life other than becoming a junky or ultimately commit suicide as it was staged to be seen from some of our generation’s pop-culture heroes like Kurt Cobain  – I mean all of these personality traits somehow I felt Identified with it to the point wherein you can look at my book collection, and a great amount of them will have the topic of drugs, dharma bums, of spiritual outcasts, off-griders, shockers like Miller, Burroughs, Ellis, Bukowski and the usual Sartre just to make myself push my own boundaries. No matter how much they seemed to ‘tell the truth’ it could also be them supporting these personalities and making them ‘known’ to everyone else as ‘how the youth is’ which is a double way to portray reality and reinforce the same patterns/behaviors/traits which are not necessarily self-supportive. I didn’t find any ‘truth’ or practical self-supportive views on life in them – the same as with Coupland or Palahniuk’s book through which I would rather confirm my supposed state of ‘outcastism’ I caged myself in, no matter how much I enjoyed them, it was all just programming reinforcement – all of it just served as sugar for my personalities, to upgrade them and upgrade the addiction.

    “Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.”
    Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto

     

    There you go, our ‘truths’ made quotes.

     

     

    Here’s to my process of self-debrainwashing:

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever define myself according to the characters I enjoyed in books, the artists and their attitudes such as standing ‘against the system’ while actually denigrating themselves to a low-lifestyle just to ‘not depend on a government’ for example, which is just the same mentality of ‘the dreamers’ and the people that so-called could stand ‘free’ or ‘be the resistance’ and ‘never fit in’ through creating art, without realizing that this mentality of ‘the outcasts’ – of which I read several books on – the ‘rebels,’ the ‘anti-system’ musicians, the depressive mentalities that I became so engulfed in to the point where I missed my own life while just becoming addicted to feeling ‘down’ wherein I have found it difficult to allow myself to enjoy myself, just because of how much I reinforced my pessimism, my gloomy view on life based on the types of preferences that I developed as a child from age 7 and on, within the idea that this was the ‘cool stuff’ that I had to make myself like that ‘fringe’ side of reality just because I initially would be shocked by it to the point wherein I would go from the fear/shock to the attraction and then integration of it as part of ‘who I am.’ In this I was aware how I went ‘pushing my own envelope’ for the purpose of being special, being unique since people my age as my peers weren’t ‘into the stuff’ that I was into back then, which made me feel that I could see beyond the happy-go-lucky mentality and that somehow the dark and mysterious was ‘more real,’ which in a way it is just defining myself according to the good/bad essential separation mentality in which we have caged ourselves throughout ages, to always be in conflict with one another and within ourselves.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was being ‘true to myself’ by being a rather pessimist person and with an obscure view on life based on what I saw was also ‘con-firmed’ by others like writers, musicians, filmmakers that I believed could ‘understand me’ but in fact we were all just acting out on our emotions and feelings and not really doing anything else other than what we were meant to do, such as feeling helpless to do anything for our lives and world, following our preprogrammed personalities while using ‘culture’ as a way to justify our copy-paste of ‘trends,’ personalities, ideas, beliefs, preferences and then! Even dare to create relationships based on these preferences, which is something I did and that I consider many people do, which is once again only creating relationships and ideas of ourselves based on what has kept the entire ‘show’ running as is without opening up real possibilities for change, because in holding on to this so-called ‘art’ and ‘culture’ I was in fact limiting myself from seeing the actual potential we have as real self-creation, which is then stopping following ‘the leaders’ and ‘trends’ that are manufactured or trying to ‘fit into’ certain personalities, but instead focus on changing the starting point of everything we do/act/speak on, changing our lives from copycats to self-creative individuals without any need for ‘external reinforcement’ to do so.

     

    I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to focus on all ‘the bad’ and that which I believed we refused looking at or realizing as a way to ‘wake us up’ but now, that’s also become part of ‘the norm’ and so developing a kind of ‘resistance’ or immunity to any form of shock, which is why I realize that utilizing images to shock even more is just not doing the work any longer. This is then about developing new ways that involve thinking out of the box as in thinking outside of the morality of the good vs. the bad and start focusing on living principles within our self-creative abilities.

    I realize that in order to create any life-supportive art, the creator itself must walk through this deconstruction process him/herself so that one is deliberately then willing to contribute with one’s words, action to the creation of a world that is best for everyone as our common aim at this moment in our world. And this will imply also the exposure of the fallacies that we have revered as our history, and so forgiving that past fuckup and see it for the propaganda that it was as a creation of ‘the winners’ in the world, and so build a new culture of life that involves self-education, self-improvement through learning more about what it means to live within Self-Honesty and learn how to honor each other as life. This is not ‘uncool’ this is what we have pushed ourselves to see as ‘uncool’ or ‘outdated’ but that’s the key to a genuine change in our mentality and so in our reality.  We need books, we need films, we need music, we need plays, we need visual works that can be tools of support for this process of self-revelation or ‘the revelation’ process which can also expose the art of the past for what it was, what was its purpose, its consequences and so make each other aware that we have collectively used something as culture to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ and not questioning further the type of fascinations or addictions that we simply came to ‘embrace’ as part of our lives as that would make us ‘avant-garde’ or ‘keeping up with our times’ in the illusion of progress, which were in fact fabricated for the purpose of preventing us from actually focusing on that which matters, which is getting to know ourselves, developing self awareness and becoming individuals that can genuinely break the patterns from the past in all aspects of ourselves as there is nothing I can hold any form of respect, devotion or admiration from ‘our culture’ in the past, because we didn’t use it to share with each other how to actually live and become our fullest potential as species.

    I now understand this ‘letting go’ of something that I had wanted to hold on to as part of my self-definition. And I can see that this is part of the ‘programming’ that I had to shed over time which in itself is part of my process in order to not only see it as ‘preprogramming’ but understanding how this culture that I had become fond of was never meant to support ourselves and each other to realize ourselves as life. This is what we have conditioned each other to by our own acceptance and allowance and such, it is now when I decide to understand more about the world-system picture so that I stop revering that which was never meant to be supportive for life.

     

     

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    Support yourself to learn more about the Culture of LIFE:


    404. Deconstructing Culture as Myself

     

    As I continue my self-investigation it seems that realizing the fact that we all have been preprogrammed individuals following a very specific ‘plan’ that involved conditioning ourselves to become a certain role/personality in our minds and never question it,  wasn’t still completely grasped within me when it comes to seeing culture and how it has been specifically designed to support particular agendas that have led to various ‘cultural movements’ that within me I still wanted to believe were attempts of us as human beings trying to ‘break-through’ or ‘break-free’ – lol – but mostly managing to break ourselves further through imprinting certain behaviors, ideas, concepts, morals, ‘world vision’ that became actual distractors in the sense that none of these points would be useful or supportive for a genuine change in this world, but instead it was the patterning and standardization of what we would think, what we would understand as ‘freedom’ and what we would find entertaining or alluring in our lives, which is also containing the ways in which we see/define/categorize and think ourselves and everyone/everything else, which is mind control through the most ‘subtle means’ such as television/media/arts and everything that is usually reached by the average person, even if such person doesn’t go to school for example.

     

    All of this was part of the ‘greater plan’ to be perpetually enslaved to our own constant desire to experience, to be ‘hooked on energy’ so to speak which is what we accepted as our every day living, our every day ‘drive’ and motivation to go to work, do the exact same things every day to earn a living and then come home and be able to relax while getting ‘updated’ on ‘what is going on in our minds’ which is what then becomes part of your passive indoctrination into new fascinations, new obsessions, new desires to consume, body types, new personalities, new things to essentially get ourselves occupied with in our minds which became a self-inflicted way to accept and allow ourselves to dive into complacency of how this system operates, since we mostly came to conclude that ‘As long as I can have my free time to do whatever I like doing to relax and entertain myself and those around me are protected ($),  who cares whatever else is going on in the world?’ – we even have gotten to the point of praising our enslavement by idolizing those that we have accepted and allowed as ‘masters’ in our world and gullibly thinking that we can someday reach/rich ‘that top’… without realizing the system is structured to not allow anyone else to get to such positions, but be constantly reminded ‘they can’ if they just hit the jackpot like stars do nowadays with reality shows, singing contests and whatnot. It’s All around us and no matter if kids are homeschooled, kids will still be having a TV, internet, peers that will simply be also the product of all of this so, we have to establish principles in order to direct ourselves within it and so the younger more impressionable minds too.

