The Last Breath

I had a dream where I faced death, once again though  -as far as I can remember – it was significantly different this time while ‘experiencing’ death within it. I was going in a car with my cousin and some other guys in the highway on our way to see Radiohead. It is odd because of how I used to say years ago that I would be able to ‘die’ after having seen Radiohead in a live concert. Lol, see how my mind creates and plays tricks on creating these situations to make me see how we cannot take life for granted. I was riding in the back of the car and the guy that was driving suddenly turned his head to face ourselves in the back and so immediately the fear of ‘oh shit, he’s not looking at the road and we may crash’ was created within my mind in the dream and so the inevitable happened, he overlooked the fact that the road would make a curve and we would then just break the contention bars and next think I know is we are flying off of a high cliff. All I’m able to see is all kinds of green patches of fields as if I was flying in a plane but realizing that this isn’t flying, but free-falling from high altitudes. The way I experienced myself was quite weird as those moments when I knew that we had crashed and that we were falling off the cliff I went through wanting to ‘save’ myself then immediately realizing: “nope, it’s not possible, this is it” and immediately reminding the following video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWqTn3YE_qA which actually was one of my favorite ones because of the expression, and it was surprising how in my dream – as I was about to die – I remembered this video and how suffering wasn’t going to be the problem but actually realizing that this was it, this was the end to my life and I took it with calm as I was ‘flying’ and so my last thought was to take one big last breath, wow it felt like the purest breath-intake I’ve ever experienced and that was it. My cellphone’s vibrator – my usual alarm clock – went off and I woke up. It was 6:00 AM and to my surprise I begin hearing some mariachi songs from a rather early serenade for some woman around my block. Lol, what a way to wake up and realize, hey I am alive! though I was quite amazed by the whole situation of dying in the highway because of how I had actually feared dying in a car-crash in such highway that leads to mexico city because we do go by high mountains and how I go through it twice a week.  Though the most important thing is how i experienced myself: calm! enjoying my very last breath as being alive instead of just freaking out on dying. Lol I see how I immediately went like: ok, I’ll leave this body then now, I’ll be interdimensional then and that’s it. Resignation I would say but I was calm and so I wasn’t afraid of dying, wow, it was so real all of it, even the exciting feeling of ‘being on my way’ to see Radiohead. Wow, what a mini film my mind created for me to see how I take death. I cannot doubt that all this that I just explained – as the thoughts that went througy my ‘head’ while being in that almost immense instant while flying in the car as being free-falling – are the real thoughts that would definitely come up if I do realize that I am dying. It’s great and to me it’s a great trancendence point.

I got up, went outside for the walk and as the sun was rising I thanked life for allowing me to be here, to be breathing, for everything I’ve gotten through my life that comes from earth to nurture me, for just being Here. How it takes a ‘near death’ experience in a dream to realize my  point of view towards death at this moment within my life. I am cool with what I experienced and I do want to be that calm when such inevitable point within ‘life’ comes – death. I’ve always been fascinated with death, lol, my favorite tv-series has been six feet under, figure it out! lol


Well after that I went downtown to pick up some stuff for the visitors that left today and walked around a bit then visited A, took my guitar and experienced playing my guitar with his amp which was quite cool. THen my friend Y. had invited me to go meet and visit one of his friends C. who is the woman that is with one of his colleagues so she was kind of interested in talking with me and so I agreed. We went there and spent the afternoon with her drinking coffee and cookies as we went through differnet topics. COmmunicating once again! Very very v ery cool because I see how I enjoy people that have the will to be doing something within this world to actually make a statement. We discussed on how theories won’t solve anything within this world and how nothing will ever change if we don’t firsdt change ourselves witthin our ‘human condition’. We discussed deep human feelings and emotions and how forgiveness is the soluiton to release ourselves from all past hauntings and conditionings that don’t allow us to be simply HERE. She is quite aware of being only the breath of life as being here which is very cool because she already knows the simplicity of what we really are and how we aren’t our ego and  the individuality we think we are yet, as myself as well, we still have to completely walk the talk though, I enjoy very very very much meeting people who are aware and who are willing to make a change in the way we experience ourselves. WE will sure meet again to talk more because all I know is that she’s got some illnesses as some tumors so she’ll be going into surgery soon. I kind of asked how she felt towards death because of me telling and sharing my dream. She said that she’d experienced death in a dream not long ago where her death brother actually would take some tubes off of her, some tubes that were within her mouth as she had it open with dry-violet lips and half-closed eyes. Her partner freaked out as she actually real-lifely gasped. I asked C. how she had experienced herself within such a dream and all she said was relief. She is strong willed – full of life woman, wow, It was the very first second time I’ve ever seen her in my life and I already had enough comfort around her as If we were long time friends. Really, it is weird meeting people like that so I’m just glad to meet her and talking what we talked, she completely dig what we discussed on desteni, wannes and equality etc.

THen we said goodbye. Y and I went into a cab where we continued discussing what we were talking about on our way downtown. It was awesome how almost at the end of our journey inside the cab, mr. taxi driver decided to give his point of view and opinion saying ‘wow, all  you’re saying I agree with and so very cool’ Really, It was cool for him to hear us talking about this, to us it was even cooler how he spoke and how he had been paying attention to what we were saying. once again, we see the importance of talking common sense and involving everyone. Lol so weird, my thoughts are creating my realizty as i speak them.

Well, THen I came and visited A. while he had some friends also visiting him and I ended up talking with the girl on waht I had experienced at C’s and how the conversations I enjoy having are stuff that ‘everybody knows’, that we all knwo but we don’t dare to take. Everybody knows we’re fucked yet, we do not do anything.

So I realized how I enjoy communicating, articulating words that will support life only, myself as life and how I enjoy creating awareness by having direct contact with people. Actually great stuff

Well cool happenings today I ‘hope’ more like these are to come.

thanks for reading and

I am here, i breathe – therefore, I am alive

 

My dream in a drawing

Advertisements

About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world. View all posts by Marlen

Share your Realizations

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: