The golden age of grotesque

This title comes from a Marilyn Manson song, but… it’s really more to tell about my day. I woke up early and watched videos etc., had breakfast and left to go to the museum. To my surprise the whole surrounding had two au plain air exhibitions. One had pics taken by Quebecois of their city. I enjoyed strolling there in the sidewalk watching these big pictures. Then went accross the street and watched Leonora Carrington’s paintings on the sidewalk as well, they were photos of course, but nice. I would always go in a “hurry” as if something had to be done really quick, and this time I took it all slow and giving myself time. I had this system always inside me wanting to do things right away, fast as I can, etc.

Went into the Tamayo museum and got to see three exhibitions. The photography one by Wolfgang Tillmans really showed me the possibilities of pictures and I went woow, but then again, ‘it’s only pictures’ I kept saying “i am these pictures as well, how cool” and I can see them moving as well, the big ones, all those colors just floating-like. Cool. Then to the other one by Artur Barrio who is a povera-like artist, making art with toilet paper… ha I wonder what toilet paper thinks about being used for art purposes hmm.. it was interesting, he shocked people by leaving bags fulll of human waste on streets, on museums… I took it as showing humanity our everyday producings on unexpected places such as nice streets and stuff.

Then the most shocking one was Thomas Hirschhorn.. he’s related to exposing over-consumption, mass manipulation, marxism, class struggle,e tc. His installation was site specific: three continuous rooms looking alike filled with all over scribblings on wall demanding the current situation we’re living in… some rocket-like structures had pictures of injured/dead/abused people all over… and there were couches and sofas entirely packed with duct tape. Keyboards, monitors, mouses, flat screens, wireless phones were also duct-taped to the wall. Graffitis, scribblings in some shelves, in some chimney like structures there were lots of wooden like materials, some huge transversal wood cuts had the words FAITH in them.. as to say, this is material to burn.. really really liked it. Above the chimneys a load of books were there… and even the full list of books was there all regarding information/philosophy of current social status, economics and sociology.. it all was done to make people aware, experience themselves in the mess, really fucking mess we’re in. It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve seen in a museum so far… but probably the one with most practical/direct use. To see people getting shocked or disgusted by the pictures of intestines out of the body, blood all over, arms without the body, broken faces, anguish, etc was quite interesting, at the same time i wanted to yell.. this IS our reality don’t you dare to panic or be disgusted this is YOU. But I didn’t. So it was a Big DO SOMETHING. Tillmans as well had some pretty great info on some tables he had at the end of his exhibition placing info on the current situation of world. Really this time art made me know that they aren’t lost in a beauty pageant. People are aware and these two were european artists huh wonder why? lol
So great experience… I have no shock going out and being afraid of people or something… it’s cool now.
I’ve been eating more than usual… I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat more than I need to just to fill some sort of void.
I came here and ate and backed up some more info to get this pc rebooted soon. And I had to read info on the paintor Vlady… but I really go.. HMM what’s the point… really, what’s the point? and then I wondered about which workshops I’ll choose next semester etc.. I said ‘Stop! you are here, that’s all, don’t worry.’ And I just would like to live in peace with nature, I wouldn’t like to feel guilty anymore for the pain i’m inflicting to myself as the earth, nature. I forgive my self that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for the current world situation we’re living in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an enemy of nature without really desiring to be one.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want/need to show others the world we’re living in to make them open their eyes. I realize no one would open them but themselves when they decide they want to do so.

I was wondering how does self expression exist within and as oneness and equality?

Got more Hitler info… each and everysingle point he wrote is… nothing but common sense. And some are horrible things to come but… we’ll have to face that as we’ve been a part of this mess for long time. Yes, I thought about us being innocent as well.. because if we got our minds erased then, how could we know, how could we know that sex isn’t really a nice thing to do? how could we know that creating yourself a perfect world in mind would create the exact opposite.. ah, these were my inner questions but then… I don’t look back and say: stay with what you now know. Yes, is K & I (Knowledge and Information) but… sounds like common sense to me. Perfect enslaved world with no way out, no way to see the deception, no way to figure out this was a perfectly planned cage.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tormented by the idea of near future to come.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel worried/exist in anguish towards the experience of myself in the near future.
I forgive myself that I havea accepted and allowed myself to feel anxiety towards knowing the outcome of this whole process on Earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the future of consciousness not being here as the breath as life. I am not of consciousness
It’s quite something trying to hack the mind. De-humindization has to come, soon, otherwise I really don’t want to see where the glass will spill it all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire hiding and avoiding being present at the time of real mess to come in front of eyes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think this world had a solution with a change. I realize it must completely STOP, not change.

I am glad that artists like these ones exist… if I still get to be into this art world, I would defenitely use this kind of methods to wake peoople up. That’s why I don’t see much point in learning old painting tecniques to keep pictures for 400 years.. there’s no point in that lol.. I’m not into that at all.
Let’s see how I move myself in this while I’m here.

Private forum is the greatest thing ever for self help for all.. I can’t be greateful enough for it, everyone there, it isn’t like we’re friends, no, we’re trying to apply oneness and equality there, being present for everyone. It’s really cool.
I had no school so enjoyed day here at home, tried to dance a bit but noticed I was forcing myself so I stopped.

Hirschhorn quote: “I do not want to invite or oblige viewers to become interactive with what I do; I do not want to activate the public. I want to give of myself to such a degree that viewers confronted with the work can take part and become involved, but not as actors.”

Yep that’s like saying you are it. wake up

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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