     

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    In my case I linking what should have been rather obvious to me from the time that I became more ‘acquainted’ with TV at the age of 7, specifically cable TV and American TV Channels. But also from the books that I read throughout my teenage years, I was still holding on to them and the writers as proof of what I believed was an attempt of us to ‘breakthrough’ or ‘step out of the system’ when it comes to human creativity and other creations like music, fine arts, films – all of the ‘marvels’ of the world that I once saw myself being ‘inspired by’ in order to overcome my own inner conflict which was in fact first of all created by everything that I began watching on TV as I had no actual ‘worries’ in my life as such. I can say I am a genuine product of spending childhood watching MTV for example. So, I’ve been finding out how it is that these ‘artists’ were in fact used or let’s place it in a more tangible way: their own creativity was rather used in order to further certain agendas related to ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to instilling ‘new’ ideas, personalities, fantasies, personalities, ‘ideologies’ and even addictions within people, all of it paid with what is called fame and fortune wrapped in the package of ‘celebritism’ or artistic personalities or eccentrics that portrayed the apparent ‘perfect ways’ to ‘escape the system’ – to present the illusion of ‘yes, anyone can get to the top!’ or ‘Anyone can beat the system and escape!’  and bam! There I went, right into it as far as I could when I was into aiming at doing/becoming like certain personalities and doing what they did and living their life.

     

    Now within this there’s also a point to consider how it is not only some evil cabal’s plan to complete their ‘great work’ and have all these stereotypes, morals, behaviors, ideas being imprinted in everyone’s minds through manufacturing culture and all of us believing that artistic manifestations were evidence of ‘man’s evolution’ – which in essence as such, evolution is just consciousness upgrading itself, which means there’s no real Self-Awareness in it, just new ‘trends’ that could be sold to people in an attempt to fulfill the constant desire to progress, to advance, to ‘become better’ – lol – not realizing we haven’t ‘evolved’ an iota from the moment of our creation, only the scenarios have changed and we have seen our ‘technology’ create the illusion that we have changed, but we haven’t, at all.

     So this is to understand that the history we have been taught in schools of course is taught by the winners, those that have created the wars and have perpetuated the idea of how a god would choose who the monarchs would be, and so forth – all of it which was usually ‘backed’ by the evidence of artistic creations used as another alibi to confirm certain theories of our evolution. But in reality, a lot of it has been transfixed in order to suit certain theories to, once again, advance certain notions of evolution, of real change and human refinement, simply to continue justifying what we have as ‘arts’ today which have mostly become part of the dumbification or downgrading of ourselves as individuals in order to promote carelessness, apathy, destruction, chaos, mental disorders, the destruction of any value or principle but only shock and disturb to such an extent that it becomes a ‘norm’ nowadays in what we call our entertainment, which is really entrainment.

