Category Archives: Desteni

412. How Does Writing Affect Change in this World?

How is it that through me writing I can affect in changing the world? This is a seemingly big question but it does have rather simple considerations to better understand why is it that world change begins with self-change. First of all is about coming to  understand and realize that self-change begins with understanding who one is as the mind. How does this operate?  

 

What we see outside as the ‘mess of the world’ and all of the current wars, crisis, famine, poverty, disrespect and dishonor to one another is our creation.  How do we create this? Well, we are all participating in the world and we are all collectively tacitly agreeing that the misery, pain, suffering is just ‘what we agreed to,’ and so justify it with constructs like nations, money systems, races, religious constructs of all kinds including the religion of self as the ‘who I am’ as a personality compared to this/that person. What happens is that when we divide/split ourselves in these constructs, we become subject to what we know, are told, get taught which is all knowledge and information in our own mind. We then define ourselves entirely by what we learn throughout our living years and integrate it within ourselves as ‘how things are’ and not question it because ‘well it’s all that I’ve ever been/done so why should I even question it’? which includes thinking, feeling, becoming emotional, doing what our parents and authorities tell us we should do and so, by not questioning ourselves in our minds, we then of course by default do not question the world around us – and vice versa. In my case first came the questioning of the world, misery, problems around me and ‘out there in the world’ and later on questioning myself as the source and origin of this mess-world we have created.

 

What’s the role of writing oneself in beginning to understand the mess of this world as our creation?

Through writing we start seeing ourselves as words, through that we start developing our self-awareness which means getting to see ourselves beyond the veil of who we are as the mind, as a personality, as part of a particular culture, religion, education, family, political affiliation, preference or anything else that we’ve defined as ‘who we are’ and instead start questioning all of these ideas of ‘who I am’ as a first point of existential self-assessment. Otherwise, I mean, how can one ever get to a point of understanding about ‘the mess of this world’ if we see it as some kind of ‘amorphous mess created outside of ourselves’? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Where’s our role in it then? Whose victims would we then pose as if we believed we had ‘no say’ in how the world works? Absolute abdication of self-responsibility is what happens when we make ourselves subject to these ideas where one sees the problem ‘outside of oneself’ which is how through writing one starts understanding that the problem, the friction and conflict is derived from one’s participation in the mind, in one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions and living that out in the world as ‘our ways of coexisting/dealing with one another in the world’ which is then entirely mind based = not considering how we affect one another, what is involved in the decisions we make, who gets benefited and harmed by the tacit agreements we have as society.

Another aspect is that we tend to want to change ourselves/the world in quantum time/in one go, just because the water is ‘up to our necks’ which means one is having the consequences at the front door or already well into it and so there comes a desperation, an emotional experience attached to such consequence in a way that the ‘desire for change’ becomes just that, a yearning and fueling desire which is nothing else but an energetic experience that in the end amounts to anything, as an energetic experience in the mind doesn’t support us to change in itself, however we can use such mind experience to rather question ourselves about it: why does this sadness exist within me about how the world system operate? Are my emotions about the conflicts/wars going to create peace? Is my anger toward ‘the powers that be’ going to make any difference in how our society is hierarchically structured? And at the same time the other starting point can come through: does writing about myself, my mind patterns and habits going to amount to any form of change in this world? And within this I would say that there is no certainty other than the certainty we can give to ourselves that we are in fact, as a first point, actually beginning to question ourselves and introspect as to why and how the problems in this world are created based on the ways we think, act and speak as human beings, which are nothing else but broad categories to name our fears, desires, wants, obsessions, insecurities, value/worth perceptions, judgments, etc. All of this is what becomes the fabric of the world system as ‘the mess’ we believe we are separated from, which we are not as it is our day to day participation in this world as people in our minds that generate then the nature of the ‘world system’ which we tend to see ‘outside’ of ourselves or ‘too big’ to change.

 

 

Then, how will one’s writing process eventually become a solution for people starving, suffering and how do ‘I’ walking this written process amount to any of such world-solutions that are very needed?

 

Well, writing in itself as in ‘just writing’ is not a solution to it and there is a whole lot to understand as to how we have come to create the world system in the same mechanisms that we function as at a mind level. Writing enables us to identify how we operate within and without of ourselves, it assists in tracing the patterns and becoming aware of our responsibility to it. An example is getting to understand how we have come to agree to believe that wealth and poverty are acceptable, which is a belief within ourselves. It’s about investigating how we have kept countries in deliberate poverty and some others as deliberate royals in order to maintain the disparity going as the ‘legit’ reasons for poverty and wealth to exist and the ever present inequality. Poverty is the outflow of us not considering all beings as equally deserving the right to live in dignity and so believing that some countries/nations/corporations are meant to have ‘more power’ because (list/name justifications here) and within that, one falls into the trap to justify the existence of poverty and abuse with such reasons/justifications of why it ‘makes sense’ apparently to have rich and poor to such extremes in this world. Some of the reasons for poverty being that then, there will always be sufficient people living in survival mode that will be willing to work at no matter what ‘rate’ to get money to live and so in turn, serve the minority that has most of the power and control – money – to pay for it. In this, can’t we see that the reasons/excuses/justifications are exactly the same ones we have at an individual level when it comes to justifying one’s personal interests such as greed, not wanting to take self responsibility or wanting either a leader or a servant to do things for us? Same arguments apply, it’s our greed and self interest what drives this reality around, It’s who we are/what we accept in our minds that which exists as ‘how the system operates.’ Another example here: what is money if not a mind construct, an ‘agreement’ that we’ve come to place our blinding faith and word into to make it real – without such agreement and belief into it: money would be no different to the toy paper money that I used to play with as a child.

So what is the principle standing behind money? A belief in value – and what is a belief but a mind construct, a belief system, a set of accepted knowledge and information we impose onto reality, that we become it/embody it and stand in as the actual ‘living force’ of this entire mess; we are the ones that make it ‘functional’ through the ways we think, act and speak without consideration of how we affect each other’s lives, environments and minds with the ways in which we tacitly agree to participate in this society as a whole. And this is how through writing and understanding how our own programming, our own ‘environmental influence’ shapes how we behave, the decisions we make, the starting point of our decisions and how we interact with one another we come to realize that the unfortunate – but self-created – outflow of events as all the abuse in this world is actually nothing else but an outflow of who we are/what we have become ourselves in the mind: our acceptances and blind allowances. The most common example is once again money: one would not be able to ‘make it real’ if it wasn’t by a series of mind constructs, beliefs, ideas, perceptions, assumptions, indoctrination that we have come to assume as ‘how things operate.’

This is how when looking at a particular problem and investigating its causes, invariably, no matter which aspect of this reality you take into investigation as part of the world system, it will be able to be traced and brought back to self, to who we are as the mind, which is why this process of change is multi-dimensional, at all the various levels in which we have layered our reality.

 

 

Imagine you have a very neat white room with various essential objects to make it into a definition of a bedroom: bed, night table, a lamp, a dresser to name a few ‘essentials’ so to speak. But, what happens when one starts adding more and more decoration and furniture over time, from all the various preferences of the people living in it throughout the years, along with layers of paint, deterioration that comes with use, all the various complete overhauls of the space’s purpose etc. Of course this room will end up containing all those changes throughout space and time accumulated as layers of ‘time’ according to all the people that have used that bedroom/space.  So, getting it back to that initial pristine white room with the essentials to function will take a while, a cleaning/dismantling process within the consideration that just ‘destroying’ the room is not an option. The same applies for ourselves as our individual and global process: it will most certainly take a long time to do the changes we want to see or envision can be implemented in this world and in our personal lives. However why waiting for such ‘ideal’ if we know beforehand that ideals don’t come or appear as some kind of ‘spontaneous creation’: things/events/circumstances are always directed, there’s someone’s effort and intellect placed into it, and that’s where we go back to realizing that it is us that create such ‘global decay’ over time, because the Earth in itself was quite fine managing itself – so the ‘mess’ we perceive of this world as a separate point from ourselves, is in fact a life and a deception that we have to become self-honest about: we’ve created it ourselves and so it’s about becoming self-honest to be able to take self-responsibility here.  

Back to the example of the bedroom over time: when one is absorbed in the mind, we tend to not see the connection between the mess of the room we have around us as our environment and our direct participation in having actually turned that room into the mess it is, and not only ‘us’ but also containing the previous inhabitant’s traces and past decorations/use and deterioration of the place – this is exactly what we have inherited as this world and what we currently live as in our own bodies and lives. So we know that it won’t be an ‘easy step’ to simply try and ignore our own participation in the creation of this mess and merely focus on being depressed, sad, angry or frustrated about the mess we see around us as that messy room. Why not instead dedicating ourselves to go dismantling the mess point by point, layer by layer of dust, deterioration, getting things sorted back into their place, getting rid of other things that are no longer required, doing the necessary reparation work, replacing any parts/components that have been overtly used and so essentially take the time, space and actual process to see how one can best improve one’s room according to also assessing the furniture/items you can still keep/use, some others that you can use as foundation to build something else with them that is more reliable/sturdy and with a renewed purpose. The same applies to our process in our minds: it’s about being able to assess one’s mind, personality, one’s participation in this world within such personality and see if what I am living/doing is in fact best for all, if what ‘moves’ us every day is only self-interest or if we have integrated some principles in our lives – therefore we can also become creative in such process as well, realizing our physical limitations in terms of money/space/time to create something, but definitely to not die merely ‘trying’ to change or to get to some developments, but simply make it our purpose of living: to get to live to our fullest potential as individuals and as a collective, humanity.  

 

Eventually, as more and more people start realizing that the mess, the problems, the perceived lack, crisis and problem in this world originate at a mind/individual level, by all the behaviors, ideologies, ways of interacting, what we accept and allow, thinking, how we feel about ourselves and each other becoming our starting point of ‘who we are’ then we can certainly start ‘connecting the dots’ or ‘filling in the gaps’ to see that the problem we would vastly usually see as something ‘separate from ourselves’ and believing ourselves to be ‘helpless to change,’ will be so no more – why? Because then one understands and comes to realize that things like sadness, helplessness, worry, fear, anger exist as an emotional experience that we blind ourselves from actually physically assessing what is and would be possible to change in this world, how can we correct or align things that are currently not working at an individual and collective level in the first place. That is also possible when one understands through writing out one’s personal process of self-investigating one’s mind that becoming sad, angry, frustrated at ‘the problems in the world’ or at seeing wars, poor people, hungry people, seeing other humans  as ‘the bad guys’ will not solve the problem, but merely reinforce the idea that we are the ‘victims’ as in ‘this is being done To us’ without realizing that we are in fact the victims of our own personal experience as emotions about it, which in the end stands as an obstacle to genuinely change -  or a comfortable lie/blindness as a justification to not change.

 

So in essence, does writing have an impact on the world around us?

Only writing in itself will not. Writing used as the tool of self investigation such as the writing of one’s patterns, behavior, preferences, fears, worries is a method to get to know ourselves and so get to understand how we operate/live, what we have come to accept and allow. Writing can also be something that promotes in itself change, that inspires people to actually start looking within themselves such as what we do here as part of this process of self-awareness and self-honesty, where we start questioning everything that we’ve been and so assess whether what we are, do, what we participate in at an individual or collective level in fact stands ‘the test of time’ which is a saying to point out that the mess is created when we do/act/think in ways that are not best for all, ways that only benefit ourselves and do not consider all parts/people/beings involved. So, this is something that would not be possible to assess if one hadn’t actually begun to write/explore one’s life, motivations, purposes and so take the directive action upon it, to physically start testing out these alignments as part of what we see makes sense to change in one’s life and one’s participation in our everyday living. For this, writing then becomes a ‘self-tracking/self-assessment’ tool so that we can also go understanding how ‘the way the world works’ is primarily a reflection of these same individual patterns we face at an individual level. Then, the world stops being this ‘amorphous mess’ and starts ‘making sense’ from the perspective that we see our direct outflow and consequence created by the way we  live in this world, what we come to ‘agree’ about and how that affects each other’s lives, which includes all living beings on Earth.

 

So, to get to world change, we require to first stop the mess, the continuous conflict and friction within ourselves in our minds and deliberately start aligning ourselves to practically assess in every moment whether what we do/decide to do is self-supportive for oneself and others, using words to script the new foundation of what we see is best to live by, words that benefit myself and everyone else as well. By doing this, one realizes that writing is the workshop process, it is a starting point for self-change. However the changes and solutions to affect world change do require global collective participation, which is how we will only be able to change people’s living conditions around the world when more and more people realize that we create ‘the world’ as a direct reflection of who we are in our minds, and that’s how the process of world change begins with self-change and one by one in our collective decision to structure solutions that place an order to our self-created chaos, we can come to generate solutions that will affect each other’s lives to better them.  This is essentially what self-writing does and from there, one can also start expanding into introspecting about the world system, investigating the sources of the problems and aligning them by our decision to do so, to do and agree what is best for all.

 

Try out the tools of Self-Support such as Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self  Honesty and Self Corrective Application at the online free course DIP Lite : http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

Support for mental disorders - Desteni I Process

 

To learn more about Writing Oneself to Freedom:


409. The Uncomfortable Truth

 

Estamos atados a nuestra mente 07

 

 

One of the reasons why this process cannot be done by ‘one individual alone’ is because we are very prone to creating our comfortable bubble where we believe that ‘nothing is happening, I don’t react, everything’s done, my mind is quiet’ and how else would it be if I remained in my own little world and my own little bubble!’ So that is certainly not walking process. Facing yourself as this world is not only facing ourselves in our own minds or as ‘the world system’ but facing each other as the mind we are and have become.

 

So, here I open up my recent reactions to the exposure of my own truth which is the state of the mind that we all have and how whenever someone dares to ‘show it all’ then I react ‘OH man! how dare that person do that!’ or ‘How can that exist within a person’s mind? which is all backchat that is in fact immediately dodging MY own responsibility to myself, my mind, my judgments instead of immediately reacting to ‘assess’ another’s mind/words/actions/behavior within me as the character of ‘politeness’ or keeping things in order and control, no different actually to how politics operate and I will open up this point of politeness and how it is in fact of course a façade and self-deception that as anything, can be walked through and rather turned into an expression of consideration, instead of a blanket used to cover up that which I ‘don’t want to see/face’ as myself which is essentially just postponing facing the inevitable which is the truth of who we are and have become as our minds, and so to not judge ourselves as the mind, but rather learn how to support ourselves, how to understand ourselves as the mind, how to self-forgive and so walk/live the corrections which is the real direction for self-change required here.

 

The most important thing within this is to realize that taking one’s mind or another’s mind personally is a reaction, it is of the mind and it is only perpetuating the same problem we have co-created because it is like realizing that one participating in one’s mind is like giving fuel to a fire. So, basic point here is also to realize that we’re all in a process and even if one is aware of the tools and ‘knows’ about the principle of self-responsibility, it doesn’t imply that ‘that person is going to take self responsibility’ or ‘is not reacting at all now.’ We are all walking through it and what’s more important: if I react to another and turn it as a point of having my expectations ‘unfulfilled’ it means that there’s a point of expectation that I haven’t really sorted out and a point of reaction toward words/actions that exist in one’s mind behind such ‘disappointment,’ and that because this mind exists within me and everyone, then it is my responsibility to actually take responsibility for it – No more and no less, no matter ‘who’ I believe is triggering an experience within me, I have to be able to stand absolute regardless of what is being said/done either personally or indirectly.

 

I realize that my responsibility does not extend only to ‘myself’ but others as well,  and that’s where I tend to simply think that well, I can ignore the person/situation and not make a fuzz about it – but if the person is already walking a process  and they are already working on themselves to stop the mind, then it is absolutely my responsibility to support another within my possibility and ability to do so,  as that is exactly what I would like and want another to do with myself as well, which is actually what I have lived through these past years of being supported as part of a group walking this process of unveiling the ‘uncomfortable truths’ of ourselves as the mind, that which we have kept secret and ‘veiled’ throughout time.

So here is a self-reminder how everything works in reverse in the mind: we have to be cautious when things seem ‘too stable’ or ‘not much happening’ and instead whenever conflict emerges to be grateful for it as it is unveiling an aspect of myself, of ourselves that we haven’t faced as is the case here.  

 

 

The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

This is the realization that everything that I judge in another exists within me.

 

Character extraction

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Responsibility and taking it All back to self at the individual level.

