Tag Archives: living

393. To Live Courage in the At-Most-Fear

 

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If there’s one thing required to walk this process of self-honesty is courage, is having the guts to be able to live a different starting point that we have been taught-into throughout our entire existence, which is  to live in fear, to not take risks, to ‘play safe’ in the game, to follow the rules, to avoid any form of punishment and as such never really challenge the status quo.

I remember that I would have to ‘pull up my socks’ so to speak when it came to being able to be frank and direct to see my own hidden agendas, the reasons why I chose to be and become a particular personality, why I would like and dislike things, why I would dress in a particular way, why I would stash so much knowledge on certain fields and not others, how I wanted to be seen and validated by others according to the great lie I could construct and build up as part of a general process that we even encourage in our society, which is that of ego-creation/personalities in order to satisfy an idea of oneself being valuable in the world-market where everything we do and say can be sold and bought as part of the merchandise that we produce every single day in a world, where life is not really lived, but bought and sold too.

So the moment that one starts challenging the whole starting point of ‘who I am’ from the achievement of personal glory and fame or ultimate recognition by ‘others’ and so be apparently ‘powerful’ in society, one is faced with the challenge of having to actually do things for the sake of oneself – not for another, not for gaining a prize or a ‘good mark’, or a ‘good position’ for the sake of being above others – but because one actually decides to stop existing in such superior/inferior survival mode of fighting against each other and instead, one realize that one can in fact stop living in the constant competition and struggle to ‘get to the top’ by fearing not ‘getting to the top’ and so realize that these hierarchical structures have only been ideas, constructs in our minds that we’ve imprinted within us from the very first moments we begin comparing ourselves to others and begin quantifying and valuing things and people as more-than or less than ourselves.

It’s interesting that I hadn’t looked at the ability to stop living in such more-than/less-than mentality of survival and fear as something that requires courage, because it actually implies no longer being motivated by fear of having/not having or being more-than/ less-than something or someone while fueling the desire to be more than, which are general constructs that we usually keep our entire societies running with. In my case I saw the common sense of stopping that constant requirement to be ‘validated by others’ and/or expecting recognition, which actually implies having the courage to do things for myself in a world where we’re taught that we always have to focus on doing it for the sake of something and someone else only, to get a certain job/position in the system, to get more fame and recognition, to obtain a relationship, to be granted some form of tribute, to appear as ‘more than’ at all times, which in turn  we create the nature of the system where this constant ‘struggle’ is seen as “success” because we have never actually valued who we really are for what we are already, for what we are able to live and conduct as a matter of self-direction instead of having to ‘fit it’ into schemes of validation that don’t support life. We don’t value self-honesty yet as a principle to focus on developing as our new human nature, but instead we value the ability to cheat, deceive and ‘get ahead of others’ as intelligence or cunningness, which is entirely twisted and non-supportive as we can see. We have always measured everything against a flawed system of values that in no way correspond to promoting doing meaningful things to precisely change the status quo of fear and complacency that we have remained as throughout our human history.

By simply making the decision to challenge and slowly but surely change everything that we have ever thought ourselves to be, one requires a massive amount of courage because we’re essentially recognizing that we will go nowhere if we remain in our comfort-zone, in our ‘known ways’ that have perpetuated this culture of fear, apathy, complacency and an upside-down set of values that in no way support the discovery and living realization of who we really are as the potential of life. All we’ve ever done is fear, survive and ‘get through the days’ with the most we can – is that living? No, and certainly challenging this doesn’t mean ‘drop-out of the system’ or ‘fight against the powers that shouldn’t be’ but it is in fact to begin identifying How have I become my own limitation, how have I continued to ‘play the game’ that I know is not supportive for myself and others in this world, where we are able to participate and through our living-behavior become the practical example of living principles that are best for all. To stop fear, to stop fearing taking risk means to be able to step outside of the ‘known zone’ and be able to make a stand to no longer ‘follow’ but rather take the wheel and plan our lives  in a different way, so that while we are still living in an unpredictable situation when it comes to money, our own ability to remain alive the next day, we can be fully responsible and directive when it comes to establishing solutions day by day. And solutions cannot be created when we hold on to the fear of ‘who I would be’ or ‘what I would create’ as a future projection, but instead simply live it, test it out, try it out, taking the risks because we fear making decisions to change the aspects that we already know are detrimental to our lives and in that, we already abdicate our power to change things, without even trying first.

So this is to also remind myself that the moment that I hold myself back is actually a point of fear that I have to investigate, a point where I am still driving myself through the imprinted and memorized survival mode, the status quo, the ‘chains of the past’ that I have to open up and find out where it is that I am still attached to what I often complain as ‘the obstacle’ to move or do something, what am I holding onto, or what do I fear losing by doing it and in this realizing that I am the only one that can be such obstacle through ideas, beliefs and perceptions of what is holding me back, what isn’t allowing me to ‘do’ or ‘be’ something, wherein I have used something/someone as an excuse to limit my direction, my change, to develop myself to my utmost potential.

Here it is thus to utilize that little ‘spark’ of life that I have and to not allow myself to ‘overpower’ it with the ball and chain that I’ve created as things, people, institutions, systems that I’ve seen as ‘the problem’ and realize that no one is actually responsible for my limitation but myself, my own fear and that nothing can in fact limit me as long as I am capable of doing, learning, communicating, moving myself beyond my perceived boundaries and so realize that instead of perpetuating the limitation of what I perceive ‘society’ or ‘the system’ to be, I take the stand to realize it’s always been me, myself and so no more accept and allow myself to live As the limitation, as the limited aspect of myself, as the complacency and apathetic piece of mind that I’ve lived as, because I realize that if I allow myself to hinder my expression based on an idea, belief or perception I have of something or someone and how ‘it affects me’ I am not taking responsibility for what I realize I have to do which is to move, to take a stand, to live the courage to ‘swim against the current’ which doesn’t mean ‘fighting’, but certainly a self-motivated decision to walk through the sea of limitations I’ve built around a point I’ve defined as ‘difficult’ or ‘challenging’ to me –  I realize this will be the only way to actually step out of fears and discover the potential that I have buried with my self-limitations of who/what I believe I should be to perpetuate the ‘idea of myself’ in relation to others.

This is about myself, what I decide to live, to motivate me to do things for myself, to not do something to be valued or validated within the system, but to do it as part of me walking a point into completion and this is not limited to ‘tasks,’ but to everything that I decide to live and become, to live As the determination to get something done, to become the solution that I so many times have complained is so necessary in this world.

So, here’s to the commitment to live courage in the Earth’s At-Most-Fear and so transform my apathy and lack of perseverance into a self-determination, focus and consistency to do it for my self, to challenge myself, to not allow my preprogrammed-limitations to still define ‘who I am’ as I see that’s the biggest problem we face in the world right now: not wanting to challenge ourselves and our starting point of living.

And so, I commit myself to do that which I have defined as ‘limiting’ because in limiting myself form doing ‘such limitation’ I am fin act only perpetuating the limitation in itself based on fear of not fitting into those limitations – lol.

So this is the real revolution, the change we can implement and follow-through within ourselves – there’s no ‘government’ outside of ourselves but only the one we can implement as self-direction in what we think and do in consideration of what is best for myself and all equally.

 

I got a new pen - 2014

 

Suggested Interview:

Accessing your Full Potential (Part 2) – Reptilian Series – 178

 

Suggested Article:

Jack – The Courage to live Self-Honestly

To learn more on how to live Courage and Self-Honesty, visit:


373. Meeting the Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman

Today August 11th, 2013 Bernard Poolman Died and it’s quite the most shocking news you can get on what one would expect to be the most regular Sunday morning on Earth, it wasn’t and I agree with Cerise’s statement My Dad, The Devil: the world is more poor without him.

I must begin with saying that I have never known what to say when people die, and have only attended one single funeral that wasn’t even from a family member but my mother’s best friend and every time I got to know someone was dead I just could not know what to say or if I should ‘feel’ anything – well today I got a more direct experience of that for the first time. I am 26 years old and have never lost anyone as close to me until today yet I wipe the tears and continue to stand because I’ve gotten more than enough support from him to now be where I am standing today: writing the new contract I’ve acquired with life, walking the process to stand equal and one to the words lived by him as the walking living flesh he was, a man that has been hated by people that are willing to abuse and deny the responsibility we have in this world and  deny what is required to be done on Earth, but at the same time revered by all of us that are grateful for every single moment he would share what would be Here to be shared, in the moment – no preparation, no scripts, no nothing –  and to me it was more than an honor to be able to directly collaborate in being the hands that type out what he would so fluently speak out and yes, that will be no more – but the words are still here and now to be lived by each one of us since it is what we are here to be and become: stand equal to the living principle he embodied, that’s what he really was and continues to Be.

Continuing from:

 

When approaching the Desteni Forum for the first time, we got to see posts by ‘Eagle,’ an individual that would post all videos and continually respond to every single post that was made in such a riddled yet clear cut way that only through reading such words it was like opening my brain to a whole new window that I knew it was there, but somehow it was marvelously placed in such directive simple ways that I immediately knew I’d like to someday be able to directly see the points, which was also learned through all of the replies posted on the DesteniProductions Channels (2007-2011). Later on Eagle became Common Sense and as I begun to participate in the Private Forum in march 2008, I can say that I’ve been tremendously assisted by all the chats conducted by Bernard from that time wherein I’ve learned of the miles of words shared by him, Sunette/Dimensions and everyone else that have contributed with as an essential part of walking the Desteni Process: the support we got at the forum until our very last chat with Bernard this week is something that remains as one of the best dynamites a human being can ever detonate within an indoctrinated mind shaped in the image and likeness of a system of self-abuse, only to make space for genuine living foundations based on living principles

 

 

My initial admiration for Bernard as the words/principles he spoke of later on became a realization of how what he embodied as the Principled Living on Earth, wasn’t about something ‘superior’ or ‘special’ but actually simply living by the principles he spoke of, the actions he lived and the relationships he formed that are the genuine examples that we have as a testimony of a new way of living for humanity if we so want to continue living in this world. He said it best: “Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” and this became a key quote for me to continually remind myself that the sugar and spice type of life we had all been taught to seek and follow was always a Lie. I resonated with this very clearly which is why I resonated a lot to the words he spoke of, he was wording out what I had seen but merely allowed to ‘pass by’ and now being aware of this had a definitive cause and direction: to expose the lies, to learn how to Self Forgive and walk an individual process of Integrity, Self Respect, Honor and most importantly getting rid of all the bullshit that usually keeps us busy in the mind – I certainly learned to appreciate myself and stand as the reality of who I really am and conduct my potential. I didn’t have many conversations with him while at the farm other than very specific points to be discussed and somehow I see that I didn’t entirely open myself up back then as I was still tip-toeing around it all, not wanting my stuff to be exposed yet understanding that he could see it all.

“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” – Bernard Poolman

Such a simple statement  yet absolutely supportive since we tend to create this idea that process is something great, marvelous, that will turn us into these good doers or even worse righteous gods  instantly  when it has nothing to o with that, it is genuinely being willing to actually get to know our demon-self, the truth of ourselves, the reality, the nitty-gritty details that we have all always concealed to learn how to ‘make-up’ with flowery words of love and light, and being ‘good’ and eliciting nice experiences upon other individuals without even realizing to what extent – by keeping these masks – we have continued to keep the current hypocrisy and false-value systems that in no way represent a living principle that life should be. Bernard was the living words of every aspect that required to be said in a world where Life is being sold and Equality is a demonized non-living word. He stood as the living principle of the resolution, the integrity, determination, clarity and discipline required to walk this process that we’ve embarked ourselves in within this Process, this  Journey to Life that involves the dismantling of this world at all levels, even beyond what our minds can conceive in order to establish a new living contract on Earth, a contract that stipulates through our written word the principles, the responsibility and practical steps to actually change the nature of who we have become as individuals in the mind – every single statement written and later on spoken in interviews by Bernard revealed to us a blueprint of the mess we are in as this world system and our individual reality, due to everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. He was always writing the raw truth about reality and opening up the necessary self-confrontation necessary to realize one single thing: we are all collectively responsible for everything we are, everything we’ve become in this world and this was done without ever inciting violence, vengeance or retaliation against ‘others,’ without going ‘against the system,’ without having to incite to revolt or do anything ‘extremist’ as some haters would love to claim he did, just to discredit a message that actually challenged their current self-interested ways of ‘living’ while neglecting abuse.  Instead Bernard did the absolute opposite, he pointed out something we had been missing all along: in this world we have no enemies other than ourselves, individually, we’ve been screwed by our written words that never have considered life in equality – and this clicked within me as the realization of how blindfolded I  had been to always take a stance of antagonism to portray myself as the ‘good person’ without even investigating if such ‘benevolence’ was in fact real – which it obviously wasn’t but only a self-interested mechanism to keep me on ‘good spirits’ while pointing out the flaws in the world.  We were pushed to question ourselves  if it was in fact the integrity I believed myself to have such as in ‘having nothing to do with the ‘evil’ in the world, without even seeing, realizing an understanding that the very thoughts, pictures, imaginations, intentions, secret desires and future projections stood as the very building blocks of our collective illusion – my empire of dirt was debunked and so I realized how worth-less was it to continue ‘holding on’ to something that had never been in fact an example of what living is all about.

