Tag Archives: 2012

251. Does Hope Solve the Matters of the World?

“There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” – Rumi

We tend to hope and wait for something to miraculously fix that which we accepted and allowed to happen in the first place.

Statements like Rumi’s are empty words that mean nothing/hold nothing of substance, yet create the most ‘impact’ when it comes to our feeble self interest that exists as the aspect that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is the mind as consciousness.

We were looking at yesterday how we have defied the natural laws of the physical reality  by creating obnoxious hierarchical schemes that a series of bubbles would never follow through with, as any arrangement that represents a point of abuse cannot simply be sustained at a physical level.

bubble efficiency

 

  • Does HOPE exist or is it necessary as a ‘force’ to create this perfect physical demonstration of the inherent properties in which matter arranges itself when having to coexist with equals and working as One unit?
  • Is Love required in order for these bubbles to learn how to arrange themselves in the most perfect way of coexistence that does not even require an actual push by the creator of the bubbles for the matter to arrange themselves in a clear equal disposition in reality ?
  • Is Peace required for them to agree to coexist within the most stable form wherein all bubbles share an equal amount of space from the first bubble upon which the unit is being built upon?

 

The answer to all of the above is: No, and this is one single and plain demonstration of how no one had to speak any form of airy-fairy words to create such perfect arrangement of matter in front of our eyes. There is no Resistance stemming from the bubbles to do this – is this a godly force at hand then?*

What has happened with us human beings and words is that we have used them as energy, as consciousness instead of using words as a physical livable consideration of the best way in which we can in fact live as. This means that what we have become is the result of having neglected physical reality and followed only energy as either positive or negative experiences that in no way have a direct correlation to physical reality, but we have instead imposed such experiences onto the physical laws as a violation to this physical natural disposition, creating our current chaos/ inequality/ abuse and suffering just because of having ignored that principles we should all inherently direct ourselves as.

 

What does this mean?

 

The moment one react to statements like “There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” can only indicate that: You are existing only as a programmed mind to react with a self-defined positive experience to words that indicate ‘you have nothing to do, you just have to remain in your state of inertia’ wherein a future projection/ Imagination process must take place for you to envision this marvelous outcome after the ‘darkness’ which is what we are currently existing as according to this statement, which is precisely in reverse, I’d say. We are in the era of absolute enlightenment as the ultimate demonstration of ego in its full splendor that uses words like Hope, Love, Peace and Light, Faith, Bliss as a way to Ignore the physical laws that we have violated in the first place, leading us to what Rumi and many other light and love spiritual people consider ‘darkness’ as the ‘bad and the negative.’

 

Test that for yourself – make some bubbles as it is explained within the section of The Code episode of The sphere, bubbles and how nature’s economic laws function – now, speak to the bubbles the word HOPE and see if their arrangement changes to maybe some other marvelous arrangement of sorts, you can also try voicing love, light, peace, joy, happiness, bliss, light, whatever you consider might be ‘supportive’ for these bubbles to coexist. You can do the opposite then, speak darkness, bad, evil, madness, violence, guilt, remorse, shame and see if the bubbles change their arrangement.

What will happen most likely is that they wont’ change no matter how much good positive vibrations/ words you speak to them, their physical stability is not affected by human consciousness.

 

Now, if you do the same experiment with a human being, most likely the person will react to all such words in both a negative and a positive experience – their body will most certainly remain functioning, breathing, stable as a physical unit, but who they are as the mind might go into an array of energetic experiences that they might even follow through with further imaginations, pictures, judgments, reactions, internal conversations, fears and a plethora of mind-experiences that will eventually create an effect upon the physical body. And so, it would be very clear how we are the only ones that create an instability through our words accepted and allowed to exist only as Energy and participate in such experiences while disregarding the physicality, the constancy and consistency of breath as that certainty of who we really are.  It should be very clear with this how we are our own disease and we are our own cure.

 

The question is, why would we need ‘hope’ for things to get better if we can instead work on ourselves individually to understand which words are in fact livable, which words can be definitely actions that can be physically lived as humanity to be able to coexist in such a perfect arrangement like the bubbles above? The answer is: there is no need for hope, we have just created these words to protect self interest, because the reality is that we have not willed ourselves to coexist in such equality-arrangement as bubbles and acting as one single unit composed of various individualized expressions, all sharing equal parts of the main foundation which is the bubble in the center. This thus implies that we don’t really require hope or imagination or reactions of emotions and feelings to create a solution in this world and that the only obstacle is our own ego/ self interest/ desire to have ‘more’ of space while neglecting that such decisions lead to unbearable consequences, which is what we are living now in our world.

 

The solution is being shown by the bubbles themselves which are the same laws that nature in itself is also functioning as. The only external factor that has caused consequence is the human being of course, and not even who we are as physical beings as our physical bodies function within similar processes as any organic entity in this world – thus, it is only who we are as consciousness, as the energy system that has taken the wheel of our beingness in order to exist as the ultimate self interest experience wherein we have certainly Not ever questioned why it is that we have accepted some to have it all and some to have none and as such, create the most heinous imbalance in reality that has existed from the very beginning of our existence, we have just come to the pinnacle of it again and as such, we’re also existing in the most important times we’ll ever face in our current reality: the absolute possibility of Self-Correction and Self-Responsibility in order to align ourselves to a Best for All Outcome.

 

We are presenting the Equal Money System which is exemplified perfectly by the natural arrangement of the bubbles above. Each individual sharing, coexisting as equals with equal support and opportunity to live in the most optimal condition while coexisting in one single unit as a whole.

Many say nature is wise, but it is even wiser to actually learn from the physical laws that are existing as the arrangement that enables the sustainability and trust that we can have on the constancy and consistency that this physical reality represents, and actually implement it as the laws and regulations we can found our lives upon on Earth – who we are as the mind varies from second to second, from word to word spoken to another human being as the example I placed above – how could such flimsy self-experience could be the reality of ourselves? How could we be trust worthy with life if we dare to abuse the physical in the name of an energetic positive or negative experience? We simply can’t.

 

The Equality System also represents a physical preventive set of regulations that will ensure no need for hope or faith is ever looked for again within humans, it is quite obvious that such words stem after the ‘boat has sunk’ and as such, represent an illusory correction to a problem that could have been prevented in the first place. There is absolutely no point in indulging in words that represent a nothingness, an insubstantiality that cannot be physically lived but instead, we can simply erase Hope from our vocabulary and turn it into a disposition and willingness to coexist as equals, without any resistance, without any fear as those points can only exist within the who we are as the ego of the mind, as consciousness.

 

Bubbles of self interest floating around just fall and disappear – bubbles that stick together become more resistant as they are sharing their beingness to create a more stable structure, even if of course eventually all bubbles will be burst, just like ourselves having a defined lifetime wherein the last question that I’ll leave here is the following:

 

It’s clear that all of that which is not directly linked to and supporting what is Real as the physical reality will have to be eliminated, the same as any word that is simply not supporting the expression of who we really are but instead have become the very shackles we have accepted and allowed as a way to remain idle, waiting and hoping for something to resolve the Matters at Hand.

*“If you cannot ‘drive’ the ‘Matter-within’ which is the ‘Matter’ of what is ‘Important’ for ‘Everyone’, the ‘Matter of Equality’ -How can you ‘expect’ ‘Equality’ – to ‘Support-You?’

 

If you are not ‘willing’ to ‘give-up’, that which is ‘causing’ the ‘Problem’ in ‘Matter’, in ‘Space-Time’. In the ‘Physical-Reality’, which is an ‘Unequal Money System’. An ‘System’ that ‘do-not give’, to ‘each-one’ a ‘Support Structure’ to make the ‘most’ of ‘this Life’, in the ‘Physical’ – If one do-not take that-on, and Stop that – Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Matter’ ‘about-You’? Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Care’ ‘about-You’? Because that which you could ‘do-something-about’, you did not… ‘Matter’ to ‘you.’ It didn’t ‘Matter’. It wasn’t…“I don’t..It doesn’t ‘Matter’, I mean. I… ‘See’ if I ‘Care’. Why should-it ‘Matter’ to ‘Me’? I mean, ‘My Life’ is ‘Fine’. I’m ‘Happy’. I mean, I’ve ‘Worked Hard’ to be ‘Happy’! ”

 

Really? Yes, your ‘Genetics’ fell by a ‘luck-shot’ in a ‘place’ where you have ‘Money’. You’re in a ‘Casino’. Now you’re a ‘little-picture’ walking around Here – is ‘Happy’. With a ‘Smile’. Is that ‘really’ the ‘Case’? It’s Not. ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Expose’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’? ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Make-Sure? Because, unless one take this ‘Matter’ to it’s ‘Conclusion’, there is a ‘Problem’, isn’t it?

 

You have ‘no-option’ but to take this ‘Matter’ to ‘Conclusion’. To ‘bring-about’ a ‘Directive Structure’ within ‘Matter’ that ‘Matters‘, for ‘Everyone’. And that put ‘Matters‘ in this Reality, in such a way, that ‘Everyone Matters‘ – Equally. That should be the ‘only-thing’ that ‘Matters‘, until it’s ‘Done’. Nothing else is ‘really’ ‘of-any-matter’, is it? Everything else that ‘takes’ one’s ‘attention-away’ from this ‘Matter’ = is ‘Deliberate Deception’. One should ‘treat-it’ as-’such’. ‘Focused’ on a ‘Solution’, in-’Matter’, about ‘things’ that ‘Matter’, to ‘all Parts of Life’, ‘Every Being’, ‘Here’.

Once this ‘Matter’ is taken-care-of, we will have a Reality where things ‘Matter’. That will be ‘quite nice’, isn’t it?

 

So – Let’s ‘sort-out’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’.

- Bernard Poolman – May 24th,  2010

 

Would you want to remain only as a lonely bubble drifting around with no direction or cause, or would you want to be a bubble that instead joins other bubbles to create a stable and consistent environment that is for sure a more enjoyable way of living as one and in equality?

If you opt for the second choice, join us at

 

Vlogs:

 

Blogs:

 

 

 

Interviews to Understand the Physical Matters in this world and how to walk through a Self Corrective process to ensure we Never again recreate the use of hope but instead live as a constant solution to this reality.


248. Are you Depressed about the End of the World?

What comes after we become aware of the current state of this accepted and allowed levels of destruction, annihilation and death everywhere as an outflow/ consequence of our accepted and allowed lifestyle? Self-Experience of all of which I have walked throughout these past blogs: helplessness, worry, dismay, concern, preoccupation, sadness, suicidal thoughts, wanting to ‘give up’ whatever we are doing, hoping to just die and end our experience here, hoping to end suffering through praying/ wishing/ chanting for change?

 

Continuing from:

 

I was washing the dishes this morning and on the radio comes ‘Give Peace a Chance’ and one is for a moment embraced by this ‘heart-felt song’ that reminded me of the entire documentary that John Lennon and Yoko Ono made in relation to their days in bed in a Hotel in Montreal, wherein they made this ‘pacific statement’ of make love not war – and the moment shows how people were gathered in that hotel room chanting and getting all emotional with their nice vibes and intention to ‘give peace a chance,’ lol. I mean yes, one can understand that coming from any of us that has never experienced what being a ‘casualty of war’ implies or being directly sent to ‘fight a war,’ creating a nice positive experience as a way to prevent it might seem like an adequate thing to do – but did anything change from any peace and love moment? No, if only it only lead to further dissociation of reality through the use of drugs as a temporary ‘ailment’ to ‘cope with reality’ that has become more like a worldwide crisis when it comes to seeing how many people are on drugs – either on a legal/prescribed or illegal manner . Now that we see and realize that what’s ahead within our human lives is not going to be nice or pretty, I’m sure that many might be going through the stages of planning/ plotting a ‘way out’ of the Earthly scene.

 

I want to share here just a single consideration, which is why suicide/ giving up was a discarded point for most of us that would get initially overwhelmed with the realization of who we are/ what we’ve done/ what we’ve become and simply thinking that it is just Too Much!

 

When I began reading/ hearing  Desteni, it also implied getting on a daily basis a lot of videos from all types of documentaries that would show/ reveal the abuse in this world. I at first had to ‘play strong’ and watch them all – this included of course basic education on how the monetary system worked and some basic conspiracy theories to learn how to discern reality over schizo-media frenzy. Of course I wasn’t used to being Aware of the reality of this world, as I had spent those last years focusing on reading about religions, spirituality, the occult and everything that seemed like a ‘nice thing’ to divert my attention from reality with, I was living in Hope I can say, definitely.

So, when reality hit the door along with Desteni, I went into an emotional turmoil wherein I spent almost one whole day manipulating myself with thoughts and crying because it was apparently just ‘too much.’ Was I in fact in such actions being responsible in any way or was I only focusing again on MY Experience only? Of course the latter is the correct point. It was a non stop point and I was travelling so I made a show of myself weeping throughout the whole trip from the moment I left home and went to my home city, it was endless drama – of course also then my family started saying I should ‘stop seeing all of that’ just because of how I made an experience out of becoming aware of the absolute destruction we’re imposing on Earth.

