my first unpaid job

Ok I just remembered this one. Lol, while i was in the bathroom: my first unpaid job was to take pics for a Christian Mass… yep they were going to pay me like 50 euros (more less than more) for being there 3 hours taking pictures. It was one of the most “interesting” situation’s I’ve been from the perspective of seeing how ‘blindfolded’ people could really get to be in terms of believing in a God and creating this paraphernalia around him. Now you know the Christian masses… they have this stage where they perform music, like a real band thing going on, then there’s the choir and then there was this group of girls dancing with tambourines and their coreography etc.

Now I got that “job” because the owner of that whole church thing, that also plays the guitar, was the guy that also recorded ariam, his songs, in his studio. So.. let’s say I knew this guy had lots of money but never knew that his father was actually the main priest there and that he played in the christian band and that he experieced the bliss of god while playing… lol… fuick I mean… I had not to LAUGH my ass of all the time! seeing all that people being ‘possessed’ by the “bliss of god”! and their chantings and their saviour praising… gee that was something… heavy for me to experience… People with their eyes closed (literally) with worried faces, with their hands up swaying from sound to sound to “get the bliss of god”, others crying… fuick!

And the weird thing is that they saw were all watching me being there going like “uhmm fresh meat, haven’t seen her before” So they were really ‘warm’ and welcoming me all the time and all but I made clear I was there to take pics and that I was ‘friends’ with gabriel (this guy that knew a) I mean fuck! LOL!

The ‘worst’ if I may say this was when the ‘recollection of seeds’ came or something like that was called which was no other thing that Nothing related to actual seeds, but envelopes that were given to everyone so they could all deposit their true heart christian devoted money to give to ‘charity’ of church in these baskets that the ‘main people’ of the church were holding… fuick! And i got to read what was written in the envelope where they asked their names, all data, the exact amount of money (go figure) and I don’t know what else now but…. insane! so they literally would know exactly what you, as good christian, would be ‘giving’ to your beloved house of god.
Yep… and people receiving money were like “oh thank you brother” and the woirst! people would make their children deposit this.

Ah! Children.They have to sit in special part of the church while mass and to me taking pics to them was the greatest saddest thing because I could really feel wanting to just rush them out of that place and leave forever, I mean… fuck! the are making this kids follow their parents’ delusional religion dream! and they were at some point like eh? uh? oh? lol, with that expression in their faces of… what am I supposed to doo heeere… ok I’ll move, I’ll clap…

Yes… well and then there was this time when they asked people that had ‘sinned’ to stand up and repent in that moment, and plea for forgiveness and what not… geee… I had to endure that and I was just rotting in my insides thinking, I can’t fucking believe this, that I actually accepted to do this, lol. But I surprised myself, I was very ‘pro’ in what I was doing, just taking pictures.. funny to see how everyone had been told they were going to take pictures so everyone came with their spiffy clothes to mass that day.
They offered me this tiny tiny plastic cup with grape juice and that was their  administration of communion… you know like drinking the wine and bread in catholic. they used GRAPE juice, lol. so I said sure! lol, but I think they thought I was accepting be part of god’s heard of obedient sheeple. Well… i had something as bread, could’v been a cookie maybe but don’t remember now… And so at some point, in the middle of the mass, where all the kids have to leave to go to their ‘classrooms’ – yes, there was this new part next to church where kids would be placed in classrooms –  and I was required to take pictures there .

So gabriel was always this nice guy and we talked a bit and then i began taking pics. I got to go inside of each classroom (imagine an elementary school but the main subject in all classes is : jesuschrist. GEE. Ok so… yeah in my insides I wanted to break all windows to let all those ‘poor’ kids free out of their sunday church school, my god! those people are really insane! placing their children in school on sunday? to actually learn about ‘god’? and the bible? and fuck knows what else… gee… I really wanted to end it all there as quick as possible…. I kind of listened over what they were ‘learning’ and all bible crap, all sins, all ‘teachings’ and what they didn’t have to do, and how the rest of the people were blind because of not following god’s teachings and preachings and… gee.. they even used simpsons characters to make the whole thing more ‘appealing’ but yeah, you know how, the christian way..

They told them how they had to become the children of god, and the the ‘hope’ and the ‘change’ following god’s laws and …. grr… I could see many faces going like wtf? but they were there…. and….. they will be there I guess until they realize what the hell is really going on.. .gee they are KIDS! for fucks sake.

Well after some ‘frustration and all’ I was like, I want to leave now… but I still had to take pictures of the ‘majors’ in the church… so had to wait till the whole show was over and I thought they were all going to be these meek humble people but no… there were these couples that were like the ‘rulers’ there and fuck! I took them pics and after I had taken it they were like ‘Oh may I see it? oh no no, I don’t like it, please repeat, and then again and again until they all were ‘pleased’ with their picture presentation. Then had to take pic to gabriel’s partents becuse then I knew they ran the whole thing, and so, his father was alright but mother, really really picky with the pic thing and asking me to change angle and whatnot… yep.. uncomfortable but had to be done.  After I had taken pics i was waiting inside the ‘main offices’ and I just saw how one of the ‘majors’ was taking all the money out of the envelopes and putting it all in a basket… i’m not kidding, it was a medium sized basket filled with money! and the moment they saw I was there, they immediately rushed into an office and I said to myself…. fuck!… yep, nothing else.

And so it all was over. I remember A had been nice enought to go pick me up, I guess I immediately smoked pot and ‘relaxed’ because it had been a really ‘interesting’ but ‘fuicked up’ situation I had been to. Now, I ended up so weirded out by that place and that people that I just sent gabriel those pics and he told me to go pick money and I never did.

Yep. funny how I saw this sweedish girl I had met in leonardos’s house singing in the choir, finding other christians in my homecity for her to do on sundays.. . and she had kept that in secret so she ‘made’ as if she didn’t recognize me. lol. well. ok… i don’t know .. If I had known of desteni at that time I would’ve probably not even accepted that ‘job’ or mabye yes.. and embracing all instead of criticizing and judging all the moment like I just did here.

what to do in this cases


About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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