 

So, Marlena was the girl that got to the farm in an intense desire to be just noticed right away, and he noticed it right away ‘You are still trying to get recognition’ and realized the point an committed myself to walk and learn what humbleness is about. I was insecure, hooked on harmful relationships, fearing, not wanting to ‘get out and be seen,’ hiding my face behind hair– literally – not wanting to make much noise in the internet, not wanting people to know about myself and my process, being regulated by a sense of ‘self preservation’ of ‘what I like, who I am’ and being fearing any form of conflict wherein I may lose the approval of people or any other ‘meaningful’ relationship I believed to have in this world – well all of these aspects have been slowly but surely debunked throughout time by living and applying the example that Bernard stood as along with every other person that begun applying the same tools within this process.

I got to know I was just asking for another confirmation of a ‘changed character’ a ‘bettered version of myself’ when that wasn’t in fact what this process is about, and within an attempt to keep things in a ‘nice way’ I realized I was only creating yet another mask to conceal myself within the Idea of ‘Change’ without genuinely understanding I was ‘playing it safe’ – until later.

‹Bernard› remember that all is self
thus–self awareness, self standing

make all the words with self you direct your self to be and live it and in the mind–you make up reasons why not to do what you will–but fear others like family

dare to live for real
and fix reality to be worthy of you and all other beings here
  (2008)

 

Marlen's Visit to the Farm 2009

Where is Bernard in that group pic? Lol! I was laughing so hard because he was the one taking the pic an making us all laugh (July 2009, Desteni Farm – South Africa)

 

I am grateful that I was able to visit the farm in 2009 and stay for a year and meet The Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman. When I got at the farm he wasn’t home yet and when he arrived the first words were “You’re already Making Noise!” lol because I was just too happy to be finally there and speaking too much with everyone I had already developed relationships with at the forum and being overtly excited about it all, so I greeted with a big hug and from there on, I was in for the experience of my life, I could have never known how much one can learn from another individual and all the people at the farm walking this process as the support it means in order to understand what Living by Principle in fact means in physical reality.

I probably would have liked to be able to be more open toward him while I was there, I was still wanting to stand somehow ‘in the background’ and not stepping up so much forth as I considered others to be more capable than me and I was still holding onto quite a hierarchized way of thinking that is certainly non existent within me at the moment, since I learned how to plant the seed of self-stability, self-authority, self-will, self-respect, practicing the realization of the importance of the written word in a world consumed by contracts of evil as the reverse of life. I certainly got such resolve within myself while being there and remained cultivating it ever since.

 

At the farm I went through heaven and hell, but the hell must be understood as the necessary as-it-should-be realization that throughout my life I had disregarded essential principles in relation to the ‘who I am’ as ‘my time,’ ‘my preferences,’  ‘wanting to do only what I like/want/feel like doing’ and the consequences that I got to face was the realization of how little was I in fact considering other beings – specially animals in my case – in my reality, but only focusing on this ‘self-enhancement’ without a clear resolve and understanding of what Equality truly means in all practical levels, which lead me to realize coexistence and the equality with all life forms that I had disregarded so far as  a part of everything that is here as myself.

The self that is created is an illusion

 

What I’ve learned from Bernard is a lot more than what I will express in these lines since every single  interaction with him – directly and indirectly –  lead me to strengthen, clarify and expand my understanding of this world, life, the visible and invisible yet verifiable in all ways in terms of observing the nature of this reality as our image and likeness, as the fuckup we all signed ourselves to with ink on the flesh as the self that we sold in the name of experience, of energy. Along with this I was able to develop the ability to recognize the actual abilities, skills and talents that I had doubted I could ever develop. I am grateful for the challenges I was able to take on while being at the farm. Lol, there’s this funny moment where one morning Bernard asked ‘Who wants to take a painting project!?’ and Marlen raises hand right away “Meeee!!” and yes oh boy was it not the kind of ‘painting’ I was expecting but an actual challenge of thick brush and rolling painting an entire building lol, which I managed to do with the help here and there of the other guys, man was I proud of myself and according to that immediate ability to respond and stick to my word of ‘getting it done’ in such an apparent simple task, I was able to realize to what extent I had limited myself by my own thoughts of distrust, of doubt and hesitation to speak – slowly but surely I saw that I had only feared being wrong, saying the ‘bad things,’ wanting to be directed/getting orders instead of actually realizing I could develop the common sense and techniques as I go, and this didn’t only apply to the work done at the farm which was already in itself a challenge but also in relation to the ability to commit oneself to do something and Actually Doing-it.  Such is the nature of the things I learned at the farm, learned Self Will and a determination I had absolutely no Idea I was able to bring forth and establish as myself, as my expression.

 

There’s No doubt that all the points I learned from Bernard and others’ interactions with him enabled me to realize that the actual power we have exists  in and as every single breath, and how we had to let go of fears to stand in order to be visible, to not be fearful or ashamed in any way of what I am doing and this is something continued to be walked every single day as the fear is no longer there, but the resolve is a constant renewal of existential vows, the reason why we’re doing this is because we have kept ourselves waiting for far too long for someone to ‘show us the way,’ and it is only now within this process and having Bernard’s example that a new living nature of humanity became a living possibility for all of us aware of and walking the Desteni process, which is nothing else than applying the tools that Bernard himself used to become what he became: the living word in flesh.

 

 

I’ve described several key moments through my journey in this entire MarlenLife blog of things I learned from him, including the R.I.P God blog wherein I realized the irrelevance of my questions about existence and reality that were based on the same constructs and ideas in separation of myself, detached from any real physical value on Earth.

I was at the Farm when we embarked ourselves in the course that is being now provided as an educational platform of self support for several people that have committed themselves to it: the Desteni I Process – back then the Structural Resonance Alignment (SRA)– and I was one of the first individuals to go through it and have the opportunity to buddy people, learning how to begin trusting my understanding and common sense and placing it into application. I remember also all the times we would have the infamous ‘Interviews from the Farm’ which were usually chats at the lounge are or the veranda with the entire group that was living there where we got some of the greatest lessons one could have ever gotten about the world system, heaven, Earth, the Afterlife, Process, The cure for our Curiosity –  it was like story time with real shocking and real supportive facts that are equally available till this day at the article section http://desteni.org/articles/interviews-from-the-farm   

I will probably always say how 2009-2010 was the greatest year of my life, and a small part of this is depicted in the following video Here as Life

The most supportive thing was when I was able to be called out for the patterns I was existing as and I am being forever thankful for the support Bernard gave me to see that which I had absolutely neglected and refused to see, up to the point where I  walked ‘the death of me’ and assisted myself to more and more grasp what must be done in this process and stand as a point of support for myself and everyone else. The thing is I wasn’t exactly told what to do which was also another point of great support – I took a decision to come back, finish school and continue with my process which has been walked with all the same support we got and continued standing and taking on the point I had resisted the most: the Equal Money System proposal and realized that it was a decision I had made to stand up for something that truly means equalizing the value of Life in this world – along with Bernard’s support we continued to walk all the matrixes of self deception to get back to the point where we have realized no solution on Earth will be possible unless we first focus on the Education of the Human Mind, and this is something I continuously confirmed through and with Bernard every single time which also strengthen the resolution to focus on what we are currently doing: supporting ourselves as we are supporting many others to get past the veils of the mind and be what I have committed myself to be: a Life-Birthing assistant as this is what I received not only from Bernard but Everyone else at Desteni, as the Desteni Group world wide, so we’ll continue to spam the world with common sense and self honesty.

 

 

I had few moments of being with him alone, and our conversations were always very directive lol which is cool in a way because that’s how I got to see that I didn’t have to ‘beat around the bush’ and go straight to the facts, get past the emotional bs and focus on the practical directions.  I must say that I had kept still a veil toward him until the past months where he became more than just a living example but also a buddy, a colleague, someone I could share and laugh with at the nonsense of the world and always bringing it back to a solution – all was clear and a constant confirmation of the common sense learned and developed through living and applying the example that he has provided us all with. I will miss that interaction, but again as the clarity that is here as I write these words, I realize that he exists As the Words we will continue to write, live and stand one and equal to, where “Bernard”ceases to exist as a name and memory only and becomes part of who we are as the words we live, standing as an example and living expression that we decided to take on from him and expand through, walking through the systems until we all realize our actual potential and live it out, because that’s what he was able to see within every single individual that had the decision to walk this process of self support. Yes never in my life had I lived with such unconditional beings at the farm and him being the example of what it is to support another the way we would like to be supported ourselves, not expecting anything in return other than the ability to stand on our own two feet, standing side by side as who he is. 

 

I had great laughs with him as well, I particularly enjoyed all the moments of laughter because he had this great sense of humor, lol everyone should have been able to listen to his characterization of the American accent or when he would approach beings at the gas station, the supermarket and ask them about god and money and what would they prefer to keep if they had the option – lol! But I also got to witness first hand the actual physical process he was going through, I witnessed the amount of pain he would endure on a daily basis due to the systems taken on by him as part of his process. I would become worried about it, I wanted to be a solution to ease his pain and he only said: keep breathing and that is already a cool thing for me – and so I will continue until the last one I give  myself. He explained to me how that was his point in process and how I would do the same in his shoes – I said Yes, and continue to confirm I stand within the resolution and self will I learned from him, a genuine example of what it is to stand by principle, doing all that he could, no matter what and never make a big fuzz about it, but learn how to breathe through it, within the understanding of what must be done here in this world.

 

 

malls the churches of capitalism

 

I learned how to  stand up to my own self-abuse, to  slowly but surely get past the trivial aspects that I had held myself a victim toward or apathetic about and be able to integrate living principles that are absolutely non existent in a reality where we abuse life in the name of power as money, in a world where a single value system has become our image and likeness of desires, wants, needs and imaginations that only benefit ourselves, disregarding the consideration of how the abuse on Earth is not built only through/due to money, but the relationships, the contracts, the profiles, the pictures we’ve created within our reality.

 

I learned what Equality means in physical practical terms, what the equation of 1+1=2 meant and I can now laugh a a bit at myself when we were discussing the Equal Money System back in 2009 and I remember asking him: but what will be the value of money then? And he simply said: Life. Eureka! a whole new world was able to be realized just because it revealed to me what kind of religion our political, economic an political systems had become. I also learned how to give myself direction and take on greater responsibilities within the group, which is something I had held myself back from doing just because of those initial fears and seeing the points as separate from me – yet when realizing the principles required for it, one can certainly develop this resolve as we go integrating the living principles necessary to establish self-trust and be able to genuinely begin living without the constant desire to ‘return to my safe cave’ and ‘forget about this ever happening’ – such point cannot exist when one realizes the extent of the problem we’re facing in this world and existence and the responsibility we hold toward every single word, every single screwed up relationship we’ve established as the reverse of Life and how we must stand up to genuinely correct the damage we’ve done to ourselves and every other living particle we’ve taken for granted as part of ourselves.

My resolve to this process is to establish the living principles he stood as the way I have been walking for the past 5 years, of course I require to strengthen my ability to see beyond the ‘downfalls’ when we see there is no way out, because we both agreed that there is always a way out and that is how one can always see solutions where I once only saw gloom and doom, death and destruction.

 

After these years of having walked the placement and development of economic, political and social systems applying the principles he shared with us, I realize the importance of first beginning to establish a living common sensical understanding and application of all of these principles and actually living them, embodying them as the way we relate to ourselves, to one another,  and stand as that pillar of support to others to o the same because I can see that we require each other to make this work and this is how more than this being about Bernard is about the living principles of self integrity, honor, self respect that we will continue to live and apply toward one another, being grateful for the existence of human beings around the world that as myself are able to Hear his words and commit ourselves to be the examples that this world has yet to realize we are all able to be and become, when we start honoring life and ensuring that we live the words and walk the way forward.

 

Thank you Bernard! I will be forever grateful but more than that, we got to now stand as the principles you left and not be a only a follower – we’re ready and capable of this. Let’s do it!

 

Bernard’s blog:
Creation’s Journey To Life

 

Also check out:

Bernard Poolman’s Quotes

 

 

Matis, Bernard Poolman

Mantis on Bernard’s hand (2009)

Support for Destonians:

 

And don’t forget to watch Bernard’s favorite besides Coffee: The Century of the Self

 

What now?

 

Ready to Become a Destonian and start Walking your Journey to Life?