 

I recall that moment as a manipulation point because I got to be aware how ‘feeling bad’ for the things that go on in this world is only again going into a Mind-Emotional experience that serves no other purpose but as another distraction from what is HERE and what I have to actually focus on, which is stopping participating in my emotional and feeling outbursts that were actually created out of me Thinking about destruction, Thinking about depleting the forests, Thinking about Animal Abuse, Thinking about all the filthy corruption that is governing our countries, Thinking about the gigantic plaster in the ocean, Thinking about all the species that are going extinct every single day as a direct effect of our consuming-producing civilization. Did me Thinking and crying about this made any difference? No. And I certainly recall going past the mountains in the bus and just bursting out crying again, lol, it seriously was a tear-jerking mind possession, I have no other words for that and after I cross referenced it back then I realized that I had made only a Show of myself, and manipulated me into ‘Feeling Bad’ about the destruction in the world, going again into hopelessness/ helplessness, wanting to just ‘give it all up’ and seeing no future.

 

What’s interesting now is that even if I am and continue to be aware of the destruction, depletion going on in this world, I realize and have integrated within myself that generating any form of experience is truly only In My Mind and that it is only Self Interest to do that – Anu explains it flawlessly here:

Reptilians – Am I Real – Part 37

Now, I invite you to check out our constantly updated Facebook Group wherein all of the reality-show of this Earth is being presented through the latest Human Endeavors – now, how could I just ‘cry’ upon that, seriously, if everything we’re doing within this world is based on absolute self interest wherein anyone creating an Experience about the state of the world would be the definition of hypocrisy, really.  (For further understanding on this word, please read:  Day 39: Hypocrisy

 

Link to Facebook Group here:

Capitalism vs. Equal Money

 

Once you’ve read through the posts you’ll be in tune to follow through with this blog wherein   we’ll keep walking the self forgiveness on this self-experience in relation to How we are destroying the world, the animals, all living species and still dare to become emotional about it, feeling sorry for ourselves as humanity, feeling depressed/sad/anxious which will certainly not stop the oil from being pumped into your car, will not stop children from being raped, murder, sold, abused for profit and deviant pleasures, will not stop animals from being sold, tortured, used and abused for any form of profit, as well as for mass consumption to supply our ‘genius’ fast food lifestyle, will not stop the air from being polluted in faster than sound-like lifestyle that is fueled by oil all around, will not stop the slaves building our gadgets from having to work illegal amount of hours under pressure or even committing suicide as a way out of their personal hell won’t stop mothers from having to abandon their children for not having food to feed their newborn, will not stop a person from opting to go to war as a means to save their families/ get some money from such a mindless job, won’t stop people from consuming precious items that come from the most heinous ways of abuse upon life, won’t stop people from shooting themselves up with drugs or bullets to ‘escape reality’ as that would be quite similar to us becoming emotional and feeling hopeless and powerless to do anything about this world.

 

See the point?

For a moment I suggest you look at the information that’s being presented through the news, see if any reaction comes up and Self Forgive it, for example if you react to watching the documentary in an emotional way, you can apply the following self forgiveness:

Garbage Island: An Ocean Full of Plastic (Part 1/3)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel absolutely worried and anxious about the plaster of plastic on the ocean and feeling helpless about me being able to do anything to stop/ solve the problem, without realizing that me being/ becoming sad about the manifested consequences of our current ‘lifestyles’ is not going to solve the problem, nor will it enable use to be empowered to fix the problem – thus, I breathe and stabilize myself to rather continue informing about what is going on in this world, investigating how I am directly involved and responsible for the current situation in our world and How I can become part of the solution.

I commit myself to stop living only as a victim of our reality and instead, stand as a self responsible being that is willing to face the consequences we’ve all manifested in our reality as a consequential outflow of our current lifestyles and consuming conditions and within this to realize that I am part of the solution through directing myself to take responsibility for myself, my mind and my reality.

 

Visit Equal Money System wherein a recent goal has been added that reads the following:

Goal: Stewardship

Within an Equal Money system it will be recognized that Humans are a part of the Ecosystem they live in. The word ‘eco’ stands for ‘home’ – and thus, each human will be responsible for maintaining the Balance and Harmony within their home, within their Ecosystem. This involves the Monitoring of the Well-Being of the Plants and Animals within one’s Environment and to Intervene when Disharmony occurs as a result of Human Impact, so that a new Equilibrium can be established.

source: http://equalmoney.org/goals/16-stewardship

 

If anything, one should seriously have the courage to listen to what Animals have to say about ourselves as species, it is the most humbling walk through what we’ve become and within that, we might get a bit over ourselves and focus on the reality of the things as the actual process that must be walked to realize to what extent we have separated ourselves from what is HERE and what is REAL and certainly what we are missing out while living in such conflictive ways between our mind and physicals while waiting/ hoping/ dreaming about the world to end or suddenly be renewed. Rather stick to reality and what is actually here as a result of our negligence – give yourself a Self Awareness Gift to enjoy these ‘numb’ days where everything seems to be about giving further products with no other purpose than continuing the same capitalistic mechanisms of consuming-being happy –repeat again, rather support Life:

 

I got no particular suggestion, rather pick an animal that you like and hear what he/she/it’s got to say, all are equally ‘enlightening’ to see what we’ve become, what we neglect and how we can fix the problem  for sure.

 

Now, that is what we can all begin applying already, becoming aware of how Money has being a factor that has lead us to neglect the basic balance/ harmony between humans and the Ecosystem, that implies all living beings in it.

 

Within this, we can see that there is actually a lot to do other than giving up and throwing ourselves out of the window – so to speak. There is no point in wallowing since we will have to get up/ stand up anyways, and even at death, there is no way out since the process that we are going through is existential and no one is truly ‘out’ of this in any way – if any, process in the afterlife is most consequential as many beings have been able to attest in the Life Reviews at Eqafe and here a real nice wake up call I suggest you give to yourself after reading this blog and realizing that you in fact got all the potential to become part of the solution:

 

Further support:

Desteni Forum

Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

 

Blogs:

 

Must Hear Interviews – along with the Animal Reviews -


247. Blindly Following Our Progress

Doomsday is a novelty joke to evade the consequences of our thoughts, words and deeds of having disregarded the laws of nature and the physical in our reality in the name of following through with our mind-driven desires, all based on energy which implies the abuse of the physical for the sake of feeling just Fine.

What’s the fine line between progress and devolution? The neglect in which we have built this marvelous see-evil-I-zation wherein we have focused on the ‘I’ only of self interest, following our success, no matter ‘what’ has to be destroyed and potentially damaged for the rest of the Earth’s existence just to have a moment of bliss and ideal of progress disregarding the shit hitting the fan while smiling at the beautiful scenes of what progress implies.

Cities like Dubai are the perfect example of what human beings as gods disregarding the ‘forces of nature’ imply: creating this great buildings at the expense of the most horrid living conditions that any worker on Earth is currently having to go through just to make a living. The same goes for all the people that confections our clothes, build our gadgets, grow and reap our food which is essentially the extraction and transformation industries that get to do the most work at the expense of slave labor. The ‘retail’ industry is the one that benefits through us buying brands, lifestyles, experiences that we have tagged as our ‘successful living’ while neglecting everything that had to be destroyed for that single ‘lifestyle’ to be now something that is Normal to ourselves.

Read Matti Freeman’s Day 152: Slaves of Dubai – Exposing the Darkness behind the Glittering Lights of Progress for further context.

 

Continuing from:

 

We’ve come to the point where we would rather expect some 3 days of darkness to happen or some planetary alignment and suddenly have a renewed world all of a sudden. Seriously, is there any  trace of sanity in such beliefs? No – and this world-system is proof of how we have all been inherently insane to keep blindly participating in this world system wherein Nothing is projected to be sustainable in a long term basis.

I was watching Gian’s video on Hope – which I obviously suggest you watch as well – and realized that it is true, we are born with a certain belief/idea of ‘this is how things always have been and there’s no change in how things work’ – and in this ‘this is how things work’ is the doom of our race, because in such acceptance we have only gone either of the two following ways:

1. Waiting for the world to end/ be destroyed = doomsday character.

2. Waiting for something marvelous to happen that will wash away all the destruction and will wipe out all our atrocities in a blink of an eye = ascension/ transformation of consciousness character.

 

Both are equally fucked, to say the least, since we can read WAITING which is just precisely HOPING for something to happen. In both scenarios we either drive ourselves to a Negative Self Experience – which is what I have described in the past posts – or we drive ourselves to a Positive Self Experience, which is all your ascension/2012 transformation of consciousness type of messages. It is funny to recall the last book I read on the Mayan Calendar subject, right before Desteni – well in fact the day I finished the book I encountered Desteni – where Dr. Calleman said that by November 2012, everyone would be enlightened – I would quote the page of the 2012 Transformation of Consciousness book he wrote, but gave it away within the realization that I had just indulged in quite an extensive amount of unfounded statement. Wow, really wow.  If enlightenment means being ready to continue using and abusing the Earth by our every single move in everything we think say and do then by all means, we are full of light and will soon burst into flames if we don’t stop.

 

What I realize is that beyond me having gone into the negative experience about the world and feeling all sad/ depressed that ‘this world is shit,’ is really only the exact same as thinking positive and waiting for something Great to come, because in self-doomification I am doing exactly the same thing: Only waiting for an End while precisely only living to die and doing absolutely Nothing to stop the current ways in which our society has been made ‘acceptable,’ which is accepting and allowing self-abuse in all ways.

 

Now, the problem is not the Earth of course or the ecosystem and all the living beings beside the human being, that was perfect in its natural equilibrium; it is our force as human nature of actual Evil that has disregarded the physical forces we are subject to. That’s what playing God in essence has been about: believing we could somehow implement our jolly civilizations of multiple advancements without a single point of concern on ‘what’s next’ you know? Because there is a very important factor that we have ALL Participated in: We Trusted in those that have come before us to only give ‘permission’ – accept and allow – to implement what is currently running here as a living-condition that should be beneficial for all. But is it so? Of course not, not at all since all decisions made have been based upon Energy, which in this world system means Money/ Profit being the directive principle of the route we have followed through as humanity. And as all decisions made/founded upon energy: there is a massive disregard for its sustainability in the long run, and this goes from relationships that we found upon this energetic positive experience to making our living decisions of what career to study, what to ‘invest upon’ only within the same scheme of what we have currently valued as ‘More’ than life itself.

 

When I was a child, I developed this ‘ecological awareness’ in a very limited way, but it was ‘something’ and I remember being 7-8 years old and from that time and on, every time that  I flushed the toilet I would ‘feel bad’ for the water that will have to go with all the rest of the world’s toilet water and polluting the Earth. Whenever I would take a shower I would literally imagine how many more were showering around the world as well, how many were spending too much water in their showering while I was ensuring I would spend the least – I worried about things like littering on the streets and the smog produced by all the cars in the city – and I would become rather depressed whenever I would get to go to another country or see pictures of another’s travels throughout Europe for example, and be marveled at the cleanliness and order that those cities/places were in, it all seemed ‘to good to be true,’ which is another outflow and consequence of us regarding such advancements as something genuinely positive to follow and desire. I only created a loathing for my country and the people here, so I went into an absolute abhorrent state because in my mind ‘no one cared’.’  And again, going into a ‘powerlessness’ and ‘hopelessness’ because no matter how much I tried to make an effort to ‘do something,’ obviously it was futile, because I wasn’t really looking at or aware of the greater picture of how things work in this reality.

 

Throughout the years, it was like swimming against the tide all the time, everyone just wanted me to relax a bit about all the things I would constantly worry about – all that which I called ‘pollution’ yet never really saw how everyone’s – including my own-  every single move contributes to this ‘pollution,’ no matter what we do in this current society. So, this is part of a personality that I became until I simply opted for the ‘fly away’ type of personality wherein I would shove aside my constant awareness on dirt/ pollution/ contamination/ civil carelessness for the environment and blamed this country and its people for it, never really understanding the magnitude of the problem at a global scale of which this idea of progress was mostly the direct source of, and how it was because of the ‘improvements’ that people in the first world were developing as the ‘ultimate civilizations’ that we were in fact following through with this abuse, without the necessary education on how to DEAL with everything we would get now from such first world countries and simply started copying it, using it,  without any further regard, which became a problem because we simply followed through with the ‘advancements’ without really pondering: hmm, if I buy a v.8 vehicle yes I’ll have a shitload of HP and luxuries, but is this sustainable?

And so, our living standard instead of focusing on creating sustainable conditions for transportation became the ultimate presentation of an actual mock to any regard for the resources required to run a v.8 vehicle, because all that we really cared for is showing off our ability to pay for such amount of gas, taxes and maintenance as an indication of elevating our power of acquisition through buying that which could SHOW to others that we are ‘making it in the system.’ This is what our success have become.

 

“A Successful Failure, is when Failure is taken Personally – and the Purpose of Failure is not Grasped. Because Failure, has been Changed into the Illusion of Energy and is Experienced as some form of ‘Feeling’.
Failure, when Grasped – is the Map and the Road to Self-Perfection.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

The example I give is quite a tangible one, since also in my home city there’s Volkswagen and all the German people worked there and had this thing for cars, which I then became used to the idea of one has to have this latest-model of car and dispose the older ones because: you always get improvements. This is a single example of how we Always buy into the idea (social conditioning) of having the latest and most recent upgrade of everything as a sign of success – see for yourself how only the nice bright idea of power is looked at, but have no regard at the actual need for an upgrade and what happens with all the cars that are disposed, what are the current productions settings that have created our brand new car, the gas requirements, labor that has been put into it, how has it been paid for – none of that is of our concern, we feel like royals just having the ability to buy it and ride it and disregard everything else. And yes, it feels GREAT but I bet it won’t feel that great when there’s no freaking gas to pump into such v.8 vehicles, where already decisions are being made between eating or pumping gas into your car, as a matter of fact and consequence of disregarding basic common sense equations in which life should run upon.

 

Now we get the point of success being a blatant ignorant self-abuse, you see?

 

And then, when the shit hits the fan as it is happening now, we would rather follow through either of the above mentioned 2 options, instead of actually placing our hands on the problems and become aware of the series of steps that we have followed through until it’s become this chain-massacre of points that we accepted and allowed to end up in this blind-line of production and consumption that is disregarding and neglecting the primer matter of which everything is formed.

Please read an Economist’s Journey to Life for further  details

 

I had to just go and clean the fridge from all the food that my house mates have just ‘left’ and realized how just because we have the money to buy, we simply buy-buy-buy and don’t even think about what we are in fact going to in fact use. I can absolutely say that the waste of food I have created for the most part has been the one I have processed in my own physical body and dumped on the toilette, but I absolutely measure the amount of food I will in fact eat – and if some vegetables go rot, it’s a minimal quantity that I can place as compost for the tree and that’s it. And when confronting anyone about such blind-consumption, we only face the point of: Oh but ‘I’ bought it, so it’s ‘my’ stuff as a given right to abuse. The same we do with everything that we consume that we know it’s not beneficial, like people taking drugs and believing that it is only THEM that they are fucking up, not anyone else – which means that we disregard the basic fact that Everything we do, act and speak is linked through a collective process of coexisting in the same world, this means: there are no ‘isolated forces’ that will not have an effect and consequence on this reality, we’re all equally contributing to them.

 

And once again, what do we do? If you ask any regular person, everyone’s just hoping things will just go ‘mildly wrong’ in our lifetime as it’s being predicted everywhere, we just hope to ‘make it through,’ die and leave the future generations with the most heavy load of destruction to deal with. This is the statement we are living by every day that goes through without placing and becoming a solution to this world.

 

What is this whole ‘evolution’ based on, what is our progress based on? Abuse of the Earth to make things bigger, faster, greater, more efficient, more astounding and creating within ourselves this fantabulous self-experiences of this being a ‘marvelous world/ our creation,’ but we rarely or never even look at all the processes behind everything that we consume – and for that, we are ALL equally responsible.

 

And this is one of the points that listening to the See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil – Life Review which really walks us through what we’ve become without a doubt in this world, and also a great way to gift to another a piece of audio-awareness that can be an eye opener for this ‘holiday season’ when all our “Love” is DEMON-strated through buying/ consuming and giving each others stuff that we have no idea how it’s been created.

 

So, where does our responsibility reside on? Having accepted and allowed the current lifestyles we’re living as ‘the way things are’ which is what Anu also explains is something that should be really questioned at all times, as that implies the inertia that we’ve moved ourselves within: how things are/ it’s always been this way wherein we automatically infer = then it is fine, then it is okay, then there is no harm or potential life-threat within this, because it’s been running for 50 years. Well, it’s certainly ONLY 50 years that’s taken us to massively upscale our current abuse on Earth and we call this progress.

And we expect doomsday? Lol that would certainly be a ‘gift’ if any god existed, we won’t get rid of any consequence any time soon unless we actually take responsibility for it, face it and fix it.

 

“Without Failure – Self-Perfection is Impossible.
Without Failure – Birthing Harmony on Earth is Impossible.
Without Failure – Perfecting Individualization is Impossible.
Without Failure – Enlightenment Perfection is Impossible.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

To be continued, for sure.

 

 

Red Fears

 

Vlogs:

 

Interviews at Eqafe 

 
    Blogs:

    243. The Sublime and the End of the World

    While listening to the Doomsday Activist Life Review, I realized that I had precisely gone for the exhilaration and experience of having a certain moment wherein ‘something’ had to happen in this world  as an ultimate doomsday scenario/ Armageddon type of event, because there were just ‘too many points converging into the same day’ that it was almost undeniable that something would happen, but what? I actually thought for a moment that consciousness would cease to exist that day  – lol – and before Desteni, I thought it was time for a major catastrophe that I simply ‘dreamed of.’

     

    “So, it’s interesting that, it has never been Questioned: “Why are there so many different, varying “One’s” and each One believe itself to be “the Right One.” I mean, all the different Prophecies/Predictions cannot ‘materialize’ Simultaneously…with some believing in Ascension, others Jesus coming, others The End of the World by a physical/natural Occurrence and all the different Prophecies/Predictions are aligned with a particular Spirituality/Religion/Movement/Science and each one of those believe themselves to be “the Real Deal”. That, within this – human beings have not seen, realised and understood what all these “the One’s / Chosen One’s” have in common: they abdicate All Responsibility of Individual Human Beings to/as what ‘life on earth’ is/has become, and facilitate more as a distraction and preoccupation from/of Self-Responsibility, Life Responsibility to/as this Physical Existence.” – Sunette Spies *

     

    To understand this point better and how I made of ‘The End of the World’  ‘my theme’ and favorite topic is looking also at some of the artwork that I made, which was mostly doomsday-like which I explain here  2008 Paintings portraying slavery of system and can be reviewed at the top of this blog in the Artwork section.

     

    Even after a while I kept doing the same thing, doing series of different characters that would end up being part of this depiction of the end of the world, which reveals how much I was truly expecting it, desiring it, making it a recurrent topic and driving-force to be ‘creative’ just because I would get a kick out of it. This is what I could Identify as Sublime after reading Heaven’s Journey To Life blog that I will quote later on.

     

    According to Schopenhauer and the ‘types of sublime’ I will be looking at are:

    • Sublime – Turbulent Nature. (Pleasure from perceiving objects that threaten to hurt or destroy observer).
    • Full Feeling of Sublime – Overpowering turbulent Nature. (Pleasure from beholding very violent, destructive objects).

     

    According to E. Burke: “With his Philosophical Enquiry into the Origin of our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful (1757) Edmund Burke defined canonically its aesthetical prominence as the satisfaction arising from the removal of an imminent threat.” – Wiki Entry on Sublime

     

    Last Man on Earth

    Last Man on Earth 2009

     

    I’ll place one ‘static example.’ This is the last man on Earth. And I would usually depict people having One eye closed, probably depicting that we have always deliberately ‘played blind’ to not see what we are doing to each other and this world, and this man as the last man on Earth turned eventually one-side blind as a result of having neglected reality. It also expresses the shame and regret about what we’ve done. His appearance is deliberately depicting our self consumption when living for the ideals of the ‘who we are’ in the mind– his clothes denote a battered ‘elitist lifestyle’ that has gone through trials and tribulations, some sort of survival point upon the death of the rest of humanity and animas. He’s standing upon a thousand words yet he seems to have nothing to say but his heart is beating and his lungs seem in a good state – he is alive. His hands have turned into the symbol that depicts life, he might be able to start from scratch to create a new world that supports life in Equality, if he can forgive himself past all the regret.

     

    Continuing from:

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ‘end of the world scenarios’ as a source of excitement and exhilaration due to the actual fear that I would have with regards to witnessing an ‘end of the world’ scenario, without actually taking into consideration what such ‘end’ would mean and how it is that we would be in essence drawing ourselves back to zero and actually miss out the opportunity to use what is already here as this world and simply give it direction within a new consideration, a new path which is Life in Equality,  and within this: there is no need to destroy/ obliterate the world, but we can simply agree to slowly but surely go stopping our current ways in which we are existing as world-system and civilization and consider new ways of living wherein we can start regarding the environment/ the ecosystem as an actual living being equal and one to ourselves, and within that, establish solutions so that we stop the mass extinction, abuse and exploitation of life in the name of our personal benefits as ‘progress’ and ‘evolution’ that is only the result of us disregarding life and using it to power up our mind-realities of what ‘advancements’ are supposed to be like, disregarding the fact that the life of human beings, animals, plants is not taken into consideration when only using what is here in the name of power/ success/ evolution that is in fact only the evolution of the mind, not life quality. This also implies that I only used this ‘hype’ to tag along and generate an entire personality based on this ‘death and destruction’ ideals, simply because it is so much easier to hope for the end of the world than actually doing something to sort it out and create a new start for all.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice and get excited about a possible ‘something’ happening in 2012 in order to wake up humanity, and expecting some form of cloudy messy doomsday on a particular date, without realizing that within such waiting it is only a distraction and entertainment to not look at the reality that is already here and pretty much existing  in a doomsday scenario, wherein the billions that have no support from the system to live in dignity live a doomsday on a daily basis – within this (Watch ‘In Heaven everything is fine’ video below.)

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to romanticize this ‘end of the world’ for my own entertainment and ‘delight’ as that expectation and getting a kick out of participating in imagination as all sorts of pictures and end of the world scenes that I would simply dedicate myself to paint, because I wanted to in one way or another be able to ‘predict’ what would happen and as such, also depict myself as one of the last standing on Earth, being a ‘chosen one’ which is the actual desire that I had and wanted to fulfill as a self-prophecy that I wanted to witness, no different to me being expecting a certain ‘event’ such as a concert or a trip and generating the same amount of expectation and excitement about it, which proves to what extent I actually disregarded what such pain and suffering really Is and only made images about it for the sake of propelling my own fascinations as the actual fear that I had toward witnessing some form of ultimate destruction on Earth – which is what I will have to go through as what I in fact experienced. Sublime experience.

     

    Now, I suggest reading HOPE – The Metaphysical Carrot: DAY 237

    and specifically HOPE – the Metaphysical Carrot (Part 3): DAY 239 

     

    I left a comment there with the following realization:

    Concepts like the ‘sublime’ have become clear through reading this, which is something I would link to 2012 in the past, all of this from the branch within philosophy and aesthetics of an image/painting that would cause you this ‘sublime experience’ as an actual fear turned into a point of attraction/ rejoice – which is also what Mykey explained in #9 Demons in the Afterlife Interview – all makes sense now.

    Here I share some on this point from the Wiki entry on sublime:

    “Burke’s treatise is also notable for focusing on the physiological effects of the sublime, in particular the dual emotional quality of fear and attraction noted by other writers. Burke described the sensation attributed to the sublime as a “negative pain” which he called delight, and which is distinct from positive pleasure. Delight is taken to result from the removal of pain (caused by confronting the sublime object) and is supposedly more intense than positive pleasure.”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublime_(philosophy)

    So essentially, same mechanism of ‘hope’ but sublime is more focused even more so just on the energetic experience in itself, without any form of ‘change’ but plain delight/ pleasure and all of that which is caused when looking at terror from afar. What a great mindfuckistic reality we have created. It is definitely time to stop.

     

    I cannot say anything else but, this is an entire energetic experience that I had been quite keen on, the point of turning a fear into a fascination and the ‘end of the world’ is one of the fascinations I cultivated ever since I was probably a 5 years old or so when I wanted to be alien abducted with my dad, lol which is precisely what I describe in that video, later on fueled by songs like ‘Spaceman’ by Babylon Zoo – lol. Now, I am reviewing this just to see to what extent we can turn fears into fascinations and even more so, making it a point of pleasure/ excitement/ exhilaration and entertainment/distraction for MY personal experience, MY satisfaction, MY own delight, MY inspiration, depressions and general lack of desire to live, simply because of being subsumed in this ‘I want it all to end’ type of self-experience, just an absolute victimization that has permeated my being till this very day, as I see that any form of ‘lack of drive’ is just because I am not feeding anymore my usual energetic experiences that I had linked to a constant ‘looking forward’ to the future, but instead, the hereness that I am integrating myself as is experienced as a junky going on rehab, that’s what is ‘tough’ about this process and this is but one aspect of what I will be ‘withdrawing’ from.

     

    Even the music that I listened to like Godspeed You Black Emperor – my favorite band within the schemes of my last ‘music junky’ fanatic phase –  I could define as this type of ‘Sublime’ / End of the world experience- you can read their story here for the first time told by themselves, since they are the type of people that would rather not speak at all but ‘let their music speak’ and have a look at the type of mentality I was absolutely drawn to, which became my inspiration on a daily basis within my life some 6 years ago.  I’ll leave a couple of videos I made with their music at the end of this blog.

     

    When placing all of this little world of my own fascinations into perspective of the actual reality that is going on, I see that I am still drawn to this ‘romantic’ side of reality instead of focusing on the actuality of what is here and focusing not on cultivating further experiences I might get from music or arts in this doomsday-everything is fucked-vein for that matter, but focusing on actual reality considerations that I can educate myself on in order to stop any form of personal-endeavors to cultivate my fascinations instead of taking Self Responsibility for what is here.

     

    So I’ll be walking this ‘branch’ of my artistic personality related to the sublime specifically and end of the world/lack of desire to live in blogs to come. This is what happens when a single character such as the ‘tormented artist’ in reality justifies absolute irresponsibility that becomes a morbid fascination and delight and see it as ‘okay’ it is an aesthetic category, it’s okay to cultivate it. Good for you, little artist.

     

    Must Read Blogs:
     

    Interviews:

     

    My End of the World video creations:


    217. You Fear Communism? Why would That Be?

    The Nature of the Happy Nation

    It’s interesting to see how the moment that Equality is linked to being ‘one more of the heap’ and the opposite to being special, unique, outstanding, original, genuine, one of a kind human being – which is the type of brainwashing used during the last half of the 20th Century – Equality became linked to the then ‘Devil’ that functioned through/as what was considered the opposite back then, which was Communism.  The basic equation that must be read here is not along the lines of USA vs. USSR – but a Living Right that should be given to all beings by virtue of being on this Earth being Sold and Bought instead of readily given, and the example of that can be found anywhere in our current society wherein one could be close to dying in a hospital and, if you have no funds = there will be no support given to you, sorry.

     

    This is what we’ve accepted and allowed when it was agreed that life should be sold/ commercialized and even more so, stratified to a series of values that only a Few can actually obtain without any hassle. What about the rest? Oh well, you got your jobs and slave labor, ‘do your best’ and waddle your way through the staircase to success/heaven, never pondering the abuse that was taking place in such ‘heavens’ like actual vampires sucking out the life blood of the rest of the people that are, till this day, being suck dry to dead for not having enough money, even though their sweat and tears are shed every single day for all the worry and concern and desperation of not having the ability to feed children. What about those in warzone today? Can we even imagine the haunting experience of being ready to die in any given moment?

     

    Guess what? This reality is not separate from ourselves, at some level we are all aware of everything that is going on here. That’s why no matter how much money you have you are still Owned by it, you still fear to lose it all. And there might be those that don’t really fear at all, however it is not like there is a way to escape consequence, not anymore – father heaven is no longer running the scene (Read the entry to Heaven in the Destonian wiki)

     

    Democracy became then a consumer-like sellable product of words that would support that which makes the ‘world go round’ which is, capitalism as our current world system.

    You can investigate this for yourself, watch:

    Learn about Edward Bernays as the father of selling happiness to Americans while instilling one of the greatest brainwashing mechanisms in our modern era – besides the long-time god belief:
    “Bernays used the “Freudian Theory” to deal with the public’s conception of communism, as he believed that we should not be easing the public’s fear of communism, but rather promote that fear and play with the public’s emotions of it. This theory in its own was so powerful that it became a weapon of its own during the cold war.”

    n Propaganda (1928), Bernays argued that the In In Propaganda (1928), Bernays argued that the manipulation of public opinion was a necessary part of democracy:

    The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. …We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. …In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons…who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind
     
    Wiki entry on Edward Bernays
     

    And so everyone learned to aim for Individuality, specialness, uniqueness, which could only be ‘obtained’ through Buying your Happiness.

    Now this is a short introduction to understand then WHY I was conditioned to see Communism as a threat, the words, people that I linked to the word, the regard I held for most of my life toward it – however it is important to see how it could have been ‘communism’ or any other regime that would mean a threat to the values and lifestyle – yes when life became a ‘style’ – that the American Empire would promote, I may sound like a grandpa saying ‘American Empire’  but that’s what it was. I will then share about how through music I learned to then evade all things politics or listen to music that would demonstrate such evasion for a while to submerge myself in the world of the intangible, which is how now I understand, everyone  that at some point had an intention to ‘do something’ to change this world would end up in: dropping out, being isolated and resorting to drugs, alcohol, poetry or mere suicidal tendencies. Quite a shame, specially when you get to know people and their potential that It’s just HERE however, money becomes the main obstacle all the fucking time for them to develop themselves, learn further, suit themselves with the necessary equipment/ tools to do that which is certainly not only ‘entertainment,’ but bright ideas that we can actually place on march when Money is no longer a kick in the ass more than a living tool to exist – for that visit the Equal Money System website, vote for our goals – it’s time to Stop as I’ve seen and realized what we can do if we all stand up to our max capacity and Will ourselves to Live.

     

     

    The Revolutionary Character:

     

    Self Forgiveness on ‘Red Fears’ and Capitalist Propaganda

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take words as knowledge and information as ‘truth’ of reality when it came to forming a perspective, opinion and view upon the world, without further investigation and within this, forming/shaping/ molding ‘who I am’ toward reality/ this world based Only on that which I had understood/ learned as knowledge and information that in no way represented the reality of what is here, as all history, knowledge and information is mostly told only from a certain perspective that will benefit the ‘story/history teller’ – and in this,

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss out any form of common sense development through only taking knowledge and information that I acquired from others – without any form of proof or further investigation – and in this, created an entire character based on fearing that which apparently ‘threatened’ our stability and ‘happiness,’ which is what I came to believe that Communism represented.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link the word communism to mediocrity and revolting people, as that is what I got from what I would hear/ listen/ see within the news wherein I didn’t even bother to ask what was the real conflict that lead to seeing Communism as ‘the devil,’ and If I did ask – which I can’t remember – the general idea was that Communists were trying to make the whole world communist, which is the great fat lie that I accepted and allowed to believe, which all came from the perspective of the history being told according to what our northern neighbors – United States of America – were promoting as a belief about Socialism/ Communism in order to justify wars against those whose who represented a threat to the actual imperialism that Capitalism has become over the third world.


     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to generate a sense of rejection toward anything that sounded like ‘giving to all equally’ because of imprinting these images of what in my imagination I had pictured poverty in Russia to be like, wherein the story of people coming from Russia in order to escape poverty became my own ‘reality reference’ to what I believe was ‘Communism,’ and such immediately linking it to a bad thing, without realizing that such people were actually escaping from the downfall of a debunked attempt to establish an actual communism, which has not really existed in the ideal terms of what it would in fact mean to consider all beings as equal.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that one would be Less Free if one would not be able to buy and consume all of that which I have linked ‘power’ and ‘freedom’ to, which is essentially the ability to BUY and Consume things from the capitalist world, and forming the idea of how ‘poor’ and ‘limited’ people were in socialist countries or even in the Eastern Germany, which was also part of my tangible example of how people had apparently suffered through that time and that everyone essentially was asking and pleading for Capitalism, which is nothing else but the result of Capitalism being linked to a sense of Happiness, Joy, Freedom, Liberty and most importantly Democracy through a propagandistic apparatus that we are living in till this day, wherein there is a general conception of having Free Choice and Free Will to buy and consume and experience all the good things in life when you have money – hence promoting the desire for money as the equation of ‘good life’ that in no way stands within an actual meaning of what ‘good life’ would be like, which certainly cannot continue be equated to consuming the most you can, buying products that you don’t need, buying items for the same of the value they represent in a social hierarchy, accumulating wealth as a means of protection, buying properties that you won’t live in and the list goes on, which is widely promoted as lifestyles to ‘seek to attain’ in our current reality through people that we have deemed as ‘rich and famous’ – which is nothing else but adoring and praising the very key-people that are keeping this entire world system of enslavement in place – hence all of this representing everything that communism/ egalitarian societies are Not. Therefore

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see how communism in itself or any form of Equality Consideration of Life was a dynamite to the emerging mind control of linking happiness, well being to Money and the desire for money in itself, being the main driving force that would be adopted by people in order to submit to any form of job, task or activity in order to ‘get the most money’ and within this linking wealth/ power to money to ‘living,’ without ever pondering why such well being wasn’t readily given to all, which is where I accepted and allowed myself to believe that Life is a struggle and that we had to Suffer in order to ‘gain the daily bread’ – nothing else but absolute brainwashing made laws and our current basis of the capitalist world wherein we are able to leave people to starve, die of medical negligence, die of curable diseases, die for not being able to pay their bills and the list goes on, which should be regarded as a massive crime against life, however, we had not taken responsibility for ourselves and in this, we have merely complied to be soldiers that maintain and protect an abusive system that does not regard life, which is Capitalism, simply because of having linked money, wealth, power, products to buy to a sense of happiness, fulfillment, freedom, which are feelings that are generated at a mind level and that do not represent at all who we are as physical beings that exist as constancy and consistency of breath here.

     

    Within this all, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear somehow questioning all the abuse that was being accepted and allowed in this world just because of not wanting to then be labeled communist or a ‘revolting person’ even though I ended up gaining a reputation of sorts as being rebellious-anti system which became a character that I wore ‘proudly’ without even realizing how within my emerging opposition to the world system, I was more going to perpetuate my life being angry, mad at the system and ostracizing myself further into my own ‘realm of the non tangible,’ denying nay form of responsibility, which is precisely where I was headed toward if I had not been involved in Desteni quite timely in my life some 5 years ago.

     

    I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all of this information stigmatizing Communism, Socialism, Equality was based on maintaining the current world system we’re living in as a majority that believes that one must struggle in order to live – and in this, creating a general fear to stand up due to having learned of revolutions and movements just ending up with people in jail, killed, abducted, high jacked, murdered mercilessly which became a series of ‘warnings’ that I should not ever attempt to confront the system – within this

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hear the word communist linked to being revolutionary due to the various icons and people that I learned were linked to communism and that somehow I regarded as heroic people, however little did I understand how the system works and how any form of open opposition would only light fires and further problems, instead of simply proposing a solution at a political level wherein All beings can be equally supported. This means that my idea, belief and perception of Revolution/ Rebellion had to do with opposing the system without understanding it, just asking for ‘change’ but not knowing how to do it – and at the same time, fearing being labeled as ‘communist’ for the pejorative aspect I had linked to such word, wherein I still didn’t want to end up poor or being given ‘the same to eat every day’ which were common misconceptions and ideas around communist countries that I came to believe were truth and had no further context to it but that, just knowledge and information that I simply feared ending up living in, not seeing the greater picture of for example, the lives of the absolutely poor people that are the direct result of only a fraction of the world embracing Capitalism and exploiting vast majorities to Sustain such ‘Capitalist Dream = American Dream’ at the expense of those that were left in positions of great disparity – mostly in the so called ‘third world’ – which are quite present till this day in our day to day living when reading where our clothes and gadgets were built in.  (Read: 115. Following our Dreams is Plain Delusional an 116. Dreams of Perfect Lives as Mind Control)

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to acquire the common belief of money = satisfaction, joy, security, protection, well being for myself and ‘those around me’ wherein I then believed that this was ‘my perspective’ and ‘my decision’ to support a system wherein one can buy all you want as a means of happiness and fulfillment – this becoming then the basis to form my character as the Revolutionary Elitist wherein Yes I would see poverty and lack for many beings, I wanted “Change” but I was not entirely willing to give up my own pursuit of happiness, which is then revealing how once again, the intentions to change were not absolute as I was not willing to let go of my personal aims and future projections based on having an elitist position in this world Based On this idea of ‘change’ and ‘revolution.’

     

    You can read this process here:

     

    And so, I see and realize that I used communism as a boogie man in my mind just by following public opinion, by following what I would hear parents speak about and probably on the news and people that had suffered poverty conditions in Russia as the result of a downfall within the socialist scheme, which is then a point to consider in how it actually came to  a downfall and what intervened in that process, which points out in common sense that any form of egalitarianism promoted as a world system, meant a threat to world-systems based on hierarchical structures – which is then the easiest way to understand why we were taught in schools to see the Soviet Union as a living condition that we had to avoid at all cost, having little context of how it came to be, why it didn’t flourish to an absolute success if the principle was apparently aiming at equality. This thus brings the questions: how is it that we have come to Equate a word like Equality to Evil, Equality to ‘Lack’, Equality to Loss of ‘Good Living Standards’ without questioning first how we came to link everything that is good, well, nice, excellent, special and unique to all things that represent the most money/ power as a symbol of success.

     

    I realize within this that Communism is just another counteract to Capitalism the way that it is currently conceived and its reality outflows till this day because, it didn’t consider an absolute reform of the monetary system but only remained as a series of political considerations that would ostracize certain countries from the rest of the world, creating a ‘battle’ due to money still meaning a point of power over life. This is how corruption still brewed in communist societies/ countries/ regimes as the problem we have to look at is not only reforming the system but the nature of the human being. And that, my fellow droogs, is not able to be implemented through opposition or wars, but Education.

     

    Why has no one realized the actual power to create a new human being resides in Education? That is what actually shapes/ molds and forms who you are going to be and what you are going to value as Life as Reality and what you are going to oppose and refrain from participating in – this is how at Desteni we are educating ourselves to see beyond the veils of human history through capitalism and communism alike, as both were only sides of the same coin, used to justify wars and further rivalry that lead the world nowhere but to where we are now, more embellished with nonsensical desires for happiness and fearing to give to each other what we would want for ourselves – isn’t that the definition of Evil?

     

    This will continue with Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments to finally understand where we Stand within the Equality consideration as the Equal Money System and finally stop fearing giving to each other what you would want for yourself, placing common sense that can be acquired, lived and applied by each individual to stop revolting against the system, and instead understand it and act within Self Responsibility to be part of the change in this world that will Not come through Revolution, but through individuals that Stand up for Life in Equality, until it is done.

     

     

    Blogs:

     

    Interviews:

    Anu explains the Hierarchy of his Race which then brings up the point to ponder here: you are the image and likeness of your creator, find out the fascinating considerations one regards as ‘Elitist’/More than and why we are immediately submerged into this Self-Belief of having to Be the Best of the pack.


    215. Red Fears = Capitalist Propaganda

     

    Communism as Fear Label.

    I grew up with the belief that people were leaving the USSR because communism lead to poverty – little did I know that it was not because of Communism in itself, but a failure within the Attempt to establish Communism as an actual living of what Marx envisioned. As Cerise Poolman puts it:

    “people already cry out “communism” when they hear about it [Equal Money System] – not even realizing that everything we think we know about communism is the distorted image that the power-countries want us to believe. Maybe this is then a good indication that we are on the right track?” 

