Tag Archives: behavior

267. The Greatest Addiction Ever: The Mind

 

“Energy is a by-product of life, it is not alive – we became addicted to our creation as energy and in this way we abdicated life ending up as just the light produced by energy – like a shadow of what we really are. At Desteni I Process this self deception is corrected through a self help process. Do it – before the lights go out for the final time.” – Bernard Poolman

 

Here I share some feedback in relation to my own process and how I have walked this point so far. Since I began my process of Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty through writing, developing Common Sense and essentially taking the decision to support myself to actually Live for the very first time, I have dedicated myself to work with every single point that has occupied my mind in quite an astounding manner. I mean, this goes from memories, pictures, sounds, wants, needs, desires.. the way I can describe it is like when you are constantly hungry and no matter how much you eat, you are always wanting ‘something more,’ that’s how I have seen the parasitical nature that the mind exists as.  As Humans we have never learned ‘what to do’ with these experiences, we only learn/ are told to ‘cope with them’ or seek the opposite experience in order to be ‘happy/ well/ good’ again – this is quite a problem and a general result of the ignorance we had toward the actual functioning of the mind and its grip on the physical body, wherein no matter How  you define experiences to be as either ‘positive or negative,’ energy is energy and the effects on the physical body that is consumed in order to power up this mind-system does not care how you define such experiences as long as one Remains in such constant self-experiences.

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

Throughout these blogs we have also realized that there is more to addictions than just getting a positive experience due to the inherent instability that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as from the moment that we allow the integration of the mind as ‘who we are’ and start defining our beingness according to mood, ‘states of being,’ emotions, feelings and allow the thoughts to direct who we are.

 

I was talking to my mother this morning and explained how this process has been for me like placing myself into rehab and going through actual withdrawal symptoms that are in fact experienced at a physical level the moment that we no longer feed our usual ‘inner turmoil’ that would ensure we remain locked within predefined patterns of existence that we had believed were ‘unchangeable,’ unable to let go of, unable to correct, unable to stop. This Process in essence means the most intensive mind-rehab program you’ll ever walk, because it is not only about stopping participation in your regular drug-addictions or self destructive behaviors, but it is in fact placing ourselves in a total rehabilitation program to finally align the absolute nature of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind.

 

Okay, but What or who am I as the mind? – you might wonder  – well, it is in essence every single self-definition that we have participated in that gives us either a negative experience or a positive experience as emotions and feelings respectively – every single memory, thought, physical movement, experiences as feelings, emotions, sounds, words that defines ‘who we are,’ what we like, what is ‘in character’ and what is ‘out of character,’ it is everything that we have accepted as our ‘true nature’ that is constantly wanting, needing, desiring, hoping, yearning, dreaming, seeking to escape from itself, seeking to get more, be greater, faster, be ‘whole and complete’ and all of this obtained through doing/ consuming anything or anyone that we can get an experience from.

 


“I commit myself to show that the MIND has NO Power and that MIND Power only developed as another CONSUMER PRODUCT where the Human feeds off the Program of Self-Interest without ANY AWARENESS that Life as the LIVING FLESH is being Abused just for Producing Feelings that act like a DRUG to which the Personality and the Flesh is ADDICTED.”  – Bernard Poolman

 

When one deliberately stops this point of ‘getting an experience in life,’ one becomes essentially more stable, there is no longer this constant ‘hunger’ for more, there is no constant inadequacy experienced, there is no longer this constant self-loathing/ hatred toward oneself and the world which leads to a constant desire to just ‘make it all stop,’ there is no longer the being uncomfortable in one’s own skin, there is no longer the constant judgmental thinking toward everything and everyone outside of ourselves – which by the way, it’s never about ‘them’ but always about ourselves -  there is no feeling of being ‘less’ become you expect to become more and more each day – but at the same time it is not a blissful experience either, as that would be self deception again: using our physical body to get a Mind-experience of apparent ‘well-being’ which cannot be defined as an energetic high, but must be rather considered as a constant stability that must be granted from one to another as an equality system wherein we can all get the necessary support to Live and genuinely enjoy life.

 

As one goes stopping the constant gnawing regular thoughts, what comes up is the ingrained physical patterns that represent the actual nature of ourselves – meaning, once we stop victimizing ourselves in our constant complains, judgments, self pity, self loathing thinking, what emerges is becoming more aware of the actual factors that make us decide ‘who we are’ and why we do what we do and what governs our every single move – this is where I see that Self Will is of utmost importance, to actually let go of wanting to ‘dive into’ the mind and any form of energetic experience and instead, will oneself to act/do/be and become a stable breathing living being that does not require to think, get emotional or experience feelings to live, but simply Is and exists here as the physical body.

 

Being in the physical: this is an important consideration for anyone that is willing to work and walk through any form of addiction, doesn’t necessarily have to be giving up drugs or alcohol or any other chemical stimulant, but also the addiction to our personality, our habits, our manias that We Already Know are Not Self Supportive, but keep on doing it just because ‘that’s all we know ourselves to be capable and able of being/ doing’/ ‘we don’t know anything better,’ which is the most common form of self mind-control that we have realized exists within each one of us: we fear giving up our self religion/ personality/ ego/ mind even if we are aware that it has never supported ourselves to actually Live.

 

I could write about how there is a definitive grounding experience that one is able to become and integrate as oneself when an actual dedication to this process, to get to know ourselves as our minds and living/applying the corrective process is self-directed in every moment – however I would mostly suggest you take this opportunity and suggestion to do this for yourself. The addictions/ cravings have mostly been reduced to physical movements that indicate a form of suppression that I am trying to ‘cope with’ and it becomes so in my face that pushing it aside only compounds it until I have to sit down and write the hell out of it.  So what I have also realized is how I obviously have used anything, any activity to not face the actual ‘problem’ which is mostly having to do with something wherein I am not directing myself effectively. One can only continue fooling oneself for so long, and once self honesty is being integrated as the main platform in which we decide to run ourselves on, it becomes quite unbearable to keep up with lies/ self deception, the shit eventually catches up on you – so to speak.

 

What is an addiction but a desire to live a lie, a temporary fix to escape the made-up self-belief of who we are as the mind, because I am here to say that the physical body is Not the one seeking to ‘get a high,’ it is only the mind that does and who we have become as an integral compound of the body and mind, the mind has run its course on the physical and this is why we are on so many drugs and self-destructive behaviors, because we are Not considering the physical body at all.

 

It is much easier to breathe and be here, stable and constant instead of continuing endless battles within ourselves toward the invisible forces that we have accepted as ‘who we are.’ I mean, we are talking about the addiction toward the mind, and how that is and will be the most ingrained addiction Every single human being has participated in, we cannot judge or claim that drug-addicts only exist in shooting up crack and heroin or smoking weed and taking prescription pills – the moment we accepted and allowed our well-being and stability to be defined through a positive experience, such as love, vitality, a sense of bliss, belonging and any other self-experience that we believe is ‘who we are,’ we agreed to separate ourselves from the constancy and consistency of who we are as the physical, breath, here, stable and give the wheel of our lives to the mind that runs on preprogrammed patterns of energy that will generate any form of mind-activity as a way to engage ourselves into thinking, feeling, becoming emotional and give our focus, attention to such mind-activity without realizing we are in such moments already feeding the addiction to the mind.

 

There is no need for the mind to do what should be actual vital functions as they currently exist in this world: breathing, eating, directing yourself in your regular responsibilities to make money to live in this world, relating yourself to all other living beings and dedicating oneself to become part of the examples that demonstrate that it IS possible to stop being directed by a mind that constantly seeks experiences and it IS possible to become a more stable, self directive, grounded, common sensical and in the process of becoming self honest human being. This is the most difficult task ever, I agree, because we have become so addicted to thinking, feeling, seeking for emotions, conflict, turmoil, defining everything we do and have become according to emotions and feelings to such an extent that we believe that: not participating in our mind is equal to being Dead/ Inert, lifeless – that’s a BIG misconception that must be debunked here if one is willing to walk this process wherein you will certainly not get any energetic churnings, on the contrary, I can say that such stability is we all have been seeking/ looking for and it only takes a sound and constant every moment decision to Not Give Into the constant ‘high’ that disables us from seeing who we have become in this constant seeking/ wanting/ needing/ desiring of who we have become as the mind.

 

I can remember when I was a child and I would get too much sugar with chocolates at times, and I would be like a rat in an enclosed space, literally walking around the kitchen table endless times and driving myself to believing that I was ‘going crazy’ when in fact it was me beginning to define such experiences as ‘who I am’ as this ‘uncontrollable rush’ induced through sugar in this case, and accept it as ‘normal’ because that’s what everybody else does, apparently.

Later on, I began participating in a constant self experience of anxiety, worry, concern, nervousness, inadequacy, feeling like I just want to ‘shut myself up’ due to the anxiety and exaltation that I copied/integrated from my environment – what did I seek for later on in life? Yes, getting out of myself and my mind, smoking weed is one single example as the outcome of that, without understanding that my ‘seeking’ for a way to relax has always been here as myself, breathing – no need for any drug to do that, and this is one key aspect in our society that runs on stress and self abuse.  According to what I wrote yesterday, we can see how stressful parents would imprint this same stress on their children, which is why later on children would seek drugs to generate the sense of ‘stress control’ and ‘impulse control’ which is what I can spot was my case, since I accepted and allowed myself to adopt a nervous/ anxious/ stressful manner of being, linked to patterns of desiring to be in absolute control and perfectionism adopted from parental patterns, which is also what we are understanding in relation to the influence of parents on children on the first seven years of age – I specifically recommend listening to Reptilians – The Reptilian’s Master Mind behind Memory Control (Part 1) – Part 117 to get a clear perspective on this.

 

Now there are multiple factors that lead to addictions and I’ll continue to walk them in order for us to be able to see and spot where and how we are accepting and allowing ourselves to be influenced/ directed by such factors without giving it a proper self-aware direction to ensure we are not continuing a point of abuse. Again, this is not only in relation to drugs, drugs are only the externalization and most common way to live out this constant desire to get a ‘fix’ – but we can become addicted to anything or anyone and that includes our own thoughts, without having ever been aware of WHAT is it that Powers such thoughts, which is what must be broadly understood and known: it is the physical substance, the tissue/ the fabric of the physical body that which powers up the mind, and that is the basic form of self-abuse that all of us human beings are subject to, and this is why it is so important to become aware of these ‘forces’ in order to become self directive as them, because they are who we have become, we gave them lodging and constant nurturing, the mind is our creation and who we have become as such creation can also be remodeled/ re-sculpted by ourselves and the extent of such remodeling depends on our dedication to actually will ourselves to live without the mind as our boss and decision-maker and instead install ourselves as the directive principle that considers what’s best for ourselves as all and live the principle of life in Equality.

 

The tools that I am assisting and supporting myself with are walked within the Desteni I Process , the Desteni Material, all the blogs and vlogs that all of us walking this process share at our current Journey to Life self-writing process, the Desteni Forum where interaction takes place with regards to How to walk this process or particular points one is working with in our writings, there’s also all the various groups at Facebook such as Capitalism vs. Equal Money wherein we get to know how it is that his humind-nature is affecting our reality at a world-system level and as such, become aware of our responsibility we hold individually to ensure that we all become aware of what we are collectively generating due to deciding to only ‘live’ through the mind, instead of practically considering the actual corrective processes and solutions that must be implemented and walked within the consideration of ourselves being the creators of the mess we try and ‘escape from’ through drugs/ habits/ and any other mind-experience – see the conundrum?

This is the actual mind control that we all exist as and we are here to ensure that humanity is aware of the practical self-applicable solutions that we are being the proof of, Do work when one commits oneself to no longer feed the mind but begin learning how to honor ourselves as physical living beings.  It is the most important process you’ll ever commit yourself to, it is the self-relationship that we have never established and it is here, the moment where we have all the support necessary to do so, to walk this process and ensure that no form of self abuse remains standing in this world.

Study the principles of Self-Creation and Self-Equality and Oneness within every single investigation published at Eqafe, as well as the blogs that are daily published here such as Creation’s Journey to Life, Heaven’s Journey to Life and an Economist’s Journey to Life.

 

“Actual Prosperity is where Every Living Being in this World Prosper and Live to their Full Potential. Full Potential Being: Living in an Environment that Support All Life Equally, that Ensures Happiness, that Prevents Fear and Addiction to the Mind, that Ensures that Each Child Born Understand EXACTLY where every Thought come from so that they can Prevent Mind Control and Abuse from all kinds of Faith-based Ideologies – whether it be Religious, Political, Educational, Psychological, Economical. Whenever Faith Exist: the Ideology will Promote Ideals of Inequality, because – What’s Best for All do Not Exist in Faith, it Exist as the Action each one Must Take to Ensure that there is Never Anything Unknown that could Cause harm to Another and All basic Essentials must be Available as a basic Human Right.
The Very Moment you have Basic Essentials and Claim that Others can’t have it, because it is the Will of some ‘Greater Power’ – you are
Abusing your Greater Power which is based in Money, Wealth and Greed.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

This will continue

 

Blogs:

 

 

Interviews:


259.Drug Addiction Prevented by Unconditional Living Support

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

I commit myself to create a world system and society that is based on equalizing everyone’s living condition to the best living condition that we all agree would be what is best for all, a society wherein one will no longer have to depend on money to live but rather work and develop oneself to receive equally a remuneration from the contributions that one does to a system that ensures all living beings have equal support and no one is left behind – this is what will ensure that there are no more systems/ governments to fight against/ rage against – but rather work with to create and manifest a world wherein life is finally dignified for all.

 

I commit myself to stop my own self abuse through seeking an energetic experience as a synonym of ‘being alive’ and instead, breathe and walk this Self Honesty process to ensure that all the past that I have accepted and allowed as ‘my personality’ and as this world system in the ‘greater picture’ finally stops within me – within this realizing that there is no need to continue spiting the past, but rather focusing on stopping the past, becoming the solution to stand as the pillar of the actual new way of living, which is and will only be life in Equality, because it is how things should have always been.

 

I commit myself to make of myself as my own decision to live my motivation and also to create a world-system wherein I would also want to live in for the rest of my existence, as this ensures that no matter where one is/ in which form within this existence, we are all equally supporting an actual dignified living condition for all. This thus implementing the law of our being as equality and oneness wherein implementing such law is what I commit myself to do and live till it is done.

 

I commit myself to expose how within stopping the consumption of drugs and alcohol, one face one of the greatest decisions: do we continue supporting self abuse or not and as such, share how it is through stopping drugs and the constant addiction to ‘feel good’ that one is able to finally establish a point of self-acceptance as a physical body that breathes, eats, shits and relates to other beings as a form of coexistence, which is the reality that is here and any other desire for a ‘moreness’ as an energetic experience must be seen as what it is, a mechanism of self abuse that must be stopped by each one of us realizing our responsibility toward our physical, our mind and this world system that we all collectively and individually co-create.

 

I commit myself to expose how drugs are the perfect way to keep slaves happy, because as long as people have a way to ‘escape reality,’ they won’t investigate and stand up for a way to change the system, instead of coping within it or antagonizing, which only perpetuates the irresponsibility we all hold toward each other.

 

I commit myself to expose how the entire drug culture is contributing to the current capitalist system wherein corruption is feasible where a lot of money is injected through illegal means to a drug trafficking business along with any other criminal activity that is only existent due to the same lack of money as well as greed for money and experiences that are only detrimental to the human being and the environment we co-create.

 

I commit myself to continue exposing how the solution will not come through retaliation and opposition toward the system using drugs as a way to ‘spite’ the system, but instead commit myself to live a life of sobriety in all ways wherein one can finally learn what it is to live in the physical, stopping seeking experiences that only happen at a mind level and that are expensive, harmful and addictive habits that should not be lobbied by any person that understands the responsibility shared when providing drugs/ sponsoring drugs to another being, which is unacceptable within the laws of what neighborism is: give to another what you would want for yourself and as such

 

I commit myself to support myself to always see and realize that any good feeling search is not really me as who I am as the physical seeking such ‘good feeling’ but only the mind that feeds off of emotions and feelings – thus

 

I commit myself to live the realization that breathing, being here in the physical body is the way to face oneself and breathe through any withdrawal symptom of stopping feeding a mind with thoughts that only lead us to seek for ‘greater experiences’ that end up in further abuse and neglect.

I commit myself to expose how there will be no need to use drugs/ seek for ‘greater experiences’ in a system wherein life will be finally given and received in equality and no longer sold to those who happen to have money by chance.

It is then my responsibility to ensure I focus on that which is leading toward a best for all outcome, and that any desire to experience something more is seen and understood as the mind seeking a fix that leads nowhere but further separation from what is here – it is to stop, breathe, and keep moving in the physical.

 

I commit myself to expose how there is no ‘easy way out’ in this reality and that consuming drugs is only a way to ignore the problem and aggravate it, since all drug cultures require money and as such it is to instead inform how money must be changed in the way it functions and as such, focus on supporting ourselves to Live as equals and working together to implement an actual dignified way of living through the Equal Money System and through this, educate ourselves about how the mind operates in the physical body and as such establish our own commitments to be the points that stop from feeding this machinery that works currently on desires, wants and needs that are not common sensical in most of the cases thus

 

I commit myself to stop following through the constant seeking of a ‘better experience’ and instead, focus on living/ doing/ working on the solutions that we all require to see as the foundation of the best living condition that we can all support to co-create once that more and more human beings realize that we have the actual ability to decide what is best for all and we can all vote to implement such best for all modalities that will mean an actual democracy that is a demonstration of the love we always liked to believe we had, but never actually placed into application – thus it is to Love our neighbor as ourselves and that will ensure that no single being is left behind, secluded and resorting to any form of escapism to avoid responsibility or facing ones world and reality, and extending a hand for support.

