Tag Archives: apathy

239. Preventing Failures in Life

 

I Know I can do it – a full potential that can only exist in our minds  if it’s not lived as the totality of who we are here in one single moment that it can be placed into physical/ practical living application- otherwise we then simply become great parrots.

 

Through reading Heaven’s Journey To Life, I realized that this ‘I Know’ is no different to hope and having ‘faith’ in oneself which is a synonym of inaction and further waiting for something/ somehow being able to direct ourselves in the future, and in the meantime the ‘I Know’ remains as a point of security – as mentioned in the previous blogs, a false-confidence that serves no purpose other than holding a thoughtful-assertiveness without any physical results that prove it to be so in fact.

 

Continuing from:

230. Opposing My Roots

 

So, I’ve been debunking this self-belief of intelligence as just that: an accepted and allowed tag as ‘who I am’ that is no different to any other category we tend to reduce ourselves to. Therefore within this self-belief it is no different to holding the idea of a god in our minds having some form of power over others – same when I say ‘I Know I can Do it’ but not do it.

 

Memory within the ‘I Know I Can’ Character – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

 

Event/ Memory: Being worried, stressed out, anxious about an exam when I was either in 2nd or 3rd grade primary school and my mother saw me all worried about it and told me ‘You Know You Can, others that really can’t should worry, but not you’  within this creating a sense of security within the acknowledging of another that ‘I can’ because I simply didn’t trust myself – and from this moment on, I would hear the same words in my mind the moment I would go into any form of stress about exams or any other academic point wherein my ‘performance’ was going to be measured. Within this, it became like a ‘magical motto’ that I would use to gain confidence but never really dissected what was it that was implied within this single ‘You know you can’ statement that became my ‘I Know I Can.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to base a security of who I am according to Knowing what I am capable of based on previous results and experiences of getting a high-grade with certain ease wherein I would realize that stressing out was not required since I would always excel, which became a conceited way of existing as a knowledgeable character wherein I became of this knowledge-ego as myself as this certainty that became a self belief, creating a consequence of me really not being self-honest with myself because I stopped giving ‘it all’ that I could based on comparing myself to Others that would be in a much ‘lesser position’ and accordingly, measure my abilities/ capabilities as always remaining ‘on top’ but only through ranking systems wherein I stopped pushing myself further to actually develop skills or improve myself, but create a form of mediocrity wherein all that mattered is that I ‘knew’ how to do it,and would do it but that was it, there was no longer any push or drive because in my eyes and at the eyes of others, I was apparently already ‘good enough’ or ‘intelligent’ so

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a self belief of ‘knowing’ which eventually became only a fluffy ego self-belief without any form of actual work, substance behind it, becoming this façade as personality that people would identify myself with, without me precisely working on actually being/ becoming a ‘better person’ according to my standards then, but just keep myself ‘on top’ to remain within that position at the eyes of others, but knowing within myself that I wasn’t really ‘giving my all’ and developing further skills and abilities, it only became an ego-driven effort to ‘keep my spot’ but not actually do it for myself for the purpose of actually expanding and learning more about myself,  within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become apathetic when it came to all things school, because within this ego of ‘I know it all’ everything became too repetitive within my mind, too useless, too dull and boring because of me believing that I was ‘at the top’ and there was nothing else to aspire to within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own predictability of becoming someone ‘great’ within the world system just like all the other kids with ‘great grades’ such as what I had back then, and because of deeming this ‘excelling’ within the system as something that I had to do but also resisted/ feared, I ended up opting for an ‘unexpected choice’ in life wherein I did all I could to dedicate myself to studies that had nothing to do with ‘being intelligent’ apparently, only spiting my own character and ending up trapped in my own web  – so to speak  – because of this choice being made out of spite and ended up spiting myself and getting caught in my own regret as another for of stagnation – which is unacceptable, because I was indeed the one that made the decisions and in no way are such decisions being considering what’s best for all, but only spite the entirety of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had ‘nothing else to do’ or nothing else to be or become because I had it ‘too easy’ and as such, would get the same experience in any school or career because the problem was not the school or what I chose to study but my starting point and self experience within it and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the careers I chose, the people I chose to be with, the likes and preferences I developed and essentially the totality of my choices in life as something that ‘didn’t work,’ without realizing that all of that was simply according to who I accepted and allowed myself to be as this knowing-character with no practical living considerations of what would actually be self supportive in self honesty, because I am well aware that I only sought my ‘highest excitement’ within my choices in life – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make my choices in life as to what to study, who to establish relationships with, what to be ‘inclined’ to learn more about, the ‘type of personality’ that I became was all driven by/ through energy as the mind that sought a point of excitement within what I perceived as a dull life experience, within this not realizing that I deliberately sought to create a form of inner conflict to ‘make my life more entertaining’ as in having something to be sad about/ be regretful and essentially trapped in my own mind bubble of regrets, without realizing that no matter which choices I would have made, I was going to end up in the same position because there was no principle established in order to live in self honesty and within the consideration of self support, because that didn’t exist in my frame of reference back then. Thus,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and blame others in my past and all the influences that I had throughout my life for having made the choices and decisions that I made, without realizing that it was only me that participated fully and fool-y within/ as them, playing the character for myself and others while holding a high expectation that was only sustained as a self-belief – not real as an actual physical movement of which one could only get the basics that would allow me to keep such position in place, but within me I Know that I didn’t quite give it ‘all’ myself as an actual self-movement, which ensued apathy and dullness within myself toward anything having to do with being ‘creative’ or ‘good’ at something, not realizing that these energetic experiences were the consequential opposite outflow of first having chosen my career and studies based on an energetic high where no 1+1 was considered and I am fully responsible for that, and well aware of it, wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make decision in life based on energetic experiences of wanting to seek my ‘feel good’ point as a certain character/ personality that ‘I knew’ I could fulfill, without ever actually taking this decision and projecting it to see what are the practical points that I can employ myself in and being realistic about it according to how the world system works, which shows/ reveals that I wasn’t in my 5 senses when I made the decision, but was existing as this ‘fluffy’ type of self-belief of me ‘Knowing that I can make it’ as this self-faith and self-belief of being ‘capable of doing anything I can’ but never really testing out and walking the practical physical considerations of what I would be able to work in and do within these careers and actually Do it as an informed decision – but, I didn’t hence the consequences.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my mother’s words in a similar vein to the ‘you know you an do it,’ type of self-belief and hearing ‘you are going to be great no matter what you do,’ and in this believe that I could in fact excel and be the best ‘no matter what I do’ which is what positive thinking and talk lead to: creating a self-hope and self-faith of being potentially able to be the best wherever and whatever we do and become – which is not a ‘bad’ thing in itself, but how I lived those words as a form of false-certainty with no practical application.

I realize that within these words that became backchat, I became only a character that could live-out these self definitions within the law of the least effort wherein my results were compared toward others and within this, living up to simply ‘maintaining’ the character but not really being here as myself being self-directive in everything that I do, which is what we tie ourselves to within this world system: remaining as that specific character For others and neglecting an actual self-development to our fullest potential, which is not even encouraged within our current education system either no matter how many ranks and studies one may have, it is still within the confinement of a selective-preparation that one can do wherein the actual beingness of the person is  – most of the times – not regarded, but only accumulating further knowledge and information as a form of ‘betterment’ that has never been based on actually supporting a human being to become a Living being in the consideration of equality as life or any other living principle that we can live by for the betterment of all – in essence, a blatant self-belief with no actual practical application.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to elevate myself to my own expectations of being ‘good’ at whatever I decide to do, and take these words as an actual ‘positive statement,’ without realizing that if I would not in fact investigate in a practical physical matter what I would want to do, it would only became just another energetic-driven experience with no self awareness of the practical use of my decisions in life for an actual betterment of life.  Within this

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ranking system in the school system more creates a sense of specialness/ uniqueness toward those with ‘high grades’ without really providing with an actual education and support toward actually being/ becoming something and someone that provides with an actual insight of the necessary points to change/ implement within this society for a common betterment, because none of this has been propagated or taught in schools, which then places into question the entire schooling system in itself, wherein if what’s best for all is not placed as the common-goal within any field of studies, then: what are we actually supporting as ‘education’? Who are we becoming within this education system within such terms and conditions of not really aiming at doing what’s best for all? Is then a so-called intelligent person within this system that is not aiming at supporting life in equality an actual honorable definition of what Intelligence should be in this world’? No, it only becomes a synonym of being well trained to not ask questions, seek your permanent status within such ‘higher ranks’ in society, get well paid about it, become an example for others to follow which is what enables the system to be perpetrated generation after generation, no one questioning what these ‘higher ranks’ in society are actually based and founded upon.

