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Here I used Muscle Communication and the dictionary to find priority words to look at in relation to the exploration of my accepted and lived self definition as Self Righteousness. Here’s the result:
Abstraction: ‘a general idea rather than an actual example’
First point that tested out in dictionary was ‘abstraction’ within the definition of this word I see that my self-defined experienced as Self Righteousness is ‘explained’ where I’ve mostly haven’t Lived the knowledge and information as being Living My Self Forgiveness and Physically correcting myself in every single moment – no matter where I place myself in or what I do – which would imply stopping ‘thinking’ that I am ‘living’ my understanding of what Self Honesty is and simply be Here in every breath, devoid of any mind experience directing my world – being the Actual Living Word.
Within this the point of Self Righteousness I’ve realize that I’ve been ‘blinding me’ from realizing that there are certain points that I wasn’t fully living as myself here – and instead I was living within the ‘General notion-Idea-thought-belief-perception’ that I was doing so – because of thinking that I am ‘right’ or ‘doing well’ within my application in my practical living reality – this is a point of belief as ‘who I am’ which is defining myself as such idea without being able to Fully Act upon my own understanding and correcting myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain as a point of knowledge and information of what being Self Honest is without living it fully and completely – yet thinking that ‘I am doing so’ because of standing as Self Righteousness wherein I deny any ‘corrections’ that I have to make in order to fully apply myself and no longer allow me to indulge in any ‘idea’ that I am living it – but instead living it in fact in my direct reality.
Helmet: ‘a protective hard covering for the head’
Lol – ok so tested out that Self Righteousness is actually a way to Protect myself as My Mind as the ideas, beliefs and perceptions I ‘stand for’ – it is a ‘figuratively’ way of describing what I’m doing when standing as ‘Self Righteousness’: deliberately ‘defending’ my point of view, defending that which ‘I stand for’ which is yet coming not as a common sensical point of view at times, but from my own beliefs of having ‘free will’ or ‘free choice’ –
Within this, protecting myself in the delusion of thinking that ‘I’m doing fine’ and the rest are wrong – blinding myself to see what I was really doing within this standing as Self Righteousness, which is the direct effect of protecting my Ego, my ‘precious’ as the ‘idea of self’ that I ‘built’ with ‘such effort in time’ – lol. I remember at some point being ‘proud’ of ‘who I am’ in relation to comparing myself to people in my environment, being proud of ‘going out of the mold’ of my own family and peers, without ever realizing that I was merely standing as a polarity manifestation of the initial reference point which was my environment – thus creating, shaping and molding myself according to being that polarity point.
I realize that I just have to stand here without any ‘standing’ as ‘myself’ as the idea of myself as thoughts, beliefs, pictures and perceptions – but Standing in Self Honesty as myself, without any desire to ‘protect’ the idea of myself, my beliefs and ideals which have relied on a separate point coming as knowledge and informaiton that I simply ‘adopted’ as myself – yet never even lived those points for real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire protecting the idea of myself as ‘valuable’ and ‘worthy’ to think that there exists ‘free choice’ and ‘free will’ to ‘choose’ whatever I ‘decide’ to do or not to do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of stability as ‘my ideals’ and defending them with all kinds of justifications and excuses without realizing that none of them are valid or real – as who I am is merely a product of a preprogrammed design that isn’t Life and disregards the point of Equality – I stop believing myself to be the point that I stand for and I stand here as myself as who I really am in Self Honesty: one and equal
Free Will – ‘the power of making choices without the constraint of fate’
Fascinating because Bernard had pointed out to me that I still Believed in Free Will and Free Choice – which I could directly see when reacting to one point in means of ‘standing’ as ‘what I believe is right’ and what I ‘believe’ I am capable or able to ‘decide upon’ – as if my life was ‘my own’ – Always wanting to ‘win’ according to imposing myself as ‘free will’ –
Free will and Free Choice simply Don’t exist at All – there is no ‘power’ to actually make choices because I’ve never done that in Fact – I’ve always existed as a pre-programmed system with pre-programmed apparent patterns that create the Illusion of being ‘deciding’ for myself, or making certain ‘choices’ that lead me to be ‘who I am’ now – I realize that I’ve placed value and worth on those apparent ‘decision’ and ‘choices’ that ‘I made’ during my life, thinking that somehow those decisions and those points where I apparently ‘stood’ for my ‘Ideals’, made me ‘who I am’ now – which isn’t in fact-so. I was merely trying to stand-against the tide, against the will of people around me, stand against of points of Authority yet, fearing to be ‘in danger’ by doing so which then was a complete ‘limited’ form of “standing” as what I believed –which relied on the point of thinking there is Free Will and Free Choice
Within standing as the belief of ‘Free Will’ I mostly stood as being a point that ‘challenges’ whatever I perceive as being imposed to myself – therefore, within standing as the embodiment of Self Righteousness, I would then see Free Will as ‘I can do whatever I see is ‘good’ and I will be ‘right’ – I can decide for myself, I am the ‘owner’ of my life, I am ‘free to decide’ – which has never actually existed in this world in fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there exists ‘Free Will’ in this reality and that I am able to apply my own ‘free will’ in order to ‘do or be’ whatever I see myself as capable of doing within one of my ideas, beliefs and perceptions of ‘who I am’ and what I stand for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in thinking that I have a ‘right’ to defend my ideals which are coming from my own view/perspective that isn’t taking into consideration what Equality is in practical living
