SF

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being adventurous because of not having anything ‘certain’ while going in an adventure, an experience which isn’t controlled or ‘secured’ within the boundaries of what is usual within society, a circumstance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being used to the security that the environment which I live in provides me with. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I’m incapable of actually living an adventure as leaving my security zone, the zone of comfort, and risk myself in every moment to actually move myself and live

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that within this, I am existing within and as fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regretting that If I die in any moment, I haven’t actually yet experienced what it is to break my own limitations within which I live in .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in comfort and security within my own accepted and allowed boundaries, limiting myself from actually experiencing anything new.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a yearning for an ‘outrageous’ experience which hasn’t ‘yet’ happened in my life, where I can apparently feel what it is to really live – instead of realizing that I am already here as life, I have to search no more or go seeking for adventures to get a feeling of being alive. Living isn’t a feeling, it’s a realization as who I already am as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘turning my family down’ if for any reason I decide not to please them and accomplish that which they want me to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of a situation of having nothing to eat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possesed by the definition of myself and within that, fear losing that which defines me and has created the idea of me as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a separation with those with whom I had been in previous relationships as friends or partners instead of realizing that all of my past wasn’t real and that I forgive myself as them unconditionally for all the judgments and opinions we had one of another, going from polarity of love to hate or dislike

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the manifested consequences of any word I might’ve said that could be against another as me, I forgive myself because I wasn’t aware of what I was speaking and I wasn’t taking into consideration all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘important’ because of my opinions being considered to move others in this world, never actually realizing and placing myself as them to direct themselves as me as one as equal, but entailed self interest as what suited me at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever create an idea of ‘what I’m good at’ so I would be what I wanted to be no matter what, in that defining and limiting myself to be what I wanted to be as an idea of myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be guided by self interest, for creating relationships and bonds with people that I wanted to have around me, to create an personality of myself that would suit theirs as well, and within that, lose myself as who i really am and instead live, act and react according to the persona I created of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a victim of my own creation, of my own ideas, beliefs and perceptions as ‘who I was’ in the past. I release and forgive myself for all and every single idea, belief and perception I had of myself with regards to ‘what I should do, what I’m good at’ within this world because I realize it’s limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still exist within ‘hope’ for something – yet unknown- happening so we are able to fasten our process in becoming one and equal, instead of taking self responsibility and practically moving myself within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel discouraged from ‘what I’m currently doing’ as being at art school because I can’t find ways of ‘standing up’ while making art.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ‘mean’ to people that supposedly ‘cared’ for me, to fear hurting them by not dong, reacting and living as I did before while being with them, because I am not willing and I am not standing one and equal to their deliberate self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to mold me into fitting certain people in my world, agreeing and deliberately submitting myself to be ‘their favorite person in the world’ because I wanted and needed recognition from another, to feel special

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be guided by this ‘specialness’ that I I perceived myself to be, just like any other mind consciousness system thinking, believing and creating a perception around itself that they are like no other person. lol

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be friends with A. and be ‘happy’ around him when we got high together, therefore using ‘friendship’ and molding as a way to keep being friends and spending ‘good times’ while smoking weed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the fact that I didn’t get ‘anything’ from that friendship, because I did, and I didn’t want to see where self interested existed within the relationship.

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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