“Whoever is the cause of another becoming powerful, is ruined himself for that power is produced by him either through craft or force; and both of these are suspected by the one who has been raised to power” – Niccolò Machiavelli
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to integrate the illusion of power and hierarchy as part of ‘who I am’ and ‘how reality operates’ without realizing how within this acceptance, one gives way to laws, rules, regulations to dictate one’s life through politics, through laws, through so-called education systems that in no way have inculcated living principles, a living understanding of who we are as living beings that are made of the same substance – instead, I accepted and allowed myself to learn of the differences, the hierarchy, the power structures, the laws to abide to, following the education system to the T and believing that such structure was created in the best interest of myself, my life, the life of others and of this entire reality, therefore
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own responsibility to myself, to others, to this world through immediately giving up my ability to comprehend, realize, understand reality through physical living principles and instead, gave myself into knowledge and information, rules, supposed principles that I integrated as the way that I conceive and understand reality which I have used to lead myself through the world as a passive participant, believing that the existence of power in the political class was inherent to such structure that governs our lives
I realize that such power could have not existed if I hadn’t integrated the concept of hierarchy, authority, ruling powers, kings, presidents, monarchs, tyrants, dictators, magnates and any other position of power that implies a form of control and deliberate abuse in order to generate such power as the accumulation of ‘moreness’ at the cost of equality as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever experience powerlessness toward authorities/power structures not realizing that my own submission, fear and experiences toward the idea of something superior to myself, validates and enables the creation of such separation to exist as ‘how our reality operates’ – therefore
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the actual existence of the system is not in the people outside of myself, but it exists within and as myself from the moment that I accepted thoughts, feelings, emotions and the entire comprehension of my reality in inequality as ‘how things are’ becoming the perfect slave and follower to whichever idea, construct and system that was formed from the beginning of our time and simply agreeing to give it continuation from generation to generation through education, culture as if such rules, ways, structures and systems were genuinely representing the laws of our being and what is best for all which was never so.
I realize that having a myopic view of the problem of the world in only focusing on one system, one area such as the offense-defense balances of political powers, the violation of human rights, the deliberate fraud the monetary system is are only consequential outflows of the inherent hegemon/ monarch/ king/ ruler/ leader/ tyrant and dictator that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as myself as the mind, as the system that is the source and origin of ‘all the powers that be,’ that is the real image and likeness of what our reality currently exists as because words themselves as laws, people themselves as actors, money printed with numbers are in essence just part of this reality no different to anything or anyone else and that as any tool, it can be used for the benefit of all OR for the detriment of all. In this
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the key to change the structures of this system resides in the mind of each individual human being, for it is to realize that the best laws can be written to guarantee the best living conditions to all, the best monetary system created as a tool to guarantee the access to all the necessary means to live in a dignified manner can be created, a proper structure to ensure the preservation and sustainability of the ecosystem, taking care of the flora and fauna, the best constitutions can be written, but unless the nature of the human being changes = nothing will change.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to life by integrating knowledge and information that directly separates, severs, divides, hierarchizes, abuses and confuses our relationship to one another as equals by nature and in this immediately giving into the belief that something or someone can genuinely have power over myself, which begins at a thought level and exists in that moment that we learn how we must follow rules, ways, laws, regulations or else we would be punished by god/ authority/parent/teacher/police/judges and any character that we accepted and allowed to perceive would have power over others through the threat of punishment, thus having to follow the laws, rules, regulations written by us humans that never have existed with a foundation of genuinely caring for all, but instead already replicating and mimicking our own learned – accepted and allowed – ways of thinking and conceiving reality through the mind, which is a system extracts life substance from the physical body to generate energy, using all means and ways to ensure that the power/ the energy is able to be obtained over life, deliberately using/abusing the physical, the life force to power up its own existence and continuation that was then prescribed as laws, rules, regulations, ‘principles,’ morality, ethics, philosophy, wisdom, religions, politics, science and any other form of acceptance of such premises to be ‘the reality’ of who we are, ‘how things are,’ immovable precepts not realizing they were in fact pre-sets, pre-determined and pre-defined ways to guarantee the submission of who we are as life to the mind, the power-system and believing ourselves to be only that: pawns in a system, having a purpose, fulfilling that purpose or else we would die/ we would be punished and cease to exist.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in the beginning, fear the non-existence of myself based on the threat of ‘the powers that be’ whether it is the figure of a god, ‘justice’, parent, teacher, tyrant, judge, dictator, president, director etc. which are nothing else but necessary figures of control in a system that required such fear to maintain ourselves subordinated to the status quo, the ‘how things are and always have been’ and according to this acceptance and allowance of our history, our knowledge and information, we became slaves to it with an inability to think outside the box, because we accepted the box as the vox/ the voice in our head, in our mind as ‘who we really are. ‘
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint the meaning of authority with fear, with authoritarianism as the abuse of power instead of realizing that the authority of myself is the ability to direct and write myself to be a self-directive being in self honesty, using the real power that is the physical body to do so.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-authority as the ability to direct myself in common sense considering what is best for myself and all in the way that I live and relate to everything and everyone in this reality to an idea of having to be ‘loyal to the laws, loyal to authorities, loyal to my family, loyal to a country, loyal to myself’ as the pre-determined role of being a follower of the rules and regulations believing this to be something ‘good’ that would make me by default a ‘good citizen’ and as such, believe that this submission and subordination to become an obedient individual to ‘the powers that be’ would make me a remarkable, loyal and trustworthy person, without realizing it was exactly the opposite.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever participate in any form of superiority, subordination, inferiority, as the polarity in which our mind as the generator of this frame through which we view and conceive reality is existing as, which means that every time that I give my power away – which is the actual power of every breath – to a train of thought, to imagination, to an experience I am already recreating the slave-master relationship that I have existed as within myself, individually within the disparity that I’ve become as a body, a mind and beingness that has been suppressed by my constant and deliberate participation in the mind in the acceptance of it as ‘who I really am’ – this is then understood as the basic hierarchical relationship I’ve existed as within myself, therefore toward others as well.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to from a very early age believe that the intention of the creation of governmental structures, nations, states, and all the ‘powers that be’ was to guard my life, the life of all living beings in this planet, thinking and believing that if there was an authority behind the creation of our education system, the supervision of what we eat/drink, the rules that we guide our lives with then we would be immediately safe and our interests would be secured, without realizing that any formation of a hierarchical structure was never meant to be supportive for all individuals, for the existence of a hegemon/god/powerful entity implies already the subordination and abuse of everyone else that does not form part of such superior structure/class/elite.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that looking at political actors as the ones to blame is futile since we are the ones that from the beginning of our existence accepted the idea of god/superior, powers/ leaders and any other figure of power as ‘how society must function’ within the belief that we were incapable of taking care of ourselves, of genuinely understanding and exercising any form of self-governance – because we never pondered why we weren’t taking care of the matters of this world by our own hands – we became passive, complacent and subjugated to the laws, rules and regulations that we instead feared not following due to expecting any form of punishment for not doing so, instead of pondering why we had to follow rules that we inherently knew were not supportive every individual in equality and instead, gave into fear and decided to not question, not investigate, not challenge the way things are because in our own minds, we have never really been the actual director of our lives in every moment of breath, and instead gave ourselves into fear.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to integrate the belief that people in positions of power were ever placed in such positions to genuinely care for ourselves, to genuinely act in the best interest of all and within that, creating and developing a trust toward that which I believe was meant to ‘direct me in the best interest of all’ without realizing that this false conception has led us to believe that there were others taking care of ourselves and we then didn’t have to do anything about ourselves, understanding the structures by which our lives are governed – and instead focus on merely developing our individual lives accepting by default the limitation to ever aspire to get to any position of ‘power’ because in our education, in our comprehension of our reality such ‘realms of power’ were by default concealed of our understanding, leaving ourselves and conducting ourselves then to only conform, comply and ‘make the best’ of the limitations, the deliberate disparity and scarcity that we have lived in throughout our entire human history wherein as society, as human beings we have never coexisted as equals for we have always accepted and allowed the belief and idea that something or someone must be ‘on top,’ must be the one that ‘sets the rules,’ ‘makes the decisions’ and in this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent and lazy to learn or even care to establish proper foundations at a mind level to know how to live, act and direct ourselves in the consideration of what will be best for myself and everyone else equally, what will not harm or abuse others, what will support the sustainability of the relationships that enable life to continue, the relationship toward oneself as an equal part of such life – instead, we gave our ability to understand and comprehend the reality as physicality to the mind as the imposition of illusions made real through the violation of physical laws such as the notion of ‘power’ as something or someone “superior” defined by the ability to abuse, control, manipulate, deceive in self interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the consequences that exist as the totality of this reality based on the abuse and harm justified and conducted by people in positions of power/authority acting within the framework of a ‘power structure’/ hierarchy/ world system, not realizing that in such blind acceptance al of us, one by one, have played and become the silent bystander that has witnessed the abuse of each other, of all life and did nothing because we believed and justified it with saying that ‘someone else was responsible for it,’ and in this even becoming resentful, hostile, angry and rebellious toward authority without realizing that we have only been angry at ourselves for the ignorance, the complacency, the subordination that we accepted as ‘who we are’ in our belief of being incapable of ‘doing anything about it’ –
And yes, it is now ingrained to the point where it may seem impossible to deconstruct the foundation of this hierarchical structure that exists in every word in/as our mind, yet it is definitely possible to establish common sense, to understand basic living principles that benefit us all and as such go bit by bit, thread by thread deconstructing the fallacy, the lie, the fiction, the belief system, the knowledge and information that we have used to justify our abdication of self-responsibility to ourselves and all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by condemning ‘the powers that be’ all that can be realized is how any and all forms of abuse and atrocities are not only conducted by the individual themselves, but as the pattern that has been accepted and allowed, integrated as part of our ‘human nature’ from the beginning of time wherein the way to survive was to abuse and through these survival mechanisms, we then followed through to create our institutions, our laws, our philosophy, our knowledge, our ethics and morals based on this premise wherein the inherent belief of hierarchy as a normal organization of life has become our very self-created demise.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only through education about how the system operates, one is able to conduct change in the world, not realizing that this world as it is is the result of each individual’s participation in the system, as the system existing as the continuation of the past that exists within and as ourselves in the mind, harboring the basic premise and permission of the existence of direction as words in the form of knowledge and information that has never been existent to benefit the life of us all as human beings and our relationships toward everything that is equally here.
Therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to look at the balance of power to create solutions outside of myself, without realizing that even if the best laws, the greatest and most equal form of government is implemented it is only the structure, the foundation of the system to be – however the actuality, the matter, the substance of the system is not existing in the laws which are only words, or in the positions of people in power that are only fulfilling a role within the greater scheme of such structure, it is existent in how each one of us live and interact with one another wherein basic principles are lacking in our interaction with and toward the environment/ the reality that we live in
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to by defining myself as the mind that thinks in hierarchical values, impose such values, such perception, such frame and filter through which I see reality upon everything and everyone else, giving up my ability to see directly reality, to direct myself and focus on sheer basic observation principles where there are no tags, no inherent differences that can make us think or believe that some are entitled to be and have ‘more’ than others.
This is how knowledge and information on how the system is structured is only viewing a blueprint, the map, and the map can be corrected to follow new ways in which we can direct ourselves to a better destination – we are the ones that have to change the route in fact, we are the ones that have to direct ourselves to actually walk that process of changing the route, the ways to walk it or else the map as the words, as the new proposals, new treaties, new constitutions, new laws, new presidents, new monetary systems as organizational structures, as genuine representations of our self-governance and self-authority will be useless and remain as depictions, as representations or ‘dead print’ unless we genuinely live them, incarnate them as the living principles that we should have always lived by and is only now that we are able to see beyond the ‘mindframe’ that we’ve always existed as that we have the opportunity to change the way we conceive our reality, to understand how authority is not something imposed onto ourselves, but how each one of us accepted and allowed hierarchy to exist within and as ourselves first, otherwise it would have not been successful once such ‘authority figures/ powers that be’ would be created i n reality if we didn’t have the proper mindset to understand, to conceive and comply to the existence of such authority-figures/roles as part of our reality, as ‘how things are,’ never questioning why we required others to take care of ourselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through the blind acceptance of teachings/education as the integration of ‘how things work in reality’ I became a complicit in the malfunctioning, the abuse and the violation of life in the name of merely complying and not questioning my life nor that of others which means that through this blind acceptance I became part of the necessary continuation, perpetuation of the structures of power and abuse by the sheer integration of words such as power, government, authority, control, fear, justice, laws, education, family and all roles of ‘authority’ contained in them as ‘how things work,’ ‘who I am toward others’ and in this locking myself down as just another pawn within the system that gives power away to others in the belief of others caring for myself and guarding my best interests, which is as we know not at all so.
I realize that in order to conduct genuine change in this world, looking at politics, looking at economics, looking at education as isolated systems is not the way to create a change because change won’t happen just by re-writing the laws, codes, books and explaining how things operate to everyone because what matters is the decision that each one of us take in order to live and integrate the living principles of life in equality with which we will conduct ourselves to live the necessary changes and corrections to the way in which we have lived thus far.
I realize that the lack of common sense and living principles is what has propitiated our submission and compliance to “learning” how to view this world through the mind, through concepts, through value structures, through hierarchical orders instead of learning how to view each individual as an equal, each living being in this reality as part of who we are and as such realizing that in order to be able to organize ourselves, to direct ourselves, we don’t require another to tell us what to do, but instead we have to live by principles of no harm or abuse toward ourselves or others as well as self-responsibility as our ability to respond, to act, to direct ourselves and our lives in consideration of what’s best for all.
When and as I see myself viewing the power structures in this world as something greater than myself, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is the outflow and consequence of my own psychological conditioning, called education which is nothing else but the acquisition of knowledge and information that enables me to accept and allow any form of authority, abuse, power, to exist in this world as ‘how things are’ which is thus an individual process of compliance that has taken place wherein we have learned how to ‘cope with the system’ and ‘accept the status quo’ instead of directly seeing how and why we have come to accept such world-orders without a question, to begin with, and realizing how such ‘power’ only exists in the belief I have imposed upon them/upon the structure and system in itself the moment that I abdicated my own.
I realize that my understanding of reality through the filters of education, politics, economics, philosophy, religion has created the entire continuation of this entire system by living within the compliance of their existence as dogma, as how things are and operate, how everything has always been with which we have become passive participants in the continuation of the same cycles of negligence toward life, over and over and over again.
I commit myself to stop any experience when I believe I have no say upon/ have no power/ have no authority to direct a point, instead of realizing that we can only have power to direct ourselves to be the living example of what it is to live in consideration of all beings as equal, the best living forms and ways in which we can coexist and how if our reality, our creation is not existing as the living principles that correspond to what is best for all, then we have to become that change and promote that change through the understanding of individual/ self’s responsibility within it all, realizing that by abdicating our responsibility = we give our power away and as such, we directly enable and validate any form of abuse that comes with the structure of power as something greater/superior than our individual volition.
I commit myself to live by principles that contemplate and integrate life in equality, what is best for all at all times so that no division, no separation, no judgment, no proselytism exists within me other than the living example of what it is to live by principles of life in equality, of the equality within and as everything that is here as myself and as such understanding my own mind, my own ‘brainwashing’, my own conditioning, training and point of control to then see how it is only through changing the way that I relate to myself, to my own mind, to my own thoughts and concepts about reality to go seeing what is useful and what isn’t to support myself and others to realize that if we want change, we have to be the change but that isn’t about demanding or only understanding how things operate, but focusing on self change, the how I live, how I interact with myself as my body and mind and with others always considering the ways in which we can coexist in real harmony and peace by ceasing to exist in the belief of powers over ourselves .
I commit myself to realize that the power we all have exists as the functionality of the physical body in every breath, and how we are able to have that authority of and as ourselves as we go integrating living principles that are the genuine way to have power in this reality, to learn how to live and coexist In equality.
I commit myself to restore or integrate a sound meaning of words that are not tainted by the mindframes/structures within which they have been originally constructed to support belief systems of separation and inequality, but instead are words that can be lived in a sound manner with a certain living outcome that is best for all.
I commit myself to understand the systems through which we have separated ourselves from ourselves, how we have created this creation so that we cease to recreate the same patterns and instead plan/integrate/initiate and ‘install’ a new living program, a new set of directions, new living instructions that are aligned to taking responsibility of ourselves and of each other as one and equal.