    Day 213: War, It Isn’t Good For Absolutely Nothing

     

    Hence as a child and knowing this ‘friend of my mother coming from Russia because of communism’ instilled the belief within me that Communism leads to poverty and as such, growing under the influence of my parents who also adopted such belief – of course I don’t blame anyone here, this is just how things developed and here I am taking responsibility to see where and how I have conditioned myself to create an entire opinion and perspective based on what I’ve heard-  yes, without any further investigation or background to it. 

     

    Continuation of the Elitist Character:

    The Revolutionary Character:

     

    As I mentioned in the post 212. Opposing the System= Act of Ignorance the word ‘Communist’ became a pejorative term that could lead people to be tagged by the government and even be jailed-  once again, little did I know the context of such situations and the actual course of events that developed.

    I realized later on how ‘in the back of my head’ which means an entire opinion-personality existed toward communism, wherein the word ‘revolutionary’ is inherently linked in my mind to some paintings,  general icons in relation to communism etc. So the point to Self Forgive here is the brainwashing in itself, wherein I took information ‘as it came’ without further investigation – and only when having people linking Equal Money System to communism realizing that we  were onto having some major resistances from what I had witnessed throughout my life, wherein communism was spoken in a similar fashion to talking about the devil or the scum of the Earth, ‘revolutionary’ became another key word linked to rebellion, which  I then took proudly as a tag I wanted to wear myself within a personal vendetta against ‘family patterns’ that I’ve discussed throughout my entire process. We’ve lost all ability to discern information and actually not take things at ‘word value,’ but investigate, research and create our own conclusions and even more so, suit it to our own personal vendettas. I even recall quite clearly how I would get an ‘upliftment’ when I was called this way by my parents.

     

    It is certainly now easier to have access to information, 20 years ago I had no access or even interest in what I do  now. I remember going to this explanation of the communism in Venezuela which I shared here: Socialism in the 21st century? and how it was painted as something absolutely nice and pretty by this German sociologist that I met. Later on I realized that the man’s stance was that of ‘fucking with the system’ even in petty acts of theft, and his entire proposal was putting up a front toward the ‘academy’ while earning quite good money from his academic endeavors. He was another example of what I thought was ‘cool’ to do for a moment, even though the retaliation and vengeance toward the system by petty theft definitely seemed like obviously questionable – however, it is to remember that I was pretty much in that ‘reactive’ side of social matters, and my aim was to be ‘inspired’ by these ‘libertarians’ mostly from other countries, mostly people that have even come to Mexico as a ‘political asylum,’ because virtually you can ‘do it all’ here.

     

    The Muralist movement here in Mexico was one of my greatest influences of course as that’s most of what one would have to see as a demonstration of art in the 20th century. Communism rang again and the same with Siqueiros and his communist endeavors up to the point where he became active in the Communist Party here. I knew that the muralists had gotten themselves into trouble for portraying socialist icons in murals made for Rockefeller – lol – that’s quite obvious yet courageous within the same starting point of ‘confronting’ the system and making money out of it, good money and fame out of it – hence we add more information to my communist sack: revolutionary, opposition, courageous and within that admiring mostly Siqueiros as a man with ‘great guts’ and in that, holding him as an ideal of what I wanted to be and become as well.

     

    A reminder is that I am placing out here all the Knowledge and Information I acquired as the propaganda it is, meaning even these artists also got to have lots of fame, fortune and living the ‘ideal’ of an artist I envisioned early in my life. Right now my sister’s influence from the time she was a teenager popped-up, she was quite the communist act during her high school years, she even was a role model for me when I was also 8-9 years old, she was quite an opinionated person while being in a school that was funded mostly by communist/ leftist intellectuals in our city. Fascinating how I got the influence of such people through my sister and her acquired ideas at school, pretty cool since I got to know some of our ‘hidden history’ from the books she’d read and tell stories about.  This was  also seen as a threat to what the normalcy of her desires at the time should have been (she’s 10 years older than me) in terms of  people in ‘high school’ and being in our society like she did.  Later on, with her entering Jesuit Private University, any remains of communism/ socialism or social justice dwindled to the point of remaining as a washed-out version of  ‘good will’ in the background, while realizing that one cannot survive in this world while opposing the system/ idealism in essence, even though we are aware of many people that do make good money out of that, which was never our case in the family since making money out of opposing the system implied becoming an Intellectual and, people in my direct family weren’t that at all – hence my initial fears, brainwashing toward communism.

     

    It is only now that we realize that communism became another version of capitalism due to its confinement and lack of understanding of actual change stemming from the monetary system. Not to mention the boogie-man Communism was also conveniently made within us ‘western societies’ –  the Movie ‘Goodbye Lenin’ also played a role in forming certain criteria around communism, another proof of how media is a powerful way to educate and misinform the masses.

    Hence, it is to clarify that Equal Money System is nor capitalism, nor communism but Equality – there can be no other precedents to an Equality System throughout our history, simply because it has never existed. Period.

     

    Any correspondence with the principles promoted by any other historical figure within the Communist-Fears, it is simply a point to consider with regards to what prevented such principles and considerations from being implemented, and the collective acceptance and allowance of such principles as something ‘Evil’ and ‘Bad’ when promoting the well being of all beings Equally. Isn’t then quite obvious that any detractor of anything sounding like Communism being a blatant defender of the Abuse toward Life? Communism as a word, without the historical load it contains as our knowledge and information like I’ve just poured out myself here, means ‘communal to all’ = common, it was thus envisioned as a common sense. I repeat: Envisioned as a common sensical system, it was never placed in full action and consideration of all the factors that should have been taken into consideration to actually have a real demonstration of what a functional communist country could be like to support human beings to their utmost potential. This, precisely became Idealism instead of practical realizations.

     

    The world is in reverse and this means that Capitalism is by far the most well-covered up form of slavery we’ve accepted with positive-acts of ‘fulfillment’ like happiness through consuming, escalating the social ladder to get more money and call that ‘success’ instead of abuse, perpetuating political dispensations that support a system of perpetual ‘struggle to live’ wherein things like poverty have become a background aspect in all societies around the world, coming up now to the surface in a more visible way  to realize that there has been something Very Wrong about the acceptance and allowance of a Consciousness-mentality of a System that is in no way regarding Life in Equality, but only seeking to consume, destroy the most for its own engulfment of power in the hands of a few.  Listen to The Soul of Money to understand to the T what I’m saying here.

     

    As above, so below: the same happened in Heaven and Hell (The Earth)

    Heaven spreading fears around the Demon dimension, not wanting to even get close to them to support them and integrate them as part of the whole – but instead relegating them to some ‘outskirt’ rank in existence – just like we do with poverty and any other marginalized being in our reality, little did anyone know what their real abilities were. The same with Jesus and everyone having missed the point of his entire process on Earth to promote Life in Equality and instead, turning his words and persona into some Christian paraphernalia to sell idols as saviors instead of realizing the actual gift that he meant for human beings to realize the Equality as Life that we are, which is  what Jesus came to say. These are Crucial aspects to understand of our reality – both able to be heard in the series Demons in the Afterlife | The Crucifixion of Jesus |  And No, this has Nothing to do with the fact that you believe in a god, heaven, Jesus or hell – this is part of the configuration/ set up that we all exist as by the sheer fact of existing as a mind and a physical body merged into ‘who we are’ which is more of an accepted and allowed con that must be corrected now.

    Read: Day 214: Jesus was the Greatest Threat to the Creator Gods – ADC – Part 62

     

    Within this all, it is not a surprise that my initial reactions toward the Equal Money System when getting to know about it in 2008 were met with an uncanny resistance that I was not even aware of ‘where it came from’ obviously, it had become part of my programming to fear anything that threatened our current system, even if the idea sounded Great at first, there were many questions around the value of money and how it was all going to be done if we already had this nice value-system wherein I had been brainwashed to accept the fact that one can only be supported to live if you work for it, more like Struggle for it. You know? Life is Hard/ Life is Tough, waddle your way through it, push to breakthrough and maybe, only maybe, you’ll make it.

     

    From here stems all these ideas that we were being ‘oppressed’ by the system, not realizing we Are the System and that any leftist-endeavor was always met with resistance because no real solutions were considered: there was no Self-Responsibility as in Individually realizing how the nature of our current Capitalist System is the exact reflection of how our mind works. Hence even if on paper communism was meant to be a ‘utopia’ on Earth, it would have mostly failed on the long run if the nature of the human would not be precisely engineered to support and sustain the communist principles, which requires understanding of how the mind works and how this reality operates within the same principles of our mind and its relationship to the physical body. These are the reasons why and  how a reform in the system cannot only be seen as a single political move to a betterment of society – it must be a holistic gradual process of Self-Change, individually, through Education that must be considered even from the moment one is pretending to conceive another life form/ child to live in this world. There is a lot of  material to study in order to understand How we came to create the current world system as the image and likeness of the relationship existent between the mind as consciousness as the ‘resident evil’ within our physical body, and what it actually implies and entails us having to walk this process within existence as a way to correct – dare I say ‘conciliate’ that inherent separation we accepted and allowed as existence. Yes, energy as the result of separation and exemplified nowadays as our monetary system and its ‘inner workings’ is the perfect physical example of what happens when the creators – not ‘gods’ but each one of us, creators and perpetrators of this current world system – disregard all beings within this world as equals and consider only Self Interest.

    All of this is explained to the T in all the interviews at Eqafe – and I say All because the default ‘scenario’ for everything narrated there is our entire history that has never been told, but that has created the very consequences we are facing till this day on Earth, in our day to day living. Thus, as you can realize, it is as Relevant as can be and we cannot give further steps without individuals taking the Responsibility to Educate themselves to Understand, and upon Understanding, Acting according to the common sense realizations of how to walk through within this world to create and establish a viable solution for all.

     

    Will the world hear? Are you ready to understand reality to the T and regain your actual power to no more be subdued by the constant impulse of buy-consume-happiness brainwashing that we’ve accepted and allowed Till this day on Earth.

    I dare you.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become brainwashed by knowledge and information that I acquired within ‘trust’ toward the people and sources of information as ‘reliable’ without realizing that in this world, everything has been managed and controlled through knowledge and information as education and media in order to veer the population that has access to such information toward a particular outcome that will benefit those that write the history books, lay out the Education programs which is all designed to perpetuate the capitalist system as a form of acceptable slavery through values and words that represent an inherent inability to support all beings equally and placing that as a form of ‘physical law’ that I never investigated but simply took ‘as is,’ not realizing that all the knowledge and information acquired around communism, socialism and revolutions was meant to be placed as warnings, as ways to prevent any of us from actually taking action to question our own system – but instead, accept Fear of Communism/ Socialism as something that we simply had to avoid at all cost, which proves how it is through individual acceptance and allowance of information as ‘the devil’ that we shape, form and sustain our own mind control.

     

    I commit myself to debunk my beliefs, accepted and allowed brainwashing around communism and revolutionary characters in order to establish a common sensical starting point within my own process of taking responsibility for what is here, so that it is no longer tainted by my personal history, by humanity’s history written in books and told by teachers/ people that were taught to teach such information in the first place – and instead, establish a common sensical practical consideration of using knowledge and information to understand how we have created our ideological apparatus and how it has been conveniently set up, not only from schools or parents, but on the streets/ the media as the general configuration that defines our reality – which is currently based on money/ capitalism –  and within this, explore the ways we can use the same mechanisms that are currently existing as a way to educate people and get to know the actual reality that has been veiled behind the symbols of power/ success/ happiness that have become the real weapons of mind control, widely accepted and allowed in any home and school with sufficient money to be active within this world as an economic force – which proves again how people that are not part of the system are not even taken into consideration when it comes to brainwashing, because they have no money to spare as a result of such brainwashing.  Shame on us, humanity. But, we are here to take Self Responsibility for all of this, until it is done.

    I will continue with detailed Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application upon this on the following blogs

     

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    207. Changing the World in Self Interest

     

    Continuation of the Elite Character – Self Interest when wanting to ‘Change the World’

     

    Now from the personal interests and keeping ourselves in a position of current benefits, we jump to also another aspect of self interest which, as I had explained in the previous blogs, has to do with an inherent desire to get to a position of power/ recognition by becoming some form of libertarian to society, while earning money and living quite ‘well’ within the system – not to mention how I would mostly be only speaking about it but not doing anything practical about it. This is the substantial aspect that we can all still see around us: many people becoming ‘aware’ of change and wanting to ‘change the world’ but how much of that awareness is in fact practical to do create a tangible physical reality that can be best for all? Only by promoting social equality or justice within the context of my understanding back then would have lead to another revolution wherein further conflicts ensue without any actual change that would lead to a realization of how it is that Money is the current point that is required to be changed/ reformed in order to establish any form of change in this world. I was only looking at governments back then, people in it, and all the entire world-system as just some type of ‘evil’ that I was absolutely a victim of. This is where the trick resides here, how we have always separated ourselves from the responsibility of what is here and rejoiced in being able to point fingers and even Drive other beings to become aware at the same level of opposition and lead them to further ways to ‘escape the system,’ of which I am also responsible for and have walked in self forgiveness throughout my process, because I also led people to further irresponsibility and opposition within my apparent ‘clarity’ about reality, which was, once again, only stemming from my desire to place myself as this righteous benevolent person that wanted to change the world and bring ‘social justice’ while neglecting my own responsibility within it. How easy, isn’t it?