Here’s How:

1) Make the Decision to Take Responsibility for yourself and stand up for Life in Equality – start Writing Yourself to Freedom, open up a blog and make a commitment to Walk the 7 year Journey to Life and share others’ blogs as well

https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

2) Join the Desteni Lite Free Course to walk step by step the tools of Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty and becoming the Living Solution for this World.

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

3) Join the Desteni Forum: participate in discussions, ask questions and post your own blogs in the 7 Year Journey to Life thread, Let yourself be Known for your Commitment to Stand up for Life

http://forum.desteni.org/

7 Year Journey to Life Walkers: http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=75&sid=361564addd09c47738ca69f5f9da4e82

4) Support the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal – Visit basicincome.me for regular updates and participate in the discussions on the site

http://basicincome.me/

http://basicincome.me/discuss

http://www.youtube.com/biguaranteed

5) Support Desteni and Yourself through investing in Educational and Self Supportive Material at Eqafe.com

https://eqafe.com/ and Hear all the Free Stuff here:

https://eqafe.com/free

6) Read, Subscribe to and Share Destonian’s blogs, vlogs and the Desteni Material on Social Media Sites

Give to the same Support to others as have been Given to You – Spread the Living Word wherever you can

http://destonians.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2403779056/

7) Commit yourself to this Process Realizing that You are not only Walking for Yourself but to bring about a World that we all want to Live in. Share your process in videos YouTube for greater Impact and Support

 

Thank you all for reading and walking with, let’s continue honoring each other.


349. Self Will in Equal Money

Self Will is living the decision to do what is Best for All as a Living Principle.

 

Continuing:

 

 

Problem                                                                

  • Self Willed:   adjective obstinately pursuing one’s own wishes.
  • This drive to pursue our wishes become a synonym to ‘living,’ which is when one is arduously pursuing happiness, continuously aspiring to become ‘the best’ and constantly imagine to be ‘at the top’ to have a point of freedom, enjoyment and expression as the ideals we have only learned to imagine and seek to attain without understanding first why we were born with inherent limitations to not have such conditions as part of our living environment. Self-Will has become a purpose driven action that guides our every breath to ‘attain’ something –or someone – and believe that such wish, desire, want or need is in fact ‘who we are’ and is absolutely real and acceptable; however, what happens when 2/3 of the Earth’s population have no means to attain even their most sincere wishes such as having food on the table, having a house to live in, having potable water and energy resources? Our self-will in a money-driven world has become the justification for greed and wanting ‘more’ even if we already have enough, and we justify this because: it is our ‘pursuit of happiness’ that we are acting on, and because it is part of our constitution we should all be free to live it – but no one questions why happiness is such an expensive thing to buy or attain instead of being readily given by virtue of being alive in this world.

 

  • We are well accustomed to be motivated by our own future projections, our dreams of having a better life or having enough money to settle down and have the perfect life – which means stopping being in a constant survival mode – we use visuals in our minds to remind ourselves why we are doing what we are doing, why we are having a terrible job that we don’t enjoy at all but do anyways because it’s the only option that we have. We constantly like to think that ‘it will only be temporary’  and prefer to daydream about having a better financial situation wherein we won’t have to ‘deal’ with what our lives have become: a fear based and survival driven ‘living’ condition, which is thus not living – but only surviving. We accept this as ‘how things have always been’ and haven’t moved ourselves to question why we created such a terrible conditioning for everyone. We accept being ‘motivated’ by our imagination because we feel that’s the only place where we can ‘truly be free’ and as such, we will ourselves to do whatever is required to ‘make our dreams comes true.’ Unfortunately, such dreams of ‘betterment’ along with the acceptance of ‘how things are’ are part of the social conditioning to have people always aspiring to do better in their lives to attain some form of freedom or wealth, while the carrot is absolutely fixed on a stick and unable to be reached. People spend their lifetimes searching for this freedom to no avail – yet new generations come and everything remains the same, because the system was the one thing that is constantly blamed for this, instead of realizing it is ourselves as human beings that have established our own belief systems and limitations and think this is ‘how the world works.’ This means that we disregard in every moment that we have the power to actually change this.

 

  • Many of us want to create a change in this world, however when self-will to change the world exists as a point motivated by desires or fear of ending up at the very bottom of it all, or facing all the consequences that we have accumulated thus far as humanity, we end up creating solutions that will only deal with ‘removing’ the fear factor and getting ourselves back to a ‘feel good’ condition, instead of realizing how we created the problem in order to establish change. This is why the problem won’t ‘go away’ unless we  live a process of self correction and self realization to recognize the steps of How we created the problem in the first place. This is what we have to realize in order to not seek for a solution outside of ourselves or only blame the system, government, the ‘environment’ for our current condition and  inner experience – Self Honesty implies taking responsibility for everything we see requires to be changed within the understanding that it is the nature of who we have always been that is the cause and source of our current crisis lived at all levels of our existence at the moment. 

 

 

Solution                                                                                       

  • Self Will is living the decision to do what is Best for All. It is expressing ourselves as the volition of Life in Equality – this means directing ourselves to act, think and do what is in the best interest of all life without expecting a reward or attaining something in separation of ourselves. In this, no energy driven experience exists, no ‘ultimate desires,’ no wants or needs are to be satisfied only at an individual level, but  always ensure everyone else’s are also satisfied.  It is the act of driving and motivating ourselves to physically move to do something, to act and make the necessary changes in ourselves, our reality to enable life to be lived for the very first time in Equality, because so far we haven’t been the living word.

 

  • Self Will is the self direction and self movement that stems from walking the process of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness – without Self Honesty there is no Self Will but only energy-driven and self-interest purposed-given lives seeking to attain a ‘betterment’ without taking responsibility and  understanding how and why we created a lack and inequality in the first place.  This self will is thus becoming part of the co-creation and cooperation required to establish a world that is based on Equality as what’s Best for All. This is not good or bad, it is simply establishing the physical considerations to ensure that life is sustained, supported and enjoyed by everyone in Equality as how it always should have been – this includes also our individual regard for one another, toward all animals, plants and the environment as part of ourselves.

 

  • Living, breathing, existing to create a change in this world is part of the process of Self Realization – this practically means that we understand our co-creation and participation in this world system we are currently limited by and enslaved to; within this, we take responsibility for it by understanding that we have to create the necessary changes within ourselves and without as the system’s structure in order to create a genuine correction of every aspect that has to be founded re-directed to be based upon an Equality-based system, where everything that we require to live is given and received as a functional  understanding of who we are as Life – one and equal. This is what Equal Money will provide as the result of our participation as self-willed individuals to support each other as one.

 

  • The  change that we decide to act upon is a Self Willed action: there is no desire, no driving force other than our breath by breath and moment to moment realization that who we are, what we think, what we act or don’t act upon determines the outcome and reality we all live in. It is a realization that if we are all equally responsible for how we have created this world, we have to correct the mess within the understanding and individual application of Self Responsibility where no fear drives us to ‘change the world,’ but we instead do it as part of our day to day process of Self-Honesty and Self Correction to understand that who we are/ what we have become is solely our responsibility and creation and as such, we have the power to change and align to what is Best for All.

 

 

Rewards                                                   

  • Living as Self-Willed individuals is part of the perfect order we can establish in the realization of our Equality as Life. This means that everyone’s living understanding of our responsibility, our application of self honesty is lived and as an expression of who we are in every moment of living here as breath, as life in Equality. This is expressed without an effort, without a hassle, without fear or competition against others – it is the living understanding that we can only create the best living conditions to live if we all act in the best interest of all, if we all drive and motivate ourselves by the realization that our well being depends one everyone’s well being in equality – we require to equalize the totality of ourselves to act, express, and  enjoy who we are and what we do as part of this creation.

 

  • Self Enjoyment is the Reward from living without a constant drive to ‘attain’ something or ‘make a living – It won’t be defined by something we buy and consume in separation of ourselves, but instead we will live Self Enjoyment as the expression and realization of living according to what is best for all which means no harm, no abuse, no attainment, no fear driven reactions, but pure self movement acts and decisions made and based on that which will ensure everyone’s wellbeing is guaranteed and satisfied.

 

  • Self Will becomes our principled living statement as the expression of  Freedom, because there will be no coercion existent in a world where everything we require to live the best way possible is given.  There will be no energetic-high that drives us to become ‘better human beings’ because we will be living this self-improvement as a practical process to expand our abilities and capacity to live in our utmost potential. It is the movement we become as part of an entire organism that can only function in the best living conditions if we all participate and cooperate as equals to sustain it – and this is what living will be understood to be, a realization of the totality of ourselves as a living organism with multiple interactions and individual expressions lived within the principle of what is best for all.  This reward is thus not desire or fear driven, it becomes an expression of who we are in every moment of breath.

 

“If I don’t change, If I don’t move – nothing will change and nothing will move”

 

 

 

Matti (3)

 

Artwork by Matti Freeman

 

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326. Free Trade and Buying Dreams of Progress

NAFTA among many other ‘Regional Trade Agreements’ i.e., special Free Trade relationships between countries have formed the basis of  neo-colonialism, a transnational plutonomy horror show that we all buy into the moment that we think that progress is a cool idea to pursue for ourselves and our nation, but never care to ponder at what cost. We bought the lie and now have to get Self Honest about what we have all accepted and allowed in our attempt to become rich and powerful. Our demise has been directly created by our own Greed – yet, there is certainly a way out of it.

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

 

 

 

Problem                                                                 

In my country, México, in 1994 we became part of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) with the US and Canada. I can only remember the crisis of the subsequent years experienced by people that had engaged in housing mortgages adopting an ‘upgraded lifestyle’ that became impossible to sustain, eventually losing the house, becoming sick out of the amount of stress it represented to keep paying the bills, dying and passing on the debt of a house they no longer inhabited to their children. People sought ways to make money through counterfeits and robberies that affected my family, and consequently myself existing in a constant fear of realizing that our house was suddenly not ours and that unless we pay the bank, we would have to get out of it. This intermixed with the fear of a civil war with the Insurrection of the Zapatistas wherein I experienced the fear of war for the first time in my 7 years of age, which never happened, but nonetheless it was proof to know that there was something profoundly wrong going on when my currency went from  being 1000 pesos to 1 peso and believing that the only change was a ‘simplification’ to avoid all those zeros next to it, because that’s how we were taught to adopt the new currency rate.

 

México became part  of the GATT the year I  was born in 1986, and managed to follow all the ‘right steps’  toward becoming part of the ‘great league’ of the developed economies i.e. adopting free trade  in an attempt to become more powerful by being an ally with our northern neighbor(s). These were ‘good housekeeping’ measures acknowledged by the IMF as a potential candidate for a new ‘openness’ of the Mexican market such as implementing de jure Fixed Exchange Rate, Deregulation of Privatization – which meant getting rid of the State Owned Enterprises which had created the well known ‘Mexican Miracle’ from the 1940’s – 1970’s and privatization, introducing Capital Market Integration. However, such measures imposed overnight during Carlos Salinas’ term in office were absolute speculative measures wherein the capital influx that was suddenly being invested in Mexico – due to apparently successfully living the Market Fundamentalism of liberalizing everything – lead to a growing interest on our ‘under developed economy.’ Yet, the money was obviously well spent by our ‘authorities’ and according to an apparent  ‘lack of coordination’ with the US, we had a ‘liberalization miscarriage’ that caused the eventual downfall where the weakness of national reserves were hidden from the international panorama –IMF / U.S. –  and our currency devalued –some say – 50% in December 1994. This lead to an ultimate ‘bailout’ from our impending doom offered by no one else than Mr. CapitalismUS, which was  ‘offered’ in the form of the NAFTA that meant having ‘special relationships’ with the US and Canada, liberalizing trade which is another form of Imperialism where the hegemon of the coalition dominates the ‘weaker ones,’ and so the downfall of our nation began, not that it had been ‘great’ after the 70’s either.

 

The effects of ‘Free Trade’ in this country have been devastating as in any other country in the world that suffers the same Free Market disease, we were pushed to be the Hands that provide cheap labor to those that have the capital – U.S. – this also meant sending 10% of our population to the US to make a better living when seeing the rural agriculture camps being owned by corporations, forcing them out of the place with no further reason other than having better plans for their fields. Mexicans have ended up working in jobs that were Not preferred by Americans, while facing illegal treatment that is another form of calling a dehumanization that became part of an immigrants manhunt that continues till this day, not to mention the racial discrimination that is paired with the African Americans and any other race that is not ‘purely  white’ in America. Yet the remittances on a yearly basis have been ‘great’ to our economy which is what justifies the massive social problem that immigration represents, not to mention that people truly would like to come back home, and some are now coming back upon the impending doom that the U.S. is currently facing, which will inevitably also affect ourselves.

