So even though I am not defined by time, It has been a 180 degree turn in my life. This year has been all about finding who I really am, what we all really are as One and Equal, how I stand within this and how I am only required to BE to Breathe here and support myself through our own individual processes of self realization. We’re all in this together. I was discussing with N how I don’t know what I would be doing if I hadn’t discovered Desteni. Really, fuck, who knows? Smoking pot, trying to find ‘myself’ in some religion and probably getting more ‘answers’ in white light disciplines. I thank myself for finding Desteni, for applying myself and I thank everyone involved from Sunette, Bernard, everyone at the farm, everyone in the forums I’ve met and have opened themselves to each other to support ourselves. Wow, such a turn in one’s life can only be grasped after a while. IT’s fucking cool to say that I’ve been ‘clean’ for 9 months off weed and well, generally changing the perspective I have on life, to realize for the very FIRST time in existence what Life really is. And a year is only the beginning. I commit myself to realize who I really am, to move myself and will myself to not allow myself to be anything less than who I really am. This stands for all as me, for I cannot see myself beyond everyone realizing this same thing.
I realize that things pop in life for me to stand, to share myself. Some friend of A. – whom I will call O by his initial – came over a few hours ago to his house and he’s been always a troubled guy. He’s 28/ 29 and he’s fucked his life because he says/thinks that his life has been fucked by his depression and general ‘down’ feeling. I saw him and immediately knew that he needed to talk, I opened my ears to say that I wasn’t going to judge him or any one as then I would be judging myself so that he was able to talk and share with me, with us. We began talking a bit and noticed general frustration because of his life, because of how he sees he’s unable to direct himself effectively.
He began playing the guitar and so I asked A. for his bass, plugged in and I joined O in his guitar jam, we did some cool stuff in music, trying to communicate that way. Then we went downstairs where A. made some hot chocolate for us and we would see how he had been moved by few things we said to him, so we both said: STOP THINKING!!! I then began explaining to him how he has to take directive control as his mind to not allow himself to be directed by it. He seems usually tormented by his feelings, fuck. How it creates such a turmoil when one allows it. I made him realize that he is the one allowing himself to experience such turmoil, such suffering and that while he sufferes and accepts and allows himself to suffer, he supports suffering all over the world because we are all one and equal. This all made sense to him and he remained quiet while I explained this to him. I Really encouraged and introduced him to forgiveness, to not allow himself to be limited and defined by his past, by his mind, by his hate as HATE was one of the feelings he first mentioned while I asked him to ‘browse’ himself at the moment. TO forgive himself and all involved in such feelings as despair, hate, remorse, regret, etc. To be just here, free from the past, free from limitations, from memories that keeps us bound to who we THINK we are. He’s quite a thinker – he would even adopt the position of Rodin’s The thinker sculpture, lol, what a program are we – I explained him: look, we are a program defined by information that we got from our parents and so on and so, are you going to allow and accept yourself to follow such program inside you? are YOU a PRogram? Nooo then, stand up, say till here no further outloud and Stop the thinking because it’s like a scratched disc, really. Hard drive that if kept with much memory, gets viruses – yes sometimes my analogies arent’ the greatest example yet, he got the idea. I also told him how I was clean of weed and alcohol and he said: wow, I envy you, yet lol he cannot see that he’s able to do the same IF one only has the will to do so.
ONe thing I’ve seen and it’s more than clear to me is that nothing or anyone will change if one’s not wiling to support themselves. No one will do this for you, we truly are alone in this yet, together as supporting ourselves, which is fucking cool. I see that I cannot give the back to anyone who’s willing to SEE and realize what we have to do to be free from our self definition. So I said O that we could go get some coffee some time because I am always available to talk about this, to listen others as it is me as well. A. had to go so we had to leave the house. We kissed goodbye and I gave him a hug which I felt he really appreciated. I met this guy O a year and a half ago probably and I enjoyed his taste in music, his bizarre art but he is/was such a drunk and he was completely lost within the realms of his house as a mess, as a complete outcast. He became more interested in himself while he talked and shared some time with us, then he had to face more of his manifested consequences which has been quite a rough time for him, and still is. His father is the problem here, his mother died and oh well, money as always, the big problem. WEll now he knows that I’m here to assist and support him whenever he feels like it. It felt cool listening, sharing and introducing self forgiveness to him. }
This is the way we support each other unconditionally, whenever I see anyone having self created thoughts of turmoil, I just share my experience and I leave them with the simplicity of knowing what life really is: JUST breathing ourselves here
THanks for all, thanks to everyone at DESTENI for having made of this year something unique in this lifetime of mine. Thank you ALL who read this and share this moment