    In reality, we have realized it cannot possibly as easy as that, it cannot possibly be just a matter of ‘letting things run  its course’ and be asking for change while even desiring to get further recognition for being a ‘voice for the people,’ while maintaining our own benefits and being deliberately oblivious to how we were ‘good for fighting’ against the system, but not at all even being aware of how our own self-interest was still stemming from not being willing to give up our ‘little bits of heaven’ in order to dedicate our lives to an actual change, because we weren’t even aware of what that implies.

     

    So, this is how at Desteni we are aware that social, political and economical change is required in order for the World to change – and that cannot exist if there is no Education for human beings in order to realize to what extent the configuration of this reality – including the ‘opposition’- was part of a greater scheme of enslavement of which we are all equally participants of by the sheer fact of being here. This implies that the first step is taking Self Responsibility of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become and within that, become part of a group that promotes Self Responsibility in order to establish an actual change and reform to the current system, while realizing that it is not about ‘opposing it’ nor spiritualizing the entire process to a heavenly experience of ‘self change’ either – it is rather a realization of practical steps and considerations that one must be absolutely willing to walk as an Understanding and Realization of what must be done, instead of it being just another activity to make oneself feel ‘better’ or ‘good’ or aim to get to some ‘higher position’ within society, which would absolutely go against everything that we stand for which is Equality as Life, as physical beings that decide to stand up and take responsibility.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think that wanting to ‘change the world’ was going to be a nice, blissful type of experience wherein I would be able to maintain all my benefits and even earn ‘more’ by promoting ‘change’ in this world, which is the entire personality of how I wanted to obtain some form of reward/ benefit from doing something ‘good’ to society, which reveals to what extent we have never been self-willed beings but have only regurgitated the same words and desires to ‘do something’ about reality, but never even questioning why we, people with certain amount of money, were wanting to do some ‘change’ just by promoting it, without understanding how the system works and how the actual change entails money and entails a process of participation within the system, not outside of it.

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire ‘world change’ and expecting it to just ‘happen’ by a sudden realization of ourselves human beings being willing to just ‘do something about the world/ ourselves’ which was quite an ignorant desire from my side, mostly relying on an spiritual type of agenda that I also participated in, wherein I believed that somehow everything would be aligned to a ‘wonderful outcome’ in the end, and this relying on how brainwashed I had always been to believe that ‘in the end everything will be just fine,’ becoming a comfortable belief-system and ‘certainty’ within me in order to just continue pursuing my own position of promoting ‘change’ but never even looking at the actual root/cause of the problem in this world system, which is Money.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an entire character within myself of becoming an opposition to ‘the Elite’ once that I realized my own position and the self interest that I was living in, without realizing that I never actually stopped being part of the people that have enough money to eat and be educated – thus, I only ‘changed my mind’ about money, but I never changed my actual understanding of how it is that money works, how it is that no matter how much I pretended to ‘care’ about others as long as I remained oblivious to myself, my own self-change as an actual introspection and investigation of my life to see where and how I could in fact contribute to a world-change based on what’s best for all, I simply was projecting a desire to ‘change others’ / the world without having to look at myself, because that would mean then that I was in fact not ‘right’ and within my own mind: I was absolutely ‘right’ about what I was aiming to do and be/ become, neglecting the fact that I was also absolutely responsible for everything that I was pointing fingers at within this world, while still remaining under the protective shadow of having enough money to live well and still manage to criticize the system with no further solutions other than opposing it and ‘asking for change’ to the ‘authorities.’

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect things to always work out ‘just fine’ in the end when embarking myself within a process of becoming an antagonist and opposition toward the world system, wherein I essentially would only take pride of being an ‘aware being’ and ‘not being brainwashed,’ developing a constant anger toward society, media, people in general, without realizing that the actual point of change and real awareness that I was missing was myself, first realizing how I am equally responsible for this world which is ludicrous but, I never even considered how I was responsible for this entire world’s situation and that me and my desires to ‘change the world’ were coming and existing from the self-righteous belief that I had nothing to do with ‘what is going on in this world’ and that I was only a ‘victim’ of it, without realizing how this became my own protective mechanism from realizing how we have all contributed to the current state of the world by the mere fact of existing, by the mere fact of using money and by the mere fact of believing that we had some ‘higher purpose’ in life and that my ‘higher purpose’ was linked to becoming ‘aware’ and be the ‘world changer’ personality, from the starting point of opposing the system, not realizing that I am in fact one and equal As the system and that the system is ourselves.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world from the perspective of the Enlightened Self Interest, wherein ‘in the end’ I would also get a higher position after such apparent ‘world change’ which is the motivation that I had been conditioned to follow through as part of the entire process of ‘getting to a higher position in society’ while wearing a ‘world peace’ banner in my mind in order to justify the means to my projected ‘success’ as in doing it for a ‘good cause,’ which in the end is no different to any other job/ position that is intending to ‘do well’ and most likely only remain as a ‘promoter’ instead of an active participant within the system, working on a solution that will certainly not allow further elitism in society or any other vainglory form of personalized benevolence but only the realization that we can only thrive as humanity when all beings are equally supported. That implies that:

     

    I commit myself to walk the process of realizing how any form of world change cannot contain any form of individual self interest to get to a ‘higher position’ at all, as that would obviously imply that only the same system that allows such ‘superiority’ would be reinforced with another mask of ‘change’ – an actual consideration and actions toward world change imply doing it from the starting point of realizing how we are one whole as one organism that can only continue living if we regard all parts/ all beings as equals – this implies then that only equal positions in society can exist wherein all people are equally supported with money to live, with education to understand how we can all practically become self-responsible beings and within this, understanding how money can only be valued as life in order to maintain such well being in society, wherein a form of sickness/unbalance to the organism can only exist if one single part is desiring to get ‘more’ than the other part, which is then another form of Self Abuse that must be understood as such and not any longer as Success which is how we’ve been currently brainwashed to think ‘power’ is.

     

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    197. Friends of Convenience

    How many times have you been in the position of not ‘bearing’ a person but remaining with them for their material possessions, their house and general lifestyle they could provide you with in an indirect manner? Are friendships also based on the amount of benefits one get from one another? Is this happiness?

     

    Continuation to the Elitist Character 

    “I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how, with what we accept and allow within ourselves – we will accept and allow in the without of ourselves. Accepting and allowing poverty, famine, starvation to exist as the Physical Sorrow of/as this physical existence, to accept and allow Elitism to exist as the Physical Joy – with the Physical Sorrow, being caused/manifested by/through no Money, and the Physical Joy, being created by/through an abundance of Money. In reality – creating the negative/bad/low and also the positive/good/high, where we have not seen, realised and understood that we have created/manifested the Evil of/as this World System as a direct-mirror of/as the Evil of the Mind/Consciousness – where, as the Mind, as with the World System, we would continue accepting and allowing the polarities of positive and negative, so that we can continue using these polarities at the benefit of producing more energy within, and more money without, all of it at the sacrifice of the Physical Body, and so this Physical Existence, and actual humans, animal, earth lives.”

     

    The memory that comes to mind is going to a very nice house of my parents’ group of friends and I was absolutely baffled at the luxury that these people lived in – I was probably 6 years old and I remember having a very bad experience with the girl of the house that was around 2 years older than me and that I was supposed to be playing with, because I perceived her as absolutely controlling, bossy and overtly conceited to the point wherein I simply kept quiet, interacted only bits while feeling generally uncomfortable and mostly keeping myself quiet, which is a general point I tend to act out when being ‘Intimidated’ by someone, which in this case and as a regular pattern throughout my life from there on, was linked toward people that I knew had money/ were rich/ had some sort of ‘power’ according to society.

    So, in that moment I didn’t like being there and would be judging her as a spoiled kid with all these toys and ‘expensive stuff’ that I obviously did not have, which lead me to feel ‘less than’ her, yet at the same time creating this desire to one day have the ability to have such a house, such toys/ luxury and essentially what I believed then was like ‘dream like’ living-condition. Besides the point of desiring what the girl and this family had, I realized somehow that being related to these people was something I could benefit from, and that relationships with these particular group of friends would eventually lead me to get to a similar lifestyle in my reality, or at least enjoy it while going to their houses. Thus, even if I disliked and would most likely keep secret judgments about the girls and the family in general at ‘face value’ based on my general discomfort of being with her and in such ‘tight’ events,  I played along in order to be able to go and play with her stuff and enjoy her house, which actually didn’t happen in the end with this particular girl – but, the point is seeing how convenience ruled and hypocrisy became something that I begun playing out even as a child, learning how to smile even though I was uncomfortable just because of being in a social situation that I knew I could have some benefit from and that I only required to present myself as the ‘good girl’ at all times, while in fact not really enjoying the presence of particular beings BUT liking the environment/ the comfort/ the lifestyle that I could experience for a while there.

    - Within this post, I’ll begin with writing Self Forgiveness upon linking the having lots of money/ wealth/ power/ success to a positive experience, fulfillment and a general happiness as ‘my purpose in life’ that I believed I had to pursue in order to be able to experience such ‘well being’ for myself again in my future.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link the picture/ image and concept of luxury as having lots of money to happiness, joy, bliss, comfort and a general well being that I began to desire from that moment as a child and on, wherein I would then constantly be assessing my own house, my own toys, my own ‘lifestyle’ and family in comparison to what I had seen with people with more money and identifying them as a ‘better class’ as an elite that I believed were ‘more’ than ourselves, more educated, more ‘refined’ wherein I attached a positive value toward everything that could be bought with ‘lots of money’ such as big houses, big luxury cars, lots of toys, nice clothes, expensive schools and general way of being that I linked to a characteristic and quality which is having refined physical mannerisms, all of this which I installed as a ‘future desire within my life’ to fulfill.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to imprint the ‘picture perfect family’ as this still thought as the image of the house in the background and the family standing outside in the garden, altogether waving goodbye and being seemingly happy wherein particularly their ‘well being’ as the smile on their faces became a desire for me to also mimic and experience, which is why their attitudes and mannerisms became a basic ‘imprint’ within me from just that one day in order to play it out/copy it in future events to denote a form of ‘elegance’ and ‘class’ and ‘etiquette’ that I had acquired only from that day that I visited this family in their house.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the answer from my father without a question in terms of why these people were ‘so rich’? and how it was due to a family business lineage that they belonged to, wherein I then immediately saw it as something that was ‘meant to be’ and that was ‘acceptable’ within this world, wherein only a few families/ businesses/ lineage/ bloodlines are allowed to have all the luxury in the world/ all the money, while the rest of society has no access to such equal amount of benefits at all. Within this I realize that as a child I created this concept of wealth as a positive thing that one would want to ‘aspire to obtain,’ because of listening to y father saying that ‘they would do GOOD in their business’ which I linked then wealth to success to happiness, joy and bliss as the ideal lifestyle that I desired to have for many, many years just based on that one single day that I went to such house and got a vivid ‘idea’ of what being rich is all about.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that people with lots of money were in fact ‘better human beings’ as in ‘more civilized’ wherein I then desired to have such a status and position to Not be someone from the rest of the populace which I then begun comparing as ‘less than’ with adjectives related to rude, uneducated, unrefined as an inherent quality to people that don’t have ‘lots of money’ and therefore, their education was not as ‘good’ as the elitist’s one, which I began to take as a frame of reference to see who I would want to be friends with according to their picture presentation, their vocabulary, their parents, their house and everything that could denote that me being friends with them, would mean having luxury and benefits that I would not get at home/ not have them as readily available as these other beings would. Thus beginning to divide my perspective toward people based on money/ social position instead of actually seeing the being as one and equal to myself and direct myself to treat them all equally.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the belief that I had to be and become a ‘successful person’ and ‘do good with money’ as in linking this good/ positive experience to luxury, to having a big house with a big garden and animals and a ‘doll’s house’  and lots of toys that I could store in huge cabinets, and houses that seemed like a maze which I have linked to ‘perfect houses’ as in being able to provide a comfortable experience which was all based on money and within this, wanting to be someday a ‘successful person’ so that I could have all of this luxury that I became quite infatuated with for some time while growing up – within this

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to pray to ‘god’ every day that we could win a huge house in a particular ruffle because that house represented ‘my dream come true’ as witnessed within this particular situation of the elitist house and how I would literally say that I would not ask for anything else any longer But that single house that would make me happy – and in this, equating happiness and fulfillment to ‘having a big house’ that was  part of a ruffle, and when we did not get it, I simply began questioning the might of my ‘prayer’ because ‘god’ had not listened to me/ given us the house of my dreams.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link happiness, well being and confidence to ‘having lots of money’ wherein I believed that my condition as my inner-beingness and experience was determined and defined by the amount of money we had, which is how I had created this immediate ‘pick-up’ experience in my family wherein whenever my father was ‘happy’ for having a ‘good day at work,’ I would be equally happy and joyful as he was – and when he was in a ‘bad mood’ according to having had a bad day at work or a continued phase of bad business days, I became more quiet and distant and worried all the time, just because of realizing that we were in a dire economical situation, wherein I simply accepted the fact that Money determined ‘who I am’ in my every day living condition.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my ‘ideal life in the future’ having ‘lots of money’ as a default ingredient, based on what I had witnessed was possible for human beings to have and live by in ‘my reality,’ which then created this constant inner conflict of me becoming rather unsatisfied with my house, with the toys that I had, with our cars, our general social-condition because of desiring the life of others that had ‘much better stuff than we did,’ and within this linking the middle-class situation to not being ‘good enough’ and as such, allowing myself to pursue relationships and social links that would allow me to get to experience such luxury for some time, even if it was for the while I could go and visit and enjoy their homes and ‘toys.’