    Once we get to know of the actual history – through currently non-institutionalized sources of course – of how our culture has been engineered as a necessary tool of propaganda to back the ‘story’ of ‘how things are/how they have been’ and paving the way to ‘how things will be’ there is no doubt that we are continuing to lock ourselves in these ideals based on what we get/absorb from the media/environment around us, which is nothing else but the same mind patterns made ‘enjoyable’ just like junk food that one can get addicted to: it tastes good, you then crave for it but nevermind really getting to know about the lack of nutritional content.  In essence our culture has become the glorification and legitimization of ‘our human nature’ as ‘who we are as the mind,’ separated from reality into the fictional stories that we could spend our entire lifetime creating of ourselves as personalities, as ‘characters’ in our own ‘movie’ that we actually begun thinking we had to create as ‘our lives’ and ‘our relationships.’ It’s been very interesting to me to see my own brainwashing and how my own relationships, my own thoughts/ideas/fixations were all imprints that I took from music, music videos, books, TV shows and essentially immersing myself in a culture that I wanted to belong to at the time – American Culture – because of loathing ‘my own culture’ which is what I had then perceived as the low-life Mexican Culture and as such never realizing I was actually then going to be my own reference as to ‘who one becomes’ when continually watching American TV, which I did for the most part from age 7 till probably 15-16 or so.

     

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    CULTure is the perfect way to entrain ourselves into consciousness, ‘what everyone is thinking about’ and ‘what’s talked about’ which comes in the form of our news, TV shows, movies, music, etc. containing components as behaviors, personalities, thinking patterns, fashion, attitudes, morals, obsessions, addictions, etc. – all of it having ‘profitable’ purposes but goes beyond that and into the necessary role of providing the ‘circus for the masses’ to ensure that this time, the Holy Roman Empire does not fall for not giving enough bread and circus to the people. One only has to have a look around us and see that it’s easier to talk to someone about a TV show than politics or economics; it’s easier to strike a conversation with someone about a movie than it is to discuss our emotionally driven tendencies to buy products as way to compensate for some kind of ‘emotional need.’ Culture has always been the way to perpetuate a mindset, a way to legitimize ‘how life is lived’ and ‘how things are done,’ what is ‘cool’ and what is not, which essentially consolidates our usually used as an excuse to not change ‘human nature’ – culture is its own PR campaign that we are then taught in schools as part of our history and ‘ethics’ so that we are reminded that ‘there’s ALWAYS been someone at the top of the food chain, there’s ALWAYS been slaves that are disempowered, deal with it, try to always aim at the top and enjoy the show while it lasts.’

    Currently if one cannot see the actual agendas for further depravity, lack – because they were never ‘lost’ of any living principles and the ‘Do as Thou Wilt’ mentality to give continuation to our ‘age old’ culture, one must be very, very brainwashed – not to worry though, it’s not too late yet. Nowadays sexual depravity is the ‘norm’ when it comes to the idea of ‘sexual liberation’ and female empowerment means stripping down in front of crowds and being praised by millions as some kind of ‘queen.’ Another example is how within our ingrained desire to ‘feel free’ the idea of ‘the rebel’ or the ‘anti-system’ became part of the social engineering process to always contain and control any form of actual break-through within individuals, which is the predictable way of acting if you see that something is ‘not right’ and your are being abused, you then aim and attempt to ‘break free’ from the oppressor by opposing, judging, antagonizing and denying it, revolting against it which are all the ‘anti’ movements that have become part of the systematic and predictable antithesis processes to actually Contain the people within such stance/roles and behaviors for which ‘the system’ as we have all co-created it was always ready to thrown back some ‘solution’/synthesis to further control. It’s just following what Lenin said in the lines of If you want to control the opposition, take the head of it, and you can see that all ‘leaders’ and role models in arts and so-called revolutionary people have been also part of perpetuating the same status quo, even if they were not aware of.

     

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    To prove this point in terms of realizing how our culture has not been one that supports life, I bet that you have most likely never seen a movie pointing out how life is not about participating in our own mind as thoughts, emotions or feelings… or becoming self-responsible, or empowering each other to become the actual directors of our lives, of how poverty could be eradicated if we all partake in political solutions – not just one lucky good-doer leader here and there – not at all, instead we create the opposite and as such, it becomes what occupies our mind at a conscious level, it’s what suits our ‘human nature’ which is that of blame, vengeance, victimization…  just look at V for Vendetta that became the brainwashing mechanism for everyone at Occupy Wall street believing they had some kind of ‘power’ to oust ‘the bankers’ while seeking revenge – lol, fascinating how MOVIES are in fact dictating how we even ‘revolt’ nowadays, isn’t it? Not to mention the masks that became part of protests since 2011 and specifically the ‘anonymous movement’ are copyrighted to Time Warner, thank you for your contribution to one of the five top corporations that run the media in this world – wink, wink. How have we accepted and allowed to become SO predictable and SO Brainwashed and still fall for it? Easy, the same culture has become the only ‘soup of thoughts’ we all swim in.

     

     

    This is precisely WHY ‘going against the system’ is just becoming the predictable pattern within the foreseeable attempts to ‘break free’ from our minds which is just playing the role of becoming the dark pole to the white counterpart or ‘going in the opposite direction,’ confirming our ‘dialectic’ predictable mentality that was also part of what ‘great philosophers’ left on Earth…  it is really only giving a name to the mechanisms in which we operate in our own minds – no big discovery, only making visible what we already exist as in our polarity mind-constructs of good and bad, right and wrongs, positive and negatives caging ourselves into oblivion within Energy and the illusion of ‘breaking free’ – all of it being the ‘building blocks of the illusion’ that we can call culture formed by the massive distribution and repetition of ideologies, images, sounds = all created in and as the image and likeness of who we are as the mind and its mechanisms, hence the importance of knowing thyself and becoming Aware of what one thinks, what principles one lives by, how we created our personality, what are our goals in life and where did we take those ideals from? Why do we dress a particular way? Why do we like a particular set of movies? Why do we Feel differently toward things, people, places, music …. There are so many theories and attempts to debunk the origin of our culture and all I can remember from it is that as human history it ends up when ‘hitting a wall’ where no man has gone beyond – before 2006 – and attributing everything to god or a creator and as such, for example seeing the origin of art as having some kind of magical-religious purposes…. Oh yes, that means core programming for enslavement within the idea of ‘higher someone’ dictating everything we do and because we could not understand it, we came to draw it or paint it or sculpt it so that it would later on become our way to solidify the same plot of what we have come to accept and allow as ‘how things have always been,’ and even learned how to revere it as well! That is us at the dawn of our species, and that is still us at the time as well. No evolution has taken place whatsoever.

     

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    Coming back to my own case here, it’s cool and rather necessary for me to debunk what I see I had wanted to hold on to as some kind of belief in ‘human creativity spark’ or a bit of ‘romanticism’ when It comes to human expression and sure, the works and creations themselves can still be very well done, but it’s definitely not something ‘special’ or as an attempt to ‘break through’ some kind of programming – lol –  it’s rather the opposite. Once one starts seeing and understanding the ‘big picture’ and how these personalities or built-up stars play a role within the whole scheme and get to understand who paid them, for what purpose, within the context of which agenda, any remains of romanticism or ‘out of the box’ hopes upon artists just goes down to the drain as it should, because it was never ‘real’ anyways, it was never intended to honor and support life, so why praising something or someone that I personally only used to confirm my own existence as a mind consciousness system that absorbed all of this knowledge and information to further myself down my own mythological rabbit whole? It’s pointless.

    To me this is a bit ‘late’ to realize in my process with such clarity, but better later than ever breaking through yet another ‘layer’ within the experiences, ideals and fascinations held within me as part of ‘my personality’ created in the image and likeness of the illusion; what I mean by ‘illusion’ are my experiences, my own responses toward certain artists, books, films, arts in general which means, how I FEEL and how I would See myself in relation to ‘what is of this world’ and what ‘suit’ I wore most of the time to be in it. I also see that I can apply this same realization to any other point or aspect in reality toward which I had held some ‘special value’ upon and instead see it  within self-awareness for what it physically is,  realizing that there’s no ‘grandeur’ in anything in this reality at the moment that I could genuinely ‘praise,’ because everything that we’ve ever done as humanity and our ‘culture’ specifically has been engineered within the context of our preprogrammed reality, of revering the mind and system that it is in our outside world – but never life which is what I actually ended up doing for myself: I found ‘my place’ in the world in a comfortable cage where – If I had continued down my ‘preprogrammed path’ – I could not at all have affected real change, because arts as I now see, in order to become really ‘famous’ and revered, you cannot genuinely destabilize the status quo, and so all the people I admired and I believed made some advancements really only landed themselves in jails or ended up as drug addicts, alcoholics, committed suicide or fell for the path of fame and glory as it is still apparently ‘too hard to refuse’ when you can sign a pact with the devil to get everything you want and ‘make it’ in this dog-eat-dog world. We have all become preys of our own emotions, feelings, desires and wants, yet we believe that that is the key to a fulfilling life, to ‘get it all’ when it is in fact that way in which we are imprisoning us all at the moment, disregarding the fact that if I take more for me, I am in fact leaving another without any.

    This is a lengthy point to me as I chose to and wanted to become part of culture as a creator of it, so I chose to study a career dubbed as ‘creator of culture’ which is arts, visual arts and for the most part I’ve seen how ‘arts’ in general are being used as the circus to entertain, to further decay, to instill new ‘ideologies’ and ideas with which we most likely end up much worse that we already are doing in our overall human decay we’re living in. This too can be changed and I see this IS the point I can certainly do not only for myself, but for anyone else that’s realizing the same propaganda-role that art has taken throughout our known history of it.

     

    So, this is not over yet, it’s only just begun. I would actually challenge and/or suggest to you reading this to look at which character either from a film or book, what artist you idolized or ‘wanted to emulate’ for some reason and why, what kind of ideology from a certain movie or series you could ‘identify’ with and decided to make it your own by becoming/acting/speaking/wanting to look like someone you saw on the TV, a film, a book character, an artist, etc. The more and more we start considering the seemingly subtle ways in which our behavior and what we claimed to be ‘our own personality’ has been influenced by the media and entertainment we participate on a constant basis, the more we will be able to realize to what extent we are STILL accepting and allowing the continuation of the problems in this world by realizing that our current culture is not one of self-support and honoring each other as life, as equals – but instead we are using it to perpetuate and upgrade our own alienation from the matters that should have always been part of our culture, which begins with self-awareness of who we are in ourselves as our mind and How we are contributing to the creation or destruction of our reality with the ways we act, speak, think within our lives and toward others.

     

    This will continue …

     

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    Are you mind controlled? Test yourself here:


    403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

    I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

    There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

    Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

    So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

     

    I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

    Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

     

    So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

    This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

     

    So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

     

     

    Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

     

    I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

    I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

     

    I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

     

    I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

     

    I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

     

    I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

     

    I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

     

    I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

     

    I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

     

    I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

    So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

     

    I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

     

    So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

     

    7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

    The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

     

     

    To learn more about taking responsibility for one’s mind, one’s reactions, please visit the following sites and join us in our endeavor too:


    402. Who am I within Abuse?

    I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

    Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

     

    Facing the Evil of OUrselves

     

     

    Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

    Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

     

    Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

     

    We do it to ourselves

     

    Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

    So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

     

    Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

    abuse
    1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
    2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
    3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

    1    the improper use of something.
    2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
    3    insulting and offensive language.

     

    I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

     

    God won't save the queen now

     

     

    Can I imagine a world without abuse?

    It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

     

    When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

     

    In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

     

    My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

    My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

     

    I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

     

    Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

     

    In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

    I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

    As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

    I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

    In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

     

    God Bless the Child

     

    It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

    So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

     

     

    Self Forgiveness:

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

    I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

    I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

    I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

     

    I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

    I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

     

    Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

    I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

    I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

    I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

    I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

     

    I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

    I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

    I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

     

    Supportive Material:

     

    1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

    2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

    5. Deer Human

     

    Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

     

     

     

     


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