 

I commit myself to point out how any complain toward the system must be taken back to self to see how we are all equally responsible for everything that happens in this reality and as such, understand and focus on getting to know how such system is created at a thought level and this thus indicate we are all equally responsible for what is here.

I commit myself to create awareness of how this world is the reflection of ourselves as our mind and that any desire to ‘retaliate’ against it or ‘escape’ from it, is detrimental activity as it enhances the mind itself instead of assisting and supporting oneself to take responsibility for who and what we have become within such desires.

 

I commit myself to expose how drugs as any other business are very profitable system that works in illegal frameworks that only perpetuate the same system of abuse and as such, we all have to stop participating in any form of profitable activity that is based on self abuse within humanity.

I commit myself to explain how it is possible to implement a system that no more leads everyone to a a desires to ‘escape the system,’ but rather create enough awareness of how it is only us that can take the wheel/ make the decision to  live a life where the only experience is being here physically breathing.

 

This is thus a commitment to change from the source and the root of the ‘problem’ which is ourselves,  wherein through understanding how our mind works, how we drive ourselves to create any form of instability, desire, want  and need within our mind only, the responsibility is irrevocably here as an individual choice to either stop participating in such energetic seekings or not. I commit myself to stop seeking to satisfy an experience without ensuring that all beings have equal access to it as myself as well – this is to understand that it is not to condemn experiences, but the availability of it to everyone and such experiences being destined to exist as an actual enjoyment in the physical without requiring a substance to do so, other than oxygen, physical movement and expression which is what I find the most enjoyable: being able to share and coexist with beings that are willing to live in Equality as Life.

 

I commit myself to explain how it is through creating a system of self support that any drug addiction will be preventable, as all of them are based on a form of individual delirium as the mind that seeks to escape an unbearable self-experience and reality that mostly stems from the inability to live in the best condition possible within a world wherein everywhere you look, you can see life being supported and no longer abused only for the benefit of some.

 

I commit myself to implement an educational system wherein self-worth as life is lived and recognize within one another as a living fact wherein actual support is given to all beings equally, as this is what living words is about and as such, never again create disillusionment within ourselves as individuals existing in a constricting system, but rather learn from an early age to value life as who we are and be valued/ supported unconditionally the same way by the system – this is the actual giving and receiving as an actual caring that can definitely ‘move mountains’ and that is yet to be lived and witnessed by all that care enough to live at last, a life in Equality.

From previous post:

It is thus to realize that there will be no need to ‘escape from reality’ if we all instead dedicate ourselves to create a world system that supports all beings equally as Life, creating an actual respect for oneself and each other to create a system wherein on one will have a need to ‘escape’ an actual heaven on Earth we can all agree to create through a democratic vote that each one has the power to exert within the  Equal Money System – it is about time we stop numbing and harming our being that is fully functional and that of others through promoting ways to ‘escape the system’ and instead, work together to make of it the system and reality that we have always wanted to live in but believed ourselves to be incapable of changing – that is no more.

 

“Every Human Being Claim ‘the Right to Life’, yet there is no Protection of this Right – unless you, in the Current Capitalism, have the Benefit of Money; this Equal Money Capitalism (EMC), will Prevent. What will also be Prevented, is War. As War is Profit-Driven.
It is Time for a New World System. One Based on Prevention, instead of Reaction. One Based on Honouring the Right of Life, Equally for All.
Join the Journey to Life, and Become Part of a Solution.“ – Bernard Poolman 

 

 

Further support:

Go to the Equal Money System website and vote for our proposals to establish a world system where prevention of drug addiction will be part of our basic policies when understanding to what extent ignoring how the mind functions within the physical leads to the creation of abuse as our current world system.

 

Unconditional Living Support = Equal Money System

 

DSC00471_001

 

Educational Self Support:


189. Anger and Irritation upon Procrastination

Consequences – Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and irritation toward myself and ‘the world’ because of my own procrastination and within this, having ‘wasted’ the time that I had when I had it to do this properly and instead, having to now rush things to make them ‘work’  – however I see and realize that I must be very aware of not going into a rushing state wherein I end up doing things just to ‘get them done’ and forgetting about realizing that each thing that I commit myself to do  requires the exact same amount of self-awareness here as breath to do it, and within this, committing myself to not just ‘get things done’ and get the ‘obstacle’ out of the way – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate my life to ‘getting things done’ and seeing the tasks and points that require direction as simple ‘points’ that I have to simply ‘get done and over with it’ without realizing that in this attitude toward my tasks and projects, I am in fact missing out the entire point of the task/ project in itself, which is actually an opportunity for me to slow down, stop seeing life as this series of projects and assignments and instead support me to realize that each and every single task I commit myself to I can take on as long as I am here as breath directing myself in every moment and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the consequential outflow of me now having more tasks to do and having ‘wasted the time’ before, I will have to simply be more strict with myself and my time frames, as I see and realize that if there is this ‘extra thing’ that I have been procrastinating to do, it must be done as soon as possible – and within this equate all things that I have to do appropriately.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear of ‘oh fuck I’ll be stuck here for another half year’ without realizing that I am not stuck and I created this for myself – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that any point of pressure and rush is created by me and the relationship I created toward moving to another place and finishing school but at the same time not wanting to simply get the whole thing done with the final paper, which I see and realize that the sabotage is only toward myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger toward myself and within this go into a pessimistic attitude toward it because I will not apparently be able to move in another half year, without realizing that if any consequences have to be faced, I will simply have to face them as they are and as long as it takes because there is no other way within this when one is subject to processes that I have no control over other than doing my part which is getting this document done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off when things go out of what I have initially considered they would go through/ as,  which implies having created a time frame for some other particular task, without realizing that I should have actually done this one written document long time ago and that it is my responsibility to now ensure that I use every bit of time to get to everything that I have to do, instead of wasting my time getting pissed off and irritated at everything and everyone because of my own dead corpse of procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic experience over procrastination as this further anxiety because ‘things are accumulating’ without realizing that I am the only one that is accumulating them as thoughts of what I have to do, instead of just doing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame others for the decisions made and try and project my own anger and frustration toward me due to not having done the things that I had agreed to do a long time ago.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated because of having had music again the whole fucking day yesterday, wherein I go into a powerless mode because of not being able to go and shut people up so that I can have my peace and quietness to be able to write.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste another day and not write because of considering that the music/ noise from neighbors is absolutely irritating and impossible to write when having that constant sound.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even get irritated at someone arriving home earlier today and within this fearing that the noise will come through the interview and believe that ‘they should not fucking be here’ which is plain control-freak that wants peace and silence in order to please me and my ideals of having a quiet weekend.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up with a bad mood today because of things not going as I expected and within this, get irritated at everything, and everyone without considering that I am only acting out and lashing out my own energetic experience of anger and frustration for the accumulated procrastination toward points in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated because of things not being done according to how they were planned and agreed to be done, within this becoming inflexible and irritated because ‘things are not going the way that we decided and agreed to do them,’ without realizing that I am simply using this as an excuse to lash out and project my own irritation because of not having planed my life with my reality-responsibilities in order to be prepared and have everything done by now to then be absolutely ready and steadfast for anything that is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately neglect the consequences that I would have to face in real-time reality based on my procrastination to not get this particular scholar task done and within this, having to postpone everything else that I wanted to do for undefined time in order for me to ensure that I can in fact leave with having everything sorted out.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and my own departure based on my own procrastination due to me wanting to leave but at the same time creating deliberate obstacles in my reality that make it impossible for me to leave, even thought everything else is ready and the one that I am only waiting for is myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated at my own deliberate self-sabotage because ‘I knew what I was doing all the way’ and I didn’t stop, which places into perspective the actual Evil that we are and do to ourselves in order to make our lives more complicated simply because of accepting and allowing dishonesty from our side.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss breathing the moment that I simply get knowledge and information as having to ‘rush’ something without considering that any ‘rush’ can only exist as an energetic starting point to do things, which obviously always will carry out a consequences – thus

When and as I see myself rushing to do something and wanting to get it done as fast as possible – I stop and I breathe until I see that I am in fact being here stable and the movement within my physical body is not that of an anxious movement and strain, but is in fact a self-movement here as breath. Within this, realizing that I can only direct one point at a time and that I require to establish a routine that makes it practical and physically possible for me to do every single point every single day – and within this, also not accepting and allowing further manipulation to want to stop doing something to do that other thing, based on preferences or specific values given to one or another task, as I see and realize that that which will become part of my daily schedule, is all equally relevant and important.

 

Within this, I see and realize that the rush that I experienced this morning was because of having an unexpected notice and within this, having my little plans ruined because of believing that I would ‘still have time’ to work on this written project that I have been procrastinating, without realizing that such project should have been done by now and that the only way I will get this done is through simply doing it and stop whining about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of this task this ‘huge’ obstacle in my reality based on and directly proportional to the amount of time I didn’t direct it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the consequences are for myself yes, but also toward everything and all – and that this is actually depending on me and how I am able to stop the energetic experience toward my own procrastination and simply focus on what is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience toward things going ‘out of plan’ without realizing that If I had in fact lived my life according to doing things in the time that I had also ‘planned’ to do, I would not be existing in such an energetic rush and anxiety because this is only the consequential outflow of my own procrastination and deliberate postponement to do things – the consequence is thus me having to simply do all things required without making an experience about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thinking ‘I don’t want to see anyone today’ wherein I am simply wanting to lash out onto people in my reality what I am experiencing within me due to having to face the consequences of what I’ve done, which is unacceptable since that is how I have criticized people as well, when they behave in absolute anger and irritation to people without the other people they are communicating with having anything to do with the person’s mood and personal frustration/ anger/ irritation thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out and be irritated at people in my environment as a way to show and reveal that ‘I am pissed off at myself’ I stop  and I breathe – I realize that this is actually rather foolish and stupid to do since who we are is already the accumulated and manifested consequence of having wasted our lives and time in entertainment and the feel good experiences of the mind which are now here to be faced as the time that I could have used to work on my task/project/ document, instead of now existing as an energetic experience of anger toward ‘the world’ as a way for me to blame and exert my reactions instead of taking responsibility for them, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even get irritated by the presence of someone at home when it is supposed to be ‘all quiet and empty’ in order to satisfy my desires to have no noise around me, which has become a rather constant point of desire that I will surely have to get to, because it’s being also the source of anger and irritation because of people constantly playing music in the house or in the neighborhood, which makes it impossible for me to record interviews, but at the same time, I see that it is a point of me wanting to control my environment instead of realizing that I have no possibility of doing that, and that if I want absolute silence I then have to wake up in the middle of the night to have a relative silence around.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated at someone cleaning in the house which reveals the absolute nonsensical way of existing as the mind, since I would get pissed off if people do not clean and now I get pissed off because someone is cleaning and ‘making too much noise’ – within this I realize to what extent one can utilize anything, virtually ‘anything’ outside of oneself to blame and project anger toward without a cause but our own self-created experience of anger and irritation that is only existent within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am becoming my father when it comes to being constantly irritated and angry when things are not working ‘my way’ and be an absolute ‘sweet and loving person’ when things are going my way, which reveals the absolute disparity that I am allowing within myself based on the external environment and how it suits my preferences and desires/needs, instead of seeing and realizing how I have to take responsibility for myself and what I have created within me also as these energetic experiences of anger and irritation according to wanting to control my world and having things always working ‘my way’ and within my desired ‘time frame,’ without realizing that I have already imposed too much of myself as self interest toward my day to day living.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another person as a reflection of myself to justify the anger and irritation as something ‘genetic’ without realizing that I also learned from looking at my father how he would go into anger and frustration and further retaliation toward others whenever things would not go his way, within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration as that surge of energy that I am just waiting to lash out on others, so that others can be aware of me being angry and somehow seek some misery-is-company type of words and attitude as a confirmation to me being ‘right’ in getting angry

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my physical body throughout all of this and that I have not been diligent enough with myself in order to be breathing and Here as I direct points and situations, and that missing out on breath and missing out time and space that I could have used to work on my project is simply no longer here and that the only point I can do is giving it direction along with any other commitment  I have agreed upon doing. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get very sleepy as I write this and want to just shut down and go to sleep, without realizing that this is a defense mechanism in order for me to simply not continue realizing that this has been a key-aspect within my reality: how I have become this replica of what I would see my father do and that would actually bother me quite a bit, which is lashing out anger upon others and not taking self-responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out my anger toward others and not take responsibility for this single moment of preparing myself to ‘present’ myself in a particular way toward another being – I stop and I breathe  I realize that this is the moment wherein I have to ensure that I sort out and deal with my own reactions through self forgiveness and self corrective application as this is the only way wherein I ensure that I stop the abuse that I’ve imposed on myself as my reactions being passed onto others that certainly have nothing to do with it – and even if they did, I realize that I have to work on the point of not getting angry at them as an energetic experience, but simply point out something in common sense and at all times considering not only my own preferences and considerations, but what is best for all and within this, I realize that I cannot ‘know’ what’s best for all when I am existing in an energetic experience in my mind as within that I will only continue doing that which satisfies my energetic experience which  – as evil as it sounds – is wanting to intimidate and make other feel guilty for whatever reason, without realizing that this is certainly not the way to go, as I am only projecting onto others that which I am doing to myself /as myself.

I breathe – here and walk the points as required within Self Responsibility – I stop the blame and anger projected onto anything and anyone in my reality and assist and support myself instead to realize that there is only one solution to this all: just doing what is required to be done.

 

Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments in the following post.

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

blaming god

Blogs:

 

Interviews about projecting onto others what we experience within ourselves:


165. Following Self Interest is In Fact Self Abuse

Continuing from the blogs:

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements (part 2 on Self Trust and Self Interest within Procrastination)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tamper my own ability to live absolute self trust by deliberately stopping my absolute dedication to the points of responsibility that I have at hand and within this, waver in my self-trust as the certainty of living a decision that I had proved to myself I am able to live by/ stand as

 

When and as I see myself wavering in my stance in relation to self-trust within the words that I speak, my expression and my living commitments – I stop and I breathe – this is where the point of self honesty must be established in an absolute manner, wherein I realize that taking care of the points that I have to do in fact create a point of self-trust according to my own application which is Not an experience, but an actual physical doing/ directing within the consideration of what is best to do and live, which is doing all that which is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘waver’ within my self honesty and within my application as it, waver in self trust wherein such uncertainty and middle-road standing creates an outflow/ consequence of me not standing fully and directively within the consideration of me establishing patterns and habits within my physical process that I’ll be living as within the integration of self-corrective application as the physical, which implies that

When and as I see myself wanting to postpone/ procrastinate/ leave aside a point that is here for me to direct – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am creating a pattern of physical consistency and continuity as part of my self corrective application, which implies that everything that I do as a regular/ habitual manner becomes part of my physical process of aligning my words, thoughts and deeds to what is best for all. Thus I realize that I must support myself to create habits and patterns of self support at all times, wherein I ensure that that which I am integrating and imprinting as my physical body is in fact habits/ patterns that are self supportive which includes, directing myself in the moment whenever I see that there is a point to direct and give a solution to, which is the point of self support that ensures one does not create further consequence and lag within taking on a task/ project/ job to do, and within this compromise myself and anyone involved in the decision made.

I commit myself to at all times consider that any fleeting moment of self interest to ‘leave things aside,’ imply me giving head to a single thought in my head to not follow through that which is physically here to be done. Therefore, it is to at all times realize and take into consideration the inner and outer process I am walking wherein all the individual points that I decide to live and apply must be in alignment with a process of self-corrective application wherein I ensure that I in fact stop re-creating past patterns of procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow a point to an unbearable pressure due to having feared talking about it/ expressed my own relationship of procrastination toward this particular project wherein the single thought of me having to ‘do it all over again’ and the time frames involved within that, lead me to simply procrastinate it even further, thus it is to realize how the moment that I continue accumulating ‘points’ toward a point of procrastination, I am supporting the separation, the abuse and the lack of self commitment that I have judged in others, which is something that is clearly revealing to myself how It is that one can be actually spiteful and bite the hand that feeds the moment that we don’t live the words of self correction that we had established for ourselves.

When and as I see myself accumulating a point to give direction to, apply, change – I stop and I breathe – I realize that who I am is defined by the actions or inactions I do – therefore if I am here to live a correction it is to stand absolute as the commitment to get things done/ give direction to that which requires to be physically done – and all of this within the consideration that an actually doing implies a commitment that must be physically translated into a moment of me simply doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become subject to my exigencies and desires at a mind level to instead of directing me to work on the point, I distract myself with ‘something else told to do,’ which is not in any way part of an actual realization of who we are as the point of ‘following our desires’ and deliberately shoving aside a point of self support..

