My Demon

Welly Well I see what’s going on and I knew that something was severely changing within me, like ‘falling back’ into old ways maybe though as i said, it’s facing time meaning testing myself and my application though i see I have TERRIBLY fallen.
The demon I’m specifically talking about is the sex one, yep I had been ‘quite stable’ in the past months yet I allowed myself to experience it again and then seeing my ex.boyfriend on saturday clearly tantalized me and then kept me thinking around it forming the desire to experience sex with him once again. Oh gee… then I read/watch this:

  • DEMONS of the NOW and the FUTUR+E – with Pictures

  • Interview with a Demon explaining that demon possession will increase on earth.

  • Demon possession will be be based on self dishonesty and self interest where life is dishonored. Demons will transfer between people through sex , alcohol, drugs and emotional outbursts.

  • It will not be Armageddon -but ArmaDEMON on earth for years to come

  • for support on self honesty and self forgiveness to purify self as life here in honor of all life equal and one join discussions at http://www.desteni.co.za

And so I went like OH deeer! I knew it! though fuck, what’ll take seriously, why Do I still give HEAD to those fuicking thoughts on fucking and having hot sex with G. oh well, it’s all about memories, it’s all about DESIRE and I didn’t know the word tantalizing but All I can Say is that when reading the word I immediately related it to the experience I had on saturday with G. and feeling tantalized to ‘fall back’ into old ways as desiring and planning and giving head to throughts of having sex with him

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and give attention to thoughts on having sex again with G. in order to experience and fulfill my inner most desires

I forgive myself thatI have accepted and allowed myself to desire having sex having as an excuse that I want to ‘prove’ myself within sex with an ex-boyfriend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to flirt around G. in order to have him ‘drooling’ over me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be HERE by imagining having sex with G again and desiring experiencing sex with him once again after a long time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysel fto not see that SEX is something that is driving me thruogh desire therefore, sex is something I must completely stop until it forms o desire in ayway s

So the sex demon is here for me to face and all I can say is that I remember this Tricky song that says "Gotta face your demons on your own" So it’s true and that’s why these specific events have been coming up to my world and I WON’T sucumb really no no, not even if they look sugar coated and innocent as what I believe innocent to be so… t’s cool demons here, facing our shit at last indeed, thanks


About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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