247. Blindly Following Our Progress

Doomsday is a novelty joke to evade the consequences of our thoughts, words and deeds of having disregarded the laws of nature and the physical in our reality in the name of following through with our mind-driven desires, all based on energy which implies the abuse of the physical for the sake of feeling just Fine.

What’s the fine line between progress and devolution? The neglect in which we have built this marvelous see-evil-I-zation wherein we have focused on the ‘I’ only of self interest, following our success, no matter ‘what’ has to be destroyed and potentially damaged for the rest of the Earth’s existence just to have a moment of bliss and ideal of progress disregarding the shit hitting the fan while smiling at the beautiful scenes of what progress implies.

Cities like Dubai are the perfect example of what human beings as gods disregarding the ‘forces of nature’ imply: creating this great buildings at the expense of the most horrid living conditions that any worker on Earth is currently having to go through just to make a living. The same goes for all the people that confections our clothes, build our gadgets, grow and reap our food which is essentially the extraction and transformation industries that get to do the most work at the expense of slave labor. The ‘retail’ industry is the one that benefits through us buying brands, lifestyles, experiences that we have tagged as our ‘successful living’ while neglecting everything that had to be destroyed for that single ‘lifestyle’ to be now something that is Normal to ourselves.

Read Matti Freeman’s Day 152: Slaves of Dubai – Exposing the Darkness behind the Glittering Lights of Progress for further context.

 

Continuing from:

• Day 2 – Running out of Oil

• 241. The EndGame Show: 2012

• 242. Overwhelmed by the Abuse upon Life?

• 243. The Sublime and the End of the World

• 245. Sublimity and Ecstatic Self Experiences

• 
  

  246. Why do we Seek to Escape this World through Emotions?

 

We’ve come to the point where we would rather expect some 3 days of darkness to happen or some planetary alignment and suddenly have a renewed world all of a sudden. Seriously, is there any  trace of sanity in such beliefs? No – and this world-system is proof of how we have all been inherently insane to keep blindly participating in this world system wherein Nothing is projected to be sustainable in a long term basis.

I was watching Gian’s video on Hope – which I obviously suggest you watch as well – and realized that it is true, we are born with a certain belief/idea of ‘this is how things always have been and there’s no change in how things work’ – and in this ‘this is how things work’ is the doom of our race, because in such acceptance we have only gone either of the two following ways:

1. Waiting for the world to end/ be destroyed = doomsday character.

2. Waiting for something marvelous to happen that will wash away all the destruction and will wipe out all our atrocities in a blink of an eye = ascension/ transformation of consciousness character.

 

Both are equally fucked, to say the least, since we can read WAITING which is just precisely HOPING for something to happen. In both scenarios we either drive ourselves to a Negative Self Experience – which is what I have described in the past posts – or we drive ourselves to a Positive Self Experience, which is all your ascension/2012 transformation of consciousness type of messages. It is funny to recall the last book I read on the Mayan Calendar subject, right before Desteni – well in fact the day I finished the book I encountered Desteni – where Dr. Calleman said that by November 2012, everyone would be enlightened – I would quote the page of the 2012 Transformation of Consciousness book he wrote, but gave it away within the realization that I had just indulged in quite an extensive amount of unfounded statement. Wow, really wow.  If enlightenment means being ready to continue using and abusing the Earth by our every single move in everything we think say and do then by all means, we are full of light and will soon burst into flames if we don’t stop.

 

What I realize is that beyond me having gone into the negative experience about the world and feeling all sad/ depressed that ‘this world is shit,’ is really only the exact same as thinking positive and waiting for something Great to come, because in self-doomification I am doing exactly the same thing: Only waiting for an End while precisely only living to die and doing absolutely Nothing to stop the current ways in which our society has been made ‘acceptable,’ which is accepting and allowing self-abuse in all ways.

 

Now, the problem is not the Earth of course or the ecosystem and all the living beings beside the human being, that was perfect in its natural equilibrium; it is our force as human nature of actual Evil that has disregarded the physical forces we are subject to. That’s what playing God in essence has been about: believing we could somehow implement our jolly civilizations of multiple advancements without a single point of concern on ‘what’s next’ you know? Because there is a very important factor that we have ALL Participated in: We Trusted in those that have come before us to only give ‘permission’ – accept and allow – to implement what is currently running here as a living-condition that should be beneficial for all. But is it so? Of course not, not at all since all decisions made have been based upon Energy, which in this world system means Money/ Profit being the directive principle of the route we have followed through as humanity. And as all decisions made/founded upon energy: there is a massive disregard for its sustainability in the long run, and this goes from relationships that we found upon this energetic positive experience to making our living decisions of what career to study, what to ‘invest upon’ only within the same scheme of what we have currently valued as ‘More’ than life itself.

 

When I was a child, I developed this ‘ecological awareness’ in a very limited way, but it was ‘something’ and I remember being 7-8 years old and from that time and on, every time that  I flushed the toilet I would ‘feel bad’ for the water that will have to go with all the rest of the world’s toilet water and polluting the Earth. Whenever I would take a shower I would literally imagine how many more were showering around the world as well, how many were spending too much water in their showering while I was ensuring I would spend the least – I worried about things like littering on the streets and the smog produced by all the cars in the city – and I would become rather depressed whenever I would get to go to another country or see pictures of another’s travels throughout Europe for example, and be marveled at the cleanliness and order that those cities/places were in, it all seemed ‘to good to be true,’ which is another outflow and consequence of us regarding such advancements as something genuinely positive to follow and desire. I only created a loathing for my country and the people here, so I went into an absolute abhorrent state because in my mind ‘no one cared’.’  And again, going into a ‘powerlessness’ and ‘hopelessness’ because no matter how much I tried to make an effort to ‘do something,’ obviously it was futile, because I wasn’t really looking at or aware of the greater picture of how things work in this reality.

 

Throughout the years, it was like swimming against the tide all the time, everyone just wanted me to relax a bit about all the things I would constantly worry about – all that which I called ‘pollution’ yet never really saw how everyone’s – including my own-  every single move contributes to this ‘pollution,’ no matter what we do in this current society. So, this is part of a personality that I became until I simply opted for the ‘fly away’ type of personality wherein I would shove aside my constant awareness on dirt/ pollution/ contamination/ civil carelessness for the environment and blamed this country and its people for it, never really understanding the magnitude of the problem at a global scale of which this idea of progress was mostly the direct source of, and how it was because of the ‘improvements’ that people in the first world were developing as the ‘ultimate civilizations’ that we were in fact following through with this abuse, without the necessary education on how to DEAL with everything we would get now from such first world countries and simply started copying it, using it,  without any further regard, which became a problem because we simply followed through with the ‘advancements’ without really pondering: hmm, if I buy a v.8 vehicle yes I’ll have a shitload of HP and luxuries, but is this sustainable?

And so, our living standard instead of focusing on creating sustainable conditions for transportation became the ultimate presentation of an actual mock to any regard for the resources required to run a v.8 vehicle, because all that we really cared for is showing off our ability to pay for such amount of gas, taxes and maintenance as an indication of elevating our power of acquisition through buying that which could SHOW to others that we are ‘making it in the system.’ This is what our success have become.

 

“A Successful Failure, is when Failure is taken Personally – and the Purpose of Failure is not Grasped. Because Failure, has been Changed into the Illusion of Energy and is Experienced as some form of ‘Feeling’.

Failure, when Grasped – is the Map and the Road to Self-Perfection.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

The example I give is quite a tangible one, since also in my home city there’s Volkswagen and all the German people worked there and had this thing for cars, which I then became used to the idea of one has to have this latest-model of car and dispose the older ones because: you always get improvements. This is a single example of how we Always buy into the idea (social conditioning) of having the latest and most recent upgrade of everything as a sign of success – see for yourself how only the nice bright idea of power is looked at, but have no regard at the actual need for an upgrade and what happens with all the cars that are disposed, what are the current productions settings that have created our brand new car, the gas requirements, labor that has been put into it, how has it been paid for – none of that is of our concern, we feel like royals just having the ability to buy it and ride it and disregard everything else. And yes, it feels GREAT but I bet it won’t feel that great when there’s no freaking gas to pump into such v.8 vehicles, where already decisions are being made between eating or pumping gas into your car, as a matter of fact and consequence of disregarding basic common sense equations in which life should run upon.

 

Now we get the point of success being a blatant ignorant self-abuse, you see?

 

And then, when the shit hits the fan as it is happening now, we would rather follow through either of the above mentioned 2 options, instead of actually placing our hands on the problems and become aware of the series of steps that we have followed through until it’s become this chain-massacre of points that we accepted and allowed to end up in this blind-line of production and consumption that is disregarding and neglecting the primer matter of which everything is formed.

Please read an Economist’s Journey to Life for further  details

 

I had to just go and clean the fridge from all the food that my house mates have just ‘left’ and realized how just because we have the money to buy, we simply buy-buy-buy and don’t even think about what we are in fact going to in fact use. I can absolutely say that the waste of food I have created for the most part has been the one I have processed in my own physical body and dumped on the toilette, but I absolutely measure the amount of food I will in fact eat – and if some vegetables go rot, it’s a minimal quantity that I can place as compost for the tree and that’s it. And when confronting anyone about such blind-consumption, we only face the point of: Oh but ‘I’ bought it, so it’s ‘my’ stuff as a given right to abuse. The same we do with everything that we consume that we know it’s not beneficial, like people taking drugs and believing that it is only THEM that they are fucking up, not anyone else – which means that we disregard the basic fact that Everything we do, act and speak is linked through a collective process of coexisting in the same world, this means: there are no ‘isolated forces’ that will not have an effect and consequence on this reality, we’re all equally contributing to them.

 

And once again, what do we do? If you ask any regular person, everyone’s just hoping things will just go ‘mildly wrong’ in our lifetime as it’s being predicted everywhere, we just hope to ‘make it through,’ die and leave the future generations with the most heavy load of destruction to deal with. This is the statement we are living by every day that goes through without placing and becoming a solution to this world.

 

What is this whole ‘evolution’ based on, what is our progress based on? Abuse of the Earth to make things bigger, faster, greater, more efficient, more astounding and creating within ourselves this fantabulous self-experiences of this being a ‘marvelous world/ our creation,’ but we rarely or never even look at all the processes behind everything that we consume – and for that, we are ALL equally responsible.

 

And this is one of the points that listening to the See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil – Life Review which really walks us through what we’ve become without a doubt in this world, and also a great way to gift to another a piece of audio-awareness that can be an eye opener for this ‘holiday season’ when all our “Love” is DEMON-strated through buying/ consuming and giving each others stuff that we have no idea how it’s been created.

 

So, where does our responsibility reside on? Having accepted and allowed the current lifestyles we’re living as ‘the way things are’ which is what Anu also explains is something that should be really questioned at all times, as that implies the inertia that we’ve moved ourselves within: how things are/ it’s always been this way wherein we automatically infer = then it is fine, then it is okay, then there is no harm or potential life-threat within this, because it’s been running for 50 years. Well, it’s certainly ONLY 50 years that’s taken us to massively upscale our current abuse on Earth and we call this progress.

And we expect doomsday? Lol that would certainly be a ‘gift’ if any god existed, we won’t get rid of any consequence any time soon unless we actually take responsibility for it, face it and fix it.

 

“Without Failure – Self-Perfection is Impossible.

Without Failure – Birthing Harmony on Earth is Impossible.

Without Failure – Perfecting Individualization is Impossible.

Without Failure – Enlightenment Perfection is Impossible.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

To be continued, for sure.

 

• Economist’s Journey to Life

• Desteni

• Desteni Forum

• Desteni I Process

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

• Equal Money System 

 

 

Vlogs:

• 2012 Trusting What We Blindly Consume

• Gian’s video on Hope

• 2012 Religious Consumerism: God is in the TV

 

Interviews at Eqafe 

• Reptilians – How Hope Creates Hell – Part 38

• Animal’s Life Review

• 
  

  The Soul of Money

• See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil – Life Review

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Consciousness + Time = Doomsday? (Part Two): DAY 246

• 
  

  *Day 247: Success and God – ADC – Part 94

Day 122 – Physics and the Desteni Process – Newton’s Second Law of Motion – Forces

• Day 2 – Running out of Oil « MarlenLife’s Blog

• Fossil Fuels -The Blind Spot of the Idiot-Sin-Crazy of Humanity

• DAY 159: ENERGY AND EQUAL MONEY – BLIND SPOT

• Day 152: Slaves of Dubai – Exposing the Darkness behind the Glittering Lights of Progress

246. Why do we Seek to Escape this World through Emotions?

Continuing from:

• 243. The Sublime and the End of the World
• 245. Sublimity and Ecstatic Self Experiences

So, quoting the post where I got the self support

Update on Music Post, June 1, 2008

Marlen wrote:
What I’ve experienced is some tingling, mostly like goosebumps when i listen to certain songs.. but this might be mindfuck as well… hmm it’s as if ants walked within my body and extended through it all. Don’t’ know why this happens but i used to have it before as well. But this time specific with music. So would like perspective because if i have to stop it I will… just to know where it comes from thanks

Answer:
The sensation experienced here Marlen, is when a physical manifested memory construct system – ‘activate’ within hearing the sound and words.

When this occurs – observe your mind and the thoughts that arise, as the thoughts as memories will pertain to the physical manifested system within and as you – which has become you, which has formed part of your self-definition of the mind.

Margot

 

So, the Self Forgiveness in the last post indicated an actual self-revelation of once again just another personality/ character defined by the type of likes and fascinations I created out of some initial fear or energetic relationship to specific situations and music, such as the end of the world/ death and mostly a perspective upon the world being fucked, never realizing that I was the only one that was accepting and allowing it to be so and rather victimizing myself about it, complaining about it without ever even considering how I could stand as the change within myself instead of seeking it outside of me.

 

If we take a look at our entertainment – whether is music, arts, TV, magazines, books, any ‘high culture’ type of hobbies and virtually anything for that matter is part of the same industries that are only seeking after money to remain with a certain spot within our world system, a perfect world system for slaves that seek to ‘get away’ from reality for a while which is the first and most important condition that exists in order for anyone to not question the system, to not question their jobs as long as holyweekend rewards of getting wasted and laid are in place as an obligatory sacrament in order to feel ‘alive’ as the renewal of the mind consciousness system’s life is rebooted by an extensive participation in the mind as energy. And I’m merely describing what goes on and what I see/witness every single weekend around here.

The same goes with any other form of spirituality for example, seeking a holy good-doer experience within some form of ritual or religious encounter wherein they get probably the same chills/ ecstatic experience that I do while watching some bombs obliterating the Earth to the music of Godspeed You Black Emperor, and I mean I understand this can be judged as rather insensitive, but it’s just within the understanding of how a point of fear is turned into a fascination. So, it is simply about revealing what is here and look at our personal self definitions with regards to images and sounds – if anything makes you feel ‘good’ or temporarily ‘high’ and ‘out of your senses,’ problem since it indicates we are only running as a mind and are not being the directive principle of our beingness. If there was no such ecstatic experience within the music I heard, would I have been so imbued into it? Probably not – the same can be applied to anyone that has created an energetic bond to virtually anything in this world – because as we’ve said many times: we’re all addicts and have not fully grasped what our addictions are causing at a global level.

 

So in essence, this point of music as any other form of energetic experience reminds me one thing every time: what am I willing to participate in just for the sake of an energetic experience? and because of this, I had actually prevented me from travelling across the city and spending money on tickets and rides there to get a ‘nice memory’ such as going to concerts, which became like a self-religion to be there and acting out of memory, because out of the several hours I had to spend travelling and waiting, all the money on tickets and rides would be a lot more than the hour and a half that the hype happened. If it was easier to go, I would not see it as a problem, nor would I judge it, but I am specifically looking at what cost do I go and seek for these experiences, not necessary.

 

I have been watching several documentaries on drugs because I can see how every single person that is a hard-core drug addict is seeking for this ‘something’ to feel to fill some apparent void. I was ‘lucky’ to be fearful of taking any hard drugs, feared consequence so much that I simply avoided that, but became aware of the temptation that exists whenever you believe you lack some spice in your life. It’s quite hard to look at methamphetamines and the current deadly addiction they represent, literally people just hooking up on it in the first hit. And this seems to be the decay that I have been focusing on, because this is precisely the ‘I want to give up’ attitude that leads us to seek an end of the world scenario while making of anything in your life your greatest ‘hit’ and high, either through legal or illegal drugs, music, sex, buying, killing, eating, exercising, painting, walking, stealing, consuming anything and anyone just for one single moment of pleasure.

This accumulation of Self Interest is what has lead us to what we have become now: top consuming addicts that will do whatever it takes to keep up with a hedonist lifestyle that disregards where all of these little ‘treats’ come from. Certainly we are so narrow minded that we believe that everything that we consume is somehow ‘safe to use’ and perpetuate because we blatantly believe that because it being sold in your supermarket/ regular shops, it is ‘probably’ tested and safe to use by people, and it is most likely non-harmful and bio-friendly type of product, of any kind for that matter. Really?

 

We’ve bought so many lies just to maintain our little happy world-play running at the expense of life on Earth and the lives of billions of beings that are either starving, absolutely neglected by any form of care or regard or working 3/4 of a day just to make enough money to stay alive and produce the the lifestyle that we are so proud of as technological advancements and any other ‘improvement’ that is only available for those with money and can only be produced by those that are forced to remain as slaves to make it happen. That’s our reality – and that’s what sustains any form of personal-interest as entertainment or a fleeting moment of escapism, without realizing that we should not even be seeking to ‘escape’ or ‘get high’ if we could all agree to make of this world a suitable living space for all beings equally, with unconditional resources to ensure life is honored as oneself.