Based on the usual judgments I have created upon people that I perceive have something ‘wrong’ in them to, for example, be what I have defined as deliberately ‘evil’ or deliberately ‘deceptive’ or deliberately ‘conflictive’ and perceiving myself that ‘I could not stand such individual’ is demonstrating to me one thing only: where and how I have not yet considered such individual as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another within the consideration that if the person is too mind possessed, too conflictive, then I don’t want to have anything to do with the person, which is essentially playing what I had criticized in our society wherein those that were mentally challenging to society and deemed as ‘crazy’ or ‘too out of the loop’ so to speak, were exiled and sent out of the main centers of society, as they actually posed a threat to the order, the ‘system’ in itself which I also conceived as a reason to simply not have to ‘deal with’/walk with and actually learn how to assist and support ourselves as individuals that can be mentally challenging when it comes to how we operate in our minds.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become my own denial as in wanting to not face or excuse myself from having to confront/face a part of me as another individual that exists in fact in each one of us that have a mind, wherein when seeing patterns in another that I believe myself ‘incapable’ of doing or not being able to ‘fathom’ them, I go into a helplessness situation toward that point/person/mind that I am in fact then still reacting to within the belief that ‘ I cannot conceive how that can exist in another/ why they say/do things in such ways’ without realizing that who we all are and have become in our minds is essentially the description of being mind controlled, being schizophrenic as in being separated from each other, from our physical body and have become nothing else but ‘agents’ to consciousness, to the mind which we here understand that it has never existed within the principle and consideration of what is best for all because the starting point and origin of our mind was never meant to support our self-realization of being in fact equals and one in this reality and so

When and as I see myself creating a denial/existing in denial based on how I react to another’s mind based on backchat, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and expectations of ‘how another should act/be by now’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that here I am going into the assumption that people have had to ‘change’ already according to time and process application, without realizing that me reacting to another’s mind possession or patterns is in fact indicating my own patterns, my own reactions that I still have to deal with/walk through which is the whole point here. I realize that it is not about ‘the other person’ as it is all about myself, my own reactions to words/patterns/behaviors that exist within each one of us as mind consciousness systems that even if we know ‘how to support ourselves’ with self-supportive tools, I am here being the proof that going into denial, helplessness, disbelief, disappointment about others is really only about myself that am still reacting to people’s minds, processes and experiences.

 

I commit myself to when facing a person that is in a particular mindset that I have defined as ‘tough’ or ‘challenging’ that I then place myself in the position of understanding which is a practical humbleness that I have to practice wherein instead of looking for someone else to ‘take the ball’ I rather read/hear the person’s words and see how can I best assist and support myself to understand the person and so be able to in turn support another within  placing myself in another’s shoes so to speak – which practically means living humbleness without expectations of ‘what the person should already know by now’ as we have proven ourselves as human beings that ‘lessons learned’ have come and gone and we have repeated the exact same mistakes, which shows then to what extent I have to remind myself that it isn’t as ‘easy’ to change or to expect change from others instead of first working with myself to ensure that I am in fact that point of change and the becomes the living example of how it is possible to walk with and support another as myself, regardless of ‘who’ that another is, ‘what’ they say or how they present themselves as I then recognize and realize at all times that ‘that another person is myself too.’ And this is the essential aspect of facing our equality: nothing of what exists in another is really ‘separate’ from myself, and so

I commit myself to live by the principle of really stopping any expectation upon another, any idea of ‘how another should be/act like/live by now’ within ideas, beliefs or perceptions of who I believe another to be – and instead focus on myself, on actually ensuring that I am not immediately diverting my attention to ‘another’ but to first and foremost focus on myself as it would be kind of pointless to try and ‘support another’ if I am reacting even in the most subtle ways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see my reaction as ‘disappointment’ but I realize that this would be like wearing a ‘good doer’ suit wherein it is  perceived as  more ‘benevolent’ to believe I experience disappointment upon myself and others upon who I created expectations about ‘who they are’ but  instead I recognize the ‘disappointment’ as the façade to create a form of victimization, because it’s seen with a ‘better light’ at the eyes of others, but in fact it was just an experience of giving  up, not knowing what to do/how to solve situations and problems wherein I then go into the experience of ‘I do not know what to do/what else to say’ and in doing so, rendering the situation, the person simply ‘gone’ and ‘obsolete’ – which is no different, once again to how we treat mentally ill people in our society, wherein because don’t take the time to walk with them, we simply locked them out, treat them as schizophrenics, paranoids with dissociative personalities and never have in fact taken the time to investigate what they represent as a part of ourselves, as the mind and so to not judge the person as the actual physical living flesh they are, but to simply learn to observe, to recognize the mind for what it is, and so be able to develop ways to assist and support oneself and others to best be able to walk through our mind and to always stick to principle instead of allowing personal vendettas or personal experiences and points taken personal from deviating ourselves from this process wherein for the first time we are doing what has never been done and what we as human beings don’t like doing which is: seeing ourselves as the mind, introspecting, self-investigating, which this includes not only ‘myself’ but also learning how to walk with others, their minds and configurations, to understand how and why they ‘came to be’ who they are as the mind and so never miss the point of realizing that no matter ‘how bad’ or how ‘evil’ I may perceive another, I am only judging another’s mind with my own mind which means that this is a point that obviously exists within me and here to self-forgive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having harbored throughout many years the idea that because we are in this process, we simply do not ‘intend’ any ‘evil’ against one another, and so in this creating the assumption that because we understand principles, then it’s done, there’s no more frictions or conflicts, backchats beliefs toward one another, but this is simply not so. I’ve realized how much work it actually takes to really integrate this point of self-change and my point here to take self responsibility for is the experience of just projecting my own giving up to another as in ‘not knowing what else to do’ and seeing another as a ‘lost case’ instead of actually realizing that this mind /this person/this situation is actually a gift wherein I am demonstrating and mirroring back to myself where it is that I still have to work with within myself, within my mind, within my expectations and stopping them, within the memories that get activated within me whenever I have been throughout my life subject to any form of another’s mind projection as I see and realize that in the past I accepted and allowed this to affect ‘me’ because I then had no context or understanding of who we are as the mind and therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the thought pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ when I was in elementary school and I was subject to bullying for being the ‘star of the class’ and have kids stop talking to me or telling me how they were going to ‘defeat me’ and ‘bring me down’ and ‘win over me’ wherein I created an extensive amount of stress, apprehension and general I could say depression at age 7-8 wherein I could not fathom why these kids that were supposed to be my friends, my classmates were ‘getting at me.’ In this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of ‘I rather just not be ‘as good as I’ve been’ so that ‘they’ can have the spot they want and ‘I’ stop being the problem for them’ – without realizing that in this I would have given up on myself and making their words a ‘reality’ as a point for me to make decisions based on what others think/believe/say about myself or toward ‘me.’ So I realized by support of my mother that that was not the way and that I simply didn’t have to ‘listen to others’ but still, this ‘spine’ that emerged from these situations and later on becoming more aware of how we operate toward another as human beings in this world, made me feel powerless toward ‘the evil’ in this world and the actual nastiness and secrecy and deliberate hate that exists between human beings, which is how I then created the experience of being ‘too sensitive’ to these things which is why I then became a ‘hard ass’ so to speak so as to be able to cope better with all of these experiences that I went through while growing up and ‘taking the heat’ of things, while seeing myself in a constant ‘battle’ so to speak, which is why I also developed this mentality of having to be on a ‘defense mode’ most of the times toward those that I perceive are ‘out to get me.’

I realize that this is the modus vivendi that we all have, and that I’m no different to any other individual and I bet we have all created and built up our ‘walls’ of defense so that no one can really ‘get us’ or get to see the actual vulnerability that we all have as human beings, because this is understood as an opportunity to abuse a form of trust, of intimacy and understanding – so I see that because I’ve done this myself, I’ve been there myself, I can then understand why in the mind we tend to automate defense-mode and ‘attack-modes’ toward one another in the belief that ‘we have to defend ourselves.’

The  only thing that requires to be ‘defended’ is who we are as ego, because Life is simply recognized and supported.  

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have re-enacted, re-experienced within myself the same experiences of shock, sadness, disbelief and mostly  helplessness toward others such as the memory when I saw my ‘friends’ in school talking to each other’s ears during lunchtime and looking at myself and when I tried to join them, they simply ignored me, which is when I decided that I would have to learn how to be alone – and in this, allowing this secrecy and these backchats and ‘conspiracies’ about me to get everyone in the group to ‘dislike me’ to define ‘who I would be’ toward everyone else which is how I then started developing a constant state of distrust, having very few people as ‘friends’ and generally toward human beings creating this general idea that ‘everyone is evil’ so I could not like or trust people easily, which in a way it was cool as I was seeing the nature of who we are as the mind – but the problem is that I took it personally and I believed that ‘the world was out to ‘get me down’’ and that people wanted ‘my position’ in school/in my life or that ‘wanted’ my life, which lead me to essentially have virtually no friends, specially no ‘female’ friends as I considered that it was easier to ‘get at me’ or get to ‘steal’ the people I liked or my friends – lol which my fear became somewhat true at some point – but I see that this is all just what I have created in my mind, as my memories that I’ve loaded based on that initial disbelief, sadness, helplessness toward others’ words and having taken them personally, and so as a ‘result’ simply managing to become a ‘tougher’ person which was nothing else but the expression I had to ‘pull out’ in order to defend myself and have ‘no one to fuck with me’ which of course is not the solution, as this ‘stance’ of self-defense or being in constant ‘vigilant’ mode also leads us to perpetuate the state of wars within and wars without.

 

So in this I realize that If I am in fact here to embody stability and harmony as myself and toward others, I have to first ensure that I am not conditioning my behavior based on ‘how others act’ and so ‘act as a response To Them’ as this would be then Re-acting, responding, replying, reminding myself ‘who I should be’ toward another based on memories, emotions, beliefs, expectations, assumptions  - all of which is of the mind and all of which I cannot trust when being here with another, reading/hearing/sharing words with another and so in this

I commit myself to ensure that whenever I read something that is directed towards ‘me’ and I perceive it as a form of attack or slander, I stop and I breathe. And I ensure that I am stable and that I am not rehashing my past memories and experiences of ‘not knowing how to deal with this attack’ as in primary school – but instead immediately ground myself within the realization that these words are coming from another mind as part of the mind that I am also existing as, and as such, reacting in any way with fears, judgments, emotions and beliefs is nothing else but perpetuating the problem = not taking self-responsibility for myself, therefore I direct myself then to take into consideration how can I best support that individual and do so the same way I would like it to be done to myself, and actually seeing or ‘reminding’ myself that that person is a part of me that I am here to support as I have vowed to do so for myself in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the façade that ‘everything should be fine’ because ‘there is no conflict’ and as such maintain this belief or experience of ‘everything is cool’ or ‘workable’ and whenever  a point of conflict emerges in my world and reality,  then I go into a form of ‘blame’ toward the person/point that emerged as ‘conflict’ for ‘disrupting the workable/agreeable situation’ which is in fact only pointing to myself where it is that I want to maintain a form of control over how I believe the situation should be, and how even if I have tried to ‘embrace conflict’ there was an expectation of such conflict being ‘solved’ already and so when the point repeats/reactivates I go into a helplessness state as in the belief of ‘this point/person/mind should have gotten it by now’ and so in this actually using  this backchat as an excuse to not FIRST of all look at why have I created such expectations upon ‘others’ instead of first pin pointing the reaction, the experience that leads me to create such backchat in the first place? Why have I accepted and allowed myself to dismiss this subtle reaction within ME and immediately shift it toward ‘another’ which implies a form of righteousness as well: I am right and the other is the one causing the conflict, which is in fact dodging /abdicating my own responsibility first and foremost. 

 

When and as I see myself having the backchat/assumption of ‘This person should have gotten it by now’ I stop and I breathe as I realize that in this I am immediately dodging my own reaction, my own expectations, my own beliefs upon that person/situation and the belief of ‘point being corrected/point is aligned/point will no longer repeat the pattern’ as I realize that in the mind everything that we have become throughout time is nothing else but a broken record where we repeat our same experiences from our very early memories in our lifetime, which I have seen and exposed for myself as well. Therefore I then commit myself to understand the person/situation, rather see what point is emerging now, what point is repeating, why and how can I best assist and support myself first to practice blaming or seeing ‘others’ as the problem, as I realize that obviously no matter how ‘subtle’ these reactions emerge within me, such words when directed as an expectation ‘toward another’ is indicating me that I first have to look within myself and see where I haven’t yet changed/aligned and corrected the point of reaction within myself, which is the whole point here of absolute self-responsibility and taking it all back to self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the denial of my own secret mind when judging secrecy based on others’ words/actions, without realizing that in this I am once again dodging the realization that everything that goes on in my mind is still somewhat ‘secret’ as in there being no other being but myself in my mind and so by judging/denying/pointing fingers at ‘secrecy’ I am in essence missing out the point that has actually enabled us all to become ‘fearful’ to things like mass surveillance and so forth, which is how we want to ‘keep things secret’ as in hidden agendas where one can still allow backchat and imaginations/fantasies for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about others which is a form of abuse as I realize that I would certainly not want myself to be subject to or an object of someone else’s mind – so for this, it is to first of all understand that ‘who we are as the mind’ has been the epitome of secrecy, the secret mind as that aspect of ourselves that we have veiled from everyone else, wherein we usually paint a good picture of us while hiding the ‘actual truth’ of ourselves. And so the title of this is ‘the uncomfortable truth’ which is where we believe that we are ‘right’ in our minds, that we are the ones doing the proper assessments, without realizing that when we are in any way judging/blaming/dismissing or denying another as oneself, one is definitely becoming the source and origin of the problem itself, as in the mind nothing can be trusted, in the mind as an immediate and almost ‘quantum’ experience that comes into our physical bodies and permeates our ‘reasoning’ from which we create an immediate response/reaction toward another, is not to be trusted, it is to be actually Stopped, breathed through in order to then assess what is it that’s coming up within me, why am I having this experience in my physical body, and so not attempt to ‘reply’ or ‘react’ to another as a way to ‘prove wrong’ or ‘prove right’ but instead focus on how I can respond in a way wherein I am taking self-responsibility which means that

 

I commit myself to respond to another based on the consideration of themselves as myself, and so first ensuring that I am fully stable, not participating in any experience – and if I was, then I Refrain/stop myself from reacting in the moment – so that I can take the time to assess how it is best to assist and support another, instead of wanting to ‘teach a lesson’ or ‘remind’ another of something that I believe ‘should have been ‘gotten’ by now’ – which is another form of righteousness or superiority when it comes to ‘proving another wrong’ or proving that ‘the point has not changed’ as an excuse to ‘dismiss’ another, which would be like wanting to cut my own arm just because it doesn’t have the strength that I expected it to have, even if I haven’t actually done the necessary work/training to develop such muscle and ensure that I have done all that is required to, for example, have my arm have a particular strength to a particular task or ability in my physical body.

 

I realize that everything that we’ve done throughout our lives in this reality is to dismiss, deny, negate, discriminate, exile, marginalize everything and everyone that doesn’t comply or doesn’t ‘fall’ into the creation of a normalcy which can be of course quite deceptive if not all cards are on the table, which means if oneself hasn’t actually taken absolute responsibility for what one is doing/experiencing/believing and perceiving about others and or the reasons why I would want to not want to see/not want to face/exile or marginalize another within the belief that ‘there is no cure, there is no solution’ which all that comes to mind when writing these words is the image of doctors in mental institutions that keep patients sedated and fully controlled just because we’ve given up on understanding how they got to such mental condition – or with ‘criminals’ that are sentenced to death which is our easy way out in society to deal with our own consequences, to not have to ‘face the dangerous person’ but, really being foolish to not investigate HOW and WHY we have created such mental problems, such so-called ‘criminals’ and why even our definitions of mental illnesses and criminals have been so diminished in our ‘mind framework’ dismissing all of us really that still exist in our minds and that still participate in a world-system where we commit crimes against life as a collective by allowing the starvation and the marginalization of those that we have rendered ‘helpless’ and ‘poor’ and ‘eccentric’ and ‘mentally ill’ and so forth, which are all tags that we create to justify our inability to work with them/walk with them in order to get to point of stability – which, of course, won’t be an easy thing to do, but it is what I would like others to do toward myself if I was in such position/role of being the marginalized, the ‘ousted’ one or the rejected one, as I’ve certainly to some degree have faced such point myself so, I realize that that is what I want for myself and so I have to give it to others that are willing of course to support themselves back, as that’s the essential principle I commit myself to walk here: to support others the way that I would like to be supported myself.

 

I commit myself to stop all assumptions, all projections of ideas/beliefs and perceptions I have toward ‘others’ and ‘who they are’ or ‘Should be’ in my mind, and instead commit to live in the moment where words are assessed in the moment instead of carrying ‘past history’ of a person within myself as a recollection of ‘experiences’ toward ‘them’ to then decide ‘who I am toward the person’ as this is my own conditioning my own ‘program’ that I have to ensure is not interfering with my ability to support another as myself which begins by ensuring I am not tainting another’s words based on the past or ‘who I believe the person to be’ but rather work each time, anew, from the words  in the moment, no past, not future, just here.

 

 

I commit myself to live the word humbleness in practicality within the consideration of others as myself which implies placing myself in the shoes of another, understand ‘where they’re coming from’ ensuring I’m not taking their words/actions/thoughts personally, but that I am able to instead if I see myself able to understand the words, I can most certainly challenge and will myself to support another that I see is willing to support themselves too, as this is how I see that through supporting each other it is easier to face the points and patterns that still exist within ourselves, so this is to not see another through eyes of ‘how changed he/she should be by now’ but to simply work with what is here, no preconceptions, no expectations, no denials, no running away or dodging the point but facing it fully here as it is part of my reality, and that then is of course my responsibility to face as well.

 

I commit myself to live the word gentleness which is a very necessary aspect when it comes to my words and to ensure that I am not in any way creating a defense mode toward another or to prove ‘righteousness’ or want to ‘control’ a situation through any amount of force, as I realize that this is what I have judged from any form of ‘authority’ that I have experienced such form of ‘control’ form, which is nothing else but actual fear that attempts to keep things ‘stable’ instead of facing them and directing them as self – so I realize that in order to live Gentleness  I have to let go of any speck of fear that creates the ‘defense mode’ and so align my words to embody that gentleness, consideration and humbleness to understand another, to support another as I would like to be supported myself and so be willing to embrace all parts of what is here in this world as myself and as points that I require to face if I am in fact to ‘train’ myself to educate myself to support any other person in this world that wants to support themselves back.

 

Further reading:

254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

 

Suggested places to understand more about how to embrace and support the nature of who we have become as our mind:

 

Demonology | Revealing the world of demonsDesteni

 

The History of Desteni and Demons – Part One – YouTube

 

 

DSC00535

 

 

 

To learn more about how to support yourself and another, share, walk with us and become part of the necessary liberation from fighting against each other and instead, become life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


407. The Mind as Mankind’s Fall

Continuation to:

 

The original nature of man as ‘fallen’ can be understood as that origin and starting point of our existence as the manifestation of the separation of Self as one and equal. This is about that primordial separation from which we have come a long, long way up to now where we virtually have no remembrance of how long we have been repeating the same mistakes, the same patterns, living the same li(v)es and seeking the same answers as to why we haven’t been able to live a fulfilling, peaceful, joyful life. And that’s where it all began, when we have considered that the rather disturbing and horrible things going on inside our minds and so in our reality is some kind of a ‘fall’ or a ‘course’ that we have to seek to escape, ignore or seek to be saved or hide from it all in the opposite polarity in all things that relate to positivity, light & love as consciousness ‘revolutions’ and ‘evolutions’ that promote the avoidance of everything that would be considered in our minds as bad/negative/destructive –however, who/what or rather HOW did we come to define the ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ in our reality?

 

Origin of Separation 07

 

 

What I truly consider necessary is to understand our starting point in this process of investigating how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to act, speak and think in ways that are not best for all, to only act in the mindset of ‘what’s best for me’ as the reverse of life, and this is all because we have listened to our minds as our thoughts, feelings and emotions to dictate who we are, what to do, what to believe, etc. which means: we haven’t lived in self-awareness, we haven’t lived by principles that consider what is best for everyone and ourselves, we haven’t paid attention to how we dictate our lives based on our beliefs with which we create the world-system, constructs and institutions in this world as our image and likeness; we have created our own traps and laws as knowledge and information that we then  use to excuse our own thoughts and actions without questioning where did it all come from?  It is about realizing that we cannot rely in the answers given any longer – instead we have to focus on understanding the mechanism, the ‘tool’ with which we think, and that is the Mind.

 

 

 

Apparently, the Consciousness as Personality is a ‘Higher Form’ of Being, because – it can ‘Reason’. But, in fact – it has No Reason. Reason would be the Ability to Directively, Always, Manage All Existence in a Cooperative Way with Respect, Understanding the Inherent Equality as the Life Force that Animates the Form. But the Consciousness Refuse to Consider this. Because that would mean, it Must Give-Up its Self-Interest which is Focused on the Continuous Systematic Production of Energy and Feelings by Systems that the End-Result as Consciousness Never Sees, Never Understands, Never Considers. 
Frankly, to be the End-Product as 
Energy
 and Feeling – without Understanding the Mechanics of Production: is the Height of Ignorance, and is the CORE Cause where All Life Forms and Life itself is Ignored. – Bernard Poolman 

- See more at: http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-258-vampires-in-soul-of-sacred.html#sthash.dEzEtNM0.dpuf

 

How we operate in the mind is – and this you can observe for yourself – we constantly and continuously create a process of friction and conflict within ourselves, we generate and perpetuate ‘all bad things’ in our lives and so in this world, which becomes then our ‘fallen’ state or condition: it is not a curse, it is not some divine punishment, it is not only preprogramming – it is the laws, rules which come from thoughts that become our ideologies with which we start defining ‘who we are’ and ‘how things must be’ which lead us to exist in conflict, always seeking to be at the point of least discomfort, the least effort, the least conflict, the most ‘love’ or ‘feeling good’ as all things positive that we eventually become addicted to. It is then in this self-created ‘fall’ that we start  vehemently seeking all things to seemingly ‘escape’ from seeing, facing and realizing the consequences of our original starting point which is that of friction and conflict, of not cooperating  with each other, of evil as the reverse of live which is defined in our minds as negative, seemingly ‘bad’ which is nothing else but acting/thinking in ways that are harmful/abusive/deceptive to oneself, which carry consequences that we can all witness and are participating it as our lives and how this world-system mostly operates: deception, corruption, hatred, abuse, control, etc.

These are not things we have to fear and hide from, this is what we create ourselves with our very own thoughts and experiences in our minds, this where we have led ourselves to in self-interest and disregard of everything and everyone else as equals. So, fearing it or denying it is only prolonging the necessary process that comes when realizing what we’ve done and become. Nothing to feel guilty of, that can be self-forgiven – experiencing real shame is not an experience in itself, but a profound decision to understand what I/we have created, done and become and make a decision to never again repeat the same mistakes, that’s a constructive way to live shame and transform guilt into a process of self-correction.

 

One of the reasons why throughout this process we initially focus on dissecting, investigating, understanding the ‘evil’ as the reverse of life existent within ourselves and the world-system as a whole, is to see, realize and understand how each one of us through acting based on what we think, feel or believe have come to act and co-create this world in a way wherein we have only regarded ‘my personal interest’ and disregard everything and everyone else. We learn how to  seek culprits, point fingers and blame others for how ‘bad’ things are or what ‘they’ have done unto ‘us’ – not realizing that there’s not ‘us vs. them’ because for a master to exist, slaves had to comply to such role as well.

We tend to avoid looking at or rather fear focusing on our consequences, which is not to get fixated on everything ‘bad’ in this world – it is rather to understand how we came to create these consequences, what we have done, what we haven’t done, where have I actually been directly involved with the consequences in my own life.

 

The Sole Purpose for the Human Existence, being that: as a Slave – Producing the Energy Necessary for the Multi-Dimensions Existence, in Form. – Bernard Poolman

Read the entire explanation at:  http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-254-secret-geometry-of.html#sthash.Co7M2FpI.dpuf

 

This is also why we expose how in seeking only ‘the positive’ we are only creating a Band-Aid solution to a very deep in-jury we have inflicted upon ourselves from the beginning of our time, never in fact knowing the real story behind our purpose and meaning of existence in this reality – this is not something ‘negative’ or ‘bad,’ it is how things are in fact. The only way to understand why we would we or anyone act in a deliberate harmful and abusive way is through understanding how our mind works and operates, its origin and purpose, which is why I consider that it is vital to investigate Desteni and so understand that all ‘the bad’ and negative in this world is our creation, so we simply stop creating an experience toward this ‘fallen’ perception of man, stop thinking we ‘will never change’ or that it is human nature and as such it is unchangeable – and instead direct ourselves to do the truly revolutionary move of challenging such beliefs, challenging everything we’ve known till this day and focus on our own process of understanding what it means to live in Self-Honesty, to not be dictated by pre-ordained thinking patterns, emotions or feelings but instead deliberately think, act and speak according to what will be supportive for each other as equals.

 

It is also self-evident how our reality is the result of our disregard of each other as equals, from giving to one another what we should have always given to each other in the recognition of another as myself –we haven’t applied any of this because we allowed ourselves to focus only on the individual, the survival, the ‘how I feel and experience myself’ which is nothing else than giving priority to who we are in the mind as emotions and feelings – the negative and positive experiences respectively – all energy based. What I have learned at Desteni is that participating in these experiences is in fact once again confirming our separation and enslavement, our ‘fallen’ experiences that we then tend to use as an excuse to focus on ‘getting well’ or ‘being positive’ rather than looking at physical reality and questioning ourselves why we have created this generally ‘negative’ state and condition for everyone? Why do we have to constantly seek all the ‘good’ things in life instead of giving this to each other as a living right? Why have we kept each other oppressed, marginalized and uneducated about our true potential when we work in consideration of what is best for all?

 

Waterfall

 

When we believe we ‘fall’ for example and create a negative experience about it, we are in fact only caring about ‘how I FEEL’ and how I Experience myself through thoughts, emotions, feelings that I then believe are in fact ‘real’ and so confirming and recreating one’s own ‘fall’ as explained in the previous blog, which is nothing else but a self-created experience that we then hold on to as an excuse to not actually stand up, review why we fell, how we fell, what can we then lay out as a practical solution to prevent oneself from committing the same fault/ mistake and so continue walking, continue living the process of self-correction.

 

When we allow ourselves to define ‘who we are’ through the veil of emotions, feelings as beliefs, desires, fears, worries, obsessions, we are in fact only contributing to the problem in our reality, we are not contributing to establish solutions, because solutions come in the form of practical plans of action such as stopping participating in emotions with which we make ourselves  feel bad and miserable – which is the same process when we go into a ‘high’ experience seeking to look only at the positive in this world, thinking about all that makes us feel good and that we’ve defined as beautiful or comfortable in our experience – this is what creates the most problems in fact, because in this we ignore our starting point which is the actual reality that everyone can confirm right now just by going outside of your house and looking at how we relate to each other, how our money system operates, how we have to exist in a constant survival mode, how wars are waged within ourselves, toward each other and between nations, how we use information to manipulate, how we learn to lie and deceit to earn the most… all of this is what we have created as our image and likeness of our original separation from being in fact living as one and equal from the beginning of our existence.  

 

This doesn’t imply that we must remain fixated on only looking at how ‘bad’ we are as that would also be an excuse to remain enslaved, which is also useless without understanding such consequential outflows what we create. We have to stop believing that ‘we were born this way, we are screwed for life’ type of excuses. What we focus on at Desteni is daring to first look at that ‘evil’ aspect of ourselves, evil as in the reverse of live, understanding why and how we have come to exist as and create these high levels of self-abuse, neglect, self-harm, hatred toward one another and so once we start understanding how we create such destruction through our everyday distractions in the mind, losing track of living principles, we can then start practically writing and structuring How we can stop participating in all of these destructive distractions and establish/build a new track where we can step aside of our own cave, to see that the ‘fall’ must not be a continuous experience of feeling damned, but can only be a moment to reflect further on how we came to such ‘fall’ or entrapment, and how we can now focus on getting back on track, stop all distractions, stop self-destruction and align ourselves to that which we realize is best for all, best for oneself which begins through precisely using writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to give ourselves the direction that we realize we always should have given to us, to live by the principles where equality is realized at a practical level.

This is then part of the understanding of why we haven’t just lived ‘heaven on Earth’ and why we desperately sought it by avoiding all that we perceived as evil/bad/negative, which we end up creating as a consequence of not realizing that we haven’t built any actual foundation – such as a world-system based on living principles of life in equality –  to provide a good life for each other here on Earth; we haven’t yet collectively worked on establishing supportive platforms of education to understand our minds and so understand how this world is a reflection of every single pattern of separation that we exist as within ourselves, which is also one of the purposes we are so adamant in sharing the importance of understanding our minds and so realizing the responsibility that resides in each one of us to contribute to this process of self-change through self-honesty and self-responsibility, learning how to honor each other as life.

 

 

Collective unconcious 07

 

 

Some other examples of how we trap ourselves in our mental polarity

 

Seeking ‘peace’ is nothing else but a controlled and ongoing state of ‘preventing war’ instead of getting rid of the concept of war and peace to realize the positive and negative connotations to it and how such ‘states of being’ are only experiences in the mind, where one is defined by the existence of the other – in this, we forget to look at the reasons why wars are waged, why we have come to believe that a ‘solution’ to a conflict comes through death and destruction, why we have come to believe that wars are a good way to ‘restart the economy’ or how wars can be a way to honor a nation… and so realizing that peace is not something to fight for, but a process of creating a world-system where we never again fall in the trap of believing that war  brings any supportive results in our reality. The same applies then to love and hate, good or bad, weak or strong – dissecting each of these words to understand why we create our own highs and lows is the most empowering thing we can do, so that we are no longer controlled by  energetic experiences as thoughts, feelings, emotions but instead focus on establishing a real stability in our lives through focusing on practical solutions in physical reality.

 

 

An example, if we see that money is a collectively accepted concept existent as debt and as such a fictional instrument of control to keep the majority on survival mode while creating ‘power’ for a minority, then we realize that it makes sense to step by step start aligning this money-construct to become something that is actually supportive to enable everyone to live in dignity. A practical way to do this is for example to provide money for everyone that doesn’t currently have an assured income and provide better wages for everyone as a beginning and stepping stone to continue then correcting the entire construction/concept that we have all created as what ‘money’ is and redefine its creation, use and purpose the same way that we can redefine words to stop reacting to our own creation of money, judging it as ‘the root of all evil’ and as such, start focusing on how we can give another use to money to provide a everyone access to live in a dignified manner and investigate all the alignments and corrections required to be able to collectively agree to do just that.


They key point is to understand then how we came to create money as the apparent ‘root of all evil’ which is the image and likeness of our need to control to have ‘more’ than others and so consolidate the idea of power, and so start looking at and structuring ways to perfect the creation of money so that it no longer is issued by private corporations for the purpose of perpetuating power and control, but that it functions merely as the administrative and practical tool it always should have been from which debt and its profitable creation in the form of interest can cease to exist – this will only be possible when we collectively agree on money becoming an actual way to ensure the supportive management of resources and how we interact with them to have a dignified life.
 

As we can see, sorting out the money problem involves a process and so it will also take a process to do the same with ourselves in our minds, to understand first how we created the problem, why, how we have become the problem itself and so create a practical plan to change ourselves once that we have faced, self-forgiven and understood the point in which we have created our own fall and never really moved from it until now that we are opening up the ability to change ourselves.

 

Money is as fake as this Empire State Plastic Eraser

 

The only reason why we have to begin with and first focus on the consequences we have created, the actual negative/bad/destructive aspects of our reality is because we have conditioned ourselves to neglect them, to avoid seeing the truth of ourselves, our reality and so only resorting in that which makes us ‘feel good’ or ‘think positive’ which is the apparent ‘way out’ from our own damnation. But the problem is that we have accepted and allowed such evil/negative/bad as who we are which lead us to accept the fact that seeking the ‘positive/good’ was a solution – it is not, it is only jumping from pole to pole which is also why most of our problem-solution-reward processes in our world-system have been another way to evolve the problem, because there had never been solutions based on what is best for all and embracing all aspects of ourselves/our reality as oneself, but instead we have always generated solutions where some are benefitted and others are not, perpetuating the divide and conquer mentality as well as the polarity of ‘good vs. evil’ and once again back into the programming of thinking and perceiving this reality through the mental-filter of ‘good vs. bad’ which is what we have trapped ourselves into always experiencing conflict of doing good things or bad thins, never considering plain common sense of what I require to do to live in consideration of what is best for all.  This we do through the process of self-honesty: not ‘ignoring’ the bad, not avoiding it but understanding it, self-forgiving it and laying out solutions and corrections that we can implement at an individual and collective level which won’t be founded upon going into the ‘up’ or ‘high’ experience as something ‘positive,’ but simply aligning to the principle that exists within each one of us as part of this physical existence, the principle that we can see would enable us to co-create a reality where we can fulfill each other’s necessities, where we can actually express ourselves to our utmost potential which exists in each one of us as a potential to be developed – it is a seed waiting to be watered in each one of us.

 

Now that we have the understanding of ‘the evil’ or ‘the fall’, we can then focus on forgiving the ‘fall’ which is the equivalent of existing in separation, existing in the mind, existing of consciousness and so walk this physical, practical, constant and consistent process where we can apply ourselves to correct our ‘nature’ and for the first time prove to ourselves that we can live as equals in this world.

 

For all of this, an individual process is required, which is then how our starting point can be realized not as a damnation, an eternal curse, but a general misalignment to the principle of Life in Equality, which is who/what we really are as part of this existence from which we have separated ourselves through knowledge, information, words, experiences – all of it in the mind. An analogy here is that it is no different to seeing a detuned guitar and each one of us being part of the strings that are ‘out of tune.’ So tuning ourselves as each string that will make the guitar have a harmonious sound is our responsibility, and it will not be about creating a ‘greater experience’ about it or about making ourselves ‘superior’ for walking the process of ‘tuning’ ourselves, but simply to align ourselves to how we all realize in common sense will make the guitar sound better, to fine-tune ourselves to be actually ‘sound’ and support the actual creation of music that can come from such guitar – the strings being each one of us and the guitar as our body, our reality as the platform that enables the expression of the strings which is this world along with all living beings that are here and that already cooperate and exist in self-awareness, the same as the world body that has been waiting for us to decide to begin aligning ourselves so that we can altogether sound ourselves in harmony as a whole.

 

 

As we can see the realization that we are out of tune is the first step, Then we have to see whether we are high or low in the tone so that we can understand how we will fine tune each string, and just like we all know when a guitar is sounding ‘good’ we can all also have such principle of what would be best for everyone in this reality such as providing each other the necessary support to physically live well and have a dignified life, to support each other the way we would want others to support ourselves, to not harm or abuse each other but to rather realize what we can do and create if we work together with this starting point and principle of considering what is best for all, to give to one another as we would like to receive and through that we can eventually get to realize ourselves as equals which means: stopping living in the positive or negative aspects of how we define what we do, but to simply focus on understanding how have I detuned/misaligned myself, how to correct myself to tune myself back to my alignment based on what is best for myself and all so that I, in conjunction with everyone else, get to be sound and able to express ourselves as we always should have done, because we all want this for ourselves, we just haven’t taken the actual steps to do so beginning with ourselves as individuals, as that’s where the initial split was created in our individuality: in our minds, mining our physical substance to power up our friction and conflict – this is the actual self abuse that requires to be stopped within self-first.

 

What expressions can come from aligning ourselves? That’s up to us, but first point is to take that first point of responsibility to align ourselves, to fine tune ourselves and the rest is yet to be walked. It is important to note that the tuning might not be a given answer – it won’t be a feeling, a though or an emotion. We have to actually take the responsibility to create the ways in which we can physically test out what works, what doesn’t, what points to consider, how to see the changes through space and time – it is all about a physical process of stabilizing ourselves and supporting each other to do the same and so push ourselves to share with each other how it is possible to truly live to our utmost potential – this is yet to be seen and realized, but we have to start somewhere and so we begin here, with ourselves.

 

We are everything as equals 08

 

Suggested read:

Supportive Reads:

 

Supportive Material:

The Soul of Money Series:

 

The Secret History of the Universe

 

 

To learn more about transcending the veil of good and evil:

  • Desteni
  • Desteni Articles
  • Destonians
  • Desteni Lite Process
  • Desteni I Process
  • Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
  • Desteni Forum
  • Desteni Wiki
  • Desteni Español
  • Creation’s Journey to Life
  • Heaven’s Journey To Life
  • 7 Year Journey To Life Process

  • 406. ‘The Fall’ in Process

      

     

    Throughout this process and interacting with a considerable amount of people online walking the same process within Desteni as I am, I’ve read many, many times how people ‘come’ and ‘go’ when it comes to applying the tools at Desteni like writing, sharing at the forums, sharing our writings and in essence doing so because we understand that this is about placing visibility of the principles that we should have always lived by, such as the consideration of being one and equal, of being life, of taking responsibility for how we act, live and exist in this world as cohabitants of the same reality. However we also become aware of how difficult it is at times to simply stop existing in our own mind-patterns, our routine, our excuses and justifications for holding on to something that defines us, that we perceive is ‘who we are’ and as such don’t really want to change and challenge ourselves our ability to step outside of the known ‘hole’ or obstacle, as if these were in fact part of ‘who we are’ and always have been and had no cure, no remedy and no means to ‘get well’ or stand corrected. Well, whenever we decide to ‘fall’ in process is similar to standing inside a cave and knowing how one can get out, the tools for practically dealing with ‘life outside the cave’ or ‘the box’ and how to begin living outside of everything we’ve ever known, but somehow we become afraid, or miss the false sense of comfort that remaining in such cave or ‘box’ gives us, which is our mind, everything we’ve ever been and done.

     

    So, what happens is that when we ‘give up’ on ourselves is really in essence a declaration of saying I prefer to remain in the cave, I prefer to remain enslaved and I do not want to actually change. Why is it necessary to then understand the ‘fall’ not as such as in falling into a precipice and seeing ‘no way out’ of it? Because a fall is associated with a ‘falling’ from the sky, a falling from heaven, a going down, a being ‘damned’ and going to hell, a getting ‘out’ of the ‘higher realities’ and seemingly missing out some kind of heaven… well, those associations – regardless of believing in any religion or god – are existent in our own conception at least in English and in Spanish in my case of how something that ‘falls’ is a form of decay, a damnation, a ‘not good enough’ statement, self-deprecation, self-devaluation, etc. So the point here is to consider ‘the fall’ which is also associated with the ‘fall and rise’ of empires or regimes and so on, to stop seeing our process in such terms and rather see them for what they are: a deliberate decision to change or not to change.

     

    To back up this point, here the exact quote of Oxford dictionary on the word ‘Fall’ and see all the meanings that we want to apply or implicate when we say we ‘fell’ in our process:

    fall

    1  move from a higher to a lower level, typically rapidly and without control. (fall off) become detached and drop to the ground. hang down. slope downwards. (of a person’s face) show dismay or disappointment by appearing to droop.

    2  cease to be standing or upright; collapse.

    3  decrease in number, amount, intensity, or quality.

    4  pass into a specified state: the buildings fell into disrepair. occur or arrive. (fall to doing something) begin to do something.

    5  be captured or defeated. Cricket (of a wicket) be taken by the bowling side. archaic yield to temptation.

    6  be classified in the way specified.

      noun

    1  an act of falling. Wrestling a move which pins the opponent’s shoulders on the ground for a count of three. a downward difference in height between parts of a surface. a sudden onset or arrival.

    2  a thing which falls or has fallen. a waterfall.

    3  a decrease.

    4  a defeat or downfall. (the Fall of Man) the lapse of humankind into a state of sin, ascribed in Jewish and Christian theology to the disobedience of Adam and Eve.

    5        North American autumn.}

    “fall (n.) Look up fall at Dictionary.com
       c.1200, “a falling;” see fall (n.). Old English noun form, fealle, meant “snare, trap.””

    EMS Adam and EVE

     

    The Fall of Man and Breaking the Illusions

    Again, doesn’t matter if you are religious or not, this exists at an unconscious level within each one of us. The moment we go into the perception of ‘falling’ we actually corroborate our own ‘damnation’ and apparent inability to change: I fell, I am damned, I have no remedy, I’m fucked for life, screw this process! But how can we define our failures if we haven’t even fully gotten ourselves out of the cave, which means to live by principles in the constancy and consistency required? How come we have continually damned ourselves as incapable of change? Or constantly ‘falling’? Are we really ‘falling’? I mean, have you actually gone inside a hole in the ground of which you can’t get out? No, it’s all in our minds and when we declare that we ‘fall’ we expect ourselves to justify our own ‘damnation’ by confirming our preprogrammed ‘sins’ and being ‘damned’ for not following some divine laws.

    This is how we trap ourselves in the polarity of doing good and bad, of rising and falling, and perceiving this constant battle to  ‘keep oneself from falling,’ not being ‘strong enough’ and feeling ‘weak,’ not realizing that this already implies that I AM battling against ‘the fall’ or ‘falling’ which already makes our starting point absolutely flawed when it comes to walking this process as principled living which means: living the way that I realize we should have all always lived by: living by principles to get to our utmost potential, which is nothing more and nothing less than living by the principles where we individually and collectively ensure we consider each other as equals, where we give to each other what we would want for ourselves within the realization that we are in fact one and equal.

     

    So, that’s the ‘theory’ behind this process, but in practicality then it means that there’s no such thing as a ‘fall’ when I deliberately decide to not act in this principle of considering what’s best for all, there is no ‘sin’ or ‘wrong doing’, it is simply a decision of not living by principles. Is there a punishment? A judgment? A devaluation necessary? A feeling bad for it? No, that would be manipulation of course, another sense of guilt that people in churches and religion are meant tot experience when perceiving themselves to be doing something ‘bad.’

    The perfection of this process resides in us facing the direct consequence of everything we do or don’t do and according to our starting point in everything we do, act, speak or don’t do act or speak on, the principle with which we do something, we’ll also receive and or get the feedback/result in equal-stance or equal starting point. Of course we live in a world where we are Not yet living in principles so this is not a guarantee as I cannot force another to treat me as an equal because I consider him/her as an equal, but it all Does begin and end within self at this stage and so doing this will certainly mean creating our own way ‘out of the cave’ from scratch as it’s never been done before. So, instead of feeling, perceiving that one ‘falls’ when not continuing the application of living principles, I suggest realizing it simply means I haven’t willed myself and made a clear decision to live, act, speak in the principle of what is best for all, to actually commit myself to live by these words that I see and realize will be the actual bricks to construct a world that I would surely like to live in, one that is best for all.

    Instead of a falling, I suggest picturing yourself rather deciding to remain inside of a cave or an invisible jail that we’ve become so comfortable in, our ‘con’ of a fort, a fortress we’ve created and existed as in our minds where we believe we are always ‘safe’ and ‘protected’ instead of seeing it as the prison we’ve existed as for far too long now. Instead of perceiving ‘I fell’ I simply realize I have to once again see How I am keeping myself from walking outside of the cave, what skills do I require, which fear is it that I have to work with? What am I not willing to let go of/ what do I want to hold on to?

    And so, break through the illusion of ‘the fall’ and see it rather as the actual movement I require to stand up inside the cave and give myself direction to walk outside of it, to walk outside of the box. No one said it would be easy, but not doing so would only confirm our own mind control and frankly, I am done with it. If I don’t like the world I see around me, the daily news, the apathy, the distress, the pain, the suffering… I am not going to retreat further into my cave and keep dancing with the shadows, I stick to willing myself to walk outside of it and take the necessary steps to make it visible that we are capable of doing this as human beings, and that’s what I commit myself to be and dedicate myself for: rattling the cages of the caged which implies my own as well.

    For further reference on The Myth of the Cave by Plato, see: 

    Allegory of the Cave: our excuse to remain as slaves

     

    The fall is not real, it is only a lack of decision to change, so be the change you want to see in this world – stand up and take the steps outside of the cave. Walk along with us, you /we are not alone.

     

     

     

    Let’s learn together how to stand up and walk out of the cave:

     


    402. Who am I within Abuse?

    I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

    Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

     

    Facing the Evil of OUrselves

     

     

    Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

    Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

     

    Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

     

    We do it to ourselves

     

    Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

    So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

     

    Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

    abuse
    1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
    2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
    3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

    1    the improper use of something.
    2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
    3    insulting and offensive language.

     

    I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

     

    God won't save the queen now

     

     

    Can I imagine a world without abuse?

    It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

     

    When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

     

    In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

     

    My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

    My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

     

    I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

     

    Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

     

    In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

    I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

    As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

    I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

    In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

     

    God Bless the Child

     

    It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

    So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

     

     

    Self Forgiveness:

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

    I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

    I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

    I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

     

    I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

    I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

     

    Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

    I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

    I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

    I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

    I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

     

    I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

    I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

    I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

     

    Supportive Material:

     

    1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

    2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

    5. Deer Human

     

    Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

     

     

     

     


    400. How to Best Contribute to Each Other’s Lives?

     

    How many times do we actually wake up considering: How am I going to support myself and others today? Well, I bet not as often as we in fact should, yet if we all began applying such starting point for ourselves as part of ‘who we are/what we do’ in our day to day living, we would have an actual genuine revolution from the moment that the benefits of coexisting within such principle would most likely create as a result of it doing just that: a world that is best for everyone.

     

    Today I did the usual when going out for walk while going through various grocery stores buying my food and then I went to the place that I’ve been going to lately to get my ‘special recipe’ vegetables and nuts drink. I buy it at a relatively new small restaurant run by a family serving mostly what is called ‘healthy foods.’ I made the decision from the moment I saw it open that I would go there and ask them if I could get my ‘custom made’ juice, which they agreed to, and I simply saw that they were affable and asked them how long they had been running their business etc. the basics to get to know more about them as I kind of knew I would be going there quite often.

    It’s cool when you find a place where you can ask for ‘your drink’ being it so that I do not fancy bars or alcohol any longer to have ‘such experience’ but instead I go get my ‘healthy drink’ from there lol here. Throughout this past month when going there I would briefly chit chat the usual here and there about the weather and how their business was doing and some recipes etc. Though today casually just one month after first meeting them, we kind of went through the barrier of just being the customer/service provider relationship so to speak and this happened in a rather casual way, but certainly it was all based on Me taking the decision to just express in a moment.

     

    So they usually have their younger kids there and one of the girls had a knot in her hair and not enjoying her mother disentangling it. In that moment I simply expressed to them how that seemed such a ‘past story’ to me since I would also get very big knots at times and how I no longer have to be worrying about that – lol – so it seems that was me opening a door to say ‘more’ than the usual and specially related to me not having hair, they finally felt probably more at ease to ask me about my no-hair style and so yes I explained it was entirely my decision and explained some of the reasons why I do it – comfort, a decision I took in a moment of my life to stand up what’s best for me, for life and to live that support for myself – and obviously the benefit that comes with it when it comes to time, care etc.  So the man/ father then asked me what is it that I did/ what do I dedicate myself to since he and his wife had been curious about me, probably because of the no-hair or who knows but I ended up sharing what I dedicate my self to in terms of being a supporter of human development to integrate living principles that aren’t taught in schools and that are very much required in this world if we really want to change it, while applying them myself and in essence being ‘rattling the cages of the caged’ which I came to understand for a while now that that was the point in my life to be and do as well to instigate for those that can hear to also consider what’s possible in our world-life if we all start considering each other as equals and do to another as we would like to be done onto.

    I explained to them how I studied visual arts having an idea of maybe hitting the ‘good life’ and becoming some kind of an artist/star and be able to influence others to ‘change the world,’ but then one year into my career I found this organization and people around the world that completely changed my life and so I had to ask myself what I saw as a priority when it comes to my life, what I wanted to spend my time on: either creating artworks or dedicating myself to my own creation, to straighten/align myself so that I could be and become an example of what genuine change implies in practical manners in this world. I chose the latter, and yes it came with the ‘breakdown’ of myself as my ego, my desires which I absolutely personally took the decision do in my life. And here just for clarification purposes, no I am not saying that ‘to walk this process you need to give up ‘your life’’ or what you desire to do, this is just what I saw was pertinent in my case.

    From the moment I encounter the Desteni material it didn’t take long for me to think these exact same words ‘I want to work with them’ and from that moment on I simply applied myself to support with what I could at the time, transcribing material, studying it and getting to read more and more of the forum. I knew I was going to be ‘in it’ for life and so when I came to decide what I wanted to be doing, the decision was easier as I had also realized the starting point of my career pretty much based on the creation of my ego with no real foundation, so I didn’t quit, I walked it through but certainly realizing that my point in this life is to apply myself in this process of self change and be directly a point of support for others, which in this process it means living and applying the words I preach so to speak, being an example that I can see for and within myself I would like others to consider as a possibility and potential that exists within us all – not ‘as me’ but as the process of self-change and its possibilities when applied by each one of us individuals around the world.

    I’ve pushed myself to take these points of responsibility throughout time, walking slowly but surely throughout a series of insecurities, denials of my potential, believing that ‘others could do it better’ and that I wasn’t ‘ready enough’ and certainly this is not something you are immediately ‘ready-for,’ it takes time and self-application, consistency, dedication but mostly to remain self-honest within the starting point of supporting others which means: I support others within the realization that in doing this, I am supporting myself too, not to ‘be better than’ but to empower each other equally, which is the first point I see is necessary if we ever truly want to live the actual ‘power for the people.’

    So I shared all of this to the couple that runs the natural foods restaurant and so upon this, I usually do say to everyone that asks and is interested in it, that I am here if they would like to ever share something, get some perspectives as ‘that’s my job’ so to speak.And they did, they shared how one of their sons is quite analytical and critical about society, but is growing more and more angry and frustrated for not knowing ‘what to do’ to ‘change the world so to speak.’ And of course, I said I’ve been there, done that myself and so how I am available if they see it would be cool to have a chat with him. I consider that there is nothing more ‘rewarding’ than being able to communicate with other individuals at this level, with such ease, such openness and all of it formed by a series of decisions I made to also frequent buying there as I do truly appreciate the fact that they have decent prices, quality products and are a family running it, not a large corporation having people doing it for them.  I appreciate someone that can make a living by selling and promoting supportive and healthy food to eat than someone earning millions being a corporate manager in Mcmeals Inc., not to diminish them, it’s simply being rather self-aware of the support required in our foods and this business run by the couple/family is the kind of businesses I would like to see more often as well for the betterment of our eating habits too.

    Anyways to not make the whole deal long, it was also very interesting how as I started sharing how I not only dedicate myself to this process of supporting myself and others but investigating solutions for the world system as well. So, the guy said how he had been pondering Why does royalty exist? And yes, now we have something to thank for to the abdicated royal in Spain, having people questioning the existence of ‘royals.’ So I shared a bit on the history of that and we continued talking about the corruption in government, the pedophilia that runs in our government – which is quite well known unlike other places – the freemasons, the elite schools, the standardization of education, pop culture, Disney and the indoctrination of little boys and girls into an early sexualization, the disruption of families, parenting, oh yes parenting which is the main point that we discussed and how important it is also to become an example to the children, and how their very own relationship will become the ‘model’ or example for their children to recreate and how every word, every action mattered when it comes to being the example. 

    The point that worried them the most is not knowing what to exactly do with one of their sons and I explained how I have walked that road exactly. I was highly, highly critical about the world around me – always looking at everything with disgust, even hatred when it came to the church, politics and every other rich person I saw as a culprit for ‘where we are now.’ In essence, I was always blaming  ‘everyone’ in a position of ‘power’ around me instead of actually realizing I was going to get myself nowhere if I remained in such antagonistic stance. This remained like that until I started realizing the ‘role’ I was playing as in wanting change and wanting to get it done outside of myself – but never really consider it was me that had to become such example myself, within myself first.

    The revolutionary thing within Desteni is that we become the actual living proof of what changing your life actually in fact means/implies and ‘looks like’ – obviously not physically but practically speaking of. As I’ve said some other times before, who knows where I would have been right now if I had continued trying to evade my reality and evolving my ego… I am so glad I stopped myself from going literally down that path as I’ve seen in others where it took them and I am certainly in no way regretting the choices I’ve made when they’ve been made in order to support myself. At first it does seem like a ‘big change’ and as these guys said as well, it IS rather difficult to change oneself and also how to live in a society where you have to ‘swim against the tide.’ I explained that certainly at first it was quite a ‘tough time’ but how now it is simply who I am and what I do/live by now and so it’s not any longer something ‘separate’ from me but who I am, it’s become ‘natural’ in a way, which they also confirmed when they explained their perception of myself, including my rather ‘non usual’ look lol. Of course this is not the ‘absolute’ but certainly I do have to be able to recognize that I experience myself mostly stable and that any point that ‘makes me feel uneasy’ it’s just something I cannot stand for that long, I simply start investigating what I did, said, read, didn’t do or felt about something/someone and so see it for what it is. So this means that I no longer can experience myself in a constant ‘state’ or ‘experience’ for that long as I used to before, because now I do direct myself to sort myself out/ to align myself, just because it is so easy to notice when something ‘rocks my waters’ so to speak, and so yes this general stability is what I also see is more of a physical presence that I can then decide to express I an certain manner to interact with others.

    I shared with them that a great benefit from this process is how one ‘gains’ stability, recognizes one’s own ability to change, develops ones own potential, breaks through any pre-determined/limited ideas of ‘what I should be and do as I then focus on my own expansion, breaking through the patterns of the past which have gotten us to the point we are living in now: absolute enslavement as there is really no other word to describe it. We’ve always been slaves in fact, but now it’s just less covered by nicely painted facades.

     

    One aspect that they mentioned about their son which I also can relate to relate to, is how the ideals of a ‘better life’ are created like for example pondering the American or European living standards as ‘the best’ – this is obviously coming from us living in Mexico. I remember this very well too, I used to – believe it or not – also ponder America as this ‘great place’ for some 7 years in my life and dreaming about going there, as well as Germany.  I got rather confused at seeing the evil behind such perceived ‘beauty’ and the kind of ‘art’ that was in fact existent there which was all created based on ideas about power, abuse, gods, reptiles, death and everything that can mean the reverse of life and most likely done by slave-labor work for the ‘less fortunate ones’, so I also then shared how I had to debunk my own ‘ideals’ of what a ‘good life’ currently means and seeing how it was in fact constructed upon, which led me to debunk my delusions of grandeur when it comes to understanding a ‘first world nation’ and instead, being able to understand a ‘first world nation’ in reverse when it comes to measuring this world in self-honesty: the richest are the most abusive, and so I could no longer revere and ‘admire’ any form of royalty, power, exuberance and so-called progress. It’s all been based on abuse so that is there to actually admire there? I certainly got my own understanding on this later in this process when getting to understand the actuality of ‘first world countries’ and the most ‘powerful currencies’ around the world, which I could only then make sense of through this ingrained pattern and program to seek for power, seek for more, seek to dominate and control, just for the sake of the experience thereof. This is the human nature that we have existed as thus far which is the same human nature that can be changed if we actually want to see a change in this world.

    What I shared with these guys was in a considerate manner, not just ‘spilling the beans’ for the sake of it, but seeing how much they were also ‘willing’ to hear based on their questions, what they were interested in getting to know about and so we probably talked about over 2 hours which I had never thought of doing and opening points ‘that far’ with people that I do‘not know’ from other relatives or friends of friends type of situation, which is rather cool because this is what we can probably do more often as well, opening up with the people we ‘buy’ things from or that are in our neighborhoods and besides supporting them with spending our money there – instead of buying some crappy food for some Mr. McRich, I rather support local small businesses that sell quality healthy food and earn a decent living by doing their meals with the necessary care that they also eat from.

    Now this is what I support as well when it comes to buying that which others also sell with the intention of selling something that is beneficial for ourselves, and it is also nice to be able to now open up with them and see how cool It is to see that they are actually quite ‘open minded’ as well and receptive to living principles which they already have to a certain extent so, I’m glad and more than willing to support others that are open and willing to support themselves too – this is what I am here for, this is what I could say I was ‘born’ to do and it’s a rather rewarding and enjoyable too when I can talk to people at length about this, and being genuinely interested because it is in fact what we can all relate to as well, it is what ‘we do’ as human beings. So there’s really No excuse to not have a topic of conversation with any human being, regardless of them being willing to ‘hear and apply it for themselves’ or not. I’ve realized that my point is not to ‘show others’ but to simply live this for myself and so instead have people then asking opening up as I have made the first move to ‘open up’ until one gets to this point in a conversation of  asking for perspectives or wanting to know ‘what I think about…’ and so through sharing perspectives already being opening further points for others to consider too. In the end they were quite grateful for the chat and it’s these moments that certainly can make a greater impact into each other’s lives.

     

    A process I can also share of is the one with my parents who actually are quite supportive of myself and my process, being aware of what I do, what I research about myself, the world system etc. Before I was not able to talk to them for a long time. I treated them as ‘my parents’ and so kept the relationship at distance after having had the typical troubled teenage years of getting to dislike them because of them not approving of my friends/relationships and so gathering a certain amount of resentment to which I then started to ‘rebel against’ never realizing it was all done to myself any ways – which I of course came to realize through walking Mind Constructs.
    So after all these years of also getting them used to me calling them by their name, we’ve gotten to  have a cool communication where I can keep seeing and identifying my own experiences toward them, any reactions or such – but mostly I keep looking within myself to see where I can spot my own patterns in them and so whenever I can, assist and support them to to open up and see what is is that might be occupying their
    mind
    , that is bothering them etc. I have also then been able to learn from them, get to know more about their childhood, how their parents treated them, their own relationships with their parents, their ‘fuckups’ and so forth – I mean it has been quite a healthy process too whereas before I would simply not even talk to them about topics I thought they weren’t interested too. So I also should say that it took a process as well, because the first time I stalked lol ‘talked’ to them about Desteni, my father got so annoyed about me just blurting this information out that he told me he didn’t want to hear anything about it any longer, which I then at such incipient time in my process took it very personal and secluded myself from everyone and everything, something that I recommend Not doing and if I can prevent anyone from doing so, please take it into consideration. We cannot just think that by shutting all our relationships we will ‘walk process better’ – it’s in fact the opposite.

     

    So after all these  years I’ve been able to genuinely say ‘I enjoy going out with my parents’ and having them be opening up as well to everything I have to share while also joking about their own reactions and seeing ‘where it comes from’ and identifying each other’s patterns based on how I am in fact ‘their copy’ lol. So, that’s something I have certainly also seen as my point of extending support to others too, who are also the beings that brought me into this world so it is cool to be able to support them back this way, even to the point of getting to talk more about this process with some of their friends, which was also cool and another point of ‘extending the support onto others’ that want to support themselves too.

     

    I have also lived by the principle of assisting others the way I would like to be supported. I have been participating in forums, writing, public online discussions, assisting people on a one on one basis within the Desteni I Process where through discussing about this reality we can get to support each other to realize points we hadn’t realized yet, and that’s also what’s so valuable about places like YouTube too, where everyone can publish anything as a statement of ‘this is my contribution to the world’ – I am  thankful for everyone that has made videos, documentaries, vlogs and discussions on points that I have learned from and beginning to apply for myself. Gee, who would I be/would we be without the internet and YouTube?  probably a more intricate evolved model of slaves.

     

    Ok, so, I share this day as a glimpse of how through walking this process of self-support one can also open one’s door to share, communicate with others based on the sheer fact of being human beings and speaking the same language in this case. It certainly does create an opening to have people become aware of ways they can support themselves, but it’s not a necessity either. I can speak to people that believe in positive thinking, magic, gods or else and still have a point to communicate about where I simply share my considerations and perspectives about any topic and so through that then open up points that others can decide to further communicate about or not –the point is then not about ‘them hearing’ but me being able to share  with others regardless of ‘their intention’ or else. It’s all about who I am when sharing with others, having the principle before all and have no hidden agendas either  – being frank yet also cautious as to not attack or say something that they can be reactive toward, so measuring my words according to what they also go opening up for themselves.

     

    This is then a series of examples that I can tell I have applied to when it comes to the following principle:

     

    With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

     

    I can self-honestly say that that ‘extra bit’ every day is not yet fully here as myself, so I do have to see where I can generate more ‘openings’ where I expand and actually establish communication with others, instead of expecting people to just ‘knock on my door’ so to speak.

    If all of us did this, we would start seeing how our lives get a new meaning from – as an example but not limited to –  strictly mercantile relationships to actually seeing each other as human beings, for example – and actually considered as a genuine source of change and support. , as it would be then us straightening the very relationships I have toward others.

     

    In this case it’s very simple, a certain gratefulness emerges as I have now also ‘offered’ to support them and share with them from ‘what I do’ as they also then provide me a service that I am also quite thankful of based on what they do, how they do it and the care and quality to it. Now imagine how things can be in this world if we all give the best of ourselves to each other – why waiting for freaking ‘holidays’ for spreading some phony idea of ‘love’ and ‘brotherhood’ when  every single day could be a holiday  if we all put in our ‘little grain’ or seed to make our lives be improved for all parties involved. Well, it is not a fantasy to say: things would change for the better, as it can be in fact be done in reality within the seemingly ‘small’ points, but one thing is certain: we cannot fully measure ‘what will emerge’ from these moments, all that we can know is that it is one little step for oneself, but possibly a huge one for man to get to be kind again.

     

    So: How to best contribute to each other’s lives? By living the principle of first stabilizing and supporting myself to genuinely be able to say ‘I support you the way I would like to be supported in self honesty’ which means in consideration of you and I being in fact equal and one and aiming to live in a way that is best for all.

     

     

     

    Thanks to everyone  at the Farm in South Africa, from where I  learned and got to apply these living principles for the first time among a group of people.

     

    Learn more about how to Live by Principle and  become part of the support-structure required in a world that’s going through a massive wake-up call

     

     


    399. What is Missing in this World for Real Change?

    The Necessity of Living by Principles

    Throughout these past 6 and a half years I have embarked myself to understand more about the reality that I live in and that I most certainly was blinded from to be able to understand. Looking back and ‘putting the pieces together’ many of us – if not everyone and some simply don’t like to give ‘much thought’ into it – actually KNOW there is something profoundly wrong or ‘missing’ in our lives and this world. Yes, I also sought answers in some greater purpose, even in some divine and rather metaphysical concepts that I would simply hold on to because it remained as a comfortable lie that I ‘made sense of’ because it was comfortable and really not that challenging either, it was all about waiting and hoping in fact. But, the reality is that this was all the knowledge trap covered at all ‘fronts’ in the reality we live in to not EVER look in the most obvious place, the one that has always been here and that we have blatantly missed while ‘seeking truths’ or ‘seeking ourselves’ out there somewhere else: ourselves.

    We are in fact living in a crucial time in our lives where the truth is being revealed behind the Veils to genuinely see the principle that has ruled us all thus far: Evil as the reverse of LIFE. I understand this might be rather an uncomfortable truth but for me it was actually the most supporting thing I could ever do, to be willing to understand that our actual nature as human beings is not that of benevolence, dignity, integrity, solidarity, love or else – and we have the blatant proof of that which is our world which we tend to reduce to a power-hunger game missing out the clue of where it all started in the first place, which is within ourselves, our very nature from which the rest of the world-system as we know it and the way we have enslaved each other to be masters and slaves has in fact emerged from: our own necessity to be controlled and to have such controllers, just because we have abdicated our power all along.

    Throughout this process I have worked with – and continue to work on – being able to uncover/dis-cover my true potential that I had sedated and suppressed within personalities, ideas, beliefs of myself of which now I can look back and understand why so many of us still fear to ‘come to the front’ and speak up. Well, for reference of that you can read this blog site you’re on at the moment, I can only briefly say that there’s a massive de-brainwashing to be done in order for us to genuinely start recognizing the Power we all have and yes, ‘power’ as in our ABILITY and CAPACITY to direct ourselves to precisely ‘be the change that we want to see in the world’ which is not a positive-thinking mentality, this IS the Actual Process that it will take for us to genuinely change the foundation of the current ‘world-system’ that we see so ‘far’ from ourselves, not realizing that its very foundation exists/relies and solely exists in the intricacy of every single Though, Emotion and Feeling participation wherein we Allow ourselves to be Governed by the MIND, which is a preprogrammed Consciousness system in which we have only existed as fuzzy-logic survival-mode organic robots from which we have always only learned how to equate our OWN benefit and survival – but never ever learned how to genuinely start consider HOW we affect others with our decisions, our actions, our thoughts.

     

    We have beseeched for ‘clues’ for ‘saviors,’ for a ‘good president’ to come and be our MESSiah, well, yes we have gotten ourselves only further down the rabbit hole because we haven’t yet understood one very basic principle: this world wasn’t founded upon the mercy of any god, it is actually ruled by our collective irresponsible ways that have created the reverse of life and as such it is to understand that: Nothing will change unless, I Change, unless We All make a stand and Change within ourselves and so the change in the without will be an outflow of this starting point which is Self-Change.

    This is how we bring it all Back to Self and see, ok so what have we been Missing all along? What have we been Dissing all along? Living Principles – look at our culture! It’s plagued with vices, violence, revering death and destruction, consumerism, laziness, apathy, insanity, greed, power, sexual depravity, psychological abuse and the initiation of children to this great Consumerist CULTure wherein we have done everything but learning and fomenting ways of how to Honor ourselves as Living Beings –  that is Nowhere to be found!  not within parental education, in schools, in media, in arts, in politics, in religion, nowhere! Everywhere we have tainted ourselves with the same ILLusions of feelings as benevolence, feeling ‘good’ for doing some charities or believing that to Love Humanity means to ‘wish well’ for everyone, without even realizing why we have had the need to create such words as Love that imply only a fluttering experience in your stomach as a sign that Energy is all that we have in fact become within ourselves and toward another – but not life.

    Everywhere I have researched and sought for answers, for a genuine structure of change I only have found further polarized solutions like thinking positively all day and deny ‘all the bad’ in your mind, seeking revenge to ‘the powers that be,’ changing personalities, doing some charity work here and there, be all nice and smiley and hope for better times to come or accept reality ‘as is’…. well, seriously, where are we pretending to get ourselves with that? Nowhere, of course as it’s all based on characters, ideas, self-presentations of ‘who we are’ toward OTHERS and so once again, missing out Who? Ourselves.

    We require to have the actual guts and courage to develop some self-honesty along with having a directive structure and understanding of how it is that through one individual making a decision to stand AS and be Consistent and Congruent on the decision to Live by Principles, we become an Actual Revolution in this world, one that has Never existed before because we have always sought ‘solutions’ in the pre-fabricated Hegelian mentality of Thesis-Antithesis and creating the marvelous polarized and prefabricated upgrade of Synthesis. This has been our problem, still thinking within the same MIND-Construct and framework with which we have Created the problems in the same place.

    Time to get OUT of the BOX as that’s where the illusion exists, that’s where we are governed by ideas, beliefs, fears, feelings and emotions, history, world-system constructs that we have obediently followed to the T out of fear.

    Thinking OUT of the Box implies Living by Principles, doing exactly what you won’t see advertised on the TV, what Isn’t a ‘fashionable trend’ in the media and entertainment,, what would make you feel deeply uncomfortable in the first phases of implementing this as it IS in fact about getting out of our comfort zone, out of the comfort of fears, of resistance to change, or fearing to actually have to step Out of the Box  where we have become obedient slaves and have come to adore as our prison, our own mind – Nothing and no one else but ourselves will cure our Stockholm Syndrome but ourselves.

    So, this is why I have decided to walk the process of Living by Principles, where I have come to realize that I must ‘search no further’ for answers, but that the answer exists and resides within me, within the volition to actually become the point of change I sought outside of myself.

    Hereby I commit myself to live by the following principles that represent me and many more around the world that have taken this oath to themselves in Equality, as the necessity of recognizing our actual power and so living it for the benefit of everyone in this world and existence, in Equality AS Life.

     

    Join us if you agree it’s about time we Think Outside The Box

     

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    The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

    1.       Realizing and living my utmost potential

    2.       Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

    3.       Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

    4.       Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I Take Responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

    5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

    6.       Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment  and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

    7.       Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be Self Honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

    8.       With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

    9.       Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honor and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

    10.    Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

    11.    No one can save you, save yourself – the realization that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

    12.    Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

    13.    Honoring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of Earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

    14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

    15.    Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honor, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

    16.    Realizing that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

    17.    I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my Living Actions, become a Living Example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realize how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

    18.    I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this Living World.

    19.    Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realizing it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

    20.    Realizing that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honor, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

    21.    We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

    22.    The realization that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

    23.    The realization that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

     

    Stop Waiting

     

    Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility for ourselves and so become the foundation for a new world in Equality.


    394. When Calling out Abuse turns into Abuse itself

    When the Offender becomes the Offended

    Continuing from:

     

    In an attempt to ‘save an animal from suffering’ according to me, I created further consequences which I completely disregarded when I in one moment saw the common sense of feeding a dog that was barking for hours on which I came to find eating his own feces while being short-chained to a pole inside his owner’s house. Little did I consider that I was ‘infringing private property’ when being opened the door by, let’s call it ‘a tenant’ of the owner’s house through which I got access to give food to the dog and so stop him from wailing over hours end. His water covered with a plastic plate and he had begun to lick his own feces to what I believe was to mitigate his hunger.
    At the sight of this, I ran to my house and got food for him, gave it to him until I was satisfied that he had stopped wailing/barking asking for food. So, where were the owners? It’s not the first time this happens which is why I decided to ‘take the matter in my own hands’ without realizing that later on I would have the backlash of a threat by the owners, saying I was barging into private property, attacking their child and directly affecting the neighbor that leases the space from the dog owners, who also happens to be a lawyer.

    An hour or so afterward  I saw when another member of the house got in and so I ran to tell her how inhumane it is to leave the dog that way and if she would like to be tied to a pole and be so hungry that she would resort to licking her own feces – she agreed it is not. There was a kid with her, around 8-9 years old that is ‘the responsible’ one because he’s got the duty to feed the dog and didn’t feed him because ‘he could not find the scissors.’ I repeated the same thing to him: Would YOU like to be that dog tied to the pole and having no food or water so that you resort to lick and eat your own poo? He said no and so I said then why are you treating your dog that way? Well, apparently the child got scared and complained  to his parents about what I said.

    This then turned into a third scenario where I got both parents coming at my door, quite pissed off telling me how dare I talk like that to their child? I repeated the same words, the same expression to them and within the context and reason for it of leaving a dog that certainly has no voice to ask for food without being fed and wailing for hours end to the point where it is unbearable – and I had a live conference starting soon which would come through if he would have remained without eating according to me.

    Mother admits ‘You might be right on that’ about not feeding the dog…. BUT! how dare I talk to her child like that? Oh well, I see no problem on that, who else will let the child know the consequences of his irresponsibility if it’s not pointed out by the creators of the child of course, the parents in this case?

     

    So here a few points for context. The reality of the matter is that there is an innumerable quantity of beings that are going hungry and just because they don’t bark and wail, I don’t go trying to ‘rescue them.’ The reality is in fact that the noise was so unbearable to me that I reacted to the incessant barking, just like when listening to children being hit and yelled at by the parents next door – but there I cannot go knock the door and ‘save the children’ nor do I want to, because I understand the generational abuse we’ve all become as human beings wherein parents only learn how to ‘educate’ with slaps and screaming at children – but, according to ‘me’ to do this ‘against an animal’ that means an innocent/voiceless individual that cannot have his own lawyer to sue the irresponsible owners for ‘not being fed’ and left alone at home tied with a 50 cms chain to a pole, and so eating his own feces, is simply unacceptable. That is actually the me as the ‘savior’ talking about what I come to become aware of, because this is also happening to human beings and virtually every living being that is being deprived of any form of dignity and living rights, resorting to do the unimaginable just to calm the pain from hunger and finding some form of security – have I then gone and immediately ‘sorted out the problem? No

    More so: was my 10 minute visit to the dog to feed him going to solve the problem? No, because I’m not the owner of the dog and as such I have no direct control as to whether he’s going to be fed properly from here on either.

     

    What I actually reacted the most is seeing such hideous view of the skinny dog licking his feces, but I would not have known if it hadn’t been initially triggered by the high pitched barking that I was being annoyed with and pondering why is no one seeing what is wrong with him? And yes, it seems it has become part of the ‘soundtrack’ around here wherein it no longer raises questions as to why dogs bark that way – and here it is to realize it is the result of an entire socioeconomic situation where poor/lower class means less ‘education’ about how to educate themselves, their children and consequently how to handle pets/animals and so treating them with the meaning of ‘animal’ which is contextually and culturally accepted as ‘less than’ or less of a living being, which is  perplexing, but I realized this when drawing the parallel between a human and a dog and having people almost not consider at all that the dog is a sentient living being just like themselves …..

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame people for being so abusive and inconsiderate to their animals, without placing this situation into context as to  seeing the environment they are living in, the entire socioeconomic and educational context, the information or the lack of it in order to take ‘good care’ of animals wherein I complain about ‘the abuse that others commit unto their animals’ without first considering how it is in fact a collective abuse that I am also a part of as I am also an equal part of everything and everyone that is here

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as negligent while being angry at them for leaving the dog without any food or accessible water, without realizing that in fact the first trigger was the high pitch barking and that with this sound I was actually first getting annoyed and rather concerned about ‘what could be happening to him that he’s wailing and barking so much?’ which was then in part knowing that he might be hungry, but also wanting him to shut up, which means that

     

    I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to admit that I actually first got more annoyed by the dog barking than being genuinely concerned about him being unfed as this was only realized afterward when I peeked into the house and saw him licking his feces, which is when I then triggered the anger due to the ‘inconsiderate owners’ that leave their pet to starve – without wanting to draw the parallel for myself to see how I as a member of this humanity, of everything and everyone that is here, I’ve committed the same atrocity in justifying, excusing and accepting the normalcy of poverty, of hunger and of crimes against life that go beyond not providing food to beings, but actually the entire disenfranchisement from each other’s living right to live in dignity, and more so toward the beings we share the Earth with as all the animals that we’ve enslaved for our benefit.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self to place myself in the character of ‘the savior’ and the ‘good and righteous one’ wherein I absolutely ignored potential consequences of doing what I believe is ‘right’ without considering the current structure and general considerations of the world-system I am still living into, where all ways of avoiding taking responsibility at a legal manner can be used against me, instead of rather recognizing the fault and remediate it.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after the event happened I said to myself I haven’t learned a thing, I did it again’ because I had previous experiences of seeing animal abuse specifically toward dogs and then confronting their owners, in which I sometimes placed myself in rather risky situations because of not knowing how the ‘owners’ will react to me confronting them with the question of ‘would you like to be treated like that if you were a dog?’ and so, within this I have to once again realize that even if this time I wasn’t with the owners and believing that I was doing a ‘good thing’ by feeding him, even expecting to be ‘thanked’ by the owners, this is only me and my mind because no one really likes to be told about their mistakes and faults, and so it was rather negligent by myself to involve other individuals in this situation without Any regard to the actual consequences, taking others minds into consideration and this went on just because I only considered ‘feeding the dog’ as a ‘good thing’ and so having him shut up as ‘fulfilling my point’ with the situation.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once again as I was talking to the neighbor, one of the ‘owners’ but not the direct owner of the dog, I went into yelling at the end based on seeing that they didn’t respond in any sort of ‘shame’ or ‘regret’ that I was expecting from them upon hearing that their dog was eating their own feces because he wasn’t fed

    I realize that I actually then was attempting to have them react in order to believe that ‘they would feel bad and so learn the lesson to not leave their dog unfed’ – but, the reality is that they seemed to not care that much  about it, and simply responding that no they would not like to be in the dog’s shoes but essentially shutting the door at me, which is why I got yelling and pissed off at them saying I would call to animal services for a legal complain if this went on again.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my anger in that moment was justified because ‘they were ignoring me and my complain about THEIR abuse’ which is in fact simply ‘they were ignoring ME’ and so this is why I reacted with anger

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a shocked and rather upset experience when seeing how the owner had taken the point I explained about the dog and how they used it only to come and ‘get back at me’ for apparently attacking their child, which is obviously non sense if by ‘attack’ they mean me asking the boy if he’d like to be tied to a pole and having to eat his feces as food for lacking any real food – within this pondering what can be so shocking about a human doing that if they are allowing their dog to do that, so why are dogs not seen as equals as humans? Not realizing that in this assessment I was rather naively considering that human beings regularly see animals as equals to humans, which is really not the case yet at all, so

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at the mother of the child when my words were seen as an ‘attack’ because of describing the scene of their dog and placing their son in the position of the dog as a parallel to understand his irresponsibility,  which to me seems like the most normal thing to do, but I ‘forgot’ to consider other human beings’ mentalities where they do not yet see and consider animals as one and equal to human beings and instead parents take any word given to their children very personally, so

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually look back at myself and how I once was also a child that was taught to leave dogs outside and really see them as beings I had to consider as inferior even though I actually thought they would also ‘feel’ – which in turn got me into believing that dogs shouldn’t be eating along with humans, dogs shouldn’t be sitting on tables or any other animal for that matter and seeing them as ‘filthy’ because that is what I also as a child got to learn about animals and so also then creating my own superiority and inferiority scheme toward animals myself.

    I realize that to me it has taken a long process to be able to equalize myself to animals, to pass from the fear toward animals, the disgust toward animals, to the consideration of animals as equals as myself. Therefore what I’ve also pondered is how by me reacting in such a way toward certain situations of animal abuse, it is me really trying to make up for my previous ideas and beliefs of animals being inferior, filthy, less worthy beings than human beings which is how I was taught to treat animals as well, therefore

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize the dog in an attempt to make the owners feel bad about their dog, without realizing that in this only managing the situation at an emotional level, I am only trying to manipulate people to consider common sense while wanting them to feel bad about it, instead of realizing that I could have explained it within a more stable manner which is where I still have to work on when it comes to seeing a point of abuse and not justifying my anger due to ‘the abuse’ as this will only put people’s guard on and so create an even greater conflict, instead of having managed the situation in a much more subtle and calmed-down manner, which means in stability, pointing out the situation without directly ‘blaming’ them.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my anger toward neighbors based on the abuse that I see that they have imposed onto their dog as a result of what I’ve called negligence and simple carelessness toward their dog, without realizing that I through this judgment I then separate myself from the abuse imposed, not realizing that I have also been negligent toward life in many many forms and ways on a daily basis, even in an unawareness point as I am a part of everything and everyone that is here and this world is nothing else but the equation of abuse that we are all living in and co-existing in because we have are so separated from life itself, that we are barely or not even aware at all of all the consequences and abuse that we cause each other on a daily basis, not only through evident things like leaving over 30 thousand children to starve each day, but the multiple relationships of abuse with which we have ensured we don’t even regard, consider each other as equals to begin with, like money as a belief system that supports inequality and greed for example.

     

    I realize that by becoming so enraged with a point of abuse, I am only utilizing it as a point to lash out on my own accumulated anger at the problems, the abuse that I see around here and had accumulated from hearing the neighbors yelling or probably hitting their children, alcohol abuse, no regard toward neighbors, no regard toward having animals in a suitable condition and generally the complacency and law of least effort that I have judged this environment I’m living in with, wherein I continually ‘lose faith in humanity’ when observing at people’s actions, words, bodies, deeds, ways of interacting and so within this building up an unspoken frustration and annoyance about ‘them’ and ‘the world’ without realizing that such experiences only exist within me first and so they are MY responsibility to take care of and stop fueling within me such experiences, and so continue directing myself to be a point of support for any individual that does want to support and assist themselves as myself to become better human beings.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by my environment at the level wherein I act irrationally and not consider all outflows and potential points that could open up by me doing something that ‘I’ have defined as ‘good’ and as something that will benefit a suffering individual, without realizing that in this, I am in fact only looking at me-myself and actually my self-interest because I have only wanted to ensure that I can get the dog quiet and get the environment without so much noise that was coming from various parts, which I have taken as an excuse to get angry at the noise that actually only bothers me in fact, therefore

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by noises like dogs barking, music from neighbors and so not really being entirely living up to my commitments to remain stable while listening to noises around me, and allowing me to be unsettled when children cry, when dogs bark, when music is on and so going into a victimized state of ‘the environment that annoys me’ instead of realizing that the reactions all stem from me and as such I am the only one that can take responsibility for myself to remain stable without being affected by noises outside.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt within the possibility of the child really feeling attacked by me, and in this realizing that guilt does nothing but instead the actual solution would be to simply let go of it and rather confront the child and explain why I said such words and as such be able to explain that my intention was not that of an attack, but rather of a direct illustration of what his dog was going through just because he couldn’t feed him.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bash’ myself with all the past 3 memories of talking directly to dog owners about the abuse that I saw they were inflicting on their dogs, wherein I simply believe that ‘I can’t stop myself’ from doing something upon witnessing such dog abuse’ – though, if I look at it closely, this entire reality is in fact the sole manifestation of abuse and harm and neglect toward one another at levels that have become unfortunately invisible to all of us, therefore I realize that I am an equal part of this collective negligence that I’ve simply attached an emotional reaction to in order to make myself the ‘righteous’ one, the one that ‘sees the abuse’ specifically keeping an irregular eye on ‘dogs’ and ‘dog abuse’ without realizing that I am doing nothing really when it comes to first stopping the abuse within myself completely as the emotional reaction upon abuse, and so giving myself a moment to consider the ‘greater perspective’ and the context of such point of ‘abuse’ so that I can consider all the outcomes, possible outflows of me exposing a point of abuse within the confrontation with the owners.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where beings can be ‘owned’ and as such being so separate from everything that is here that dogs cannot even be heard or understood by people, which is yet another outflow of us only living in our little bubbles in the mind in self-interest which is then where I see my point of abuse actually still exists in.

     

    Here I have to realize that I am in this world system wherein there are greater ways to ‘get back at someone’ for something, rather than doing any real form of ‘justice’ as we haven’t even really lived justice within ourselves as individuals that have a mind and a body that should exist within the alignment and principle of what is best for all, and we haven’t done that at all just yet – therefore, how can I ask such principles and considerations to others if I haven’t yet lived by those myself?

    Now, within the context of the abuse toward the dog. It is so, it is a form of abuse however there could have been other ways for me to expose the situation and solve the problem, therefore:

    When and as I see myself building up a reaction of annoyance upon hearing the dog barking and wailing and having an experience of frustration and irritation about the dog’s sound – I stop myself, and I breathe – and I practice on remaining stable so as to not make the dog’s sound a ‘noise’ within myself as something ‘disturbing’ and instead focus on how I can rather be stable within me regardless of dogs barking, babies/children crying incessantly or loud music playing around.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just now think ‘that’s a real challenge’ which in this I am already ‘giving into ‘ failing at my correction and believing that the noises, dogs barking loudly and incessantly, babies crying and children yelling incessantly is something ‘I just cannot stop reacting to’ which is here then believing that my mind and my reactions are more powerful than my ability to remain stable which then is something that I have to commit myself to prove to myself, that I can remain stable even with the most constant sounds around me, which is something I haven’t yet fully committed myself to live by.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define children crying as annoying and irritable, without considering that in fact what I get most reactive about is the behaviors and abuse that triggers it such as parents hitting or yelling at the children – and in this

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react at a situation of parental abuse, without realizing that this is a point that will take time to sort out in humanity as we’ve lived generation after generation with the same patterns and mentality of parents as children’s authority and that ‘education’ equals yelling, hitting, screaming, threatening and instilling fear, which is pretty much the way the entire world system operates wherein we’ve learned that we can only exist within a relationship of oppression and having to obey upon the threat of punishment.

    Therefore I realize that I have to stop reacting to any point of abuse either toward animals or children as the most evident forms of abuse that I see around me, because within this I am also singling them out and neglecting the overall abuse that we create and participate in every single day beginning with the participation in the dictatorship of my mind, my experiences and belief systems that affect each other equally, such as the money system, the political system, the self-religion systems and personalities in which we have all abdicated our responsibility to life and instead have kept each other in bubbles, fighting each other instead of realizing that the more we fight and complain and get angry at each other, the more we miss out the point of recognizing a point of abuse as ourselves and so focusing on rather creating ways to make each other aware of the situation, create solutions and recognize equal responsibility to all forms of abuse that we tend to ‘point out’ only toward others, neglecting the fact that it is oneself doing and imposing such abuse, as we are all in fact one and equal.

     

    When and as I see myself wanting to go and ‘solve a problem’ wherein I have to  practically go an enter someone else’s house and intend to give food to a dog I don’t know even his eating habit, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am in fact becoming possessed by my urgency to simply ‘get rid of the barking’ which happens in a similar manner when I attempt to go and ask neighbors to shut up, because I have to now consider what invading private property is and the consequences thereof, who I get involved into my desire to ‘solve the problem’ and as such cause them conflicts and potential loss just because of wanting them to be participating in what I see is a ‘good deed’ such as feeding a hungry dog and ignoring even the fact that I was really not allowed in with permission, nor did I consider the fact that the dog could have been allergic to some of the foods I gave him.

    Therefore I commit myself to rather first stabilize myself, ensure that I am stable instead of acting based on reaction or wanting to get rid of ‘the annoyance’ – then I can if I see that the dog is barking incessantly, then I can go and knock the door and ask politely if the dog is doing well because I hear him barking and wailing too much. If the owners are not at home, then I simply have to wait and see if they arrive – if not then I can ask other neighbors around to see if they know what to do in such cases or if there is anyone that is allowed to feed the animal. If not, then I would resort to asking the same neighbors to simply give him something to eat, and not enter myself into the house. If this doesn’t work and the situation is going on for several hours then I will call animal services to ask for them as a legal authority to witness the point of abuse.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within me wanting to ‘call out a point of abuse’ I actually also involved others that initially would not have involved themselves in the situation, and all because I heard the dog barking loudly and I wanted some silence because I required to record. I realize that I have to be able to slow myself down even when I am witnessing the most hideous form of abuse going on and to ensure I am not acting based on reaction or desperation and justifying my ‘doing all I can’ due to seeing a point of abuse, as in that I am not measuring the contextual consequences, but only looking within the limited range scope of ‘soothing the animal’s pain’ and also having him shut up, which is the point of self interest that I also commit myself to not react to, and instead place the point of abuse into context, seeing beyond the most ‘obvious’ forms of abused I’ve usually made it ‘normal’ to react to, such as abuse toward children from their parents and abuse toward animals, mostly dogs by their owners.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘abuse’ as negative and within this charge then justifying any and all actions that I then ‘take on’ in order to stop this point of defined abuse with a negative charge, which means that in this, what I will do to ‘fix the problem’ is charged in a positive manner, without realizing that I am only reacting to the situation at an emotional level and as such not really placing into context the point of abuse and who is involved so that I can first dialogue with people and whoever is involved in the situation, before making the abrupt and rather irresponsible decisions that do have consequences that I had not at all considered, such as people complaining about barging into private property and threatening with a legal case upon this, which is of course another form of instilling fear which is the same fear we have become so used to reacting in order to comply to the roles we have endowed with a form of ‘superiority’ and ‘power’ over others, such as lawyers

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in the moment when I heard the father saying that he’s a lawyer go into a reaction of fearing consequences if he decides to act upon the situation, not realizing that this fear only comes from the idea of a lawyer and how as a child I would see the lawyers as the defenders of either the ‘bad side’ or ‘the good side’ according to who’s paying them and so, going into later on the whole reaction toward the ‘justice’ that exists in this world where the ones that have the most influences and positions of power are the ones that will most likely decide ‘who is right’ and ‘who’s the culprit’ based on convenience without any real common sense and consideration for the people.

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with disbelief when it comes to realizing how a point of ‘calling out the abuse on another’ suddenly turned into a potential consequence for me, without realizing that in this I am participating into fear of ‘what will happen’ but also, neglecting the first point of abuse which is what is the main point within this all which is what triggered all the other reactions which is: animal abuse

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be angry toward animal abuse, not realizing that animals as every other part of this reality and existence are also part of myself, my responsibility and so it is not to see only as ‘certain individuals’ as the culprits within this, but rather understand the relationships of abuse that we’ve created within the very words we speak, and so within the systems we create with which we have allowed ourselves to be directed and controlled by, just because we had all neglected and not even considered taking responsibility for ourselves and our own creation.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to access the memories of previous moments where I witnessed dog abuse and use that as a way to bash me and say how I haven’t changed at all because I still reacted to the dog being abused, without realizing that in this I am neglecting everything else of myself and bashing me because of ‘failing’ at applying myself within the correction of not giving into anger upon witnessing animal abuse – specifically dogs being abused by their owners – and remaining stable – which is then something that I do not have to feel bad about, but simply see where and how I am still missing that moment, that point of stopping myself from wanting to expose the abuse or take the matter into my own hands, as that is essentially also based on solving the abuse so that ‘I’ don’t have to either witness it or ‘feel bad about it’ or be ‘annoyed’ by it, which is then once again proof that I have mostly only cared about that which directly affects me and that it is within this selfishness that the ‘caring for another living being’ also started.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel better’ about myself after feeding the dog, as if that was going to ‘change the dog’s life’ or reality when in fact I gave it from the starting point of wanting him to shut up and so stopping licking his own feces, which is something that still isn’t entirely based on ‘supporting another’ but rather stemming from me and my need for the dog to keep quiet, which is self-interest.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an authority that can ‘call on’ abuse to others upon witnessing it, without realizing that I haven’t yet become that for myself absolutely and so I am in no way able to be the ‘authority’ toward others and believe that I am ‘doing the right thing’ when my starting point for calling out the abuse is to actually inflict some fear and regret so that they can actually change, therefore I realize that If I create a reaction within people, then there’s less possibility for them to actually listen to that point as they go into defense mode, therefore

    When and as I see myself wanting to talk to another about a point of abuse I consider is ‘their responsibility’ I stop and I breathe and I look at how I can approach the situation in a way wherein I place myself in their shoes as well and approach them the way I would like to be approached if  I was the one creating such problem. This doesn’t mean be too condescending either, but simply without the tonality of being demanding and showing anger at them in an attempt to make them feel bad, but rather in a very direct and stable manner point out the abuse, then see if they/we would want to be in the shoes of dogs and so consider that next time they plan on leaving the house – which is then giving context to the abuse and seeing the importance of taking care of animals. I did manage to do this at first but upon seeing their reactions, I then escalated the drama to make them react so

    When and as I see myself wanting to see people feeling bad and feel guilty about their actions, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this I compromise myself upon wanting people to react which in turn I use to escalate the situation by becoming angry ‘at them’ which won’t change the situation at all – therefore I only focus on remaining stable no matter how hideous the situation is, as I now have to take into consideration them, their minds, their ability to ‘get back at me’ if they feel offended as well and so I ensure I do not attack, do not show emotion but simply point out the abuse for what it is in stability.

     

    I realize that I might say ‘well they should have known by now how to care about the animal’ but, how many times have I told myself I have to be ‘stable when witnessing animal abuse’ and still fell for the reaction of it and even if I was more stable, still justifying my actions within the context of doing a favor for the owners and the dog and also as an attempt to stop the dog from barking which was the reason why I felt that I could not wait any longer for me to establish proper communication with the owners of the dog.

     

    When and as I see myself reacting upon dog abuse /animal abuse,. I stop and I breathe – I commit myself to place this abuse into context and realizing that I have reduced ‘abuse’ to only children and animals, without realizing that it is all our relationships that exist at the moment as they exist are founded upon abuse. Therefore, I commit myself to stop diminishing abuse to a few living beings and instead rather place into context the abuse, how and why it exists, take into consideration other people’s minds, their predictable reactions and really consider all of this before making any decision on what I will do to stop or prevent the situation, otherwise I become part of the chain of abuse wherein my ‘calling out for abuse’ is then seen as an abuse in itself, based on the reaction that I created at the end of my complain, which is how I also realize that emotions will only ever escalate and complicate the problems and offer no solutions at all.

     

    Therefore I commit myself to remain stable whenever I witness any point of abuse as I realize that if I react, then I miss out the actual moment to contextualize the point of abuse, see who is involved, assess what I am aiming at doing about it, how I could get potentially affected in a vendetta manner if calling out such abuse and also ensure that as I communicate with those directly involved in the point of abuse, I remain stable and considerate toward their own reactions, their minds, their beliefs, their contexts which I might not be fully looking at, understanding or even conceiving at the moment.

     

    I commit myself to mostly practice remaining stable and in self-honesty whenever I hear the dogs barking and wailing incessantly, when children or babies are crying, when loud music is playing as all of these are points that lead to a form of abuse linked to it such as parental abuse with the crying and alcohol/drug abuse with the loud music, which is where I then have to stop judging such habits and behaviors, and instead rather stop my own emotions that are in fact the same source and cause of the emotional experiences and behaviors I am in fact initially reacting about.

     

    I realize that yes, any abuse is always self abuse and so reacting with an energetic experiences Is in fact the first abuse – but even if one is stable while ‘calling out the abuse,’ it’s very important to consider the ‘offender’s’ mentality, their possible reactions and also stick to ‘the margin’ when it comes to not getting into people’s houses if not being directly invited in for example and now integrate possible legal consequences within everything that I do as that’s another way in which we have imprisoned ourselves in our system: through a two tier justice system where real crimes against humanity are not even part of the ‘files’ in courts around the world, but have only reduced abuse to the one we see ourselves as human beings being affected by, without realizing that it is actually not about ‘me’ but about everything, everyone, each relationship we form that determines the nature of ‘our ways’ in which we relate to other human beings, animals and this entire world that is equally alive.

     

     

    To learn more on how to prevent and stop Self-Abuse, visit:


    393. To Live Courage in the At-Most-Fear

     

    DSC01826

     

    If there’s one thing required to walk this process of self-honesty is courage, is having the guts to be able to live a different starting point that we have been taught-into throughout our entire existence, which is  to live in fear, to not take risks, to ‘play safe’ in the game, to follow the rules, to avoid any form of punishment and as such never really challenge the status quo.

    I remember that I would have to ‘pull up my socks’ so to speak when it came to being able to be frank and direct to see my own hidden agendas, the reasons why I chose to be and become a particular personality, why I would like and dislike things, why I would dress in a particular way, why I would stash so much knowledge on certain fields and not others, how I wanted to be seen and validated by others according to the great lie I could construct and build up as part of a general process that we even encourage in our society, which is that of ego-creation/personalities in order to satisfy an idea of oneself being valuable in the world-market where everything we do and say can be sold and bought as part of the merchandise that we produce every single day in a world, where life is not really lived, but bought and sold too.

    So the moment that one starts challenging the whole starting point of ‘who I am’ from the achievement of personal glory and fame or ultimate recognition by ‘others’ and so be apparently ‘powerful’ in society, one is faced with the challenge of having to actually do things for the sake of oneself – not for another, not for gaining a prize or a ‘good mark’, or a ‘good position’ for the sake of being above others – but because one actually decides to stop existing in such superior/inferior survival mode of fighting against each other and instead, one realize that one can in fact stop living in the constant competition and struggle to ‘get to the top’ by fearing not ‘getting to the top’ and so realize that these hierarchical structures have only been ideas, constructs in our minds that we’ve imprinted within us from the very first moments we begin comparing ourselves to others and begin quantifying and valuing things and people as more-than or less than ourselves.

    It’s interesting that I hadn’t looked at the ability to stop living in such more-than/less-than mentality of survival and fear as something that requires courage, because it actually implies no longer being motivated by fear of having/not having or being more-than/ less-than something or someone while fueling the desire to be more than, which are general constructs that we usually keep our entire societies running with. In my case I saw the common sense of stopping that constant requirement to be ‘validated by others’ and/or expecting recognition, which actually implies having the courage to do things for myself in a world where we’re taught that we always have to focus on doing it for the sake of something and someone else only, to get a certain job/position in the system, to get more fame and recognition, to obtain a relationship, to be granted some form of tribute, to appear as ‘more than’ at all times, which in turn  we create the nature of the system where this constant ‘struggle’ is seen as “success” because we have never actually valued who we really are for what we are already, for what we are able to live and conduct as a matter of self-direction instead of having to ‘fit it’ into schemes of validation that don’t support life. We don’t value self-honesty yet as a principle to focus on developing as our new human nature, but instead we value the ability to cheat, deceive and ‘get ahead of others’ as intelligence or cunningness, which is entirely twisted and non-supportive as we can see. We have always measured everything against a flawed system of values that in no way correspond to promoting doing meaningful things to precisely change the status quo of fear and complacency that we have remained as throughout our human history.

    By simply making the decision to challenge and slowly but surely change everything that we have ever thought ourselves to be, one requires a massive amount of courage because we’re essentially recognizing that we will go nowhere if we remain in our comfort-zone, in our ‘known ways’ that have perpetuated this culture of fear, apathy, complacency and an upside-down set of values that in no way support the discovery and living realization of who we really are as the potential of life. All we’ve ever done is fear, survive and ‘get through the days’ with the most we can – is that living? No, and certainly challenging this doesn’t mean ‘drop-out of the system’ or ‘fight against the powers that shouldn’t be’ but it is in fact to begin identifying How have I become my own limitation, how have I continued to ‘play the game’ that I know is not supportive for myself and others in this world, where we are able to participate and through our living-behavior become the practical example of living principles that are best for all. To stop fear, to stop fearing taking risk means to be able to step outside of the ‘known zone’ and be able to make a stand to no longer ‘follow’ but rather take the wheel and plan our lives  in a different way, so that while we are still living in an unpredictable situation when it comes to money, our own ability to remain alive the next day, we can be fully responsible and directive when it comes to establishing solutions day by day. And solutions cannot be created when we hold on to the fear of ‘who I would be’ or ‘what I would create’ as a future projection, but instead simply live it, test it out, try it out, taking the risks because we fear making decisions to change the aspects that we already know are detrimental to our lives and in that, we already abdicate our power to change things, without even trying first.

    So this is to also remind myself that the moment that I hold myself back is actually a point of fear that I have to investigate, a point where I am still driving myself through the imprinted and memorized survival mode, the status quo, the ‘chains of the past’ that I have to open up and find out where it is that I am still attached to what I often complain as ‘the obstacle’ to move or do something, what am I holding onto, or what do I fear losing by doing it and in this realizing that I am the only one that can be such obstacle through ideas, beliefs and perceptions of what is holding me back, what isn’t allowing me to ‘do’ or ‘be’ something, wherein I have used something/someone as an excuse to limit my direction, my change, to develop myself to my utmost potential.

    Here it is thus to utilize that little ‘spark’ of life that I have and to not allow myself to ‘overpower’ it with the ball and chain that I’ve created as things, people, institutions, systems that I’ve seen as ‘the problem’ and realize that no one is actually responsible for my limitation but myself, my own fear and that nothing can in fact limit me as long as I am capable of doing, learning, communicating, moving myself beyond my perceived boundaries and so realize that instead of perpetuating the limitation of what I perceive ‘society’ or ‘the system’ to be, I take the stand to realize it’s always been me, myself and so no more accept and allow myself to live As the limitation, as the limited aspect of myself, as the complacency and apathetic piece of mind that I’ve lived as, because I realize that if I allow myself to hinder my expression based on an idea, belief or perception I have of something or someone and how ‘it affects me’ I am not taking responsibility for what I realize I have to do which is to move, to take a stand, to live the courage to ‘swim against the current’ which doesn’t mean ‘fighting’, but certainly a self-motivated decision to walk through the sea of limitations I’ve built around a point I’ve defined as ‘difficult’ or ‘challenging’ to me –  I realize this will be the only way to actually step out of fears and discover the potential that I have buried with my self-limitations of who/what I believe I should be to perpetuate the ‘idea of myself’ in relation to others.

    This is about myself, what I decide to live, to motivate me to do things for myself, to not do something to be valued or validated within the system, but to do it as part of me walking a point into completion and this is not limited to ‘tasks,’ but to everything that I decide to live and become, to live As the determination to get something done, to become the solution that I so many times have complained is so necessary in this world.

    So, here’s to the commitment to live courage in the Earth’s At-Most-Fear and so transform my apathy and lack of perseverance into a self-determination, focus and consistency to do it for my self, to challenge myself, to not allow my preprogrammed-limitations to still define ‘who I am’ as I see that’s the biggest problem we face in the world right now: not wanting to challenge ourselves and our starting point of living.

    And so, I commit myself to do that which I have defined as ‘limiting’ because in limiting myself form doing ‘such limitation’ I am fin act only perpetuating the limitation in itself based on fear of not fitting into those limitations – lol.

    So this is the real revolution, the change we can implement and follow-through within ourselves – there’s no ‘government’ outside of ourselves but only the one we can implement as self-direction in what we think and do in consideration of what is best for myself and all equally.

     

    I got a new pen - 2014

     

    Suggested Interview:

    Accessing your Full Potential (Part 2) – Reptilian Series – 178

     

    Suggested Article:

    Jack – The Courage to live Self-Honestly

    To learn more on how to live Courage and Self-Honesty, visit:


    392. Why are Emotional Relationships a Fuckup?

    Continuing from:

     

    “So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools that I can apply to what I am doing now.” From 387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

     

    Nostalghia

     

    Facing Myself, my Relationships through the Relationship with Art

    I suggest to read:  What does it Mean to Have a Relationship with Oneself? – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 608 by Andrew Gable

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationships based on emotions and feelings wherein it doesn’t matter whether it is arts or a person or a responsibility or a place, the moment that I create emotional and feeling attachments to places/people/objects/professions then I begin creating my own trap through definitions based on what I believe that ‘I like’ and what I believe is ‘my thing’ based on nothing else but emotions, feelings, experiences that I went attaching toward something/someone over time, and then believing that I am in fact all of these experiences, emotions and feelings in relation to something or someone, without realizing that such experiences cannot define what such something or someone is in fact, as it is all entirely self-created, it is me-myself that has created this experience within me.

    Within this premise, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately automate the words ‘my relationship to/with something/someone’ being defined as an experience that I have built toward something or someone instead of the actuality of how I participate, interact with, communicate with /through something or someone and within that realizing that any experience that I create is entirely my own and has nothing to do with that something or someone but myself at all times.

    Therefore I realize that the projections upon ‘art’ is in fact the experience that I have created toward the who I was within that time of my life when I chose to study art and that If I were to place myself within that same frame of mind 7 years ago, I would probably still go for that choice in life, which means that it is a decision I made entirely based on what I wanted to experience and who I wanted to be as a personality, an ego and satisfy my drive that I went building up throughout time to ‘make it’ within the art world – so this point I have opened up before however now I am able to see that it has nothing to do with ‘art’ in itself, I’ve made of art the excuse to project my own judgments toward my decisions, the way that I established relationships toward this something that I ‘built myself’ around, and as such because I realized I could not continue constructing myself as ‘an artist’ within the initial ideals I had, then I acted in spite and begun regretting and embarrassed by my choices in life as I see them as ‘useless’ without realizing that I was actually reacting at all the various others things I did in my life throughout that time of which I cannot be proud of either and that I cannot certainly recognize as ‘myself’ any longer so

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the relationships that I built with people and with specifically my career as ‘arts’ which in fact reflect all the choices in my life, the people that I chose to surround myself with and that I cannot really judge myself for who I was back then as back then I had no awareness of the points I am aware now.

    So I realize that I have to stop being ‘hard’ on myself based on this hidden-experience of having ‘the past haunting me,’ and so be able to finally let go of it as I do not have to re-enact this kind of shame or embarrassment about myself, my past relationships, my emotionally-driven decisions in life because it is to realize that back then I didn’t know any other way – and so instead I am grateful to be able to be here writing myself, having deviated from ‘the path’ that I had initially chosen as god knows where the hell I would be if I had followed through my ‘lifestyle’ and the relationships I built around the same ego and personality that I was. I rather see and recognize that I’ve definitely moved on from that phase of my life, but! Also realizing that every time that I create an experience toward any memory, any relationship, any past choice including my decision to study arts, I recreate the entire network of ‘the who I was’ in my past and as such I continue enslaving myself to those relationships and only fuel the negative experiences that are the opposite polarity to the initial positive experiences that I used to build my relationships with people and with the profession/career I was veering myself toward.

    And within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to follow the usual pattern within the mind which is ‘dissing’ something once that one has squeezed the last drop of positive experience out of it, which means that once that it ‘served me’ and ‘its purpose’ and I’ve hit the ground back into reality about it and I am no longer seeing visions based on emotional and feeling experiences, then I go into the opposite polarity of talking bad about it and feeling righteous within that, without realizing that it is only the predetermined and rather predictable outcome from an initial positive experience that I created with such ‘passion’ about it that when the whole experience was no more, I ‘dropped’ down to the bottom and the opposite – so it happened just like a typical relationship wherein people first get in love with each other and as time progress and the energy runs dry, they part ways and talk shit about each other, so that’s what I did toward ‘art,’ and I didn’t even realize it because to me it was so right that it hadn’t fulfilled my expectations that I believed I had ‘the right’ to feel that way about it, without seeing the obvious: it was a feeling, an emotion, a judgment that came from nothing else but the ‘who I was’ toward art and so, within this ‘dissing’ recreating my past relationship to art over and over again – trapping myself in my own past.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form emotional relationships toward what I deemed as ‘my career’ or ‘my path’ which in this case was art/being an artist and within this allow a physical process to become a rather emotionally driven relationship, similar to those that I’ve walked with individuals wherein there are a lot of feelings and emotions attached to something/someone that I want to hold onto and when the relationship is no more, such dependency then turns into a ‘lack’ of this fulfillment gotten from something or someone and as such, it turns into a form of bitterness ‘toward something or someone,’ without realizing that this all is really not about ‘art’ in itself or the people in my past relationships or else, it’s about myself and how I created relationships of dependency upon others in order to ‘satisfy me’ or ‘complete me’ or give me some kind of experience to which I could define myself, build myself, construct and upgrade myself as the ego that I was wanting to be within the ‘who I am’ as a professional artist as well as within the relationship formed in relation to who I am as an artist and in relationship to others.

     

    Therefore I realize that the best way to follow through with this is to entirely let go of my experiences toward my past specifically and so be able to give myself back to myself as being able to focus on what is here, what I am working with, what I am developing as myself and also to align my relationship to art and be able to enjoy it, visiting museums or read about it, hear it, interact with it without loading the entire experience of ‘going to the museum’ and defining myself according to that any longer.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful in the past few years and whenever I would talk about some forms of contemporary art become infuriated and a bit angry about what I defined as being utterly selfish and self-centered and ‘useless’ to the problems that I was then realizing were ‘much more important than that’ – and in this, I still agree that there are more important points in life than some kinds of art that are merely conceptual and contemplative and ‘useless’ as a tool to create practical solutions to the world – however, this obviously doesn’t justify the fact that I’ve been spiteful and holding this love-hate relationship to it, and within this only fueling an inner conflict of still being interested in or curious about the current art forms that are emerging while at the same time judging it as useless so here

    I had considered myself to feel bitter about art

    art-should-be

    Bitter: causing pain or unhappiness. Feeling or showing angry hurt or resentment

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bitter about art as in becoming resentful toward it and toward the people that create it, not realizing that I had exactly done the opposite for a prolonged period of time which is why the inner conflict arose in the first place, all based on me wanting to make of art the quintessential human experience and making it the most ‘honorable profession on Earth’ or so, and so believing that being an artist was the same or similar thing as to say I was chosen by god and/or touched by god, so in essence a lot of delusions of grandeur that I created within me and that I projected toward art. So, this bitterness as in being angry, resentful, dissatisfied toward art has to do with me having to let go of my own desires/hopes/dreams related to me becoming an artist. So once again, it has nothing to do with ‘art’ in itself but the expectations and experiences I created toward it and so, when realizing I had to stop pursuing my mind any further and only feeding my ego, that’s when the opposite relationship came up.

    When and as I see myself feeling bitter about any form of art that I may see, read about or even people that create art and discuss their work – I stop and I breathe, I ensure that I am not tensing my physical body and experiencing that bolt of energy within me wanting to ‘let them know the truth about their creation’ which is in fact nothing else but me wanting to ‘express’ through reaction, as if I had ‘the truth’ within myself and so within this actually becoming nothing more than an ego that wants to be recognized for ‘my new position’ which is not really supportive but only a packet of resentment, judgments and overall bitterness toward that which I once praised.

    I realize that this all comes from how much the entirety of ‘my world’ and ‘myself’ that I deemed as ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ were in fact not, so this whole relationship with art I remember very well was the first initial ‘big hit’ that I took when understanding who we are as the mind, as a preprogrammed mind consciousness system and that the thing I feared losing the most was the personality I had created through/as art and having chosen that path for myself, which is why that initial big fear of loss about this self-definition had such a ‘big impact’ in the aftermath, wherein I allowed myself to not be entirely self-directive toward art but instead then create the opposite polarity and so still participating within the mind. And this came through even though I believed I was ‘well over with it,’ only to test out not long ago that there were still reactions coming through the more ‘artistic’ documentaries I would watch and wanting to ignore the reactions to it until I simply believed that I had to ‘speak my mind’ about it – and yes, it was ‘my mind’ and a till here no further to when and as I see myself questioning or asking another about their creation from the starting point of the ‘bitter drop-out of an artist’ that I became in my mind, and so stop defining myself based on the choices of the past and focus on communicating or creating a dialogue based on what we can learn from it, what can be useful to understand our human condition or even innovate and take points to be creative in the ways that I can support myself and others through this process while using art as a supportive tool for it, without endowing it the entire ‘duty’ of ‘changing the world’ in itself, which as I’ve previously discussed, it’s impossible.

    When and as I see myself wanting to create an experience of spite or disdain and bitterness toward ‘art’ and seeing it as useless or pointless while at the same time being curious about it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that both the negative and positive experiences are only re-creations of the ‘who I was’ in the past as an art-lover and then the who I became as the anti-thesis of that which was pretty much being very critical toward art within a negative context, and so I simply stop, breathe and observe/interact with it without creating any experience but rather seeing it objectively for what it is. And this is the challenge really because I had cult-ivated the experiences attached to works of art and becoming emotional about it, which I also learned from books at the same time. So I realize that all of my emotions and feelings are in fact nothing else but knowledge and information that I’ve translated into energetic experiences that serve no purpose for me to interact with something or someone.

     

    I commit myself to be able to be here as breath while witnessing performances, watching/visiting museums or art galleries and also to remain here as breath when getting too excited about seeing something because that’s also once again recreating the same pattern of the visual vicious – which I’ve talked about extensively of – and so realize it’s just images, it’s just pictures, it’s just a part of reality and the only way I can ‘react’ to something is if I ‘load’ all my past-definitions in order to react based on memories and the knowledge that I had built around art and the ‘who I am’ toward art. So I can practically simply stop those past definitions and focus on reality.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read about the Stendhal syndrome in some book and consider that I would get this kind of experiences such as seeing ‘the sublime’ and mostly images that would depict the end of the world, which is why I focused myself so much on depicting the end of the world and getting a kick out of it, and believe that these emotions were ‘normal’ to me and that I had all the right to ‘express them’ but, the reality is that it was all a self-created experience and that there was no ‘magic’ or ‘real connection’ to painting or anything like that which I believed was something ‘special’ within me. Therefore I realize that these experiences were pretty much all created within my desperate need to ‘feel something’ because I had deemed the ability to ‘feel’ as in becoming emotional as special, as sensitive, as ‘unique’ in a human being – and so I created my own web of experiences according to how I would see others would feel and so mimic it, read books that were very emotional and then going determining what I would find as ‘emotional’ and what I would like to experience and so integrate as part of the ‘who I was’ as the characters that I read about and that I eventually wanted to create for myself.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to made of past relationships as something conflictive and filled with ‘turmoil’ inside my mind as I realize that this was also part of the definition of who I wanted to be as a very sensitive person in order to be able to have stories to tell or talk about, as I believed that I had to suffer to make any real art. Therefore, I realize that any experience I created toward something or someone wasn’t part of reality as such, but entirely self created in my mind. Within this, I realize that also in my relationships the experiences I created about others were never ‘real’ as such, but only the plethora of experiences and definitions I created upon them – that’s why once the energy ran dry and seeing the individuals or situations that I was in within my life with sober eyes and frame of mind, the ‘truth’ of myself and the interactions with others/something came through as it is.

     

    So a way to redefine a relationship it is to first of all no longer define tit through/as an emotion or feeling, something that we believe is ‘real’ in the mind based on memories, ideas, beliefs, past experiences that we then make real as our preference, as that which ‘we want,’ without taking physical reality into consideration.

    Therefore an emotional relationship will always end up as a ‘fuck-up’ if it is not aligned to physical reality wherein I can stand as an individual that first of all ponders what it is that I sought in my relationship with something/someone that I believed I didn’t have myself, alone – and so realize that whichever I was expecting to get from ‘art’ or someone in my life were and had been all points of separation, illusions that I believed were unable to be experienced within me. So this is how the best way to create a relationship with someone or something is to ensure that it is seen through the eyes of physical reality, where no emotions, feelings, no past experiences, no ideals, wants, needs or desires become a decisive factor in terms of defining who I am toward others, as all I have to consider is myself and within doing that I can then interact with something/someone based on the principles that I can integrate within myself, as the relationship that I want to establish for myself so that no matter what I do, where I am, with who or alone, I remain stable, supporting myself, getting to know about others in the relationships formed with my reality, recognizing myself as one and equal with them, instead of seeing them as points to ‘fulfill me’ or things/experiences that I believed I lacked.

    I realize that it’s been supportive to revisit this aspect of ‘my relationship to art’ to review my state of affairs in relation to other relationships based on emotions in the past, and so to focus on preventing further ‘fuckups’ as the ups and downs and polarity relationships of ‘love and hate’ as that is all of the mind –  instead there are more physical aspects and perspectives to consider here as well.

    Life on Earth in itself is built through relationships, so I cannot define relationships only as personal relationships with something or someone, but rather realize that we are all made of and constantly require and exist as relationships that define the way we live in our world – therefore the more we are able to act, participate and be part of these relationships in a physical and common sensical manner without being driven by desires, hopes, dreams, fantasies and illusions, the more we will be able to begin changing the focus of our reality – from the distraction that emotional relationships are to a rather physical process of aligning ourselves to that which enables our coexistence in the best possible manner – no feelings/emotions required for that, no special relationships but rather the equalization and realization of who I am as this interdependence

     

    to be continued…

    Mechanical Heart 06

     

    To learn more about how to establish proper Relationships suggest the Re-defining Relationships – Agreement Course  as well as:


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