“Remember, whatever is faced or created within self – self is and has been the creator. Do not live in fear of what is here, understand it, realise self as it and assert yourself to stand-up for change, to not expose others as you to such a world – but create a world in which they will be embraced with equality and oneness and actual living”
- Bernard Poolman
“We accepted it”
Memory and the Soul as the Creator Intended (Part 2) – Reptilians – Part 120
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- 206. Self Sabotage Is Self Interest
Continuation of the Elite Character – Self Interest when wanting to ‘Change the World’
Now from the personal interests and keeping ourselves in a position of current benefits, we jump to also another aspect of self interest which, as I had explained in the previous blogs, has to do with an inherent desire to get to a position of power/ recognition by becoming some form of libertarian to society, while earning money and living quite ‘well’ within the system – not to mention how I would mostly be only speaking about it but not doing anything practical about it. This is the substantial aspect that we can all still see around us: many people becoming ‘aware’ of change and wanting to ‘change the world’ but how much of that awareness is in fact practical to do create a tangible physical reality that can be best for all? Only by promoting social equality or justice within the context of my understanding back then would have lead to another revolution wherein further conflicts ensue without any actual change that would lead to a realization of how it is that Money is the current point that is required to be changed/ reformed in order to establish any form of change in this world. I was only looking at governments back then, people in it, and all the entire world-system as just some type of ‘evil’ that I was absolutely a victim of. This is where the trick resides here, how we have always separated ourselves from the responsibility of what is here and rejoiced in being able to point fingers and even Drive other beings to become aware at the same level of opposition and lead them to further ways to ‘escape the system,’ of which I am also responsible for and have walked in self forgiveness throughout my process, because I also led people to further irresponsibility and opposition within my apparent ‘clarity’ about reality, which was, once again, only stemming from my desire to place myself as this righteous benevolent person that wanted to change the world and bring ‘social justice’ while neglecting my own responsibility within it. How easy, isn’t it?
In reality, we have realized it cannot possibly as easy as that, it cannot possibly be just a matter of ‘letting things run its course’ and be asking for change while even desiring to get further recognition for being a ‘voice for the people,’ while maintaining our own benefits and being deliberately oblivious to how we were ‘good for fighting’ against the system, but not at all even being aware of how our own self-interest was still stemming from not being willing to give up our ‘little bits of heaven’ in order to dedicate our lives to an actual change, because we weren’t even aware of what that implies.
So, this is how at Desteni we are aware that social, political and economical change is required in order for the World to change – and that cannot exist if there is no Education for human beings in order to realize to what extent the configuration of this reality – including the ‘opposition’- was part of a greater scheme of enslavement of which we are all equally participants of by the sheer fact of being here. This implies that the first step is taking Self Responsibility of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become and within that, become part of a group that promotes Self Responsibility in order to establish an actual change and reform to the current system, while realizing that it is not about ‘opposing it’ nor spiritualizing the entire process to a heavenly experience of ‘self change’ either – it is rather a realization of practical steps and considerations that one must be absolutely willing to walk as an Understanding and Realization of what must be done, instead of it being just another activity to make oneself feel ‘better’ or ‘good’ or aim to get to some ‘higher position’ within society, which would absolutely go against everything that we stand for which is Equality as Life, as physical beings that decide to stand up and take responsibility.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think that wanting to ‘change the world’ was going to be a nice, blissful type of experience wherein I would be able to maintain all my benefits and even earn ‘more’ by promoting ‘change’ in this world, which is the entire personality of how I wanted to obtain some form of reward/ benefit from doing something ‘good’ to society, which reveals to what extent we have never been self-willed beings but have only regurgitated the same words and desires to ‘do something’ about reality, but never even questioning why we, people with certain amount of money, were wanting to do some ‘change’ just by promoting it, without understanding how the system works and how the actual change entails money and entails a process of participation within the system, not outside of it.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire ‘world change’ and expecting it to just ‘happen’ by a sudden realization of ourselves human beings being willing to just ‘do something about the world/ ourselves’ which was quite an ignorant desire from my side, mostly relying on an spiritual type of agenda that I also participated in, wherein I believed that somehow everything would be aligned to a ‘wonderful outcome’ in the end, and this relying on how brainwashed I had always been to believe that ‘in the end everything will be just fine,’ becoming a comfortable belief-system and ‘certainty’ within me in order to just continue pursuing my own position of promoting ‘change’ but never even looking at the actual root/cause of the problem in this world system, which is Money.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an entire character within myself of becoming an opposition to ‘the Elite’ once that I realized my own position and the self interest that I was living in, without realizing that I never actually stopped being part of the people that have enough money to eat and be educated – thus, I only ‘changed my mind’ about money, but I never changed my actual understanding of how it is that money works, how it is that no matter how much I pretended to ‘care’ about others as long as I remained oblivious to myself, my own self-change as an actual introspection and investigation of my life to see where and how I could in fact contribute to a world-change based on what’s best for all, I simply was projecting a desire to ‘change others’ / the world without having to look at myself, because that would mean then that I was in fact not ‘right’ and within my own mind: I was absolutely ‘right’ about what I was aiming to do and be/ become, neglecting the fact that I was also absolutely responsible for everything that I was pointing fingers at within this world, while still remaining under the protective shadow of having enough money to live well and still manage to criticize the system with no further solutions other than opposing it and ‘asking for change’ to the ‘authorities.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect things to always work out ‘just fine’ in the end when embarking myself within a process of becoming an antagonist and opposition toward the world system, wherein I essentially would only take pride of being an ‘aware being’ and ‘not being brainwashed,’ developing a constant anger toward society, media, people in general, without realizing that the actual point of change and real awareness that I was missing was myself, first realizing how I am equally responsible for this world which is ludicrous but, I never even considered how I was responsible for this entire world’s situation and that me and my desires to ‘change the world’ were coming and existing from the self-righteous belief that I had nothing to do with ‘what is going on in this world’ and that I was only a ‘victim’ of it, without realizing how this became my own protective mechanism from realizing how we have all contributed to the current state of the world by the mere fact of existing, by the mere fact of using money and by the mere fact of believing that we had some ‘higher purpose’ in life and that my ‘higher purpose’ was linked to becoming ‘aware’ and be the ‘world changer’ personality, from the starting point of opposing the system, not realizing that I am in fact one and equal As the system and that the system is ourselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world from the perspective of the Enlightened Self Interest, wherein ‘in the end’ I would also get a higher position after such apparent ‘world change’ which is the motivation that I had been conditioned to follow through as part of the entire process of ‘getting to a higher position in society’ while wearing a ‘world peace’ banner in my mind in order to justify the means to my projected ‘success’ as in doing it for a ‘good cause,’ which in the end is no different to any other job/ position that is intending to ‘do well’ and most likely only remain as a ‘promoter’ instead of an active participant within the system, working on a solution that will certainly not allow further elitism in society or any other vainglory form of personalized benevolence but only the realization that we can only thrive as humanity when all beings are equally supported. That implies that:
I commit myself to walk the process of realizing how any form of world change cannot contain any form of individual self interest to get to a ‘higher position’ at all, as that would obviously imply that only the same system that allows such ‘superiority’ would be reinforced with another mask of ‘change’ – an actual consideration and actions toward world change imply doing it from the starting point of realizing how we are one whole as one organism that can only continue living if we regard all parts/ all beings as equals – this implies then that only equal positions in society can exist wherein all people are equally supported with money to live, with education to understand how we can all practically become self-responsible beings and within this, understanding how money can only be valued as life in order to maintain such well being in society, wherein a form of sickness/unbalance to the organism can only exist if one single part is desiring to get ‘more’ than the other part, which is then another form of Self Abuse that must be understood as such and not any longer as Success which is how we’ve been currently brainwashed to think ‘power’ is.
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- MONEY Personalities : DAY 207
Have you Seen my Happiness Anywhere? (Part 4)
While I was working in the document, I could spot all of the following thoughts, distractions, desires and wants that would pop out of seemingly ‘nowhere’ according to the energetic imprint that I created toward that something in my reality – or even people for that matter which might seem odd but, I see clearly how the mind can literally grab on to anything in order to create a point of distraction to continue getting an energetic fix. This is because the act in itself of writing this document is not motivated by energy, and it is only a physical action while being correcting at the same time the resistances that I had created to actually get it done. So, while working on this, being here as breath is the physical support – but I did spot several points coming up besides the physical pains, and these are just examples of the ones that I was able to identify while working on it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the ‘thought’ of a movie that I wanted to download and watch while I was writing, and having the image of this single still picture of the movie that I saw on the internet, and for a split second thought of ‘going to download and watch it’ lol, which is absolutely absurd lolol since I am not even that ‘kin’ on watching movies– okay let’s see what’s this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entice myself with the curiosity and the expectation of me wanting to watch that movie ‘someday’ according to my own thoughts upon reading the movie’s review in that moment when I became aware of it a few months ago, and believing thus that I must now ‘find out what it is all about’ in order to quench my curiosity, which is only related to the process of distracting me from getting my written document done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having always given ‘head’ to that which I would rather want to do such as watching a video, hearing a song, seeking news about a particular movie/ concert/ artist in order to entertain myself for a moment, wherein then it would simply be already ‘time to do something else’ and in that, lose perspective of everything that I had committed myself to do right before this ‘distracting thought’ emerged.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always have the thought of ‘oh just for one moment, one little distraction for these few minutes/ won’t take long’ wherein I usually do stop writing and go do that something else that came up in my mind, without realizing how it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to first get into the alternate dimension of thinking about that something ‘better to do,’ which is mostly linked to a positive experience, then direct myself to stop what I was doing and then go and do/ attend that something else in order to satisfy my curiosity and desire to do something else/ get away from the task, without realizing that in such seemingly ‘unimportant moment,’ I lost focus and sight on that which I was already doing such as writing, instead of remaining here as breath and simply Not following through with my desires.
When and as I see myself going into the thought of a movie, song, artist or anything else related to what I have deemed as ‘my entertainment’ in the moment that I am about to begin working with my written document / already working on it – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am allowing myself to be distracted by my own positive thinking in the form of things that ‘I enjoy reading/ watching/ listening’ as a stimulation to my senses to get a positive experience from it, instead of realizing that I am here to direct myself and work on this document, which certainly doesn’t require me to first have some ‘positive experience’ to then work on it, as I know how it always goes: ending up wasting time and then simply realizing that I have to do other stuff and ending up leaving this task for ‘some other time/ later’ which is not acceptable.
I commit myself to actually stop myself from going into the ‘feel good’ experience as a positive thinking type of action such as watching, hearing, reading something that I have defined as my positive experience and instead focus on that which I am here to do – focusing on breath to not participate in the enticing thoughts.
I commit myself to breathe.-out the initial excitement and expectation of me having for a moment decided to go into the positive experience as a way to realize that I would only fall for the fleeting momentary experience of excitement and enjoyment as an energetic experience and single distraction point that in no way support me to actually be focused and determined to get to my document.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suddenly have the thought of that person in my life that when I was writing about recreating ourselves as individuals and taking responsibility and went into the daydreaming fantasy point of this person finally understanding and aligning his life to what is best for all so that I could then go back into his life and within this, allowing myself to create a positive experience that became a diversion point from the moment of writing.
When and as I see myself deviating from the writing into a thought or experience based on a positive memory related to someone that I had created a positive energetic experience toward, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the image is based on desire and that I am the only one able to stop it – and furthermore, work with.
I commit myself to not brush aside these seemingly fleeting points/ moments such as having the thought of this or that person in my reality that I had created a particular either positive/ negative experience toward coming up in my mind, as this is clearly following a pattern of distraction and imaginary enticing experiences that I would usually follow through – and in this, support me to also work with ‘my desires’ in order to ensure that I am not binding myself to any person or point as an energetic relationship toward them/ it – but instead support me to be actually ready to face all aspects of my life that I have brushed off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience pain in my shoulder blades when I have begun reading the writing and figuring out my how to proceed and wanting to simply stop because of the pain and discomfort, without realizing that in this I am trying to make of the pain and discomfort the excuse, instead of realizing how I have created the problem as pain and discomfort myself for having given too much time to the mind and procrastination instead of assisting and supporting me to walk through the pain, breathing and committing myself to get things done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a burden on my upper back when realizing that there’s this ‘thing’ that I must get done as soon as possible and instead of going into working on it, I experience pain and discomfort about it, without realizing how I am within this giving into the future projections, backchat and looping around the thinking and internal conversations about the amount of time it will take, which I have in fact already squandered only on thinking about it instead of doing it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my chest constricting and almost having a difficulty to breathe with ease due to getting into the thinking-process of time and the guilt for having squandered time and as such, neglecting the consequences that I am manifesting immediately in my body and as a consequence of me having participated in procrastination for an extended period of time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my body as jittery because of the suppressed anxiety in relation to procrastination, wherein the pain in the shoulders, the arms and the quivering sensation of the legs is an indication of me being reacting at a physical level in order to make me feel ‘bad’ and not work on actually getting things done, which is to the benefit of the mind continuing existing within its own functioning using the physical resources to charge itself as energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to complain about the physical experience of dull pains and poignant pains experienced in my arms and shoulders as a burden in my physical, without realizing how I am the only one responsible for doing this to me, due to the amount of thinking and looping around one single point that I simply did not do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘stop doing this’ as a way to stop torturing myself, without realizing that this is precisely not the way to follow through, as I realize that the more that I procrastinate and stop doing the task or directing myself to do so, I am not giving myself a resolution and direction as self correction toward the physical experience, but instead accumulating yet another layer of procrastination wherein my physical body is the one that is experiencing it the most – and I am only doing it to myself.
When and as I see myself experiencing a general ‘not feeling well’ experience within my physical body and wanting to opt-out from it and doing it some other day/ later, I stop and I breathe – I recognize that this is a defense mechanism pattern that I have participated in in order to not get things done and simply feel bad, go to sleep/ rest and then move on to do something else, which is plain energetic self manipulation.
I commit myself to face the physical discomfort as part of the consequences of me having created an energetic experience toward this particular task and within this, assist and support myself to breathe through the pain, write out self forgiveness in the moment, speak it out loud and within this I assist and support myself to walk through the resistances as they come up, as I am realizing that I cannot continue ‘fooling’ myself in brushing off the reactions and limitations as experiences that I had previously victimized myself about when it came to pains and within this, it is me taking responsibility for myself, my body and my physical experience as I walk through my time loop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever consider that being here and only breathing would be being too ‘lax’ toward myself, wherein I became used to talking myself into anxiety as a ‘rushing point’ to ‘get things done’ which is how when and as I am simply breathing, there’s this anxiety looming and wanting to come up even without particularly thinking about it, but it’s simply linked to the physical point of being working on something that I realize is a task and that ‘must be done’ no matter what.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a light headedness/ cloudiness on my head as I write and suddenly, a sharp pain on my chest emerges wherein I realize that I am fearing not having the ability to get this done/ not having what is required to do so, without realizing that the pains and the discomfort stem from the very thoughts that I accept and allow myself to participate in the moment that I don’t follow through/ continue with a physical application of doing things in my day to day living, but create a point of resistance toward this, without realizing that I have simply been missing deliberately focusing on breath while working on the task/ point to walk through.
When and as I see myself going into the cloudy-head experience linked to a sharp pain in my chest, I stop and I breathe –I stop participation in the least thought about me doing and directing myself within this task, as I have seen and realized the thoughts for what they are: simple distractions existent to only support my own mind possession at a physical level, to within this while being in such experience, make excuses to stop doing what I was doing and go into something else, which is precisely the point wherein I have to stop the pattern.
I realize that I have to actually support myself with reading other documents in order to also get further ideas on how to give it direction, as me wanting to do it ‘all alone’ and having no point of support is rather egotistical as well as in ‘wanting to do it all by myself’ and not using other people’s writings as references.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body to such an extent that I was absolutely unaware of the physical strain and discomfort caused by the procrastination point due to the amount of time I spent thinking ‘walking in circles/ beating around the bush’ about it, wherein I realize my responsibility within realizing how I tend to want to simply ‘cover it up’ with a belief of me not ‘caring’ about it, however once that the physical experience is quite heavy, it is impossible to not care.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my own physical body strain and experience wherein I have become a victim of my own thoughts and experiences that have been now felt at a physical level, wherein I then use this pain as an excuse to stop doing the actual work – being this a loop that must be stopped no matter how painful it is at a physical level – I’ve done this to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually be so used to things being so easy to me that I have actually simply followed a belief pattern of this ‘written work’ being something ‘difficult’ based on the stories I’ve heard from many other beings that would always make it seem as something ‘too difficult’ to do, which is not really so and within this,
When and as I see myself manipulating myself to believe that this document is actually too difficult to do and that I must even experience some ‘heaviness’ toward it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have brainwashed myself according to the stories I’ve heard from other people, not realizing how we as human beings tend to make it all seem either extra positive or extra negative in our minds in order to perpetuate an experience toward ourselves, our reality and tasks to do, instead of simply working on it, getting it done and moving on.
I realize and accept my capacity and determination to do something that should not be categorized any different to any other writing I am able to write and express as myself, breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate getting to the procrastination character in itself, causing physical consequences of this as a permanent binding force to the past as this ‘something’ that ‘I have to do’ but allowed myself to simply brush it aside and continue perpetuating it with no further actual physical direction to it.
When and as I see myself wanting to brush aside an actual physical experience toward a point that I ‘know’ must be done and worked with, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the key of the moment to self-correct is here as the ‘brushing aside’ point, which is an indication from my mind of that which I am existing as a reaction to/ toward within an energetic experience, which is a plain notice for me to actually work on it in order to take responsibility for this point of separation in the moment.
When and as I see myself having a sharp experience of anxiety – I stop and I take a really deep breath – moving my arms up and down if necessary in order to bring myself back here as I realize that such energetic experience must be ‘sorted out’ through breathing consistently and persistently as an awareness of me here in the moment.
I commit myself to not procrastinate getting to write about the seemingly ‘unimportant experiences’ that I would tend to brush aside, and within this realize that the more immediate my application is in the moment, I am able to re-establish myself as a physical level with more ease.
This is thus a practical consideration within the procrastination character in relation to process, and how I see that the more time I allow to go by, the more I simply create an energetic experience that I compound every time that I simply ‘think’ about it, but not get directly to physically do it. Thus, I commit myself to give myself direction to get things done and work on my self application as this is the gift that I can give to myself, the stability and certainty of re-gaining my self-direction at a physical level and toward anything and all I direct myself to do.
I commit myself to stop my self-entertainment and also within this stop judging the usually-labeled ‘entertainment’ as media and anything else that we would usually spot as diversion points, without realizing how I have created my own personalized entertainment as the mind and within this, become my own broadcasting company of positive experiences that I would usually fall for –thus it is here to realize how in fact every single entertainment outside of ourselves is only reflecting the same relationships we have created toward others / things in our reality with energetic experiences. Thus it is to once again realize that we are the ones that have created the entertainment industry as our image and likeness.
To be continued with consequences and redefinitions.
Flirting with Imagination
Interviews that You Must Listen to in order to SEE what we have missed all this time in our reality:
Continuing with 149. Meeting my Mirror = My Error
Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements to face myself as another in my reality playing out character that I used to live-as in order to equalize our application within common sensical/ practical living considerations that are physically based and not mind-obsessive based
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an immediate kinship toward someone that I perceive is ‘similar to me’ in terms of my old habits about cleaning which I had regarded as ‘unique’ or ‘not so common,’ thus when finding someone that presents the ‘same symptoms,’ I create an immediate understanding of their experience and expression stemming from the ‘who I am’ as such character – thus
When and as I see myself immediately ‘liking’ someone because they represent an aspect of myself that I had considered being a virtue, I stop and I breathe. I realize that we are able to communicate and establish a cool point of communication without now creating a point of separation toward ‘others’ as ‘those that do not commune with our cleanliness’ and within that, instigating separation between the members of the house. .
I realize that I am able to establish a point of support for ourselves through communicating/ interacting without reinforcing any point of separation based on the ‘who we are’ as cleanliness characters.
I commit myself to communicate and develop a relationship that is not based on ‘being similar characters’ – we’ve represented within being the ‘clean’ persons, but instead assist and support myself to be open to communicate with everyone here without creating a point of separation within my mind now that ‘I’ve got someone to communicate with that’s similar to me,’ as that would be reinforcing a point of separation that is not necessary to ‘embody’ as I realize that if the actions and patterns can be directed within a common sensical point of application that’s best for all, then we do so, as that is in the best interest of all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience within me for having someone to ‘backup my cleanliness’ and thinking that ‘I am not alone anymore’ within my cleaning habits in the house, instead of realizing that I have actually worked with becoming more flexible and establishing a point of laxity in terms of being ‘too picky’ when it comes to cleanliness – thus
When and as I see myself thinking that I am now not alone in my cleaning habits/ patters as someone else is now supporting them with the same zeal, I stop and I breathe. I consider the process that I have walked in order to not be ‘that’ obsessed about cleaning and the time that I have actually walked to – bit by bit – stop reacting to patterns of ‘uncleanliness’ which I then take into consideration to within this new acquaintance not reinforce them to ‘get back to the obsessive-compulsive behavior of cleaning all the time – thus
I commit myself to become an example of how one can be and become less ‘concerned’ about dirtiness the whole time and also take into consideration the practicality of keeping a space as clean as possible when living with other people that do not subscribe to ‘cleanliness perfection,’ – thus it is to establish a point of balance wherein only common sensical measures with a proper ‘leeway’ to ensure that no polarity of cleanliness/ uncleanliness is the directive starting point, but simple common sensical sustenance of our environment in common areas that we live in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘good’ about finding someone that is ‘as clean as myself/ even cleaner than me’ as that indicates that ‘I am not the only one crazy here,’ which would be reinforcing the cleanliness character that I have assisted and supported myself to slowly but surely become more supple on, to not be as rigid as I used to in terms of reacting in anger and contempt when finding dirt/ not seeing everything ‘sparkling clean.’ Thus
When and as I see myself creating a point of resort in another for ‘supporting my patterns of cleanliness’ to then reinforce my application, I stop and I breathe. I realize that creating this point of separation would be like going back to an obsessive-compulsive aspect of myself that I have worked with to stop and correct within an equal and one consideration of others living in the same environment, and within this, becoming more flexible when it comes to cleaning habits.
I commit myself to remain walking my process of establishing a point of common sense of when to direct someone to clean/ when to be flexible and not react/ demand immediate action, as I realize that I have to consider others within this process of understanding that a habit that’s best for all/ supportive such as marinating an environment the best way possible is an actual practical living-educational aspect that won’t be established overnight as I have to consider other people’s contexts and life experiences wherein I cannot ‘change them’ to immediately apply/do/ act as I say, but instead have to create a point of understanding within the consideration of what is best for all living in the house at all times.
I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to create a cleanliness character of ‘compulsive purity’ wherein I would become possessed in anger and contempt every time that a single ‘dirt footstep’ was impressed on my immaculate white tiling,’ which became a constant point of worry and concern that I did not see as an exaggeration at times, but something that was in accordance to me wanting to exist in a ‘perfect picture presentation’ of myself as the external world, while actually existing with a lot of shit inside myself – which is something that I had not considered how I tried to ‘wash myself’ from the outside and have this perfect-picture presentation, but not daring to actually see what patterns I was living as, what experiences I was going through and feeding through other addictive patterns and relationships at the time that I would actually ‘shove away’ through this compulsive outside cleaning.
When and as I see myself cleaning in a compulsive manner again, I stop and I breathe – I can see and understand that this is a pattern that I actually created as a ‘coping mechanism’ toward a point in my reality that I would try to suppress and cover up with compulsively cleaning and being constantly ‘watchful’ of cleanliness, which I recognize becomes a constant point of preoccupation and concern in the mind, instead of being here as breath.
I commit myself to instead walk the process of ‘cleaning’ myself from the inside to see how and why I externalized that process as a way to ‘entertain’ myself with the Idea of cleanliness while existing within a point of suppression to see ‘what’s inside me.’ Thus I assist and support myself to remind myself of this pattern being an actual mind-driven compulsive behavior instead of an actual common sensical consideration, and within this, also assist and support others to see the same points as factors that support us all to live in a way that’s best for all.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to become ‘self righteous’ about my cleaning habits and creating a point of separation to the extent of liking/ disliking people according to ‘how clean they were,’ which has actually been a measuring point within me toward others in a silent/ unspoken and ‘unaware’ manner, wherein I create a point of preference toward anyone that presents a ‘cleanliness’ pattern to which I immediately create a kinship toward and identify such person as someone that ‘I like’ just because it represents an aspect of me that I have believed to be ‘rare’ and ‘special’ and ‘unique,’ which is actually stemming from what I learned from my father in terms of not many people being ‘comfortable’ with cleaning and creating cleaning habits ‘for a lifetime.’
When and as I see myself creating a point of preference, righteousness and specialness toward people that present a similar ‘trait’ to the character I played as ‘the compulsive cleaner,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that identifying people according to the similar characters they play in relation to the points that I’ve considered as ‘unique’ and ‘special’ within me, creates a point of immediate specialness and uniqueness toward such person as a character. thus
I commit myself to be able to recognize similar patterns within others as myself, to assist and support me and others to step out of character to a common sensical application of – in this case – cleaning habits, wherein we do not only consider our ‘point of view’ and living-application, but also others that are not ‘too keen on cleaning’ on the same basis that we do. Thus, it is to establish a point of communication at all times in terms of the points that must be reinforced within taking care of the common areas we share, our assigned duties and as such, ensure that we do not create ‘two teams’ opposing each other within the cleaning habits of the house.
It is also a cool point to support others as myself by being an example of an equilibrated application of cleaning habits so that there is no point of judgment and blaming others for dirtiness, but instead consider a practical consideration of cleaning on a regular basis without it being a time consuming and mind-consuming activity that is considered as a ‘must do’ at all times, though becoming aware of any exigencies that are stemming from a character-request and which exigencies are actual common sensical considerations that are based on what is best for all to live in/ as within the common areas we share in the house.
I realize that in the past, creating a compulsive behavior toward cleaning lead me to end up living alone because of people not being able to stand ‘walking at my pace’ within my mind-driven obsession. Thus it is to remain within my application of a certain laxity and suppleness when it comes to cleaning, and as such, assist and support others to establish this point of equilibrium as well wherein what is best for all is reinforced and talked through/ communicated about in order to have no excuses/ justifications to not do the necessary work or being ‘over board.’ Thus a point of moderation can be established as practical considerations instead of character-needs that create friction between the two poles leading to eventual conflict and separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually create a point of ‘shock’ within seeing myself in another in such a clear way wherein the specific use of words, mannerisms and expression reminded me of ‘who I was’ some years ago, which I had not found before and is also a cool point to see how characters work/ manifest in a way wherein
When and as I ‘see myself’ in another presenting a specific pattern that used to define ‘who I am,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is not to create now a point of identification based on such similar old patterns, as that would be ‘stepping back’ to the who I was as such character in the past, which for the most part is slowly but surely being debunked – However, in the cleanliness point I see and realize how easy it is to ‘reactivate it’ as a point of possession/ obsession if someone else is also reinforcing such pattern within me.
Thus I commit myself to realize that allowing myself to be influenced by another’s application that reinforces similar characters within me is ‘stepping back’ to the old ways which I am busy walking a process of self-equality and oneness of – thus I it is to be and become supportive toward myself and others to establish an equilibrium within our application, and instead focus on working with ‘cleaning ourselves’ and facing the points that require purging/ cleaning within in order to make the outside cleaning an equal and one application of what we do within ourselves as our mind, which will then become not a point of obsession or compulsive behavior, but a practical consideration of what’s best for all to live in/ as – as within so without.
For further support and assistance to get to know ‘who we are’ as ‘characters’ and as such, walk a process to equalize our ‘special needs’ to common sensical considerations in the best interest of all, visit:
Something very interesting has happened in my reality and with a particular timing that is going according to the topics I’ve walked the past two blogs. A new girl came to live to my house and after all the ‘odd ways’ in which she eventually came to live here – besides the sudden ‘availability’ of space after two people decided to live – she’s been already a cool point of support to almost in a literal way ‘face myself’ even in the couple of hours I have barely interacted with her.
The specific point is that she’s aware of being ‘a tad’ obsessive-compulsive with cleaning, lol. She actually hugged me for having cleaned up the kitchen after I explained how I had cleaned up the kitchen – the whole event that I described in the previous two blogs – which was certainly something that ‘in my mind’ I could not compute, as I had not faced someone as ‘picky’ as I thought myself to be with cleanliness. It brought me back to the memories of ‘who I was’ when I first began living alone – well with another person – in my first apartment, which was before I began process and pretty much living out what I had ‘downloaded’ as obsessive compulsive patterns from partner and parental habits.
Back then I was obsessed with cleaning for hours every single Monday on a religious basis. The entire apartment was white so it all was just ‘perfect’ for my then ‘purity’ and ‘spirituality’ that I sought at all times. It was really a luxury for me to have the opportunity to live in such a place and I did ‘make the best of it, however I knew that it could only be sustainable as long as I lived alone, as I would simply ‘maintain’ it clean other than having to clean up someone else’s mess. That came to and end when I left school for one year to go to the farm.
Today I was recalling and actually telling her my stories about the support I got at the farm in terms of living with several beings – both human and animals. And yes, the stupor as well because I really had a hard time getting used to not living in an immaculate/ museum like place and actually letting go of my absolute obsession with cleaning and fearing germs, etc. I had been aware of being a very picky person, and I probably still would be reserved about being picky in such terms, however it is all part of the Ms. cleanliness character.
So, facing this girl living out the same patterns was quite a cool thing for me, to see where I can support myself as her to go ‘balancing out’ such habits now that I can actually see how someone with the same behavior behaves and does – fascinating. I even saw myself as rather ‘messy’ and ‘dirty’ when it came to seeing how I have in fact become ‘less concerned’ about everything being immaculate when comparing myself to her current stance toward cleaning, and as such, it was quite cool to see who I am when facing another ‘me’ that is quite similar in terms of the backchat/ frontchat about others. I see myself thinking that ‘there will be an appropriate time to begin addressing these points,’ as this is just the beginning of interacting with her.
I also realized the point of ‘liking her’ because I can ‘talk to her’/ ‘have more in common’ as I see myself reflected within the same point and way of thinking that I probably existed as in a very ingrained manner some years ago. In a way I see that I have been able to let go of my religious cleanliness in the past couple of years with more people not being ‘cleaning religious people.’ I realize that I also created a point of laxity about cleanliness due to ‘fearing getting angry’ when things weren’t clean – and so, I see that the starting point of it all in my application was more of tolerance based on personal preferences than actual environmental considerations within applying ‘what’s best for all,’ which is a cool point to also take into consideration.
What’s also interesting is that when talking about forgiveness, she replied about her understanding of it as the exact process of having to – in other words – ‘face your demons’ and taking responsibility to change, which is quite an accurate approximation to this process. However, it is to realize that the positive and the negative are actually patterns of the same coin just seen from different perspectives and angles as the starting point of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ will always be the mind – thus it is to transform the good and bad to a common sensical perspective wherein we can be sure there are no personal considerations/ self interest that can interfere to implement what is best for all.
So, quite a cool coin.cidence and almost like an oddity to get to meet someone that is playing out the character I used to hold oh so proudly about cleaning. The general backchat was ‘we’ll be working through the points as we go’ which means that I have to become aware of not wanting to ‘change’ her, but instead be an example of a way wherein we simply can deal with things without having to judge others for doing what ‘they’ are doing, which is at all times ourselves, because I did notice a general detachment from being the perpetrator of abuse on Earth with sentences like ‘They are doing it, one is not willing to participate in that/ I don’t do that’ which is a general way to abdicate responsibility, even if there is a common sensical consideration of being ‘one and equal,’ which is a common misconception when this oneness is seen as a ‘spiritual’ thing like ‘being one with the universe,’ but step out of such ‘oneness’ when it implies some ‘negative/ bad’ aspect of ourselves as humanity.
Will continue in the next post with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to face myself as another in my reality playing out character that I used to play out in an effusive manner as well, which is going into an empathetic character due to mind-associations and within that, assisting and supporting myself to not create a point of separation from others now that there is ‘someone’ that backs me up/ that I can ‘relate’ to, which would be relationship creation and separation.
Thanks for reading
“Purnima Halder, 35, was so desperate that she could not even afford to buy the children a meal.
She sold the older two children, aged ten and eight, for 185 rupees (£2) and then gave her four-year-old away for free.”
When living with and within the comfort that money creates in one’s world and reality, it is easier to see why no one would want to suddenly care about a fair, equal world that considers all beings equally when everything seems to shine on your face the whole time.
I was watching the news this morning and saw myself almost wanting to cover the TV with my body so that my father would not have to be eating breakfast while watching injured people in Syria on the screen, or all those ‘debt numbers’ from Spain – a condescending move from my side, considering that I was also eating myself and not realizing how I was in essence not even paying attention to the chronicle, but only looking at the pictures and in one moment I realized that I was there: watching images of people dying in gruesome ways in a war that I consider to be ‘far, far away from here’ while eating breakfast and ‘following the events’ on a TV screen in the kitchen. What a dissociative world we live in – yet I went to the office and there was no internet, I was complaining about the service and saw how we tend to get flustered with just about any single detail that may go wrong/ missing in our perfect little world for a couple of hours or days, while the lives of thousands of people can be completely annihilated from a single blast in one go, without having anything to even ‘hold on to’ once that that which was your life is ‘reduced’ to remain only as what is in fact real: you as the physical body breathing. Is that really reducing then?
Then I had plugged in my pc to the TV screen and my sister saw the news that I was reading about one man killing his two sons and himself when finding out the mother/ his ex partner had a new boyfriend, she thought it was terrible and asking something along the lines of ‘why would anyone do that?’ which is the type of questions we like to hold on to in order to in one single moment dissociate ourselves from the entire event, project it onto ‘others’ and believe that we are perfectly sane to ever react to/ do and commit the same type of atrocities, yet we Think, feel and become emotional the whole time, which is a continuous form of abuse, no different to a father that suddenly beliefs himself to be such thoughts and ends up committing a ‘grave mistake’
We get distracted with the slightest thing that can be an analogy of what sugar does to our body – an image, sound, picture, personality, anything that can for a moment just present the ‘ideal’ way that life should be about and that’s in essence the story of our lives: never really grasping what is HERE as the reflection of ourselves, but instead making up better, faster, accurate stories to cover up the inherent flaws and root cause of making it okay to seek for happiness and fulfillment in individualized /selfish ways instead of asking ourselves why have we got the tendency to only take ‘us’ into consideration and our future plan, but never the entirety of who we are as our physical body and this existence.
I went past a liebrary and realized that even if it was in the ‘master’s degrees’ section of the university, all the knowledge accumulated there had certainly not made any difference to the way society is actually understood, because the mind of the human being is not understood at all.
