I saw how money affected the very first moment I decided to paint.
This I realized because of Andrew and his recent post about Money and Art which it almost became one single word as everything else that can be ‘valued’ with a price tag.
It was summer 2003 when I decided that I wanted to paint, first thing the very FIRST thing that came to my head is: "oh no! painting in oil would be very very expensive and I want to be able to paint and paint and paint and as this is how i will be experimenting, I don’t want to ‘ruin’ things that are expensive, nope!" And so I went to art supply shop and bought these cheap cheap liquid watercolors that were ‘cool’ because they would allow me to paint without feeling the ‘guilt’ of being ‘wasting money’ while experimenting with colors and painting. I even used recycled paper to do so – meaning those photocopied texts from school, I used the other side of those documents to paint – and so my very first step into art was that of limitation by money.
If I would’ve had ‘lots of money’ I would’ve bought these huge canvass and went directly on with huge tubes of oils and acrylics and would’ve gone wild ‘having enough material’ to experiment and literally play with. Well it didn’t happen and since then my greatest limitation towards wanting to study art was that
1. Everyone says that it’s a expensive career which lead me to be uncertain and exist in limitation because of ‘fearing’ not being able to pay for material, fear of spending ‘too much’ in things that could end up in a garbage pile sometime – lol this may happen with anything really, being it art or not – but this limitation became my first step with regards to buying material later on to go to art classes, always asking ‘well and how much will that be?’ and thinking that ‘I wasn’t worth it’ meaning spending that much on materials for stuff I’d make. Wow. . . so if you see the first paintings I began making they are all made with ‘cheap’ watercolors and in bond paper used by the other side. . . quite a shame because I recently saw one of my first favorite paintings and colors are really going off because of light exposure… bah, see what money limitation does?
2. Getting money out of it: you see this is the first thing anyone thinks related to ‘studying art’ as being able to earn money. Either ‘starving’ or ‘making lots’ so it’s always on either ‘making it’ or not making it at all. Wow, how I had taken this for granted. I also hesitated to make etchings on metal because of the cost of the metal plates, I thought it was going to be ‘too much money’ and I wouldn’t be able to afford it and so, limitation all the way.
It’s sad how we are able to place a price tag in everything… this paintings which I hold ‘oh so dearly’ as being my works of art are also able to get a price tag, they are most likely to get price tags as they were also a product of money. It’s quite obvious yet, hadn’t really considered this till today while reading Andrew’s document. highly recommended for all .
So everything is able to be sold, everything is able to be ‘owned’ apparently not human beings yet, though this doesn’t mean that we aren’t enslaved to ourselves and our creation of power and money and greed.
Well I made a video today