See through

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having desired helping out people from their personal demons instead of realizing that there’s nothing or no one that can help but  themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become uncomfortable when crossing a large street in fear of light on green coming on and having to run

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly get images in my head of falling and hitting my teeth once again

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trip over the pavement and hit on my teeth once again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear running because of fearing falling once again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow these images of falling exist within and as me. i stop them Immediately and apply self forgiveness as fears aren’t real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the victim of my own mind as the imagination

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having existed within mysteries and curiosity of the mind when wanting to know about UFO’s and extraterretrials, other existences, galaxies, planes and all that was ‘beyond’ my understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel apathy when the sun doesn’t come out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold on to my ways of being ‘a  mother’ to my friends and in doing so, not allowing me to let go of caring about other’s affairs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge A. for having taken drugs again without realizing that there’s nothing I can do about it, only himself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the moon for the exaltation of emotions not realizing that it is only me accepting and allowing myself to exist as emotions that create emotional turmoil

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept emotional blackmail

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself into a loop because of not wanting to leave someone alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being too cold and heart-less as  the decisions I take to care about me and focus on myself within this process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself within the illusion of support towards A. instead of seeing that he isn’t willing to take any support, he just wants some company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the illusion of being ‘supporting’ him, not realizing that he won’t and is not willing to change and stop abusing himself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the same loop once again as wanting to help someone that is close in my world out of their misery

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cry over being so gullible in thinking that I am ‘helping him out’ when in fact, I am not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care what anyone thinks of me as me being ‘the all knowing one’ and thinking that I’m ‘more’ than them, which it isn’t so in any way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that i do experience paranoia at times which keeps me bound to being ‘alert’ instead of merely being aware of myself here as the breathe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be infatuated with the idea of someday ‘everything will be better’ instead of just realizing myself here and direct myself in every moment as the breath as one as equal as Life as who i really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept deliberate dishonesty within myself while keeping a relationship where I am not able to express myself as what is real because of ruining other’s ‘glorious cloud’ of reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still separate myself from my family members because of how they define me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated in how my family members see myself such as lunatic, crazy, looney, "out of my mind"  – lol – and all adjectives that describe someone that doesn’t fit their schemes instead of realizing that it is merely them recognizing myself as not part of their patterns as who they wanted me to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself as a disident

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with the crazyness I think I am

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to accept the definition of me being bitter and loner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having lost my ‘spark’ as being a happy smiling girl not realizing that I did so just to be liked and appreciated by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes yearn my past where everything seemed ‘cool’ not realizing that I was merely being blindfolded to not see the reality of this world

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to dislike family reunions because of having too many people in my house

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes dislike people in general

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to desire being a hermit just so I wouldn’t have to ‘deal’ with people not realizing that this was merely pointing out my inability to deal with myself, to face myself as others here. It is unacceptable as it is complete separation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself as dead every time that I realize I don’t have any dream to follow anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay in bed all the morning just because the sky was completely gray

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as difficult to relate myself with others that aren’t aware of process of self realization, self forgivenes and us not being our mind as who we think we are, but being the breath of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create specialness towards people that I’ve met through desteni as being ‘similar’ to me because we are able to speak and understand ourselves as our starting point is the same

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to keep resentment towards my father for having yelled such bad words towards myself and in doing so, existing as apathy towards him.

I stop all definitions of myself as who anyone might see me and stop participating in believing them

I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from who I am here and force myself to stay in the breath to go through it all

I stop participating in self judgment towards myself and others that may reside on opinions, thoughts and perceptions that misguide what is really here as me as one and equal as life

 

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About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world. View all posts by Marlen

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