 

The same goes for people in the fields, in rural areas owned throughout generations by ‘indigenous people’  whose crops are systematically owned by the corporations that ‘distribute’ their products while paying them nothing for the amount of work, dedication and physical strain that such work implies. It is heartbreaking to see them, indigenous people that were once self sufficient living in the tranquility of the mountains now having to be selling candies and puffed Disney toys in traffic lights, becoming maids or even worse renting themselves to panhandle on the streets. It is also schizophrenic to know that we got the Richest man in the world living here, and currently I am able to connect to the internet thanks to his telecom enterprises;  we all wanted progress and ‘be a first world country,’ but never specified under which terms and conditions.

 

We export the best quality food and products there, so what we get at a popular level is ‘second class’ type of foods, selling our natural resources like oil to be refined and turned to gas there only to be brought back to be sold at a higher price, just because we don’t have the means to do the refined process, in other words, too expensive apparently. We have great resources and people willing to work, but when wages are significantly lower than our northern neighbor, our intellectuals and educated ones,  people that could make a difference in the country, go and live abroad to have a ‘high quality lifestyle’ that is only achievable to a minority in this country.

 

We have been continually existing in a fraudulent government just as any other nation while multinationals get all forms of subsidies to make business here, which is an ever growing presence in our day to day living, becoming so used to this fast food lifestyle that any remembrance of what was the world like before McDonald’s seems like an old past that most people would not dare to go back to, because: we ‘embraced’ our progress, we liked our ‘Americanized’ way of living, and so wrought our own demise.  Our once state owned industries are now privatized, we bit the apple of seeking a superior status in our economy and the effects are half of the population existing in poverty, with massive Drug “Free Trade”, cheap labor, immigration and resources being sold to benefit our Northern neighbors. Yet, we have all complied to this ‘lifestyle’ of fast foods, images and worshipping the American Dream that is sustained by a feeble to non existent structure of psychological power embedded in a currency that remains as our exchange rate for practical trading purposes. I’ve heard a thousand and one great ideas to better our country, but our uncomfortable neighbor stands in the way of any form of sovereignty and frankly, I would not be able to trust our own government with such ‘power’ either, we have to become part of it too.

 

 

I’ve witnessed the effects from being a psychological ‘impaired’ society that is apparently incapable of ‘ever’ being equal to our Northern neighbor, we will always remain the slave labor force that ‘knows nothing’ and is easily sold for a sense of comfort and cheap quality goods that ‘make our day’ worth living for. It is a permanent ‘under development’ economy that has to sell its integrity to remain within the illusion of ‘peace and progress,’ which is also non existent due to the massive illegal gun trade as a result of our ‘War on Drugs’ to eradicate a problem that stems from having been psychologically ‘owned’ throughout over 500 centuries. The world has not changed at all, capitalism is Imperialism with the same tactics that lead Great Britain to become a Hegemon, later on leading the way to the US in our exact full circle historical resemblance of the Roman Empire and its ‘peripherals,’ but nonetheless the Empire must come to an end, and it’s already happening.

 

This is a sum up of what selling our soul to the devil in the name of success means and NAFTA was the act that consolidated this. However this can be applied to virtually any other nation that is coerced to form part of these treaties through a ‘diplomatic’ way or through the use of force i.e. wars. The latest introduction of Monsanto in our nation is just another necessary move to eradicate the traditional agriculture that has been existent for thousands of years, a certain move toward the end of any form of sovereignty left upon our most important source of food, corn. People are devastated, but we also became complacent to vote off our rights to be politically aware of how this entire crime against life took form in the shape of our progress and economic development. We are all paying the price for it and certainly, we’re not the only ones.

 

 

Solution                                                               

  • It is only through political democratic means that we can decide to create a new order in our world that is not based on hegemonic powers deciding over a nation’s economy and trade. The solutions at this stage is to understand that when we comply to ideas of happiness, success, an ‘American Dream’ that is absolutely only a ghost of the past that once was, we are complying to sell out our lives and resources for another experience of a lifestyle that is never ‘enough’ for anyone. The solution resides within each one of us becoming 1+to the political force that is yet to emerge, a decision to become active participants in the matters that rule our every day living. We have to stop being so enthralled with our personal endeavors for success in a machinery that leads to a certain death and instead give meaning and purpose to our lives through becoming the generation that stands up all around the world, to place an end to the oppressors and the oppressed, to stop looking at ‘progress’ with eyes of benevolent interventions and instead realize the psychological and physical imperialism and imposition that these treaties represent.

 

  • We are the cause these treaties have been signed, because we’ve accepted the idea of greed as a normal thing in our human psyche, it is not and the effects of our disease have been rotting the foundations of our human nature that has never in fact lived in absolute integrity with each other, nature, animals, plants in order to create a system that honors each other in an absolute Equalized conviviality and coexistence.  Do we care to know that our products are the result of slave labor? Do we care to know that the environment is being destroyed so that we can have our ‘progress’? Acknowledging these facts as true upon personal investigation is a matter of self responsibility, which I suggest taking into consideration with an open awareness of how we are the ones that have created this global crisis that no one will be able to escape from. We rather stand up and become the solution to implement an honorable way to live and create a system that values life and not an experience of ‘having more.’

 

Rewards                                                                                                     

  • The decentralization of power in the hands of a few will result in an empowerment to the people. I would like to see children being born knowing that they won’t have to work on the streets with their parents selling toys made in China to make a living, but will be able to live in a dignified comfortable home in ‘rural areas’ where education and all the necessary living services will be available,  learning the necessary skills to become an active contributor to generate a common well being that will no longer be sold to any form of ‘external buyer’ that ‘pays well’ at the cost of having no other alternative but working instead of studying.

 

  • It will be great to realize that people won’t have to leave their homes and families seeking ‘the American dream,’ but can remain at home empowering their own communities with production and trade, that will enable educating and raising their children to become equally wise with practical skills that should be remunerated equally to any other ‘executive’ in the corporate world that will still exist, but will be coexisting as an equal working force wherein we will learn how to live self forgiveness for the past – and instead support each other to leave it behind and embrace a new cooperation between individuals upon the realization that there is no need to sell our best products to an uncomfortable neighbor, and instead live of what is produced at a local level, which will improve the quality of our lives and the relationship with the environment significantly.

 

  • We will be able to  self forgive a past of colonialism and hunching down to others that we’ve perceived are ‘superior to us’ as the ever present inferiority when compared to ‘the rest of the first world’ and instead,  engage in a collective responsibility to ensure that we equalize our ability to educate ourselves to those in first world nations, because we can create the necessary conditions to create such well being if we dare to let go of delusions of grandeur for one and for all, and realize them for the spells and  dreams that they always were.  Instead, we’ll learn how to value life in Equality, the only cure to our delusional greed.

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

 
 

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Who are The Corporations?


298. Accumulating Consequence through Capital Accumulation

Continuing with:

Redefining Capitalism:

We’re going word by word in a very basic definition of Capitalism to redefine it, explore it and see what each word means and how we are able to re-direct every aspect of this collective agreement into a Best for All system.

Capitalism is an economic system that is based on private ownership of capital goods and the means of production, and the creation of goods and services for profit.[1][2] Elements central to capitalism include capital accumulation,competitive markets, and a price system.[3]

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism

 

 

capital accumulation

The accumulation of capital is the gathering or amassing of objects of value; the increase in wealth through concentration; or the creation of wealth. Capital is money or a financial asset invested for the purpose of making more money (whether in the form of profit, rent, interest, royalties, capital gain or some other kind of return.)This activity forms the basis of the economic system of capitalism, where economic activity is structured around the accumulation of capital (investment in order to realize a financial profit).

Human capital may also be seen as a form of capital: investment in one’s personal abilities, such as through education, to improve their function and therefore increase their income potential in a market economy.

 

Along with the ability to Profit comes the ability to concentrate such wealth and reproduce it, wherein the mere ownership of capital goods, means of production or capital in itself – sheer money – allows you to grow your already existent wealth, just because You Own it. This is how the Delusion of Ownership is quite the key problem here, since power will seek to expand itself and because we currently have the necessary policies to do so legally and have made it acceptable, our world that is life in itself, has been turned into a mere commodity that is diminished to a series of numbers that enable some people to have a ‘great life’ at the expense of a majority that lives like a slave, producing/working and doing that which others – the ones with all the money -will sell and benefit from, who also happen to set the rules of the game and the prices in a convenient manner.

 

I remember growing up in this country which I thought to be the most corrupt one in the world and would get pissed off at a very early age about how no one seemed to care to do things properly, to follow the rules, to be a good citizen – it all boiled down to us having corrupted governors and as such we would allow each other such corruption within ourselves, in our day to day living and believing that only if we cheat, we succeed, which is a well known saying as well.

 

We had discussed in the entry 295. Human Desire: Profitable Drive for Slavery how we have based our entire system in a series of predictable drives such as human’s desire to be fulfilled, satisfied, comforted, have a ‘good feeling’ which i s what is programmed at the tender age of 0-7 years of age and what we get, is certainly an ensured society that is reduced to a target-market by those that have the necessary means to produce a need, promote/advertise the solution/ the remedy and as such, ensure a life-long clientele that will be driven by the need to have these ‘good feeling’ experiences linked to sounds, pictures, words, symbols that affect who we are as the relationships we establish with our world and become our driving-factors without them even being aware of it at a conscious level. This is what we have accepted and allowed as mind control.

 

When we look at the accumulation of wealth it is precisely this mechanism that enables the world of the riches go round, because their wealth is made out of all the times that we didn’t distribute profit equally. Then, life is made a  ‘struggle’ and something you have to ‘fight for’ while forgetting that what we are consuming and backing our money with  is of the Earth’s resources and Human Work and no one should have a legitimate right to Own it to further a means to create More money to enslave other fellow living beings.  The solutions to stop Profiting were placed in the previous entry 296. Profit in Equal Money Capitalism. What we have to focus now is precisely tackling the delirium that we’ve created within this ability to profit, which is accumulating money/capital called wealth and made the ‘ultimate goal’ equated to the sense of happiness and fulfillment, all of it a lie, of course, because the Lie in itself has been the belief that we become ‘More’ if we generate more money and linking ‘the Kingdom of God’ to material possessions.

 

This is where the actual Self-Correction takes place. As we have explained many times, we can set the rules, the most perfect viable solution to ensure that No accumulation of wealth takes place, that no unjust and abusive profiting takes place and that all resources are distributed in an equal manner – but, if the individual does not realize the effect of a single acceptance of ‘wealth’ as a point of being able to earn more than others At their expense – which means: not sharing with them what corresponds to them as  part of their profit-share – and see what such allowance of a Desire to be More creates at a global level, we will have to go through a point of loss in order to realize how money in itself is not ‘the power’ but the resources that back it up, the people that work the land and that make the system functional – and this implies that any form of gold or any believed standard is irrelevant when economy should have always been about managing the Earth’s resources, the retribution of work to all human beings and Not creating rules and regulations to cover up/ manage and create policies that care after people’s amount of fictional wealth. 

 

This also means that people with the most money are dependent on their money and as such they are not really free and this should be grasped to understand that we have all enslaved each other no matter what type of advantage is currently perceived, because even if someone has the ability to make money out of the money that is already available to them according to their context – family/heritage, nation-  what such human beings are taught to do is to reproduce their wealth, to continue accumulating in order to remain in ‘power,’ which is the ability to make decisions and rules that will not benefit the ‘greater good’ but a small sector that act in a very cunning way, using all means that are programmable to the human mind for the majority to accept the fact that ‘there will always be someone above us’ and as such, imprinting the necessary fear to Never challenge this accumulation of wealth and the deceptive/ abusive means to generate it.

 

This taps into one single aspect that has been ingrained as part of our Consciousness: the human purpose to ‘conquer the world’ and have a meaning beyond what we already are, wanting to make Life More than what it is, all because of accepting and allowing ourselves to be defined by our material possessions and the energetic experiences that we’ve linked to that which we buy with money as something that makes us Happy and Secure and Fulfilled, just like we felt in our mother’s womb. The problem is when we’ve attempted to recreate it without really caring who one has to ‘step over’ just to get things working our way, but this way has been made a reliable program that makes the same system of inequality function in a ‘legal manner.’ It’s interesting that we seek change to come from the outside, without realizing how it’s been ourselves as individuals striving for specialness, power and wealth that re-create the system we complain about, which is in essence a collective agreement to lie, deceive and cheat to get ahead in the game, and this is ‘how things work’ without anyone complaining. This prevents any form of real growth within our human civilization, any real education because all education will be veered o maintain the same status quo and this is what is leading us to the brink of our own self-destruction, since such ‘power’ is only founded upon abuse by these flawed mechanism to accumulate Wealth without any form of integrity to ponder how we can manage to have all of this ‘well being’ for a few and allowing others to still starve, have no toilets, running water, education or health care.

