I watched again part of Waking Life movie and it’s really cool seeing how these ideas of being one and equal were portrayed in such a cool way as this animation film. I enjoy it thoroughly every time I get to watch it. This time I watched it with A. and he was getting kind of ‘overloaded’ with so much info, he claimed that US – meaning people that are into desteni and all these kind of info are nuts and like our heads getting drilled. I said and explained how at the beginning I sipped the info available at desteni and I think I did spent some time just feeding my head though that was the first part of actually realizing what oneness and equality is and then you realize, hey there’s nothing to learn really, there’s nothing that may get you ‘overloaded’ in fact, it’s all about realizing that we are the breath of life as one and equal and that’s it. I see how some people get actually discomfort by getting their puzzle pieces moved, it’s as if they enjoy remaining in this bubble where everything’s stable and continuous. Yeah, we all though of desteni as being our worst nightmare though I enjoy the fact that all that we got from desteni is becoming quite wide beyond our same source of info. I agree that at an unconscious level ALL already knows about this and so it’s about merely ‘catching’ the info as they say in Waking Life movie.
There’s also this other very cool movie Fantastic Planet which I highly recommend because it’s an awesome view o human kind and extraterrestrial beings .- aliens – here’s link to playlist of full movie http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=CA1DC6B7650D27DC
And well, I had my very first communication with my sister already having some problems adjusting to her married life but it wasn’t because of her husband but how my mother reacted to her leaving home and being away with her husband’s family on new year’s eve. Lol, she’s such a child whining about her not being there and she emotionally blackmails her in a terrible way and my oldest sister supports my mother with such delusions of mind, that selfishness where she’s merely declaring ‘I do not want you to be apart from me, I want to still have control over you’ which is quite quite fucked up and it’s been a constant in our life, our mother always wanting to direct and choose ‘what is – apparently – best for us’, such a mommy thing yet, part of a crisis of the Empty Nest Syndrome. lol Oh well i made her see and realize that she’s deciding what’s best for her and her husband and that she has to stop her reactions to any kind of emotional blackmail imposed and creted by our mother. What a way to control, really, and she knows that my sister is quite sensitive with that and she knows that tears will make her be right next to her though this time I made her see and realize that it’s quite a silly whining she’s creating of this. She got it and was more calm when I hung up the phone, it’s as if I had to call her because I actually didn’t have to call her or didn’t have to plan calling her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysel to be resentful towards our mother for always wanting to control our lives
I forgive mysel that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mother as an ogre that wants to control what we do and who we spend our lives with
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysel to criticize and judge our mother for being too dramatic, childish, whiner and a stubborn within her reactions towards my sister having gotten married
I forgive mysel that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge her and my sister for reacting to each other’s words not realizing that I am reacting as well to what they reacted to while accepting me being pissed or angry at the situation because of seeing no point within it
I forgive mysel that I have accepted and allowed myself to still judge my sister as being too weak to stand up to someone like our mother
I do not accept and allow manipulation from our mother to control and want to take over our lives in order to be and do as she does and is to please her and fulill her expectations.
Then went for cup of coffee with friend Y. maybe I will go on january to his radio show to talk about desteni, I showed him B’s video tdoay and he really enjoyed it, he was surprised by how ‘true’ he found it. And yeah it would be cool to expose desteni to people over this alternative internet radio station, I’ll let you know even though it might be like 3 in the morning when the program will take place or people in the other side of the world, and in spanish, lol. Anyways, should be cool.
I decided to take some time off from here and I got an invitation by a friend in city of Cuernavaca and I’m leaving tomorrow or a couple of days. It’s my friend E. and we see each other like once or twice a year – he either comes or I go visit – and it should be cool walking around there and taking pics.
THAT was a real happening today because he asked me to find that raw file of some pics he saw in my blog so he can print them out and put them in his walls. Well, I got a dive into all my photo files and I truly had forgotten about the amount o pictures I have and I had no idea of this and it was so weird seeing my past within those pics, every moment, every take it was like fuck! half o my brain’s memory is there as pictures in a way, lol I’m exaggerating but really some I was amazed by, didn’t even remember I had taken those. So I realized that I had abandoned pics completely and I’ve got loads of material which is cool, experiemented a lot yet i still enjoyt aking pics. I see that my ‘artistic’ activity isn’t merely such a thing as ‘artistic’ but a way of living and expressing which I enjoy, though limitations still exist that’s for sure.
So I don’t know if I’ll write in the next couple of days, probably, I’ll be taking my pc anyways. So thanks and enjoy here, living withuot limitations of any kind impossed by ‘who we were’ as the past. Should be interesting going to this city where I used to be with these friends just because we smoked pot and drank together. Complete diferent story now.
Well thanks! and see you around