 

Within this all, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live out as an ego that believes can excel in ‘everything I decide to do,’ wherein it mostly became a sense of ingrained superiority against others as the primary self experience of ‘knowing better/ knowing more’ and creating this security based on what others believe me to be – only to then find myself obviously dismantling the entire self belief and realizing that if we look at what I actually did is nothing but just surfing on the ranks to maintain a mediocre superiority status for the sake of ‘keeping my spot’ as being intelligent/ responsible person, but the Who I was within such results was not really here as a self-directive being, actually doing it fully and whole heartedly, because I actually within this ‘having faith’ within myself, eventually ‘lost faith’ within myself and everything/ everyone, which became this constant apathetic self experience toward the world as the usual cycles of ‘what’s the use in this,’ without realizing that this is the ‘nitty gritty’ point that I often hit as a continuous cycle once that ‘I know how it will all end anyways’ wherein I actually become the predicament of my own thinking processes, wherein we trap ourselves within our own loops of ‘knowing how it all ends’ and blindly driving ourselves to repeat the same experiences over and over again with no change – why? Because who I am within what I do is not fully self-honest as the realization that I had never in fact lived and that all I pretended to ‘know’ and be able to project an outcome of was only a way to ‘give up’ on myself before even starting, give up on any actual self-motivation because of seeing the world as just ‘too fucked’ to have any change be possible –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold on to a belief deep inside that there is no way we can change humanity, which is the ingrained ‘doomsday’ type of self-experience that I became wherein I mostly lived up to others’ expectations but not really placing all my beingness and effort and self-direction toward an actual living, doing all that I can to in fact develop myself further in a certain area or activity, just because of still holding on to this self-doom shadow as a constant presence of ‘nothing that you do will work, will make a difference’ which translates into an ingrained dullness and apathy within myself, giving up before even trying and just keeping a certain ‘standard’ but not really physically directing myself to for the first time motivate myself to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop challenging myself in life just because of believing that I have gotten to the ‘peak’ too fast and there was nothing else to ‘attain’ and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate life to an ‘attainment’ of sorts, believing that being alive was a synonym of getting ‘high’ in any form of rank of what ‘success’ is now measured within this world and reality, and within that realizing success for what it is, spiting it/ doing all I could to not become that, but only within an energetic-spite that then became as a hopelessness and uselessness wherein it did not matter how much I ‘knew’ it was ‘useless’ because it was never being placed within the consideration of what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of taking responsibility for our creation as this world system, create an experience about it, which is like complaining about our own fuckup as a form of victimization to not actually take self responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself creating an Experience about our current world condition based on ‘what I Know,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am only focusing on my own self experience and use it as an excuse to not move, instead of simply moving, doing and directing myself to face the consequences of which I am absolutely self responsible for in an equal manner, consider what’s best for all and direct myself as it, physically – not thinking about it.

 

I realize that the perceived ‘apathy toward living’ is only an elitist self-experience that we are able to embody because we are secluded in this minute bubble of self-experience where the reality and the actual suffering in this world that is existent within everyone that have no access to money is simply disregarded, no considered – which proves how this apathy, hopelessness, helplessness and uselessness is only an egotistical experience wherein we are only looking at ‘how we FEEL about life/ our reality’ and create this entire self experience accordingly, instead of actually looking at the world physically, understand the flaws, understand how Nothing has worked in the past as a point of change and see where we have missed ourselves as living beings within it all.

 

I see, realize and understand that within this ‘knowing’ point, we diminish ourselves to our own self-beliefs as limitations that are and have never been based upon an actual consideration of Life, because Life is not a knowing but a living.

 

Within this, it is to currently realize that we have to walk the transition point from knowledge and information and all the characters we’ve become around this self-belief system of fake values, and individually walk our own self correction to establish a self-honest starting point within Anything that we are currently doing – because I realize that no matter what choices I would have made in life, I would have lead myself to the same ‘uselessness’ experience where nothing seems  to work, nothing seems to make a difference because nothing of what is currently existing in this world is Meant to/ designed to/ created to make an actual difference in this world. Therefore

 

I commit myself to Live the realization that no matter where I am, what I do and the choices I make, nothing of what currently exists as the past and the old system that we are still living in is designed to ‘work’ and ‘function’ and be suitable for an actual birthing of life – because this IS precisely our task, our duty, our point of responsibility and within this

 

When and as I see myself ever again getting to the point of ‘oh but nothing I do will change anything within the world/ others’ without realizing that it is so, nothing will change and nothing will move if our starting point remains within the same old ‘starting point’ of this entire world system as it exist today, wherein nothing is veered toward an actual functional best for all outcome. Thus I realize that that is our work, that is our duty, that is our self responsibility that will not emerge ‘by magic’ but has to actually be conducted within self awareness of the required changes in the system in order to then be able to align ourselves to that which will create  a substantial point of support for ourselves and others in this world.

 

I realize that there will be no quick fixes or results either, as such ‘quick results/ fixes’ exist only as a mind-interpretation of reality wherein no actual physical processes have been considered, nor any form of actual relationship that exists within ourselves toward each other and all the other living species, which then places into question how we have in fact never lived, because we have only ever equated ourselves to fulfill the same old standards within a system that has never really in fact functioned to support life.

 

Thus I commit myself to live the understanding and realization that a Knowing can only stand within the past of everything that we have been and become, and that nothing of this has ever in fact been living-conditions for each other – and that the motivation to then actually live won’t come as a Knowing of anything that we’ve been in the past, but must be walked s a practical living daily application of letting go of everything that we Believe we know and instead, walk ourselves through a process of re-directing ourselves to consider physical reality outcomes and current systematic transitions wherein yes, we are in this world, we have to still present a knowledgeable act but! who we are within ourselves is an awareness of this being a single ‘transition period’ that we have to walk through, facing our failures and manifested consequences and within doing so, concomitantly paving the way for a new ay of living and existing, as I see and realize that the process of birthing ourselves as life won’t have any ‘precedents’ within this system, it is an absolute self movement within the realization that it isn’t preprogrammed, it won’t come ‘easy’ or it won’t be defined according to ‘who I have been’ in my past. It is entirely subject to my own self movement here in every moment of breath.

 

Thus, from the past we can take what is useful and what can be molded/ shaped or corrected in its starting point to be able to function within the Equality System as the Equal Money System, wherein people won’t be regarded as ‘more’ for knowing what everyone will be equally capable of living/ doing – but instead, we will focus on supporting ourselves to develop practical skills that are readily useful to sustain ourselves in this world system as equals – no more hierarchical ranks in schooling systems of any kind.

 

I commit myself to stop existing in this self-hope of ‘I know I can’ but instead stop the past within myself by realizing that I don’t require to have this self-positive-talk as assertiveness, but simply direct myself to do it, within the consideration of having to walk through the past in order to correct it here as myself.

 

I commit myself to stop regretting the choices I’ve made in life and believing that they lead me to failure, without realizing that all in this world is currently failing and that the only way that we can stand up for ourselves is walking through this failure, facing the consequences and concomitantly living the solution within our living application of doing, being, proposing what is Best for All.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that we have to walk through the past, give it an actual ‘good riddance’ as a self-corrective process to face what we have become, what we left behind and everything we ‘Know’ but didn’t act upon and instead, give ourselves a start from scratch in order to actually build/ create what we are willing to stand equal and one to as our self-awareness creation, to no longer have to create a ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ experience about ourselves and ‘who we are’ within this world, but instead simply focus on aligning ourselves to be and become equal contributors to a best for all outcome in this physical reality – no more and no less, using the knowledge and information that can provide us with actual insights and data that we can consider in order to establish a world system based in Equality, the same process that we can apply for ourselves to not maximize our capabilities only at a thought level, but rather physically supporting ourselves and each other to ground such potentials toward an actual doing that ensues a result that benefits the whole in equality.

 

To be continued…

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The following illustration depicts this point, it is only going back to the ground wherein we can rebirth ourselves from scratch. It is then quite obvious how we could not be able to make ourselves ‘succeed’ from the starting point of everything we have believed ourselves to be. This is our equal point of starting from scratch, and this is how no one can possibly be ‘more’ than others  or ‘more advanced’ as nothing in this world can possibly provide such advancement without the illusion of progress being tainted by self-abuse.

Time to live in common sense and realize that every breath is our equal-starting point as physical beings that can direct ourselves to live the words we write/ speak in common sense – this will prevent any form of perceived ‘failure’ in this world system, as we have all in fact already failed to live as equals – hence, the willingness to walk this self-corrective process: there is no way out of this, we have to face our creation.

 

Good riddance to any form of laureate past since everything we have done and become in this world has been based and founded upon abuse, there is no way to keep any form of honor within what we’ve become as that would be ego and self separation.

 

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179. Apathy as result of High Expectations

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate anxiety and fear when thinking and backchatting myself about the possible outcomes of having to present my work to other people and them assessing that it is not ‘good enough’/ that it is not suitable for this career, that it has nothing to do with what I am supposed to be writing about – without realizing that these thoughts are actually quite absurd when considering how it is that I have created these judgments within me as backchat that I would use in order to convince me that there is ‘no point’ in doing it, within it hitting the excuse and justification of uselessness as a reaction of apathy leading to the cycle of procrastination.

 

Within this I realize that my reaction of apathy and immediate neglect to what is required to be done is in fact me not having been Here as Breath – but instead talking to myself in my mind as all the negative reasons why I would Not want to get this work done due to having to actually Do It. I breathe and go into the next self forgiveness as a reaction to this realization:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in shame and regret as a form of now feeling ‘bad’ about everything that I did and I didn’t do, without realizing that in this, I am only creating yet another experience to cover up the immediate responsibility at hand, which is part of the reactions that I used to justify my inaction and commitment to do things – due to, instead of realizing that it must be done, going into further thinking/ backchat of all the future play outs and the supposed ‘validity’ of the work in itself, without realizing that any writing in itself will be supportive to se me, no matter in which ‘sphere’ of my reality it takes place in.

 

When and as I see myself going into shame and regret for all the time wasted and not lived to give proper direction to myself and my work to be done – I stop and I breathe I realize that facing the consequences of what I accepted and allowed is inevitable – however, going into an experience over it in no way supports and assists me to physically move – thus I stop any point of further self-manipulation to find reasons, excuses and justifications as to why I didn’t move – without realizing that such reasons, justifications and excuses only stand as a further deviation of the physical task at hand.

I realize that I have often used this same mechanism when realizing the points that must be done and instead of simply breathing, stabilizing myself physically here, I go into further judgment and justification as all the reasons, excuses, explanations that I try to ‘give a meaning/ value to’ in my mind, which only stand as a defense to protect my own self interest of ‘not wanting to accept having made a mistake/ having fucked it up’ – as that goes ‘against my idea of self,’ which is precisely what we are walking this process for: to see, realize and expose to ourselves to what extent we are able to lie ourselves continuously in order to protect a mechanism of self interest wherein the ‘who we are’ as the perfect/ ideal I have of myself in my mind, is always ‘spotless’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want to place myself as a ‘considerate person’ whenever I would go into the negative backchat and within this considering that my reactions such as immediate fear and anxiety could not remain ‘within me’ as ‘who I am’ which is how I would immediately seek for another point to keep me ‘balanced out’ in my mind, wherein ‘my score’ would remain untainted by this one task I was not directing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within reacting in fear and anxiety to face one single aspect and task of my life, generate a complete callous experience toward it, of seemingly it not being ‘important’ and prioritizing other things in my mind, because within doing this, I would keep myself in a ‘safe spot’ of doing things right, properly, without realizing that even the input/ drive to do other things Instead of physically directing me to get this task done was motivated by my own desire to ‘even myself out’ in my mind, wherein even if I knew that I was not getting this task done, I would then create another task/ activity as a supplement to ‘even out’ my sense of remaining a ‘responsible being’ because of ‘doing this other thing/ taking this other responsibility’ – without realizing how I was in fact being selective within this process in order to suit my needs of self interest, to remain with a positive reputation in my mind at the eyes of other and myself, while deliberately knowing that there is this ‘chunk of things’ to direct and do, and that it won’t certainly just ‘go away’ by wishing it so or positively thinking.

 

When and as I see myself reacting with fear of losing my reputation as a responsible being when realizing I am Not directing myself appropriately – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is stemming from a defense of my ‘ego’ as this precious thing that I’ve created for myself to remain with a ‘positive stance’ toward people in my world and within myself in my mind, wherein it is no different to talking myself positively in order to create a positive experience for taking other responsibilities and neglecting others that are also important and priority in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself thinking ‘But! Instead of doing this work, I am doing that other work which is Also important’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that me doing the ‘balancing out’ wherein I try to even points in order to compensate for what I realize I am not doing, is another trick of the ego to always keeps itself ‘winning’ and ‘on top’ and ‘stable’ and even with a false sense of ‘calmness’ that is like a pill taken to soothe the initial shot of anxiety and fear experienced every time that the backchat ‘I am not doing this’ would be manifested not even as thoughts but as a physical doing of just side sweeping it right away, not giving any ‘second thought’ to actually do it, but simply get on to the rest of the things to do which I have defined myself to be ‘comfortable’ in doing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an experience of apathy and general dullness when thinking about doing this written work, as the result of the backchat such as ‘what’s the point for this?’ wherein I realize that I am placing a condition to my movement to do things based on the outcome/ result which is an expectation created according to what I would ‘want’ to get from it.

When and as I see myself thinking the backchat ‘what’s the point for this’ and going into apathy and idleness in that moment, I stop and I breathe  – I realize that seeking for a particular outcome that could satisfy my desire for positive experience is another way to sabotage my self-movement as an unconditional one, as a self-willed realization that this must be done regardless of any result or outcome.

I commit myself to be unconditional in my self movement in the physical regardless of the task I have at hand, as I realize that equalizing myself as the physical is not judging the task to be done as either ‘good for me’ or ‘more valuable’ or ‘less important,’ as I realize that within the assessment in common sense of what I have to do and what must get done, implies a physical consideration of it to be done as part of a responsibility or a practical functionality for myself and others in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in apathy and even defeatism whenever having the backchat ‘ I’m not good enough within this career/ what difference will it make to others what I have to say here?’  which is rather a product of self manipulation wherein I am giving into ‘thinking’ my doing based on how it will be received/ viewed and valued/assessed by others, making of this future backchat projection ( lol ) a single obstacle in my mind to simply then turn my back on this work, because of me secretly wanting and desiring and still keeping this belief of me having to ‘change other people’s minds about themselves’ through this particular work/ task that I have to complete. Within this it is seeing how I have created my own condition of ‘If I can be praised/ glorified’ within my mind based on the reception this work will get, then I gladly do it’ – but when there is no certainty of this, I then go into a negative experience toward it in order to  create an experience of being ‘not good enough’ and backchatting myself about it, simply because of expecting a reward that satisfies my ego within this all.

 

When and as I see myself thinking ‘I’m not good enough within this career/ what difference will it make to others to read/ hear what I have to say here?’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this I am placing a condition to my self-writing, my own physical process of doing things based on a future projection and assumption of how it will be received by others, instead of realizing that I have the absolute ability to simply write within the direction that I already see and realize I am capable of giving myself as the simplicity of opening the document and continuing writing – instead of allowing imagination, future projections, backchat and an overall reaction of uselessness and defeatism to be ‘more’ than myself and my will to move and direct me here.

 

I commit myself to stop going into future projections about the reception and how will ‘others’ read my words and what they will ‘think’ of my work and instead, simply direct myself to physically do it in the moment, as myself – directing-me to do it, regardless of expecting a positive or negative outcome of it, as I see and realize that within trapping myself in these two polarities, I condition my very physical to energy instead of realizing and living out the understanding of how the physical is able to move itself by simply the ‘force’ that I can redefine as self-movement instead of mind-energetic conditions to move that I had imposed onto the physical’s unconditional self movement.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘I’m wasting my time with this’ as an excuse to instead veer toward doing ‘something else’ – without realizing that the actual wasting of breath-time is whenever I am finding excuses and justifications to not do it, wherein I then create a positive experience of me not doing something based on the belief that ‘there is no use to it’ – thus creating and placing conditions to my self movement according to what I have defined as valuable and what I have defined as ‘not valuable’ and within this separation, actually missing the point of it all wherein I am waiting for something to be ‘productive’ for me to do instead of me doing and directing myself to ‘do it’/ be productive in the moment.

When and as I see myself thinking that ‘I am wasting my time on a task’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this stems from the inner value-system I have created toward tasks/ points that I have to do based on the experience that they create within me as either satisfying a positive experience in my mind or not, wherein I thus realize that anything that is generating a sense of ‘lack’ or wanting to do ‘something else’ instead, is already indicating that I am at the right place where there is no energy ‘flow’ within the doing of it, and as such, that all the points that come to my mind as something that I would ‘rather do’ are identified as mind-triggers for positive experience, which I must then debunk in order to see how my own value system of ‘preferred activities and tasks’ stems from the energetic experience I get of it , indicating that it is the mind that is seeking itself to have ‘time’ to satisfy itself instead of me as a self directive being directing myself to do things that will not cause me a positive or negative experience, but simply have to be done.

 

When and as I see myself then now attempting to go into a positive experience for ‘moving’ through this procrastination point, I stop and I breathe – I realize that making it a positive experience because ‘yay I am moving!’ is also a mind experience to still create positive energy within this – thus I commit myself to be absolutely clear and stable within me every moment that I go into the positive experience of stopping the procrastination character, as it would be rather futile to now make this stopping another mind experience – lol.

 

I commit myself to live Self Responsibility not only as a physical realization of having to ‘get things done’ but also within the understanding that every time that I give into energy – either positive or negative – to do/ not do things, I am abdicating my self-directive principle to move unconditionally and I am in fact abusing my physical body as every time that I create either a negative or a positive experience through thoughts manifesting either a positive or a negative experience, I am subjecting my physical body to be consumed by the mind that requires always to have an energetic fix which comes through the very physical-consumption of my physical body that is transformed into any of these experiences that I then believe is ‘who I am,’ which is unacceptable within the realization that physical movement is here as breath, therefore, as I breathe and simply make the decision to get the writing done/ to work on it I realize that there is no experience required within me, no judgment toward the task in itself, no future projection or conditional ‘result’ of it required, as I see and realize that all of these are mind-created obstacles wanting to get a positive outcome of it all which create a conflict upon that which can be simply physically done and directed.

 

I realize that the apathy experienced and deliberate ‘not doing’ a task stems from – within various other dimensions that I have probably yet to discover – having a future projection of a positive outcome within it, and within me generating this belief that there is no point to it/ not being good enough/ wasting my time to this. To understand more why thinking exists, listen to these two interviews that are vital in order to understand who we are within these ‘obstacles’ and what we are accepting and allow ourselves to be and have become within it all:

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-Tediousness

 

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174. Sinking in Reactions after Thinking and Not Doing

 

As mentioned in the previous blog, giving into an experience of the mind is asserting me as the thoughts that create such experience and as such, I’ll walk the specific experiences that emerge from the thoughts and as such, ensure that I walk every aspect of the dimensions walked to far in order to assist and support me to become aware of the energetic experiences I create from the negative to the positive in order to ‘make it alright’ in my mind to actually not do the task at hand, and still remain in a positive experience in my reality.

 

This is thus walking the Reaction dimension within the Postponement character.

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

- First prominent thought of ‘the office’ – imagination, backchat and reaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with an experience of tediousness when thinking/ having the thought of my professor’s office wherein I go into a sinking-in reaction of further participation in backchat with thoughts like ‘It’s going to take sooo long for it to get done, I rather not do it now’ and within this experience already giving up my ability to direct myself in the physical, stopping participation in the thought and the reaction as dullness/ apathy and tediousness that I create in that moment in order to justify my decision to ‘leave it for later,’ wherein I can see and realize that it is NOT my decision to ‘leave it for later’ but actually me giving into the negative experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness as a reason and justification to instead, seek to do that which I ‘would rather do’ which is something else that I have defined as a positive experience/ giving me a sense of ‘satisfaction’ according to the values placed/ given to other activities that I have defined as ‘more productive,’ without realizing the responsibility at hand that is in-fact here for me to walk and do, instead of seeking to do ‘something else instead’ that is clearly being defined as a ‘preferable task’ instead of what simply has to be done/ must be done.

When and as I see myself going into an experience of future projected tediousness, apathy and distress when going into the thought of the office, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I actually imprinted this experience of tediousness toward the office in itself due to having had to wait for my professor to be available outside the office and then going into the office with an accumulation of tediousness from having to wait outside for a while, which is then how the moment that I went into the office and imprinted that ‘first impression’ of his office with bright white light, sitting in front of him and handing my writing, I was experiencing myself with such dullness and tediousness due to me having had the backchat prior to entering the office in the lines of ‘This is how it’s going to be every time that I come here to revise my work, I’ll have to wait till he’s here/ he’s available, and it sucks’  thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate backchat and an experience of tediousness based on the moment prior to getting into my professor’s office due to the amount of time that I had to wait for him to be available and within that, being thinking that ‘I should have come another day/ another time’/ ‘this is going to take forever every time that I have to consult him’  and within this making an experience of having to wait for him to be available and in this, carrying this experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness into the office wherein in my mind, I captured the thought of ‘finally getting into the office’ with a mix of the ‘carried’ tediousness/ apathy and dullness of having waited outside and imprinting now an expectation as slight nervousness and even ‘controlled anxiety’ when finally facing him and handing my writings to be revised’

I realize that all of this is captured in one single though of the office being ‘loaded’ with the experience of tediousness, dullness for having waited outside of the office and then the accumulated expectation, nervousness and anxiety that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in within that first time/ moment of going to my professor’s office and as such, creating and imprinting this entire experience as ‘the revision time’ represented by the thought of the office with the bright white daylight, generating within me the same mix of dullness, fear, anxiety and tediousness whenever I think of ‘doing my writing’ and immediately come up with the thought of the office with the bright white light daylight coming through as a non-desirable experience within me.

 

When and as I see myself going to the office and creating and loading the future projection of the office and the experience of tediousness mixed with nervousness as an entire ‘negative experience’ within me – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am creating these experiences based on my own acceptance and allowance of thinking in the moment of going to the office and within the thinking, generating an experience that I ‘saved’ as a single thought linked to the physical action of revising my writings, and within this creating an entire experience of it all being something ‘I don’t want to do,’ which is manipulating myself to always only do and remain within a comfortable zone/ doing what I would ‘prefer’/ would rather be doing, without realizing that this is all my inner-mind tricks and manipulation tactics through fear and negative experiences in order for me to not simply physically do something. Thus

I commit myself to walk the process of actually stopping the thought of ‘the office and the white bright light image’ and the memory replay of me having waited for a long time before going inside as an entire ‘negative imprint’ to the physical action of taking my writings for revision, and within stopping, directing myself to actually work on my writings in order to be available and willing to share them/ go for a revision as a physical practical measure that is required to be taken within this process of me writing and requiring a revision in order to get feedback, which is also a requirement within this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to future project a moment within that office wherein I will be told that I simply have to ‘do it all over again’ as a negative experience that I have imprinted onto that moment of ‘revision’ that I have imprinted with a negative reaction within me of nervousness and anxiety that I actually accept and allow myself to go into just by playing out this future-scenario within my mind of ‘having to do it all over again’ without realizing that I have created this based on linking the word ‘revision’ to a negative experience within the belief that it means ‘doing everything all over again,’ which is in fact an exaggeration as I see and realize that this is only me in my imagination making everything ‘more’ than what it is, in order to use this imagination as an excuse to Not do things.

When and as I see myself reacting in nervousness and anxiety within the imagination of being sitting in that office and listening that I have to do it all over again, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just me playing a picture running in my mind that I am using as an excuse to not move – therefore

I commit myself to stop participation in that initial thought of the office and within this, stopping participation in the anxiety and nervousness that comes when imagining a play out that is  of a ‘negative outcome / negative in nature’ as I realize that I am here, in the physical moment having all that I require in order to get this task done – therefore I assist and support myself to get this task done in the physical as a movement I make, breathing through any reactions that I have participated in throughout an extended period of time.

I realize that when having accumulated the same imagination play out for an extended period of time, it will take me absolute directive principle to stop going into the same ‘comfort zone’ of imagining this entire play out as something negative that leads me to manipulate myself to instead, create a positive experience of what I could instead be doing in my reality, to not do the task at hand, which is unacceptable.

 

Thought of ‘the folder’ containing the writings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of absolute anxiety the moment that I see the folder in my documents in my computer containing all the writings and information for my writing, and within this immediately shifting my attention to ‘something else’/ some other document in order to shove away all the plethora of thoughts that I have accumulated over time in relation to ‘having to get this done,’ and actually not do it, but scroll down and or shift the window and continue with ‘other things’ that I have considered are more ‘comfortable’ to work with, that are ‘better things to do’ instead of tapping onto this writing, which is manipulating myself to believe that the experience of anxiety and nervousness is in fact real and as such something ‘difficult’ to walk through, without realizing that it is a matter of realizing that I have created this experience linked to the amount of time that I have procrastinated this particular task and as such, created into a single ‘fear’ of even looking at the folder due to this single action meaning that I have Not been self-responsible in all aspects in my world – hence the anxiety and nervousness when realizing the dishonesty toward written points that I have to direct in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself reacting with absolute fear and anxiety just by looking at the folder containing my writings, I take a deep breathe, I stop for a moment and realize that the moment is here to work with it and that all it physically takes is to click on it, open it and search for the latest version of my document in order to arrange what I have done, and take the necessary steps to update my current direction that I’ve been ‘intending’ to give the writing and that I can do so in this moment that I see and realize it must be done.

 

I commit myself to realizing that this only takes actually clicks on my mouse and physically typing which is something I consider I am quite comfortable doing, and within this stick to breath, focusing my attention on the points that are HERE to be faced and remain constant and consistent within my own awareness of what I am reading, what I am writing and keeping in ‘mind’ the direction of it all as a commitment to get this done.

 

I realize that the commitment to stop manipulation through all the negative experiences attached to one single point of writing the document and facing the revision is precisely a part of the ‘problem’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the two primary points as thoughts, imaginations loaded with backchat in relation to why I don’t want to do this/ why I could simply skip it this moment and do it later, and in this perpetuate a manipulation within myself and toward my reality, wherein all I see and realize remains is this ‘load’ that only grows day by day due to not having given proper direction to it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a reaction of absolute apathy toward something that simply has to be written, as I realize that I don’t require to be motivated with a positive experience to do things/ get things done, as I realize that only us as the mind have accepted and allowed ourselves to condition ourselves to only move if there is ‘something in it for us’ as a reward/ further positive experiences that we have given value to in order to ‘move’ and ‘be motivated’ within this

 

When and as I see myself believing that I have to have a motivation to move/ to write/ to get things done as a positive experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in my process of getting out of the mind and into the physical Self Will means no energy is required to move myself and such, I direct myself as the physical reality that is here to move/ direct and live as physical movements and that only me as a mind would require a positive experience as an incentive to move – thus I stop seeking for  a ‘reason’ outside of myself as a positive outcome/ reaction within me upon thinking about ‘I am going to do this’

 

I commit myself to realize that whenever I direct myself as the thoughts ‘I am writing this document’ that I do not participate in either a positive or a negative experience’ but simply realize that it is a physical and tangible point to direct in my reality and that in physicality we don’t require to manipulate ourselves with energy to get things done, we don’t require to fear to get things done, we don’t require to feel anxious or nervous within future play-outs of our experience within further imagination moments that we have given our power away to. This is a single decision to stop participating in energy as a demotivation/ motivation to do move in the physical reality.

I realize that by creating any experience upon something that must be done, I am not yet being fully Self-Directive as a physical being, which is then a necessary point to realize as a constant breathing process wherein I realize that all that I require as tools are here with me and that I’ve got both hands, my breath to move myself in the physical and that’s it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a general reaction of irritation and annoyance toward myself due to realizing and falling flat on the realization that I am being the only obstacle within this, and that I have been the one that has been ‘in front of my way’ all the time – thus

When and as I see myself creating an experience of irritation and further annoyance toward myself for not doing things, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is an unnecessary experience to go into within the realization that the only way to correct this is by doing it, instead of pulling out further experiences, abusing myself, my physical body and lashing it out ‘onto the world’ for something that I am fully aware I am responsible for.

I commit myself to establish myself as breath to not allow these ‘subtleties’ as annoyance irritation created within me and lashing it out onto others/ the world as I realize that I am the only one that is able to stop the experience and actually direct myself to what is required to be done in this particular task and that no matter how ‘angry’ I get at myself, only physically correcting the pattern will solve the problem – thus I am the ‘problem’ and I am the solution.

I commit myself to establish my self-discipline in relation to actually doing this as part of my daily routine without any excuses and justification that can create further experience upon having ‘written it out but not living it’ which is the morphed character that must be considered at all times in order to not re-create or further evolve the character by laying it out ‘nicely’ but not living it – and that is where Self Honesty resides.

 

I will continue with further reactions experiences within the entire walking of the procrastination character.

 

Reaction Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define WHO I AM into and as energy-experiences within and as an complete alternate reality, separate from/of my PHYSICAL BODY, never questioning “but, why – when I am IN this BODY in EVERY BREATH, do I not stand WITH it, AS it, in and as equality and oneness in being able to relate to it, communicate with it, “experience” it? Why am I existing in separation from it in a reality/system as the MIND as ENERGY that I do not have full context, comprehension or understanding of AT ALL, regarding where thoughts exactly come from, how energies are in fact created, why/how does things so seemingly automatically come up in my Mind that I have no control of?”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so readily FOLLOW energy-experiences and the personification of energy as the dimensions of Personality as thought, imagination, backchat, and behaviour so often that it’s become so “accepted” – that I never even stopped for a moment to consider how LITTLE I am in fact aware of my PHYSICAL BODY, my BREATHING and my communication, interaction and participation with others in this world/reality as ALL the living beings, organisms, micro-organisms – the actual LIVING REALITY that is here. – Sunette Spies*

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Day 57: Fogbound

There are times when we get to know/ understand what’s really going on in the world that it is almost impossible not to be ‘enveloped by a fog’ as if it all seemed too difficult to ever get to solve – and because we cannot see anything clearly, we standstill, we don’t move which is obviously the point to correct here. What I mean here is that I have become used to seeing ‘the whole picture’ – repeat PICTURE – in order to then have this ‘certain outcome’ which would be not living and directing myself as a Self-Willed being, but rather wanting to only attain/ obtain and experience myself in that picture, while missing the actual process to get there, which is the relevant point within this process, understanding Why we are doing this Self-Equality and Oneness Process as Existence: we have never ever lived as Equals, we have only existed as separation and for that, it was about ‘time’ that we got to see the manifested consequences of our inherent separation and now be willing to correct the fuckup from its primordial times. This won’t be an ‘easy-fix’ either, we are walking it the proper way and for that, we are all walking our individual processes where nothing will be initially perfect, because we have never ever directed ourselves to change the very nature of who we are as human beings. I also see that If I had existed 100 years ago and someone would have shown me in Virtual Reality what the world looks like now, I would have also thought that it was ‘impossible’ to get to such point of both the technological advancements/ general ‘picture’ presentation and the obvious consequence of it which is the absolutely horrid scenario of depletion, pollution, poverty and starvation.

 

Fogbound is such a clear word to define what I  experience when watching documentaries that reveal the state of absolute abuse toward the Earth, the Animal Kingdom, the general state of the world, like watching that trilogy of Koyaanisqatsi and not being overwhelmed by everything we’ve done as human beings. These are all mind-experiences and one thing that I learned  yesterday while hearing about Anu and the ‘Failure’ point is that it is definitely comprehensible to give ourselves some air to realize that we have never ever done this before, we have been so secluded in our little bubble wherein there has been no proper equal and one standing  our own mind, to our physical, to this world, to anything or anymore – literally just being mind organic robots and it is really grounding for any speckle of ego to accept this.

 

There are times when we feel ‘stuck’ – again an emotional experience – and that’s because we have been so used to always getting immediate results, having tasks done and completed in a way that we have made this world work as a drive-thru machine that contemplates profit and not life – getting a positive experience out of ‘accomplishing something’ that would make us more ‘worthy/ increase our trading-value’ within a system where all life has been made an asset. We have never slowed down, not in a world where ever decimal fraction of a second is counted to make profit in a production line. We have existed like that Ford T Line Production wherein everyone just focuses on ‘getting their task done’ and earning money for it and call it a job/ working, sometimes never knowing how that assembly process fits within the entire construction of the whole product = absolute alienation that extended beyond the work-job experience, but also within society wherein you earn money – you spend-  you eat- you ‘entertain’ yourself – you create a family – you work until you die – then you die. And repeat the same the next life: nothing else but batteries within this system.

 

What we are doing now is absolutely the opposite of anything capitalism: we are slowing down, we are learning how to care for each other as equals, we are not doing it for any form of ‘profit’ but to create sustainable environments that will sustain/ support many more people willing to support themselves/other as equals – which is like your ‘pay it forward’ movie – we are learning to dissociate from everything that would keep us occupied in our minds: useless thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, opinions that do not stand in the best interest of all life here in/as the physical reality; we are learning how to create relationships/ agreements that are Self-Supportive in the individuality required to stop all forms of co-dependency, instead of following through with the same repetitive short-lived experiences that begin with/ by desires, hopes and dreams that run dry very quickly once the sex is gotten and the money is gone. We are learning to educate ourselves not only in one single ‘field’/specialization of this reality, we are becoming holistic learners of this reality, with the REAL sense of what holistic means because we are getting education that no one has ever received in this world and that is now possible through all the material at eqafe, the Desteni I Process and every single blog, article, interview, post that you may find in all the various places Desteni and Equal Money System are located in the web. To place it shortly: we are learning how to live as Equality of Life for the very first time.

 

If anyone reading this asks themselves: oh but what have we done before then? We have only demoneyzed reality through seeing everything as Money, seeing all that is of the Earth not as unconditional resources that we can use to Live, but as products that we can put price tags on and make them ‘our own’ to sell them to others and make a ‘good business’ out of it. We have only seen convenient relationships to make us ‘feel good’ about ourselves and use that as a way to match it with the elusive desires to ‘make it’ as in being ‘successful’ in a world fabricated and staged to make Every-one seek the same thing, as that is what ‘activates the economy.’

 

 

We had not been living, we had just been killing time and I’ve just ripped of Thom Yorke for that, but it’s true. And before I continue wallowing in such depressive lyrics that would set the tonality for my days – every single day –in the past,  I realize that I can take everything that we have been as an example of what Not to promote in this world, what not to continue perpetuating as ‘culture’ I mean, it is quite obvious now how everything has been intertwined and specifically designed to keep us very busy with our mechanical jobs,  mechanical prayers, mechanical interactions to get our quick fix just like drugs – mechanical family-makings, mechanical pre-fab aspirations and ‘dreams’ – mechanical gatherings where the same mind-bullshit is regurgitated, everyone pursuing the exact same ‘dream’ lol – and mechanical views upon life wherein positivity would mostly shape and mold the feeble minds of ours,because it would create a ‘good will’ feeling wherein we would be willing to do anything to get the necessary money to ‘make our dreams come true.’ And so we turned and turned and turned the wheel until we started realizing that the more we spun it, the more the whales cried because we are depleting the Earth’s resources in the name of such mechanical lifestyle.

 

Sometimes I see that it will be virtually impossible to do this in a lifetime – this is where the ‘fogbound’ point comes in, as it is just ‘too much’ or ‘how the hell are we going to do this? where to begin with?– yet this can only exist if ‘I’ me-myself as the woman here typing is wanting to get to live the results ‘herself’ instead of Hereself. Within this, what I have realized is that I definitely want to be part of the people that are willing to do anything that is required to begin with the transformation that this world requires. I want children to come into this world and Know that there is a group of beings that are working to create the necessary transformations in this world to a Best for All Living-Principled society/ environment.

 

This is how we cannot ‘blame’ our parents or anyone – we have all done it in this mindset of energizer-bunnies that only sought to keep going on and on and on without ever pondering: well, what the hell am I doing this for? what are the consequences of me ‘living’ this way? And anyone that dared to express this and really ponder about it – because there have been several people in the world that genuinely tried to ‘make a difference’ in this world – were eventually subsumed within the entire survival-system or simply exterminated by it, because it was just impossible for one single being to do such changes all alone. This is how it is important to unite as many people as we can, because we realize that it will take a massive amount of people standing within the principle of What’s Best for All in order to work together and really establish what’s been elusively called as ‘Heaven on Earth’ – which I tend to resist saying because I simply don’t know what that would be like. All I get in my mind is this open plain space where the grass is green and there’s a nice breeze of air flowing lol with preferably some clouds and everyone just enjoying themselves –that’s it.

 

So, what I’ve realized is that we cannot be as apprehensive as we have been toward ourselves which has been based within a system wherein any ‘fuckup’ costs money, wherein any failure means you are ‘worthless’ or ‘ruined for life’ – wherein any sense of ‘demotivation’ means you are ready to be replaced by fresh bait/ cannon fodder – depending on the use of work-force in our current system – wherein taking some time off to evaluate yourself, your life and ‘who you are’ means potential realizations coming through, hence ‘providing’ you with all forms of enticing entertainment to make sure you remain stuck desiring sex, money and all the power in the world.

 

What we are learning to do is to not have any sense of ‘loss’ upon mistakes, not judging ourselves when we fuck up, not project our judgments upon others when others do fall and stumble on their own mistakes, because we learn from each other that way as well.  We are learning not to ‘Save the World’ but to be the change it requires, and that implies that it won’t be solved just with a thousand smiles and an 8 digit check for the cause – No. We are learning that our fuckups, mistakes reveal which points we have always missed within this reality, creating the current outcome of a society divided by its own negligence toward each other as Equals. These ‘Fogbound’  moments are here to get to know what is it that is causing such experience, what am I still defining myself according to, what is it that I am expecting to live of myself without realizing that I have Never ever lived before? The trick is to keep breathing, definitely and not to remain ‘still’ for far too long – but to re-assess our application and continue walking. Idleness has been quite a fuckup in my past wherein I get to that ‘giving up’ point in such stagnation and then shift my attention to ‘something else’ that looks like it would require ‘less effort.’ No man, we don’t have plan B’s here. We make it or we die.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obfuscate myself with my own thoughts about ‘all that will be required to be done in order to change the world’ wherein I see the ‘bigger picture’ and it just seems ‘too much’ without realizing that this is me only ‘thinking’ about change, but not Being the change that is required, which is not separated from myself as breath here, walking the necessary actions – step by step – to stop such enslaving system within me first, to educate myself, to learn from my own mistakes and failures in order to see what will work for all as equals, what must be corrected in order to ensure that we walk this process once and we do it right.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take ‘failures’ as something personal, wherein I see and realize that I have been conditioned to believe that me not being ‘right’ all the time within this process is a way to reveal to myself how I had only learned how to ‘live’ within a system of values and worth in  separation of who we are as life, wherein any fuckup/ failure/ mistake is punished and means a general ‘devaluing’ process wherein the person is then stigmatized and seen as ‘not worthy’/ not ‘good enough’ without seeing that this is only within the same value-schemes that we have lived as capitalist-minds that never considered the physicality of ourselves, of who we are as life – hence, I stop diminishing myself and opting-myself-out any moment that I fail, that I fall, that I make a mistake and within this stopping all thoughts associated with ‘giving up’ and seeing everything as ‘impossible’ or ‘too much’ because: this is only a mind-generated mechanism wherein it is simpler to just ‘go with the flow’ of the current world which is a statement of not really being willing to do this for ourselves As ourselves as the potential living-beings that we all are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impose the same judgments upon myself, the world and others that have stemmed from the past as all the limitations we have imposed onto ourselves due to our very own thinking-processes with which we have devalued ourselves in a way that is not at all originating from Life itself, but only our self-deprecating minds that are used to giving up any moment that a single obstacle is existent in our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure, which is only in accordance to the necessary step for me to see that everything that we had only ‘maintained’ was a system of abuse, limitation, fears, judgments, opinions and beliefs upon life, but never Life itself. Therefore, the realization that every attempt to ‘live’ that is not in accordance to what is best for all coming to an obvious failure is necessary in order to establish our starting-line as the starting-point of self creation within the necessary principle that had never been considered/ contemplated in reality which is Equality as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as apathy when seeing things as pointless, useless or without any definitive ‘result’ that I have been used to obtaining to declare that something ‘works/ doesn’t work’ in a short period of time, I realize that patience is required for me to understand that it will take as much time I spent on creating myself to correct and re-create myself and this world within a clear starting point of what’s best for all. Therefore I see, realize and understand that apathy is just another way to loop-around the ‘known me’ that preferred the comfort of ‘not giving a fuck’/ not doing anything to challenge the belief of ‘who I am’ which is what must be stopped within me as it is only consisting of thoughts, emotions and memories that are Not who I am here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever feared ‘making mistakes’ and ‘fucking it all up’ based on that meaning that I would no longer be valuable/ worthy, ‘trust worthy’ for anyone, without realizing that I had not even developed my own self-trust as life itself, but only as knowledge and information that I acquired to define myself as a ‘confident’ and ‘secure’ person, while in fact none of us have ever actually lived self-trust as life, which is living as breath, physically here and realizing and understanding that any sense of ‘security’ comes as the current status of ourselves being well fed, having a place to live and having comfort and even luxuries that have made our life this comfortable pillow to lay upon while the rest of our existence as this world is obviously not having the same as we do at the moment. Hence the importance of developing this actual CARE as in seeing what we Are/ have become and understanding that ‘them’ is ourselves’ and if we don’t do this for ourselves first, we won’t  do it for anything/ anyone else. Because we had been training ourselves to only see for our own survival and look after our own ownerships and benefits and satisfactions that were based upon the same system that must be debunked in order to re-establish the real values based upon Life itself, which is currently Non-existent and must be Self-Created as the Self-Willed realization that there won’t be any ‘profit’ made form it, other than actual solid and stable foundations to support each other as Equals, which will be in the end the ultimate ever-lasting reward-system that will not be based upon Abuse, but Equality as Life.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that judgment is the Experience of the Past confirming that Life is Not Here, as the Experience of Energy Resulted in actions and Consequence of Energy Self-Interest that Crossed the Line of Dividing Life into Past, Present  and Future – turning Life into the Fiction of Experience of Energy that is Desire, Perpetuating the Desires till Death as Crucifixion. Thus, unless one Die Alive and End the Addiction to the Experience of Energy as the False Image of Self, Death Ends the Experience as the Opportunity to Be Life is No More. Thus, consider Rebirth as the End of Energy and Not the Purification of Energy as All experience as Energy is Always just the Past Repeating itself – and unless the Past is Over, Life will not Be Born from the Physical as What is the Same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.” Bernard Poolman *

 

I commit myself to stop within my mind this experience of being ‘fogbound’ wherein everything seems hazy and not clear enough for me to ‘know’ where to direct myself, which is a knowledge point and not a self-movement realization wherein we understand that there is no ‘ready-made picture’ that I can look at and walk this process to ‘get there,’ but actually see/ realize and understand that we are actually walking this process as we live day by day wherein knowledge and information as pictures or ideals to obtain do not exist, but only a principle is certain: Equality as Life.

 

I commit myself to not give into this ‘standstill’ moments wherein I believe that I have the ‘right’ to not do anything for a moment, without realizing that this is another form of ‘freechoice’ and ‘freewill’ that is embedded within the individualism that we have propagated as a ‘way of living’ in this world, which keeps us bound to the same separation that is generating the current world system we’re living. Therefore, I realize, see and understand that I must keep in mind that this is an existential process wherein I stand as a self-willed part/ particle as part of the equation that requires us all to be a part of in order to establish what’s best for all life.

 

I commit myself to see and realize that only wallowing in my mistakes, failure and self-deprecation is essentially self-interest as I am only considering ‘Me’ in this experience that is, obviously, self-created while in fact saying a big ‘fuck you’ to everything/ everyone else because: if I am not willing to do this as myself within the realization that doing it for me in Equality as What’s Best for All = doing it for All in Equality, I won’t be willing to ever live, as simple as that and I would only confirm that the mind wins, that I am incapable of changing myself and remain stuck in my own bubble until it dries and I die.

 

I commit myself to support myself with writing, self-forgiveness, self corrective application to re-settle myself within the understanding of what is it that I am doing this for, and not create a point of separation from that ‘outcome’ and ‘purpose’ outside of myself, but realize it As myself in every moment – hence understanding that me giving-up-on-myself is essentially me confirming that I am a mind-system that cannot possibly get out of the traps of the mind specifically set and designed to maintain ourselves in these individual-egotistical stances that have never cared or even considered Life in Equality as who we really are.

 

When and as I see myself standing-still within this fog that I create as this experience within and as my mind when seeing the reality that we have become and the extent of changes and corrections required in this world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am projecting this as a ‘wholeness’ that seems like ‘too much’ and it is IS if I only considered ‘myself’ as my own limited mind to assess our abilities and capabilities, because I see and realize that who we are as the mind is a limitation in itself and won’t be able to ‘grasp’ our ability to function in Equality because the mind in itself is programmed, designed in order to only function as an individual – therefore I realize that being ‘fogbound’ is the same as getting into a ‘cannot compute’ experience that I can transcend within taking a deep breath, bringing myself here to stop the overwhelming thoughts and re-mind myself that I am learning how to live for the very first time as a physical time-space living being that won’t get any quick-fixes and immediate results, but that is walking this process as I walk and live day by day until it is done.

 

We cannot intellectualize this process, it is walked as we breathe.

 

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2012 The Reward World War

Psychopathology [1]

“Rogers described the concepts of congruence and incongruence as important ideas in his theory […] he recognized the need for positive regard. In a fully congruent person realizing their potential is not at the expense of experiencing positive regard. They are able to lead lives that are authentic and genuine. Incongruent individuals, in their pursuit of positive regard, lead lives that include falseness and do not realize their potential. Conditions put on them by those around them make it necessary for them to forego their genuine, authentic lives to meet with the approval of others. They live lives that are not true to themselves, to who they are on the inside.”


Sounds familiar? I can almost be sure that we have all gone through the ‘incongruent’ type of experiences within our lives wherein we could only trust ourselves based on other’s approval to our own ‘existence.’ In fact, that’s how socialization takes place. Some have the ability to be the ones that decide who’s ‘in’ and who’s ‘out,’ and accordingly create an incisure-factor within a being’s life to ‘feel’ accepted or rejected within the social context, which leaves a scar that is ‘ever present’ within the realization that: all and everything that we have experienced remains within and at a mind level [2] Quite shocking, but that’s who we are as the mind integrated within and as our physical bodies.



Incongruent social and economical system

Who has placed such ‘conditions’ to limit ourselves as life? We have. And the reality is that this obvious polarization was ‘necessary’ to instigate and instill the idea that beings would be either ‘winners’ or ‘losers’ within society throughout their lives. This stigmatization process/ fear labels begins at home by creating a point of preference toward a specific child that ensues rivalry between siblings – very well known for being an ever-lasting mythological topic; then emerges in the educational system wherein kids at school get the first taste of what social groupings are, and the usual accepted and allowed sectarianism accentuates the moment that kids start developing a sense of ‘value’ in separation of their initial unconditional expression.


Yes, you might have also gone through that phase in your life wherein one of your friends suddenly stopped talking to you because some other person thought you were either: a) no longer cool or b) suddenly too arrogant/ elevated for them. Social discrimination begins within this seemingly ‘innocent child-games’ without actually realizing to what extent a being’s life is defined by such moments of experiencing rejection and ostracism within the first developmental stages within one’s life.


However, as Carl Rogers postulates  – beings still ‘pursue their happiness’ which in our case here is social integration – adaptation through survival of the fittest mechanisms – which will define and limit their ability to develop any other potentialities, just because of having to subdue any other expression to be accepted within a particular and constricted frame within the social environment that the being is interacting in. “Conditions put on them by those around them make it necessary for them to forego their genuine, authentic lives to meet with the approval of others. They live lives that are not true to themselves, to who they are on the inside.”


The reality, as we now know it/understand it, is that there are no lives that are entirely ‘true to ourselves’ at this stage, and any perceived ‘real pursuit of happiness’ is an equally deranged mechanism to maintain people within particular profiles that could give the ‘appearance’ that human beings were actually ‘diverse’ and aiming at ‘different directions’ within their lives. This type of personalization was beneficial to the emerging marketing mechanism during the second half of the past century, to make good money out of encouraging people to bind themselves to particular ‘conditions’ so that the market – those making money out if this – were able to continue keeping track on the types of people and creating new needs for them with the illusion of ‘upgrade.’ Now – what would be actually ‘true’ to ourselves in a world where money has dictated and set the rules of  ‘who we are,’ what we eat, wear, what type of education we get, our basic needs met or not, the entire environment as the configuration that one being is developed in is currently pending on Money.



Incongruent Psychological Considerations

The fact that the mind is a mirror of our ‘true self’ as the actual beingness is a revealing aspect that we are places a point to ponder in relation to what ‘our real nature’ actually is: “They [incongruent beings] live lives that are not true to themselves, to who they are on the inside.” But what if what we are on the inside is actually that which generates the ‘outside’? What is something that is ‘true to ourselves’?


At this moment talking about being ‘original,’ ‘genuine’ and having certain ‘personality’ can be tags equally adopted by any product to be sold in the gas station of your choice. We have lost – or never actually had (!) – any sense of what our real ‘beingness’ is within this reality. I cannot blame anyone as to why so many people would rather dissociate themselves from this continual demon.stration of personalities and characters within this reality by deliberately becoming the mint reflection of the deception and dishonesty that we have created of this world.  We have all had to incorporate some level of insanity in order to be able to ‘compute’ in this reality – the more insane, the merrier, I’d say. The fact is that such incongruence is only existing from the vantage point of having an apparent ‘solid’ and ‘firm’ identification of what ‘being true to yourself’ could actually mean…


Let’s place some cues here

If by ‘being true to yourself’ is believing that you have ‘free choice’ and ‘free will’ and can do whatever you want in this world – just because the bible/ constitution told you so – then we can start pondering what such ‘truth’ is actually based upon. If ‘staying true to yourself’ means having sex with random people to satisfy your ‘true needs’ without any iota of self-respect for yourself and others – If ‘staying true to yourself’ is following the path of money wherein greed and personal conquests are the family’s favorite hobby, then what do you know? Family pride and National honor comes first to ‘stay true to your principles in your ‘homeland’ – which translates in $ as the real ruler in this world. Where is the Common Sense?


It would seem ‘overrated’ – or it is so to me as I write it because I had to come up with the usual clichés to write that out– but the fact is that: this is what we have made up of this reality, a set of predictable games that only some have mastered to play – and the rest are left to be cannon fodder to keep the cog wheels of the system running.



In my experience ‘staying true to myself’ was believing that rebelling against my family, ‘staying out of the system’ and living a life wherein I could be an ‘outlaw’ seemed like the way to go to ‘stay true to myself’ – nevermind believing in spiritual realms or invisible forces ‘guiding’ my life . ‘Staying true to myself’ would mean fearing ever having to ‘sell-out for the system’ – which in essence meant having to participate within this system in a usual manner as any other regular mortal does –reading again: regular mortal, because we also know that, for others, ‘staying true to themselves’ is following a particular family lineage that would ‘save them’ from any fall by landing on a well cash-puffed mattress every time that the money-noose would get too tight to bear.



What are we?

“Rogers suggested that the incongruent individual, who is always on the defensive and cannot be open to all experiences, is not functioning ideally and may even be malfunctioning. They work hard at maintaining/protecting their self concept. Because their lives are not authentic this is a difficult task and they are under constant threat. They deploy defense mechanisms to achieve this. He describes two mechanisms: distortion and denial. Distortion occurs when the individual perceives a threat to their self concept. They distort the perception until it fits their self concept.”


Aren’t we all incongruent beings according to this definition? Come on! If you see yourself reading this and thinking ‘oh no, I cannot possibly be that!’ I suggest t to check your self-honesty-o-meter right now – here are some reality-check points:

  • We have limited ourselves to become a particular character in our lives that is based on defending our ‘territory’ as thoughts, feelings, emotions and secrets that we built around our mysterious persona that we hold dear as a baby that must be fed to grow healthy and, eventually, sustain itself, which is what we can identify as the full integration of the identification of ourselves as the mind, as ‘who we are’ within our physical bodies.


  • What is ‘malfunctioning’ but being bound to conditions that are simply Not supporting life-expression, but tampering the being’s ability to actually LIVE because of having a perpetual peer pressure, social conditioning and the ‘financial-survivalism’ that makes us believe that whatever we do, we are not anywhere near ‘making it’ within this world. Within going to the ‘other side’/ opposite pole, we believe that such financial stability is only leading to self-doom and absolute ‘sell-out’ within the system – however the consequences for both are still determined and bound to get to the same ‘score board’ that is equally defined by money – who created the money system then? We did, human beings in the name of misanthropy.


  • We all have worked to build a particular personality/ ego, something that we can be ‘proud of’ – even if that suit/ personality in itself is meant to cause the exact opposite projection of pride and self-glorification, it is also experience-based.


  • Whose lives have been ‘authentic’ anyways? No one’s! And this world is the very definition of living in a constant survival mode wherein we go fearing each other, fearing losing relationships, fearing losing our own little bubble of magical words that build up the daily dose of self-talk to make us feel good/ bad and in-between -but making us constantly ‘feel’ something to make-believe that we are ‘alive.’


  • Defense mechanisms, we are all experts on that. Our entire personalities become suitable fortresses wherein we constantly hide from anyone having the actual ability to get to know ourselves, fearing to lose our ‘privacy’ as that secret mind, be living a lie that sharing too much of ourselves would imply no longer being a mystery to others, becoming ‘part of the herd.’ Any idea of having a way to ‘defend ourselves’ is only existent ‘per request’ the moment that we fear losing that which wasn’t ‘real’ anyways. We go keeping our secrets behind our heads and fearing others talking behind our backs, eventually making of this life the ultimate battle field until we die. Is this what we have dubbed as ‘ living’?


- To know what we can create/ implement/ establish within this world to be able to function ‘ideally,’ read on the Equal Money System.



Dissociative Human Nature

This defensive behavior reduces the consciousness of the threat but not the threat itself. And so, as the threats mount, the work of protecting the self concept becomes more difficult and the individual becomes more defensive and rigid in their self structure. If the incongruence is immoderate this process may lead the individual to a state that would typically be described as neurotic. Their functioning becomes precarious and psychologically vulnerable. If the situation worsens it is possible that the defenses cease to function altogether and the individual becomes aware of the incongruence of their situation. Their personality becomes disorganized and bizarre; irrational behavior, associated with earlier denied aspects of self, may erupt uncontrollably.


Mind possession and its brewing process here – we have all undergone this in-detail procedure wherein our own fear of loss as our over-protected ego experiences the threat to be debased by some external factor – one that is also usually ‘identified/ targeted’ by the individual/ ourselves throughout our life as a silent rival/ enemy that we build our entire world around in opposition and absolute contrast to.


Walk through the streets, observe your thoughts, observe people’s thoughts through and as their movements, observe your own movements, every blink of the eye, every ‘involuntary shift of paths’– I’ve seen fear, resistance, entropy and other points that I could continue listing here –  yet I realize that I am only describing myself and for that, this ‘threat’ must be understood not as some potential cookie-monster outside of ourselves: It’s Always Been Ourselves – only.


And that’s the thrilling and climatic joint-mode here – when we all would seek some-thing to swallow this one, simply because it has been of such delight to be able to blame society, the system, our parents, god, our siblings, childhood friends, teachers, doctors, bosses, partners, neighbors, presidents, money… yet forgetting or not even knowing that all – everything and everyone – has always been ourselves, this entire world as it is and how it exist is our creation. Quite an astounding level of separation from ourselves as our physical body and mind, powerful enough to create a sensation of ‘bizarre and irrational behavior’ such as believing that some paper and coins can contain actual value to get that which we need to live – some others going to the extremes to become ‘sick’ to get all the money they can as the ultimate delusion of ‘power’ and ‘control’ kicks in through the back door.

Would talking to ourselves in our minds not be considered something ‘bizarre’ considering that we live in a physical reality wherein everything that goes within our minds is absolutely matter-free and invisible? Why is believing in a god not the ultimate delusional and pathological aspect of the human being as an integral aspect to ‘research’ within psychology or psychiatry – if they want to find yet another ‘diagnosis’ that can be added to the FDA manual of self-created mindfucks to sell you some drugs to calm your ‘irrational behavior.’



Now, for that ‘uncontrollable eruption of the denied aspects of self’ as the past, as everything that we suppressed, I suggest: hold on before you attempt and do harm onto others or yourself. There is absolutely a way to stop being taken for a ride by our own mind, and that is Willing Yourself to Live and support yourself within walking an actual process of taking all the inner experience through a self-directive process to correct the words that stood as separation, and redefine what you want life to be like – for all as one and equal. Consider that it is possible for each one of us to be writing the new  philosophy of life that contains 100% Equality considerations that ensue effective human development at all levels.



If we realize that all the ‘storms’ that we create within ourselves are generated at a thought level, it becomes obvious that we are the ones that must stop stirring the thoughts and take responsibility for our experience. All forms of separation, rivalry, struggle, having to ‘defend’ ourselves for whatever reasons we believed that we could use to remain in our awesome blissful chain-buying experiences to fulfill our pursuit of happiness  – and all its related enterprises – must cease to exist as they have all served the $ame god in this reality, the greatest business and scam in our world.


We created it = It is our responsibility

If our basic human skills for socialization/ interaction with others is based on the principle of Life in Equality, wherein Self Honesty becomes the more-allity code, then no one will exist in fear of each other, there will be no need to ‘defend’ ourselves or even get lost within any form of inner or outer ‘true-self’ disparity.  We are able and capable to redefine our entire existence by focusing on ourselves, making sure that WE are the ones that Stop perpetuating the limitations that we have built toward ourselves as personalities/ shields toward each other and feeding the FDA’s manual for selling ‘legal’ drugs.  Vulnerability to communicate can only exist if we can trust each other as equals.

We stop the inner and outer wars that are currently led by the actual state of our reality that we can only define as ‘incongruent’ in all ways. There is no congruency available at the moment in this world: We must create it. We stop comparing, judging, harming, dishonoring, dissing each other and stand within a single basic principle: do/ be/ speak and live what’s best for all as others will do the same as well – that’s disentangling all our psychological dysfunctions and bearthing ourselves as the equality of Life that is long overdue in our existence.

Be-come part of the new Human-Kind.

Desteni

[1] Rogers, Carl. “Psychopathology.” Wikipedia N.p., n.d. Web. 5 Apr 2012. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Rogers

[2] Reptilians – WHO is the MIND – Part 15

Physical Psychology Interdimensional Support to understand the Human Mind:

Self-Support Recommendations:

Matti Freeman – What is a Sociopath
Self-Image and Fear of Others
Life Review – How Thoughts Bombard the Physical and Destroy Self
Life Review – Voices trapped me in my Mind
Life Review – I Believed I was Superior to my Mind

Desteni Forum
Destonian Social Network
Equal Money System


2012 Self Honesty as Fear Label

“…we’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” Sunette Spies

There is indeed a label placed onto people that are common-sensical, have integrity as a human being and are ‘honest’ within the system’s terms. Fear of survival is that inherent ‘nature’ that we have accepted and allowed as part of the conditions to socialize and interact with other human beings in our reality. We don’t get to know ‘why,’ we just learn ‘that’s how things work’ and don’t dare to even question it further, because that also relegates you to the status of  ‘questioning God’- and that is something apparently untouchable and unable to be doubted. However, our actions and interaction mechanisms reveal the fact that they are actually NOT based on what is best for all at all.

 

What I see is that the ‘fear label’ of being an integral and common sensical person deemed as ‘weak’ is how bullying begins. There is an acceptance that exists behind this, and it is learned at home: you must cheat, lie and deceive if you want to thrive in the system – you must play the game no matter what if you want to live – and that goes unquestioned as well.

 

I have exposed in previous blogs here how I had a difficult time having to ‘get into the system,’ because I was so uncomfortable whenever I had to lie or do something that was merely done to be ‘accepted within the system.’ I had linked it to the culture I live in, wherein lying, deceiving, being corrupt is ‘our every day bread’ as it’s said – meaning, everyone does it, everybody knows and if you don’t do it: you are stupid and weak for not playing rough.

 

There are sayings that imply that you must cheat in order to succeed – hence anyone that is not willing to play that game is usually kicked out of the game and crucified, which means instigating hatred through what we commonly know as ‘bullying.’ The reality is that it is not only a ‘childhood/ teenage’ thing, it is a common way to threaten anyone that wants to straighten the laws of the current crooked system.  That’s how politicians that were intending to create a change were deliberately killed before getting to be presidents – that’s an example that happened here in 1994. And there are even movies that depict how anyone that has ‘good intentions’ within the political realm, will eventually be sucked in by the system simply because of being threatened to death to do so.

 

Thus, what is a bully but a person that judges a being that is mostly honest and common sensical – but because of them not ‘playing the game’ of  fear of survival and fueling the necessary opposition to create rivalry and competition that others can ‘beat’ and win over, the being is forced to participate by deliberately attacking and instigating reactions, which is exactly how within the system we learn that we ‘need to suffer to live’ and other bs like that. All about power games and emotional reactions that keep everyone well fed within a particular suit in the world.

 

“And yet – the positive illusion is so blinding that reality is not seen at all – or, is it that reality is deliberately denied because the illusion is just better and how they suppress the voices and sights in their mind/media of the reality of the situation and fall back into the bliss of the illusion of mind – too scared to face the truth they know already exist: positivity is making no difference to the reality of here

Sunette Spies

 

This is how far we have gotten ourselves as humans – that’s how anything that promotes Equality, Self Honesty, Life, Neighborism, Self Support, Self Forgiveness is tagged as a threat to the ‘status quo’ which is nothing else but living in absolute fear of each other, in constant competition and comparison, living to the rule of thumb of who lives and who dies based on ‘how well you adapt’ to the system of getting to the top no matter how many heads have to fall to do so – and the permanent underlying reason to do so is: Money.

 

And we claim evolution? Fascinatingly enough, evolution contains the word ‘love’ backwards – loveillusion can be the way to describe how these survival mechanisms are accepted, promoted and even defended with the proudly worn crowns of ‘free-will,’ ‘free-choice’ and thinking that ‘competition is healthy’ to create ‘well-bred human beings that make the best of their lives’ – however this free-willer type of statements are based upon equating ‘the best they can’ to their personal gain and satisfying a personal interest that is based mostly on being powerful = having money, ‘being successful in the system’ which, as we know, can only be done if participating within the rules of the game = if you don’t dare to abuse, you are not considered a productive element of society.

 

We have compromised each other to this mechanism and dared to call it ‘making a living,’ existing in fear of each other, transforming ourselves into survival robots that forgot everything about living in common sense – and that’s simply because of how we have structured and based our living reality upon laws and structures that are definitely NOT supporting the well being of all beings, but only perpetuating the same ‘survival of the fittest,’ because that ensures competition, consumerism and the replenishing of the system itself.

Once again without friction/ energy going on, there is nothing that moves the cathode to the anode and the light is not generated.

 

When we dare to see how we exist and what we have created of this system as ourselves, you inevitably change your perspective about your world and reality – if daring to be Self Honest about it. So, what Sunette explains is how we tend to ‘fall back into the mind’ wherein we keep ourselves in that instant gratification of ‘positivity,’ ‘love,’ the eternal pursuit of happiness wherein you can take a chill pill and pretend that ‘everything is fine.’ Sometimes this is not only about drugs, but merely constant self-talk on how ‘beautiful life is’ while neglecting the millions that are starving today.

 

“In a world flooded with positive thinkers, we have hell being born.” – Bernard Poolman

 

This is how our media and enter.tamement operates: ‘be happy, be healthy, seek for your next greatest excitement, seek the truth of yourself, spread love, ‘be yourself’ because you’re worth it and buy your happiness in the mall of your choice – get plastic surgery, look like people in magazines because they are ‘the’ role model to follow, you want to be like them, you can’t just aspire to be like them, you must become them. Get more money, work harder, you’ll eventually ‘get it.’ And billions live by this constant backchat impulsed by all media, family, school, society – virtually any man-made reality is based on these principles, just for the sake of keeping an economic system deliberately designed to enslave some, place others in a perpetual throne while spreading new ways to create illusions of ‘fool.fillment’ to attain to.

 

“Humanity is not growing in any other way but in the rising of consumption in the constant desire to have the next item that will create a feeling of happiness through entertainment” – Bernard Poolman

 

Life is NOT about any of what we have believed it to be about thus far – is Life about working your entire life until you die, having only made enough money to get by? No. Is Life about seeking to be accepted within a certain social-stratum in order to believe that you are now ‘worthy’ and ‘valuable’ in life? No – Who has placed such concepts like ‘value’ upon life to begin with!? We have. We are responsible for it, without any question.

 

Thus, what have we enslaved us to: to spawn beings that will be wrought by the ‘rules of the system’ wherein if you look like someone that would not ‘break a plate’ – which is stealing, cheating, deceiving, abusing in order to thrive – then you are seen as  a threat to the dog-eat-dog world. And it is fascinating that I had not seen this as clear as it is until today. Have a look at your matrix personality designs wherein ‘nerds’ or clear-headed kids are bullied because they are not ‘playing the game’ and fighting toward others to ‘get to be the king of the hill.’ I mean, they are relegated to being some anomaly that must be exterminated – and that’s how by default, only the ones that dared to play the game become part of the successful-stories of humans that ‘make it’ – those that didn’t dare to do the same,  remain secluded and ostracized. This is the proof of how the ‘rules of the game’ are in fact evil.

 

“Is the drive for profit a fear not fully realized yet? Or do those that thrive in the system place profit above all morality as they belief the less the consumer know, the less the possibility of fear?”
Bernard Poolman

 

No positivity will ever change the world because how can any form of ‘goodness’ be created upon a thick layer of slaves that are working 18 hours a day for you to have your latest iPad, which is a ‘symbol of success,’ success that you seek with such positivity and light-loving nature of asking it to the universe – Who is the real evil in this world to neglect the abuse and suffering that ‘successful lifestyles’ are based upon?

 

Not wanting to step out of the love and light illusion should be considered as a crime against life. There is no worse sickening bullshit being peddled around other than ‘seeking your next greatest excitement’ while having over half of the world suffering for not having the least to have a dignified living condition.

 

Do we have to go as far as having to lose it all in order to open our eyes to see the LIE we have created as an illusion of life? Do we have to get to the bottom of our self-created pit and exist in regret for the rest of our existence because of having neglected the reality that is HERE as ourselves, as our world? I say no – stand up from your meditation cushion, take off the blindfold, be part of the ones that stop nagging and inducing others to be abusive to thrive in this world, that stop pretending that living is achieving the ultimate status of a famous and powerful person while neglecting the lives that had to be enslaved to build such empire of dirt.

 

Time to wake up– we are here and ready to Stop All Fears in our Reality as this is the KEY to realize how much we have feared each other. Dare to be Self-Honest to stop being a happy-positive cogwheel that churns on fears and desires and self-induced needs that are not actually related to actual-living at all.

You don’t need love, you don’t need light, you don’t need ‘God’ – all you require is having the courage to live in Self Honesty which is not about ‘doing the right thing,’ but going through a process of self-investigation to see what we are participating in that is keeping the current system of abuse in place, and how to correct ourselves to create a reality that’s best for all, daring to expose the lies that we have ‘lived’ thus far and actually do something about it.

 

“The message of God uses the Fear of God to drive followers to the Love of God. This confirms that the source of Love is Fear. The world is Evidence that Love will never conquer Fear.” – Bernard Poolman

cara1

 

 

 

Suggested read:

Jack – The Courage to live Self-Honestly

Books:

Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 1

Audio Interviews:

Money is the Light of God on Earth

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