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create this general judgment of rich people being mostly spoiled and within this being mostly ‘conceited’ wherein I then would not entirely enjoy such personalities, but would manage to ‘cope with it’ because of me wanting to remain as ‘friends’ so that I could benefit from going to the places and residences they lived in, playing with their extensive variety of toys and generally all the ‘goods’ they would have heaps of due to the amount of money their parents had, which I didn’t have at home – thus, becoming prone to constantly be seeing my family and house and my ‘belongings’ as less than because they weren’t as good as the stuff and properties that other beings had.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to begin linking ‘friendship’ to convenience this way, wherein I knew that if I was to be friends with someone, I would rather pick someone that I could get some benefit from at the level of money/ experiences bought with money, wherein even if their house wasn’t that great BUT they would have lots of toys or lots of variety of candy/ foods that I would not get at home, would be equally equated to ‘positive points’ that I would consider in order to remain being friends with them.

     

    I forgive myself that I never questioned how it is that I would most of the times not want to go and ‘hang out’ with the kids themselves, but would mostly talk myself in my mind to go there to be able to enjoy their house, toys and house environment which to me then seemed like a better reason to go than actually being fully willing to spend my time with the beings themselves.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to from there on, measure the convenience that I had in relation to friendships/ relationships in general at school and friends of friends and people that I would meet according to the house they lived in, their social habits, the foods they ate/ were able to afford, the general ‘status’ they had within society according to the money they have as all of that would mean that I was able to be benefitted from in one way or another.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to remain within this belief of rich people being happy/ better human beings and never questioning such condition as opposed to the rest of the world and even ourselves when not having sufficient money and within this, creating a general acceptance of wealth as a ‘good life’ that I simply had to ‘work hard for’ in my future, and that in the meantime, I could obtain a bit of it through friendships, wherein the more benefits I would get from such friendships, the more ‘comfortable’ it was for me to spend my days with them, even if at times the relationship with the people themselves was not ‘great’ – but would always convince myself of simply ‘bearing with them’ as long as I could have my own benefit of experiencing myself in their houses/ with their toys/ eating their food and going out to the places they went to and so forth.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to grow up within this belief that everything that I had to look for/ aim at was to have lots of money and social relationships that could ‘back up’ such lifestyle  – being ‘equally wealthy’ –  wherein I linked this belief to a purpose in life, an absolute fulfillment wherein I knew that my entire schooling/ career years would have to aim at this ultimate power and success, being equated to ‘doing good’ according to what I learned at home. Within this, never questioning why I would only be wanting to pursue such happiness for myself only and never even looking at other people’s lives and their ability to do the same, simply because I became used to thinking that each one had to ‘climb their way’ within society through ‘hard work’ and foolishly believing that only those that were wanting to have this similar social status, would have to ‘work hard’ or come from a wealthy family  – automatic riches – to then be part of the elite within society – never questioning if it was in fact that All people could equally get to have such amount of money even with  also ‘working hard,’ never questioning at that stage why then poor people were poor but only accepted it as part of my reality just like anything else that I would see was flawed – never fully questioned it, just kept walking my way to get to have my ‘happy wealthy life’ one way or another.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having created a resistance to walk this point based on how I would be ‘seen’ as self-interested person that is elitist, without realizing that as long as we keep hiding the actual ‘mechanics’ that we’ve existed as throughout our lives, we’ll remain neglecting our responsibility to this world as is, and would keep having a ‘safe spot’ within our egos to not ‘touch upon’ without realizing that it is in fact through walking the seemingly ‘unimportant’ that is the most relevant when it comes to basic mechanisms in which we have conditioned ourselves to Think reality, instead of Living Reality.

     

    I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to deny the fact that I had Also at some point of my life also vehemently desired to be rich and wealthy as a synonym of ‘happy life,’ wherein I had almost tried to bury and hide such phase of my life due to the judgment I held toward the ‘me’ that I was while growing up until my early teens, wherein I was pretty much worried and concerned about society, upper classes, wealth and a general desire to be part of such realm due to the close-encounters with it, and believing that ‘life was much better when having it all,’ which remained as a constant conflict whenever I realized that I wasn’t wealthy and that getting such amount of wealth was mostly impossible for my family – thus acquiring a constant experience in a non-conscious level of not being living to my ‘upmost potential’ because of money always existing as something that is ‘there’ however in a limited manner, and not as ‘limitless’ as I would have wanted it to be.

     

    I commit myself to continue opening up the elitist construct  as I see and realize that even the current lifestyle that I have ‘chosen’ to have is almost like a way to want to redeem myself from the money-desires that I had in my past in one way or another. And also realizing how within the Equal Money System there will be no need to desire ‘the neighbor’s house’ and money, as all will be granted with equal access to an optimum living condition for a lifetime.

     

    Self Corrective Statements in the following post along with continuing dissecting the basic imprints on the Evil that this Elitist construct represents within me, as the separation that Money exists as within our world and society representing the ultimate segregation from the value of Life in Equality to a set of imposed values of more than/ less than existing at the benefit of only a Few in this world, which defined my interactions and general considerations toward other human beings in an almost unnoticeable automatic manner.

     

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    196. The Elitist Evil behind Relationships

     

    “I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the commonsense, practical, physical question regarding: the things coming up in the Mind, “seemingly coming from nowhere”, that I never questioned “where the things that come up in my Mind, seemingly from nowhere go when/as I resist/deny/suppress/ignore it?” – Sunette Spies*

     

     

    Continuation to

     

    So far I’ve walked the point of believing that I had the ‘right’ to assess reality outside of myself and Think/ Believe and/ Perceive that ‘I had nothing to do with that’ and that whatever would come up in my mind was strictly pointing out what existed in others wherein any form of reaction that ensued from this, was taken as ‘ my right’ to react to whatever I thought/ assessed about another.

    See the point? I created my own judgments/ perspectives upon something/ someone in one moment, within my mind only, and according to my own assessment based on judgments, ideas, beliefs, perceptions, preferences at the level of backchat, I defined who I would be in such a moment toward the person and event. Now, where is the physical reality participation in this? Nowhere, I would mostly do this is one single moment of observing, ‘assessing people’ and according to this ‘evaluation’ determine already who I would be toward the person/ environment based on how much I could benefit from the relationship/ situation – mostly obviously, focusing on the economic status of the person and future relationships, which is mostly how I am realizing I was programmed to always be aware of and ensure that I would create relationships based on money, in which I accepted and allowed myself to become a silent elitist in my mind.

     

     

    Why is this relevant to my process? I have shoved aside many times my own elitism implanted at an early age wherein I was taught to be aware of the amount of money people had within my ‘friends at school’ and within this, always being asked questions by my mother about the social status of my friends, their parents their jobs and this eventually making me angry because at my eyes, I knew that the point was me only seeking to be with people in the same ‘social status’ which eventually lead me to rebel against that at a later stage which is another story much later in my teenage years – however, as a child because of being under the ‘control’ of my parents, I would frequent and get along with kids that were part of an upper class that I was quite oblivious to before the age of 6, thus generating this inherent desire to one day have their life, their money and as such, believing that keeping these relationships would lead me to a similar economic outcome as them/ their families which is an upper middle class close to rich people.

     

     

     

    Now, the most prominent point would always be remaining quiet in these situations and events. about the reactions as a defense mechanism, while keeping a ‘welcoming face/ gesture’ on my face when being in an environment that I was busy quickly assessing and deciding who I would be in such situations – the event here is not yet relevant, what is relevant is walking that condition of, after having gone through the righteousness of believing that ‘I am right/ I have the right to assess others’ then simply remain quiet and allow my own thoughts to determine who I am toward others/ in a particular moment/ even in my reality based on the benefit I could get ‘in the future’ from being liked/ accepted by a particular type of people. Why is this? Protection mechanism based on the fear of not being liked/ accepted/ welcomed, fear of  rejection and as such, limiting my ability to benefit from such relationships.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be thinking and valuing others and a moment in reality according to the amount of benefit I would get from such relationships, wherein I essentially allowed my self interest of experiencing a life of joy, comfort and luxury instead of common sense of an actual empathy toward the beings I was being acquainted with.  Within this, assessing my own participation in reality according to the amount of positive experiences I would get from it, which implied me having to ‘keep quiet’ all the judgments and assessments made toward others in order to remain accepted and liked by people that I thought and realized I could ‘benefit from’ within creating a friendship/ acquaintance that would lead me to a similar living-outcome based on the material possessions/ money they represented, which became a desire within me as well.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to determine reality according to my own subjective values of ‘what is in it for me?’ wherein the participation within any event/ activity/ relationships, was always made from the starting point of building a reputation of being a ‘good valuable person’ which would ensure that I created the necessary façade to not have any problems in my reality/ get the most benefits in reality, as I Knew that as long as one present an actively warming attitude and gentleness, people immediately create a point of trust and comfort which is assuring an imprint within another person’s mind of oneself being a ‘good person’ in order to then be able to get something out of the person in exchange to such amicable link in a future moment/ situation wherein such relationship would come in ‘handy’ for my own benefit.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use people, events and situations to my own benefit to build my own ‘persona’ as the reputation that I was aiming at in order to be liked/ accepted/ praised/ recognized by many people and within this appraisal obtained through me creating a positive input within their lives, assure my own ‘triumph’ within everything that I would commit myself to be and become in my reality, as I understood the importance of social relationships in order to escalate in the social-stratus, wherein me having ‘high hopes / aims’ within this world, I knew that I would have to present ‘the good side’ of myself, which was specifically prefabricated in order to create social relationships so that I could benefit from it, accumulating ‘positive relationships’ stemming from the actual fear of being relegated, ostracized, disowned, discriminated and essentially treating me as ‘less than’ everything that I wanted to be and become, which is linked to obviously ending up with no money/ no comfort/ no ‘happiness’ in my world – within this using relationships in my reality in order to only benefit myself, never considering how such relationships could be transformed to a point that could benefit all, because such principle was not even considered within myself in the past.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a cunning observer of reality and acting according to the expected ways within the social-terms of how I would ensure that I always would have people on my side/ people that would like me and accept me within the realization that within this world system, the more you create relationships based on an empathy at a character-level of being a ‘good person,’ one ensures a point of support,  which is how I would abide to these rules in order to ensure that I would do things for others expecting something in return ‘in the future,’ and within this, seeing my participation within relationships with others as a plain act of hypocrisy in order to generate a good reputation for myself for and if I ever required to get something from a person or a situation, ensuring that I would most likely ‘get what I wanted’ based on me having first created a positive-link toward people, ensuring that they would ‘remember’ who I am and as such, support me/ help me out with any point that I would require from them in order to succeed/ achieve my goals or be gotten ‘out of trouble’ which reveals how every decision I made with regards to relationships in my reality were measured according to the amount of benefit I could obtain from them for either any potential ‘upgrading’ in my lifestyle or ‘getting me out of trouble.’

     

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to asses people and define ‘who they are’ according to the amount of money/ education they have and accordingly having decided to either evolve/ develop the relationship Or not participate at all, wherein the not participation would imply already that I would not get ‘anything’ out of such relationships that would support my aim of being and becoming someone ‘better’ in terms of escalating a social-stratus, ‘hanging out’ with more educated people which reveal to what extent I allowed myself to support the polarization of this world within the very ‘weighing process’ of my relationships since I was a young girl.

     

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become used to seeing money as a relevant factor that would determine who I could hang out with/ who I would rather refrain from relating with, base on this inherent belief that I had to stick to people that I could benefit from at an economical and social-relationship level, which became the elitist mind within me that was an aspect of being the ‘good person’ as a building block of a reputation that I was busy scheming throughout my life in order to be and become someone of ‘power’ in my reality, aided from all of these relationships that I thought I could benefit from.

     

    When and as I see myself assessing a relationship with a particular person based on the amount of money and benefit that I can obtain from such relationship, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this has significantly being walked as part of my process, however the point of creating relationships based on the benefit I can get from others at a later stage is still here wherein the only acceptable way of creating relationships in our social-reality at this stage, is to ensure that the outcome of such benefit can be directed and linked specifically to a best for all outcome, this is the Only acceptable way to continue creating relationships/ acquaintances within our reality

     

    I commit myself to walk a process of self forgiveness and self corrective statements and application to ensure that there is not a single bit of self interest implied within the relationships that I create as getting something out of it for my own personal benefit – I instead ensure that I become aware of the relationships that I create, verifying that each one of them stands in alignment with the principle that I am living my life as, which is that of creating, establishing and being the very building block of a world in Equality, wherein all relationships will stop being only based on personal gratification, self interest, greed and the ‘upgrade’ of social-stratus based on wealth, and instead develop the very basic considerations of equal and one support to one another wherein Money is not a decisive factor within it, but more of a necessary mean at this stage in this world to develop and create a world system that will be based on Life in Equality.

