Well communicating with people in chat has made me realize how I often speak in a bossy way, imperative talking. I had actually already written down self forgiveness on this, seems so ingrained! And sometimes even people make fun of how i place my hand on my hip, bending my elbow in a v shape just as mothers do, or even hitler lol I saw this one pic of him doing exactly the same. So there you go, I even link this physical gesture to being bossy and it’s something that I’ve actually hated from my mother, her being so bossy all the time, talking in imperative and wanting us to do as she says when she requires something to be done. And then there’s me communicating and talking in imperative which seems quite ‘normal’ to me, but it’s part of my self definiton. So it’s me acting as if being imperative will be more effective for anyone instead of merely suggesting it or asking for something in a proper manner – meaning not imposing it as being imperative Imperative-Emperor-Master yeah that’s how I associate the word which is the meaning to being Bossy.
what is implied within being bossy, thinking that I have the right to give orders to people so they are able to follow them and do as I say, some kind of superiority complex which exists tied to an inferiority complex. A dominator. And then the idea of relationship pops up in my head in how I did as I wanted within relationships, always wanting to impose MY WAY otherwise I would place this disgust face they had to deal with because of not doing as I wanted to. OH fuck, that is exactly what my mother does when she doesn’t get things done her way!
and taking as starting point something I read in forum today
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become my mother
I forgive m yself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to impose myself towards people without noticing it because it’s become part of my way of communicating with other beings
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a bossy, to define myself as a bossy person
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to justify me being imperative and impossitive with people without noticing that I’m being bossy and wanting people to do things for me or wanting things to be done MY way.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to mix encouraging someone withi being bossy and imperative.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in someone as being capable of doing what I have proven to myself, without realizing that every one has to prove stuff for themselves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having existed as a ‘believer’ towards humans around me, thinking that ‘If I can do it, you can do it!’ and within this wanting to impose My ways in a subtle manner on to others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as being the ‘right peron’ that is able to cheer up people and define me as being good at cheering people up.
Though I enjoy laughing with people and making them smile if it doesn’t require much effort or external intentions, just in the moment
Well just sharing these realizations at the moment. Thanks!