 

Thus, our responsibility is Collective: we cannot blame only ‘those’ that are able to accumulate capital as a means to engross their wealth, but we have all collective agreed on such mechanisms and continue doing so without any further question. This is what We must change: not through protests, not through further compliance but developing and proposing a new way to do politics:

Equal Money Capitalism

 

to be continued…

The Solution: Equal Growth for Every One

Equal Growth -Steady Economy - Equal Money

 

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297. Why Are We Never Satisfied?

 

We have to give to each other what we have only desired for ourselves, that’s the key to heaven on earth.

 

A very cool interview released today at Eqafe  The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 26 which pretty much taps into the religious conditioning in which we might have developed our relationship to money based on morals and as such, accepting and setting the trend for wealthy= evil and poor=good/closer to God.

 

Continuing from:

For context on redefining capitalism, read: Day 180: The Word ‘Capitalism’ in ‘Equal Money Capitalism Redefined

 

 

“Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?” (James 2:5)

 

What I was able to understand from this is how words can be twisted to become an authority themselves to dictate the way we create a relationship toward each other, the world and money, which  enables people to comply, pacify and adjust to their most vehement desires to ‘be happy,’  making of material wealth a ‘fortunate lack’ for those that would be rewarded in the afterlife with experiencing a Heaven of their choice, all of this being possible if they would accept/comply to their poverty in this life and wait for the afterlife for an astounding reward, such as what that quote reveals.  It is unfortunate that there is a vast amount of people still accepting a life of misery and feeling somehow fortunate for this, when in fact it is an aberration that should be eradicated from all books, however that would mean that all knowledge and information that backs up inequality in this world would have to cease to exist, and that would mean a massive obliteration of all our LIEbraries and books and individual creeds that exist only to generate further compliances and abuses and call this ‘a living.’

 

 

Problem                                                                               

If we look at the desires we form toward this ultimate happiness, we are conditioned to always seek it from the starting point of the individual above others, we haven’t been educated to consider it as a collective shared stability wherein everyone works together and enjoys themselves as a group –  nope, happiness exists as this spoon fed individualized dream in our minds where being/becoming a millionaire = having access to everything we want to be happy, to be the king of the  world, to be proud to say one has finally made it is the most usual ‘aim’ in our lives. But, is it  real?

 

Everything begins at the level of us accepting poverty as something that is ‘okay’ to exist, it is only within the acceptance of the polarity of wealth and poverty that we have been able to justify the rich and the destitute ones as these inherent ‘random traits’  of our society as ‘how things are’, which is like a vile game since we don’t choose where we are born into and in which conditions/ financial situation we do so. We learn how to see others as more or less than ourselves and we learn to always see life as something to  in the future and never to live in the moment as what we already are, life has been termed to be something ‘else,’ something ‘more’ that we prepare ourselves for, day-dreaming and indulging in crafting our future  projections while squandering the physical moment of real-living second by second, breath by breath. 

 

Look at it: we’re constantly waiting to live our life, to find the right partner, the right job, to finally be satisfied, we’re always waiting and hoping and dreaming and in doing so, we let our lives run by just like a water tap that’s left open with no use but squandering life. We have been deluded within a sense of dissatisfaction, incompletion,  seeking for one’s ‘other half’ and seeking to get the most juice – energetic experience – out of any relationship we have, out of any words we speak, out of everything we eat, do, wear, say, hear, always stimulated to the utmost degree. It is all a mind experience that we become so hooked on, so addictive… and off we go, making our decisions based on fulfilling this ‘gut experience’ that we believe is always ‘the one’ and ‘the right decision’ and the final stance wherein we will ultimately be ‘fine’ with ourselves. But is it?

 

Letting go of a Desire is something that I reflected on today, because in this resides the key to stop our entire system that runs on feeding everyone’s dreams and desires, a ‘moreness’ system, a superiority-god-complex system that we’ve run for far-too-long causing a social indigestion wherein we can barely stand each other’s guts, wherein we’ve feared, competed, cheated, lied and abused each other to get the most of a cake that we never baked, but simply lust on.

 

So, how about learning to co-exist? This is not some pipe dream, it is a basic organic rule of conviviality and homeostasis, coexistence without it being more of a cliché nowadays. By all means this begins with ourselves by looking at simple points like: what is the Desire that is preventing me from standing fully within my process? This is an excellent explanation that truly makes you sit for a moment and ponder beyond what we’ve currently considered is ‘in our hands’ when it comes to changing this world:

Put A Guard in Front of your Mind – Reptilians – Part 151

 

I have once again realized to what extent the externalization of our minds as our world system has become our own scaffold without us even realizing who lined up in the queue by our own will in the first place,  how did we get ourselves to  this condition? Well, by seeking to always have our hidden agendas, secret desires, that ‘thing’ or someone that drives us to continue, and in this, the drive is separate from self, therefore it is an energetic drive, and energy  is precisely what we have to stop being driven by in order to realize that we are able to live as a physical living force if we put back all our pieces together, and such pieces are every thought, every emotion, every feeling, every experience that we have about ourselves and the world that we’ve turned into a product we strive to buy to cover our basic needs.  We’ve turned our basic requirements into satisfactions that rub our mind more than supporting our physical, and in this, greed is fueled, because there is no physical consideration of what is Enough, until it becomes too late and we deplete everything, that would be our ‘cap’  and final end if we don’t stop and change our behavior toward life.

Is it then that we are controlled by that which we defend with all our might: our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions and feelings, our faith and our dreams?  Yes, hence the perfect trap because everyone believes it’s free will and free choice – really? Who taught you how to read, how to speak, how to pray and how to act in public? Was it you alone?  By answering this we have to realize to what extent we have been conditioned to think, act, do, speak in a way that we believe is who we are and ‘who we want to be.’ This is the basis of our current economic system and the basis for self change of course:I tis to Redefine our lives based on a living principle in Equality. No more individual pursuit of happiness based on money and sex and drugs and fun, that is just the usual slave’s dream to keep living like a rat in a cage in the hope of someday getting out of it.

 

Solutions                                                                           

The vile act can be redeemed beginning with our own evaluation of what we ‘seek’ within this life: is it a greater good where everyone’s well being is considered or is it your own desires to be fulfilled that were generated in your own mind by that which we watched on TV, read on a book, heard from another’s living experience only? Are our desires real when we are born into a world where every single word is taught in order to generate an experience about it?

Our Freedom is one breath away, always, stopping our desires in one breath, investigating it through writing, applying self forgiveness for accepting and allowing ourselves to be consumed by what we believe is that which we Desire, writing our corrective application to re-direct ourselves every time the Desire entity comes up as a ‘thief in the night’ and walk the necessary correction as an inner strength for us to establish who we are, making a clear decision what we stand for/what we are in one moment : Life or the Illusion we’ve learned to Buy and Strive for?

Choosing is not a choice here, it is a living realization, an understanding. Take this with yourself and see if what we so desire is in fact ourselves or acquired deliriums that make us ‘run around the wheel’ day by day, not realizing that we can stop, step out of the wheel,  take the carrot from the stick, and do the same for everyone else, that’s our freedom.

Wealth is then the ability to equalize ourselves as life and as such, grant each other access through implementing the Equal Money proposal wherein capitalism is no longer our own cage we’ve sought to escape from, but we learn to forge the tools to remove the limitations that we built in a state of absolute delirium and hypnosis.

 

Rewards                                                                             

The long awaited freedom to live, express, share, be genuinely happy and enjoying a world where we can all be aware that no one is abusing one another to be ‘more,’ but learn how to exist as a perfect participant of an Equal Society where life is regarded to all in equality. That’s our aim and our responsibility, not a dream, and that equal and one regard is what we’ve always missed, and in that our real satisfaction resides.

 

“Astoundingly enough, the Fact that there is a Natural Learning Ability with Each Child has not been Explored At All. In Fact,  it seems like This Very Point is used by the Haves to Impress Upon the Have-Nots, what they are Never Going to Have so that the Body can Learn to Accept its Condition and Eventually when the Consciousness Energetic Body Develops the Body will be Able to Supply the Thoughts, Feelings and Memories that will Convince the Person that their Condition is Acceptable because it ‘Feels Good’. This ‘Good Feeling’ though comes from the Time when the Body was in its Natural Learning Ability Phase- its Quantum Learning Phase – the Phase between Conception (as yes its Learning Starts at the Moment of Conception) and the Age of 7 (Seven).” – Bernard Poolman, Day 294: Natural Learning Ability of the Feral Child

 

 

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276. Why Do We LOVE FREE Stuff?

Both words Love and Free entail the utmost fallacy and life-abuse, yes, keep reading and you’ll understand why.

 

“Social change organization have been marginalized by the idea that support must be FREE as they give support FREE–but in fact it is subsidized by corporations to be able to provide FREE stuff –This addiction to FREE STUFF is ensuring that the 99% cannot stand up and fund change –Every one is trapped in self interest where FREE STUFF determine decisions — Some common sense that a group must be funded should be realized if change is ever to become a global solution –as long as value is equal to FREE STUFF, the brainwashing trap all in the prison of Money Bottom of Form” – Bernard Poolman

 

This is an Eye-Opening statement that we usually obviously have mostly ignored wherein we have become so used to falling for all the ‘free stuff’ and believe that there are actual ‘free’ things in life. We obviously ignore that there is no-thing in this world that can be carried out without having a point of consumption/extraction/ work/ actions/ time that leads to a certain consequence. This is how whenever people say ‘Hey, watch Zeitgeist!’ and point out their solution being ‘burning all the money/ eradicating the money system’ is a clear indication that brainwashing has been quite deep to understand the implications of what it means to pay for something as a process of acknowledging/ understanding of the resources, processes and labor that took place to create such ‘thing’ that then becomes ‘free’. Sure, the Earth don’t charge us Money for what is grown here, however the ecosystems run through natural processes wherein certainly a lot of life and death processes take place, which obviously imply consumption, relationships, deterioration of the environment which is now carrying all the effects of all these activities lived-out by the inhabitants – the effects of this is demonstrating what happens when we  break the natural cycles of this physical reality in order to establish quantum time mind-desires on a space-time reality where things take Time and actual Work to develop. This is the consequence of implementing our mind-reality upon physical reality: absolute destruction and a constant unstopping depletion of life on Earth, within this, removing Money from the equation can only lead to further unawareness of the actual forces that have made of our current system seemingly sustainable, which is human labor along with the resources that are certainly ‘not for free’ as we’ve explained just now.

 

The way we have been educated is to believe in ‘Freedom’ and as such this libertinage leads to the idea/belief of ‘Free Stuff’ that is a perfect and suitable concept for a capitalist system that promised freedom through consumption – you can watch the Century of Self for self-education purposes and understand the role of Public Relations as the actual cogwheels that use the mind-ingrained patterns to create a sense of ‘independence’ and ‘empowerment’ through buying/ consuming from where this whole idea of Freedom comes from in order to in fact Sell More/ Consume more – did it work? Just look around yourself and this entire world, of course it did which is only possible due to us having been ignorant of the actual forces at work within/as our own mind.

 

If wee look at the tactics to create junkies/ drug addicts, the dealer first gives a ‘free sample’ to the person as a bait in order to expand the clientele, since there is quite a high percentage of certainty that the person will come back for more, this time obviously there won’t be any ‘free stuff’ to take. I place this example to make more obvious the implications of how we believe that receiving free stuff is ‘cool’ without measuring the actual agenda behind such belief and ignoring the fact that nothing is ever really benevolent and ‘free’ and as such, it should never be valued as something ‘truly positive’ in our consumerist society since no-product/ no-thing that is given ‘for free’ is devoid of being an actual product of physical and logistic processes that involve a production process in order to get to be something that can be ‘given for free.’ This should already make it clear that ‘free stuff’ is a delusion.

 

When we look at sales and how we believe that things are in fact ‘cheaper’ or ‘on sale,’  we in fact ignore that the retail prices of things are usually hundreds of times more than the actual cost of production – which is usually done and paid as ‘slave labor/ cheap pay’ and as such, the owner deciding to earn a ‘little less’ to sell more through placing things “on sale” is just another tactic to in fact get rid of all the merchandise to get all the new stuff in store and continue selling at ‘normal prices’ just because it is ‘new stuff’ and ‘no longer on sale’ – Great Lies. Again: there is no ‘real benevolence’ or positivity in ‘free stuff’ if you actually look at what makes it possible for you to even become aware of such ‘free stuff.’

 

Now, in terms of us at Desteni being a a group that was funded by people that understand the implications of being Equal in all ways within this world and process toward change that implies being Equal to the System that we all live in, it is obvious that we are not exempt of using money to survive and continue expanding just like any other person/business that requires money to live. We understand how the system works and this is why we are providing Education such as the Desteni I Process and educational material at Eqafe in order to continue expanding the already 6 years of providing unconditional support to any being within the internet at the Desteni Forum, through all our blogs/vlogs in our Journey To Life and the free courses like the Desteni Lite Process. All of these process imply the dedication of a full time job- certainly implying More time than your regular 9-5 job, a lot of preparation and financial stability in order to be well fed, well educated and having the available time to support more beings, because we understand that the Key to Self Change is through Education, and that’s what we currently provide as well as the solution for a global change that we are currently busy implementing as the Equal Money Capitalism proposal. All of this implies having just what any other human being on this current world system has in order to Live Well: the necessary income to have the available time to provide such services is not given just by ‘spreading self support’ and just consuming air to breathe – that’s obviously Not how it works.

 

If we look at a ‘spiritual teacher’ and an example is here,you’ll hear how it’s fairly easy to link a positive message to self-promotion for meditation and all other forms of psychic abilities, intuition and ‘connecting with your angels,’ which we all know is all bullshit and using blatant tactics to sell some made-up services that people pay for within a self-enlightened interest mode. This seen as ‘okay’ because ‘it’s stuff that you want to hear’ and as such is considered positive, the same way we believe candies are positive and fun and believe this is so until kids turn hyperactive and show early cavities in their teeth, along with elevated levels of sugar – is that real fun and treats for our children?

I mean, if we wanted to make easy money by telling lies and speaking what people Like and Want to hear, we could be making great money – but, since we are speaking the reality of this world and providing tools for self support that imply no miracles and magical acts, people then are turned off because we all want this quick fix, easy-doings type of solutions wherein all that is realized is how we have become so used to our drive-through lifestyle wherein we literally just want to drive-through, ask for our order, get what we want in a few minutes and pay a few bucks for a process that does not involve only the ‘final product’ that you consume, but all the forces at work in order to make it possible for it to exist and as all ‘fast food’ and McDonald’s solutions, this implies animal abuse, labor abuse, exploitation, unhealthy foods that cause illnesses and diseases as well as certain sugar addictions that are not that ‘hard to quit’ once people believe it’s better to ‘buy McDonald’s than cooking fresh food at home.’ This here is the definition of  self-accepted slavery, isn’t it? This only an example that can be extended to virtually any other job in the world that we all depend on.

 

So, we want to create change but we want to give no money to fund it? How does that work? It’s plain to see that virtually everything we benefit from implies a process where money is involved, everything we wear, eat, use on a daily basis is money, the houses, the cars, the so called ‘free areas’ implied money to pay for the labor to build them, education, even growing food is currently not a ‘free act’ either since you have to Buy the seeds and the necessary nutriments to fertilize the Earth, pay for the water to water your crops, etc. We haven’t educated ourselves to understand the processes and actual work-force and resources-used to generate a sustainable system. Yet, we only learn to complain whenever something goes up in prices and are always waiting for ‘luvin’ the free stuff, the sales, the bargains and make ‘great deals’ with that. Right.

 

I am realizing to what extent I had been brainwashed with regards to money, how within certain contexts we make it ‘okay’ to pay for things and for others we believe that we should ‘have it for free,’ because we tend to look at the ‘final product’ and disregard all the amount of mouths fed, all the resources used, the time and education that a person requires in order to create a certain piece of product/ service that is provided. What’s more fascinating is how we even believe that organizations that are determined to Change the system should charge No money at all –how is such thing possible considering that money is the one thing that has enabled us to be in the current position of being educated beings around the world that are committed to fund for a change in this reality – otherwise we would be as voice-less as the 2+ billions of people that we are in fact standing up for, to create and establish a world system that In fact creates a correction from the very root of the flawed structure that we have all accepted ‘as is’ to finally benefit Them as well, the voiceless, the uneducated.

 

What’s more interesting and absolutely fascinating is that all the Education and material at Desteni and Eqafe explain precisely the keys that enable you to understand how change must take place, why we have to be In the system to create a change, where is the ‘problem’ stemming from and how to walk the correction beginning at an individual level. There is No other group in the world that provides the explanations from the very beginning of human civilization and even before time was created in order to understand how and why we are here in this current ‘mess’ we’ve all learned to complain about but never realize our self responsibility toward it,  how and why we have gotten ourselves to this current process of crisis and how Change must be funded with the very same money that we have used to abuse and enfilade beings to win the ‘war of life’ and abuse everyone else on the way.

 

So, the same way we have spoken of freedom being a fallacy and a concept word that sounds as good as ‘love,’ we expose the same with regards to ‘Free Stuff’ that constitute a fallacy in fact since there will always be mouths to feed, resources to consume and work-force-time directed to create such ‘free stuff.’ We can instead ask ourselves what type of enslavement are we accepting and allowing when expecting things to ‘be free’ instead of actually working to implement a system wherein actual freedom will be the ultimate law of equilibrium: equal rights = equal responsibilities and as such one can see that there are always actions and reactions, there is a force and consequence, there is an intention that creates an effect, there is an ability and a duty in equal-manner. That’s the basic giving and receiving consideration that must be understood in our society, to finally stop being brainwashed to think ‘there are free things’ and this ties in with the saying we have at Desteni ‘None is Free until All is Free’ and this is actually implying being free from the Money-Consciousness that we have all participating in wherein we have forgotten who we are as one and equal and the giving and receiving in equality this implies – instead, we have reduced everything to numeric values that we then believe are ‘more’ or ‘less’ than, which is precisely the system that we must transcend through understanding how we created money, why and how we have to use money in order to correct the deliberately abusive relationships we’ve funded with it. Just like anything else: if money became the problem = money becomes the solution.

Real Freedom can only exist when understanding how reality works and as such become an equal force to support to change how the current system that enable abuse operates, because this is our creation: we face it as the gods we have believed ourselves to be.

This is fairly simple: you contribute with paying for your self support and as such you are contributing to continue growing and expanding such support for others, this is the only way that we can ensure that people Hear the Solutions to Equalize Life for All living beings, wherein the same money that we have enslaved ourselves-to becomes our own actual key to freedom, a real one at last and only then can we dare to speak about real love and care for all as Equals.

 

For further information, visit:

www.equalmoney.org

To support Desteni while educating yourself about who we are, how the world works, how to support ourselves to learn how to live and invest for material that will last you for a lifetime: www.eqafe.com

 

 

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To understand the level of abuse LOVE implies, please Educate yourself with:

 

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And to Educate yourself about Money Consciousness, please invest on Self Education with  The Soul of Money series

239. Preventing Failures in Life

 

I Know I can do it – a full potential that can only exist in our minds  if it’s not lived as the totality of who we are here in one single moment that it can be placed into physical/ practical living application- otherwise we then simply become great parrots.

 

Through reading Heaven’s Journey To Life, I realized that this ‘I Know’ is no different to hope and having ‘faith’ in oneself which is a synonym of inaction and further waiting for something/ somehow being able to direct ourselves in the future, and in the meantime the ‘I Know’ remains as a point of security – as mentioned in the previous blogs, a false-confidence that serves no purpose other than holding a thoughtful-assertiveness without any physical results that prove it to be so in fact.

 

Continuing from:

230. Opposing My Roots

 

So, I’ve been debunking this self-belief of intelligence as just that: an accepted and allowed tag as ‘who I am’ that is no different to any other category we tend to reduce ourselves to. Therefore within this self-belief it is no different to holding the idea of a god in our minds having some form of power over others – same when I say ‘I Know I can Do it’ but not do it.

 

Memory within the ‘I Know I Can’ Character – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

 

Event/ Memory: Being worried, stressed out, anxious about an exam when I was either in 2nd or 3rd grade primary school and my mother saw me all worried about it and told me ‘You Know You Can, others that really can’t should worry, but not you’  within this creating a sense of security within the acknowledging of another that ‘I can’ because I simply didn’t trust myself – and from this moment on, I would hear the same words in my mind the moment I would go into any form of stress about exams or any other academic point wherein my ‘performance’ was going to be measured. Within this, it became like a ‘magical motto’ that I would use to gain confidence but never really dissected what was it that was implied within this single ‘You know you can’ statement that became my ‘I Know I Can.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to base a security of who I am according to Knowing what I am capable of based on previous results and experiences of getting a high-grade with certain ease wherein I would realize that stressing out was not required since I would always excel, which became a conceited way of existing as a knowledgeable character wherein I became of this knowledge-ego as myself as this certainty that became a self belief, creating a consequence of me really not being self-honest with myself because I stopped giving ‘it all’ that I could based on comparing myself to Others that would be in a much ‘lesser position’ and accordingly, measure my abilities/ capabilities as always remaining ‘on top’ but only through ranking systems wherein I stopped pushing myself further to actually develop skills or improve myself, but create a form of mediocrity wherein all that mattered is that I ‘knew’ how to do it,and would do it but that was it, there was no longer any push or drive because in my eyes and at the eyes of others, I was apparently already ‘good enough’ or ‘intelligent’ so

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a self belief of ‘knowing’ which eventually became only a fluffy ego self-belief without any form of actual work, substance behind it, becoming this façade as personality that people would identify myself with, without me precisely working on actually being/ becoming a ‘better person’ according to my standards then, but just keep myself ‘on top’ to remain within that position at the eyes of others, but knowing within myself that I wasn’t really ‘giving my all’ and developing further skills and abilities, it only became an ego-driven effort to ‘keep my spot’ but not actually do it for myself for the purpose of actually expanding and learning more about myself,  within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become apathetic when it came to all things school, because within this ego of ‘I know it all’ everything became too repetitive within my mind, too useless, too dull and boring because of me believing that I was ‘at the top’ and there was nothing else to aspire to within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own predictability of becoming someone ‘great’ within the world system just like all the other kids with ‘great grades’ such as what I had back then, and because of deeming this ‘excelling’ within the system as something that I had to do but also resisted/ feared, I ended up opting for an ‘unexpected choice’ in life wherein I did all I could to dedicate myself to studies that had nothing to do with ‘being intelligent’ apparently, only spiting my own character and ending up trapped in my own web  – so to speak  – because of this choice being made out of spite and ended up spiting myself and getting caught in my own regret as another for of stagnation – which is unacceptable, because I was indeed the one that made the decisions and in no way are such decisions being considering what’s best for all, but only spite the entirety of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had ‘nothing else to do’ or nothing else to be or become because I had it ‘too easy’ and as such, would get the same experience in any school or career because the problem was not the school or what I chose to study but my starting point and self experience within it and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the careers I chose, the people I chose to be with, the likes and preferences I developed and essentially the totality of my choices in life as something that ‘didn’t work,’ without realizing that all of that was simply according to who I accepted and allowed myself to be as this knowing-character with no practical living considerations of what would actually be self supportive in self honesty, because I am well aware that I only sought my ‘highest excitement’ within my choices in life – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make my choices in life as to what to study, who to establish relationships with, what to be ‘inclined’ to learn more about, the ‘type of personality’ that I became was all driven by/ through energy as the mind that sought a point of excitement within what I perceived as a dull life experience, within this not realizing that I deliberately sought to create a form of inner conflict to ‘make my life more entertaining’ as in having something to be sad about/ be regretful and essentially trapped in my own mind bubble of regrets, without realizing that no matter which choices I would have made, I was going to end up in the same position because there was no principle established in order to live in self honesty and within the consideration of self support, because that didn’t exist in my frame of reference back then. Thus,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and blame others in my past and all the influences that I had throughout my life for having made the choices and decisions that I made, without realizing that it was only me that participated fully and fool-y within/ as them, playing the character for myself and others while holding a high expectation that was only sustained as a self-belief – not real as an actual physical movement of which one could only get the basics that would allow me to keep such position in place, but within me I Know that I didn’t quite give it ‘all’ myself as an actual self-movement, which ensued apathy and dullness within myself toward anything having to do with being ‘creative’ or ‘good’ at something, not realizing that these energetic experiences were the consequential opposite outflow of first having chosen my career and studies based on an energetic high where no 1+1 was considered and I am fully responsible for that, and well aware of it, wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make decision in life based on energetic experiences of wanting to seek my ‘feel good’ point as a certain character/ personality that ‘I knew’ I could fulfill, without ever actually taking this decision and projecting it to see what are the practical points that I can employ myself in and being realistic about it according to how the world system works, which shows/ reveals that I wasn’t in my 5 senses when I made the decision, but was existing as this ‘fluffy’ type of self-belief of me ‘Knowing that I can make it’ as this self-faith and self-belief of being ‘capable of doing anything I can’ but never really testing out and walking the practical physical considerations of what I would be able to work in and do within these careers and actually Do it as an informed decision – but, I didn’t hence the consequences.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my mother’s words in a similar vein to the ‘you know you an do it,’ type of self-belief and hearing ‘you are going to be great no matter what you do,’ and in this believe that I could in fact excel and be the best ‘no matter what I do’ which is what positive thinking and talk lead to: creating a self-hope and self-faith of being potentially able to be the best wherever and whatever we do and become – which is not a ‘bad’ thing in itself, but how I lived those words as a form of false-certainty with no practical application.

I realize that within these words that became backchat, I became only a character that could live-out these self definitions within the law of the least effort wherein my results were compared toward others and within this, living up to simply ‘maintaining’ the character but not really being here as myself being self-directive in everything that I do, which is what we tie ourselves to within this world system: remaining as that specific character For others and neglecting an actual self-development to our fullest potential, which is not even encouraged within our current education system either no matter how many ranks and studies one may have, it is still within the confinement of a selective-preparation that one can do wherein the actual beingness of the person is  – most of the times – not regarded, but only accumulating further knowledge and information as a form of ‘betterment’ that has never been based on actually supporting a human being to become a Living being in the consideration of equality as life or any other living principle that we can live by for the betterment of all – in essence, a blatant self-belief with no actual practical application.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to elevate myself to my own expectations of being ‘good’ at whatever I decide to do, and take these words as an actual ‘positive statement,’ without realizing that if I would not in fact investigate in a practical physical matter what I would want to do, it would only became just another energetic-driven experience with no self awareness of the practical use of my decisions in life for an actual betterment of life.  Within this

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ranking system in the school system more creates a sense of specialness/ uniqueness toward those with ‘high grades’ without really providing with an actual education and support toward actually being/ becoming something and someone that provides with an actual insight of the necessary points to change/ implement within this society for a common betterment, because none of this has been propagated or taught in schools, which then places into question the entire schooling system in itself, wherein if what’s best for all is not placed as the common-goal within any field of studies, then: what are we actually supporting as ‘education’? Who are we becoming within this education system within such terms and conditions of not really aiming at doing what’s best for all? Is then a so-called intelligent person within this system that is not aiming at supporting life in equality an actual honorable definition of what Intelligence should be in this world’? No, it only becomes a synonym of being well trained to not ask questions, seek your permanent status within such ‘higher ranks’ in society, get well paid about it, become an example for others to follow which is what enables the system to be perpetrated generation after generation, no one questioning what these ‘higher ranks’ in society are actually based and founded upon.

 

Within this all, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live out as an ego that believes can excel in ‘everything I decide to do,’ wherein it mostly became a sense of ingrained superiority against others as the primary self experience of ‘knowing better/ knowing more’ and creating this security based on what others believe me to be – only to then find myself obviously dismantling the entire self belief and realizing that if we look at what I actually did is nothing but just surfing on the ranks to maintain a mediocre superiority status for the sake of ‘keeping my spot’ as being intelligent/ responsible person, but the Who I was within such results was not really here as a self-directive being, actually doing it fully and whole heartedly, because I actually within this ‘having faith’ within myself, eventually ‘lost faith’ within myself and everything/ everyone, which became this constant apathetic self experience toward the world as the usual cycles of ‘what’s the use in this,’ without realizing that this is the ‘nitty gritty’ point that I often hit as a continuous cycle once that ‘I know how it will all end anyways’ wherein I actually become the predicament of my own thinking processes, wherein we trap ourselves within our own loops of ‘knowing how it all ends’ and blindly driving ourselves to repeat the same experiences over and over again with no change – why? Because who I am within what I do is not fully self-honest as the realization that I had never in fact lived and that all I pretended to ‘know’ and be able to project an outcome of was only a way to ‘give up’ on myself before even starting, give up on any actual self-motivation because of seeing the world as just ‘too fucked’ to have any change be possible –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold on to a belief deep inside that there is no way we can change humanity, which is the ingrained ‘doomsday’ type of self-experience that I became wherein I mostly lived up to others’ expectations but not really placing all my beingness and effort and self-direction toward an actual living, doing all that I can to in fact develop myself further in a certain area or activity, just because of still holding on to this self-doom shadow as a constant presence of ‘nothing that you do will work, will make a difference’ which translates into an ingrained dullness and apathy within myself, giving up before even trying and just keeping a certain ‘standard’ but not really physically directing myself to for the first time motivate myself to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop challenging myself in life just because of believing that I have gotten to the ‘peak’ too fast and there was nothing else to ‘attain’ and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate life to an ‘attainment’ of sorts, believing that being alive was a synonym of getting ‘high’ in any form of rank of what ‘success’ is now measured within this world and reality, and within that realizing success for what it is, spiting it/ doing all I could to not become that, but only within an energetic-spite that then became as a hopelessness and uselessness wherein it did not matter how much I ‘knew’ it was ‘useless’ because it was never being placed within the consideration of what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of taking responsibility for our creation as this world system, create an experience about it, which is like complaining about our own fuckup as a form of victimization to not actually take self responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself creating an Experience about our current world condition based on ‘what I Know,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am only focusing on my own self experience and use it as an excuse to not move, instead of simply moving, doing and directing myself to face the consequences of which I am absolutely self responsible for in an equal manner, consider what’s best for all and direct myself as it, physically – not thinking about it.

 

I realize that the perceived ‘apathy toward living’ is only an elitist self-experience that we are able to embody because we are secluded in this minute bubble of self-experience where the reality and the actual suffering in this world that is existent within everyone that have no access to money is simply disregarded, no considered – which proves how this apathy, hopelessness, helplessness and uselessness is only an egotistical experience wherein we are only looking at ‘how we FEEL about life/ our reality’ and create this entire self experience accordingly, instead of actually looking at the world physically, understand the flaws, understand how Nothing has worked in the past as a point of change and see where we have missed ourselves as living beings within it all.

 

I see, realize and understand that within this ‘knowing’ point, we diminish ourselves to our own self-beliefs as limitations that are and have never been based upon an actual consideration of Life, because Life is not a knowing but a living.

 

Within this, it is to currently realize that we have to walk the transition point from knowledge and information and all the characters we’ve become around this self-belief system of fake values, and individually walk our own self correction to establish a self-honest starting point within Anything that we are currently doing – because I realize that no matter what choices I would have made in life, I would have lead myself to the same ‘uselessness’ experience where nothing seems  to work, nothing seems to make a difference because nothing of what is currently existing in this world is Meant to/ designed to/ created to make an actual difference in this world. Therefore

 

I commit myself to Live the realization that no matter where I am, what I do and the choices I make, nothing of what currently exists as the past and the old system that we are still living in is designed to ‘work’ and ‘function’ and be suitable for an actual birthing of life – because this IS precisely our task, our duty, our point of responsibility and within this

 

When and as I see myself ever again getting to the point of ‘oh but nothing I do will change anything within the world/ others’ without realizing that it is so, nothing will change and nothing will move if our starting point remains within the same old ‘starting point’ of this entire world system as it exist today, wherein nothing is veered toward an actual functional best for all outcome. Thus I realize that that is our work, that is our duty, that is our self responsibility that will not emerge ‘by magic’ but has to actually be conducted within self awareness of the required changes in the system in order to then be able to align ourselves to that which will create  a substantial point of support for ourselves and others in this world.

 

I realize that there will be no quick fixes or results either, as such ‘quick results/ fixes’ exist only as a mind-interpretation of reality wherein no actual physical processes have been considered, nor any form of actual relationship that exists within ourselves toward each other and all the other living species, which then places into question how we have in fact never lived, because we have only ever equated ourselves to fulfill the same old standards within a system that has never really in fact functioned to support life.

 

Thus I commit myself to live the understanding and realization that a Knowing can only stand within the past of everything that we have been and become, and that nothing of this has ever in fact been living-conditions for each other – and that the motivation to then actually live won’t come as a Knowing of anything that we’ve been in the past, but must be walked s a practical living daily application of letting go of everything that we Believe we know and instead, walk ourselves through a process of re-directing ourselves to consider physical reality outcomes and current systematic transitions wherein yes, we are in this world, we have to still present a knowledgeable act but! who we are within ourselves is an awareness of this being a single ‘transition period’ that we have to walk through, facing our failures and manifested consequences and within doing so, concomitantly paving the way for a new ay of living and existing, as I see and realize that the process of birthing ourselves as life won’t have any ‘precedents’ within this system, it is an absolute self movement within the realization that it isn’t preprogrammed, it won’t come ‘easy’ or it won’t be defined according to ‘who I have been’ in my past. It is entirely subject to my own self movement here in every moment of breath.

 

Thus, from the past we can take what is useful and what can be molded/ shaped or corrected in its starting point to be able to function within the Equality System as the Equal Money System, wherein people won’t be regarded as ‘more’ for knowing what everyone will be equally capable of living/ doing – but instead, we will focus on supporting ourselves to develop practical skills that are readily useful to sustain ourselves in this world system as equals – no more hierarchical ranks in schooling systems of any kind.

 

I commit myself to stop existing in this self-hope of ‘I know I can’ but instead stop the past within myself by realizing that I don’t require to have this self-positive-talk as assertiveness, but simply direct myself to do it, within the consideration of having to walk through the past in order to correct it here as myself.

 

I commit myself to stop regretting the choices I’ve made in life and believing that they lead me to failure, without realizing that all in this world is currently failing and that the only way that we can stand up for ourselves is walking through this failure, facing the consequences and concomitantly living the solution within our living application of doing, being, proposing what is Best for All.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that we have to walk through the past, give it an actual ‘good riddance’ as a self-corrective process to face what we have become, what we left behind and everything we ‘Know’ but didn’t act upon and instead, give ourselves a start from scratch in order to actually build/ create what we are willing to stand equal and one to as our self-awareness creation, to no longer have to create a ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ experience about ourselves and ‘who we are’ within this world, but instead simply focus on aligning ourselves to be and become equal contributors to a best for all outcome in this physical reality – no more and no less, using the knowledge and information that can provide us with actual insights and data that we can consider in order to establish a world system based in Equality, the same process that we can apply for ourselves to not maximize our capabilities only at a thought level, but rather physically supporting ourselves and each other to ground such potentials toward an actual doing that ensues a result that benefits the whole in equality.

 

To be continued…

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The following illustration depicts this point, it is only going back to the ground wherein we can rebirth ourselves from scratch. It is then quite obvious how we could not be able to make ourselves ‘succeed’ from the starting point of everything we have believed ourselves to be. This is our equal point of starting from scratch, and this is how no one can possibly be ‘more’ than others  or ‘more advanced’ as nothing in this world can possibly provide such advancement without the illusion of progress being tainted by self-abuse.

Time to live in common sense and realize that every breath is our equal-starting point as physical beings that can direct ourselves to live the words we write/ speak in common sense – this will prevent any form of perceived ‘failure’ in this world system, as we have all in fact already failed to live as equals – hence, the willingness to walk this self-corrective process: there is no way out of this, we have to face our creation.

 

Good riddance to any form of laureate past since everything we have done and become in this world has been based and founded upon abuse, there is no way to keep any form of honor within what we’ve become as that would be ego and self separation.

 

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190. Author of my Consequences

Procrastination: Consequences – Do not ask for something / be exigent about something that I have not lived and given to myself unconditionally.

I realize that I have been playing out this point in relation to procrastination and a general desire for things to be just ‘perfect’ and running smoothly all the time so that ‘I’ can feel good about it/ have no worries and generally best for all, which would be common sensical if I was in fact living that out absolutely as myself. The question is: am I? And in absolute Self Honesty I can say: nope.

 

Now, this reminds me of parents, how they want their kids to be this beautiful (hellish) creations, asking them and being exigent about things that they haven’t lived themselves/ they haven’t probably ever lived BUT want their children to play out to become like a trophy that they can feel proud of – but, have they been a living example of everything they’re asking to their children? No. And I see I am doing the same with others, asking them to essentially have everything done ‘as I see it must be done’ however, am I actually in fact able to stand as an absolute authority of myself in this moment – not completely, this single point of procrastination that I’ve walked – that I’ve accepted and allowed – has affected in my ability to stand absolute to my words, since one single point that is not in alignment to the totality of what I’m walking certainly creates ‘ripple effects’ on everything else – and this is part of the consequences, wherein I see and realize that one single point that I deliberately allow to grow and not direct creates this suppressed anxiety, hiding it with further points to ‘take care of’ within me, but not necessarily having directed me to take this point on, which is ludicrous since it is one of the basic aspects to walk in this process: work with what is occupying your mind in order to give it direction. And this, well it did occupy my mind but would immediately cover up and sugar coat with something else.

 

The reason for doing that is simple: my image/ reputation could not be obfuscated with me having to expose a major point of procrastination – however, was that actually in order to ‘save my ego’ and image/ reputation toward others or was it in the end just a very unnecessary timeloop that I –alone- would have to face eventually and give it direction? Well, the second point is what really IS in fact and how every time that we place ‘others’ or the ‘who we are’ at the eyes of others in front of our application is dishonest, and that walking this process such dishonesties must get to the surface to face them for what they are, get some oxygen in order to ventilate it – lol – and then see that all the accumulated energy that created the patterns of suppressed anxiety and guilt and remorse are simply further add-ons to the procrastination character that become like this consuming monster that we feed everyday that we only Think about things we have to do but don’t do them.

 

A physical consequence is yes, pain in the back as a burden as well as having to deal with physical real-time events wherein I have to now arrange my schedule to get to all points necessary.

 

In the end I can only take my own words and say it to myself: In the end, you do it to yourself – and within this it is to see that the law of stupidity/ stupidity loops can only be stopped by me practically stopping them, correcting the pattern and that’s it.

 

So, here I walk the Self Forgiveness on Abdicating my Authority the moment I participate in the Procrastination Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility that I have toward myself, my words and deeds as the congruency that I have intended to live and that I accepted and allowed to be half-assed/ done in a middle term because of my desire to only do that which I prefer doing/ that which I have valued as ‘more important in my life,’ without realizing that in this I am placing a value-system to the points I have committed myself to do and apply, which is not acceptable since I see that this is not a matter of preference or what is ‘more important’ to do when comparing one task to another – it is simply realizing what must be done and within that, give myself the necessary authority to say no to following my desire to only do that which I like and instead, assist and support me to develop a physical habit of doing things without an energetic input to them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to exert authority over others without realizing that it is as such an abusive point when I am doing it from the vantage point of not having lived authority as myself fully and completely – within this it is to realize that I can only be an authority as self when all that I do, think and act upon is standing 100% aligned to that which is best for all, wherein I understand that the moment there is self-interest in the way, we can realize there is an aspect that is not in consonance with an equality-living statement where self-responsible and self-directive individuals work together to establish a world that functions upon principles and not rewards or experiences as the negative or positive upon what is required to be done.

I realize that the point of responsibility extends not only toward myself, but to myself as this entire reality that I am an equal part of, wherein the moment I accept and allow myself to not be my own authority but allow myself to be deviated through the mind’s ‘authority’ I become that ‘plus point’ that continues accepting, allowing and living out the same mistakes of the past, which includes procrastination and apathy toward ourselves and this world as a whole.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own lack of authority toward others and within this, become exigent toward others about something that I have not lived myself fully and completely.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own ability to be directive at all times due to allowing this procrastination point to diminish everything to a doubtful self-experience, wherein while not being a full-self responsible author of ourselves in our reality, we become ‘less than’ our minds due to having followed our thoughts instead of living self-direction and within this even exacerbate it through time until it gets to a  point where it is no longer sustainable – yet the consequences as time lost/ time spent without giving direction to something is real and here to be faced as a reminder of what are the practical consequences of us abdicating our physical living authority over the mind’s desires, wants and needs that lead me nowhere, but further procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of self doubt – not trusting myself fully – do to losing my own authority over one single aspect that I made it ‘more’ than what it is, consuming me to the point of seeing it as very difficult to walk through, without realizing that in all of this process I only imagined/ thought/ assumed without actually working on it, which reveals to what extent we become a character and utilize actual physical energy and time in order to perpetuate a single limitation in our minds, which reveals to what extent we have become so used to self-abuse.

 

When and as I see myself missing out on my point of authority as who I am in every moment of breath that I am here and directing myself to do what is required to be done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that self trust and my ability to stand in my two feet immovable, resides within the ability to re-gain this self-directive principle within myself, to no longer accept and allow any form of mind manipulation for me to not give direction to something that is Here to be directed.

 

I commit myself to re-establish my authority as an absolute standing of what I say I will do, regardless of any ‘label’ as preference imposed onto such task/ project/ activity, as I realize that I will only commit myself to that which is in the benefit of all, and in the benefit of me walking through the responsibilities I’ve acquired within the system.

 

I commit myself to re-establish my self-trust and self-will according to my ability to stand up from this, actually work on the points that I haven’t worked on and within that, become my own point of authority that stands as an example of what it is to live the words we commit ourselves to live, within the realization that if I don’t fully live this as myself, it is not only to my own detriment, but as an equal acceptance of what I am willing to perpetuate within this world, which is definitely Not procrastination and abdication of self responsibility any further.

Within this, I see and realize how the seemingly ‘personal’ things that we don’t take responsibility for, are in fact the building blocks of a flawed system as it is the consequence of our flawed participation in it, thus we have to become the example of what an equal-participation in all aspects actually entail. And this is a point to be walked here.

There are some more points to come in relation to self commitments and self corrective statements since I see that there are several points intertwined here – which I will walk in another character to be decided upon SOON – lol

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170. Positive Thinking Irresponsibility

Continuing with Procrastination Character 

Positive Imagination

As I had mentioned in the previous entry, whenever I had the ‘negative imagination’ such as the point of confronting my writings with my professor, I immediately create a rather positive point of imagination that is related then to, instead of dedicating myself to my writing, I would decide to rather ‘do some small things here and there’ and then go outside for a walk, for example.

I have made no excuse to not go outside for a walk as it’s been a very supportive point, however I see how within this same process of planning my day to ensure I do make some time to go out for a walk, I apply and implement the same for all my other tasks. This means that the seemingly ‘innocent’ moment of imagining the walk outside becomes another point of distraction.

 

Now, what I have realized as well is that this positive imagination does not ‘roll out’ much so to speak, meaning I am not fantasizing all the way about ‘walking’ or else, it’s simply a thought that rolls into the imagination of the air/ breeze, the view of the sun going down, clouds covering the sun, and having something to buy in the vegetable and fruit store/ getting milk – all which are also points that in my mind I make as ‘priority’ and something that ‘must be done no matter what’ which is yes, necessary – however the point is how I use these seemingly common sensical aspects to then simply place everything aside to ‘go get it.’ This means that I have ‘evolved’ somehow my own parameters of tricking myself into simply ‘leaving everything for a moment and going outside’ – which is how I then spend more than an hour out, come back to then see it as ‘too late to write.’

 

There are also future-projection points of imagination, wherein I am mostly waiting for the moment when it is all done and I simply can finally leave and be ‘free’ according to my expectations, which is probably the point of imagination that creates the most ‘noise’ as it is only within these thinking processes and imagination that I see it as ‘too far to get there’ and in that moment, instead of making the decision to walk it through in the moment and get it done, I go into the DIT (Do It Tomorrow) state wherein I simply give up any possibility of even approaching the document – thus, here another imagination with a negative charge comes in within this ‘battle’ between the positive and the negative: I go into the imagination of having to read through all these scattered bits of information and trains of thought that I had poured into that paper, aside from criticizing my Spanish for having too many ‘weird sentence constructions’ which I see I can simply stop judging and re-write in a more suitable manner.

Thus this imagination of having to ‘go through the document’ comes as it is: me sitting in front of my laptop and reading through the information, having to go creating the necessary cites and becoming quite specific within it all which in my mind has become part of an ‘undesired nightmare’ which is only me as my mind making of this task the boogey monster just by this image of me scrolling down all the writing and trying to ‘make sense of it all.’

I stop and I breathe as I see how there is even an anxiety linked to this imagination as I write it out here. It’s fascinating how within this simple example I see and realize how the seemingly ‘positive’ does not emerge from ‘nowhere,’ it’s actually stemming from the negative initial imagination of having to write/ having to fix/amend my writing/ having to actually do it and instead, covering it up with my personal version of love-and-light which is walking outside, having a ‘cool time’ and talking myself into it which I’ll disclose later in the backchat dimension. Thus it is plain to see how we cannot claim that the positive is ‘what it’s meant to be,’ as its very origin is actually a defense mechanism/ a distraction that we create in order to not have to face an actual point of responsibility. I also see and realize that I cannot have the single audacity of judging ‘love and light’ as long as I am creating my own ‘love and light’ through my positive imagination rolling in a seemingly ‘innocent/ harmless’ manner, which has actually become an accumulation of a ‘good/ positive experience’ to cover up the actual procrastination/ negative experience that I have accepted and allowed within me.

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So, let’s roll with Self Forgiveness these points:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a positive imagination point of me going outside, seeing the weather as perfect for a walk and in that moment imagine myself strolling around, experiencing the chilly breeze of air, the streets, the moment of walking in order to convince myself that I should rather go out for a walk instead of writing and leaving the writing for ‘later,’ without realizing that this single occurrence that I have made ‘okay’ to be disciplined about in my day to day living – such as doing it on a daily basis no matter what – has become one of the primary factors to kind of ‘make my day’ to in my mind create a positive experience toward it, instead of facing the point of responsibility that I am ‘saving for later’ due to choosing to go and do that which makes me feel ‘good’ and ‘fine’ about myself/ my day.

When and as I see myself being in the moment of the day wherein I see that it is time for me to write/ tap into the writing itself and get the image rolling of me walking in the street, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is the moment wherein I make the commitment to not just follow the ‘positive image’ and instead commit myself to do what I require to do, which implies that I can instead schedule my day to ensure that I get to do all my tasks, including my walk, and instead of seeking to have ‘long hours for my writing’ only, I make it a point to work on it in a consistent manner, as this is the only way I see I can ensure that I do not continue postponing and ‘saving for later.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind make it ‘okay’ to imagine for a moment me walking outside/ going out for a walk and use that single point of imagination as enough of a reason to go outside and actually do it, leaving aside everything else because ‘it’s my time and my moment for myself,’ – thus within this positive backchatting creating an acceptable reason for me to do that instead of actually focusing on making it a point to write before I go to the walk, and this is a more suitable way to actually direct my day instead of being ‘waiting’ for the apparent ‘right moment’ that is actually subsumed by all other tasks and bits that I instead go into, leaving aside once again this primary task that must be done.

When and as I see myself making the point of walking an okay thing to do in the moment, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can in fact continue having that moment within my day, however instead of using the time as a ticking clock for the time to go outside, I use that time to go into my writing. I see and realize that I have created this idea of me having to be in a particular ‘moment/ point of experience’ to be able to write about this, this which is bullshit and a blatant excuse disguised with characters to actually not do what I have to do.

 

Thus I commit myself to not leave the writing for ‘the end of the day’ as I realize that such moment is not the most ‘suitable moment’ to do so, as that is when I instead go into any other point that requires direction  or even another distraction wherein I then waste time that I could have used to do whatever I did before going out for a walk.

In this I see that it is more suitable for me to write during the day than waiting at night to do so, as the night comes and then the ‘Do it tomorrow’ mode becomes another way to justify not getting to it today.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the imagination as a remembrance of me deciding to write my document and having to go through these endless pages of scattered information that I have equated to a point and experience of anxiety and frustration and irritation, due to me having had no regard to go placing the necessary data to be able to identify the information appropriately.

 

When and as I see myself using the imagination of me scrolling down the entire document and reading through it as a negative experience within me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have kept this memory as a point to re-enact whenever I am ‘apparently’ making a decision to just do it, and that I have repeated and integrated at the level of a physical habit in order to Not do things which is unacceptable, as I then pull out the imagination point of ‘walking outside’ as a positive experience and make it ‘okay’ to just leave everything else for later.

I commit myself to stop fooling myself within my own mind with all types of images and excuses and justifications to not move and not do this  – it is even quite a joke to see how I have committed myself to write on a daily basis for a while now and how I have been able to do that without major problem, however when it comes to another writing point that I have separated from my current writing, I judge it as a burden/ as a point of resistance which simply allows me to see where and how I have created separation within my own value system of what type of writing is ‘more important to do’ instead of actually realizing that if I am able to write here, I am able to write in just another word document as well – it is a single physical aspect/ point to walk through, committing myself to remain here as breath to not allow any negative experience such as anxiety or fear itself as a single point that prevents me from simply doing it.

I commit myself to walk through the resistance to write and stop all positive imagination to not do it in that moment, and instead direct myself to open the document, start reading/ looking at points that require to be re-written, re-arranged and give it the same point of dedication that I have committed myself to in my daily writings, as it is then a single point to extend my responsibility to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own ‘temptations’ through my own participation in imagination, wherein I then become a ‘victim’ of my own positive-imagination to lure me into doing something that I ‘enjoy’ instead of doing that which must be done no matter what.

 

When and as I see myself creating my own ‘temptations’ of luring myself into doing something that I would ‘rather do’ and ‘enjoy more’ doing/ participating in, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is my point of responsibility and I see how it is just like a foolish point to continue giving my power away to this, as I realize that no matter how much I ‘think of doing it,’ it won’t make me more or less responsible about it, this is about being physically moving here wherein I stop all assessments, judgments, time calculations, positive imagination thinking and future projecting about the task at hand – instead, I bring myself back to breath and simply do it.

I commit myself to not use a positive image of me doing anything else BUT going into the actual physical opening of the document and working on it which I realize  is just an action of Doing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my own imagination as a positive and or negative experience that in both cases, becomes an obstacle for me to not do it, within this

When and as I see myself going into my own imagination as an excuse to not do things, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have made it ‘okay’ for me to ‘follow my desire to have a positive experience’ during the day instead of realizing that it is not about giving up ‘walking’ altogether, but simply not using it as an excuse or reason in my mind to do this instead of ‘that.’

I commit myself to stop participating in my mind in imagination in order to actually get REAL and physical with what is required to be done.

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