     

    I commit myself to stop participating in the same relationship dynamics that have lead to the polarization of reality wherein we have only sought to benefit ourselves/ escalate positions while ignoring the absolute hideous reality that the majority is existing in because of  only a few being busy building further ladders to escalate in the social stratus while neglecting the fact that we are equal and one to that which we neglect, deny  and suppress which is the poverty and the lack in this world based on an economic system that has not supported all beings equally – within this

     

    I commit myself to walk this process of relationships in order to direct relationships to stop being the building blocks of this elitist society that is having money as a god, and as such align the understanding of how it is that only within the realization of the Real Value within Life which is LIFE can relationship and ourselves as individuals actually thrive in reality, as the moment that only self interest is continued to be sought in this reality for our own benefit only, the more we continue the separation, greed and absolute neglect toward the rest of the world that is Here as ourselves and requires to be always taken into consideration with ever y single relationship that we form from here on, as equals, dedicating ourselves to stop egotistical desires of ‘fame and fortune’ and instead, stand up to create and manifest a living condition that is dignified for all beings on Earth, as this is in fact what I would want others to give to each other in an equal manner as the actual well being we are perfectly capable of installing in this life.

     

    There is a particular memory coming up which I will write about in my next blog. And this will be a series of exploring this which I had certainly not written about in my process before, which are these seemingly ‘unimportant’ experiences in my early childhood with particular groups of people and ‘friends’ that I was close to due to my parents’ relationships, which had a ‘better economic position’ than us and how many times I would swallow my experience toward them, my own anger, judgments and general irritation and envy within such friendships just because of not wanting to miss out the opportunity to go to the places where they lived and play with their games, and hang out in their homes which I perceived were better than my own and obviously, it was all based on the money that they had.

     

     

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    195. The Righteousness of Evil

     

    “And I questioned myself many times why it was like me wanting to simply ‘let go’ of such nagging experience, without realizing that it won’t just be ‘gone’ by me kind of only ‘thinking’ about it and coming to realizations like ‘oh yes, it’s the evil in me’ and turn around and keep going with my ‘life.’ Of course it cannot work like that, that’s precisely how we have lived as humanity, just wanting to brush-off, neglect and hide the actuality of our inner experience.”

     

    Continuation to 194. Let the Mask Fall!

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to every time that I would get into an experience of discomfort and general uneasiness within myself to not further investigate within me what was it that I was experiencing, but only brush it aside, believe it would ‘go away’ with time, thinking that I simply had to just breathe through it and not look as myself, my own creation, my own reflection– which is another way of simply trying to cover up my actual experience by creating another ‘state of being,’ which would compensate the inherent inner experience of there being something ‘nagging’ within me that I apparently could not ‘define,’ with a positive experience as righteousness.

    I realize that I did this without realizing that it was in fact the beingness of myself that was not being looked at in fact as the actual thoughts, backchat and internal conversations that I would righteously believe were ‘right’ and a proper ‘assessment’ of reality, never ever considering how everything that I was thinking and creating an experience about, was never about the environment but it was always about myself only.

     

    When and as I see myself going into this ‘nagging/ discomfort’ within myself in my every day living – no matter where or with whom – I stop and I breathe – I realize that there is Something going on that Must Not be just ignored, as it is actually an indication that I’ve been thinking about something and not wanting to look at it, as that would mean actually facing the reality of myself as the thoughts, ideas, projections that I usually participate in, but that I had righteously believed is ‘proper’ and ‘acceptable’ for me to just ‘let be’ and continue going. I realize that All thoughts, All backchat, All experience that I might initially see as ‘indefinable’ actually has a beginning/ a starting point Within/ As Me that I must work with within myself to actually face the reality that I’ve become, instead of wanting to brush it off/ leave it for later and believe it is Not-important, while it is in fact in those seemingly ‘unimportant moments’ that the key to get to know the exact detail of myself really resides in.

     

    I commit myself to stop brushing aside, leaving for later the immediate self-investigation through writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application about an inner experience that I have generally defined as ‘nagging/ bothering’ which has remained undefined due to me not having deliberately worked with such experiences as an active part of my process out of Fearing seeing the reality of myself, but only believe that it will go away eventually by simply ‘not participating’ – I realize that One cannot just ‘not participate’ in it and believe it will go away, but see that if it is Here and coming up within me as an energetic experience – no matter how slight it may be – it is still indicating a point that I have to look at.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately diminish the actual inner experience that I termed as just ‘undefined/ bothering/ nagging’ experience as this ‘something’ that would eventually go a way and within this diminishment, creating further separation to see myself As that experience, because of the fear of looking at myself As such thoughts, experiences and assessments, without realizing how it is time to start digging into the ‘hidden corridors and dark places’ as I was suggested to do years ago in order to no longer be bound to a barrier that I’ve created toward what I see within myself and what I see ‘toward others’ as separate from me. Thus it is to realize that everything that I have held as a limitation toward Life in Equality as Evil, as the reverse of life – which includes morals, beliefs, ideas, preferences, judgments, backchat toward ‘others’ and reality as a whole – is what I have to take back to self, in order to stop projecting a point of separation through an assessment in my mind instead of taking responsibility for myself As it.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an identity of ‘righteousness’ within my mind assessments wherein within allowing such experiences, backchat and ‘views’ upon reality became a way to also ‘slip in’ points of personality and the self religion that are the threads that are still binding me to that single aspect of myself that is not yet standing as an equal and one part that I have walked through a process of self forgiveness and self corrective application – thus in essence, still keeping some ‘Evil’ as the reverse of life for the benefit of who I am as the mind, leaving it ‘untouched’ as if it had to be ‘there’ for the benefit of my own self-believed righteousness that cannot obviously make sense other than keeping me bound to a limited existence as the mind only and not being willing to stand in the face of the ‘opposite’ as myself as well.

     

    When and as I see myself becoming righteous about what I am thinking and experiencing and believing that I can just ‘let it be’ for the moment and only later on end up forgetting it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the specificity with which I have to become aware of myself is now requiring me to not just ‘leave things for later/ aside’ whenever the least energetic experience is Here as an indication that there is a point to work with, which will be mostly regarding something that is still an aspect I have not dared to look within myself, because of having lived a life of constantly projecting/ assessing/ analyzing others without seeing how it all was in fact about myself.

     

    I realize the nagging experience has been going through quick processes of assessing the moment as people, places, events, situation wherein I quickly ‘make up my mind’ about who I am within such experiences/ moments and within that, not allowing me to see that everything that I have in fact assessed is only revealing me to myself, as it cannot be ‘how things are’ when getting an experience out of it – thus it is to not look at it as separate from me, as this is the grave mistake that I’ve made and lived as the evil wherein I had washed my hands from ‘assessing’ reality, while neglecting the fact that I have to work with the point myself in order to then be aware of ‘who I am’ as such point, walk the correction and as such, be able to support myself and others equally not from the vantage point of simply judging, but identifying who am I within this assessment, what is my experience, walk the correction so that I can stand clear and self directive instead of reacting to my own suppressed patterns and projecting it onto others/ reality.

     

    I realize that the most effective way to walk this process is always taking the points back to self in order to see if there is any experience coming up and within this, being willing to face Within Me that which I thought, believed or consider ‘does not exist in me,’ which is a defense mechanism of the mind in order to remain in a righteous position about myself in reality, which can only exist as ego.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in this prefabricated/ default position of being ‘good/ right’ and always having the ‘right assessment’ over myself and reality wherein anything/ anyone that may contradict so would be assessed as them speaking of their own weakness, without realizing that such weakness and assessment to ‘win over’ the situation is in fact the aspects that stand as the evil that do not allow ourselves to get to an equal agreement of how to proceed/ work as equals in order to coexist within principles that are best for all, instead of creating further conflict and hidden judgment and accumulation of experiences Toward other beings, simply because of not allowing ourselves to let go of the righteousness that is indicating the ego of the mind of ‘always being right’ as opposed to walking in humbleness which means being willing to face ourselves as the actual evil-assessment/ backchat/ thoughts toward an event, person/ situation to in fact see what it is that we are still playing out as a character that always wants to win/ be right / get the most out of a situation, which is always the aspect that leads to an unequal result.

     

    When and as I see myself being righteous about a position without taking the necessary moment to bring the point back to myself, place myself in the shoes of the person/ situation, realize who I am within it and how I can direct it to an equal and one outcome that will always result in what’s best for all.

     

    I commit myself to realize that whenever I am making an assessment of my reality is an actual mirror of myself and what I am existing as, and as such, if this assessment contains an energetic experience/ possession about something or someone, it is indicating that I am not yet standing clear as one and equal to the point, but that I require to first look at myself as such assessment, walk the necessary self forgiveness in order to realize that the experience is not about the being/ situation/ event in itself, but it’s actually myself and an indication that I require to take responsibility for my reaction/ experience before allowing myself to make a decision on how to direct myself. Within this is to ensure that I take the necessary moment/ time for this, instead of wanting to immediately come up with a solution that is also part of the ego-rushing desire to do things right away/ immediately which leads to further time loops is there is not an ability yet to see directly in an equal and one consideration of the situation/ people/ event.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a constant denial of these ‘assessments’ made toward other beings being in fact only about myself and within this, believing that I had nothing to ‘do about it’ because it was apparently ‘not me’ – however, it is actually an indication of the self-righteousness that exist toward our identification with our thoughts/ experiences having a ‘right to exist’ instead of realizing that as long as I am taking a position that is only benefitting my own deliberate neglect to who I am as my mind, I am in fact not standing equal and one to my reality/ environment and require to take the point back to self, to ensure that I am actually seeing Myself first, correcting me first instead of immediately projecting it onto others to not do the process of self-correction myself, which is rather foolish when looking at it as is.

     

    When and as I see myself denying seeing myself within every single thought and experience that I have projected onto others – I stop and I breathe – I realize that who I have become is nothing else but the accumulation of these thoughts and experiences that I have projected onto others in means of defending myself as my own mind from realizing that I am in fact all of which I think about ‘others’/ an external point and reality. Thus

     

    I commit myself to see how as long as there are points that I am not immediately taking back to self to walk the process of self correction, the nagging experience will continue as it is the accumulation of me having brushed aside/ left for later/ deliberately neglected moments where the actual key to realizing who I am as the person/ environment/ situation exists as myself – this is within the understanding that as long as I hold a right/ wrong and good/bad position toward another, I am still reflecting the limited version of myself that is not yet fully standing equal and one as everything and everyone, no matter how ‘harsh’ or how ‘bad’ or how ‘evil’ it may seem, as it is precisely the harsh, evil, bad, negative, pessimistic aspect that I have projected and dissociated from myself in my mind so as to not have to take responsibility for it – thus I commit myself to take responsibility for every single thought, belief, idea of myself as being ‘right’ and ‘the good person’ at all times with the ‘right judgment’ which leads to a ego position that is not willing to look at ‘the bad/ negative/ pessimistic’ that I must ensure I walk as myself in order to not allow such judgments to stand in the way of becoming a point that is able to stand one and equal to all parts of reality without separation – and this is what it is to be facing the ‘Evil’ as ourselves, as I finally understand that as long as we keep the least idea, belief or perception of something/ someone being a single definition that stands in separation of ourselves as equals, I am part of the separation that maintains this entire world system as is.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the righteousness that I’ve held has been in fact the evil aspect that has refrained me from standing one and equal as everything/ all here, because as long as I hold a value, judgment, belief and thought projected onto others believing that it is not about myself, the righteousness is preventing my own self-understanding/ seeing as one and equal – which indicates the reverse of Live as Evil that must be scrutinized as our own mind which actually allows me to see every moment what is it that I am separating myself from, as these are all indicated through the thoughts, experiences and reactions I hold toward others/ reality which is myself.

     

    When and as I see myself believing that I am not responsible for the thoughts that I have because of them being an ‘assessment’ upon others/ reality, I stop and I breathe  I realize that self responsibility for everything we do, say, speak must be absolute so that I can in fact stand as an equal and one part of myself – because as long as a single value, judgment, belief, thought, experience is created upon reality, it indicates that personality/  ego is still being the directive force and not self as the unconditional stance of the physicality that I  am.

     

    I commit myself to take the necessary breaths and moment to ensure that whatever I voice/ think and do is standing as an expression of myself that I can stand as for eternity – and that my single belief of this being ‘too far fetched’ to say ‘eternity’ is actually a point of ego that I must also walk through in order to stand as the full authority that I’ve abdicated as part of the evil/ reverse of living that I have believed myself to be wherein I have been limiting my own Write-ousness to right myself as that which I am willing to be/ stand as life/what is here as myself, without the ‘nagging’ limitation of me being only ‘in a process’ and placing the point of self realization as some ‘future outcome’ instead of seeing it as myself, here, as  I breathe, one and equal. 

     

     

    Now, this is  a general Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application with regards to who I have been as a particular character that would stand as righteous within the ‘good/ positive’ aspect, taking a vantage position within that in order to not have to face every single judgment I made upon others as myself. Thus, the next step and process is to the denial of the evil within my reality and how I would only ‘cope with it’ existing in actual fear to realize that exists as myself as well, also who I am toward the relationships that I formed as a point of attraction due to the separation that I was existing as toward my own ‘evil side’ myself, and as such creating an energetic relationship to it through people/ things/ habits/ places, etc.  in order for me to not have to face it as myself, but always remain on the ‘safe side’ of the observer that is mostly an egotistical position toward our reality, as we cannot claim we are not part of something that is already here as ourselves.

     

    Thus, I’ll continue deconstructing the righteousness/ goodness personality in relation to the ‘evil’ projected onto others/ the world instead of seeing it directly first as myself and walking the self correction within it to finally stand as one and equal to all parts and all aspects of myself.

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