 

 

From Energetic Fixes to Self Expression

Now, how to turn such experience of music/ painting into Self Expression? Me making a decision to hear music or participate in any other activity that involves any form of creative process, being here breathing and enjoying the sounds for what they are and that’s it. It is definitely something that for a drunk would mean having to drink beer without alcohol, but as I said, I cannot allow myself to enslave me to a single point of energetic experience that I would actually be quite a seeker of. I have already spent too much money in the past going to concerts just because of that feeling and experience, only to every time end up saying: next time, I’ll remind myself that it’s not worth it- but not really learning since there’s always this hope that I’ll have a good time. Last time I did, I danced around while being perfectly sober which was cool but I realize that I can as well put some music on and dance and jump around – no difference since the entire exhilaration of seeing a band live is mostly an energetic experience in the mind that turns just into this one experience that one can say ‘I’ve been there’ and that’s it. We can look at all other points in our life we conduct in a similar manner, just for a little excitement there can be lots of money and time spent, sometimes even getting in risky situations or travelling across the city at night which I’ve done in my case, not the most suitable option just to follow-through with a desire.

In terms of the self-definition, I can see that at the moment it’s not so much about me defining myself according to that music, it is just that energetic experience that comes up with and while listening to certain music, but I’ll have to walk this as I go since there are several types of music, several voices, sounds that I essentially saved in my memory for various reasons. If I would have to walk through each and every single music video I adopted something from, It would take me a thousand posts. So, it is a matter of breathing through the energetic thrill, see what thoughts came up, which is not so much a thinking any more but a remembrance of a personality, which implies I have to ‘go back’ and see what that song was about, what ‘era’ of my life does that song represent and walk the self forgiveness, because it is really uncomfortable not being able to be fully directive here when such experiences arise, I mean, it’s just like when you’re cold and you suddenly get chills – same point here, but the chills come even if I am not cold per se. It can only indicate layers I have to work with in relation to these ingrained personalities and yes, it is mostly like suddenly having to take the make up off the face when it comes to these points that I had kept nice and safe, without realizing to what extent I am still controlled by it since they meant my ‘get away’ from reality.

This is a point to consider for me every time that I simply miss myself breathing here and start accumulating this search for something to be entertained with. How I have dealt with it is simply physically doing the stuff I actually have to do, moving faster than the mind’s complains about it and that’s ok, however not applied to everything equally, which is the point to direct. However, I also have learned not to condemn everything that I would do for a moment of entertainment. As Anu said once, we would go crazy without those bits of entertainment, so it’s just to be aware of me not reloading the entire personality that I have created through, for example, listening to music and doing particular activities that are as simple as walking and deifying a particular color in the sky, but remain here as breath within the realization that in doing so, I am honoring myself and actually being self directive at all times within the experience.

I realize that every time that I deliberately take myself to a point of escapism through watching/ hearing something mostly is rather a red flag indication of what is it that I am not willing to face and direct within my reality – and as such I have to instead prioritize what I have to do instead of creating further judgments about it and creating a struggle between having to ‘do my responsibilities’ but wanting a moment of entertainment. The easy way through that is by agreeing to simply leave any form of entertainment for the end after I’ve covered all the points, or most of them that required immediate direction. Otherwise, backchat accumulates and then it’s just harder to get out of that inertia – for that I suggest reading Maya Rot’s blog Day 118 – Physics and the Desteni Process – Newton’s First Law of Motion – the Principle of Inertia to understand what it physically means to Move as a physical being in self-willed manner.

 

 

 

So, how can I turn this point of self interest to a best for all interest?

Stopping seeking only my personal satisfactions, seeking ‘a way out’ of my responsibilities in this world and instead direct me to implement a world system that I can be genuinely proud of having contributed to create. That’s what I have realized is what I’m here for and any form of entertainment can be seen just as that,  a moment wherein I do something else without defining myself according to it – obviously within the consideration of not harming myself/ anyone and considering at all times not enhancing these moments through energy, but physicalize it as part of the activities that I can give myself time to enjoy for a moment and that’s it.

 

If we create a world that is suitable for living in all aspects, everything we have deemed as our personality with specific traits that would exist as a form of rebellion toward the ‘establishment’ as I have done, will simply not exist. Now figure out all the entertainment industries that will have to be reconfigured to simply be an available point of expression wherein there is no more money involved or any other angst involved behind an expression, but simply being an actual available part for our personal development without having to make it a separate ‘profession’ or ‘career’ as I did in my case, studying art just because of not wanting to be part of everything that I judged this world system to stand for: abuse of life, never asking me how in my personal endeavors to seek ‘my way out’ I also neglected any form of reality and sought only my self interest wherein only ‘I’ could ‘feel good’ about myself and never even questioning what I was supporting with money and my participation in due to only seeking to exert my opinions and ‘way of looking at life’ without any consideration of the actual life as all the living beings that surely get neglected every time we only seek an energetic fix, which is the negligence to deliberately stop here.

 

What matters is existing as the consistency of myself here as a 1+ person that is committed for life to generate a world wherein who we are won’t exist as personalities that oppose, compete and spite each other, but work together and learn how to coexist to make life on Earth a point we want to Live in, and never again seek to destroy or turn into an energetic-factory machine for our personal delights and mindfucks.

 

- I’ll continue with some more considerations of our ‘doomsday’ personalities, the desire to End the world instead of taking responsibility for it and we’ll have a look at the Actual doomsday that is being generated by you and I every single day within our participation in this world system wherein Life is certainly not regarded at all.

 

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  Consciousness + Time = Doomsday?: DAY 245

 

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244. How to Prevent School Shootings

Humanity Must Look Within First – Journey To Life Self-Investigation

 

Are school shootings another Sign of the End Times?

Reading about another shooting –  reading  AGAIN  about another shooting makes us ponder why the pattern keeps unfolding without any conclusive realization to understand what is causing these events in the first place.

We resort to talking about how ‘monstrous’ these events are, point fingers at the perpetrators and see them as the problem. Then we talk about  Gun Control, which is one of the reasons why these weapons are readily available for  virtually anyone having enough money to get one in the ‘gun fairs’ in America or through any other illegal manner in such case. We know it’s in their 2nd amendment, we know that the NRA is virtually paying thousands to prevent any form of gun-regulation taking place which could result in a loss of their own profiteering clubs with expensive memberships, seems impossible to overcome but, who decided the power of money overall as the actual decision maker in this world-system in the first place? We did.

We have discussed the ubiquitous violence in the media as a way to inspire people to commit mass murders  in real life upon others, we have talked about the usual ‘profile’ that these people present and how to not look at ‘types of people’ but what causes such behavior in the first place. But these are only outflows and consequences of a point that exists before guns, before violence in the media, before antidepressants and mentally instable people: it is our own responsibility as human beings to regard life as equal within ourselves, toward each other, toward our children and  the world system as a whole. Do we currently live in a world system that provides unconditional living support to ensure that all beings are having ‘the time of their lives’ on Earth? No, and that should already be considered a source for mental instability, because we all have played blind to not see how wrong it is to go living our lives pursuing happiness while leaving some billions to live on the streets or starve to death.

 

I read the news, this time it’s not teenagers that have been killed, but kids. What could drive anyone to kill innocent children? The point is not any longer where he got the guns from, whether he was a fan of ‘disturbing music’ or taking antidepressants, but how we raise our children and how much do we really take into consideration every single spec of our environment as an actual source of “Education” that is mostly nowadays obviously filled with guns, drugs, violence as a form of ‘killing time,’ because there is ‘nothing else to do’ in a world where everyone is just surviving in a dog eat dog world. What do you do for fun? Shoot up drugs, grab guns and kill people, develop any other form of escapism through becoming addicted to virtually Anything that can give you a temporary High in this world that mostly represents a low for everyone, simply because- once again – everyone’s been taught that you should be Happy and search for it no-matter what. No one considered to what extent consumerism could backfire with people now being on so many drugs to ‘overcome’ mental instability and then acting out in reality such ‘insoluble problem’ out on others, exerting all that anger and frustration as a final statement that could ‘hopefully’ open other people’s eyes and ears to the reality we’re living in.

 

But, where is our responsibility in this? The mind. Every single event, every single move that has caused us to attempt against life can only be generated by thinking processes in our minds – there’s no other way to that. As humanity, we have failed to see ourselves as our own mind as the source and cause of the problems we face in reality. We blame our media, our guns, our wars, our economic system,  our entertainment and drugs, our news, our fascinations but: where do they Begin in the first place? Why do we need to protect ourselves and creating guns for that? Why do we require to wage wars to become more ‘powerful’ than other nations? Why do we resort to hyper-emotions as a form of entertainment to compensate for a ‘lack of successful living’ or ‘happy go lucky lives’? Why do we see our economic system as unfair and unequal but not question who has chosen – accepted and allowed – it to be so in the first place? Why do we resort to mind numbing entertainment and drugs to suppress our actual inner experience? Why do we get scared of listening ‘negative stuff’ on the news and rather watch something more ‘positive’ instead? Why do we have morbid fascinations in a world wherein one is taught to seek your ‘greatest excitement’ and if shooting people is presented on video games and movies as a source of empowerment, then why the hell is it so ‘strange’ that someone dares to live it out in real life? And even more so, these shootings are a desperate cry , a wake up call to make a difference in this world, to realize how fucked up everything is – it is not just a point made by a ‘bad person’ in a ‘bad world’ that was ‘lost and confused,’ come on.

If we could do a door to door survey on each person’s ‘mental stability’ and drug consumption of any form – from sex, legal and illegal drugs, excessive food consumption,  alcoholism, shopping, entertainment, exercise, pornography, codependent relationships and the list goes on -  we would realize we are All trying to Escape ourselves, in one way or another, even if you consider yourself the healthiest person, ask yourself whether money then is actually that conditional pillar of support for any perceived well being.  and that is obviously then an addiction to feeling good through that which enables such feeling good in the first place: money. Other than that, no one is ‘happy’ in this world and we use and abuse each other to get some form of content experience that only leads to contempt on the long run, because it’s not sustainable, because it is self abusive – but then, are we then working on establishing a permanent solution for this inner-experience? Not yet.

 

Could it be that because not everyone is given Equal Money to Live in dignity that any form of mental instability is created? Think about it, people are growing more isolated and depressed despite our so-called evolution and technological advancements and the reason why is because we can live in great looking places with all sorts and variety of shit that no one really needs,  but in the inside, there’s not  a single spec of self respect as living beings – why? Because everybody knows that life’s being sold and abused in order to generate this well being.

(Read We’re living longer than ever…but suffering more pain, depression and illness as a result

 

Now, this background is necessary because we often tend to look at the environmental conditions of a person’s life that could lead them to commit such atrocities, but we never question:  who gave a damn about this person’s life? who was listening to him? How was his relationship with family/ peers? Did anyone know what was going inside him, how he viewed the world/ reality, what his fascinations grew up to be? I am perfectly aware that we are all great liars when it comes to presenting a nice presentation of ourselves and be seemingly ‘normal’ at the eyes of others, but fuck knows what goes on in our minds and the moment we are Possessed by what we brew up there: problem, because we will usually follow that which we believe within ourselves makes sense and as such, will justify even the most heinous crimes in any self righteous act of ‘making a statement’ for example, and that’s just because we were never taught to honor each other as equals, to regard our life and that of others as actually something that should be honored in the first place. But no, all we learn is how to despise, compete, spite and abuse others in the name of self empowerment.  And all of this stems from a single point that is lacking: a principled living of Life in Equality based on Prevention.

 

What would prevention imply?

Parental education to become absolutely aware of themselves to begin with from the initial moment that they see themselves as wanting to ‘have children’ and what that will actually imply in the absolute meaning of the words: giving birth to life. That is currently not understood at all and children are being brought into this world as an automated starting point of desire to ‘have a family’ without any actual regard to life as a point that must be cultivated from the moment of conception till the very last days of a living human being within the consideration of honoring each other’s life in all ways. That is not existent – why? Because the very world system that we have created is not regarding life in equality, is not honoring each other’s life within a system and structure that could support everyone to live in equality and have at everyone’s disposition the best ways in which one can educate and learn living skills to actually LIVE not ‘cope’ or only ‘have fun’ with reality.

 

There’s the usual pattern again: people that become depressed and lonely with ‘autistic behaviors’ because of not caring and worthing themselves,because there are no life values and self-worth promoted in this world from birth, it is all just diverted to buying/ consuming and getting something that will give you a temporary High even if that High implies wanting the world to end or shoot little kids in elementary schools, just because no one taught you that it is possible to change everything that you hate about yourself and this world. These thoughts of just wanting everything to go down the drain is existent in every single one of us, and as one person said in one of the videos about ‘wanting doomsday’ as  a form of irresponsibility, we are all such characters every time that we opt to follow through with our suppressions through any form of drug or consumption of life to have a positive experience and ‘keep it up’ than daring to look at the reality of ourselves as absolutely unsatisfied due to what we’ve become as persons, as this world system and the abuse inflicted upon all life forms as a result of this  – which is what this new shooter made visible: there are consequences that will emerge from our neglect toward each other as equals, as ‘valuable.’

 

The reality is that the consequences are already catching up with us faster than ever, and probably a lot more of these events will come if we do not place our focus to understand that the lack of parental skills is the actual matter of National Emergency and a Real problem of Social Health. The lack of consideration to provide equal unconditional support for all human beings is a Real Problem that is causing people to rather ‘escape’ and ‘evade’ reality than taking any form of actual responsibility to see how we are educating our children, what are our values, what are we defining as ‘living’ in this world, do we really even Care about ourselves – not to say each other – why do we rather take drugs to stop depressions instead of pondering How we accepted and allowed ourselves to exist only as a mind that experiences such ‘lows’ in a world where all Highs are sold and promoted all the time  – from money itself, to food, to clothes, cars, entertainment, guns, sugar, drugs of course and anything else that we believe will make us happy.

 

These events are a massive backfire of everything that we’ve become: seekers of our greater ‘truths’ and happiness in some form of bubbly American dream lifestyle based on consumption and abuse upon life, caring only about ourselves and ‘our loved ones’ and flipping the finger to the rest. Some people had to carry out such abuse in a blatant manner to make a statement of how we are consuming and abusing innocent lives in order to satisfy our human egolution  in our attempt to become the ‘most powerful ones’ while disregarding any form of consequence that such vulgar and brutal display of power implies.

 

Are we ready to realize that these shootings are not to be cried after but actually take back to self to see where and how we are accepting and allowing All of the above mentioned conditions as a ‘normal’ part of our society? Are we willing to face the consequences such as these shootings and any other chronic problems such as wars that are killing not only 22 kids in an elementary school, but thousands of children as ‘civilian casualties’ in massive attacks wherever wars are taking place – or even worse: kids that are being handed guns in order to become soldiers to fight for their nation.

 

Are we wiling to give up our so-called lifestyles for a single life to dedicate ourselves to create a solution that will ensure no other person feels so damned miserable and depressed to take a gun and shoot children and as such ensure children are able to roam free in this Earth – or are we willing to continue ignoring ourselves, our minds, our bodies, each and every single particle of life around us in the name of self interest wherein ‘as long as I am ‘okay’ then I don’t really care’?

 

How far are consequences having to manifest in order to wake up. This is a loud cry to wake up from our massive self-induced carelessness because we all learned only to ‘care for ourselves’ and essentially, don’t give a fuck about the rest. Well, our individualism is now being reaped and it’s plain to see that this world is the reflection of every single thought we’ve kept within our minds toward ourselves and each other – hence the problem is not a single country or ‘culture’ in this world, it is a human-crisis that begins at a mind level and the fact that we haven’t questioned our own instabilities as our own consequence of what we value in life in separation of ourselves already indicates that we are still to blind to acknowledge the simplicity of the problem beginning at a single thought level.

 

I urge you to take a look within yourself first and where you stand within and toward any of the points mentioned here. It is our collective responsibility to educate ourselves to learn how to coexist as equals and as such to democratically create and vote for a system that will ensure Life  is Lived in Equality in all ways – there will Not be a single person trying to make a statement of living in a great big sad and filthy world if we all commit ourselves in this lifetime to become an example of what it is to say I STOP and  instead direct ourselves to become part of a collective effort to create the necessary policies, monetary, educational and health care systems that can stand as a platform to support ourselves as life, dignified and honored within and without

Please research the Equal Money System, we Really don’t have to get to the point of massive obliteration of reality killing one another – there is a way to prevent and stop these events if we all collectively agree to take Self Responsibility and join our efforts as a force of common sense that is willing to declare a final cease to abuse of life on Earth.  That is our responsibility and measure of prevention.

 

“The Physical World was Designed, to Mirror the Actions of Humanity and to Show the Delusions of the Mind. Therefore you can take the Mind away, and Earth will Continue. You can take the Human Away, and Earth will Continue. But, you Introduce the Human with the Mind – and the Spiteful manner in which it Refuse to take Responsibility for Life: and the World and Nature will be Devastated.

The Evidence is Clear – the Self Honesty is Not.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Further Support:

• 
  

  Desteni

• Desteni Forum 

• Desteni I Process

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Course to get to SEE Your Thoughts and take responsibility for them

• Equal Money System

 

Blogs:

• Day 244: Life Force and God – ADC – Part 91

• Day 245: Immortality of the Soul and God – ADC – Part 92*

• This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

• 
  

  The Chosen One (Part Four): DAY 244

 

 

Documentaries:

• Gun Fight (Not found online)

• Bowling for Columbine

• The Marketing of Madness

• Big Bucks, Big Pharma: Marketing Disease & Pushing Drugs

• Bellevue Inside Out – YouTube

 

 

Vlogs:

• 2012 How to Prevent School Shootings – Connecticut

• Derren Brown – Apocalypse and the Principle of Prevention

• 2012 Gun Culture in America

• 2011 People Shooting People: Products of our Society

• Dark Knight Rises out of the SCREEN? Enter-tamement Question:

• 2010 Media Creates Bi-Polar People

• 2011 We are Killing LIFE because of MONEY

• 2011 – I Stop!

