Category Archives: mind control

421. Art is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

I took this great blog title from Leila Zamora Moreno who gave it as a name for her son’s Cesar first masterpiece which I am going to share here because it’s his first year alive on Earth today!

We got a Pollock coming, people!

Cesar's Masterpiece 1 Year

 

So, I watched a documentary on Marina Abramovic’s work called Marina Abramović: The Artist is Present and noticed how through watching it, I was constantly seeking for some kind of ‘meaningful’ thing to come through, something that could match my idea of ‘art.’ Through writing the self forgiveness I’m about to share, I realize that I had become this constant judge toward anything I’ve defined as ‘art’ and within doing so measuring/gauging it and see if it does match my idea of art as something that can ‘change the world’ and if not, usually I would follow through to judge it as pointless, useless, a waste of time, etc. In fact I had written out a blog about the documentary, but obviously noticed it was filled with righteous comments so as to impose ‘my perspective’ which then of course was a cool thing to do or else I would have remained within the idea/belief that ‘I was right in my assessment’ lol.

I also reacted when seeing people organizing performances and/or artistic creations around an ongoing situation here in Mexico about students having been disappeared/most likely killed due to a political point of convenience for a governor in one state here and then judging this as ‘pointless’ and ‘meaningless’ and then rehashing the judgment of ‘how come I can despise this ‘art world’ so much now and I once was so eager to be a part of it, where was I?’ – so here I go straight to Self Forgiveness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to myself, how was I ever involved in this art/cultural realm and come to despise it so much at the same time? Which is only showing the usual love-hate relationship wherein of course any ‘negative’ experience is in fact denoting I still hold a relationship toward art, and as such, it’s all about ME in fact and not at all about art/artists or the art world at all – this is then the point of self-responsibility to expand upon here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience remorse and embarrassment for having ever aimed at achieving an artistic career as I followed my desire to experience something ‘special’ through art and aim at ‘changing the world’ with it, which simply means that I was entirely driven by my own emotional and feeling experience and that this clouded my ability to see reality for what it is and genuinely question whether a ‘work of art’ has in fact ever changed people’s lives to the extent that I thought it would.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art as something frivolous or useless, wherein by defining it in such way I am then creating a negative relationship to it, but still a relationship nonetheless, so this is about me taking responsibility to ensure I no longer impose any ideas, beliefs, perceptions and reactions toward ‘art’ itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create yet again an experience of disdain toward people that are using art as a way to demonstrate the corruption and deaths of people here in Mexico, wherein now artists are gathering to create portraits of students that have been – most likely – sent to be killed by a high authority in one of the states here in Mexico, and so reacting with the experience of ‘this is utter bullshit’ and so having the desire to just curse at the people that believe that in any way doing a portrait or performance of and for the people that have disappeared will change their family’s grief or would in any way ‘solve the problem.’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ‘disdain’ is simply a tantrum like experience that comes after one had created certain ideals and expectations upon something, which is why one has such a ‘stance’ toward – in this case – art, instead of realizing that ‘art’ in itself in this case is not aiming at creating a tangible, physical solution, but simply a remembrance that some people might find supportive and that’s up to each person and how they react/interact with such artistic expressions – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hypercritical to anything that has to do with art and aiming at bashing it constantly or whenever I can, which only demonstrates my own judgments and ‘false expectations’ created and imposed toward art, wherein I was trying to make of art an actual ‘tool to change the world’ but I realize that ‘art’ in itself as a manifestation and expression cannot do that at all – self change is and will always be here as ourselves, it is about who we are in our mind and in our actions, which in turn will define our creations as well.

 

I realize that in this, of course I’m missing out the actual self-forgiveness that extends beyond ‘myself’ only but as a human being that has lived in a world where pictures, emotions, experiences are the actual ‘drivers’ and/or ‘fuel’ of our reality, wherein the society of spectacle also involves creating this kind of ‘motives’ and ‘remembrances’ using art as a way to ‘heal the wounds’ or else, without realizing that in essence, art only works at a mind level and as such, it creates no solution to real-reality problems and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art for not being what I expected it to be, instead of realizing that it’s only me that tried to make it’ more’ than what it in fact is – in this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly try and fit ‘art’ into the category of a human creation that will in some way ‘change the world’ or ‘change people’s consciousness’ wherein in my desire to ‘fit’ art into this ideal, I’ve actually created such an unnecessary conflict within me, because I see that it is just impossible to do so, because nothing, no object, no image can ‘change you’ but only oneself in actually understanding why changing is necessary and how one can practically do it – in this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so infatuated with the idea of ‘change’ being able to exist within art, which you know in terms of the large scope of what art is, this idea of ‘change’ is already a limitation, a definition that is coming strictly from who I am and what I am walking in my life, which is very much aligned with ‘changing myself ‘ – thus, I have to stop trying to fit the world, fit people’s idea of art into my own.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be gullible and somewhat stubborn in trying to fit ‘my idea’ of art into everyone else’s artistic creation, which then of course leads me to only criticize, judge it, see it as ‘not good enough’ or ‘pointless’ or plain ‘bullshit’ without realizing that I’m judging it from my own point of view that aimed to make of art ‘something life changing and revolutionary.’ Therefore, I realize that I have to STOP trying to impose my own ideas of what art was supposed to be as a catalyst or a way to change people’s minds/lives and instead of trying to measure ‘all art’ against my own idea/belief and perception of what ‘art should be, I have to rather use all judgments as a way to continue checking what exists within me as an expectative or assumption around art, as this is then how I can use art or anything else as a mirror to continue seeing where I am creating experiences and separation from what is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out the love and hate relationship toward art, which only signifies one thing: there are still remnants of self-definition within me according to ‘being an artist’ or wanting to stick to that profession as ‘what I studied’ or ‘who I was,’ because in a way I still wanted to try and ‘save the profession’ as ‘my choice’ and having done so in absolute clarity and conviction within myself; and so this was my attempt of trying to justify my decision thinking that I wasn’t so ‘out there’ or detached from reality when I chose to study this – but, at the moment I can see that I was in fact not really ‘grounded’ on Earth 10 years ago when I made such decision and that somehow I am still beating myself for it, which is not necessary – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having chosen what I now judge as some self-conceited and self-importance and absolutely self-indulgent profession as ‘art’ which in this is in fact only judging and ‘dissing’ that which didn’t ‘turn out to be what I expected’ and so, I realize that I have gone back and forth within this experience in the past of the ‘love and hate relationship toward art,’ but the problem is that I still tried to ‘suit my idea’ of what art should be in everything that I continue to see/watch and consume as ‘art,’ instead of realizing that I have to absolutely let go of the idea that I once held about art, let go unconditionally of my past choices in life, of my past ‘mindset’ and as such, stop any judgments around this point within me.

I commit myself to see art for what it is: a series of visual or experiential-based objects or images or actions wherein one is challenged to see reality with another pair of eyes and get to see reality from each person’s mindframe and perspective – thus to take it ‘for what it is’ as an individual or collective expression, instead of continually trying to see ‘where or how is this in any way changing the world?’ which is My idea of what art should be and the reason why this conflict still would emerge within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘the past me’ as vain and superfluous for having chosen such a career and now in one way or another wanting to throw shit at it, which is not really acceptable at all, because art as any other action and creation that we do in this world, is part of what we also have to take responsibility for. Thus my way to contribute to it, is not to ‘bash’ something because it did not ‘fulfill’ my expectations upon it, but rather take the words that I had once associated with art / being an artist and live them myself in the way that I see is supportive and best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having said this morning ‘where the hell was I when I decided to study art?’ and say so with a sense of regret and disdain toward me and so toward everything and everyone involved in such practice, instead of realizing that if I did this same kind of reproachment for everything else that I see we have done ‘wrong’ in our lives, I would live in constant reproachment which is obviously not necessary at all as in that, we only trap ourselves in guilt and remorse, instead of focusing on what is required to be changed HERE.  

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what’s hiding behind this is me not wanting to admit that it was my own starting point toward art that defined my now judgment toward ‘art’ which is not about ‘art’ but about me and how I was in fact living and acting in a self-absorbed manner and was seeking for the kind of things like fame, fortune, all the money and the ‘good life’ as well as bashing the system while earning good money, lol – so I realize that I have to simply admit to myself the kind of decisions that I made in the past, the reasons behind it and that there is no way that I can ‘turn back time and change my decisions and career choice’ because I do realize that the decisions I made in my past were absolutely ‘congruent’ to my mind-frame, my interests, my aspirations in the past and within this, I have to absolutely let go of me trying to ‘make sense’ of my initial ambitions and desires in life so as to justify them, and try and see them with a ‘good light’ so to speak, which is not really necessary to now super impose some ‘goodness’ to it, because that would simply imply that I am still judging my past life and decisions as something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘self-interested,’ which is not really necessary once that I realize I have simply moved on from that phase in my life and my interests and aim in life have veered substantially from how I used to think 10 years ago, which I am of course grateful to myself for as well and for all the past moments that led to this realization.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my dissatisfaction with my past choices upon every other artwork or artist I see and get to know of by judging their work and activity in all possible ways wherein I diminish it to being ‘pointless’ and ‘useless’ and taking this as a ‘fact,’ without realizing that all of these were only self-judgments that I have created around ‘art’ based on my own judgments toward myself and my past.

Therefore I commit myself to stop wanting to impose my idea of what ‘art should be’ upon others’ creations and simply redefine the word for myself to live as the actual creator of my life within the principles that I have established for myself of self-responsibility, self-introspection, self-forgiveness and self-correction as I see that this is what I have realized is the genuine way to do what I always aimed doing through art, which is changing myself and so with that, changing the world – therefore I hereby let go of the desire to ‘change the world’ through art  or attempt to make of art that ‘one point that changes the world’ which is also not ‘the point’ here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human being desire to do something ‘more than myself’ through objects, experiences, artifacts outside of myself and now judging art for what I believe or assume ‘artists’ are aiming to do, which is another judgment coming from what I used to do with art itself, instead of realizing that art can be used as a bridge for self-investigation, yet it is not ‘the change’ in itself at a massive level that I wished it to be at some point, as I realize that self-change and self-realization cannot in any way be something done through only one action, one object, one image and have an effect ‘en masse’ – there are no magic tricks on this.

 

I commit myself to stop judging art, artists, art collectors, art supporters and everyone that enjoys art and instead see ‘art’ within the realm of any other human activity that we do at the moment which means that everything we are and do is yet to be walked through a process of self-realization and self-correction, which means there cannot be something that is genuinely ‘supportive’ if there is no foundation to understand such support or what would be supportive to ‘change oneself’ or ‘change the world’  - thus I am the one that has to stop seeing art through the eyes of ‘practical change’ and/or ‘practical relevance for self-change’ wherein I then create a righteousness to create ‘negative’ judgments toward it, which is once again falling in the judgmental trap that leads nowhere and in fact then I would support the continuation of separation, reactions, judgments and division in the world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that because I studied art, I have ‘an authority’ to bash it which is really only playing the same critique conundrum that I have also criticized in the past, instead of seeing art or anything else as just expressions that each one of us will have to take self-responsibility for, for the intent, the purpose and the experience within which it was created – thus, I am no one to judge anyone or anything for what it is, I can only reflect myself upon the world and thus take responsibility for my judgments, my experiences, my expressions ‘toward others’ and always realize it has nothing to do with art per se, with artists or with the artworks themselves, but with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have wanted to control ‘my vision’ about art and so be able to ‘measure all other art’ according to what I had defined as ‘art,’ not realizing that this definition of ‘art’ is not even certain for people in art creation themselves. So, this is once again a point to show how when trying to ‘fit in’ one’s definition upon something/someone, because  each definition is created in one’s mind, it will always be a source of conflict to try and define something that in its nature is not meant to even be ‘defined’ as such, thus I see that my point of control was coming also from self-interest and still wanting to somehow remain with the dignity of having studied something ‘meaningful’ or ‘more than’ any other career, which would then lead me to play a value game that is once again of the mind and of consciousness definitions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still go and see art in the hope that I will find something that is ‘life changing’ which is why every time I obviously come out without ‘anything’ or ‘nothing learned’ because I am seeing it all through the eyes of ‘come on, art exhibit, change me, change my life!’ which is impossible of course, it would be like thinking that praying to the image of a god or a saint will change your life, which is simply a delusion.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having ever been fascinated with creations because I have now judged this as ‘vain’ instead of realizing that just as anything that we create in this world, we can appreciate it for what it is in its physicality and no longer having the ‘artistic value-frame’ with which I was trying to measure it against, as this is once again trying to control and impose my own perspectives and experiences toward ‘art’ itself upon others’ creations. It would be like trying to define which human being is more ‘beautiful’ than another or which tree is ‘more expressive’ than another – it is really pointless and a waste of breaths to be dwelling upon this kind of questions, because ultimately if there’s something in art is that precisely this whole ‘valuation’ scheme is meant to be broken or questioned at least.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged this point as ‘petty’ or ‘non important’ or there being more ‘relevant things to blog about’ but, I realize that due to the actual judgmental view that emerged within me while watching Marina Abramović’s documentary and when getting to know of artists gathering to create something around people that have disappeared through political reasons, it was then a point to of course review and open up within myself so that I can align this one point within me and my day to day living and so stop the judgmental me toward art or artists as a constant source of conflict.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have some ‘right’ to judge something because of having ‘studied’ it, which is essentially a belief learned from how our system operates with licenses and such, without realizing that a judgment will always be a judgment specifically when it’s made in an attempt to debase or ‘debunk’ something as to ‘make it less’ in a way, wherein then my judgment becomes in my mind something ‘superior’ to point out.

 

In this the application is actually to ensure that I can investigate all things and keep what’s best, instead of investigating all things, judge and criticize with an attempt to ‘debase’ something and then place my judgment as ‘superior’ which is obviously a destructive and consequential way of looking at things.

I realize that I can use anything and anyone in my world as a mirror, and in this, whichever I may think, believe and perceive relates to ‘another’ is in fact about myself, because I can only think/judge something about someone  if I have judged myself in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was in fact desiring to ‘take a position’ or ‘take a side’ in relation to art because of the self-definition I have created within and towards ‘art’ which is how one then creates a sense of ‘righteousness’ as in having ‘one stance’ in relation to it, which is all knowledge and information based, it is not at all considering what is common sensical or looking at what’s supportive within something – but instead, immediately putting on the ‘judgmental glasses’ and ‘finding fault’ eyes going into ‘attack’ mode to point out all the ‘flaws’ but all of these flaws are pointed out within the starting point of me already seeking to ‘debunk’ another, which is quite the usual nasty game that we play when we want to impose our own mind/righteousness, what we believe is ‘right’ above others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question the ‘impulse’ that I sometimes have in relation to wanting to talk about something/someone in an attempt to ‘debunk’ them while still holding a judgment with experience in it as to ‘prove it wrong’ – instead of realizing that I can talk about something/someone without having to resort to taking an antagonist stance toward it, but simply be able to reference it, to look at it in common sense and then  focus on reflecting any judgment back to myself, that’s the only way one can really develop self-honesty, and stop only criticizing things for the sake of feeling ‘righteous’ about something or someone and so justify my experience toward something or someone, in this case, my ‘experience’ toward art which shouldn’t exist at all as an experience.

In this it is to realize that any experience that I have toward something/someone, it indicates I have created a relationship to it, and so it becomes a point for me to take self-responsibility for which means: it’s never about ‘art’ itself, it’s about how I see it, who I am toward it and this is then a much more supportive starting point to look at art and visit art galleries, to see ‘what comes up within me,’ instead of visiting and looking at art from the starting point of ‘proving it wrong’ or wanting it to ‘match my ideal’ of art, which is why all this back and forth friction toward it emerged: it’s all an inside job.

 

I realize that ourselves as human beings tend to seek for answers or ‘find ourselves’ ‘out there’ instead of realizing that everything we require is already here, as ourselves. So in this, I commit myself to stop judging anything that we do/use in order to get to this point of self-realization, wherein I see that art can be used as a tool of self-reflection as with anything else in the world and what we create and do within it. This is where I then have to realize that my process and realizations cannot be the same as others’ and so, I have no authority to judge others’ processes, ideas, beliefs and perceptions – this process is about self-responsibility so here I then commit myself to always see art as a cool point of self-reflection wherein I stop all judgments ‘toward’ art or artists themselves, but rather see ‘who am I’ toward it and use that for my own process of self-honesty.

 

I commit myself to integrate the realization that everything that I judge or criticize in a judgmental manner is and only has to do with myself and the relationships I have created toward something/someone in my past, and so I can only look at things/people objectively where I can first identify if there is any reaction, take it back to self wherein I see the origin of such judgment toward it, do a self-reflective analysis on it in order to support me in common sense to immediately realize: I am imposing my past definitions upon this moment here –  and so I then focus on seeing, watching, reading and participating in anything related to art for what it is – no hidden agendas allowed within me.

 

For a review on the documentary:

 

What life can be

 

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


420. From Disposable Life to Purposeful Living

 

I watched the other day a speech by Henry Giroux for ‘Disposable Life’ series wherein various philosophers and writers share their perspectives on this topic. It is cool to be able to hear a list of all the bits of points that surround us on a day to day basis as all the problems that we are continually co-creating in what he calls the ‘undoing’ of society, though I would say that we have in fact never lived such genuine meaning of ‘society’ itself, we do live together but we haven’t genuinely agreed to have a particular purpose in our lives other than fulfilling our happiness according to what we adopt and come to live out as our most popular we tend to focus on, which usually are the little aspects that make ‘our lives happy’ which are mostly linked to self-interested and fear-denial type of activities wherein we can get a sudden rush of joy to the head, only to then go all the way down ‘below cero’ into depression, stress, anxiety and a general sense of hopelessness to live. I can attest to this since I used to live like that and I would mostly spend my time formulating speeches in my head wherein I could bash humanity for the ‘stupidity’ we are, for all the greed, violence, torture, war, inability to think properly, for our passivity, for the pleasure in a spectacle of violence, for the desire to have the most ‘over the top’ lifestyle, for the sexualization and dehumanization of children, for our morbid fascinations and so on, but the reality is that over the years I realized how tiring it is to actually hear more and more complains or theories about how all went down the drain the moment we started to privatize and capitalize on what some have the privilege to own, and how we have grown to be comfortable in the arms of our captors and how we actually like to abuse ourselves…

I realized that it is really a disservice that’s being done by all of the people that have the attention and power to address the masses to only let us know what we already know in one way or another, because we are doing it already, yet provide no feasible or practical and applicable solutions; so, because complaining about ‘people not providing solutions’ would make me of course part of that choir, I have begun dedicating myself to share on a daily basis for now while I can, what I investigate throughout 24 hours, what I get to see and notice from other people’s arguments about the situation we’re facing in the world. I’ve found many are now suddenly starting to see the importance of changing ourselves first, it’s usually pronounced as the need for a change in consciousness instead of only participating in public demonstrations that as Giroux states, have become spectacles that are then stored as another memory in people’s minds = becomes irrelevant = is not sufficient.

A change in this world is definitely more than throwing tomatoes at a parliament building, or acting out ‘civil disobedience’ which has become a predictable and ‘part of the system’ type of expected tantrums from people that complain about things that directly affect the status quo of their lives. Protests have become the normalized ‘disobedience’ and that implies of course no genuine change can come from trying to fix what is broken from the get go.  This spectacle only leads to more outrage which fuels war against those that we perceive as culprits. We have to actually take our power back, but how can we ‘take our power back’ if we haven’t even realized what we are actually capable/able to be and become?

 

Pejac

Human Nature by Pejac

 

This is why it is so vital to actually focus on developing or ‘uncovering’ our real potential as individuals. I’ve seen for myself how I would have never placed myself in a position I am at the moment if I had followed through with my high & lows type of ‘gloomy’ type of mind-experience that I used to impose upon myself and project it toward ‘life on Earth’ – it’s actually quite selfish to do this, I see. It’s been fascinating to see myself back a couple of years ago wherein I would still see ‘no way out’ and every now and then cave into the realm of being in a tunnel vision wherein all that I could see was more destruction, more abuse and no way out.  Well, you see if we individually remain in such a constricted mindframe, for sure it will be simply impossible for us to even consider a ‘way out’ – why? Simple: because we see the world according to that same filter we have built as how we think, what we believe and perceive ‘the world’ and ourselves to be. So, if in my mind I am only focusing on identifying all the problems, add my own emotional input to those and then become that experience as ‘the way the world is,’ of course it will be a tad difficult to be able to see any ‘way out’ if all we see is the same filter filled with one’s emotions, limitations, continuous self- debasement and helplessness. What we haven’t realized is that this is the ‘perfect’ mindset to keep the world as is, because we do not even bother to ‘try and change it’ and I cannot sufficiently emphasize the importance of actually taking self-responsibility for that general sense of being ‘the lost generation’ where all we see is a doomed and troublesome future.

Sure with this I’m not trying to happy-paint the world here, because that would be delusional and jumping to the opposite side of the fence attempting to say ‘positive things.’ I have also realized within me that I had to actually let go and detach myself from the comfort of my own gloom and doom, because it was actually quite addictive to simply resort to the same mindframe where I wouldn’t even try or commit to any change, because all that I would think is ‘What for? Nothing will change, everything is fucked, what’s the point anyways? No one is doing it, so why should I? And as I write this, it seems ages since I would think like this, however it is not that long ago – therefore  I see the importance of sharing this realization: life in fact is not ‘fucked’ per se, we are the ones that have messed with it and so I can say that I’ve been there, done that and have actually been able to stop that inner experience and instead actually dedicate myself to ‘change’ me, which is not an attempt to become a better person either, it is simply being able to remove all the flawed starting points I had created upon my day to day living, and so rather integrate new ones that do not require me to ‘feel’ a certain way to move day by day.

 

One of the most interesting developments I’ve noticed within me is that I actually have become what I used to judge before as ‘naïve’ for example, when a person would share how they have stopped any form of self-abuse and gotten themselves ‘back on track’ I would see them as ‘phony’ because I could not perceive or believe that a person could be ‘happy’ in this world. However I’ve also realized that this is not about ‘being happy,’ as that would also be also a ‘state of mind.’ This is about recognizing and realizing how much we have underestimated ourselves, how much attention we have given to our own judgments, our own emotions such as how ‘I feel’ based on energetic experiences, how we fuel our own continuous inner-conflicts in the mind instead of waking up with a sense of what am I going to do today to continue constructing my own life in a way that I see is supportive for myself and others as well?

There is no feeling necessary from the moment we wake up, there is no need to ‘feel’ in order to live, and I know this is kind of like a mind-bending statement since we have defined our ‘existence as human beings’ according to ‘how we feel’ about things, according to our emotions and feelings – but! I am proof here that I have realized it is absolutely a waste of being, breath and life to continue tampering our potential and debasing our every moment with every single thought that goes through our minds, and experiences we become in our bodies with which we react to by hooking ourselves emotionally to them and believing that such ‘inner experience’ is in fact an expression of us ‘being alive.’ Nope, that’s just acting by preprogrammed design of the mind, and that means it is the expected trap we continue falling into the moment that we believe that all those flaws and lacks, limitations and fears is in fact ‘who we are’ when it is not, at all.

Even though it may seem so simple to say ‘great! I’m not going to focus on the problems and focus on the solutions now!’ it is a rather detailed and meticulous process of investigating to what extent every moment that we ‘live’ is defined by our behavioral patterns of the mind based on thoughts, feelings, emotions as beliefs, ideas, perceptions, judgments, fears etc. A change in consciousness is necessary for change, correct – however the point is not to ‘change consciousness’ but to understand who we are and have become as ‘consciousness’ to then be able to understand that the problem is when we try and use the same flawed tool of perception to ‘fix things’ when it is definitely not about ‘fixing ourselves’ but rather realizing we don’t have to use the same old tools, the same old ‘way of looking at things,’ the same old starting point to create genuine change within and without of ourselves

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

 

Genuine self-change is thus the ability to first understand who we are as the mind and with that, discover the real power we have suppressed within ourselves from the moment that we accept the belief and idea of something or someone being ‘more’ than ourselves, being ‘above’ us or in charge of our lives. We have actually become comfortably numbed by this idea of someone or something else taking care of us, and that’s what is the greatest problem we’re facing: we’re apathetic because we believe we have ‘no say’ in how things operate – but that has to absolutely be exposed for the form of mind control it in fact is: we are not governing ourselves, we are not directing ourselves in our own bodies and mind, we have not even learned how to properly live our lives and care for our own bodies – this is about realizing and seeing for the first time how it is that everything we have thought ourselves to be is in fact a manufactured lie that follows the same patterns and systems we have co-created in reality to keep all the bunch of lies in place.

 

If we are all tired of lies, deception, corruption, fear mongering, violence, wars, protests, abuse and inequality in this world: then we have to actually become the solution to all of these things beginning with ourselves, we have to be the example of what it means to live as an honorable, trustworthy, reliable, self-supportive, cooperative and self-responsible individual that ensures that one’s genuine ‘self-interest’ is redefined as the consideration of what is best for all, as that also includes oneself in it. 

Once again, saying it or writing it out is easier than actually living it. It is a hard working process, for sure, no one said it was going to be something that ‘magically appears’ out of nowhere, becomes our new principle and we’re suddenly all changed. Just consider that every single habit we live by every single day is precisely the accumulation of all days of our lives that we have lived and applied such behavioral and emotional patterns. Therefore, it will take quite a self-willed resolution to change, it takes one’s volition as the understanding of why we decide to stop certain thoughts, fears, self-limitations, self-abusive and destructive habits in order to continually remind ourselves that this is a constant application of changing ourselves in every single moment that we are alive, until we no longer have to ‘remind us,’ because we would have simply gotten to integrate these new living principles within ourselves.

This is the foundation of a genuine democracy, and this is a word to simply be realized as the power of the people, the power that we actually have if we first recognize and develop ourselves to live to our utmost potential. Once again, sounds ‘great!’ but it does require an actual letting go of all the comfortable excuses, justifications and fears we use to not give that actual step outside of such self-abusive comfort zone. It takes guts, yes, it takes courage to live in self-honesty, yes – though this is what is required of us if we do want to genuinely step in and change the way the world is operating right now.

 

If there’s something I can see I am developing through focusing on my own change and in investigating solutions, co-working and talking with people that are also focusing on solutions, is that this is the new ‘flame’ so to speak, the genuine passion to live that I never thought I could encounter within me, and I am thus grateful to be able to share it as a way to ‘pass the torch’ and get a genuine sense of ‘illumination’ to first realize that in order to ‘change the world,’ we first have to get outside of our own little thought-box, our own bubble, to see beyond our tunnel vision, to stop all the excuses to not do this such as blame and self-hatred and get rid of our constant desire to complain about things – it’s time we actually grow up as human beings – teenage years are over – it’s time to mature and actually get to see the great potential we have if we all stop living as victimized ‘emos’ and start developing real skills that are useful to create a world that is best for all.

 

More and more people are ‘waking up,’ but there’s always the same loop of not knowing ‘how to follow through’ with such decision to be part of the solutions to this world. Therefore, I can share  all the entries on this blog as a process that any individual can walk for themselves to start dissecting each mind particle we have become, be able to self-forgive to recognize our responsibility to what we had become and so, plant new seeds of living principles that we are willing to water each and every single day to genuinely grow and get to be benefited by the fruit of our labor so to speak, which is the work that we do on ourselves just as we all work day to day to make our world and lives function. This is the new meaning of life, not a disposable life, but a purposeful life that exists as a potential in each one of us, so let’s live our lives, day to day with the realization that it is now or never that we begin prioritizing what really matters to be done in this world.

See you around if you are ready for this.

 

life-isn-t-life-without-honor

 

Suggested read:

Day 606: Self Discipline & Resistance

Day 603: We’re All in This Together

Day 176: Annoyed With Whiners

Day 626: Fake it Till You Become it

Day 273: CEOs are easy to blame – but how are we the same as them?

 

Read from people around the world developing their purpose in Life  in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 


418. Deschooling Ourselves: Why and How to Do it?

 

unlearn rethink

After watching Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves workshop video, I realized how important it is to be aware of how much of ‘who we become’ as a person in our society and in relation to others is shaped in and by the schooling system. To this, it would also be unfair to only look at school as the only one problem there is in our society, because schools were created by us human beings in the first place so there’s a human mind behind it all; albeit for all practical purposes, the idea of ‘education’ and the blind trust that parents confer to the schooling system makes of the schooling system set up the most easy way to actually justify integrating values, beliefs, behaviors, ways of thinking reality, ways of relating to others, ways of survival among one another where we are geared to continually having to prove ourselves to be ‘the best’ or ‘the worst’ in a system of standardized marks.

School is also the place where we come to first get in contact with people of different backgrounds, where our initial social clash begins which leads us to start inherently doing a process of preference over principle, which is how we come to build our very first friendships and relationships, where we as children do not  have a full awareness of us in fact being in a closed-system where one gets to be friends with people that could or could not afford some private/public school, and so already from there, we start classifying ourselves based on our socioeconomic background.

I have to say it is also unfortunately the place where parents place their most trust on within the systemically integrated belief that ‘whatever happens in school is just fine’ and that teachers and the government system behind it as education system ‘knows best’ – while parents mostly see this as some free time from their parental duty – or are deliberately also kept busier with long hours of work which is leading to unattended children growing up in front of TV’s, computers plugged into the myriad of boundless information on the internet and learning tricks about drugs and developing sexual deviances as a way to escape the inherent anguish of living in a world where parents must work 24/7 to get money to live, and where you as a child/youngster will invariably have to end up doing the same… I mean, who would not react to that expectative of one’s ‘future’ in this broken world? Yet we dismiss it and actually have come to blame schools, blame media, blame the government, blame parents and so as you can see blaming each other for the problems we have co-created in our society of which school is one great and pivotal pillar of.

 

robots

 

There’s a complete structural problem in our society and a large part of it has to do with how we haven’t questioned our sacred institutions like schools and the way they exist nowadays, which from my perspective are more like prisons or reformatory cells, they have always been the brewing ground for behavioral conditioning, human experimentation and indoctrination which goes unnoticed within the idea that there’s always an authority that somehow has a ‘greater understanding,’ because we place our trust on systems of validation, certification and quality-proof standards placed by some organization we’ve defined as government, which are a few individuals that have unfortunately proven to be easily bribed to rather arrange laws and regulations in a way where other individuals can be benefitted from it all – either for profit, for further population control or both. All of this apparatus of authority is currently quite skewed of course and it is rather alarming since school is the spot where kids are mandated to go to every single day – yet, even if kids do not go to a school per se, the same principles of it are still embedded in the way that we organize ourselves, in the way that we related with one another, in the way that we value ourselves, in the way that we choose what we want to do with our lives, in the way that we behave with our families and friends. The sheer idea of ‘education’ as it exists now is only a reinforce and catalyzer of essential mind and behavioral patterns that have existed within us as human beings since the beginning of our species, as they are all existent in the very core programming and functioning of our minds. So, what have we done then? We have only perfected the mechanism to make it a continuous mandatory process for kids to get to like/dislike certain things and make decisions based on, well, mostly fear of survival so that we can keep the same slave system mechanism running. But is it really the system that is the enslaving one? Or is it that we haven’t really realized where the real policeman ‘in the head’ resides in? Hint, the answer is already given in that question.

 

In Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves, a group of people walk through and expose all the behaviors, personalities, quirks and fears that they have become throughout their schooling years, wherein either one would stick to the rules and follow or dissent and rebel in whichever way possible, one would start valuing oneself according to the kind of work you deliver to the teacher, another would seek to prove the teacher wrong, another would seek be approved by them, another just wanted to break free and rebel against all rules… this also included some other more personal aspects like  because in school we also have mostly faced some of our most embarrassing or stressing moments.

I’ve shared before about crying over getting lost during math calculation exercise and not being able to keep track of it, getting so anxious that I burst into tears. From my experience, I’ve shared before about the usual pressure one would get when being ‘on the top’ and so having some classmates trying to ‘take me down/take ‘my place’ and directly letting me know how they would win over me and how they would see me fall and be glad for it, etc. All kinds of bullying also comes when being the one that sticks to all rules and does things ‘to the T,’ which to me for example later on became a way to simply dislike being used as an example for the class, which led me to then want to hide while  still wanting to keep my sense of public recognition. This influenced the way I shaped my main personalities: I started to desire being ‘cool’ for any other reason other than getting straight A’s …  and kind of a ‘rebel’ by liking non-popular things so that I could make it clear that I wasn’t ‘the teacher’s pet’ either for example.

All of these patterns are part of a lengthy self-investigative process that is contained in the pages of this blog as I’ve seen that most of the times when investigating any mind pattern, word or behavior, it invariably goes back to one of those ‘memories of schooling days’ and how some of the most ingrained fight or flight patterns, behaviors, attitudes, self-definitions like qualities and virtues, likes and dislikes as well as career choice a.k.a. who I wanted to be and become as a person, were shaped based on the same education system. To me it also involved a process of sharing a room with either 6 other kids in my first school and then moving onto being with over 35 in the following schools and universities, which is already quite a challenge when it comes to seeing how it is virtually impossible for teachers to be truly aware of students in large classes.

School becomes ‘the place’ where we are supposed to ‘find our ground in life’ and so, it’s quite obvious that we only become copies of the copies of stereotypes that we also acquire from the usual imprinting of professions we are supposed to go veering toward from an early age as part of the social-structure – however along with that, we got movies, TV shows imprinting a whole different set of values with which we believe we are in fact ‘making a free choice’ to do what we want, but we have never even questioned whether what ‘we want’ is in fact something we truly developed for ourselves or something we learned from school or saw on TV or internet.

In essence, we have never really been genuinely ‘ourselves’ as all we have become is copy of the copy of the coping and survival mechanisms we’ve shaped as personalities or professions, and that’s what I mostly have realized also when it comes to investigating myself and my ‘core personalities’ and how everything that I developed as ‘my personality’ was a collection of bits and pieces of popular counter-culture aspects along with a decision to antagonize the system no matter what, while remaining ‘safely’ in it at the same time since I would still like to be the obedient straight A person in school, lol, even if I tried to ‘rebel’ at the end… it just would not work as I couldn’t simply fathom myself being irresponsible at school which involved a sense of responsibility of ‘school being the one thing that I had to do as my main activity’ throughout the years.

What is behind that, for example? Fear of being punished, fear of being left behind, fear of losing my self-value and definition? Fear of losing my ‘throne’ as the first one in the class? Well, these points are definitely something that come to define ‘who one is’ based on a particular setting like school, where we actually acquire this way of thinking based on achievements, values, marks, behaviors and responsibilities that lie not within a common sensical practical outcome, but according to doing things the way they are asked to be done and according to a ranking system that is in no way based on the particular skills and abilities that are unique to each child, that is simply not part of our school system.

At the end of that Deschooling workshop by Eisenstein, the ultimate question remains: how to Deschool ourselves? And I simply realized that actually walking this process of self-investigation, of writing oneself to freedom, of developing self-honesty wherein we investigate our core patterns within ourselves is the best way to deschool ourselves, because in investigating our behaviors, our personalities, our fears, our manias, our weaknesses and strengths, our relationships, our friendships, our first traumas, our first embarrassments, our bullying experiences, our relationship to authority, our ability to learn, our qualities and deficiencies, comparison and judgment toward others, our discriminatory or empathic behaviors, our friendships, our enemies… all of these aspects that one actually gets to first live in school – most of the times – are part of what one can write out for oneself, investigating each pattern within the awareness of writing the experience out to identify how is it that one has limited oneself in such pattern.

So for example, if I had continued to only value myself according to what marks I would get in school, and feel ‘bad’ for getting a lower mark, then I would have continued to seek to get some ‘straight A’s’ or the equivalent way to get such ‘superiority validation’ somewhere else in my world, just because of not wanting to get to the opposite side of that and so lose my self-validation/recognition. So I had to work with understanding ‘who am I as recognition’ and the desire thereof, where am I not valuing myself, how have I accepted and allowed myself to only value myself according to achievements at school? Or how have I believed myself to only be a brain that thinks well? Where am I not actually seeing myself beyond this limited valuing perspective and really seeing through a broader potential that I had probably and most likely would not have developed if I had continued to only stick to my personality and personal desires.

So, deschooling ourselves involves a practical and continuous application of walking a process to self-forgive and let go of all the plethora of perceived flaws, definitions, beliefs, limitations, fears and rather work with developing real self-value, real self-acceptance and skills to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. In this, for example, I had to stop the desire to be recognized by others, while at the same time also walking the opposite polarity – because, as one walks one pattern you also get to understand how the mind works in polarities. And so I realized that along with my desire to be recognized, I also got to fear being recognized and so actually sought to ‘hide’ or become a rather ‘low-key’ individual while still holding on this ‘recognition’ point in place, so essentially I would create my own inner conflict which I even externalized in the way that I would dress in a rather extravagant manner while  at the same time using my body’s posture to indicate that I didn’t want to be seen, so I would hunch while walking because I believed that standing straight was ‘showing off’ and only able to be done by good looking girls for example, lol, yes all of this is a fine example of how we pollute our minds in fact.

So, this is just a tip of the iceberg example that one is actually able to investigate for oneself when looking at all the patterns we’ve become in our lives, not only from school but acquired from parents, from people we watch on TV, from the books we read, from the people we admire, from our friends and people around us, etc. As I’ve mentioned, we’ve become the copies of the copies and so the schooling system, the social system has become nothing but a reflection of these categories and identities existent and developed in our minds wherein we get lost in comparison, judgment and the idea of value in relation to ‘who we are’ within the system, all of which actually enables us to coexist within our current dog-eat-dog mentality, where all that matters is achieving personal glory regardless of who or what is abused and affected by it, or ‘collaterally damaged.’

 

I am a product of this society and I’ve had to walk this rather astounding process of deschooling myself,  of deprogramming myself in my mind while at the same time walking a process of self-creation, which is a continued process of self-investigation of every single moment, every single day wherein one continues to assert oneself as the new integration of common sense, of living principles, of a sense of commonality, of a consideration of what’s best for all, of not following an experience as to ‘how I feel’ or how I believe ‘I should feel/be like/act like/talk like’ to dictate who I am in the moment,  wherein it is a continuous process of letting go of any constrains and limitations that I have previously identified through writing, and have released through the process of self-forgiving behaviors, emotions, feelings, thinking patterns, ideas about myself so that I could then practically and actively work on stopping myself from running-through the same old programmed ‘me.’

Now I place my focus on attention on this self-creation process which is truly a first-timer for us all to be able to walk and do, because it is now that we are for the first time becoming more and more aware of things that were deeply rooted in the unconscious before. Now we are able to slowly but surely as humanity able to spot these patterns and behaviors with greater ease, and I have to say that this then a great opportunity and it does rejoice me to see more and more people starting to question themselves, and the overall world-system, which indicates there’s in fact a great opportunity existent here to change the direction of our lives if more and more people start waking up and smelling reality for what it is so that we can work together to correct and align it.

I must also say that when I speak of this process, it isn’t something I do ‘by myself’ nope, it would have been mostly more difficult I’d say – I walk with a group of people networked through the internet – around the globe – with whom we’ve shared our lives,  our writings for over 7 years now, keeping in constant processes of developing and strengthening our communication and feedback processes to ensure that we don’t get lost in this re-educational process we’re walking, which has to do little to nothing to any regular ‘schooling system,’ but we are all more than certain that more individuals must recognize the vital importance of implementing this self-investigation process as part of our schooling system, learning how to work with our minds as our thoughts, feelings, emotions, to learn how to effectively write them out and communicate about them while integrating a sense of self-support through developing common sense: the consideration of what is best for all. 

It is about time we realize that it makes complete sense to actually focus on empowering each other to learn how to best coexist as human beings rather than focusing on being liked by the teacher, or beating our classmates, or planning ways to get into a group of friends to ‘fit in,’ or planning our greatest success where we disregard another’s life of lack of opportunities and suffering that is and has become our collateral damage in this zero sum reality.

It is thus in our greatest and most common interest that we could all walk this self-education process of self-honesty which is a process of self-creation according to living principles to get to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, and so make it part of our educational programs in whichever way they take shape in the (near) future once that we more and more realize how detrimental and even harmful our current standardized type of educational systems are which actually stems from the skewed and misconstrued value systems in our minds.  

So, the best way to deschool ourselves, which is the same as saying the best way to change ourselves is definitely walking the Desteni I Process. There’s no greater set of tools in this world, nor greater group of people that commit themselves to support one another throughout this Journey to Life, to live in dignity and equality. And I can only encourage everyone to try it out for yourself, because if I had aimed at simply wanting to ‘change’ but not really investigating my mind and living patterns to the utmost degree, to really learn how to sweep behind the rug of my memories, my past, my experiences, to understand who am I within my mind and how to practically apply and establish solutions in my day to day living, I would have been equally lost in a constant yearning ‘for change’ but not really knowing how or where to start.

This isn’t an easy thing to do either, it’s probably the greatest commitment we’ll ever make in our lives, which is our commitment to actually learn how to live in the benefit of ourselves and all life considered. However, it will for sure be the most rewarding and long lasting for future generations as well.  

 

Recommend to Read:

Teacher’s Journey To Life

 

Remove the cords - self change -deschooling - desteni

Artwork by Damián Ledesma 

 

 

Recommended to watch:

Hear the Podcasts:

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


417. How to Become Your Own Role Model

There was a blog entry I made some time ago about the documentary ‘Come and Worry With Us’

397. Come and Stop Worrying about Money & Children with us

about one of my favorite bands and generally discussing the problems that come when lacking sufficient money while still wanting to keep producing art, in this case performing and so generally seeing a more realistic approach to the lives of the people ‘on the spotlight’ so to speak, however I realize there is another dimension there to look at and that is part of my lack of objectivity when viewing this documentary, because I had a particular kinship toward the band itself and the people in it, specifically the leader of the band who happens to be part of another band that has been well known for remaining ‘out of the system,’ giving few interviews over the years, rejecting prizes from mainstream music industry, having no lyrics on their songs yet using their titles and general sounds used in the music as a constant reminder of the turbulent times we live in – such as wars, economic depression, general emotional depression, worrying about the future etc.

So, within investigating this, I realized that the people I had ‘admired’ throughout my life were mostly artists that have been able to ‘make it’ into the system without ‘selling out’ or what I then judged as ‘making lots of money into the system while escaping from complying to “the establishment.” That was my type of ‘ideal’ in life, to be ‘out of the system’ – I once thought that was possible, lol – and still make good money and speak on the frontline of ‘the oppressed’ so to speak. I’ve debunked in the past this character but there’s a dimension that I had missed looking at in terms of how I had admired individuals that I perceived as a form of ‘warriors’ themselves, to ‘stick to their guns’ so to speak, to stick to their beliefs and what they stand for which I see that this particular individual mostly does.

 

Efrim Menuck

 

In the documentary ‘Come and Worry with Us’ Efrim Menuck actually refuses to place higher prices to concert tickets in order for them to make more money  - and so have more economic solvency – because he wants to keep to the point of having ‘fair ticket prices’ for the public. This is something that I would have praised and seen as remarkable – but, is it really Self-Honest to actually go through hardship just to stick to one belief? Or is it really compromising the wellbeing of his own son/family/band for the sake of keeping his stance of anti-capitalism? Is it really common sensical to have a constant war toward money itself and wage a ‘fight against capitalism’ while refusing to do any other work and so placing your own financial security at risk, just because of not wanting to ‘sell out’ or ‘kiss corporate ass’ so to speak? My ideal was to be able to also ‘stick to my guns’ and rebel to the system in one way or another, but back then I had no idea of how even money was created or whether there was a genuine possibility to be ‘outside of the system’ – which I now understand of course cannot be a possibility even if I lived in Papua New Guinea.

 

So, in this, I realize that any trace of creating a preference for a particular individual based on the ‘ideals’ they stand for and those ideals being essentially based on antagonism toward the ‘establishment’ is still idolizing part of the problem in this world, because their ‘qualities’ are based on opposing something, on waging war against a certain faction and that’s essentially re-creating the idea of ‘resistance’ toward something or someone, instead of actually focusing on understanding the problem and so developing solutions.  Efrim himself has said how musicians are cowards because they can sing about the problems but most are not directly involved in creating solutions – and most of the solutions that come from people that follow this kind of ideals are based on further revolts and protesting, which is no actual solution in fact.

 

art workers won't kiss ass

 

 

Today I was pondering why so many artists can see the problems in society , but all that they have managed to do is expose it in pictures, in complicated objects and abstractions that would take more than one ‘quick view’ from a person to understand the actual message most of the times. I have then seen that as much as art has had this role of pointing out what is wrong with society and mirror it back, it lacks any substantial process of creating solutions. Some have gotten more involved into what would seem as social or anthropological work, getting involved with ‘the art piece’ that is part of a particular community/in situ, however those are still packets of solutions here and there, while the more general type of solutions will always come from the greater realms that still direct our society, which is politics, economics, education systems, media, etc. And art is still from my perspective a niche part of society that creates meta-languages that only a few can understand.

 

I simply realized that in order to ‘create change in the world’ as I have aspired to do, it takes more than just presenting images, sculptures, videos to people. Sure, it is a stepping stone, a bridge – but ultimately it is one’s own process of self-change that really enables one to understand also the magnitude of the problem and so also the best ways to go directing ourselves to support this change as well.

It’s interesting that one of the reasons I wanted to be an ‘artist’ is precisely for the kind of statements an attitudes generally attributed to artists such as: ‘an artist won’t lick the establishment’s boots.’ I had not questioned even for one moment that in doing this, one is standing in a constant warfare toward ‘the system’ instead of realizing we all are the system. In this stance, one is acting as any other ego in this world that is separated from others, that is standing with some and against others, while having no real practical solution development process in it. In this it is about clarifying that it’s not about the process of creation here, but rather the personalities I had placed more value and as such an experience on.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever idolize a particular lifestyle that stood for a particular idea of persona that I wanted to be based on my desire to stand ‘against the system’ without ever realizing how only an ego can stand in separation from another.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idolize another individual based on the principles of ‘standing up to the system’ or ‘sticking to their guns’ as a way to exemplify people that would still survive and ‘make a living’ in an apparent non-sellout way to ‘the system,’ wherein I had created a sense of heroism toward people that would ‘dare’ to do this, and see them as role models, without realizing that in reality creating such kind of ‘stance’ toward ‘the system’ is once again perpetuating the problem as in standing ‘against’ those that we perceive as ‘the wrongdoers,’ ‘the evil ones,’ ‘the capitalistic mafia,’ without realizing we are all part of and co-creators of this ‘evil mafia’ as our world and money system and we would not be able to have the lives we have right now if we weren’t part of the system as  a whole, which implies that by virtue of being a human being in this world, using money, using resources, relating to others, existing in this world = it implies we are all part of the system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to romanticize the idea of my ‘role models’ being individuals that were cryptic in nature, were antagonistic yet sad and dismal about the state of affairs in the world, which I associated with being profoundly ‘sensitive’ individuals and within this, justifying their stance of being ‘against the system,’ without realizing that this is in fact a victimized state of showing ‘the system’ what ‘it has done to them’ and also remain within such excuse to not partake in the actual process of self-responsibility and self-creation that is required to genuinely change things.

We can actually all learn how to coexist, communicate, come to agreements and work together within the system using our creativity for the betterment of all in a Practical Way, instead of using art as a way to only use representations to criticize, judge, point fingers and blame and taking the vantage point, the righteousness of being the ‘fair one’ that is doing ‘nothing wrong’ and can only resort to ‘complain about it.’ This is precisely how we have disempowered ourselves, by creating yet another bubble in society wherein all the people that are most informed about the problems, that see and understand the problems, that can even create ‘art’ based on it are not really working within the spheres where real change can take place, which is in education, in politics, in law systems wherein we can in fact change the codes, the rules and how we manage our society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have surrounded myself with people that I thought I had admired for ‘taking a stance’ within the system, mostly of judging and complaining about it which I once identified as ‘powerful’ but in fact, it is the most disempowered state one can be in, and more so only channeling one’s observations into a song or a painting or a discourse against ‘the powers that be’ instead of genuinely understanding the process of changing the world beginning with oneself, stopping all antagonistic stance toward ‘the world’ and the perceived ‘evil ones’ and walk the actual process of self-forgiving all the antagonism and inner conflict toward reality so that one can focus on learning how we came to create this mess, this world-system problem and so focus our time, attention and dedication to becoming the solution, to creating and presenting solutions as that’s the real way we can genuinely unite in one single voice that stands as self-responsibility and no longer remain as futile resistance and antagonism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever been in awe and amazed at people that I would see ‘standing up to the establishment’ or ‘daring’ to speak about everything that is wrong about the world and see them as heroes, as ‘superior’ individuals – without realizing that speaking against, shouting, marching, protesting and joining the antagonistic ‘choir’ so to speak is rather a stepping stone and a relatively easier thing to do  – it also creates a self-belief of righteousness and justice, but what has been missed is pondering how such reclamation, how such anger and spite toward the system is in fact supporting to create a solution at all? How is one’s anger, one’s sadness and despair, one’s decision to ‘not sell out’ in fact supporting to change the nature of ourselves as individuals and so with doing that, changing the nature of the world system that does function in a enslavement-mode.

Isn’t it only self-interest to create an experience within oneself of righteousness about one’s ‘beliefs’ and stance when such beliefs are defined according to begin against something/someone? In fact, all our past revolutionaries have become personalities printed on posters as an example to new generations of a perceived ‘way forward’ for change through ideals of change and a call for revolution, when in fact that will only lead to and perpetuate the ongoing wars we have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word idol or hero in the context of people I have seen have apparently ‘stood up to the system’ but only in a fighting mode or in a ‘resistance’ manner, which ultimately keeps the war going between ‘two sides’ that antagonize each other and do not actually get to put down the defenses and work together in self-responsibility to create genuine solutions. This would be the new heroism, wherein we no longer have to ‘fight a battle’ to ‘win’ and so be identified as the ‘hero of the day’ but rather define here-oism as an individual that lives by principle, that commits to being fully HERE as Life and whose actions are aimed at benefiting him/herself and others as well.

Heroism means to stand in absolute self-responsibility and accountability, to ensure one stops all inner wars first, then a real hero or role model emerges as someone that won’t ever antagonize themselves with another, but instead lives the realization that it is only through self-forgiving our polarization, our antagonism and inner battles that we can create a genuine world living in peace and harmony, just as the one that many artists or ‘heroes’ have attempted to create. But ultimately, living in actual self-responsibility makes you no one’s enemy, no one’s ‘freedom fighter’ and so, war is annihilated when recognizing and living in equality.

 

Integrity is the congruence sticking to live by and apply living principles that stand within the consideration of what is best for all, that implies not only sticking to what one prefers or sees as ‘righteous’ but implies actually actively pushing oneself to become a self-responsible and self honest human being. This means walking the talk and stopping any form of hypocrisy by denying what is here as ourselves and blaming someone for it. All is self-responsibility, all is our self-creation.

 

Real self-change begins with oneself, begins with recognizing that this system as ‘capitalism’ is not the problem in itself, but ourselves as human beings . Taking an antagonistic stance and pretending to be an ‘outsider’ to it all is abdicating self-responsibility and creating a new self-religion, a trendy form of excuse, justification and self-belief that the battle against the government/ the establishment can in any way be ‘won’ when there’s nothing to win in a world where if we don’t actually get to work together, we will simply deplete everything that is here and we won’t have anyone to battle on any longer because fighting is never the solution, self-direction and common sense is. Why haven’t we realized how we actually co-create wars as we fight for our plight to freedom? Why should we even have to ‘fight’ for something that should be given as a guaranteed living right?

The solution for myself is once again to be very aware of any reminiscence of praising individuals for having ‘strong beliefs’ that can be disguised as justice, as ‘fighting for what’s right’ but in fact when looking at how they live, what they think and where they stand, compromising one’s financial stability for the sake of ‘sticking to one’s beliefs’ is not common sense. More so with artists, there’s a lot of creativity and engineering processes that are being squandered only in pieces that are shown in museums or streets, but still just pieces of matter, words or images that intend to open up people’s eyes but I’ve realized that art in itself as a material thing is is not enough – it can be a starting point, a bridge, an opening toward a certain perspective or view,  but currently we mostly lack ways in which to give a follow-up to that ‘awakening’ process.

That’s why sharing about this self-creative process is the most important thing I see is required in our current society, so that we can shift our focus from the fights and antagonism or despair, toward an actual recognition of our power and ability to change ourselves and so change the world. Sounds like a cliché, but I’m testing this real time and it works, and it is not a quick fix since it is like re-weaving one’s own life toward a supportive outcome. I can guarantee that you won’t be the same as you were before, but isn’t that the point of living: growing out of the constriction and taking one’s own self-directive decisions and choices in life? What a better way to do this but within a principle where all/everyone is considered, where one recognizes one’s own potential and so lives in the world embracing the current consequential outflows of our past, because we understand that cringing about it makes no difference – and instead, we focus on applying, living and becoming the solution.

 

Within this I realize that I have actually stopped following ‘role models’ and decided to rather commit myself to be my own role model and within that become a living example for myself and others of what living as a self-responsible being implies. This is then something that entails committing to live by the principles of life in self-honesty wherein I decide to make of my life my own work of art that I can actually fully stand for and so debunk the ideas of having to follow other role models that so far have led us nowhere. Not even admiring a great man that shared with us the process of Self Forgiveness is acceptable, because in admiration one beliefs one is incapable of standing as equal to another, and that’s the whole point of walking this process: to recognize our full potential as equals within our individuality, which means: each one holds a very specific key to world-change.

 

Life is rather short, we only got one life so let’s live it every moment fully in self-creation mode.

 

Inspire yourself with people around the globe standing up and walking the process of self creation:

 

Pointing back at me

 

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


411. Do Good and Evil Really Exist?

We tend to want to hold on to the idea of ourselves being ‘good people’ or there being really ‘good people’ out there without questioning what the origin or starting point of such goodness exists.  With this it’s not to imply that there’s no ‘good’ at all but certainly it is a cool point to investigate all the aspects that one has defined as ‘good’ within oneself and simply check the starting point for it: am I genuinely being assistive and supportive toward others because I see that it makes sense to support and assist others the way I would want to be assisted by other individuals as well and so make it the principles by which we all coexist in  – OR am I doing it for the sake of how others will see me, how I believe I can be rewarded for ‘being good’ or ‘doing good’ and using it as a form of ‘good credit’ for oneself in relation to others.

First point to realize here is that we can all change the starting point of what we have defined as ‘good’ based on that which is beneficial and supportive to ourselves and one another. Maybe we just haven’t yet considered how certain acts of kindness, generosity or wanting to be a good person/ ‘being a good person’ can in fact be a counter act/ a clean-up/contrition act from past experiences that could have been the exact opposite to everything perceived as good or benevolent, such as having been very selfish, authoritarian, careless toward others and so one then feels like ‘we have to make up for it all’ through becoming the opposite polarity as a ‘good person.’ In this we have the absolute ability to decide we want to change this because we see that doing ‘bad’/harmful and abusive things to oneself and others is not the way to go, and so one makes the decision to change and commits oneself to practically live it – but! If after realizing one is actually using the ‘bad/evil’ as a memory or starting point to ‘do good’ and we only go to the opposite polarity as in now wanting to do good and be good and almost push it so much in an expectation to gain ‘the grace of god’ so to speak as in seeking to feel good/positively within oneself for ‘cleaning one’s acts’ with ‘good/positive deeds’ or for example to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by others/ get the approval from others or be recognized as a form of good-doer or any other ‘high moral standard’ we may have within ourselves – such as the driving force behind altruism and charitable acts – then the starting point is rather misaligned and further destructive than constructive.

 

Why? Because doing ‘good’ based on the cleaning-up act for the ‘evil/bad’ past is merely believing that the answer is doing the opposite. What I’ve realized in this process is that merely opting for ‘the opposite’ is not a suggested way to go because in this we recreate the pattern of the ‘good’ vs. the ‘bad’ or evil – which is a definition, a charged experience toward something that could be simply supportive/non supportive. What usually happens is that one creates one’s own trap within the good vs. bad morality polarity enslavement which is the foundation of, for example, the church/religious systems that play on in this good vs. evil principle to manipulate people to ‘do good’ based on fearing being punished for ‘all the bad.’  The same is ingrained in a secular person that perceives the law/government as the authority in a society and so, that person will still ‘do good’ based on fearing to be punished/standing in bad credit against law/government/financial systems or any other authority as well as peers in society as well. So here we become subject to our own constructs, to our own punishment-reward mentality to which we give a negative and positive value respectively where we then either feel good or bad about something, instead of rather asking oneself: well, am I being supportive to myself and others? am I considering living principles in my thoughts, words and deeds as a principle of who I decide to be?  OR am I only acting in either a ‘good’ manner to get an energy fix from it, to get acceptance, validation, recognition and better living positions in many occasions where ‘doing good’ is linked to being rewarded for it in an economic manner as well? One can then ponder: is there any genuine ‘good’ then or are we only acting out on either looking for a ‘good feeling’/positive experience within ourselves or escaping from/making up for past ‘bad’/evil deeds that one felt ‘bad’ about and wanting to ‘do good’ now to not FEEL or hide within self all the perceived evil/bad without first understanding it?

Here the first point I suggest considering is that a process of self change involves realizing and understanding that one will not ‘feel good’ as in having to create a positive experience every time you simply decide to correct/align yourself to the best possible supportive and sustainable outcome.  It is to realize that deciding to change oneself, to be self-supportive toward oneself and others is not in itself a ‘good’ deed that stands in contrast to doing ‘bad’ because in that, even by considering the solution to be ‘positive’ we re-create and trap ourselves again in the good vs. bad mentality/mind construct which is how we then believe that if we do ‘good’ = we can FEEL great/good/superior/better etc. and feel like being at the top of the world with all this glory – which is an energetic experience. Here we can consider some physical laws: what goes up must go down and so we perceive that the ‘down’ experience is negative, while it is only getting down from the ride way up high.

To prevent this up and ride experience between the ‘good vs. bad/evil’ and the experiences one gets through them is to then focus on realizing that doing what is best for all is not something that one should create a ‘good experience’ about, or that it should be rewarded, receive recognition or get some sense of validation for now being a ‘good person’ and doing ‘good deeds’ – nope. It is to realize that what one is doing in this decision to change one’s destructive/harmful/abusive acts is simply directing oneself to live in an alignment with how things/life/our minds should have always work: considering what is best for all, assessing one’s participation in thought word and deed in every moment within oneself and toward others/the environment so that we ensure that every single moment we are aligning to these principles and within doing so, we integrate this reference as the new human nature we want to become and see in this world – it implies simply aligning ourselves to how things should have always been which is not less or more than what currently exists, we don’t have coin sluts to gain value for doing good or get some kind of physical body or substance extraction for doing ‘bad’ things either…

Within this then one removes the ‘charges’ to any positive or negative value to the perceived ‘good’ and the perceived ‘bad’ and so be able to understand bad/evil as the reverse of life, as a mistaken road one took that requires to be corrected/realigned so that it can be functional/supportive with what is best for all by walking a process of self-directive correction. This then prevents the whole ‘fallen’ experience, the guilt trip-traps and the whole mentality that one is ‘done’ or ‘never will get it right’ as we all tend to give up so easily in our minds when believing that we are just evil and have no remedy – which is also another self-victimization pattern to not actually take the time, effort and dedication that it takes to change oneself, which is mostly a decision to let go of the energy high linked to doing good and the guilt/bad experience when doing all the perceived ‘bad.’

With this also comes the necessary realization that: we’ve never dedicated our lives to direct this realignment to how we should have always ‘functioned’ in our minds and in our world – if things were just ‘fine’ in this world and anything had really been genuinely ‘good’ or ‘supportive’ we would not be seeking to change ourselves and this world all over, as we would be living such change as a new living principle for ourselves as humanity = this hasn’t happened and that’s why we have to realize that it is a process, it takes active participation and self-awareness in every moment we are alive to be continually living/applying this re-direction within oneself to in every moment assess one’s words, thoughts deeds to create/contribute to the change we see is beneficial for oneself and all parts in an equally supportive manner – that can also be understood as no harm, no abuse toward oneself and others – and instead doing what is constructive, supportive for oneself and others who are also ‘ourselves’ in fact.

Therefore one can also be more aware next time when we perceive that one wants to hold onto this ‘goodness’ within self or the perceived ‘goodness’ in others and Really investigate what such ‘good’ consists of, why we perceive it as ‘good’, what is the starting point of such thing we perceive as good and so consider the following: because our minds and this entire world system was built within the foundation of a non-supportive/abusive and non-equal basis, we cannot genuinely expect a supportive principle to exist as a general ‘trait’ or inherent property/inherent nature of human beings, of who we are as the mind – including the way that we have built this world system based on our own mind-constructs where it is evident it is not benefiting everyone the way it should –which is why I suggest to re-evaluate whenever one perceives someone to be ‘naturally good’ and get to know how such person ‘became’ a good person and what their story is. From that we can also learn why we tend to hold on to ‘the good’ so much and fear the evil/bad.

Having said this, it is more to realize that the construct of morality as the polarity of ‘good vs. evil’ is a definition, a construction we create in order to trap ourselves in the problem without focusing on the practical solutions required to align our thoughts, words and deeds to a supportive outcome. The potential to go ‘either way’ exists within each one of us in every moment that we are living here, which is why I see it as important to share some practical ways to rather use the morality construct as another tool of self-assessment to see ‘who am I’ toward the good vs. evil mentality.

 

One can then use the words ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in the following constructive manner:

-  If I perceive a ‘good’ aspect within me, something I’ve defined as ‘good’ within myself (or others) then I have to ask myself: what is motivating me to do/think this which I’ve defined as good? What is my starting point? Am I expecting something in return to this? Am I wanting to be seen as a good person by others? What experience as a feeling do I get when I believe myself to be good or am told by others that I am a ‘good person’? And so apply self-forgiveness for all the energy charges around these ‘good deeds/thoughts/experiences’ as all the positively-charged definitions so that what’s left is only the raw-living actions that are genuinely supportive, that are and can become part of one’s new natural/inherent expression of living by principles, by actions, by living words instead of being moved through/by energy all the time where we play the reward/punishment type of assessment or ‘equation’ in our minds based on energetic highs and lows, instead of just seeing the benefit for oneself and all if we think/say/act in a way that is best for all and vice versa if we don’t do/act/think based on what is best for all.

- If I observe some ‘bad’ aspect within me then I have to ask myself: why have I defined this as bad? Who, what and how am I affecting myself and others with these defined bad/evil thoughts, words and deeds? If I realize that I am genuinely harming or abusing myself and others then how can I correct/align this point that I’ve defined as bad? And so use this assessment to rather create a practical plan to correct and align in a directive manner this ‘bad/evil’ aspect within oneself to a supportive and constructive outcome. This is how then making mistakes or creating the perceived ‘fall’ is simply an opportunity to evaluate: ok where did I miss a point of direction, why we did that which we knew was not supportive or where did we miss a point of self-awareness where we acted upon past patterns, upon the ingrained non-supportive thoughts/deeds that lead us to a known path which is that of non-constructive/self-destructive choices and consequential outflows. We all then can constantly learn from our perceived ‘bad/evil’ mind construct while at the same time, applying self-forgiveness for acting out on such thoughts that are detrimental to oneself and others after which one can then make a firm assessment and decisive plan to support oneself to correct/align this point within oneself from here on as a Living Principle.

 

This is a way I can see one can go ‘shedding’ the moral construct of good vs. bad, to ensure there’s no positive or negative charge to either side but only assess the words said, the actions taken, the consequences that ensue and then see what is required to be changed to align it to living principles and what does one practically require to do to live this plan of corrective action. This is how the tools of writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application become our constant tools of self-investigation and our do-it-yourself evaluation foundation to get to know ourselves and for example investigate who am I within the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ construct, how does this exist within me and if such words still create an experience either positive or negative within myself.

 

There’s no point in wanting to hold on to something ‘good’ of which we don’t exactly yet know its origin and starting point of, and mostly I would actually suggest to practically doubt anything that’s apparently ‘good’ or ‘positive’ in nature as then we have to assess what motivates it, what ‘funds’ it ($), what are the interest behind it, is there any past ‘evil’ that’s being used as a starting point for oneself or others to do now ‘good’ as an energetic experience or ‘reward’ process in self-interest? And so we take off the mask of ourselves as our mind – which is in itself not at all ‘good’ or benevolent – and so rather learn how not to react to discovering self-honesty as in seeing what might be in fact a ‘real ugly truth’ of ourselves, which I could visualize like realizing one has a detuned guitar, or having a broken engine: we have to understand how we got them detuned/broken and so place our time, effort and knowledge in application to fix it = we do the same with ourselves and our minds/lives and so stop thinking within the ‘good vs. evil’ frame of mind and just consider practical reality.

