It’s been quite a long time since I’ve written here and I can only say that a lot has been going on since I last wrote here. Let’s say that I had my time to be talking with people, to show my art and to get feedback from all kinds of people towards it and towards myself. It was quite a ‘ride’ let’s say because I got to see what is it that I’m creating around myself with the art and with the message I want to give through it.
First will talk about today and the experience of going to Social Security institution here to get me the social security number on the list for school purposes and so I woke up at 5, got there at 6:15 and there was already a huge line of people. It is strange because I thought that getting there at 6 would allow me to be almost one of the first 10 people there, lol, it is mexico city and certainly it never sleeps. Well the deal is I had to wait 4 hours till I got my card and all I can say is about what I experienced: lines and lines of us, people, wanting to get our social security services, ill people, lots of us coughing or having a flu and having no place to sit. Wow it really was quite an experience spending time there and seeing all the deficiences that our governmental social servicdes have, I really now understand how everyone prefers almost dying rather than having to wait for a line to get an appointment in the social security health service. I don’t know why I got a headache by the time it all was over but I kept thinking how I had gone there for a mere paper that I need for school, though I saw how people were really sick and needing to be checked by a doctor. One could overhear conversations where people complained everywhere about service, about there being too many people, about not getting the right diagnose and whatnot. Everytime I see myself inside a place with such amount of beings I keep thinking: how are we going to make this? and then I go to the next scale as picturing the amount of people in the city – which is about 20 + million and then the countryand then the world and it seems just a tiring thought. Maybe this produced the headpain, wanting to take more than what i am capable of doing in one single breath here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being overwhelmed by the thought of all the people that exist in this city all needing food to eat and basic services to survive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive people that go to social security as ‘poor’ because they can’t afford a private doctor so they have to spend hours waiting for a check up with a doctor in social security institution
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become impatient and tired as being sleepy because of having had to wait four hours to get my paper done.
Well eventually came out and did my essay which was about the art’s speech though, I couldn’t help myself ending with a sentence that declared that we need to shut down our mind for a moment to let it all just BE, lol. I see that I cannot help from eventually talkinga bout the truth of myself in anything I write, being it over the topic or not, I really can link it to whatever and It’s even more cool knowing that it isn’t just a ‘way of thinking’ or my ‘point of view’ but merely common sensical statements to which everyone is able to relate to and this is where I want to work with. I declared in that paper that I’m not interesting in getting more confused and apparently more complex by creating myself as a concept within art, but merely expressing the truth of ourselves which doesn’t abide with concepts and all that art discursive routine, but being in a way something that goes beyond art theory and expands its limitations and definitions to embrace a practice a ‘something’ that is related to living life as who I really am. Gee, I don’t know what teachers might say whenever they read my papers – if they read them –
So yes I finished school today, tomorrow I’ll be just delivering my etchings and getting my grade. Afterwards, everthing is done and so it will be time to rest and be at ease in home city. I saw my classmates exposing their final works in front of our class and I see how most want to make fun and go along with the flow of how we are existing currently meaning, making humor and/or sarcasm about the way things are currently developing within art and its definitions and practices. It certainly made me see where everyone exists and how some are able to see the ‘bigger picture’ yet no one really has a posture of ‘standing up’ or doing anything to stop. Everything is about making fun and or sticking to an old black humor to laugh about the life we live. Oh Well. I see everyone having these topics within their work and I see that within mine most of it all is about the current state of ourselves while realizing I am all as one, representing suffering as part of myself, as something I cannot hide from, as something that is also me and that is revealing who I really am as well. this is a huge change as I would use art to escape from reality and now it is to reflect my realization of being all that exists here, that I am certainly the one that also starves… Well I see how we all go through school desiring to hav evacation and we do things for a mere grade to ‘get on with’ our career and this means nothing really. So I’m just glad at the moment for having completed another semester here and knowing that I’ll have vacation and time to be doing what I enjoy doing and yep, shall be cool.
Thanks for reading there is a lot to write still about my experience within my sister’s wedding and our visitors and myself along with people, yep. And the spreading of the word which is one of the cooles things. Enjoyed!