When and as I see myself seeking for my own point of self-interest as that which makes me ‘feel better’ other than doing the tasks that I required to do, I stop and I breathe. I realize that at an individual level this leads us to remain constricted by our own believed points of ‘self enjoyment’ that are not really standing as a point of expansion and self support but instead represent that very ‘cage’ that I have defined and confined myself into which I believe makes me ‘feel better,’ when in fact the reality is that the more I postpone, the greater the ‘load’ gets.

I commit myself to realize that every moment I postpone, I end up having to THINK about everything I didn’t do, which is how I contribute to my own self abuse within the realization that every time that I think, I consume myself as the physical life that is here and that in fact allows me to do whatever is required to be done, because I see and realize that all the exigencies of the mind will only ever support the mind itself to continue evolving and transforming into an ‘upgraded system’ wherein Life is nowhere to be found, because as long as the mind is supported by me ‘following my thoughts,’ I in fact become The provider as my own physical to continue procrastination which is a point of abdicating responsibility while believing that I am in fact doing something ‘better/ making myself happier’ which is not at all so, as happiness/ feeling good is also an energetic experience where self’s stability as the physical is not existent. 

Thus, this is to really take the point of procrastination beyond the perceived ‘self interest’ that we believe we are in fact following, and realizing how we have in fact only served the mind/ energy wherein instead of supporting ourselves to expand ourselves, we end up limiting and compromising our very own life every time that we believe there are no consequences to one single moment that we push aside one day further that which is required to be done today. This is the process and there is definitely nothing else to do but walk the necessary talk to integrate within our very physical habits the living decision of doing at all times that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to walk the various dimensions within the procrastinator as a character to ensure that I in fact realize in detail how I created the point and within this ensure that I stop the pattern for once and for all.

A point that I will go into in relation to the Thought dimension is  Satisfaction, which I suggest one read at the forum 

 

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

woe

 

Blogs:

Character Dimensions – IMAGINATION Dimension (Part 1): DAY 165

DAY 165: After Death Communication – Part 14:

Let’s Talk to the Dead

 

Interview: Life is NOT Energy:

“Don’t be conned by the complexity of Self Interest”

 

Interviews:

 

Free Download:


117. I Think, thus I Fear

What is the binding force within our reality wherein we keep each other safely protected from actually getting to know the Truth of ourselves?

FEAR

We can actually say that Fear has become our Religion, as Money for example is the externalization of the Fear of not having enough to live, which is how we created and manifested a system to control our ‘human nature’ in order to ensure that the entire regulation of how much we would use from this reality to live would be within some ‘bounds’ to not deplete everything and eventually end up consuming more than what we could even handle. Well, we have reached that mark, certainly and at the moment all that we consume is actually stemming from a fear, all that we buy as properties are apparently ways to ‘secure our future,’ all the relationships we create are stemming from a fear to be alone, all the decisions we take such as jobs, education, partnerships, hobbies and even what type of food we eat, where we live, what type of water we drink is stemming from fear. It’s not that difficult to create a political campaign that way: just propose a bunch of ‘Safety and Protection’ policies disguised with words like care and insurance to ensure one vote for your political statements, even if they do not get to be lived out and implemented at all.

As I walk through the streets, I see how our very houses are creaming out FEAR, most of the houses may have some ‘beautiful architecture’ such as how we create and build ourselves in our own minds, but oh what is the ‘cherry on top’ of such grandeur? Well, barbwire, electric fencing, double fencing, CCTV cameras, and if people have enough money/ live in a very well ‘seated’ situation: guards that ensure that ‘no threat’ is able to filter at your door. Our houses and neighborhoods have become like fortresses, prisons I’d say, yet that’s the most normal thing to do in a country wherein obviously, money is an extreme lack, wherein everyone does live out the sentence: ‘It’s easier to steal than work’ and also because there are no opportunities for them to have proper education, proper preparation to have a dignified job, because this entire system has been built to only benefit a few – so, we can see how we have built our own prison, how absurd! Considering it is us that have created it: no god has come to create it for us, we did.

 

“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how and why FEAR as Consciousness is/has been the primary driving/creative force of/as the nature of energy that has become the starting-point creative force/source of/as me as the Mind and all the Characters/Personalities within that, that will thus all – equally as one, have an existent starting-point, nature and experience of/as Fear. Which, as we continue walking this process of Character-Creation, will be seen, realised and understood by self, the extent to which we exist as fear, the extent to which we’ve created who we are and how/what we live as fear and so within this, why and how this process of Communication, in keeping the internal truth of ourselves as the reality of the Mind intact while physically speaking the 1% portrayal/presentation of/as who we are: is controlled/determined by/through and as Fear as Consciousness.” – Sunette Spies*

 

And as within, so without – I have been noticing for some time how even slightest movements when walking in the street, that which we call as our ‘instincts’ is in fact all stemming from Fear, survival mechanisms that we have adopted from childhood, fearing each other at all times.

For example, it’s plain to see how we would suddenly cross the street to the opposite sidewalk  if we see someone that looks ‘suspicious’ enough to think they could harm us, how we cross our arms in front of our chest when we feel threatened or suddenly ‘feel’ like we have to portray ourselves as ‘strong’ which can only stem from perceiving a potential threat, how we pull out a condescending character or ‘good doer’ whenever we talk ourselves into our minds to think that a potential threat could have some mercy on us if we portray ourselves to be ‘good hearted beings,’ I’ve definitely thought about that.

 

From childhood we have simply complied to this religion and learn it to be ‘love’  because ‘our parents care for us’ which is how we pass on this twisted idea of Love as an actual mind-possession that serves to mark our territory, to protect our ‘who we are as the mind’ toward others and also, of course, protect our most ingrained desires that are always ensuring that what is best for ourselves is protected at all times. We cannot definitely blame our parents and ‘those that have gone before us’ as we have all been there, done that and blaming would only keep ourselves bound to an egotistical victimization role that has prevented ourselves as humanity to actually change, because it’s simply much easier to blame than actually taking Self-Responsibility.

 

Every decision that we’ve taken is in fact stemming from fear. Whaaaat? Yes, look within yourself, it’s there, it’s a mili-second imperceptible quick assessment of factors wherein we are always looking to maintain ourselves within ‘safe bounds’ of our mind, our con-fine-ment wherein we believe that the mind is something so ‘fine’ that we have to protect it, shield it and defend ourselves from any potential threat to ‘our being,’ but is it?  Or have we just been making/creating Gods in order to excuse the actual Fear that we experience to actually face the fact that we have built an entire world as our own prison, wherein all our decisions have Never been real, but only based on Self-Interest, which is certainly the interest of who we are as our mind only which uses Fear as the most effective protection mechanism, never ever considering what’s best for all as a physical tangible reality, which would certainly be the solution to end all fears – but why have we Not seen this before?

 

Now, looking at the world: Fear is everywhere – from our so called petty peeves to extreme moves and decision making that defines the lives of millions of human beings, Fear can be spotted as the default ‘background’ within it all.

Is it fearful to realize this? Well, only who we are as our minds can create Fear upon the already existent thick layer of fears we have embodied without even realizing how and to what extent we have essentially become a handful of fears that develop personalities and characters for each occasion – I think, thus I fear is what should be a more of an actual understanding of how the moment that we separate ourselves from our physical reality: wham! we are up there scheming, thinking, looking at ourselves as a mind that must protect itself at all cost. It’s time to be willing to go facing our fears: from the most obvious fears that we have even held as ‘personal favorites’ – you know, such as fearing the dark, fearing clowns, fearing to be judged and so forth to the most seemingly imperceptible fears for example when we talk to another being and we suddenly shift our eyes to another direction, in fear of being looking into the eyes when we speak about something wherein we KNOW that our mind is being exposed, along with all the variety of subtle ‘microexpressions’ that we have embraced as our ‘default’ expression – however: who, what and HOW did we shape ourselves into it?

That’s what we learn how to walk, dissect, explore and essentially get to know ourselves as within the Desteni I Process, studying all the Desteni Material and the excellent one-of-a-kind existential education available at Eqafe, wherein we are finally understanding the actual steps to Change the World from our Fearful beingness of the Mind as our own Mind Control to an actual Self-Understanding that will inevitably lead to the process of Self Liberation as Self Birthing Life here in and as the  physical, wherein who we are in our within and without exists as the transparency of what living as flesh and bones should be all about: speaking only when it’s required, thinking practical ways to establish solutions in this world, standing one and equal to the totality of ourselves as our mind and physical to ensure that every single movement is actually Self-Directed and Self-Awareness at all times – yes, from the awareness of one single blink of our eyes to how this entire system functions as our the externalization of our minds.

Great, isn’t it? We’ve got the tools, we have the understanding, we really have it all on a Golden Platter.

It’s just about time we face our greatest Fears – Let’s go stopping our participation in the mind as fear and we’ll realize: we’re still here.

 

Support the Equal Money System which is the primary way in which we are practically proposing a System that is Also an educational tool to learn how to co-exist as equals, simply because inequality has stemmed from the actual fear of not having ‘enough’ and as such, developing Greed from that belief that scarcity is something actually possible – yet we haven’t realized how scarcity as the SCARE with which we maintained ourselves controlled, is an actual outflow of a system that was built in order to maintain and sustain people with ‘pacified minds’ wherein fear became the best way to ensure that no human nature could further scavenge the earth. Well, in our attempt to control, we have become the controlled ones by our Own Creation which is the current monetary system. Hence, we can stop now biting our own tail and realize how a New World System in and as Equality as Life can only exist if we first stop living in fear and start considering what Life can actually be the moment that we dare to stand as Equals.

This is Just one decision away: once you take the decision and walk it, you’ll realize that everything that was preventing you from making such decision was only a self-created Fear.

Journey to Life Blogs: Read them all and see what you fear

Desteni Forum for assistance and support

Demonology 

Face Your Demons

Blogs:

 

Interviews:

My favorite Soul of Money Interview thus far, a MUST Read to see how money affects our entire beingness in this world system:

The Soul of Money – Mind Slaves to Money Authority – Part 31

 

Watch the Documentaries The Century of Self and PsyWar


112. Who am I within Evading Communication?

Who are we when we ‘don’t feel like talking to someone’?

This came up yesterday in my writings as a pattern I played out in childhood – however I can see it in subtle ways wherein even taking certain paths to not have to talk to certain people have been a constant throughout my life. And this has been such an ingrained pattern that it’s been only now that I am investigating it – it seems that to me it was perfectly normal to ‘not want to talk to people’ and essentially develop evasive patterns, which I disclose here:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question why I would simply not ‘feel like talking’ to people/ communicated and who I am within this evasive pattern wherein I am essentially denying myself the opportunity to communicate with another in any given moment.

 

I realize that this has been a life-long pattern that emerged as a child wherein I wanted to be and remain a ‘special’ and ‘unique’ girl that was deemed as more mature than others, wherein I used this positive-feedback as a way to justify my ‘selective/ picky nature’ wherein I would then feel righteous to choose who I would communicate with and who I would simply be able to discard according to the values I created within my mind as who was ‘worthy’ enough of communicating with me and who wasn’t/ at the same wondering if I was worthy enough to communicate with certain people that I deemed as ‘more’ than myself – this is how I built my own value-scheme wherein I essentially grew up to speak with people on the surface, but rarely ever communicate the reality of myself with others.

 

When and as I see myself going into a slight experience of anxiety and future projection of probably meeting someone while walking out in the street/ going out and already scheming ways to evade talking to the person/ people by changing routes, I stop and I breathe. I realize that me wanting to ‘hide’ from people stems from not wanting to interact, simply because of disliking having to ‘answer questions,’ without realizing that I decide what I share and how I direct myself in any given moment of communication.

 

I realize that I am the one that is able to stop following the pre-planned protocols of communicating with people in my every day environment, and that the experience of dread toward having to ‘talk about the same every time’ is depending on me and where I direct communication to now.

 

This reveals how any form of friendship or relationship was built always within the consideration of a ‘compatibility’ that inevitably creates a point of specialness between two beings, which is what generates the most conflict in reality, as one eventually reduces all ability to interact and express with any other being just because of holding to this ‘one’/ few relationships wherein we believe we are ‘being comfortable,’ however we are only comfortable because it is such relationships that ensure we remain trapped in our ‘personal limits’ as the characters and personalities that we agree to play out with one another, which is how we define ‘having a good time’ with a friend or a family member/ colleague or any other being that can immediately support our ‘who we are’ as the mind and as such, developing a kinship that separates ourselves from the rest of the beings, as there is now a ‘special bond’ created that functions like an ‘exclusivity’ between two beings while deliberately closing off all opportunity to expand and interact with more beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow up with the idea that I had to create ‘special relationships’ with whom I would be sharing myself with, which is how we learn that we cannot just communicate with anyone, but we have to create ‘special bonds’ and relationships to do this with only certain people. I realize that this mechanism is the primary way to ensure that human beings remain separated and secluded within relationship bubbles that become a form of private property and ownership wherein who another being is in our minds is defined according to the history, experiences, memories as the accumulation of moments we’ve spent with them – instead of realizing that interaction and communication that is in fact physically here is constant and consistent and does not require a ‘history’ behind to be able to communicate.

 

I realize that this point of preference is me still placing value onto people as in considering some ‘more’ and others ‘less’ according to a preferential rate that I have created within myself and that has run in an automated mode, wherein I have gone as far as thinking that people in my life that were ‘meant to be important’ were the ones I would find myself being comfortable with – while thinking that everyone else I had nothing to do with, which is how I lived a life seeking for these ‘special connections’ without ever even daring to see that all human beings are the same and that there is no need to create ‘special connections’ in order to interact, share and communicate with another.

 

When and as I see myself creating a point of separation as to ‘who I want to communicate with and who I don’t’ – I stop and I breathe, I realize that the mind is the only one seeking for ‘special beings’ to communicate with. Thus, I direct myself to break my own ‘religion’ of only communicating with certain people that ‘I like talking to/ I enjoy communicating with’  as this is the way that I can in fact expand myself beyond my own limitations of ‘who I speak to.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deliberately short-worded and laconic toward people with whom I didn’t want to continue communicating with, simply because of rapidly having assessed that ‘we were not compatible/ not in the same wavelength’ which even by the expression proves how it is that we have become nothing but frequencies looking to match each other to ‘complete’ each other, which implies that everything I had considered within communication was using words to feed the ‘who I am’ as my mind and that everything and anyone that challenged this, would be seen as threat that I had to immediately ‘stop talking to,’ yet because I did not understand this mechanism, I simply would assess that ‘we were not meant to be,’ and as such accepting such rejection toward another and reaction as real, without seeing how in that moment of deciding to deliberately stop talking to another was me as my mind deciding who I am in such moment – and never really even daring to see HOW it is that I created such a point of preference in such a short time, which is proof of how we go through our days assessing people as images, as few words and profiling them in order to see whether they ‘fit’ our value-schemes of potential friend/partner, just because of how we see that such beings would definitely support our own mind-possession as personality, wherein life is absolutely neglected and forgotten while everything that is looked for is a sense of ‘compatibility’ to support the ‘who we are’ as the mind.

 

I realize that this evasiveness is actually a cool point to flag from here on as this is the way that I can now be aware of me stepping into the ‘picky character’ that would simply decide not to communicate with someone based on a sparing assessment of a person, which is obviously only me as the mind deciding ‘who’s worth it/ who’s not worth it’ as an immediate mechanism to ‘choose’ who I want to communicate with, which is what I see and realize is as elitist as wanting to preserve benefits over any other beings in this world, as I realize that any form of ‘special relationship’ is in fact wanting to continue existing as that point of separation that we have created through/ as relationships in our reality and existence.

 

I realize that I am in the verge of stepping into mind control wherein I become complacent to the preferences of a mind that has never considered the possibility of being able to communicate with any other being as one and equal. Thus I realize that whenever I see myself wanting to evade a person is me playing out the ‘evasive’ character as a way to not have to actually share myself unconditionally, simply because of how I had placed such ‘special value’ to ‘me sharing myself’ to only apparent ‘special beings,’ without realizing that in this, I am creating a point of separation by my own selective participation. I see, realize and understand that these are the  opportunities to break the pattern of ‘selective communication’ that I had lived as without a question before.

 

When and as I see myself being deliberately short-worded and laconic toward beings while thinking that I want to ‘stop talking to them’ already – I stop and I breathe –I direct myself to continue speaking if the point is here for us to communicate, and/ or deliberately push myself to open up with others, to finally realize how it is possible to interact without requiring to load a ‘memory’ of someone or having built up a personal archive of experiences with another in order to interact/ communicate and as such live here in the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I had only a ‘few friends’ because of not many ‘understanding me,’ which was a deliberate self-victimization and self-manipulation patterns  that I used as an excuse to remain selective in my communication with others, which certainly ensured that I remained as the same character that would never question my ability to communicate with others.

 

I realize that I can communicate and share myself unconditionally with any being just by realizing that communication must be physical, words that are spoken in the moment can be expressed without requiring to ‘assess’ the being in order to know ‘how to communicate’ as that would be me wanting to ‘fit in’ another’s schemes and values as to who they want to speak to and who they don’t, which is how we have all caged each other within these apparent incompatibility that eventually leads us to not even try and push further such limitation, but accepting such ‘incompatibility’ as real, without realizing that two physical bodies do not require to be ‘compatible’ in nature as the organism in order to be able to interact – thus it is clear that such limitation is existent only at a mind level and as such it only exist in each other’s mind as our relationships with each other and our relationship to the world, wherein we believe that some ‘do deserve’ not having any money to live

 

I see, realize and understand that money is also a form of communication and that me creating a point of evasiveness and/ or deliberate separation from another is only me giving into the elitist world system wherein the distribution of the resources is not given to all unconditionally, but is determined by a set of arbitrary and evil rules and regulations that in no way considered that all beings are equal.

 

Thus, If I stand up for an Equal Money System, I realize that such point of Equality begins within and as myself wherein I stop valuing people as more or less than who I am here as a physical being that coexist with all other living beings that I have simply separated myself from when existing as a mind that only seeks to build up its special-guest party list in order to leave some as Very Important People in one’s mind and the rest as ‘Non-Important-People’ where we sever our ability to recognize each other as equals,’ essentially dishonoring each other as equals and instead giving into a  mind possession wherein there can apparently be something ‘more’ or ‘less’ than who we are.

 

Self-Equality and Oneness begins with me here, walking a process of Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact realize and recognize how I became the image and likeness of this world system and how through my participation, I became the creator and sculptor of myself as a world-system keeper that only acted in one’s own benefit to create relationships that would only support myself as the mind and subsequently, give continuation to the world system wherein selectiveness, specialness and elitism became ways to ensure that no one questioned why we lived in such a polarized world, because we learned and acted upon such ‘selectiveness’ without a question.

 


“I commit myself to show – why/how energy and money is in fact the evil in this world that reverse the opportunity for life/living with/as the physical, as money and energy is what consume life/physicality as the body and this physicality existence into and as its main system as the Mind/the World System to continue existing/surviving. And that the process of/as actual LIFE/LIVING that is here for all, equally as one, is walking out of the Mind into the Physical, aligning the World System to/as this physical existence/humanity in equality and oneness as the Equal Money System.” -Sunette Spies

 

Desteni
Desteni I Process
Read our blogs at Journey to Life
And Educate yourself about our co-creative processes in this reality at Eqafe 

DSC00415

 

Blogs to Understand the Equality Equation:

 

Interviews:


It’s all About the Attitude!

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

‘It’s all about the attitude’ Has become quite a well known way to insert ourselves into the world system that is pretty much image driven and how getting the right looks, the right outfit and the right presentation can get you to achieve your goal in a successful manner. I also listened about this in the interview Apathy Control within the series the Soul of Money which explains this mechanism to the T, and also giving awesome perspectives on how to use the system, our skills and abilities to support ourselves/ others within a basic principle: Equality as Life to actually develop ourselves within living purpose where ALL beings can be benefited from our personal living commitment to create a system that ensures life is equally regarded and dignified for all.

However, at the moment in this world, such statements represent the Capital-I, the eye that sees and buys/ sells whatever is fulfilling a positive perspective of oneself reflected on another – or any other idea of self that is sought/ pursued within a positive view perception, all aiming at the highest target on the chart of ‘successful living’ within this world.

 

The quote reminded me of the Sex Pistols and how their success revolved around proposing an image which became the inevitable reference to Punk Rock in the 70’s, and how the image and attitude made the band ‘who they are’ as a famous act in England and the world,  as opposed to being a particularly skillful set of musicians. Their image actually became a successful advertising campaign for a clothing store that “changed its focus from retro couture to S&M-inspired “anti-fashion”, with a billing as “Specialists in rubberwear, glamourwear & stagewear” (from Wikipedia entry on Sex Pistols)

And so a trend was born: being punk – and later on any regular rockstar was ‘all about the attitude’ that would often overshadow the actual skills that such people would actually present as musicians.

What is attitude? It is an image, a presentation, a character that in such case  – and in all cases that represent ‘successful living’ depict strength, power, determination, freedom, enjoyment, certainty, dominion and a lots of glamour – all that which any regular being within the westernized world would deem as traits to aspire owning/ becoming/ living by.

 

I’m pretty sure that you’ve sometime in your life had an ‘idol’ that you can identify as a role model because of the attitude they would present as a character that You would like to be like/ become. It’s like when you ‘fall in love’ with someone and you don’t know anything about them, but you like their presentation, their attitude, their ‘flair’ and in that:  you want to own them/ possess them to become equal and one to such attitude, because: you perceive you lack such attitude/ flair yourself.

What happens with such human predictability? We’ve got a sellable item as something/ any character that YOU will surely buy as an experience that you acquire with money, within this confirming that we are in fact a consumerist driven society seeking for positive-highs through anything that can represent a ‘better idea’ of what being a human being is, something that makes you feel ‘better’ about yourself because we haven’t yet realized how every relationship that we have created with  and toward anything/ anyone in this world, Is stemming from separation, a perceived ‘lack,’ an unfulfilled state of being that has become like a damnation that seeks to be ‘complete,’ ‘fulfilled,’ and satisfied by anything that will level up the perceived positive experience into a constantly up kept status quo of well-being.

We’ve created a picture-driven world wherein characters are valued for the attitude they present.

 

We’ve got a winner

So who benefits from this human weakness to idolize, mimic and even obsess about characters such as what we get on the media about famous people/ celebrities/ rockstars/ rocket scientists/ CEO’s/ sports people and virtually anyone that is ‘above’ your regular Joe? Well, anyone that is well aware of how we tend to follow such weakness on to the grave if necessary – just to get a ‘little piece of heaven,’ and in that buy anything and anyone that will give us the same experience that we perceive such beings experiencing themselves as.

 

Ask yourself: why have we become such addicts to idolizing? Why have we become obsessed with fueling someone’s self-created masquerade of success such as presenting a single ‘attitude’ that will drive the masses crazy?

I was listening to the radio and Elvis Presley came on – a white man that got all the attitude  (and voice) to rock people’s world – literally speaking – while singing covers by Little Richard and Ray Charles. So, what sold was the image that this man had, the entire attitude that broke the paradigms of his time. Obviously and the same point we can transpose to anyone else in the music world for example, wherein they might have the attitude/ looks that sells well, but have to sing someone else’s compositions because they actually haven’t developed the skills to write their own songs.

This is just an example and analogy of what we have become as a whole: a picture driven society.

A symptom of a plastic world is where looks/ attitude sells, regardless of ‘what’s inside’ and in that, we have doomed ourselves to become perversely driven by images, attitudes wherein we know what we want, we know that we like to buy that which will make us feel at least a little bit closer to that which we aspire to become – and all of this is what makes up our current CULTure, where your success is determined by the amount of self-seeking individuals that you can attract by presenting all the attributes that you know the majority ‘lacks,’ but in fact simply haven’t allowed themselves to accept as an equal attribute themselves.

We’ve got a way to go to remove all the limitations that have lead us to ‘pay for’ entertainment and experiences, because we will learn how we can give that to ourselves without fueling an entire machinery of superficial values that have no regard to life in Equality. The entertainment system will have to implode as the real values of Life emerge within each one as the consideration that everything we have ever bought and sold has had a fake value imposed upon.

The one and only value in this world is Life.

Make sure you are Not part of this thinking pattern wherein looks is all that counts and ‘talents’ have become simply morphing into more lucrative ways to sell yourself and get the most of the cake.

 

For Self-Support to step out of any form of mind control:

Desteni 

Desteni Forum

And to support a system wherein all life will be valued as equal and No one will ever be able to/ resort to ‘sell themselves’ only by looks without developing any actual equality in expression:

Equal Money System 

 

 

Enlighten yourself about who you really are:

The Secret Energy-Consuming Machine Revealed: DAY 19

Day 9: Politeness

I’ve been having in the back of my head how I developed the survival system of behaving politely/ in a socially acceptable manner since I was a little child. This is mostly to how I was raised by my parents and other socioeconomical factors that have created definitive ‘marks’ on who I am as my behavior.

 

The image that comes to my mind is a picture that I saw once in my photo album from my first years alive and I am placing a napkin hanging from the collar of my t-shirt with a rather righteous/haughty/ fancy look and my mother is next to me looking at the camera. Another one is a picture of me with a paper-made crown sitting on a sofa, like a ‘throne’ for a queen when I was just 2 and a half years old; there’s another one of me sinking my hands in a bucket of water while my then nanny is crouching down and looking at me, probably warning me about getting all wet and that I should not sink all my arms into the bucket of water that was probably as tall as my waist line. My father’s car is in the background which means I wanted to clean it just the way he does, I was only 3 years old then. There’s also pictures of me having these huge headphones and sitting next to a tape recorder while having my mouth open, which means I was singing. Well, all those points developed into defined personalities such as being always holding a napkin on my hand while eating as a symbol of ‘proper manners’ and eating behavior, being a cleanliness freak, being a ‘music lover’ and being a self-righteous ego on two feet within a sense of having some domain or specialness in me. And I was only 2 to 3 years old in all of those photos.

 

So this point came up as something to write about when listening to some interviews today in relation to observing behavior, which is one dimension that I have not fully delved into looking myself as behavior linked to the personalities that I developed throughout the years. I tested out a word to write about today and ‘manners’ came up which is then how this whole point opened up.

 

Being polite is one of the main ‘characteristics’ and behavior that I play out when being with people and ‘in public,’ and the image of my father playing to be a polite soldier comes up, actually my mother would call me something like little tin soldier when I was a little girl, which probably explains a lot as well. Okay but not to deviate from the point. My father would always let us know to ‘be still!’ and basically both my parents educated us in such a way that we would act like little grown up people.

 

This politeness got imprinted ‘heavily’ later on from when I was 6-7 years when socializing with my parents friends whom I perceived as ‘more than’ because of essentially having quite a lot of money and having these huge houses and living in cool residential areas that I would enjoy going to play to. In that, I would perceive such world as everyone being ‘polite’ – which is how I’ve linked it to being ‘political’ in the character/way of being that politicians act like, which is basically focusing on presenting a particular façade to play safe all the time when being in public.

 

‘Keeping a good image’ was something also induced by my mother, hers was mostly in the ‘expressive’ aspect of watching my mouth and not being ‘impertinent’ when speaking to people –my father focused on the physical behavior, like telling us to sit properly and crouching down to always pull up my socks and ensuring my shoes are clean. I’m laughing because of how much I simply accepted that as ‘normal’ and that’s why I had such a hard time interacting with other kids because they didn’t give a fuck about manners and being polite or getting their clothes dirty – so I developed a judgmental experience toward anyone that ‘would not be polite’ = being a regular human being, really.

 

Till this day I’ve caught myself going into a reaction the moment that I perceive that someone is Not being polite as in ‘taking advantage of a position’ – like someone wanting to win a place in the queue for something – or getting one step ahead of me to have a better place while waiting for the train, seemingly ‘unnoticeable events’ wherein I have automated responses of criticizing and judging people because of them not being polite.

 

The points that I’ll be walking and opening up are aspects of myself that I had not opened up for having them as ingrained belief systems that I deemed as ‘positive’ and in that, thinking that I should not bother to look at them, without realizing that there is actually a great part of myself ‘hidden’ behind these seemingly cool attributes that I’ve lived so far. As long as there is an entire indoctrination system behind it, I must investigate it, which means that no matter how ‘cool’ I perceive a point that I’m living to be, I must investigate it to make sure that whatever I am building/ creating and establishing myself here as, is based on actual self-understanding of How I got to be ‘who I am’ at the moment – in such case, how ‘manners’ exist as a belief system charged with a positive experience wherein the ‘negative’ is created the moment that I, through my politeness-filter of reality, judge and criticize everyone that I believe are Not polite and within that Not ‘humanly’ enough to interact with.

 

This means that I’ve created of my ‘politeness’ an elitist system wherein I believe that a well-educated being will have certain attributes that make them consider others before them, a way of perpetual altruism that often evokes a ‘good feeling’ out of it, which means it is an energetic-based personality and not an unconditional expression of self, as a sense of neighborism that is acquired within the basic principle and understanding of What’s Best for All as Equals.

 

I’ll be continuing opening up different aspects and dimensions of this ‘manner’ point as the behaviors ingrained with personalities throughout different stages of my life, which I had not opened up in fear of them being almost ‘self-glorifying’ yet suppressed and still existent within me, which means that every time I suppress it, I am recreating it and accepting it as ‘part of myself/ who I am’ without even noticing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as ‘politeness’ as a behavioral pattern that I had deemed to be ‘positive’ and ‘good’ for myself within the belief that being polite is an attribute that all people should live by, as that would make our coexistence ‘easier’ in this world, without considering that it is actually only an experience that I have created based on survival as the improved acceptance that a polite person gets within society and certain socieconomical stratus wherein money dictates the education that a person has, and in that, the behavioral patterns that denote a person’s ‘quality of living’ and parental values at home.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give continuation to a behavioral pattern such as ‘having good manners’ from the starting point of revealing/ showing that ‘I am well educated’ and in that, creating an ideal of who I am as ‘my education’ as ‘my family’ and ‘values’ that I have given to a certain behavior wherein I then judge/ criticize anyone that cannot fit into a category of being well-educated/ polite, without realizing how this is a belief system that I have adopted and continued in the name of representing ‘who I am’ as a configuration based on how my parents wanted us to ‘be’ within the social context wherein high-education, manners and ‘values’ are highly regarded, which would ensure our survival and positioning in the world system within a high-stratus in society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person with ‘good manners’ is well educate as a synonym of being ‘a good neighbor’/ good person which implies that I have created my own elitist value schemes toward people according to how I see them through my politeness-filter personality, which implies that I will only ‘mingle’ with those that I perceive as educated, well mannered and polite according to how I was taught I should be/ behave as a little child at home.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a superiority experience within me whenever I see myself being ‘polite’ toward people and getting an ‘instant-gratification’ reward such as being thanked for doing something for another which is then implying that my ‘politeness’ is not an unconditional common sensical expression of and as self, but still an energetic personality that I try to keep up to, without realizing that in this, anything that steps out of my ‘politeness schemes’ I judge and criticize as lower/ inept/ rascal/ savage, without realizing that this is how I have had such an immediate judgmental behavior toward people while interacting in reality, due to how I have been conditioned to believe that polite people are ‘worthy’ and the opposite are ‘unworthy,’ in this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how politeness/ well mannered people is linked within my belief system to having enough money and in a certain social position that I have been taught is ‘more valuable’ than someone that is uneducated/impolite/ rascal/ savage according to the judgments that I learned as the way to denote someone that would probably not have enough money to be ‘well educated’ and in that, accepting the point of discriminating people according to the amount of money they would have, while absolutely neglecting and not even considering why on Earth such polarities even exist.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having regarded my parent’s imprinting onto myself as ‘good manners’ as something that I had to be grateful for, without realizing the actual belief system as elitism that I accepted and allowed to exist within me when linking good manners to ‘affluent people’ and bad manners/ impolite people to ‘lower class/ moneyless people’ and in that, creating a positive experience toward ‘fellow polite people’ and a negative experience toward ‘impolite people,’ as well as a neutral experience to people that I would perceive as expression-less within not being decidedly polite or impolite, which would be then linked to undefined within my schemes of human categorization according to education and money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of comfort and openness as an experience created upon interacting with someone that I perceive and profile as being ‘well educated/ polite’ within the identification of that which I was taught I should be like and aspire to become, which I accepted as a valuable aspect within human beings which lead me to create a positive experience within myself whenever I behave in a ‘polite manner,’ while creating the exact opposite as a negative experience as the immediate profiling of people that I perceive to be savage/ uneducated/ impolite, which I have accepted to discriminate/ judge in my mind while believing that I didn’t want anything to do with such people, creating the ultimate elitist experience based on manners.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘How I behave’ is who I really am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still perpetuate the ‘ingrained values’ that I acquired at home, that I have kept due to them being seemingly ‘positive attributes’ within my personality, without realizing that it is in these ‘values’ that I have perpetuated the existence of good/ bad, positive and negative as well as neutral experiences toward people according to How I deem them to be within my polite/ impolite schemes, as the manners they present on face value when interacting with people in any given moment.

 

When and as I see myself categorizing someone as polite and creating a positive experience within me toward them, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am accessing my politeness-filter wherein I am valuing and regarding the people as ‘good’ and ‘benevolent’ based on the attitudes and manners that they present. Therefore I realize that I must treat every person equally regardless of how they ‘present’ themselves, as I realize that such manners are a survival-masquerade to remain as ‘worthy’/ ‘valuable’ within a system where money decides who is ‘worthy’ and who is not and seeing good manners as the direct consequences of having money to be well educated, in this creating a positive experience toward people with money.

 

When and as I see myself judging a person as being ‘impolite’/ presenting bad behavior such as ‘bad manners’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am accessing the politeness-personality wherein I am then adjusting my experience to be negative and derogatory toward such being for being seemingly ‘uneducated’ and a ‘rascal’ without considering at all that I am creating such separation based on the link that I’ve created in my mind as ‘bad manners = poor education’ as a symbol to represent lack of money/ being poor, which I have created and associated a negative experience toward.

 

I realize that with me stopping the polite/ impolite judgments toward myself and others, I stop perpetuating the current money system wherein rich/ wealthy creates a positive experience while poverty/ lack of money represents and creates a negative experience, as well as the non-expressive people that I have judged as ‘mediocre’ which are all values I have separated myself from in relation to the same values we have separated ourselves from life through/ as money.

More to come…

 

Blogs of the day:

 

Interview support:

2012: The Secrets of Competition

 

  •  

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 14,926 other followers

%d bloggers like this: