I don’t know what’s going on with me right now, but I am not being as down as in recent past weeks. It’s great having those mp3 of articles so now i can take my time in the bus listening to Hitler’s story and all. Support has been great really, and right now i’m enjoying what i am. I don’t know if this is meant to be or part of process… but i painted today, i pushed myself into using white, for example.. i usually don’t use white and now i did and gave a whole new different look to it. And the videos … i find it’s a great way to communicate as well.
In the morning i went to painting workshop and saw this bird trying to fly, little bird trying to fly.. i just stared at him little bird flying from painting to painting trying to reach the upper point of his nest. I just let him be, i wanted to help but I realized he didn’t need me at all. Then i went to the sink, was washing my hands and suddenly i felt this wings rubbing my neck from behind, fast! and my first reaction was a little scream lol so everyone turned and i saw the little bird had flown to my neck and then away to another point. This was really weird! and everyone saw how the little bird went towards me lol… it was nice experience and i saw how birds can go out of places, they have no boundaries… i know this is obvious, but sometimes watching it infront of you is af if you haven’t ever seen a bird before.. great feeling. I remembered Andrews post about the little bird as well.
So I got home once again, went with a pc doctor to check out this laptop and i had so many viruses .. lol.. now it’s clear although i’m running out of memory… i wish i could run out of memory myself so i would have to delete my whole memory to stay as lighta s possible. This i will do.
I went to my sister’s office.. she’s got lots of kabbalah shit and talismans and whatnot to “attract good vibes” and all sorts of things… gee my dad had this novus ordo seclorum sticker on his door.. pff! they thought this eye in the dollar is good and attracts money. Without saying anything or asking permission to, i just took it off. I was almost off-ended.
Went to have some apfel strudel with parents and sister… i told them more about supporting themselves as others as equal whenever someone comes and talk about their problems. My mom’s like this magnet to attract people in life (family/friends) that tell her all their troubles and so she usually assists and supports them… but i have told her that the starting point should be that of realizing that you are not your mind. And explaining the process to follow other problems as if they were hers and then tell them what to do.
My sister says it’ll be hard for people to learn this stuff just like that, i said, it’s never too late.
I have quite a problem translating all that i’m so used to listen/speak of in english.. nice thing to share what i’ve learned.. although i still find resistance in this.
So.. i’m applying this whole thing about not being too hard on myself. It’s a process, yes i do sometimes forget being aware of breath but each day i get more and more what this is all about. Articles are awesome.. this is just going great in the way it should be. And by great i don’t mean i’m having a blast or fun or anything like that, but realizing what i am is certainly something that i wouldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams some months ago. I see that…it’s been only like 3 months since discovering desteni and it’s going just fine. No regrets now (of not paying attention to watch videos of desteni before when i saw them as video search results in december, when i was into discovering conspiracies and stuff)
It’s all about here and now. So i’m slowly but surely getting rid of past.
So i guess i just saw my reflection in that little bird learning to fly for the first time… and he gave me his wing movement to show me how he learned that fast…
and that i can do the same thing