oh pee kneel on

These past two days have been literally ‘outgoing’ meaning experiencing myself more open and doing things that I wouldn’t usually do such as just singing and dancing around the house, I have been enjoying myself in a way though I certainly have to make sure that I’m not only fooling myself and having a purpose for my current experience.

Yesterday I went to see these short films and then there was the short film maker and an actor talking and sharing their experiences.All they said is that if there’s a good story then we should write it and apply for a contest etc Well, I understand this as merely pushing ourselves into making things possible. This is actually an example of how we build up those ideas, THEN it is time to make them come to the physical, to make them real.

I had quite an interesting conversation with A thought I really became angry when I misunderstood his point of view – ehm ehm OPINION of MIND – and therefore there was this gap where  I thought that he was still defending his ego, I even threatened – oh dear yes – I threatened to ‘leave him again’ if he still was defending his ego. I got heated up, I felt that anger just as any other time when I feel myself threatened to my current ‘principles’ or idea of what oneness and equality is which at this very moment I realize it is also a huge fuckup as any ideas or perceptions are a fuck up. So here we go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and heated up when I understood that A. still wanted to keep praising his ego and mind definition of himself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire teaching others what ‘I’ have ‘understood’ without realizing that mere knowledge is useless without application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and a llowed myself to react in frustration and anger by thinking that A. could possibly still be praising and cherising his ego as the mind definition of himself

I forgive myself that I have always accepted and allowed myself to mold people around me such as ‘friends’ just as ‘who i want them to be’ so I can be at ease with them around the current ‘life idea’ I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of what ‘life’ is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry just because of wanting to defend my ‘point of view’ /opinion without realizing that this is MIND definitions of myself through opinions which isn’t me.

I KNOW I laughed when i saw that Desteni had uploaded these videos on OPINION and so I was amazed by timing, by seeing how I was trying to explain A this very same thing with other words when I certainly then saw how B. was explaining it easily, Great, I’m glad that I had the exact same idea and then saw it worded out flowing quite nicely. I must say I thoroughly enjoy these spoken videos, really, feels HUMAN.
So I decided to translate these out loud to A and he agreed completely, I recognize that we’d said stuff like that before though it is specific for us, for him, to realize that all that we ‘think’ we are such as the opinions we have of ourselves is an illusion, an illusion that confuses our beingness here. Yep, all opinions is judgments as ‘who I am’ which isn’t me. It’s also funny how A. has watched hist first real conspiracy videos such as those esoteric agenda videos… then I showed him Andrew’s drawings for alien documents and then we chatted a bit more about desteni and the portal etc. I see how it is quite effective that they are now placing video-text as it is a way to keep distraction off from S. while portalling or merely people wondering if ‘that is really bruce L.’ or any other person that was famous on earth. THe message is all. Well so back to opinions, great I was trying to explain this very thing today in teh morning, though I recognize that  I still want to be the one that  is ‘right’ in a way, a bit of stubborness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being ‘right’ most of the time

I forgive myself that I hav eaccepted and allowed myself to become angry and mad when seeing that someone is reacting the way I didn’t ‘expect’ them to react

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope on others that they will ‘open eyes’ someday
WEll

Well I went to a concert today, I enjoyed all three bands amazing, I ws moving myself quite freely

I forgive myself that I have acceptd and allowed myself to care what others ‘might think’ because of the way I was moving and expressing myself throughout the concert.

I’m heading back to mexico city tomorrow. I didn’t have classes today and so I took advantage to go out and enjoy music.
Most of the ‘action ‘has been while listening tl

So it it ok at the moment. I’m falling asleep. Thanks!

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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