One Month

So! Yeah I had problems with my password and the multiply site – so I’ll be posting and updating here –

Well the farm experience has been overall very cool, been here for One Month already and yeah, time flies – I haven’t written that much because the experience has been overall stable – being here is really like stepping into a place where I am able to be comfortable, to be ‘understood’ from the perspective of being with beings that are aware of Desteni and process – which obviously was a point that I hadn’t lived when being ‘at home’ – that’s been fucking awesome really.

I’ve been helping with the building, from cutting the pieces of wood, learning to drill, scrape, sand, Varnish!!! which I enjoyed – well I enjoyed all of it but I enjoy doing stuff with brushes – and yeah now I’ve been tiling which is also cool and grouting – filling the gaps in between the tiles – and it’s quite cool seeing how the whole process of building gets to the final stage of seeing one room finished – Andrew’s room is now done and it’s quite cool seeing that we all got to work on it –  the point is that I just allowed myself to participate and let go of all ideas, beliefs, perceptions of ‘what I could do’ or what I wasn’t able to due based on past beliefs of my own physicality and what ‘I can handle’ I mean, I haven’t had a problem with any of these activities and what’s most cool is that when you’re working, you’re only focused on that – breath by breath: finding wood, cutting, sanding, scraping, tiling, grouting, cleaning, varnishing, etc – it’s all stuff that is done bit by bit and THEN you get the whole picture and you got a wall, you got a tiled floor, you got a room varnished, you got a room clean.

I find it very cool as well to take turns in the washing of dishes and stuff – I enjoy cleaning anyways so it has been quite easy to flow in that way. Lol it was cool when I got my laundry and dried it outside in the most fucking windy day, most of my clothes were on the grass after a while. I mean, I have been used to living in cities  (huge ones) so, it’s been a huge change and I’m enjoying it a lot.

Last saturday we went shopping, it was the first time I left the Farm since I arrived on june 1st – which meant 20 plus days of not getting into a car and moving away which was interesting  – bought the necessary stuff and some art supplies – yet seeing too many people in the mall, different races all over was intersting but too hectic – I simly smiled when coming back to the farm, calmness all over again, ahh such a nice moment to come back, lol.

Listening to Bernard’s talks and discussions is just fucking cool and I get the stuff more and more each day, seeing the points, the obvious – going all cool that way. Since the Evolution of the Elite System was removed from my back, that pain that I was experiences since arriving here in the back  was gone, not completely, but I realize that it is now up to me to stabilize myself as the physical, to actually support myself in the physical and in all ways to change my physical body according to how I am supposed to really be as Life, not as a body that existed for the sole purpose of supporting a system – yeah was kind of shocking realizing what that system stood for, the definiton of perfection of fuckedupness as how the system works – yet Forgiving it all is the way to go, because it is a system, and as this system was removed from the physical so it Is for all as One – and with transcending this point, it’s transcending for everyone as equals in such point. The burden was never real then, it was a program, I existed as that design and therefore, realizing how fuckedup systems and manifestations are made me realize that it’s even one more reason to stand up and to fuck the system within the Principle of ONeness and Equality  – there’s nothing else really, lol. All is here, we are here, there is fuck nothing to fear – we are the creators and as creators we will stand and make a difference as Life – otherwise everything will just fucking blow and we’ll have to do it all over again.

Working with Leila in the video editing and process was also cool, getting to the point of having to work with another and taking another into consdieration was cool, pushed through that resistance immediately, eventually came out in a cool way so that was cool.

I enjoy being with people here, I enjoy drinking coffee, eating rusks, being by the fire, feeding the dogs, throwing the ball at timeless and all the dogs here etc.

I had to look at the point of liking a particular set of foods like fruits and  yoghurt and stuff like that, which I’ve made believe that it is actually ‘good’ for me without even investigating it, just going by that which I heard or ‘knew’ from what the media says, family says, apparent ‘professionals’ on the matter, etc. So I realized that I was placing ‘my liking’ in front of what’s best for my body – yet I cannot change my ways  of feeding myself overnight, will have to see what suits me, otherwise my stomach reacts and it’s not good – I already tried, not working that well but I’ve only been looking at it for one day now so….

A cool point that I’m living here is being unconditional – like being up to any kind of work that I can support with, I enjoy that, challenging myself whenever I can. Like, lol, I reacted when bernard said that one person will be cooking for a whole week from next week on, so due to my reaction I am going to cook next week which is cool, facing the fucking fear of cooking for many people – getting enough food, that the food is actually edible etc, lol – I haven’t really ever cooked but some two weeks ago I made some mexican ‘enchiladas’ for brunch and most of the people liked it -including those horsemanship guys from austrailia -so that was cool, so.. yeah should be fine on cooking – whatever pops up that I have to face, I push myself to it, otherwise, how else will I get rid of any resistance?

Probably the only resistance that comes to my mind from now and then is going home, lol, things are getting quite fucked up there as people go dying and members of family are facing themselves in various situations – now they are saying that they now ‘know’ what I meant by all this ‘process’ and self forgiveness and all that which I repeatedly explained to them- they are now ‘getting it’ – well some of them’ due to the shit that’s hitting the fan in their lives. I don’t want to think of the future or ‘going back’ fuck no, not at this moment  

So I’m basically enjoying every moment here – yeah I got sick like the first week, part of the purification getting here, got weird pimples that I hadn’t ever really had in such nature – I’ve been having massage sessions with Leila and she’s been fucking cool assistance with difusing the physical christals that were formed due to such system manifestation on my back – my back is no longer such a hard block of skin which is quite fucking cool as well. I’ve enjoyed being with her a lot as well, everyone here really – I enjoy the way day by day new stuff comes up to make /do/realize, seeing how everyone’s facing points and just the usual shit on day to day life here -eating, shitting, drinking coffee, smoking, working, discussing, etc etc etc.

So that’s my ‘farm experience’ – finding stability here, enjoying laying on the grass watching the trees yet, opening eyes to see the fuckedupness of the system and all that we aren’t aware of – seeing that we’ve limited ourselves to the extent of not being aware of our physical and its processes – this is one of the reasons of why i am here, getting in touch with the physical which is the main point for me now – i’ve mostly sorted out the major shit in the mind so it’s not about physical alignment – so we’ll see.

Ok that’s it. Enjoy!

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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