SF sleeping and pope

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire/wanting/needing to sleep more than 6 hours today
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that i need to sleep right now because otherwise i will begin chain yawning

I don’t require to sleep more than 6 hours

I find it a bit hard still to STOP yawning. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel in disadvantage with other PF members for being participating longer than i have
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not finding out about desteni before
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the very first bit of video i watched of winged portalling hitler and thinking she was nuttie girl hehe that was in december, but didn’t pay attention
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed for having asked for a proof of desteni being real to desteni crew
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire/wanting/needing a proof of it all being true, not realizing it’s all about common sense, self honesty and self trust
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel reluctance towards application of self forgiveness unconditionally
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when being named a hippie by my father
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being out of this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find more affinity with fairies of this world than with regular dimensional beings
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire checking on my fairy because of not being completely “fulfilled” with the tree of life interview, I am getting rid of my past I am not my past

Ha I have written: in the FIND application: Ivan
dulcinea is also wondering where is he

So usual thing here, i am almost done in painting class and i have to write 5 pages of academic stories about a a paintor etc
managed to do all things earlier than usual so enjoyed having time to clean and buy the food and all that stuff
I enjoy cleaning i enjoy eating i enjoy buying my own stuff to support me within and as my human physical body.
I just encouraged Jailarson to paint. ha didn’t know he’s part of the art folks as well hehe many art folks how cool , self expression invasion
I enjoy watching fairies videos very much, i can sometimes feel really related to their expression as me… sometimes i do speak like that, it’s like childish in a way but then they speak in a “serious” way that isn’t really serious but holds the charm or something
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowe dmyself to desire being charming
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being perceived as innocent
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being perceived as little girl
Yep, even the clothes, me wearing skirts and mary jane shoes haha it’s like doll clothing at times…
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowedmyself to be defines accordingly to the clothes I wear
Most of the clothes i own i didn’t even buy them myself… margarita did haha so whenever people said AH how nice Oh how cute i said well eyah thanks my mother bought it haha
I havne’t bought clothes in such a loong time and i’m glad, i have too many and i prolly use only half of it all or less than half.
I used to wear all black clothing! that was me when i was 16 17 years old… having really dark black hair, lots of dark eyeshadow, lots of mascara and compact to enhance the whiteness of skin.. yeah i was sort of a darkie person haha pseudo-goth although never considered myself like that… more like i enjoyed being outside of the usual stuff to wear to rattle the cages of the caged yep! that is.. i still do and i still find people looking at me with a bit of concern… or something like that.

so read more posts and videos and all.. process active ON.. self forgiveness is becoming my expression of choice now… and beginning to really being focused on breathing.. still runnin thoughts but focusin in the in out in out … stilL! moment of infinite exrpession inbetween the intake and outtake of breath is a bit trickier than the usual breath… i guess that i am enjoyment of process I am here and there’snothing else to get done in this world except standing up as what and who we really A
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowedmyself to feel hate towards the pople benedicto
gee i seriously once thought i was a heretic haha maybe that could give an explanation for my hate developed towards church institution
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowedmyself to believe i’m separate from norberto rivera
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belive i’m separate from popes
I forgive myself that I have acceptged and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that that’s just the way it has to be, when now i know that we create polarity manifestations with each and everysingle point in existence
so Enjoying getting more tools to support me, enjoying being part of the awareness within and as this process
i forgiv emyself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the beings that aren’t aware of process that all of existence i currently undergoing
I forgive myself taht i have accepted and allowed myself to cling to my expression within and as a childish manifestation of being in fear of it being not really me but part of the mind consciousness system
I am silence
i’m going pee pee brb

I fogive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to still exist within and as curiosity of the mind while wondering if this process was preprogrammed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remember gnostic stories on Hitler being a special being within existence accordingly to gnostic tales of him having a special mission on earth
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belive and perceive that bernard is a special being in existence.
I am one and equal to MyKey, I am one and equal to Bernard
cool stuff right? oneness and equality cuts down all the shit that might be told to create separation and polarity manifestations about someone or something of this world, bringing it all down to simplicity, to what’s here and now as me as all as one and equal.

I now see .. it’s not about saving others… it’s not about saving myself either. It’s about recognizing who i really am beyond this that i consider to be me, that isn’t really me. So we are all innocent in a way, but let’s say that innocence can’t exist while we still allow ourselves to manifest this fuicked up reality. Yep.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wonder which workshops i’ll choose for next period of school
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wonder and exist within and as uncertainty of future of myself within and as the school system
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire something going on in my life in order to get me out of what i’m currently experiencing. don’t get me wrong, it’s not like i don’t enjoy my life right now, but mind tends to think that i should be doing something that could benefit me more and therefore benefit all as equal.. such as getting myself prepared and unchained, get no strings attached for me to fully experience myself as being a portal as part of my expression
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that by me becoming a portal i could stop doing what i’m doing and dedicate myself fully to portal dimensional beings and help humanityin that way
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still run the thought of us being specific in the participation at desteni of this process currently undergoing existence.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to still believe that process will go roughly for 3 years and then will come easier in the foourth one
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as believes regarding the nature of process currently undergoing on earth and existence in it’s entirety
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within and as the uncertainty of doing self forgiveneess in the correct application
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire wanting and needing confirmation that i’m doing alright in process with self forgiveness application
Interesting how, seeing the inactivity of desteni crew because of inestability of satellite, fuick techNO-logic haha i have been watching videos that i hadn’t really seen yet such as fairies and system demons, structural resonances and soon i’ll watch all tree of life interviews.
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to deem as unimportant for me to watch certain interviews made through the portal, not realizing it is all ME therefore, assistance comes in each single interview as I am one and equal to all of it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I only had to watch the ones that were “interesting” to myself not realizing that in doing so, i was discriminating and existing within and as separation towards others as me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from me
GEE! matti just sent the tree of life for searching one and it talks about self doubt and all… all the stuff i could see of myself while reading ann’s self forgiveness thread… and all that still “lingers” into me with regards to my participation in forum and process
see.. now i can say that all my life i really experienced myself as being the “all knowing one” you know? hehe the girl that had everything right all time, that always got the right answer etc. and then i find desteni, whole construction falls apart and then i go into forum and find some people that i would considre as being REALLY intelligent because of how much common sense they have . Whoa right? but again, that’s all the mind thing, mind being challenged by knowledge and information, i existed within and as the mind for so long, so long beyond this life beyond memory and now getting to the point of disengaging from the mind actually creates this uncertainty place.. the unknown place.. although it is THERE where i have to get to then, experience ME
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become pissed off/bothered by A playing loud music late at night right now
i forgive myeself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by a playing music late at night
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel irritated by a repeating the song over and over again
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by things that aren’t in my power to change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated of people that act just like i used to: numbing myself through music
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered with myself for sleeping more than 6 hours
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire sleeping more than 6 hours because of believing and perceiving i enjoy resting
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that i f i sleep more than necessary i will manifest yawns in a regular way
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed me to become pissed off at myself for yawning
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated when i feel my eyes are closing and yearning for sleep
I will leave know
it’s late

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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