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that there exists a single point of ‘free choice’ in this world which I would merely be ‘following’ in means of supporting my idea of self, my own interest, my own ‘life’ –
Genome: the complete set of genetic material of a living organism
I tested out that this is information that is existent within me at a DNA level which I’ve acquired and got transmitted by my parents and so on –
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within and as the idea /concept of Free Will in relation to how my genetic information was imprinted and downloaded into me as a living organism
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ideal of a concept that I considered to be ‘real’ and thus participated and created a point within myself that was still standing as ‘Free Will/Free Choice’ as the ability to ‘choose’ whatever is ‘best for me’ – without questioning this point in its nature according to how this world actually moves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as the belief of ‘Free Will’ and ‘Free Choice’ -within this never clarifying for myself what is it that I am actually ‘defending’ as myself and what does it mean to actually ‘decide’ for myself – which I realize isn’t related to a pre-programmed way of ‘knowing’ what Free Choice is or Free Will is – there exists non of both.
Point in relation to ‘Free will/free choice’ stemming from Self Righteousness:
Junky:’a drug addict’/ ‘a particular fan of an activity’
Within my experience I saw that I had this particular way of always ‘defending’ what I saw was my ‘right to do’ – I would consider such points of ‘defense’ as a way to proclaim my ‘free will’, my ability to ‘manage my world’ according to how I wanted it to be. And I would always try to pull out this point whenever something would come up in my world where my beliefs and actions were challenged by another point.
The word ‘junky’ immediately lead me to seeing how my deliberate ‘choice’ to get myself addicted to something was a way to ‘proclaim’ that I was ‘Free to do whatever I want’, that I could do and say whatever I wanted and ‘wreck’ my life If I decided to – this was mostly as a ‘rebellious’ pattern against my parents specifically.
SO when I decided to engage in the continuous usage of weed, I would often have discussions with people on how we were ‘free’ to do whatever we wanted and be ‘junkies’ because no-one was being affected by it, and I did see it as a point that I had ‘actually’ decided to do for myself – gullibly enough – I saw the embodiment of people within the usage of a drug as ‘exercising’ their free will/free choice to do and drink and consume whatever they wanted because in the end, I would justify it by being ‘the owner of my life’ ‘I’m not affecting anyone, if I fuck up, I will fuck up myself – so what?’ – This was my usual rant and justification for what I was doing – it’s unbelievable that no one around me challenged this positions – and I did allow myself to only be surrounded by people that were supporting me in my own delusion – because we were supporting each other’s delusions and mindfucks.
Also seeing the point that I would deliberately ‘be a fan’ of defending these points of free will/free choice as myself – I would always try and pull this out in people because I thought it to be the ‘right thing’ to ‘claim our rights’ – which was merely placing a commonly-accepted way of justifying anything in this world, which has eventually lead us to the current reality we live in. Unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately deceive myself and others when defending the point of ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ as being able to do and say and consume whatever we want to because ‘we’re free’ to do and be so apparently.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify my habits and addictions based on free will and free choice – without ever taking into consideration the actual fact of having to ‘justify’ myself within everything I do – instead of ever questioning these points of ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ within my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for trying to justify these points of ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ as being an ‘owner’ of my life, which isn’t in fact so – life owns me and I am not yet Living Life – therefore I have no free-choice, no free-will at all.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be around people that convinced me with the point of ‘being able to do whatever we want to’ and justifying it by saying ‘we’re not hurting or damaging anyone’ –
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to be convinced by others that we exist as ‘free will and free choice’ and using this in means of ‘defending’ ourselves from possible reversals to our actions and decisions within our life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify an addiction and convince me that I was merely exerting my ‘free will’ my ‘free choice’ to do whatever I wanted with my life.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘good’ about myself whenever I made ‘use’ of my justification as ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ to be and do ‘whatever I want’ –
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my ideas of Free Will and Free Choice and thinking that I am always able to satisfy my needs/desires and wants as I please – this isn’t so, this is in fact the point that has lead this world to be as it is right now
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the point of existing in ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ and eventually ‘building up’ myself as my ego, my personality as being able to do ‘whatever I want’ and ‘decide’ because ‘I can – I am a free being’
Immolate – to kill or offer in sacrifice –
This is actually an interesting word which I could immediately relate to the Mexican national anthem – and I questioned why we were singing such words that we –as kids for example – couldn’t even understand. So it’s basically the point of ‘what one is determined to do in means of ‘defense’ – I see that the whole structure of the culture is now of ‘defending’ that which is ‘ours’- like basic abstractions as ‘freedom, free will, equality, democracy’ etc which are merely terms often used in political statements to gain people’s response to vote or ‘decide’ –which has never actually existed in fact.
My experience towards this word is that of ‘doing whatever it takes’ to stand as ‘my beliefs’ or ‘what I think is the best for all’ – without even questioning if such ‘rights’, if such ‘free choice’ even existed. It’s now clear that these are mere words that have never been actually lived in this reality. Yet I stood as this point of ‘defending’ myself within the whole construct of myself as ideas, beliefs, perceptions, etc – without ever fully understanding what is it that I was defending – or wanting to impose as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control my life, to have a certainty in which I can ‘rely on’ to then direct myself – within this manipulating everything and all around me to get to this point – instead of seeing that my desire for control creates the complete opposite in my life where nothing will work this way because I’m not standing in the best interest of all and taking all into consideration, but only myself in my own desire for ‘control’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to solemnly defend my ‘rights’ and ‘ideals’ without even questioning where I have acquired them from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a point of ‘rebellion’ against authority, a point of defending myself just for the sake of not ‘submiting’ to another- without realizing that within this I am standing as the point that is required for an Authority to exist –
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually desire an Authority to exist in my world so I can merely ‘follow directions’ instead of accepting myself as this point of Self Direction and not allowing me to believe that there is something that I have to ‘overcome’ but simply to take as myself and direct everything from the constant of Oneness and Equality – taking myself as the point that stands for all in the benefit of all
Pat – tested only two particular lines of the definition:
‘of things said immediately and fluently as if memorized – pat answers’
This is actually an experience that I often have in relation to hearing my own communication towards others – In this definition the word ‘memorized’ stands-out as realizing that point where we exist as knowledge and how within the process of me creating myself as knowledge and going through life acquiring more knowledge to ‘keep building myself’, I accepted certain words and definitions as myself without ever fully living them or understanding them to the core. This then, turned me into a ‘long-winded’ speaker, I could easily perorate information and knowledge when communicating and the starting point of it was simply to get people ‘agreeing’ with me, or ‘respecting’ me for having such ‘bright ideas’ or ‘concepts’ of ‘who I am’ and ‘what I stand for’ – which were merely words fluently and precisely spoken, just as I had acquired them from a certain source– never really understanding what it meant to live such words in real Life.
This indicates how I easily when ‘clicking’ with certain knowledge and information, I would ‘accept it’ as myself and be able to fluently talk about it, discuss about it or even ‘debate’ it with others, often trying to ‘prove others wrong’ which is the point of Self Righteousness.
Within this I implied that what I saw as ‘correct’ as ‘what’s best’ was the ‘right choice’ and that others were always either ‘missing a point’ – ‘missing The Point’ – or completely ‘lost’ because I always tried and made people to agree with my ‘view of Life’, ‘my perspective’ – which is translated into wanting others to agree with me as a construct of knowledge and information that I simply gathered and defined as ‘my own, my self, who I am and what I stand for’ – none of which has ever been real.
So this is an interesting point to look at in terms of how I ‘exercise’ my Self Righteousness when communicating with others – this is a ‘behavior-pattern’ that I can still see within myself – so it is time to fully Stop.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be fully aware of my words when communicating with another and go into an automated-rant of verbalizing words that come from a particular perspective of me trying to ‘make a point’ without taking into consideration if I’m speaking for myself as my ‘idea of self’ or I am speaking and communicating a point within Self Honesty as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having existed as the point that wants to ‘defeat’ another within their opinions, beliefs and perceptions, thinking that by speaking fast and using complicated word-structures, I will end up ‘beating’ another and getting the other person/s to agree with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by using my ‘speech abilities’ I am able to enhance the idea of myself towards others – without realizing that this merely supports myself as an ego that requires others to agree in order to keep existing
I stop my communication when being rushing and or perorating – I breathe here and allow myself to flow as words in common sense – communicating as myself with myself as myself without trying to make a ‘point’ within another in a deliberate position to try and convince or make them agree with me.