 

Read Further:

• 220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

• Dysfunctional Minds «

• 109. We Hate Love! We Love Hate! –

• 110.The Mad judging the Crazy «

• 2012 Desensitizing: A Culture of Indifference «

Interviews:

Life Review – The Consciousness of a Mass-Murderer

Life Review – The Consciousness of a Suicide-Bomber

242. Overwhelmed by the Abuse upon Life?

194. Let the Mask Fall!

• 195. The Righteousness of Evil

• 241. The EndGame Show: 2012
  

“Human Perception is our Greatest Enemy. Because, it has Devolved into Complete Separation as Self-Interest where the Individual will do its Utmost, to Ensure its own Comfort, Luxury and Survival – No Matter What. That is Extremely Unpleasant – to Watch a World, where Not a Single Face Presented in any way, can be Trusted to be the Real Face. It is Disheartening, to be in a World where no-one really Care. No matter how much Doomsday we have every day, no matter how many Living Beings die – there is just Silence. Not even a Cry. And, no one Shed a Tear. All Accepted, and Allowed.” – Bernard Poolman+

 

Please read the previous entry 241. The EndGame Show: 2012 to get a context on the points I’ll be walking in Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the consideration of humanity being fucked, having no regard to any other human being, I cultivated a desire to have everything be wiped out/ humanity disappearing and within this, create a layer of disdain toward humanity as a whole, without realizing that in this I was simply projecting blame onto others within a stance of superiority/innocence as if I had not participated in every single point that is leading us to this current situation of being close to our own annihilation and annihilating the lives of every single particle that is also here as part of who we are, without realizing that by the sheer fact of me existing, I am equally responsible to any single point I could criticize/ judge or even be ashamed of that other human beings represent in this world.

 

When and as I see myself participating within a quiet-desire for everything to just ‘disappear’ and have humanity wiped out, I stop and I breathe. I realize that facing the reality that we have all participated in is certainly part of what we have to breathe through because I realize that my experience and my desires to ‘end it all’ have no ability to support any being for that matter. Thus I breathe and stop participating in any thoughts that contribute to separating myself from others and the responsibility we all hold as having been equal participants within the current state of humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disgust as ourselves, human beings, for doing what we’re doing onto each other and every single animal, plant and small particle as part of our existence that we are abusing and simply disregarding within any consideration of them all being also part of what should be regarded as equal, equally valuable, equally important to make life on Earth possible but instead, we have become so imbued in our own pursuit of happiness, of a good time that everyone is just caring after their own well being and survival, because we have all collectively accepted a system wherein one just care-after oneself only, never promoting an actual collective sense of existence/ coexisting and requiring the same points to live thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the evil that I judge and create emotional experiences about when witnessing it within my reality, is nothing else but the consequential outflow of a collective agreement wherein we have accepted and allowed disparity, inequality and scarcity toward fellow human beings, simply because of accepting a country’s economy, a race, a region of the world and the disparity in currencies as actually ‘acceptable’ and ‘real,’ without realizing that in this make-believe world-system, we had never questioned why we haven’t been genuinely benevolent to each other to stop all forms of political, economical and social separations in order to Grant Access to all that is required to live as natural resources and necessary tools to be able to thrive as humanity no matter where we are located in this world.  Within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that judging the Evil in humanity is absolutely unnecessary since it is only another layer of self-preoccupation and self-experience added to the already existent selfishness that exists within/as the human mind that only caters for its own benefit individually, disregarding the collective and ecosystem that enables life to be possible on Earth.

When and as I see myself judging humanity/ a single human being’s actions as evil, nasty, spiteful, shameful or any other adjective that points out a degradation of life, I stop and I breathe. I realize that reducing myself in one single moment to assess/ participate in such judgmental activity becomes another link in the chain of self-abuse, because I am only generating yet another emotional experience that only feeds the same mind that is the very starting point of this whole problem in our reality in the first place, since who we are as the mind is the one that thrives upon friction and conflict to generate enough energy to feed itself from the actual physicality that we are here – thus within this realization and as a point of self correction in the moment: I direct myself to breathe through the surge of energy as contempt, disdain, shame and anger and follow through to apply Self-Forgiveness out loud in order to bring myself back to the physical reality wherein I can focus on supporting myself to do/ say that which will support me to Live and others to also realize the same instead of projecting and compounding yet another form of rivalry and antagonism toward others in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every time I participate in any form of anger toward ‘humanity’ as a mass, as a group in its totality and identify ‘humanity’ as irresponsible is indicating only where I am currently standing as myself, and reacting to that which I would have also participated myself, even if it’s through actually rejoicing at watching another’s series of unfortunate events which already raises attention to see to what extent we have come to be lax about what we deem as entertaining just because of the Experience that we get from it as an energetic kick out of watching another suffering – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice in watching another’s suffering which is quite a common point in our humanity, wherein because of the fear that we get from hypothetically placing ourselves in the shoes of the person, we would create the opposite experience as a positive experience through vicariously enjoying watching another going through events that are deliberately evil as a problematic situations in our so-called lives and call that entertaining, without realizing that in all of this Self-Experience we are only focusing on ourselves and our personal ‘good’ experience -  but in no way are we actually considering what is it that we are in fact laughing/ rejoicing about and become Aware of what we accept and allow to be commonly experienced as entertaining/ fulfilling without having a clue WHY we rejoice at such evil and generate a positive out of a negative.

 

When and as I see myself generating any form of either positive or negative experience through judging others, I stop and I breathe within the realization that it is within the participation of myself as my mind that I will only contribute to the already existent/portrayed point of experience as ‘common’ and ‘acceptable’ within us human beings, without realizing it is within such participation that we neglect and forget about being equal living beings but only opt for rejoicing in an experience at a mind level of either a positive or a negative that is equally abusive to who we are as physical beings – and to understand this and why please, educate yourself with the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews, so one can make an informed decision of why we require to stop all participation in our minds of thoughts/ emotions/ feelings as positive or negative energetic reactions and to start learning how to honor each other as physical beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the disgust projected toward ‘humanity’ that I have participated in before and that emerged after watching a group of people deciding upon another being’s life to go through the worst-case scenarios, is in fact my own self-interest and selfish self-experience wherein I am placing myself as ‘above’ those that are making the decisions, as if I was absolutely innocent within such outflow and being completely responsible toward myself , my own mind and my physical reality which I am not yet – thus I see, realize and understand that I can only generate any form of contempt, disdain and disgust toward ‘humanity’ as a single concept in my mind that I have used to abdicate my own responsibility toward myself, toward within my mind and what such participation contributes with as ‘who I am’ within this world.

 

Thus I commit myself to walk absolutely diligently to establish myself as a physical living being that stops in all ways and forms contributing to the same cycles of abuse through judgment, creating emotional experiences upon such judgment and in the end doing nothing to establish solutions but remain as a single victim that adds up to the rest of the victims that believe one have no ‘power’ to change things, without realizing that we have never in fact have any form of ‘power’ upon ourselves in reality until now that we are realizing we can become self-directive beings that deliberately decide to support/ be and become the solution to establish Life in Equality.

I realize that we have never in fact have any form of actual power or control over this reality and that who we are as living beings require physical self-correction to stop participating in the mind assessing one’s performance as either evil or good – step out of any form of positive or negative energetic experience upon assessing our reality, and instead focus on physical solutions that don’t require any form of judgment, contempt, desire to retaliate others or simply ‘wipe them out,’ as that is obviously foolishly again contributing to the same patterns of separation/ abuse and neglect toward one another.

(Listen to Why it is Important to Investigate the Negative – Part 135 for further education and understanding of what we are in fact facing when we deal with the Evil in this world)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce physical beings to ‘evil characters’ in my mind in order to then create within myself an experience of/as an ‘offended character’ without realizing how in this single participation of any form of backchat or speaking to myself about how ‘fucked we are’ as humanity is only contributing to further characterization and in fact maiming our ability to stand up because within that I am accepting and allowing ourselves to be ‘fucked’ as in powerless, having no ability to self-direct ourselves and essentially within that, accept and allow myself to diminish myself to a single self-defeatism experience that is only existent in my mind – thus

 

When and as I see myself judging people for being ‘evil’ and ‘mean’ and ‘irresponsible’ in my mind, I stop and I breathe. I direct myself to Not participate in these thoughts in any way whatsoever but instead learn about how we function as humanity and see the practical ways in which I can ensure I stop the perpetual cycles of self-abuse such as opposing/ judging or ‘being ashamed’ of being a human being and instead focus on walking the solution to humanity as myself: stopping our minds of desires, wants and needs that lead us to such evil in the first place and become the example of how it is possible to simply look at humanity and have an empty mind, take the facts and propose solutions.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as judgment toward others and reacting emotionally upon another’s actions and projecting blame upon ‘them,’ instead of first taking the point back to self to see where I am in fact reacting because of me being doing the same or simply creating an emotional experience about this spitefulness toward life that I then co-create by participating in my mind of emotions and feelings. I realize that this physical reality is being physically disregarded, exploited and abused and my emotional experience toward it won’t change a thing – I rather absolutely stop, forgive myself for any reaction and continue breathing in my self-stability to be able to direct myself to create solutions, become the solution myself by stopping following my own wants, desires, needs that may in any harm one’s and another’s life.

 

When and as I see myself existing in self judgment and within any emotional experience toward others in my reality, I stop and I breathe within the realization that whatever experience, thought I create toward others in no way contributes to an actual living-solution. Thus I direct myself to instead understand the point that I am judging, see ‘who I am’ toward it, how I am participating in it and in self-awareness direct myself to establish a solution for that which I am judging, which begins by me stopping judging it/ becoming emotional about it and then focus on physical directions/ solutions that can be implemented in order to prevent such ‘evil situation’ from happening in the first place.

 

I realize that we are abusing in the name of satisfying one’s ego and entertainment in this case, wherein the worst-case scenario decisions are being made in order to have a ‘good time’ as a form of entertainment. The same happens when we exert our anger upon others as a form of vindicating our position as victims in this world which becomes nothing else but another grain added to the sack of the plethora of beings that would rather fight against the system/ oppose the government/ retaliate against corporations/ religious institutions and any other association in separation of life that are in no way envisioning a collective agreement to support each other as equals and within that, correcting the root of evil that we have all become and participated within without any form of physical awareness of who we are in fact fighting against.

 

“If Karma Existed – as a Real Law of Consequence and Man had to Pay for What has been Allowed on Earth: there would be No End to Suffering for All on Earth, Virtually for Eternity Now. Many Hope to Escape the Consequence, by Finding all kinds of Saviors. How can anyone Save you from yourself – If you are not Willing to do it for yourself? If you are not Willing to Change you, Why must someone else Change you? Because that is your Greatest Fear, that you Claim that anyone else that try and change you, is Brainwashing you… it is Such a Conundrum, the Perfect Trap.” – Bernard Poolman+

 

 

When and I see myself wanting to blame and project a single experience of disdain toward human beings for the acts they are perpetrating as any form of abuse toward life  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that such abuse is happening all the time in our reality and that my experience contributes to such abuse. Thus I stop, I breathe, I become aware of the abuse, I trace the point to see how such abuse is created in order to ensure that such root-cause of the abuse is self-corrected within me at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can only generate an experience upon that which I have participated/ been/ become myself  – thus any form of externalization of judgment is only a key point that I can direct myself to immediately take it back to self, investigate where and how I have become that which I am judging in others and take self responsibility for it. Such as ever rejoicing in watching another’s pain and suffering which we can condemn as ‘evil,’ however we are all inflicting such pain and suffering by the single acceptance of Money as a system to obtain that which we require to live, and such money is not readily available to all human beings equally, that is the real reverse of life that we are All blindly accepting and allowing in this world-system.

 

I realize that if I was aware of the abuse that we are All Collectively directly inflicting upon each other, upon each animal, insect, plant, life particle in this reality, I would have been consumed by my own anger, shame and remorse about it. Thus existing in guilt, shame, remorse, anger and sadness about what we are Doing upon this world is actually self interest – and within that, wanting to ‘wipe out humanity’ is simply in fact just opting to ‘get a quick fix’ to not have to face the consequences we have all co-created in/as this world we’re living in. This is our Doomsday, this is what we participate in on a daily basis beginning with ourselves in our own minds – thus

 

I commit myself to stop participating within my own Mood-change as my self-doom by creating emotional experiences upon the abuse, evil and neglect upon life and walk my physical process to actually become Life / Live as the reverse of all that evil that I can simply then become aware of, establish the root-cause of such evil, plan a solution that I can live and implement as what’s best for all and as such, promote solutions, promote and become the way that we can practically correct the patterns that have we tend to simply judge or become overwhelmed by in self interest as a personal experience.

 

I realize that my responsibility toward this world cannot be possibly corrected or ‘washed away’ with any form of immediate self destruction, as that would be similar to simply ascending/dying as in leaving our consequence behind as this physical world/ the Earth that is holding all our evil deeds as proof of how we can neglect each other and life with such an ease that should be a focus of attention to start creating a sense of self-responsibility and self-worth as life as equals, because as long as I expect consequence to ‘hit others’ and place myself out of the equation, I am still existing in such self interest as in seeing myself as ‘superior’ to those that I believe are the ‘evil ones,’ without realizing that we’re All in this together and we have Always been together in this co-creative process in existence, therefore there is no way out of facing ourselves, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to live the realization how within any form of desire/want and need to only satisfy my self experience as either in a positive or negative experience about another’s thoughts/words/deeds, I am equally contributing to perpetuating this system of abuse, as the system is founded upon satisfying our wants/ needs and desires through making them available through a monetary system that is already set to only benefit some – within this it is to realize how delusional it is that we have all collectively agreed to only benefit ‘some’ and disregard the majority using reasoning, logic, beliefs and ‘laws’ even to protect such elitist granting of ‘living rights and guarantees’ that have become the reflection of how our own minds function: care for yourself and nevermind the rest –

 

Therefore I take the point of self responsibility toward myself, my own mind and become  a physical living example of how it is possible to become a contribution to Life/ Living and sharing myself, my process within this with others so that more can become aware of another way of living as equals, wherein we can in fact then establish an actual self-awareness to see what we are rejoicing with, to become aware of how it is through our desire/want and need to have certain positive experiences that we overlook the abuse that lies beneath it. And this is existent virtually everywhere since this world and reality has become the epitome of evil and everything that is the reverse of life.

 

Thus, I commit myself to continue living a process of physical integrity as life wherein my thoughts/words/deeds speak and express that which I realize we are, that which I realize has to be done and implemented in this world in order to no more support and cater for the abuse toward fellow living species/beings and become life myself, as that is the actual living-example that can propitiate and place in motion the necessary changes that are urgent in this world, such as establishing the Equal Money System that will certainly enable people to be relieved from having to exist in an endless payroll and survival mode, competing to ‘make a living,’ and instead, have enough time to support themselves, to learn about how our mind works, how to support oneself to become a living-self aware being that is self-responsible through the tools of self-support that are the only ones that will enable us to realize our responsibility within this reality, which are writing, Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application, Breathing and sharing because acting alone is futile in this Journey to Life wherein the outcome will always affect the whole.

 

More to come…

 

Further Self Support:

• Desteni

• Desteni I Process

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

• Equal Money System

 

“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that with parent-child, teacher-classroom, Money-humanity relationships being based on Elitism of/as “the One / Chosen One”, has become platforms within humanity that propagate Competition for Survival – put Man against Man, Man against the Physical/Earth, as all compete for/as their Survival, their Elitism, their “specialness, uniqueness, importance” energy experiences, that we would within such relationships – not consider: a solution to this physical existence where we ensure that each parent is equipped to have children, that each child is ensured a life from birth to death, that all children are ensured an equal and one education, that each human being co-exist within a World System that contribute to life on earth. But, we’ve conditioned/submitted ourselves, our Minds to the systems of this world, in ‘how life has always been’ – instead of standing up, and changing, and taking responsibility for ourselves, for those that have gone before us, with what ‘life on earth’ has become.” – Sunette Spies *

 

 

Blogs:

• * The Chosen One (Part Two): DAY 242

• 
  

  Day 242: Doomsday and God – ADC – Part 89

• This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

 

Interviews that support oneself to understand how to walk our process within the perspective of consequence and informed decisions:

• The Domino Effect of Unknown History – Part 134

• Why it is Important to Investigate the Negative – Part 135

• How Consciousness Evolved to EGO – Reptilians – Part 133

• Demons in the Afterlife – Part 13: The Difference between Energy and Breath.

 

Vlog:

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity? – YouTube

2012: Overwhelmed with Tears by Media – YouTube

230. Opposing My Roots

Elitist Character: Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility– Opposing My Roots: It’s my family’s fault! Character – Writing.

Continuing with:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

• 221. Insanity as a Fear turned into Fascination
  • 222. Insanity as Libertinage
  • 223. Selling and Buying Culture: Character Role Playing in Society
  • 224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream
• 225. Is Living Life about Getting High?
  • 226. Seeking for a Posi+ive Fix All the Time?
  • 227. Are We Addicted to our Emotions and Feelings?
  • 228. Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility
  • 229. Not Understanding the Mind leads to Insanity

 

If I look back at where did I get these emotional imprints from, it’s quite obvious that they stem from our parents and immediate family which is the environment where we shaped ourselves from the very first 7 years of our life, determining ‘who we would be’ for the rest of our lifetime. We are currently aware that no couple of parents are absolutely aware of all the intricacies and considerations that must be regarded when it comes to preparing themselves to have a child and then to also Know How to Educate a Child in order to ensure that this absolutely important process of bringing another life into this world is considered as the most important task any human being can embark themselves on in this life.

I got a very cool reality-check when listening to the Horse Interviews

Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse

wherein I realized to what extent we don’t honor each other and the totality of what is here as ourselves, I can say it with words how it was a cold-shock to realize how we are seen by animals as the example of How NOT to do/ be/ become or bring “life” on Earth, and instead how we should learn from them. Hearing the entire explanation certainly made me reconsider everything I had secretly loathed – well, most like openly loathed – about bringing children into this world and essentially, giving birth to new beings.

 

In terms of the development of our emotions and feelings, it’s common to always try and ‘make the baby happy’ and imprinting the reward system with concealments like giving milk to the child so that he can ‘shut up’ – I know I would do that and get it right every time. I learned how to get people’s attention through throwing a tantrum until I was old enough to realize that I was not going to get anywhere if I would continue, and so I stopped. But there were aspects that were ‘normal’ at home with which I grew up with and never investigated why they were so ingrained. I blamed my own ‘apprehension’ at school or the pressure I would have from peers or anything else, but as far as I remember I was quite angry as a child, always desperate, nervous, fearful, irritable and easily annoyed.

 

Throughout this process I’ve worked with aligning and correcting the patterns to get myself to a point of stability wherein I am certainly more ‘Here’ than creating this constant nervousness or apprehension/ worry/ stress that would lead to anxiety.

 

I can see, however, that I had definitive influences from parental figures in terms of adopting ways to deal with situations like: being impatient, angry, yelling out when things would not work, and get even more irritated when someone tried to ‘calm me down’ as I’ve explained in some previous blogs. This single acceptance of me as an ‘angry person’ and a general irateness became part of ‘who I am’ in such a way that it became unnoticeable to me, I truly believed that one had to just go up in flames every time something was not done the right way/my way, or that I could place order and control through exerting anger upon others = instilling fear within them so that I could have a sense of security and confidence over others. This included intimidating my own parents later on and as I’ve explained, I have memories of being 3 years old and already becoming seriously angry-possessed. I of course don’t blame my parents because I am aware of how I simply acquired this way of being, adopted it as ‘who I am’ and became it without a question, I learned how to ‘make others feel bad’ for myself and the moment I would see they would go into this ‘helplessness’ with/ toward me when being in such irate states, I would put even more effort within my own anger-possessions, which is where the entire point of ‘you are crazy’ came up and developed this entire spitefulness mode within me toward… well virtually anything or anyone that would be ‘against’ my way of being/ looking at things or trying to ‘impose’ me anything- yes, authority issues if you call it that.

 

I am aware that my mother would speak with me about these situations, but I just didn’t want to hear because the energy experience was more overwhelming than any form of common sense, and I would only shut up when I was too tired/ drained from throwing tantrums. Now, these points were not that often but, when I would get angry, it was quite hectic.

 

I also remember looking at other kids in the supermarket, crying and throwing a tantrum toward their parents so that the parents would buy them toys, and I would feel as if I was ‘over that,’ already comparing myself to others and basing the ‘who I am’ in relation to other kids, but I would do the same, probably not about getting  a toy or something like that, sometimes I would throw a tantrum just to not have to go and play with other kids. Hence the whole thing of ‘you are not normal!’ (Read:  111. ‘Why aren’t you normal?‘)

and yes, if you hear the Short Fuse Temper interview, you’ll get my life presented in an interview – with some differences but essentially the mechanism is there Life Review – Short Fused Temper Tantrums « EQAFE

 

Now, the memory that comes to mind is my mother calling my father several names indicating he had some type of anger management problems.  Of course I didn’t know what a mental disorder was nor what the words Actually meant, but just hearing her calling him that became an imprint that I was absolutely unaware of I had picked it up at some quantum level, and the words I remember her saying were ‘neurotic’ and ‘hysteric.’ This is an indication of how we actually speak without any form of awareness of how these emotional outbursts could be elevated to a range of ‘mental disorder’ in a soft-blow manner. It’s been actually absolutely cool to walk a mind construct in relation to my father which I partially shared in this blog, and got to know a lot about myself from that, even shared with him about my anger issues discoveries and solutions.

 

But, going back to the words  I would hear as neurotic, hysteric and others  indicated that there was a problem. I got to be quite aware of diseases from an early age as well as having a grand mother that was sick thought my entire lifetime for various reasons of her tormented life – which I have realized I kind of picked up in relation to this ‘depression’ and self-belittlement as well as the way she lead her life of isolation but at the same time existing in this cry-out for help. Lol, she irritated me a lot, I would irritate her just because I could. I have this memory of going to her house and just being ‘in the mood’ of irritating her and so, she was quite a ‘mess’ in her room and she would always have this entire box with medicines in it, she was always on medication – of which I remember also making fun of  all the meds she’d take as well – and I saw that it all was quite messy and what I did was: grabbed the box and ordered all her pills and medicine containers in what was a ‘perfect manner’ according to me. I wanted to ‘do good’ but at the same time I knew it would somehow piss her off, so, it did. She got quite pissed off and Marlen went into the mode of ‘I will never do anything good for her ever again!’ and so our relationship went on within that vein.

 

I always tried to ‘play funny’ with her because she was always in this irritable state. Hence my dislike for her was mostly a fear of becoming like her and I can see how till this day every time that I want things to get done As I Say, When I Say it is an indication of me playing out my grandmother and as such my mother and somehow my father as well. She was the type of person that played strong to raise her children while my grand father had several other children with other wives, so the entire victimization character and helplessness was coming form there as well as many other points like how to get people’s attention through being sick/ causing conflict in order to have power over others and so forth.

We developed this half-joking way of pissing each other off when we would meet. She would laugh and I would laugh but I can only have some few memories of us having any real conversations, which would mostly be about her memories/ her life/ getting to know her a bit, and that’s the end of our relationship. She died when I wasn’t in this country. I never bothered to go see her grave or anything like that and I see that when I bring her up there’s still some scorn toward her for whatever reasons I have secretly blamed her for, such as causing much distress in my mother, which I then saw as the reason why my other would be possessed and then take it out on us in one way or another. All these constant worrying, being infatuated with things, obsessed, hypochondriac, fearful became aspects that I have played out as well and can identify I would judge of her all the time.

 

Obviously, this is nothing personal since we are all aware we have become our minds through acceptance and allowance and that my point of responsibility is ensure I hold no grudge, idea or belief of ‘them’ doing something ‘onto me,’ but more like Me realizing, seeing and understanding how I accepted and allowed myself to imprint, copy and transfer their personas into myself and play it out, believing this was ‘who I was.’ This became also every clear when I developed an antagonism toward her or any other family member: they are able to show me where I have separated myself from ‘my roots’ through playing the opposite but, in the end, never taken responsibility for it.

 

Another point is that I never went to a psychologist except for one time when I ‘asked for help for my friend’ with my high school’s psychologist and all I can take from her is one vital point. She said ‘who is here asking for help: You or Him?’ – and so it burned my ego out for a moment to realize that I was in fact needing help, but I had refused to do so because of fearing having some form of actual problem, I feared obviously having to be seriously taken as mentally disturbed or having some problem. I don’t know how much I fooled myself within this but, to my eyes even at that time, we all were playing phony characters while inside, when being alone, we all felt equally sad, disgraceful, powerless, ugly, hating ourselves for whatever reason but everyone would just play dumb and happy to create a masquerade, and as much as I would be aware of this, I played along as well pretty much out of fear of having to open myself up to anyone about my experience. That’s one of the reasons I begun writing a lot but, without any form of common sense and actual self support, I would only go round in circles pouring out my emotions and feelings in several notebooks without reaching any form of change, because I was STILL believing myself to be IT.

 

This is how due to the extent that I would hear about people going on medications and having ‘mental disorders’ I simply feared getting that but at the same time made it my personal way of being wherein I would entertain myself with these ‘outrageous thoughts’ and way of looking at life which was also a mechanism to cope with everything that I had deemed as frightening to get to. Which includes fearing eventually going senile and insane and all of the illnesses that would indicate some form of mental disorder. I guess we all have that for that matter when thinking about old age and deterioration of our sanity. So, what’s the way to make peace with it? Turn the fear into a fascination, turn the fear into something  you can have some ‘control over’ apparently – hence my story. I never took a single pill for any form of mental disorder since that was absolutely seen as taking regular drugs by my family. But I never reached out for any form of support to understand my experiences other than equally ‘lost’ friends with whom I created bonds that lead me to only upgrade my self-beliefs. This was so until I got to Desteni.

 

So, this proves how also due to knowledge and information and fear of having to be labeled as depressed or having some form of chronic anxiety (read your Wikipedia it’s the new way of calling ‘neurosis’  “Instead, the disorders once classified as neuroses are now considered anxiety disorders”)

 

I am here walking this process to take responsibility for All the knowledge and information that I imprinted as ‘who I am’ based on environmental/ familial/ peer influence of which we are all affected by even if we ‘like it or not.’ This is one of the reasons why it must be understood that: unless we care for each other as equals and ensure a general Well Being and ‘Mental Health’  in society,  our current social-insanity will still seep through our educational systems, our entire system configuration that is based on a constant process of instilling FEAR instead of ways and support to Live. Hence it is virtually impossible for any person to be absolutely ‘sane’ and ‘normal’ in this  world wherein the very mechanism of how the mind worked was not at all in accordance to living life, but exists as the very Evil / Reverse of Life that we all accepted and allowed ourselves to become. And obviously to make a business out of it is a double mindfuck to say the least.

 

Long story, but will work with it bit by bit as quite a ‘few’ points came up today. How did I get to this? Word in the dictionary: kinsfolk – and so, got to see the points I had deliberately side viewed from my past until now.

 

Within this all we can see how we made a ‘big deal’ out of these emotional experiences in our mind, self created at all times. Equated them to points I had to try and ‘sort out myself’ without knowing I was reinforcing them, instead of ever realizing it was me and my mind participation that can be self corrected. We’ve essentially made a disease of a relationship that was already in no way ‘harmonious’ such as what the mind represents in relationship to the physical body.

And all of this is certainly something to take Self Responsibility for.

— This will continue  with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application on the afore mentioned points

 

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Support Yourself, Free Course

• Desteni I Process – Get to know yourself to Stop playing insanity

• Equal Money System  – To no longer make of Health another asset to sell to humanity and all living beings.

 

 

Blogs:

DeBA(I)Ting Life (Part 2): DAY 230

Day 230: The White Light and the Legion of Angels – ADC – Part 77

 

Interviews:

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 1

• Quantum Systemization – Preview Free

• Interview Download

• Life Review – Short Fused Temper Tantrums

229. Not Understanding the Mind leads to Insanity

Self-Addiction to Emotions and Feelings as ‘Who We Are’ = Self Interest

Elitist Character: Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

• 221. Insanity as a Fear turned into Fascination
  • 222. Insanity as Libertinage
  • 223. Selling and Buying Culture: Character Role Playing in Society
  • 224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream
• 225. Is Living Life about Getting High?
  • 226. Seeking for a Posi+ive Fix All the Time?
  • 227. Are We Addicted to our Emotions and Feelings?
  • 228. Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility

 

 

“the Mind/Energy will ‘fight’ for its Polarities, its relationships, its For/Against definitions, because in this process – it maintains friction/conflict, which is what fuel the existence of the Mind, which is what fuels the existence of this very World System, which fuels the attention-diversion/distraction of the Majority of Humanity to be preoccupied in Polarities, Polarity definitions, fuelling separation “divide and conquer” – while the Minority Elite take the reins of Humanity/life on earth – cause no-one is willing to give-up/let go of their Polarity, their Personality Definitions and actually UNDERSTAND ALL THINGS and align them into and as equal and one Solutions for ALL.” – Sunette Spies*

 

Self Forgiveness on who I shaped myself to be as my emotions and feelings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the energy of friction and conflict as ‘who I am’ within my mind without realizing that it was a part of me that I believed I had a ‘right’ to exist as, because: it is coming from me, it must be me – and in this abdicate my very first awareness to the thoughts in my mind as ‘who I am’ and ‘what I am,’ and from that moment on, losing any perspective to question my thoughts and experiences coming up in the mind and felt in my physical body, but instead simply continued to believe that this inner experience of friction and conflict had a ‘reason’ to be inside me and such, begin defining ‘who I am’ according to my mind, the nature of my thoughts, how I experienced myself as thoughts, emotions and feelings wherein my attention then centralized and focused on Me, My Mind, How I feel, beginning to neglect the rest of the beings and reality in itself just because of being focused on ‘who I am as the mind,’ missing out even the reality of myself as my own physical body within this mind-mode.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually use and fuel my own self conversations as a form of entertainment and re-assuring that ‘I am this mind,’ because the process of identifying myself ‘as my mind’ became solid as a child and as such, having this be confirmed by people around me when they started to identify me with a certain character like being ‘angry’ or ‘too aloof’ or ‘too conflictive’ or spoiled, which lead me to continue growing up believing that there was a ‘problem’ within me and that I was not normal/ not as other kids because of having this inner-conflict within me of any kind really,  that I could not ‘sort out’ but believe that ‘this is who I am/ I was born like this/ there is no solution’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that this friction and conflict is something that defines me and that I would have to bear with the rest of my life, that there was no questions about it and that I would most likely end up like the adults, being able to ignite in extreme anger in one moment and not be able to stop, which indicates how I became aware of emotions as the aspect I resonated more with, which became a point of identification just because of what I had been exposed to in my reality as a child, which then defined ‘who I am’ according to these surges of anger  and distress that I would experience but was not able to solve within myself, therefore accepting these surges of energy as incontrollable/ unstoppable and ‘who I am,’ which is how I have come to accept the totality of the mind as myself without a question.

 

I realize that yes, the mind represents everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to separate ourselves from as ‘our nature’ as humanity which is not of harmony or completion or stability or benevolence, but, of actual evil as the reverse of life as all aspects of separation that we accepted and allowed ourselves to become. This is how I realize that I accepted conflict as a ‘problem’ within myself – just as any other human being – and that due to not knowing how others would also experience themselves, I created a point of specialness as in having some form of ‘anomaly’ for having these ups and down experiences which I identified as being actions that only ‘crazy people’ would have/ experience, eventually wearing the tag as a way to justify my inner conflict and even take proud of that because in one way or another, I was justifying my own personality as ‘special’ and ‘unique’ for having this ways of being which I actually fooled/ kid myself to believe I had no control of, when in fact as I review  such moments, I realize I absolutely was aware of what I was doing and how what I did was a deliberate point of causing and instigating conflict within myself as entertainment and others, because it just felt ‘good.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use friction and conflict within me as a point of self-infatuation and entertainment wherein I began only focusing on ‘How I felt’ in every moment wherein I was given the option to ‘feel good’ or ‘feel bad’ and define everything in my life according to likes and dislikes that became points/  aspects of self identification by people in my environment as ‘who I am,’ and within this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that because people were okay with having things that they like and dislike or specific characteristics/ moods/ preferences, I was able to then do the same and seek the most unique ways to exist in comparison to them, which is how everything that I perceived as ‘normal’ around me, became my standing point to define myself as everything that I would be ‘against’ to, without realizing that it was never ‘Me’ as a physical being living at all, but just existing as a mind that would lead to define oneself according to standing ‘against’ the majority, standing against/ opposing one’s “normal-environment,” only for the purpose to have a way to stand as a ‘different’ or ‘authentic’ personality defined in opposition to others, and in this only fueling and supporting the separation, the friction and conflict that ensued from that moment on in my life,  wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this identification of who I am as the mind, I defined ‘who I am’ according to being ‘the opposite’ to what my family and peers at school represented, and as such, build  my own specialness and security within these definitions at a mind level, which only lead me to every time seek to upgrade my ‘personality’ and preferences, characteristics as a way to not only then antagonize my family or people at school, but the world system in itself in a spiteful mode that I took on toward everything and everyone, without realizing that everything that I spiting at all times was only myself when and while neglecting my very own physical body and the substance that I am as life, using it to power and fuel my  mindfucks, literally, which is unacceptable – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept this culture of ‘personality cultivation’ and creation based on defining me as a particular character with preferences and temperament as all the thoughts, beliefs, ideas and opinions I started creating as ‘my point of view’/ my way of being, without realizing that every single definition that I took on as myself became just another way to define myself As something that would invariably stand within one pole that would create friction/ conflict/ react to the opposite pole as another definition to which I would invariably react to, as I had to somehow ‘defend’ myself as My definition whenever the opposite would present itself in my reality.

I realize that I always had one moment before reacting wherein I would actually decide to ‘role play’ my part and react to that which I was supposed to react to based on my preferences, my personality and that which I defined would make me ‘angry’ or ‘mad’ or happy or sad or excited based on the preferences and personality that I began cultivating as a child as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘fill the character’ that I became by my own apparent ‘will’ to do so, and do, react, say and speak the way that I had built myself to be, do, act and speak like, within this complying to the social norm of becoming a character that is predictable and would react against/ oppose or like that which is defined as the oppostite polarity of myself. Within this also,

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘follow through’ with my own script throughout the years and continue fulfilling the reactive character every time that I was almost expected to ‘fulfill the character,’ which is how I realized that the personalities that I created were mostly  ‘a show’ for others, a way to stand in self-importance, specialness, uniqueness and in that learned to only focus on my self, fulfill myself, react when I was expect to do and never question again this as something that could be stopped, because, I had already ‘gotten married’ with the idea of myself/ gotten too much into character, which then became a Lie I had to follow through with and eventually it integrated fully as ‘who I am’ over the years and that was it. I believed that I could not ‘change me’ and stop participating in the character because of the fear of ‘who would I be without it,’ not realizing that the only thing that fears stopping self definitions is the mind, not who we really as as a physical body that is actually being abused and neglected throughout our developmental processes in the mind wherein we are only focused on cultivating our characters and self-experience.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the inner conflict experienced would always be with me and that I would grow up to be as angry/ neurotic as the adults I was aware of in the family, and that I would end up being somehow sick and with some form of mental problem or disorder as well as an emotional problem – such as chronic depression or constant worry and stress – without ever really having investigated how this all was just part of me having identified myself with my thoughts, feelings and emotions as ‘who I am’ as well as adopting the ‘ways of being’ from the characters around me in the family/ society, and as such, believing that I had something ‘wrong’ within me because the inner conflict would not go away – hence believing that I was invariably going to have a ‘disease/ sickness/ mental problem’ at a later stage in life – hence

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize to what extent there is ignorance in humanity with regards to the nature of how the mind works, wherein one single energetic experience was perceived as something utterly ‘wrong,’ or a malfunction, anomaly or disease because of how we’ve programmed ourselves to believe that what we see on TV or as the façade of each other as ‘harmonious,’ ‘happy’ and naturally joyful beings was in fact ‘real’ and had to be ‘who we are,’ without realizing it is a masquerade to hide the actual fear, stress, depression that is experienced within, as that is the nature we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind, fueling this constant belief that we have to ‘keep up with the positive’ while all the time we experience this inner-conflict when participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions that veered toward the opposite and no matter how we categorize our experiences as positive or negative, they all represent a point of conflict which indicates energy which is of the mind and as such, able to be stopped and self corrected as a point of Self Responsibility.

 

I realize that this  ‘incongruence’ of my inner experience and the outer experience I was supposed to present, created a rift within myself believing that ‘there was something wrong with me,’ and this mostly being talked about in the media as mental disorders and being depressed or having low self esteem, being addicted to a form of self-abuse, belittlement and all of that which was considered as a mental problem/ a Grave problem, which I then kept quiet about and kept a well placed façade of ‘everything is fine, I am perfectly normal,’ even within my dissident/ antagonist characters, but ‘normal,’ and such, veering toward other ways to ‘make sense’ of my inner conflict, leading me nowhere but further confusion and relationships that supported this inner conflict, which became the focus on my life, trying to make sense of it through others, through living the lives of others and avoiding looking at my own, becoming friends with and having relationships that I thought I could use as a way to sort out my own inner conflict through others, instead of focusing on my own and within this, only aggravating the inner conflict that I kept for myself all the time, out of fear of actually having to ‘ask for help.’  Within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to label these energetic experiences as ‘mental disorders’ to that are in fact the ‘normal’ workings of the mind within how it  operates and understanding that for that matter, all human beings could be labeled as having some ‘mental disorder’ because The Mind in itself works through friction and conflict that we perceive as our emotions and feelings and thoughts, inner conversations, backchat – therefore there was not going to be in any way a ‘mental health’ or stability possible as long as we would seek only to make people ‘happy’ and ‘positive’ and get their ‘motivation’ back up, which is why and how I always resisted having any support because it seemed to phony to just veer to the positive and ‘be happy’ while the reality that I was witnessing, was nothing but happy for everyone, was nothing but harmonious wherein I would witness a world that was existing in constant fights and problems with money, politicians, poverty, wars and all of this only meaning to me one thing: this world is crazy and so am I, within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of ‘the state of the world’ as a way to justify my experience as being ad hoc to the state of the world – madness, instability, depressio, crisis – hence the entire characterization of ‘the sensitive being’ that reacts to what others apparently would not see, and in this becoming even more self absorbed in my own emotional experiences about the world, linking that to ‘art’ and ending up victimizing myself, believing that ‘there is no way out, it’s the devil’s way now’ which is how I see obviously even the music that I would hear would support this entire ‘depressed’ character not because I was not being supported to live – that’s why it is the elitist character, because I was not suffering a physical life of Lack of money/ health/ poverty or abuse – but I was only focusing on cultivating these emotions and ‘sensitivity’ to the world as a point of self interest, because of having learned how ‘artists were sensible beings’ and I actually made people accept me as ‘different’ due to this so-called ‘sensitivity’ and ‘specialness’ that I built in within myself, getting completely in this character that was probably even ‘allowed’ to be alone, isolated, depressed because of the same character of which I also expected to make a ‘name’ of myself for,  and justify my non-compliance to the system as well as defending my ‘point of view’ to not even attempt to create a change within the system itself – in essence: the ultimate justification to Not stand up for my life and the life of this world in equality.

 

All the time that I only cultivated my personality, my inner conflict, my dissatisfaction with life, my helplessness, my worry, my concern, my sadness toward the world, my depression, my confusion about people, my judgmental experiences of opposition toward ‘the world system,’ my desires to just ‘fly away’ and be out of the system, desires to expose the ‘ugly through something beautiful’ in some form of expression were again only actions, words cultivating a character within me, wherein I was not actually willing to investigate my self-experience, my mind and How I had created it, but only ‘get the most of it’ and making it into an acceptable character in society which is why I veered toward arts/ humanitarian studies and ‘dissed’ my apparent potential to become something else because of getting into this ‘sentimental character’ that was apparently my ‘humane’ aspect to cultivate as ‘my real personality’ – thus

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to cultivate my emotions  in order to be on the side of those that were ‘alive’ and could see the world and be sad about it and depressed and feel ‘misunderstood,’ which became really just another self-interest game where I would only remain as a victim, living in constant drama and this belief of there being something ‘wrong’ within me because of not being ‘happy’ and ‘joyful’ naturally – without realizing that:

I had never in fact understood how the mind functioned and how even if I was addicted to feeling sad, sorry for myself, depressed and victimized all the way, is still the same as fixating on everything that is positive, happy and joyful that I criticized extensively in the past, which proves the ignorance toward our own mind wherein we believe that we are somehow being more ‘responsible’ for being sad/ gloomy/ angry at the world when it is just another way to focus on our own experience and not really at all looking at the world and realizing that there are solutions required that will not be solved with us ‘feeling bad’ about it, that’s just blatant self-interest and an actual defense mechanism to not become a sound being that can stand in the face of reality and take absolute self responsibility for ourselves/ the world here as breath, which is what I have realized within this process: we cannot sustain this self-interested experiences of ups and downs and seeking happiness or being subsumed in depressions- which is the same thing – but actually stop participating in all forms of energetic experiences and focus on integrating ourselves to our physical body here as breath, that does Not require to have a particular ‘stance’ toward the world as an experiencing ourselves to do, be, say and act toward what’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to expose how our energetic fixations of the mind as desires, wants and needs – as well as rejections, denials, suppressions – represent the ‘who we are’ as the mind that functions through energy, which is who we have become as consciousness and within this, exposing how we have diminished ourselves in the physical to these limited characters that fight and define one against the other with no ability to actually create solutions, stand up for that which matters, because we are so busy trying to sort out our inner experiences, without even looking at the consequences that are ensuing from such self-experience as a drug of the mind. And so

 

I commit myself to stop any mind fixation within me either perceived as positive or negative and any participation in the self-definition of who I have been as a point of  preference or habit in order to finally be able to stand as  a sound stable physical being that can be effective to be self directive, self-motivated to establish solutions in this world and stop wallowing in any form of self experience as the result of seeing ‘the state of the world’ as that is only but a mechanism of defense to continue existing as a mind that ‘feels’ and ‘becomes emotional’ but establishes no solutions to the problems we’ve created, which is our responsibility at all times.

 

I commit myself to expose how our ‘mental instability’ is nothing ‘out of this world,’ but the mechanism of how the mind works and for this, realizing that reducing ourselves to have some form of ‘mental instability’ is the ultimate self-incapacitation in order to believe that we are not ‘strong enough’ or ‘good enough’ or ‘capable enough’ to stand up to create solutions in this world.

 

I realize that the moment we focus on our mind problems/ inner experience, we absolutely miss out the reality that is here and this is how it is imperative for all of us to get to a point of constancy and consistency as the stability that we are able to all live by here as Breath, as life in the physical, so that we no longer get distracted by our energy fixes of the mind as ‘problems’ and ‘instabilities’ that are self created just as another attention diversion aspect within our worlds.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is only possible for us people that have enough food to eat, a place to live and education to be focusing on this ‘inner experience’ due to having ‘more time’ to spend wondering in the mind instead of being physically working and participating in activities that are related to actually contributing to life on Earth. This is how depression and any other form of mental instability that can be identified as ‘mental disorder’ hence an apparent  “drug-required disease,” is just another way to make money for the pharmaceutical companies that use this ‘weakness’ within the human mind in a capitalist world to believe that emotions and feelings are a disease that can be controlled or healed with chemicals/drugs, instead of actually investigating one’s life to see how these ‘disorders’ were entirely self created, accepted and allowed and as such take responsibility for them, in order to not only correct oneself in one’s living and physical stability, but also to support establishing conditions in this world through education and the necessary changes in the entire system so that whichever system-deficiency is able to be identified as a problem that propitiates this mental problems, we create a solution for, which implies the implementation of the Equal Money System to ensure that people are no longer subject to a survival mode that feeds this inner conflict of the mind, but instead we are able to focus on re-establishing our living conditions to that which is optimal and supportive to be Living in this world as physical beings and no longer existing of/ as friction and conflict in the mind, feeding each other’s mind-realities and instead, support each other to ground ourselves as the physical, stop living as characters and work together to create a world that is based on life in equality.

 

– I will continue with looking at how these energetic experiences of the mind as emotions and feelings causing inner conflict, were reduced to being ‘mental disorders’ of the mind wherein we made an illness of something that is each individual’s point of self responsibility to correct, stop and align to the physical living wherein the focus must always be to stand as beings that support life in Equality with All – and within this, for once and for all, stop supporting each other’s inner-instabilities as ‘who we are’ and dare to call that a human crisis instead of a human problem caused by ourselves and resolved by ourselves individually.

Desteni Forum 

Desteni Lite Process – Free Course of Self Support

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Desteni 

Journey to Life Blogs

 

 

Emotions and Feelings are Self Interest – Stop the Self-Addiction

 

Educate Yourself about How your Mind Operates:

• Self Awareness steps for the Elite

• Quantum Mind Self Awareness

• Quantum Systemization

• Mente Cuántica – Consciencia de Uno Mismo

Blogs:

• Day 229: Thought at the Quantum Level – ADC – Part 76

• *DeBA(I)Ting Life: DAY 229

 

Interviews to Step out of the Mind and realize the opportunity and responsibility we hold toward ourselves/ each other to create a world that is livable for all:

• Giving Up on Myself – Life Review

• You Never Actually Lived – Life Review

• When EMPTINESS is REAL – Life Review

228. Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility

 

Before even getting ourselves into any form of doubt about having a ‘mental disorder,’ one should realize that the current explanation any psychologist, psychiatrist, neurologists or any other form of physician can provide about how the mind works is limited to what the human eye/ mind can assess of itself. This means: it is as limited as our ability to see reality and how it actually functions, which lacks of any form of understanding in order to provide for solutions that can better the lives of all individuals equally. You require proof of of this? Look at this world, there’s our proof/ truth/ reality and it is certainly not working at its best at all.

This is how and why the Desteni Research over the past 6 years is of utmost importance to humanity in order to understand How the Mind actually Functions and what Consciousness in Fact Is. It is virtually playing god or saints to give some miraculous power these chemicals/ drugs and expect any form of supposed ‘mental disorder’ be cured while having absolutely NO idea of how such  perceived/called/named ‘disorder’ was created by the individual through all environmental influences/ exposure in the first place.

Continuing from:

• 220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle
  • 221. Insanity as a Fear turned into Fascination
    • 222. Insanity as Libertinage
    • 223. Selling and Buying Culture: Character Role Playing in Society
    • 224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream
  • 225. Is Living Life about Getting High?
    • 226. Seeking for a Posi+ive Fix All the Time?
    • 227. Are We Addicted to our Emotions and Feelings?

 

As a recap, I have gone through a general perspective of how this drug culture is currently a multi-billion making market that exists within a very well regarded sector of our society which is, paradoxically enough, the health system. The problem is that this HELLth system is lacking any actual understanding of the human mind to in any way provide actual support for what’s been called ‘mental disorders’ of which we are quite familiar with since there is a constant bombardment within the media – and by psychiatrists themselves- to diagnose any person, including children and babies as young as 2 year olds, with disorders that they can give some prescription drug for and make a sustainable amount of profit from all the people that get literally hooked on legal drugs, and yes, that is legal as it is within the framework of the ‘health system’ and approved by so-called authorities at a governmental level. Lack of policies that care for life and only go for the money? Absolutely.

 

Where’s our responsibility?

This is as important as valuing your own life: there exist in no way a possibility for any form of drug to ‘cure you’ of that which You have created and programmed yourself within who you have accepted and allowed yourself to be and become as your mind in all its layers and systems. All of this is being explained within the interviews that explain the actual technology of the mind with absolute specificity to ensure that we, as humanity for the first time, get to actually KNOW what the hell is going on within our minds and how there is no actual ‘disease’ but only self created patterns, habits, coping and survival mechanisms to exist within a world wherein we learn how to define ‘who we are’ according to our mind only, who we are as our emotions and feelings, as out thoughts and internal conversations; within this, and once one realizes to what extent we have virtually absorbed our environment to accept it as ‘who we are,’ we are all collectively responsible for everything and everyone in this reality, because the moment I accepted that ‘I am my thoughts,’ I became subject to cultivating this who I am according to these thoughts that I actually imprinted, copied, transferred from my environment/ sphere of influence, my ‘education,’ that which surrounded me wherein if I would have been a feral kid living with wolves or cows, I would have Not developed the human-traits of identifying myself with thinking processes or developing my emotional and feeling bodies as we are taught to do so by our parents from the very first moment we are driven to be ‘entertained’ or ‘pull out a smile’ or being made ‘happy’ with plastic toys and colors, pictures, sounds and gestures that we get bombarded with while being barely able to discern our reality. All this world of constant stimulation is what we have accepted as ‘who we are’ as ‘what makes us feel good,’ and for that: we had to accept thoughts, feelings and emotions as the mind, as energy created by our acceptance of this entire energy-based system as ‘who we are.’ Where is the physical body within this? Nowhere. And what is created from not being able to obtain this positive feel-goodness? Mental instability/ disorders through our perceived lacked of that promoted ‘happiness’ as an actual state of being natural to the human being.

For more on this you can read:

210. Not Having Money Makes You Sad– but Why?

198. Wealth and Positivity a Synonym of Abuse «

209. Successful Living = Capitalist Brainwash «

115. Following our Dreams is Plain Delusional «

 

 

Getting Rid of the Mind = Getting Rid of the Problem?

A common belief there is within and while walking the Desteni material is ‘getting rid of the mind’ / getting rid of knowledge and information/ stop thinking, when it is not about that in itself: we are the mind, it is an integral part of ourselves and it would be as ludicrous as saying I am not my blood vessels – and this is due to how ingrained and intertwined the mind in fact exists within the physical body. Thus, what we are doing here is walking a process to Align ourselves as beings within our physical body to integrate ourselves within our physical bodies, living in physical common sense which does not require all the friction and conflict that the mind is always instigating as our thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ to keep us all well entertained ‘up there,’ while disregarding the actual mechanisms of how the mind works and What Powers such mind which is the physical substance, just like we extract the oil from the earth as substance to transform it into gas to be able to move around in our motorized vehicles. Same process – look at all the problems that exist in this world due to this process which I explained in more detail here: Day 2 – Running out of Oil «

 

The mind resources energy from the physical body to exist. And every time we accept the mind as who we are we consume ourselves which implies that this is the reason why our current system is entirely energy based. The Soul of Money series explains this precise relationship of the relationship between the mind and the physical as the economic model that we’ve implemented in our reality as our current capitalist system, and that analogy in itself should be taken into consideration by more analysts and professionals in terms of finding an economic solution to this world. We do have our own common sense being provided within the Economist’s Journey To Life  blog that provides all the necessary understanding and exposure of our current economy and how to practically transform into an equality based system.

 

Within this, it is to see that the moment we accept ourselves to be our mind’ we accept the entire system as it is – and this single aspect as a virtual ‘normalcy’ that we’re born into, is what we’ve used to keep us going nowhere but down the road of self destruction, because no one has ever questioned The Mind as who we are in the first place, not to mention the totality of how the mind functions as all that which we are only aware of at a conscious mind level only, which is only the tip of the iceberg of everything that the mind in fact really is and the extent to which everything we have ever been has only been a byproduct of this energetic-resourcing mechanism that the mind inflicts and imposes onto the physical body – is this a matter of coincidence? No, it is human engineering that is explained by the creators of the human physical body themselves and the races that came before the human being – for that, listen to the Reptilian Series and the Atlantean Series to get to understand what the relationship creation process entails – and no, it is not about ‘partnership relationships’ but definitions we created toward everything and everyone in our reality based on Energy.

 

 

So, is ‘Energy’ the bad guy then?

No, as everything that is Here in this existence is ourselves, it is the same as wanting to blame money for being evil in this world when it’s not ‘money’ in itself that’s the problem, but  Who We Are As that money which implies that the human nature – and for that matter – the existential nature of what we became from the moment we separated ourselves from our oneness and equality. This primordial ‘times’ explanation is walked through the series The Secret History of the Universe that tell the never-before known/ understood archives of our existence, books from the library of Alcyone that are being narrated/ translated by one of the only beings that had access to that information to reveal How the very first form-manifestations in existence existed-as and related to one another – and this is explained to the T in the following interview:

The Secret History of the Universe – Is Energy Life – Part 6

 

This is why responsibility resides within each one of us as there is no way ‘you’ could be out of this existential process and emerged out of ‘nowhere’ in this reality, this is how is plain delusional to believe we hold no responsibility toward ourselves, the world, each other, animals, and everything that is existent in our reality.

This is also why we are walking our individual process of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application to understand How we have separated ourselves from our physical body, which is an expression that implies that: we accepted and allowed ourselves to define ‘who we are’ as individuals and toward each other according to a systematized version of life through energy, which is the mind, the mind works on energy which is a reduced awareness of substance which at the same time, is also a part of and what life is as there is nothing ‘left out’ within this existence from being part of ‘who we are.’ This is why we talk about equality as life, we are one and equal as part of this same existence,  each human being is existing as/ made of the same ‘fabric’ as everything and everyone else.

 

We had ignored the fact of how the mind worked and how it was in fact not the actuality of Living life in the physical, but reducing Life to a single set of energetic experiences assessed by all the layers of the mind in order to create an output of ‘who we are’ according to knowledge and information toward that part of reality/ person/ point we are looking at in reality, which means that we have always only lived through our minds, as energy – not as physical breathing beings that assess physicality by seeing direct – and Not through the perception of what we’ve become as the characters, personalities, knowledge and information as the mind. Yes, we were ‘unaware’ of how it all worked, BUT we cannot deny at all that we were ‘unaware’ of the consequences that are here in our face every single moment as our reality and what we’ve become when cultivating this personified version of ‘life’ at the expense of Life, which is again, at the expense of ourselves.

 

Thus the mind is who we are as what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become – which is our responsibility. It is who we are because it represents all the relationships we  created within our processes of individualization, which is – in very basic terms – to imprint and assign energetic experiences to things, people/ parts of our reality in order to define ‘who we are’ toward ‘them/ that’ – this is how separation began from our physicality into energy: defining ‘who we are’ as thoughts, emotions, feelings, how we ‘experience’ ourselves toward other parts and people and particles of our reality, which is then what requires a point of self-definition in order to assess ‘who I am/ what I want to be’ in relation to this/ that part of reality. But at the same time, due to understanding how the mind functions and operates, we cannot possibly define who we really are as only these Experiences that we have toward people/ reality/ beings and determine that as ‘our living’/ life / all that we are – no way, yet unfortunately that’s how we’ve lived as human beings: I am a woman, I am a mother, I am a father, I am an engineer, I am a lover, I am a loser, I am a drug addict, I am a savior, I am intelligent being, I am a depressed person, I am a deceiver, I am a happy person, I am a wealthy being, I am a special unique individual….

At a physical level in common sense, there is no need to differentiate ourselves according to ‘how we feel, think or experience’ ourselves about others or reality in its totality – however, we all complied to this process even before humanity existed – and that is absolutely each and every single person, being or manifestation’s responsibility because within this all: we are all equal and one, and that is not some nice magical term but an actual consideration of the responsibility we hold toward ourselves as individuals, as our physical, as our mind and toward each other for everything that we’ve become.

 

Then why do we have to ‘Forgive Ourselves?/ Apply Self Forgiveness?’

Why Self Forgiveness is necessary? My perspective and realization throughout this process is: How else could be give ourselves the necessary authority and self-will to realize the fuckup, realize where we deviated ourselves from this equality and oneness, to within this self-directive process,  gather enough courage, self direction and integrity in Common Sense to have the absolute decision to support ourselves to, for the first time, to in fact Live, not as a programmable energetic platform that we’ve been living by/as ‘who we are’ as all the personalities/ characters that constantly and continuously ‘remind us’ who we are. Seriously, does life require all of this mayhem of personalities, interests, self deluded ideas of grandeur in order to exist? No, that’s the result of our separation, because in separation, we will always seek to get back to the ‘whole,’ but this ‘wholeness’ is understood as a ‘moreness’ – which is where greed comes from – instead of walking bit by bit our process to understand the actual equality and oneness that we are and can live by As Individuals when equalizing ourselves as our physical body, as our mind, so that we are no longer energy-driven bots seeking for the next fix of an energetic high to be or become something ‘more’ than what we Already Are as the totality of everything that is here.

 

Education is Necessary for any Real Change

This is part of what I’ve learned this year thanks to what I can call the Existential and Humanitarian Educational Research conducted by the Interdimensional Portal at Desteni, wherein we are able to get perspectives from the systems themselves to understand what consciousness is, who we are in relationship to it, why we are existing in this world, what are the solutions, what is our responsibility, who created us, why are we only Now getting this information, is there an existence after death? is there a god? what was god? what is our purpose within this  existence then?  – and all I could say is that instead of investing in any form of temporary fix of entertainment, there is no greater satisfaction and stability that one can obtain from these interviews that have allowed me to solve existential woes and questions that would still lead me to be ‘uncertain’ about this entire process and our role within it all. It is absolutely clear to me that only through this education at Eqafe can we assist and support ourselves to In Fact be and become Living Beings that have the necessary understanding – with our respective application with our individual self support of course – in order to create an actual change in this world beginning with ourselves that can surely, this time, stand the test of time and ensure that we never again enslave ourselves to the abusive system and reality we’ve all shaped with our mighty mind forces of self interest as humanity, which is everything that you and I reading this and getting to this point are willing to take responsibility as part of our Self-Realization Process.

 

Standing up for Life in Self Responsibility thus begins within ourselves, our own mind, our own body, our own relationships no matter how ‘petty’ we can see ourselves at this moment, we are standing up for that which represents Life in Equality and there is certainly nothing ‘greater’ than that, but there’s also quite a process to walk in order to ensure we create the best possible ways to implement these realizations in our physical reality, this world, changing our current economic system into an Equality system that can ensure we are in fact able to trust one another as life, and that is the Equal Money System. 

 

Time to get out of the remote-view of our self-deluded versions in our minds of ‘who we are’ and ‘what’s the point’ of all this process – this existence is ourselves and it’s in our hands. We cannot afford to continue diverting our attention with even more self-created problems through our own creation and participation of them in our own ‘heads’ in the first place  due to this basic self definition of who we are as energy of thoughts, emotions and feelings. This whole point proves that as within, so without = we are it all and so is our responsibility equally existent toward the whole.

 

You decide where you stand.

 

Next will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application upon this primordial separation of who we are as the mind and then, Live the realization that: any form of Mind-Instability/ disorder is Self Created and we Must take Responsibility for it ourselves. Not the drugs.

 

Self Support to Begin your Journey to Life is Here:

• Desteni Lite Process 

• Desteni I Process

• Desteni Forum

• Equal Money System to equalize ourselves at a physical level where life is no more sold for money as the delusional values we’ve imposed upon life.
  

 

Must Read Blogs:

• “It’s Not MY Responsibility”: DAY 228

• Day 228: And then the Soul Matured… – ADC – Part 75

• This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

 

Get some incentive to Live and be physically hear through hearing the Horse’s lessons about giving birth to Life in the Physical.

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 1

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 2

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 3

 

Quantum Systemization – Preview

227. Are We Addicted to our Emotions and Feelings?

Elitist Character: Drug Culture – Energy Addiction as our Self-Consuming Demise – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application

Continuing from:

• 220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle
• 221. Insanity as a Fear turned into Fascination
  • 222. Insanity as Libertinage
  • 223. Selling and Buying Culture: Character Role Playing in Society
  • 224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream
• 225. Is Living Life about Getting High?
• 226. Seeking for a Posi+ive Fix All the Time?

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on Energy-Participation in the Mind:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through a thinking and experiencing process that happens at a mind level wherein I have tacitly agreed to consume my physical substance/ the life essence as the fabric of my physical body for the sake of thinking, feeling, experiencing myself As the mind that is a system that requires energy to exist, and for energy to exist, friction and conflict must exist, without ever realizing the consequences that there exist at a physical and existential level of my own accepted and allowed participation in energy.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and integrate the understanding of how energy is created through friction and conflict imposed by the mind upon the physical body and in this, continuing to participate in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I simply would not absolutely and diligently Stop in a self-directive decision, which is how and why we have accepted and allowed ourselves to ‘become addicts’ to our own mind and within this becoming addicts to/ obsessed with that which we allowed ourselves to diminish to a single energetic experience in our minds that we experience as ‘feeling good’/ having a good time, which is always an assessment that must be self honestly reviewed in order to see where and how we have participated in the mind.

 

When and as I see myself leaving a leeway or a ‘flexibility’ to my own stopping of thoughts and internal conversations that lead to emotions, feelings or imaginations, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to breathe in and out deeply until I am aware that the energy / point that emerged dissipated and I am back here as the physical paced of breathing, wherein I ensure my muscles are relaxed, I am in a comfortable position and I am directing myself to do what is here to be done/ directed in my reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that every time I am in my mind creating experiences toward a piece of information/ words that I read, or toward another being or the environment, I am reducing physicality to a single stream of knowledge and information within my mind,  that in no way represent who I am as a physical being as one and equal to everything that I am thinking of or becoming emotional, or creating feelings about, but that this only benefits the configuration that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind-system that reacts with thoughts, emotions and feelings to knowledge and information that I then convert into an experience later on filed and stored as memories, pictures, sounds in order to identify ‘who I am’ toward reality according to the reactions I have programmed myself to exist as.

 

When and as I see myself participating in thoughts, internal conversations, backchat, reactions toward something/ someone in my mind, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am diminishing physical reality to a single stream of knowledge and information which is Not Real here as the physical and instead, realize I am one and equal to everything to everything that I am aware of in that moment as the substance of the physical that we are all made of. Within this, the only practical assessments I can do, are based upon common sense which is the way in which I direct myself to stand one and equal to my mind in order to no longer be ‘fed’ with experiences of emotions and feelings that I am not directing, but instead I become the directive principle of every single aspect I decide to participate in.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create Energy from my very own participation in thinking and internal conversations wherein through participating in the thoughts that get to be in my conscious mind, I am already accepting and allowing myself to be the subconscious and unconscious mind, which implies that the process of becoming energy exists every time that I think, have internal conversations/ backchat, go into an experience or behave in a particular way according to a determined context in my reality, which implies that I am defining ‘who I am’ according to How I Assess reality through the mind, instead of being here physically present, constantly and consistently no matter where or with whom, as the physical in itself adapts to physical conditions, not mind-created experiences according to how it perceives itself based on other beings or a particular environment, which means that I am the only one that is participating in defining ‘who I am’ according to ‘where I am.’

 

When and as I see myself creating a particular different experience within me according to who I am with or where I am in, I stop and I breathe. I realize that in this slight difference I am participating in, I am not existing here as a physical being but as the mind with its various personalities that I direct myself to stop and instead, focus on the practical reality wherein I realize that I don’t require to portray myself within a particular experience in order to interact with others, as being physically here and speaking in common sense is all that is required when it comes to Living Life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to cultivate the personalities that I thought I was ‘free to build’ and construct for myself, due to having seen everyone else doing it, so why wouldn’t I? which is then complying to the social norm of fixating into my own personal creation of ‘who I am’ as the mind with emotions and feelings due to the value and regard feelings and emotions are given by people in our world, wherein someone that would Not ‘feel’ or become emotional, was seen as ‘cold’ or ‘distant’ or ‘jaded’ which is what I feared being and becoming – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever fear existing without emotions and feelings and be seen as cold and jaded in my reality, without realizing that it is through this collective agreement of existing as personalities of the mind, that we have collectively agreed as well to the ongoing self abuse that stems from such self-definitions at a mind level wherein the physicality that enables such self definitions to be fulfilled, is destroyed, annihilated and consumed as this point of identification is what creates separation – and that is through thinking and thinking is a mental process which implies Energy.

 

I commit myself to breathing in order to establish myself as the physical wherein I am no longer participating in the thoughts, backchat or internal conversations and instead, ensure that I am here as the physical wherein I am able to be aware of my breath and my surroundings moment by moment, where no ‘waves’ exist within the physical other than the constant movement in and out of breath as the actual vital sign that I am here and I am alive – I don’t require any emotion or feeling or thought to confirm so.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider the effects and consequences I would have to walk through at a physical level due to participating in the mind as thoughts, backchat, internal conversations because of having admitted such activity of ‘thinking’ as ‘who I am’ and believing that I was doing ‘no harm to anyone by just thinking’ which is one of our usual excuses to not stop and realize that every time that we think, we are not here as our physical body and that we were most likely never going to notice unless we would be able to realize the consequences of participating within energy of the mind later on in life and then blame other factors such as food, pollution, stress or any other external environmental condition, without realizing that every detrimental aspect to ourselves as life, begins at the level of one single thought that already indicates a separation of ourselves from the physicality that does not require to ‘think’ to live, but simply move as self in order to continue existing, which is then focusing on vital processes and activities that support life in itself and within this

I commit myself to stop every time that I see myself thinking within the realization that it is Not Me making a decision to have these internal conversations that come out of nowhere, therefore, I stop within the realization that participating in such mind-chats means I am abdicating the responsibility and the hereness of being Here as breath as my physical body. Thus, I direct myself to think and use my mind as a tool in order to Live in Common Sense

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy experience that rises and that I participate in every time I direct myself to go seek in the web for something that will trigger a sense of excitement within me, which I realize is not me making a decision to have a moment to entertain myself, but that this usually comes when I am in the middle of doing something that is implying me-facing-myself and my responsibilities, which implies that every time I give into these distractions, I confirm that I am in fact opting to go for the Energetic experience  – thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to go and visit certain websites wherein I can read or look at pictures or hear music that I know will make me feel ‘good’ for a moment when I am busy with my responsibilities, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in deciding to ‘go for it’ I am implying that I would rather participate in energy than being here as breath directing myself physically – thus I stick to breathing in and out until there is no movement left as a desire that comes up in the mind and stick to what I am already physically directing myself to do.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be absolutely directive with every single surge of the slightest energetic experience that begins arising within my mind and instead of being absolute and dedicated to stopping it absolutely, I left a leeway which is walking the middle road to not be absolute and dedicated to stopping all thinking and walking this process selectively, as there are definitive feelings and even emotions as well that I allowed myself to participate in – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be Self Righteous about my experiences and justifying my participation in the mind wherein I would simply not be absolute to stop All participation but still leave an ‘open door’ to that which I thought, believed and perceived would not be ‘detrimental’ to my process, without realizing that the more we allow ourselves these ‘little participations in the mind,’ the more we accumulate energy to that particular thought/ emotion/ feeling that we believe is ‘who we are,’ and within that, before we realize it, we’ve lost ‘track’ of ourselves and have become that thought and embodied it to the point wherein now stopping it is more difficult because of all the extent of time and space that I have given away deliberately to participate in the mind, wherein I literally feed my obsessions and disregarded for such moments my physicality and everything that I am aware of within this process

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had a ‘right’ left to have a bit of excitement in my life and indulging in fleeting moments of thinking, becoming emotional or experiencing feelings, which are all stemming from the same processes in the mind wherein there are no ‘innocent’ experiences as I diminished them to be, or ‘natural’ energetic experiences, as I see, realize and understand that All energetic experiences are in fact only existent through the same processes that Any other emotion, feeling, thought, backchat, internal conversations and memories exists as.

 

I commit myself to apply myself within an absolute awareness of myself in every moment, as much as I do when I am participating outside with people, wherein I am aware of every blink of an eye, every breath, my entire physical posture and breathing and walk that into a point of comfort within and as myself no matter if I am alone or ‘with people’ so that I don’t create a personality of ‘awareness’ but instead equalize my self awareness at all times throughout the day, getting myself back to breathing every time that I ‘wander off’ in my mind, missing out on physical reality.

 

I commit myself to be and become alert, aware and specific within my participation in my  mind in order to spot all slightest changes of self-experience which means going into a reaction and identify who I was with, what did I see, what thought crossed my mind, what did I read, what was the last interaction with another being, what am I not directing effectively that is keeping me in a ‘bound’ experience to the mind, which is then the process of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application as the tools to see the points for myself-

I realize this is the most beneficial point I can do for myself whenever I see that there is something I am apparently ‘not seeing’ or ‘being aware of,’ but all that happens is that when I try to make sense of it in my mind only, it remains without any actual physical consideration because it goes away as the thought that it is as a conclusion and realization which is how I require to write it all out, place it in front of me to be and become aware of my own words/ my own ‘script’ at a physical level and within that, self forgive it, correct it, breathe and integrate the self corrective statements as my application from here on, which always implies a dedication to breathing and remaining here, physically.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the experiences that I have cultivated in my mind, specially those ones that I became self righteous about within the belief that I could just ‘keep this little piece of heaven’ within me, which is the same as leaving a back door for abuse to continue while already being aware of the extent of abuse that we are imposing onto ourselves and each other just because of this self righteous identification of who we are as our mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify ‘thinking’ with an entertaining process wherein through imagining and projecting things I would get a sense of upliftment, excitement and even comfort that I defined toward a situation, events, people, activities, foods, entertainment that I have turned into mind-drugs for my personal satisfaction, which implies that I have agreed to abuse and continue abusing myself and others when not honoring life as one and equal with myself but, remain within a self-righteous mode in my mind to continue creating these positive experiences in my mind as a ‘temporary high’ of which it would then take a greater effort to ‘step out of,’ due to the extent of ‘comfort’ that it is to be only imagining, thinking, projecting, picturing events, situations, experiences in our minds while missing out the physical reality that is certainly not going to generate any ‘positive ‘experience’ however, it is to realize that it is through that chasing after the ‘positive experience’ that we have agreed to consume the physicality that we are in order to feed our minds to generate experiences in self interest. Thus

When and as I see myself ‘making it okay’ to continue indulging in an activity/ thinking process/ day dreaming  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this ‘personal entertainment’ has consequences at a physical level that I am not absolutely experiencing, but am aware of, and this is the point wherein knowledge is placed into application and as such, as I see and realize that I am separating myself from the physical every time that I think, feel, become emotional or participate in imagination and backchat, which is then a process that I must ensure I stop in an absolute manner to assist and support myself to be here as breath, supporting myself as life as what I  really am.

 

I commit myself to stop any positive experience, no matter how ‘little’ or ‘innocent’ it may seem as I realize the level of precision and diligence, that I must live by and apply as a continuous self-movement of which I won’t get any positive experience out of, lol, but it is a self-decision made in common sense and within the realization that I am not willing to continue abusing myself, this reality as everything and everyone that I have reduced to knowledge and information that I have reacted toward in a positive or negative experience in my mind for my own personal vicarious pleasures as everything that I had defined the thinking and becoming emotional and creating feelings to be like – this is the point that must be ‘given up’ in an absolute manner in order to be able to stand here ‘absolutely’

 

I realize that it is ‘hard’ initially to let go of that which makes us ‘feel so good,’ but once that we understand how such fixations are only here existent through our own abdication to life, it is a decision made in Self-Honesty and Integrity to decide to stand up as a physical being that will no longer be an automated robot that will be triggered with emotions and feelings and thoughts about self as this entire reality, but instead establish oneself as the actual integrity/ completion that one is able to exist as when being here breathing and having no ‘waves’ in our waters moving, which menas, having no thoughts, feelings, emotions, worries, concerns or desires, wants, needs -  but simply being here. This is what I realize is the most absolute way to be here and when one is diligently integrating oneself as the physical, the energetic experiences feel like a drug throughout the physical body and it’s certainly not a nice experience, and within that

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a ‘feeling bad’ experience out of the energy that I created myself and that I experience within my physical body as a poison or drug of sorts, without realizing that created it for myself and that ‘feeling bad’ about it is only wanting to victimize myself for something that I inflicted upon me – thus

 

When and as I see myself ‘feeling bad’ for experiencing the result of thinking / participating in the mind in a constant and continuous basis, I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘feeling bad’ is still another mind experience and not an absolute stopping here as breath to move physically to assist and support myself to stabilize myself here and remain breathing to not recreate any experience again.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to choose life as in choosing breathing every time that I see myself veering toward/ opting for living out an experience in the mind, and instead become diligent to stop at the slightest energetic experience, through breathing and then immediately investigate the point through writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application in order to ensure that I am aware of what was that point of separation and become aware of how to stop it.

 

This will continue…

Desteni 

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Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

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Watch:

• Quantum Systemization – Preview

 

Interviews that Must Be Listened in order to Value what Life Really is and what we are Doing to ourselves at a physical Level every time that we comply to exist only as a mind that seeks / looks for the ultimate fix, missing out the physical in its totality.

• Quantum Systemization – Crystal and Energy Frequency Design – Part 1

• Quantum Systemization – Consciousness Currents and Choice – Part 2

Blogs:

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  Why did God not take Responsibility for Lucifer?: DAY 227

• Day 227: Ain’t Ye All Gods? – ADC – Part 73

• This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

 

This blog is inspired by MyKey’s Interviews on  Energy Demons which I suggest to listen to understand the effects and mechanisms of energy and our ‘decisions in life’ to get to a point of clarity to see what is ‘driving’ our decisions – is it ourselves as the mind or is it an actual physical decision to participate in a certain manner with other human beings.

• Demons in the Afterlife – Part 8

• Demons in the Afterlife – Part 9

 

Learn how to Value Life and get some practical considerations to bring forth a new Living-Being in this world – If you resisted having children, if you are pregnant, if you are looking toward having children or if you think you dislike Animals, this is a Must Hear:

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 1

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 2

• Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse – Part 3

223. Selling and Buying Culture: Character Role Playing in Society

Continuing with the Elitist Character – Pseudo Rebellious Branch with a sense of Outrageousness as a form of opposing ‘the authority.’

 

• 220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle
• 221. Insanity as a Fear turned into Fascination
• 222. Insanity as Libertinage

 

 

Everything that I described in my last post was me pouring out part of the knowledge that I literally hoarded in order to become a ‘music expert’ for various reasons like: wanting to be a music journalist some day and being able to talk with people that would be equally obsessed with music and form relationships that way, which did happen.  These were more of the ‘long term’ goals, but as I was watching this all I was simply ‘fascinated’ by it – and yes, it is not different to seeing cartoons, TV series or movies or any other form of entertainment that is usually available in houses wherein you can afford to pay for cable TV and expand your TV-droning context of reality. Was I in any way veering my life toward something that was actually beneficial? No, just would go for the mere fix of the experience that I would get from what I saw was ‘innocent entertainment’ because of it being music, I wasn’t realizing how an entire personality was being shaped from all that which I would see and I can assure that I would have only evolved it even further if I had continued from where I was some 5 years ago – I am glad I stopped.

However, how many people are currently as young as 5 years old and dancing to songs by females talking about getting hot sex with their man? Hmm isn’t that a problem? What about all the soft porn that’s now being delivered in music videos? I’ve talked about that before and all I can see is that it is escalating every time, ‘pushing the envelope’ even further, every year doing more and more ‘outrageous’ acts and people defining that as ‘edgy’ and totally cool – well, if we look at the bigger picture, all we’re seeing is how as human beings we’ve defined ‘who we are’ according to what we like, and you’ll see how ‘what you like’ is everything you would get to know of from media/ parents/environment which means that yes, of course, there is no actual free will or free choice or ‘originality’ at all within that – and even becoming a character that opposes all of our current ‘pop culture’ becomes the necessary other side of the coin for the coin to exist. Same deal

Are we blind to see this? I mean for a long time I held all of my preferences as ‘who I am’ and wore them so proudly, because I had ‘invested’ on myself as a character in knowledge, money, time, relationships – I was just directing myself to ‘make it,’ and I guess that the most interesting aspect of that entire breakdown when realizing my personality was not special, unique and that all I was doing was trying to survive and aim ‘at the highest peak’ wherein I was only focusing on me-me-me and perpetuating this ‘good feeling’ as what I then came to imprint to virtually Anything that I would see, due to how visually stimulated I was with all those images I stored in my head of music videos.

Could I say that my ‘career’ was then my apparent free choice and free will? At the eyes of the system yes, but I realize it wasn’t at all. I conditioned myself to do that, I conditioned myself to ‘like’ what I like – stemming from fear and onto fascinations that would simply indicate one thing: the mind was being the ‘driving force’ of it all – not me as who I really am.

Any form of ‘social awareness’ would always remain there as this ‘nagging background’ that I would simply try and suppress every time, pretending I could train myself to ‘have a good time’ as one is taught within  your life: you have to have good times, have fun, spend your money well, etc. But, as I grew older I just turned sadder. My refugee became music which became also sadder and in no way supportive. I turned to books only to feed the fascinations I had gotten from the TV. Where was I as the living being all that time? Nowhere to be found.

This is how important it is to address the problem with allowing our current culture wherein everything that we are as physical beings is reduced to personalities/ characters that are able to interact with each other based on the equal premise of cultivating Ego as ‘who we are.’ At some point I realized it was weird  how when we meet someone, we profile them according to stereotypes that we would acquire from the media and then, we would decide Who we are toward them in a blatant acceptance or rejection, never seeing the being as an equal human being, but immediately reducing ourselves and others to Characters. I for sure cultivated this desire to be a specific character only to attract people with similar personalities and feel ‘at ease’ within my set of preferences = people that could support my design. Yep, image/ego/ idea of self – is that real? No, proof is that I am here as a human being that has been persistently walking a process of aligning all aspect I was once infatuated with in terms of this ‘artistic personality,’ and I’m still alive, living in simplicity and not any longer evolving that same character that sought some form of outrageous stardom in anyway I could.

 

This entire aspect of ‘pop culture’ has been an object of study due to seeing how any form of human integrity was more and more dissolved in order to justify an apparent ‘open mindedness’ that leads to further self-infatuation in energetic experiences of loving and hating, desiring and fearing which are basic primary and rather obvious mechanisms in which we’ve learned we could separate each other and proclaim a sense of ‘freedom’ within it all. Again, necessary to watch The Century of Self to understand where this all comes from.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never consider that I was only able to be and become ‘who I am’ as a personality due to having enough money to live well, have an education and entertainment wherein I could spend my days cultivating my mind as my preferences, likes and dislikes without ever questioning how it is that I am able to do this, but anyone else having no money, no TV and no time for ‘entertainment’ could not in any way even dedicate themselves to ponder about ‘personalities’ and cultivating ‘characters’ that certainly Do require money to exist and form part what is acceptable or not acceptable in our society, which proves that anything that I have cultivated as ‘who I am’ is only the result of money – period.

Having this premise in place, I can now within this blatant acceptance and allowance of self interest to run as ‘who  I am’ due to the security and ability I had to do so because of growing up in a family with enough money to live well, I can proceed to self forgive the characters I’ve become and supported within this vantage point of a limited version of reality as entertainment/ media and personality-cults that I came to be ‘fascinated’ by only as a mind experience that I sought to equate myself to – hence

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire equating myself to characters that would trigger the most ‘excitement’ and ‘enjoyment’ within me as an energetic experience based on images, words, pictures, sounds that I came to shape as ‘what I like,’ not realizing that these ‘likes’ and preferences were only the result of me identifying all of this to a ‘good time’ and entertainment, which became a rather influential aspect of ‘who I am’ without ever wanting to actually admit how everything that I believed myself to be special or unique for, was only the result of my own deliberate participation in patterns and behaviors that would stand out of the ‘usual’ and as such, create a sense of separation from what I defined as ‘the herd’ as the rest of the people that I would secretly continually judge/ oppose/ criticize and essentially ‘inferiorize’ within this sense of ‘freedom and expression’ that I learned to cultivate based on characters on a screen.

 

I Forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to simply absorb all the pictures,  sounds, people’s personalities and everything that I would consider as ‘music on TV’ while growing up wherein I believed that I was being special and unique for liking all of that stuff, evolving my desire to be an ‘antagonist’ within my environment within this same desire to be special and in that, learning how to Cultivate my ego, imprinting behaviors, words, mannerisms, ways of looking, talking and relating to others based on what I would witness from people on MTV – specifically – never realizing or even questioning why it is that these personalities were being deliberately placed on TV, but instead only absorbing them all and forming the ‘who I am’ as the preferences toward particular kind of music, looks, people, appearances, ways of behaving, acting, relating to the world etc., wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever idolize people that I would watch on MTV with such obsessive behavior that I would only feed myself with their words and images as a way to ‘become’ them and be already preparing the ‘who I wanted to be when I grow up’ as early as 10 years old, which indicates that the role models I had were based on these ‘media characters’ that were designed and allowed specifically to guide or direct the population to focus Only on these ‘future life aspirations’ of being/ becoming characters like our ‘idols’ as musicians/ artists and as such, be always entertained with that and diverting our attention by our own decision and ‘will’ to only focus on entertainment/ personalities that would instigate a desire and a ‘feel good’ experience for all they represented as being ‘free’ and ‘expressive,’ which in my case became an aspect I longed to be and become and eventually did based on copying mechanisms from these roles in media.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately lead myself to like that which was the most shocking or feared by ‘others,’ in order to create a point of antagonism, rebellion or simply ‘pushing the envelope further’ within my reality, wherein there was a sense of specialness and uniqueness for being a ‘young child’ and already knowing about that which only teenagers should be talking about, which then became an entire personality imprint of wanting to hang out with older people and diminishing people my age to being ‘too immature’ for my age, but all that happened is that I deliberately sought to be ‘out of the herd’ by liking what I deemed to be ‘unusual’ at the time – all of this becoming nothing else but a constant and continuous forming, shaping and molding of my own personality at a young age.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had a ‘natural likeness’ toward the things that I believed I liked, not realizing how I created such likeness according to the frequency I would expose myself to a plethora of images and sounds that became part of ‘what I like’ based on basic self-conditioning to only expose myself to this particular media on a daily basis.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the belief that I had to build/ construct the most ‘awesome’ personality that I could in order to be that which I wanted to be/ become based on characters I would see on TV, mostly musicians that I had defined as ‘free, expressive’ people, and some of them even intelligent, which is an aspect that lead me to ‘be fond of’ particular characters in pop culture based on words, but in terms of them in any way being an actual example of how to live as a human being regarding life in equality: there was Nothing of that at all, which indicates that intelligence or any form of common sense was also veered only toward a self-appraisal and in no way being an actual role model to follows as an example of what it was to live –  Even more so when understanding how this apparent ‘depth’ in their words was mostly drug induced – which is the pointer that will be discussed in posts to come.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question why this ‘open minded people’ – according to me – were being broadly supported and broadcasted on TV if they were too shocking or too ‘insane’ to be portrayed on TV, not realizing that it was all part of the same mechanism within his world wherein no matter What you sell, but as long as it Sells = then it gets to the mainstream. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the reason why people were famous was because of real hard work, which can be a result of perseverance, but also in one way or another satisfying the industry’s basic need to generate money – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see that there was no ‘filtering’ within what’s being sold and broadly promoted in our reality, and that we are in fact the result of being sold virtually Anything for the sake of experiencing a sense of freedom, enjoyment or personality cultivation, when in fact it all being sold just as characters that we  could idolize/ create relationships with others based on such ‘preferences’ which is nothing else but another way of conditioning the masses to become particular characters that in one way or another became less interested in actual matters in the world and would be more and more infatuated with personal cultivation of the senses – hedonism – as well as dreaming of that which is mostly unattainable for the majority of the population, which is dreams of fame and fortune – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had a sense of power, freedom of choice and free will when deciding to be/ become ‘fond of music’ and specific visual arts, not realizing how this was just an inevitable outflow due to my constant participation in pictures as ‘what I like’ and this likeness being linked to a positive energetic experience in my mind, never ever being or becoming aware of myself, the world, the actual problems that we are facing as humanity and that define our entire ability to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed with this believed ‘righteousness’ to have a particular set of preferences that I cultivated throughout my life within things like music or art, wherein the possibilities of what I could were reduced to only ‘artistic’ careers and neglecting any other skill or capability I could have developed based on me deciding to study art based on preference, not skills and not an actual informed decision, but ‘following my dreams.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this entire personality cultivation that I lived in and by throughout my life, I learned to only ‘get along’ with people that would support Me and my ‘fascinations,’ or that would in any way resemble them, which is how I created desires/ wants and needs based on that which was mostly seen as inappropriate or not broadly acceptable in society, becoming the necessary ‘antagonist’ character in my reality in order to fuel further friction and conflict within my world/ reality – which was home, my peers – and taking pride on that just as another character that becomes proud of the extent and amount of knowledge and information that has been carefully tailored as one’s personality, which I became aware of was my ‘driving force’ to continue existing: just evolving my character and personality in order to get the most satisfaction every time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to idolize other human beings based on the characters they represented wherein I would be mesmerized by their words, looks, behavior and accordingly, ‘do my best’ to try and become something similar to that in order to get to equate myself to that single character that I believed was ‘superior’ than myself. Within this never realizing or questioning how this entire culture is based on this personality cultivation as the real cult-formation that we are taught we must follow through within our lives, wherein me choosing a rather ‘antagonistic character’ was nothing special or unique, but only a single way to perpetuate my self-created ideals of specialness and uniqueness.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to brainwash myself to consider that the common sensical aspect of myself that would regard all beings as equal was too ‘naïve’ according to the character I was busy building as myself. Which is part of how in this world system, any being that portrays actual virtues that support Life is reduced to being  ‘uncool’ or ‘unfit’ within society, ending up bullied, destroyed, ostracized or simply relegated to ‘less than zero’ because of not participating in the personality contest that we’ve become as our society – thus in this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could in one way or another be a ‘successful character’ in society while still holding some form of virtue, not realizing that the people that get to such positions of power have obviously been promoted for the sense of liberation through becoming an overtly ‘emotional’ people that represent these ideals that worked as a carrot on a stick for the rest of humanity, wherein we would aspire to somehow ‘equate’ them in one way or another, not realizing that in dong so, we would simply continue consuming what’s being sold as this flag of freedom and expression, never really even questioning why there was this strong desire to ‘free from oppression’ in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself to not see that in this desire to ‘get free’ and ‘be expressive,’ I only consumed characters that became a process of personality-cultivation wherein the focus then was only on me, my wants, needs, desires, experiences and essentially falling into the most basic form of mind control that is broadly promoted: care only about yourself and ‘fuck the rest of the world,’ never realizing that such blatant act of righteousness was only a spiteful mode that perpetuates the characters we’ve become as ‘rebellious acts’ within society without any form of understanding of how this reality thrives on wars and antagonism and even more so, how it is only through each one of us reducing the totality of who we are to mere characters that we can ‘fight’ against each other, and that this is thus the aspect to debunk at all times: how we have diminished ourselves to a set of preferences likes, fascinations as well as dislikes, oppositions, rebellion acts toward ourselves and who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to imprint this strong desire to ‘be free’ through opposition, through shocking others, through ‘breaking the norm’ in whichever way this could be one – and in doing so, being more open to ‘escapism’ as a way to ‘be free an expressive’ which meant either becoming ‘insane’ or a drug addict – both representing the ‘anomalies’ that I sought to become in order to ‘spite the system’ as the basic personalities that I grew up listening to and acquiring basic beliefs upon life from.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take people’s words as ‘truth’ whenever they supported this belief of ‘rising up’ and opposing the system, fooling the system, breaking the laws, rage against the machine and essentially learning how to ‘hate’ through becoming a personality that would seek at the end of the day only to create a constant point of conflict out of everything in this world, focusing on criticizing, judging and opposing everything and everyone to remain only within a secluded state of inconformity, dissatisfaction, isolation and anger within powerlessness to ‘change this world.’ Perfect mind control installed.

 

I realize that the cultivation of these ‘freedom characters’ must be understood as the actual mind-control tool that we install within ourselves from the entry of ‘entertainment’ and ‘preferences’  – such as music in my case for example – wherein all I ended up becoming was this apparent ‘misunderstood person that was ‘unfit’ to society’ without realizing that it was all an entire character that I copied from all the people that I had watched on my TV screen and that I had deliberately become fond of as a representation of that which pointed out ‘freedom’ and survival within the system ( because artists = fame and fortune)  hence believing that I could make it in this world by becoming this antagonistic character while being in the system and feeding off from it, which is what I have discussed in previous posts of theorizing about change and revolution in society, and earning good money out doing so within the intellectual world.

 

I commit myself to debunk any sense of respect that I held toward particular characters in my reality that I kept as ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ because none of them in fact supported a living consideration of human beings as equals, but only stood just as another personality-cultivation that lead nowhere but to where most of them are, which is sunk in drugs, body deterioration, financial problems and some others managing to stay afloat within the same system that enables any form of human degradation to be sold/ packaged and fed to the masses like lollipops.

 

I commit myself to integrate the actual understanding of Freedom as the unconditional support that we can all Agree to give to each other as money to live and within this, for once and for all, stop all cultivation of personalities and instead, educate ourselves to cultivate the actual Life within each other that we have obstructed with all types of media-characters we’ve become, and within this, finally realize to what extent we’ve made of our reality a theatrical show only for the sake of entertaining our mind. Thus within this redeeming ourselves through directing our lives to Support each other as Equals, as physical beings that are able to live, express and ‘be free’ when everyone is equally realized within this basic consideration of who we are as life as physical beings that can enjoy life while simply breathing and establishing relationships of Self Support instead of character-relationships that have lead our world to the current state we’re living in.

 

Time to Open our Eyes and realize that there has been no actual promotion of Self Respect in the mainstream media at all, and that any ‘good intentions’ only paved the way to hell, to protect individual personas that stood as the example of what it is to be a walking paradox when it comes to having brilliant thoughts about the world, humanity, life in general But  still serving one single god: Mind cultivation and Money – but not Life.

This will continue –

Learn how to Live:

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Equal Money System 

 

 

Blogs:

• The CON within CONflict (Part 2): DAY 223

• Day 223: Intelligence and God – ADC – Part 70

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  This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

Interviews:

• Demons in the Afterlife – Part 7

• Can you Ever Trust your Mind? – Reptilians – Part 127

• Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 33

222. Insanity as Libertinage

Are our preferences and personalities a free willed/ free choice act?

What we’re currently witnessing as all things ‘rebellious’ now being absolutely ‘In’ and ‘cool’ is the product of massive brainmediawashing that has lead toward a more ‘open and free’ society, apparently, with lots of free choice and free will and money to spend on buying all of that, of course. This being lead by head-spears of the world system that we’ve come to easily glorify as artists/actors and any other media-person that we’ll end up knowing have severe ‘mental problems’ and take this or that medication.  What I’ll describe here is how something that was part of a ‘greater scheme’ to expand society’s morality to a point of non-morality which meant a similar thing to ‘free market’ speaking in economic terms, came to be part of what I had also adopted as ‘part of my personality’ with preferences/ fascinations or anything else I could entertain myself with, not realizing that what I was witnessing through the screen of my TV was a deliberate act to indoctrinate people to remain as programmable as possible to focus on that which would become the greatest diversion tactic ever promoted in a massive global scale: entertainment industry – and in my case, music and to be specific what became labeled as ‘pop culture’ no matter what music genre you would listen to.

 

The after effects of this open promotion of the ‘push boundaries,’ go ‘insane,’ be wild, be outrageous, just do it characters was both an consequential outflow of the point we’re facing as humanity that have longed for any form of evolution for too long with no result at all – obviously – while portraying that ‘chaos’ within arts and music – but really within everything and everyone, all people that grew up with a sense of this outrageous fame-and-fortune advertised as freedom, becoming the new standard of aspirations for the new generations. But it happens to be that,  taking drugs and a world that was kept ‘secret’ or as a hidden ‘known fact’ went mainstream, which is then not something new but again, I can definitely witness some serious ‘upgrade’ from the type of music videos I watched in the 90’s and all these still underground scenes like raves to what is going on now, wherein you don’t require to hide the fact that you’re on some sort of medication, taking illegal drugs and using them in any regular party, no need to create any rave-like paraphernalia any more.

 

All of this is pointing out toward a massive dumbification and sedation of young generations that are supposed to be the ‘future of our world.’ It is seriously a point to be concerned with, I don’t have TV at the moment because a lightning killed it –lol – but if you have the opportunity to watch MTV just take a look at what kids are watching, because I was one of those kids that age 7 was already watching stuff that defined a Lot of what I became, the decisions I made, what I ‘thought’ myself to be and what I believed were my ‘true desires’ which were not, they were just an outflow of picturing myself as an artist/ rockstar like person or at least a writer that would be part of the entourage, handing out with musicians, which is what I sort of did for a while – and yes if you watch the move ‘almost famous,’ that was kind of part of my dream as well.  Was there any free will or free choice in this? No, I thought I had so by ‘choosing’ to watch this but it’s really not so when I only had a limited amount of channels and a limited desire to go beyond anything that I could fetch on my TV for years. It is irrelevant at this stage to only see the TV as the main problem, really,  one way or another, no matter what I would watch, I would have to face the same point of brainwashing just by being part of this society, since people in our reality seem to be ‘coming out of the screen’ nowadays, and that’s what shocked me the most or at least it became more and more obvious in the past decade.

 

 

 

What do we have then for the topic here? Making suicide, insanity, mental instability and outrageous acts a normal thing for your regular person. Was it really so? I got my perspective on that and as anything in this world, there are juicy interests behind. All in the name of ‘free entertainment that oozed libertinage.’ So this is where we’re headed, but let’s see how I got into this whole thing in quite a well masked way believing that I was somehow ‘being different’ than the rest of the world – lol.

 

In the previous post I walked some early memories related to my first encounter with the concepts pointi7ng out insanity/ craziness – this was from as far as I could remember till age 7. I explained about anger / temper tantrums and how that 1was linked to me being seemingly crazy – which was just a word that I would hear and got used to linking it to this outrageous behavior that I concluded, was mostly a way to instigate conflict and antagonism toward my mother as the representation of the authority in my world. 

 

Now, as a side note: This is an important aspect to consider within anyone reading these series. This is an exploration of how I shaped the meaning of the word crazy/insane based on what I would do/ live out in my life and would end up being called ‘crazy’ for doing that – really, all based on becoming a character that could constantly trigger some reaction within others, mostly, for the sake of my own benefit as in having the power to make others react. Hence it is not the actual full psychological meaning of it that would dimply an actual requirement for a mental treatment of sorts – even if I will explain later on how someone I met became all possible disorders by his own ability to tell stories that he knew the psychiatrist would be willing to play-along with for the sake of psychiatrist selling him drugs, parents being ‘happy’ for having their son ‘on treatment’ and this guy being ‘happy’ for getting the drugs he wanted on a legal manner. That’ll come in posts later on.

 

 

For now I will continue with the following years  which I’ll identify from 7 – 14 and my relationship to craziness – and all I can see is more deliberate acts and attitudes that would instigate any minute reaction from people around me, it became part of the entertainment, yes, but also the introduction to media. With having the platform of ‘me being crazy’/ called crazy according to my parents and already having built this antagonism and deliberate acts of ‘random madness’ you know, the ‘nice crazy’ wherein you just frolic around and do nonsense and I would get called crazy. Obviously this is the ‘nice story’ told by me as the mind that had built this story so nicely to justify my character, hence I am over generalizing on the ‘crazy’ point, but that’s mostly the point within this all, how I built it myself, not really about ‘my  mother’ or father per se.

 

Well, I found a similar expression later on when watching MTV, and watching Kurt Cobain just running around or any other rockstar of that time doing ‘random acts of madness’ – lol.  I mean, it’s hard to not look into how I conditioned myself to be all ‘rebellious’ and breaking the norms if all I would watch were these people on MTV acting all ‘weird,’ with deliriums of grandeur, trashing backstage places, drinking, getting high, going ‘crazy’ on stage and me just wondering Wow how come there’s not people like THEM around me? lol – this was when I was 7 years old and on, obviously feeding that type of behavior at home with my particular  family-situation – which is no different to any other ‘family situation’ I must stay – made me into a ‘rebellious act’ of sorts, justified by my father because he had been a ‘musician’ on his own way – much mellower lol – but still he supported my ambitions to become learn how to play the guitar, and that went on for a while. But the truth is, the most I liked about music was not really playing it, but the whole attitude. And why’s that: freedom and expression – which are the points I linked to Craziness/ insanity, linked to my fascination and almost devotion for music, again linked to that sense of freedom, expression and insanity – lol as I wrote insanity the thought of Gene Simmons came to mind, figure that out. 

 

 

 

As I write all of this it is impossible to not see the face of people like Courtney Love and many other ‘riot girls’ that I grew up watching and that I have for sure written about  Day 24: Supervixen and Day 60: Femme Fatale « but I also obviously had all these males on the screen just going being overtly ‘expressive’ but also being seemingly ‘crazy looking’ or just ‘plain crazy’ See the action would unfold as follows: I would be sitting on the couch watching MTV doing homework or just watching TV and people would walk by the TV room – which almost became my room – and they would take a look at what I was watching and would simply stare at the screen, then look back at me with this face of utter disgust like ‘do you like watching this?’  and so I would nod my head happily because hey, they liked all that ‘mellow’ music, I was into something real ‘badass’ and so it made me special to like crazy people on the TV Screen. They would just make a sign with their finger, making circles around their ear as in saying ‘you are fucking crazy.’ Which would then fuel up my desires to actually Be so, because: hey this is making Me different from THEM, awesome! Let’s keep pushing the envelope. Obviously I didn’t say the last phrase but just to place into context how I would go escalating my fascinations, just because I knew that my sisters would never be able to ‘match’ this, nor was it common for a girl liking this metal and before that grungy music, which also later on became interests that lead me to aspire relationships with older people into this world, which then became a reality, but that’s another story.

 

 

It becomes almost impossible not to point out the person that caused the most shock within me turning into a fascination later on, which was Marilyn Manson and the moment I watched that video Tourniquete in 97, which was about the same time that I got to now of yet another suicide – after I had been aware of Kurt Cobain’s suicide in 94 and it seemed like a ‘common thing’ among artists after I had known of other people committing suicide or ending up dead by overdose – this time it was Michael Hutchence’s death by autoerotic asphyxiation, which obviously to me was like a ‘say whaaaat?’ at that time, I simply did not get it until much later… and then other deaths followed like Lane Staley from Alice in Chains, drug overdose and various other ‘drug stories’ that would go on as if within the art/music scene, being on drugs was the same as ‘going to school’ for a regular person in this world. Well, they all ended up like a hero of sorts, so to me it was like ‘ok people like these people that committed suicide, wtf – but, oh well they were too sad about the world, okay.’ Which is a proof of how I was already beginning to create an ‘appropriate’ link of insanity + drugs = acceptance in society, expression, ultimate stardom and then a rushed death, which as any human being became another ‘fascination’ due to the fear that we actually have toward it.

 

There were other points I later on started becoming aware of like serial killers and demonic possessions on the discovery channel, which also ‘fascinated me’ for the actual level of ‘I can’t believe it’ that they produced within me. Then I became aware of people like Timothy McVeigh – the ‘American Domestic Terrorist’ -  for some reason it stuck within me,  probably because it was my first understanding of what a terrorist attack was. I mean I had heard parents say ‘wars were perpetrated by fucking crazy people’ but till then I didn’t know that people would act alone and deliberately kill or bomb entire buildings and have a name for that: terrorism. Well duh, how come we have become so ‘fascinated’ with serial killers =  they represent a great level of fear for the actions that your neighbor next door could actually be scheming out against you/ the community in their own homes. Lots of fear – perfect mass control. What have we done as society? We’ve turned it into a Fascination and dare I say even a marketing point without even then really looking at what the fuck we are actually worshiping:  Please read the entire series:

Day 64: International Crime Research: Serial Killers, Mass Murderers and Sociopaths Part 1

 

I say marketing because there are these exhibitions of serial killers that get a LOT of visits = lots of cash simply because of telling you all the story of ‘the most famous serial killers,’ without having a clue of how it all actually worked and how it was true that most of the time, the killers would not be aware because it was all a product of Demonic Possessions – all explained by Mykey in the series: Demons in the Afterlife.

 

What’s more interesting within this all is that I had never a real encounter/ contact with an actual crazy person or any form of severely deranged person such as a serial killer or anything like that, nor someone that had actually been declared crazy and locked up in a mental hospital. I only created a ‘fascination’ toward it because of the fear that I initially experienced about it, not being able to ‘understand’ people’s behavior and what could lead them all to take themselves to the verge of self destruction in all possible ways, yet seen as ‘fun’ and acceptable in society. Same with mass murders,  self-condemning themselves to the electric chair and these demon possess people – all of it just brewed into my definition of insanity that became a fascination, a desire to understand it or even live it out to see ‘what it was like’ at last, because… well the aspect of an artist/ musician being considered as ‘eccentric’ and ‘special’ lead me to want to be just like them and not having to ‘behave’ like everyone else in society – or around my world to be precise – and yes, guess what? Any initial desires I had to study or become someone quite active within the world system vanished over time. Why would that be? Was I getting too immersed in the realm of the ‘intangible’ as music, arts and all that nice intellectual atmosphere?  Yes. 

 

 

What can I conclude from this

 

1. Being rebellious, daring, aloof, expressive, transgressive, and essentially high on drugs was what everyone was deeming as ‘cool’ in our society. Fascinating, isn’t it? I grew up with that – what shaped my view of the world/ people – was it really Me? No, of course not. It was MTV mostly at that time in my life, because I had really no ‘friends’ that were into it and my ‘best friends’ at the time were two girls that I am thankful got me into playing games and actually being outside and away from the TV Screen. But whenever I was not with them, I was just imprinting all these characters in an almost obsessive manner, in a non-stop manner. Everything that I had become before beginning this process was just a self-cooked version of all of this information into my own mix of ‘outrageous goodness,’ I was ‘hitting my dreams’ by the time I got to Desteni, it was a ‘tough decision’ to give it all up for a moment, but eventually I knew I had to do it. I would have definitely regretted not doing so out of fear of losing my ‘carefully lengthy built personality,’ because I was quite specific and so I ensured I would take all the bits I liked from people and made them ‘my own,’ acting like them, being like them, deliberately. I thought it was a ‘free willed’ act, lol – not really as we can see, all part of the same drill leading to remain within the frameworks of this current world-system, screaming out fears but never doing anything about it.

 

2. The definition that I held of ‘crazy’ was simply another act linked to ‘freedom’ and any other form of ‘anti-establishment’ that I perceived in all these madness acts by artists, which meant a ‘revolutionary act’ that I later on got to know of had been brewing ever since, according to pop culture, Elvis had rocked his bottom in suggestive ways on TV and had gotten banned for that. I later on grew up watching people throwing themselves over drum sets, drinking, vomiting, being almost naked, taking tampons off on stage and anything else that I could ‘swallow’ within all the pages of magazines wherein I learned what being a ‘rockstar’ meant – lol, I obviously wanted to tag along, which became a fascination out of the sense of freedom these people represented – lot of drug names were given, but I wasn’t really paying attention to that. At that time, it was all about the words, behavior, the image, the style, the music, lyrics, music videos, shocking onstage performances, being absolutely wasted as the ultimate cool, flipping the finger toward the government and organizing ‘freedom concerts.’ This is what was ‘into’ then as well, a delirious sense of ‘freedom’ as an energetic experience that I became hooked on, wanting to enact it all later on in my real life.

Now, you catch the drift?

….. this will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Correction to see how everything that I deemed as ‘my preferences/ my fascinations’ were only a product of another mass-brainwashing campaign that I took part of, seeking to ‘escape the system’ and never even ‘bother’ to do some real changes in this world, and that’s a fact as I lived that out for quite a while, pursuing my ‘lifestyle’ mimicking what I had been ‘educated’ with on TV throughout late childhood and teenage years.

 

My suggestion is to observe your own life in relation to media, see what types of preferences you had, your ‘personal idols,’ what did they represent to you that you were not able to live out yourself, if you were exposed to some role model in your early days, then see where you stand toward that particular person nowadays. I see it is vital to understand that we’ve never really made a single choice by ourselves and that it is thus of utmost importance to debunk our entire ego, as we never know what we might still be ‘holding on to’ which is linked to just another massive mechanism we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be conditioned by without seemingly ‘knowing’ so, but certainly still defining ‘who we are’ as a point of limitation, which is a problem and we’ll walk the solutions in posts to come.

 

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Blogs:

• Day 222: Spiritualist Churches and Talking to the Dead – ADC – Part 69

• This blog is part of the After Death Communication Series

• The CON within CONflict: DAY 222