However, even if the information is here already as all the investigation that Desteni has provided the world with for over 6 years now on a daily basis, it is still ‘hard to hear’ because the money bubble as the positive experience is still one ‘hard bone to crack’ – apparently – however the current monetary system functions like a genetically inherited osteoporosis wherein it is just a matter of time that the entire structure of the body – as our world system currently – that seems to still be ‘standing’ may actually just fall down to smithereens once that the weight of the Lies that we have ate as ‘who/ what we are’ are exposed for what it all was: a play set to be lived as ‘truth’ in order to keep a Machiavelli-style system running for the benefit of a few, for the creation of a heaven that has turned out to be the greatest scam in the shitstory of mankind that we have become equally ‘aggrandized’ with, foolishly so.
And so, with all of this it is to see how we can virtually ‘spot the lie’ we have bought, sold and become in every moment that we interact within our reality, wherein certainly the highlight of your day is seeing a kid having a genuine smile after hearing the sound produced by hitting a candy against a lamp post – however, no candy and no lamp post would exist if no money was available to first have a ‘happy tummy’ fed, there would be no way to laugh.
Thus, I see and realize that we tend to only place people with LOTS of money within this ‘untouchable’ money-bubble, however it is not only THEM but each one of us in fact that have the ability to even be writing about what we are able to witness as ‘ludicrous points’ from the perceived vantage point of being ‘superior’ for being able to spot it. Yet what allows me to have sufficient energy in my body, what has allowed me to have enough education to be writing and speaking a second language? what is allowing me to have a pc and the comfort of a bed and a house to live in? Money as the current life-giver in inequality. – and this clarifies the starting point of any opposition and systematic antagonism as another tantrum thrown from the beneficial stand point of money as the primary point required to satisfy our basic needs that then allow us to expose reality for what it is.
What does this mean: that a woman that has to sell their kids for food will certainly have no ability in any way whatsoever to stand up to advocate and be a contributor to the Equal Money System in fact, she can -unfortunately – only stand as the billions of reasons WHY the Equal Money System must be in place asap – the Rich people living in a comfortable bubble will most likely not care/ haven’t even considered what reality is like when having no money at all – thus, it is Our responsibility to take this point on, yes you and I having enough money to feed ourselves, to read these words, that have access to education and money to actually contribute to the creation of a world wherein Life can be finally equalized through equalizing Money as Life – we all get ‘tired’ of reading ‘bad news,’ however: who accepts and allows the points that create such consequential outflows? We do – therefore, it’s time to Stop, forgive ourselves and start walking an actual process in our world wherein we can ensure that we support each other to live as equals, and that is through giving equal access to what is here for All beings equally.
Equal Money System
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Interviews to understand the position of ‘the rich’ and the poor:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how I was shaping and molding myself to become a person that would use words, knowledge and information to regurgitate it and the be able to be glorified by it in my mind, seeing everything and all ‘above my shoulder’ wherein the very body that allowed me to carry myself as a fatuous person was in fact the very life that I abused while existing ‘on the road’ to be and become the personality that I thought would make me ‘successful’ in life, which was a rather conceited and self-centered person that would only ‘care’ about the world if such point was directly influencing ME only.
When and as I see myself looking only after satisfying me and only me at all times, I stop and I breathe – I realize that living in a world wherein individuality and the exacerbation of the ego as who we are, we have taken our body for granted and only focused on that which makes us ‘feel better/ good’ about ourselves without understanding What it is that we were in fact using/ abusing to create this positive experience within us. Thus –
I commit myself to bring myself back here as breath in every moment that I see myself speaking or even wanting to speak something that will only add the ingredient of self-importance to what I have to say. I vow myself to ground myself here as life as what’s best for all in common sense, as there can be no need to make oneself ‘more than’ when existing here as life, as breath in the consideration of all as who we are.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an ‘empty headed’ person the moment that I would only care about ‘those that care about me,’ wherein all my familial, friendship and classmate relationships were always based on self interest, wherein the world could go ‘haywire’ but as long as I had ‘my world in place,’ I would not move a single finger to do something to support myself to become a better living being, simply because I wasn’t even existing as self-respect and self-consideration of the responsibility we hold toward all life here in our reality.
When and as I see myself ever going back to the point of only caring about ‘those in My world and My reality,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that there is an entire world that is here as myself, that is certainly also awaiting for us to stand up as living beings that no longer hold a family, culture, religion, language or any other legal association as ‘special,’ as I see that we have created a world-system based on hierarchy and specialness that we have imprinted in everything and everyone around us, constantly living in separation from the very objects, air, sun, oxygen, flesh, bones, skin, eyes and mouth to not see and speak and live as the physical flesh, but instead, gave ourselves away to be an empty head that searches for the light, the love, the bliss, the moments of ‘happiness’ and ‘joy’ that I deliberately sought to cherish for my own personal archive of experiences, never even giving a damn about any other being that wasn’t in My Reality in such moments of ‘bliss.’
When and as I see myself only caring about those in My reality – I stop and I breathe – I realize that even those that are only in cyberspace, there is an entire world ready to stand up as life, and that any point of separation that I want to ‘hold on to’ as special in my world, is essentially saying not willing to “give up” a single energetic relationship thread created toward something or someone that in fact exists as a point of separation, instead of walking an actual integration of myself as one and equal as everything/ everyone –
I commit myself to ensure that I regard all living beings, all particles, all and everything that I can see and cannot see at the moment as equal and one parts/ components of the integral self that we are here to honor as Life, as who and what we really are for the first time in our existential lifetime.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I was on my way to become an intellectual piece of grey matter that would only care about self-importance and really discriminate everything and all that had to do with Life itself, as I wasn’t regarding my very own physical body as that which is real, that which is who and what I am wherein I instead would ‘give head to’ glorious knowledge and information that would give me a ‘kick’ to learn and regurgitate as part of the words used as weapons of choice to always end up having ‘the last laugh/ the last word’ in a self-righteous mode
When and as I see myself wanting to still re-enact the ‘me’ that is always having ‘the last say/ the last laugh,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize this is not me as breath expressing, but me as the past as the ego wanting to have a ‘sip’ of drunken self-righteous energetic kick out of ‘exposing my wits’ in order to satisfy and stimulate brains as knowledge and information instead of actually speaking/ communicating/ sharing words that bring ourselves back here to Life/ living as the realization that humbleness is the way to stop any fatuous self-indulgent mind-activity that in no way supports life in equality. Therefore,
I commit myself to live the reality of me here as breathe wherein no thinking is required to exist as the physical body, within the realization that who I am as the configuration of the mind may come and go and that the reality that is me here as the physical, is what is real, is what remains and what will continue until its cycle end.
Thus, I realize that one more year in my life is for the first time an actual gratefulness for having the ability to LIVE and exist here, as I have committed myself to walk this process on Earth till is done – and here I renew my vows to life, to myself as life, and to all that is here that is ready to walk as life on Earth.
I commit myself to live the living-satisfaction way wherein I can only get to be satisfied about my actions, words and deeds as long as they all stand in absolute and unequivocal self-equality and oneness as I see and realize that it is through words that we learn to co-operate as the function that we decide to live in/as such words – thus it is through language that we continue educating ourselves, and through the physical actions the way that we ensure we become the examples that are here and will be here for everyone to finally wake up, open our eyes and realize that self-realization is always one single breath away.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not even notice the level of judgmental perspectives I would always be externalizing about the world, myself and everyone in it, wherein I never questioned if my words would have any effect on others/ the world and only seeing My Words as ‘My Right’ to speak, as if speaking in itself could do miracles, when it isn’t.
When and as I see myself stepping into the judgmental train of thought – I stop and I breathe. I realize that the world that we live in requires words that heal, words that support ourselves to realize the life that we are and carry around only as an ‘accessory’ for now – it is time to allow the physical to step to the front and utilize the mind to support the physical realization of who we are as individuals seeking to satisfy themselves for a moment, to then be left with nothing else to ‘show off,’ – thus
I commit myself to expose and live the realization about thoughts, intellect, knowledge and information as a ‘self-righteous and ‘superiority’ complex wherein it is almost a certainty how all of us that were aiming at becoming ‘knowledgeable’ people were only accumulating knowledge and information as a weapon of choice to be ‘more rewarded’ in a system that we have All accepted and allowed remunerates knowledge and information better than any other job including comments. Thus, I see and realize that to walk the most ingrained patterns within me, I must walk my process in absolute clarity and specificity, as there are no mid ways to go through it, this time.
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Fear: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘want to have it all’ while facing a point of decision between two or more options wherein the fear that emerges is ‘missing out on something’ by choosing one point or the other, instead of realizing that a want, need and desire exist as a mind point that can in fact be grounded and ‘landed’ to transform it into a physical practical and self-aware decision to be, do and live from the starting point of what’s best for all.
When and as I see myself fearing losing ‘the other one’ point as ‘option’ that I believed and perceived myself to have, I stop and I breathe – I realize that such point of possession to create a sense of ‘winning’ one and ‘losing’ the other only exists depending on the point of preference that I have created in my mind. Thus it is to instead change the starting point of who I am within having to ‘choose’ and instead of ‘choosing,’ simply turning the point into an informed decision that I can stand by for eternity.
I realize that the perceived loss is not real as it only exists within my mind, therefore it is to precisely walk the realization that I cannot fear losing something/someone that I cannot ‘own,’ thus it is to simply stop recreating the relationship in my own mind that holds no physical foundation other than thoughts, feelings and emotions when going into a conflict due to ‘fearing’ losing that other choice that only exists at a mind level. Instead I asses the points within the physical reality and stopping judging one or the other as ‘superior’ and ‘inferior’ as that’s only mind-assessing a point, instead of looking at it physically
I commit myself to realize that whenever I have ‘two choices’ and see myself wanting to ‘have it all’ as a point of mind possession to end up ‘winning,’ to see and realize that a point of choice can exist within the consideration of its viability and how plausible it is in this physical reality – as it is also a point to assess within practical terms instead of only viewing it as a point of preference as a ‘choice’ of a positive or a negative outcome, as that limits the point and reduces both options to simple inferior/ superior points as defined within the relationship we have formed with them in our mind, instead of walking it physically.
I see and realize that the first and primary point is walking my self equality and oneness wherein I cannot be defined by having/ not having/ holding one relationship to something/ someone, but instead are physically directed as points of support that I can align myself to without generating a desire and fear about it, but simply making decisions that are based on what is best for myself as all – and that’s the only valid point to take into consideration when making a decision.
Thought:I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of a point of leaving something/ someone behind/ missing out on something/someone which is placing a point of value/worth in separation of myself, missing out the actuality as the realization of who we are as one and equal wherein there can exist no loss nor gain in any way whatsoever.
when and as I see myself creating a point of conflict because of not wanting to ‘leave’ something/ someone behind in means of opting for the choice/ point that is in fact best for all, I stop and I breathe. I realize that there is no point of gain or loss within making an informed decision that is best for all, as all that I am is in fact here as one and equal and that what I decide to be/ become and support myself with, can stand within such equal and one consideration as I am the one that decides the starting point of myself within what’s best for all.
In this I can ensure that I in fact assist and support myself within my process, creating a point of actual self-support wherein I do not define ‘who I am’ based on the options/ points that I decide to walk with/ support myself with or dismiss, but instead become actual living-physical decisions of what can work and what cannot work, and in this the mind’s experience is not relevant as a decisive factor to ‘what I choose’ as this ‘choice’ can only exist within the principle of what is best for all in fact –
I commit myself to see realize and understand that a decision made within the consideration of what is best for, all cannot have a point of ‘lack’ in itself, it is to then see the ‘lack’ and sense of ‘dismissing’ as mind-created experiences in order to keep myself within a point of conflict that cannot exist and do not have to exist if there is clarity and certainty within the decisions made within the principle of what’s best for all – thus I realize that any dubitative mode around something, must be looked at what I fear ‘losing,’ then realizing that point of loss as an actual illusion created only in my mind as I cannot in fact ‘own’ something/ someone – it is only a decision to walk in this or that direction within the consideration of what is in fact best for all.
Imagination: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of ultimate satisfaction as physical exploration wherein I can get ‘what I want ‘and within that, satisfy only a desire in my mind that in fact indicates a point that I have separated myself from – in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself through relationships to options/ choices that generate a point of conflict wherein I am the one that has created the conflict when not considering the point in practicality, but instead approach it at the level of desire/ want and need.
When and as I see myself imagining a point of happiness in relation to ‘having it all/ being able to keep the best of both worlds,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that when walking the points of separation toward one or the other points/ choices, I am in fact able to see what remains as a practical and physical solution, wherein there is no longer a ‘make believe’ reality of ‘what can be’ as hope in my mind, but instead consider the physical practicality of such decisions and how it can in fact work in a long term basis as a living-decision in my life, wherein I ensure that everything and everyone involved, are equally supported within such decision.
I commit myself to walk the realization of how any belief that I had wherein I can always ‘end up winning’ in my world and that everything always ‘turns to my favor’ is a lie – Instead I can practically decide to align any point in my world to a best for all decision wherein I no longer stand as a a relationship to such point of choice/ option but instead, integrate it as part of the decisions that are based on practical terms, instead of playing a Hollywood movie in my mind, fueling mind desires that are not required at all when the point at hand implies Real living decisions.
Backchat: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘but I want to have all options’ as an indication that any point that is sought to be possessed/ owned is in fact that which I have separated myself from, creating an energetic relationship in my mind of want, need and desire – thus
When and as I see myself thinking ‘But I want it all/ I want to have all options’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that the BUT is already indicating a point of condition and restriction wherein I only Seek that which will give me an ensured point of ‘satisfaction’ in my mind, wherein the physical reality is not being considered. Thus it is to walk within the realization that the choices we make in our lives will determine the who we decide to be in our reality – and in that, only a principle of what’s best for al is what stands the test of time.
I commit myself to stop myself from holding two or more points in my mind as options that I Want and Desire to have/ own for my personal benefit, as it is within these points of desire as the mind that I create unnecessary conflict that I can see and realize are not necessary if I equalize such points to viable and practical solutions wherein I consider what it is that I am in fact willing to be and participate in throughout my life and in my world.
Physical: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of physical strain in my body due to existing as a diatribe in my mind based on seeking to fulfill points that I have separated myself from as desires and finding no way to ‘materialize’ them, as I see and realize that I can instead walk within/ through self forgiveness each relationship formed to ensure that I am in fact considering the physical reality that is Here as all and everything in which I can decide what I will be/ live and become within opting for one point or another as the decision we make in our lives that will define who we are and will be.
When and as I see myself creating a point of strain at a physical level upon existing in a certain conflict, I stop and I breathe – I realize that a point of conflict that exists within myself as my mind is not taking the points to a physical and practical reality, but only fueling a point of conflict through thinking, backchat and internal conversations. Thus
I commit myself to breathe whenever I see myself wanting to ‘shove away’ thoughts that I consider as ‘not relevant’ and instead walk them through writing, applying self forgiveness to see what it is that I am in fact existing as in every moment and within this, ensure that I do get to know myself as my mind, as this is not about anything or anyone else but myself in such moment as the relationship that I have with myself as my mind. Then, once the point is walked writing, the practical considerations must be given direction to.
Consequence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not exist here as an absolute clarity of who and what I am and what I am willing to be and become based on the decisions I made – thus
When and as I see myself existing as an experience of inner conflict that manifests at a physical level, it is to investigate my own thoughts, my own immediate backchat, reactions and experiences so that instead of ‘shoving them aside,’ I can support myself to in fact walk them within and through Self Forgiveness to then see and assess what are the points I am separating myself from as a desire, and instead, direct myself to consider the physical practicality of our living decision.
I realize that all decisions stand from and within the consideration of self-equality and oneness, wherein whatever I choose or not chose does not change ‘who I am,’ as such decision will be based within the consideration of who and what I am as one and equal to the points that I decide to align myself to.
I commit myself to live the realization that any decision I made stands as part of the self-agreement that I decide to give to myself as the realization that that which I will decide to live and stand by, will be the expression of myself as one and equal in its entirety – thus, it is to instead walk a practical physical living-projection to see what is viable, what is plausible and what are the potential outcomes when opting for certain decisions in our lives.
I realize that the Who I Am within ‘Wanting to Have it All’ is in fact a mind that seeks to satisfy itself with positive experiences and call that ‘a life/ living’ and ‘fulfillment.’ We are already here, and any point we decide to live with and by, stands as a 1+1 addition, wherein one cannot be less or more than one plus one.
This is the point wherein Self-Honesty stands as the guiding point wherein all the perceived choices can be actually be taken and considered within the starting point of what is best for all and in that, there is no way I can fool myself, as it is plain to see that any point approached from the starting point of energy, will fall. Thus I direct myself to make decision, direct myself always within the consideration of the physical reality and what I am here to equalize myself to and as within the consideration of what is best for all.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Any Choice that Cause Harm to another Life Form, is NOT FREE.
I commit myself to SHOW that FREE Choice is to Be FREE to NOT ABUSE Life.” – Bernard Poolman*
Absolutely Supportive Interviews to get to know ourselves as choices, decisions and preferences as the mind:%d bloggers like this: