It is too late now

This is probably one of those days where it all falls into you like bam and then you realize what the fuck is really going on. yes i’ve seen all the videos, yes i’ve seen all the info and read.. but realizing it… grasping the whole is a bit different. LIke… see i even feel stupid for just exposing myself in not important stuff while i had been forgetting the actual reason of why I am doing this. Really.

Theres just only so much i could write and it wouldn’t be enough, as we are only indeed scratching the surface….. we are merely supporting ourselves… and yes I probably exist in fear still of all this, standing as all of existence here as me. That is easy to say but then comes the actual living of words and it’s a completely different story.

I would give it all, no doubt, i feel shallow right now for living the way I do and doing nothing about it.. yes i won’t change existence but i could palce myself in a more honest way of living…. but it all has already been manifested… it’s all here, i just have to walk through it with forgiveness as me, embracing all as me so I am able to realize to all that I am one and equal to. All my past lives experiences as me, beyond soul contruct and system manifestations… because it is me, as me. And i know my mind went dizzy trying to comprehend how the hell this works, how we were projecting reality but it’s only that.. being placed inside the program that’s it

i didn’t get to ask if this whole desteni support and assistance was preprogrammed as well, i think it has been asked before indeed.

So again, losing meaning to it all but at the same time knowing what I’m required to do

I wouldn’t mind making no friends at all , yes, I am required to stand alone and live what I am doing.
and fear only comes when mind comes in.

so that is why we get the opportunity to be alive, be here because being in dimensions means facing it all in a snap shot. Right here, now… and we get to still be in this program running… it’s not about better or worse it’s about that I am here and that’s it

All questions i see I made came from self doutb, fears, curiosity that isn’t necessary when there are things that i won’t even probably realize here.

Fear of having this body for the rest of existence, fearing having me as the one i will only have, fearing being left alone fearing bein part of it all without individual expression anymore

It’s all  superficial shallow stuff but oh how it defines ourselves, oh how it helped us feed our little egos and minds.

this mess we’re in and we must sort out otherwise, looping in another cycle… not again please

And it’s one of those moments when everything seems so little but yet so big… don’t know if i’m explaining myself clear in here. That’s what’s going on inside me

Glad i’m becoming aware of the pains my body always experience, glad that i’m becoming a little bit more me, even though i’m barely getting ready to open the can of worms…

As much as i deem my own stuff to be “not important” related to what I deem as “the bigger picture”, it is needed for me to go through all my stuff once again, just so i can stand one and equal to it through self forgiveness that’s it.

Dimensions are a really cool support but in the end, it’s us,  who will stand up, as them as equal.

Glad it will all have an end. I don’t fear the end, just fear standing as all as one as equal

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as all as one and equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience dizzyness and confusion while trying to understand the way this process will get done
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, for a moment, lose again all meaning in what we are currently doing..

This is something I do for myself, for the very first time in existence, I do this to get myself out of the system, fucking the system taking words as me for the first time, and remaining one and equal to them. we as words, we as mind no longer in separation of our own mind that is existing within and as throughs pictures and emotions.

there is no way  out, it is too late now,.. you can scream and you can shout,, it is too late now

Because you have not been paying attention paying attention!



About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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