 

For further reference:

Good vs Evil     Learn more about supporting yourself as your mind, how to deal with energy, one’s ego and how we can actively change ourselves here:


409. The Uncomfortable Truth

 

Estamos atados a nuestra mente 07

 

 

One of the reasons why this process cannot be done by ‘one individual alone’ is because we are very prone to creating our comfortable bubble where we believe that ‘nothing is happening, I don’t react, everything’s done, my mind is quiet’ and how else would it be if I remained in my own little world and my own little bubble!’ So that is certainly not walking process. Facing yourself as this world is not only facing ourselves in our own minds or as ‘the world system’ but facing each other as the mind we are and have become.

 

So, here I open up my recent reactions to the exposure of my own truth which is the state of the mind that we all have and how whenever someone dares to ‘show it all’ then I react ‘OH man! how dare that person do that!’ or ‘How can that exist within a person’s mind? which is all backchat that is in fact immediately dodging MY own responsibility to myself, my mind, my judgments instead of immediately reacting to ‘assess’ another’s mind/words/actions/behavior within me as the character of ‘politeness’ or keeping things in order and control, no different actually to how politics operate and I will open up this point of politeness and how it is in fact of course a façade and self-deception that as anything, can be walked through and rather turned into an expression of consideration, instead of a blanket used to cover up that which I ‘don’t want to see/face’ as myself which is essentially just postponing facing the inevitable which is the truth of who we are and have become as our minds, and so to not judge ourselves as the mind, but rather learn how to support ourselves, how to understand ourselves as the mind, how to self-forgive and so walk/live the corrections which is the real direction for self-change required here.

 

The most important thing within this is to realize that taking one’s mind or another’s mind personally is a reaction, it is of the mind and it is only perpetuating the same problem we have co-created because it is like realizing that one participating in one’s mind is like giving fuel to a fire. So, basic point here is also to realize that we’re all in a process and even if one is aware of the tools and ‘knows’ about the principle of self-responsibility, it doesn’t imply that ‘that person is going to take self responsibility’ or ‘is not reacting at all now.’ We are all walking through it and what’s more important: if I react to another and turn it as a point of having my expectations ‘unfulfilled’ it means that there’s a point of expectation that I haven’t really sorted out and a point of reaction toward words/actions that exist in one’s mind behind such ‘disappointment,’ and that because this mind exists within me and everyone, then it is my responsibility to actually take responsibility for it – No more and no less, no matter ‘who’ I believe is triggering an experience within me, I have to be able to stand absolute regardless of what is being said/done either personally or indirectly.

 

I realize that my responsibility does not extend only to ‘myself’ but others as well,  and that’s where I tend to simply think that well, I can ignore the person/situation and not make a fuzz about it – but if the person is already walking a process  and they are already working on themselves to stop the mind, then it is absolutely my responsibility to support another within my possibility and ability to do so,  as that is exactly what I would like and want another to do with myself as well, which is actually what I have lived through these past years of being supported as part of a group walking this process of unveiling the ‘uncomfortable truths’ of ourselves as the mind, that which we have kept secret and ‘veiled’ throughout time.

So here is a self-reminder how everything works in reverse in the mind: we have to be cautious when things seem ‘too stable’ or ‘not much happening’ and instead whenever conflict emerges to be grateful for it as it is unveiling an aspect of myself, of ourselves that we haven’t faced as is the case here.  

 

 

The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

This is the realization that everything that I judge in another exists within me.

 

Character extraction

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Responsibility and taking it All back to self at the individual level.

Based on the usual judgments I have created upon people that I perceive have something ‘wrong’ in them to, for example, be what I have defined as deliberately ‘evil’ or deliberately ‘deceptive’ or deliberately ‘conflictive’ and perceiving myself that ‘I could not stand such individual’ is demonstrating to me one thing only: where and how I have not yet considered such individual as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another within the consideration that if the person is too mind possessed, too conflictive, then I don’t want to have anything to do with the person, which is essentially playing what I had criticized in our society wherein those that were mentally challenging to society and deemed as ‘crazy’ or ‘too out of the loop’ so to speak, were exiled and sent out of the main centers of society, as they actually posed a threat to the order, the ‘system’ in itself which I also conceived as a reason to simply not have to ‘deal with’/walk with and actually learn how to assist and support ourselves as individuals that can be mentally challenging when it comes to how we operate in our minds.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become my own denial as in wanting to not face or excuse myself from having to confront/face a part of me as another individual that exists in fact in each one of us that have a mind, wherein when seeing patterns in another that I believe myself ‘incapable’ of doing or not being able to ‘fathom’ them, I go into a helplessness situation toward that point/person/mind that I am in fact then still reacting to within the belief that ‘ I cannot conceive how that can exist in another/ why they say/do things in such ways’ without realizing that who we all are and have become in our minds is essentially the description of being mind controlled, being schizophrenic as in being separated from each other, from our physical body and have become nothing else but ‘agents’ to consciousness, to the mind which we here understand that it has never existed within the principle and consideration of what is best for all because the starting point and origin of our mind was never meant to support our self-realization of being in fact equals and one in this reality and so

When and as I see myself creating a denial/existing in denial based on how I react to another’s mind based on backchat, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and expectations of ‘how another should act/be by now’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that here I am going into the assumption that people have had to ‘change’ already according to time and process application, without realizing that me reacting to another’s mind possession or patterns is in fact indicating my own patterns, my own reactions that I still have to deal with/walk through which is the whole point here. I realize that it is not about ‘the other person’ as it is all about myself, my own reactions to words/patterns/behaviors that exist within each one of us as mind consciousness systems that even if we know ‘how to support ourselves’ with self-supportive tools, I am here being the proof that going into denial, helplessness, disbelief, disappointment about others is really only about myself that am still reacting to people’s minds, processes and experiences.

 

I commit myself to when facing a person that is in a particular mindset that I have defined as ‘tough’ or ‘challenging’ that I then place myself in the position of understanding which is a practical humbleness that I have to practice wherein instead of looking for someone else to ‘take the ball’ I rather read/hear the person’s words and see how can I best assist and support myself to understand the person and so be able to in turn support another within  placing myself in another’s shoes so to speak – which practically means living humbleness without expectations of ‘what the person should already know by now’ as we have proven ourselves as human beings that ‘lessons learned’ have come and gone and we have repeated the exact same mistakes, which shows then to what extent I have to remind myself that it isn’t as ‘easy’ to change or to expect change from others instead of first working with myself to ensure that I am in fact that point of change and the becomes the living example of how it is possible to walk with and support another as myself, regardless of ‘who’ that another is, ‘what’ they say or how they present themselves as I then recognize and realize at all times that ‘that another person is myself too.’ And this is the essential aspect of facing our equality: nothing of what exists in another is really ‘separate’ from myself, and so

I commit myself to live by the principle of really stopping any expectation upon another, any idea of ‘how another should be/act like/live by now’ within ideas, beliefs or perceptions of who I believe another to be – and instead focus on myself, on actually ensuring that I am not immediately diverting my attention to ‘another’ but to first and foremost focus on myself as it would be kind of pointless to try and ‘support another’ if I am reacting even in the most subtle ways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see my reaction as ‘disappointment’ but I realize that this would be like wearing a ‘good doer’ suit wherein it is  perceived as  more ‘benevolent’ to believe I experience disappointment upon myself and others upon who I created expectations about ‘who they are’ but  instead I recognize the ‘disappointment’ as the façade to create a form of victimization, because it’s seen with a ‘better light’ at the eyes of others, but in fact it was just an experience of giving  up, not knowing what to do/how to solve situations and problems wherein I then go into the experience of ‘I do not know what to do/what else to say’ and in doing so, rendering the situation, the person simply ‘gone’ and ‘obsolete’ – which is no different, once again to how we treat mentally ill people in our society, wherein because don’t take the time to walk with them, we simply locked them out, treat them as schizophrenics, paranoids with dissociative personalities and never have in fact taken the time to investigate what they represent as a part of ourselves, as the mind and so to not judge the person as the actual physical living flesh they are, but to simply learn to observe, to recognize the mind for what it is, and so be able to develop ways to assist and support oneself and others to best be able to walk through our mind and to always stick to principle instead of allowing personal vendettas or personal experiences and points taken personal from deviating ourselves from this process wherein for the first time we are doing what has never been done and what we as human beings don’t like doing which is: seeing ourselves as the mind, introspecting, self-investigating, which this includes not only ‘myself’ but also learning how to walk with others, their minds and configurations, to understand how and why they ‘came to be’ who they are as the mind and so never miss the point of realizing that no matter ‘how bad’ or how ‘evil’ I may perceive another, I am only judging another’s mind with my own mind which means that this is a point that obviously exists within me and here to self-forgive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having harbored throughout many years the idea that because we are in this process, we simply do not ‘intend’ any ‘evil’ against one another, and so in this creating the assumption that because we understand principles, then it’s done, there’s no more frictions or conflicts, backchats beliefs toward one another, but this is simply not so. I’ve realized how much work it actually takes to really integrate this point of self-change and my point here to take self responsibility for is the experience of just projecting my own giving up to another as in ‘not knowing what else to do’ and seeing another as a ‘lost case’ instead of actually realizing that this mind /this person/this situation is actually a gift wherein I am demonstrating and mirroring back to myself where it is that I still have to work with within myself, within my mind, within my expectations and stopping them, within the memories that get activated within me whenever I have been throughout my life subject to any form of another’s mind projection as I see and realize that in the past I accepted and allowed this to affect ‘me’ because I then had no context or understanding of who we are as the mind and therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the thought pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ when I was in elementary school and I was subject to bullying for being the ‘star of the class’ and have kids stop talking to me or telling me how they were going to ‘defeat me’ and ‘bring me down’ and ‘win over me’ wherein I created an extensive amount of stress, apprehension and general I could say depression at age 7-8 wherein I could not fathom why these kids that were supposed to be my friends, my classmates were ‘getting at me.’ In this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of ‘I rather just not be ‘as good as I’ve been’ so that ‘they’ can have the spot they want and ‘I’ stop being the problem for them’ – without realizing that in this I would have given up on myself and making their words a ‘reality’ as a point for me to make decisions based on what others think/believe/say about myself or toward ‘me.’ So I realized by support of my mother that that was not the way and that I simply didn’t have to ‘listen to others’ but still, this ‘spine’ that emerged from these situations and later on becoming more aware of how we operate toward another as human beings in this world, made me feel powerless toward ‘the evil’ in this world and the actual nastiness and secrecy and deliberate hate that exists between human beings, which is how I then created the experience of being ‘too sensitive’ to these things which is why I then became a ‘hard ass’ so to speak so as to be able to cope better with all of these experiences that I went through while growing up and ‘taking the heat’ of things, while seeing myself in a constant ‘battle’ so to speak, which is why I also developed this mentality of having to be on a ‘defense mode’ most of the times toward those that I perceive are ‘out to get me.’

I realize that this is the modus vivendi that we all have, and that I’m no different to any other individual and I bet we have all created and built up our ‘walls’ of defense so that no one can really ‘get us’ or get to see the actual vulnerability that we all have as human beings, because this is understood as an opportunity to abuse a form of trust, of intimacy and understanding – so I see that because I’ve done this myself, I’ve been there myself, I can then understand why in the mind we tend to automate defense-mode and ‘attack-modes’ toward one another in the belief that ‘we have to defend ourselves.’

The  only thing that requires to be ‘defended’ is who we are as ego, because Life is simply recognized and supported.  

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have re-enacted, re-experienced within myself the same experiences of shock, sadness, disbelief and mostly  helplessness toward others such as the memory when I saw my ‘friends’ in school talking to each other’s ears during lunchtime and looking at myself and when I tried to join them, they simply ignored me, which is when I decided that I would have to learn how to be alone – and in this, allowing this secrecy and these backchats and ‘conspiracies’ about me to get everyone in the group to ‘dislike me’ to define ‘who I would be’ toward everyone else which is how I then started developing a constant state of distrust, having very few people as ‘friends’ and generally toward human beings creating this general idea that ‘everyone is evil’ so I could not like or trust people easily, which in a way it was cool as I was seeing the nature of who we are as the mind – but the problem is that I took it personally and I believed that ‘the world was out to ‘get me down’’ and that people wanted ‘my position’ in school/in my life or that ‘wanted’ my life, which lead me to essentially have virtually no friends, specially no ‘female’ friends as I considered that it was easier to ‘get at me’ or get to ‘steal’ the people I liked or my friends – lol which my fear became somewhat true at some point – but I see that this is all just what I have created in my mind, as my memories that I’ve loaded based on that initial disbelief, sadness, helplessness toward others’ words and having taken them personally, and so as a ‘result’ simply managing to become a ‘tougher’ person which was nothing else but the expression I had to ‘pull out’ in order to defend myself and have ‘no one to fuck with me’ which of course is not the solution, as this ‘stance’ of self-defense or being in constant ‘vigilant’ mode also leads us to perpetuate the state of wars within and wars without.

 

So in this I realize that If I am in fact here to embody stability and harmony as myself and toward others, I have to first ensure that I am not conditioning my behavior based on ‘how others act’ and so ‘act as a response To Them’ as this would be then Re-acting, responding, replying, reminding myself ‘who I should be’ toward another based on memories, emotions, beliefs, expectations, assumptions  - all of which is of the mind and all of which I cannot trust when being here with another, reading/hearing/sharing words with another and so in this

I commit myself to ensure that whenever I read something that is directed towards ‘me’ and I perceive it as a form of attack or slander, I stop and I breathe. And I ensure that I am stable and that I am not rehashing my past memories and experiences of ‘not knowing how to deal with this attack’ as in primary school – but instead immediately ground myself within the realization that these words are coming from another mind as part of the mind that I am also existing as, and as such, reacting in any way with fears, judgments, emotions and beliefs is nothing else but perpetuating the problem = not taking self-responsibility for myself, therefore I direct myself then to take into consideration how can I best support that individual and do so the same way I would like it to be done to myself, and actually seeing or ‘reminding’ myself that that person is a part of me that I am here to support as I have vowed to do so for myself in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the façade that ‘everything should be fine’ because ‘there is no conflict’ and as such maintain this belief or experience of ‘everything is cool’ or ‘workable’ and whenever  a point of conflict emerges in my world and reality,  then I go into a form of ‘blame’ toward the person/point that emerged as ‘conflict’ for ‘disrupting the workable/agreeable situation’ which is in fact only pointing to myself where it is that I want to maintain a form of control over how I believe the situation should be, and how even if I have tried to ‘embrace conflict’ there was an expectation of such conflict being ‘solved’ already and so when the point repeats/reactivates I go into a helplessness state as in the belief of ‘this point/person/mind should have gotten it by now’ and so in this actually using  this backchat as an excuse to not FIRST of all look at why have I created such expectations upon ‘others’ instead of first pin pointing the reaction, the experience that leads me to create such backchat in the first place? Why have I accepted and allowed myself to dismiss this subtle reaction within ME and immediately shift it toward ‘another’ which implies a form of righteousness as well: I am right and the other is the one causing the conflict, which is in fact dodging /abdicating my own responsibility first and foremost. 

 

When and as I see myself having the backchat/assumption of ‘This person should have gotten it by now’ I stop and I breathe as I realize that in this I am immediately dodging my own reaction, my own expectations, my own beliefs upon that person/situation and the belief of ‘point being corrected/point is aligned/point will no longer repeat the pattern’ as I realize that in the mind everything that we have become throughout time is nothing else but a broken record where we repeat our same experiences from our very early memories in our lifetime, which I have seen and exposed for myself as well. Therefore I then commit myself to understand the person/situation, rather see what point is emerging now, what point is repeating, why and how can I best assist and support myself first to practice blaming or seeing ‘others’ as the problem, as I realize that obviously no matter how ‘subtle’ these reactions emerge within me, such words when directed as an expectation ‘toward another’ is indicating me that I first have to look within myself and see where I haven’t yet changed/aligned and corrected the point of reaction within myself, which is the whole point here of absolute self-responsibility and taking it all back to self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the denial of my own secret mind when judging secrecy based on others’ words/actions, without realizing that in this I am once again dodging the realization that everything that goes on in my mind is still somewhat ‘secret’ as in there being no other being but myself in my mind and so by judging/denying/pointing fingers at ‘secrecy’ I am in essence missing out the point that has actually enabled us all to become ‘fearful’ to things like mass surveillance and so forth, which is how we want to ‘keep things secret’ as in hidden agendas where one can still allow backchat and imaginations/fantasies for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about others which is a form of abuse as I realize that I would certainly not want myself to be subject to or an object of someone else’s mind – so for this, it is to first of all understand that ‘who we are as the mind’ has been the epitome of secrecy, the secret mind as that aspect of ourselves that we have veiled from everyone else, wherein we usually paint a good picture of us while hiding the ‘actual truth’ of ourselves. And so the title of this is ‘the uncomfortable truth’ which is where we believe that we are ‘right’ in our minds, that we are the ones doing the proper assessments, without realizing that when we are in any way judging/blaming/dismissing or denying another as oneself, one is definitely becoming the source and origin of the problem itself, as in the mind nothing can be trusted, in the mind as an immediate and almost ‘quantum’ experience that comes into our physical bodies and permeates our ‘reasoning’ from which we create an immediate response/reaction toward another, is not to be trusted, it is to be actually Stopped, breathed through in order to then assess what is it that’s coming up within me, why am I having this experience in my physical body, and so not attempt to ‘reply’ or ‘react’ to another as a way to ‘prove wrong’ or ‘prove right’ but instead focus on how I can respond in a way wherein I am taking self-responsibility which means that

 

I commit myself to respond to another based on the consideration of themselves as myself, and so first ensuring that I am fully stable, not participating in any experience – and if I was, then I Refrain/stop myself from reacting in the moment – so that I can take the time to assess how it is best to assist and support another, instead of wanting to ‘teach a lesson’ or ‘remind’ another of something that I believe ‘should have been ‘gotten’ by now’ – which is another form of righteousness or superiority when it comes to ‘proving another wrong’ or proving that ‘the point has not changed’ as an excuse to ‘dismiss’ another, which would be like wanting to cut my own arm just because it doesn’t have the strength that I expected it to have, even if I haven’t actually done the necessary work/training to develop such muscle and ensure that I have done all that is required to, for example, have my arm have a particular strength to a particular task or ability in my physical body.

 

I realize that everything that we’ve done throughout our lives in this reality is to dismiss, deny, negate, discriminate, exile, marginalize everything and everyone that doesn’t comply or doesn’t ‘fall’ into the creation of a normalcy which can be of course quite deceptive if not all cards are on the table, which means if oneself hasn’t actually taken absolute responsibility for what one is doing/experiencing/believing and perceiving about others and or the reasons why I would want to not want to see/not want to face/exile or marginalize another within the belief that ‘there is no cure, there is no solution’ which all that comes to mind when writing these words is the image of doctors in mental institutions that keep patients sedated and fully controlled just because we’ve given up on understanding how they got to such mental condition – or with ‘criminals’ that are sentenced to death which is our easy way out in society to deal with our own consequences, to not have to ‘face the dangerous person’ but, really being foolish to not investigate HOW and WHY we have created such mental problems, such so-called ‘criminals’ and why even our definitions of mental illnesses and criminals have been so diminished in our ‘mind framework’ dismissing all of us really that still exist in our minds and that still participate in a world-system where we commit crimes against life as a collective by allowing the starvation and the marginalization of those that we have rendered ‘helpless’ and ‘poor’ and ‘eccentric’ and ‘mentally ill’ and so forth, which are all tags that we create to justify our inability to work with them/walk with them in order to get to point of stability – which, of course, won’t be an easy thing to do, but it is what I would like others to do toward myself if I was in such position/role of being the marginalized, the ‘ousted’ one or the rejected one, as I’ve certainly to some degree have faced such point myself so, I realize that that is what I want for myself and so I have to give it to others that are willing of course to support themselves back, as that’s the essential principle I commit myself to walk here: to support others the way that I would like to be supported myself.

 

I commit myself to stop all assumptions, all projections of ideas/beliefs and perceptions I have toward ‘others’ and ‘who they are’ or ‘Should be’ in my mind, and instead commit to live in the moment where words are assessed in the moment instead of carrying ‘past history’ of a person within myself as a recollection of ‘experiences’ toward ‘them’ to then decide ‘who I am toward the person’ as this is my own conditioning my own ‘program’ that I have to ensure is not interfering with my ability to support another as myself which begins by ensuring I am not tainting another’s words based on the past or ‘who I believe the person to be’ but rather work each time, anew, from the words  in the moment, no past, not future, just here.

 

 

I commit myself to live the word humbleness in practicality within the consideration of others as myself which implies placing myself in the shoes of another, understand ‘where they’re coming from’ ensuring I’m not taking their words/actions/thoughts personally, but that I am able to instead if I see myself able to understand the words, I can most certainly challenge and will myself to support another that I see is willing to support themselves too, as this is how I see that through supporting each other it is easier to face the points and patterns that still exist within ourselves, so this is to not see another through eyes of ‘how changed he/she should be by now’ but to simply work with what is here, no preconceptions, no expectations, no denials, no running away or dodging the point but facing it fully here as it is part of my reality, and that then is of course my responsibility to face as well.

 

I commit myself to live the word gentleness which is a very necessary aspect when it comes to my words and to ensure that I am not in any way creating a defense mode toward another or to prove ‘righteousness’ or want to ‘control’ a situation through any amount of force, as I realize that this is what I have judged from any form of ‘authority’ that I have experienced such form of ‘control’ form, which is nothing else but actual fear that attempts to keep things ‘stable’ instead of facing them and directing them as self – so I realize that in order to live Gentleness  I have to let go of any speck of fear that creates the ‘defense mode’ and so align my words to embody that gentleness, consideration and humbleness to understand another, to support another as I would like to be supported myself and so be willing to embrace all parts of what is here in this world as myself and as points that I require to face if I am in fact to ‘train’ myself to educate myself to support any other person in this world that wants to support themselves back.

 

Further reading:

254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

 

Suggested places to understand more about how to embrace and support the nature of who we have become as our mind:

 

Demonology | Revealing the world of demonsDesteni

 

The History of Desteni and Demons – Part One – YouTube

 

 

DSC00535

 

 

 

To learn more about how to support yourself and another, share, walk with us and become part of the necessary liberation from fighting against each other and instead, become life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


404. Deconstructing Culture as Myself

 

As I continue my self-investigation it seems that realizing the fact that we all have been preprogrammed individuals following a very specific ‘plan’ that involved conditioning ourselves to become a certain role/personality in our minds and never question it,  wasn’t still completely grasped within me when it comes to seeing culture and how it has been specifically designed to support particular agendas that have led to various ‘cultural movements’ that within me I still wanted to believe were attempts of us as human beings trying to ‘break-through’ or ‘break-free’ – lol – but mostly managing to break ourselves further through imprinting certain behaviors, ideas, concepts, morals, ‘world vision’ that became actual distractors in the sense that none of these points would be useful or supportive for a genuine change in this world, but instead it was the patterning and standardization of what we would think, what we would understand as ‘freedom’ and what we would find entertaining or alluring in our lives, which is also containing the ways in which we see/define/categorize and think ourselves and everyone/everything else, which is mind control through the most ‘subtle means’ such as television/media/arts and everything that is usually reached by the average person, even if such person doesn’t go to school for example.

 

All of this was part of the ‘greater plan’ to be perpetually enslaved to our own constant desire to experience, to be ‘hooked on energy’ so to speak which is what we accepted as our every day living, our every day ‘drive’ and motivation to go to work, do the exact same things every day to earn a living and then come home and be able to relax while getting ‘updated’ on ‘what is going on in our minds’ which is what then becomes part of your passive indoctrination into new fascinations, new obsessions, new desires to consume, body types, new personalities, new things to essentially get ourselves occupied with in our minds which became a self-inflicted way to accept and allow ourselves to dive into complacency of how this system operates, since we mostly came to conclude that ‘As long as I can have my free time to do whatever I like doing to relax and entertain myself and those around me are protected ($),  who cares whatever else is going on in the world?’ – we even have gotten to the point of praising our enslavement by idolizing those that we have accepted and allowed as ‘masters’ in our world and gullibly thinking that we can someday reach/rich ‘that top’… without realizing the system is structured to not allow anyone else to get to such positions, but be constantly reminded ‘they can’ if they just hit the jackpot like stars do nowadays with reality shows, singing contests and whatnot. It’s All around us and no matter if kids are homeschooled, kids will still be having a TV, internet, peers that will simply be also the product of all of this so, we have to establish principles in order to direct ourselves within it and so the younger more impressionable minds too.

 

DSC00397

 

In my case I linking what should have been rather obvious to me from the time that I became more ‘acquainted’ with TV at the age of 7, specifically cable TV and American TV Channels. But also from the books that I read throughout my teenage years, I was still holding on to them and the writers as proof of what I believed was an attempt of us to ‘breakthrough’ or ‘step out of the system’ when it comes to human creativity and other creations like music, fine arts, films – all of the ‘marvels’ of the world that I once saw myself being ‘inspired by’ in order to overcome my own inner conflict which was in fact first of all created by everything that I began watching on TV as I had no actual ‘worries’ in my life as such. I can say I am a genuine product of spending childhood watching MTV for example. So, I’ve been finding out how it is that these ‘artists’ were in fact used or let’s place it in a more tangible way: their own creativity was rather used in order to further certain agendas related to ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to instilling ‘new’ ideas, personalities, fantasies, personalities, ‘ideologies’ and even addictions within people, all of it paid with what is called fame and fortune wrapped in the package of ‘celebritism’ or artistic personalities or eccentrics that portrayed the apparent ‘perfect ways’ to ‘escape the system’ – to present the illusion of ‘yes, anyone can get to the top!’ or ‘Anyone can beat the system and escape!’  and bam! There I went, right into it as far as I could when I was into aiming at doing/becoming like certain personalities and doing what they did and living their life.

 

Now within this there’s also a point to consider how it is not only some evil cabal’s plan to complete their ‘great work’ and have all these stereotypes, morals, behaviors, ideas being imprinted in everyone’s minds through manufacturing culture and all of us believing that artistic manifestations were evidence of ‘man’s evolution’ – which in essence as such, evolution is just consciousness upgrading itself, which means there’s no real Self-Awareness in it, just new ‘trends’ that could be sold to people in an attempt to fulfill the constant desire to progress, to advance, to ‘become better’ – lol – not realizing we haven’t ‘evolved’ an iota from the moment of our creation, only the scenarios have changed and we have seen our ‘technology’ create the illusion that we have changed, but we haven’t, at all.

 So this is to understand that the history we have been taught in schools of course is taught by the winners, those that have created the wars and have perpetuated the idea of how a god would choose who the monarchs would be, and so forth – all of it which was usually ‘backed’ by the evidence of artistic creations used as another alibi to confirm certain theories of our evolution. But in reality, a lot of it has been transfixed in order to suit certain theories to, once again, advance certain notions of evolution, of real change and human refinement, simply to continue justifying what we have as ‘arts’ today which have mostly become part of the dumbification or downgrading of ourselves as individuals in order to promote carelessness, apathy, destruction, chaos, mental disorders, the destruction of any value or principle but only shock and disturb to such an extent that it becomes a ‘norm’ nowadays in what we call our entertainment, which is really entrainment.

Once we get to know of the actual history – through currently non-institutionalized sources of course – of how our culture has been engineered as a necessary tool of propaganda to back the ‘story’ of ‘how things are/how they have been’ and paving the way to ‘how things will be’ there is no doubt that we are continuing to lock ourselves in these ideals based on what we get/absorb from the media/environment around us, which is nothing else but the same mind patterns made ‘enjoyable’ just like junk food that one can get addicted to: it tastes good, you then crave for it but nevermind really getting to know about the lack of nutritional content.  In essence our culture has become the glorification and legitimization of ‘our human nature’ as ‘who we are as the mind,’ separated from reality into the fictional stories that we could spend our entire lifetime creating of ourselves as personalities, as ‘characters’ in our own ‘movie’ that we actually begun thinking we had to create as ‘our lives’ and ‘our relationships.’ It’s been very interesting to me to see my own brainwashing and how my own relationships, my own thoughts/ideas/fixations were all imprints that I took from music, music videos, books, TV shows and essentially immersing myself in a culture that I wanted to belong to at the time – American Culture – because of loathing ‘my own culture’ which is what I had then perceived as the low-life Mexican Culture and as such never realizing I was actually then going to be my own reference as to ‘who one becomes’ when continually watching American TV, which I did for the most part from age 7 till probably 15-16 or so.

 

DSC00371

 

CULTure is the perfect way to entrain ourselves into consciousness, ‘what everyone is thinking about’ and ‘what’s talked about’ which comes in the form of our news, TV shows, movies, music, etc. containing components as behaviors, personalities, thinking patterns, fashion, attitudes, morals, obsessions, addictions, etc. – all of it having ‘profitable’ purposes but goes beyond that and into the necessary role of providing the ‘circus for the masses’ to ensure that this time, the Holy Roman Empire does not fall for not giving enough bread and circus to the people. One only has to have a look around us and see that it’s easier to talk to someone about a TV show than politics or economics; it’s easier to strike a conversation with someone about a movie than it is to discuss our emotionally driven tendencies to buy products as way to compensate for some kind of ‘emotional need.’ Culture has always been the way to perpetuate a mindset, a way to legitimize ‘how life is lived’ and ‘how things are done,’ what is ‘cool’ and what is not, which essentially consolidates our usually used as an excuse to not change ‘human nature’ – culture is its own PR campaign that we are then taught in schools as part of our history and ‘ethics’ so that we are reminded that ‘there’s ALWAYS been someone at the top of the food chain, there’s ALWAYS been slaves that are disempowered, deal with it, try to always aim at the top and enjoy the show while it lasts.’

Currently if one cannot see the actual agendas for further depravity, lack – because they were never ‘lost’ of any living principles and the ‘Do as Thou Wilt’ mentality to give continuation to our ‘age old’ culture, one must be very, very brainwashed – not to worry though, it’s not too late yet. Nowadays sexual depravity is the ‘norm’ when it comes to the idea of ‘sexual liberation’ and female empowerment means stripping down in front of crowds and being praised by millions as some kind of ‘queen.’ Another example is how within our ingrained desire to ‘feel free’ the idea of ‘the rebel’ or the ‘anti-system’ became part of the social engineering process to always contain and control any form of actual break-through within individuals, which is the predictable way of acting if you see that something is ‘not right’ and your are being abused, you then aim and attempt to ‘break free’ from the oppressor by opposing, judging, antagonizing and denying it, revolting against it which are all the ‘anti’ movements that have become part of the systematic and predictable antithesis processes to actually Contain the people within such stance/roles and behaviors for which ‘the system’ as we have all co-created it was always ready to thrown back some ‘solution’/synthesis to further control. It’s just following what Lenin said in the lines of If you want to control the opposition, take the head of it, and you can see that all ‘leaders’ and role models in arts and so-called revolutionary people have been also part of perpetuating the same status quo, even if they were not aware of.

 

DSC01703

 

To prove this point in terms of realizing how our culture has not been one that supports life, I bet that you have most likely never seen a movie pointing out how life is not about participating in our own mind as thoughts, emotions or feelings… or becoming self-responsible, or empowering each other to become the actual directors of our lives, of how poverty could be eradicated if we all partake in political solutions – not just one lucky good-doer leader here and there – not at all, instead we create the opposite and as such, it becomes what occupies our mind at a conscious level, it’s what suits our ‘human nature’ which is that of blame, vengeance, victimization…  just look at V for Vendetta that became the brainwashing mechanism for everyone at Occupy Wall street believing they had some kind of ‘power’ to oust ‘the bankers’ while seeking revenge – lol, fascinating how MOVIES are in fact dictating how we even ‘revolt’ nowadays, isn’t it? Not to mention the masks that became part of protests since 2011 and specifically the ‘anonymous movement’ are copyrighted to Time Warner, thank you for your contribution to one of the five top corporations that run the media in this world – wink, wink. How have we accepted and allowed to become SO predictable and SO Brainwashed and still fall for it? Easy, the same culture has become the only ‘soup of thoughts’ we all swim in.

 

 

This is precisely WHY ‘going against the system’ is just becoming the predictable pattern within the foreseeable attempts to ‘break free’ from our minds which is just playing the role of becoming the dark pole to the white counterpart or ‘going in the opposite direction,’ confirming our ‘dialectic’ predictable mentality that was also part of what ‘great philosophers’ left on Earth…  it is really only giving a name to the mechanisms in which we operate in our own minds – no big discovery, only making visible what we already exist as in our polarity mind-constructs of good and bad, right and wrongs, positive and negatives caging ourselves into oblivion within Energy and the illusion of ‘breaking free’ – all of it being the ‘building blocks of the illusion’ that we can call culture formed by the massive distribution and repetition of ideologies, images, sounds = all created in and as the image and likeness of who we are as the mind and its mechanisms, hence the importance of knowing thyself and becoming Aware of what one thinks, what principles one lives by, how we created our personality, what are our goals in life and where did we take those ideals from? Why do we dress a particular way? Why do we like a particular set of movies? Why do we Feel differently toward things, people, places, music …. There are so many theories and attempts to debunk the origin of our culture and all I can remember from it is that as human history it ends up when ‘hitting a wall’ where no man has gone beyond – before 2006 – and attributing everything to god or a creator and as such, for example seeing the origin of art as having some kind of magical-religious purposes…. Oh yes, that means core programming for enslavement within the idea of ‘higher someone’ dictating everything we do and because we could not understand it, we came to draw it or paint it or sculpt it so that it would later on become our way to solidify the same plot of what we have come to accept and allow as ‘how things have always been,’ and even learned how to revere it as well! That is us at the dawn of our species, and that is still us at the time as well. No evolution has taken place whatsoever.

 

DSC01653

 

Coming back to my own case here, it’s cool and rather necessary for me to debunk what I see I had wanted to hold on to as some kind of belief in ‘human creativity spark’ or a bit of ‘romanticism’ when It comes to human expression and sure, the works and creations themselves can still be very well done, but it’s definitely not something ‘special’ or as an attempt to ‘break through’ some kind of programming – lol –  it’s rather the opposite. Once one starts seeing and understanding the ‘big picture’ and how these personalities or built-up stars play a role within the whole scheme and get to understand who paid them, for what purpose, within the context of which agenda, any remains of romanticism or ‘out of the box’ hopes upon artists just goes down to the drain as it should, because it was never ‘real’ anyways, it was never intended to honor and support life, so why praising something or someone that I personally only used to confirm my own existence as a mind consciousness system that absorbed all of this knowledge and information to further myself down my own mythological rabbit whole? It’s pointless.

To me this is a bit ‘late’ to realize in my process with such clarity, but better later than ever breaking through yet another ‘layer’ within the experiences, ideals and fascinations held within me as part of ‘my personality’ created in the image and likeness of the illusion; what I mean by ‘illusion’ are my experiences, my own responses toward certain artists, books, films, arts in general which means, how I FEEL and how I would See myself in relation to ‘what is of this world’ and what ‘suit’ I wore most of the time to be in it. I also see that I can apply this same realization to any other point or aspect in reality toward which I had held some ‘special value’ upon and instead see it  within self-awareness for what it physically is,  realizing that there’s no ‘grandeur’ in anything in this reality at the moment that I could genuinely ‘praise,’ because everything that we’ve ever done as humanity and our ‘culture’ specifically has been engineered within the context of our preprogrammed reality, of revering the mind and system that it is in our outside world – but never life which is what I actually ended up doing for myself: I found ‘my place’ in the world in a comfortable cage where – If I had continued down my ‘preprogrammed path’ – I could not at all have affected real change, because arts as I now see, in order to become really ‘famous’ and revered, you cannot genuinely destabilize the status quo, and so all the people I admired and I believed made some advancements really only landed themselves in jails or ended up as drug addicts, alcoholics, committed suicide or fell for the path of fame and glory as it is still apparently ‘too hard to refuse’ when you can sign a pact with the devil to get everything you want and ‘make it’ in this dog-eat-dog world. We have all become preys of our own emotions, feelings, desires and wants, yet we believe that that is the key to a fulfilling life, to ‘get it all’ when it is in fact that way in which we are imprisoning us all at the moment, disregarding the fact that if I take more for me, I am in fact leaving another without any.

This is a lengthy point to me as I chose to and wanted to become part of culture as a creator of it, so I chose to study a career dubbed as ‘creator of culture’ which is arts, visual arts and for the most part I’ve seen how ‘arts’ in general are being used as the circus to entertain, to further decay, to instill new ‘ideologies’ and ideas with which we most likely end up much worse that we already are doing in our overall human decay we’re living in. This too can be changed and I see this IS the point I can certainly do not only for myself, but for anyone else that’s realizing the same propaganda-role that art has taken throughout our known history of it.

 

So, this is not over yet, it’s only just begun. I would actually challenge and/or suggest to you reading this to look at which character either from a film or book, what artist you idolized or ‘wanted to emulate’ for some reason and why, what kind of ideology from a certain movie or series you could ‘identify’ with and decided to make it your own by becoming/acting/speaking/wanting to look like someone you saw on the TV, a film, a book character, an artist, etc. The more and more we start considering the seemingly subtle ways in which our behavior and what we claimed to be ‘our own personality’ has been influenced by the media and entertainment we participate on a constant basis, the more we will be able to realize to what extent we are STILL accepting and allowing the continuation of the problems in this world by realizing that our current culture is not one of self-support and honoring each other as life, as equals – but instead we are using it to perpetuate and upgrade our own alienation from the matters that should have always been part of our culture, which begins with self-awareness of who we are in ourselves as our mind and How we are contributing to the creation or destruction of our reality with the ways we act, speak, think within our lives and toward others.

 

This will continue …

 

DSC01821

 

Are you mind controlled? Test yourself here:


403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

To learn more about taking responsibility for one’s mind, one’s reactions, please visit the following sites and join us in our endeavor too:


402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

 

Facing the Evil of OUrselves

 

 

Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

 

Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

 

We do it to ourselves

 

Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

 

Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

abuse
1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.

 

I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

 

God won't save the queen now

 

 

Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

 

When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

 

In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

 

My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

 

I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

 

Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

 

In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

 

God Bless the Child

 

It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

 

I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

 

Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

 

I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

 

Supportive Material:

 

  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

 

 

 

 


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 14,920 other followers

%d bloggers like this: