I’ve been having to explain already several times the point of shaving my head – I’ve found people that are simply seeing an ‘image’ and ‘beauty’ and all kinds of shit within this point. Some have gotten to contact me through facebook due to all these groups of ‘bald chicks’ which are mostly men that have a particular fetish and want to establish communication because they found it ‘fascinating’ and ‘sexy’ and what the fuck-not. It is really tiring, I simply had to shut-off one guy that was contacting me with many people and set the basics on why we are doing it, that I am Not interested at all in ‘feeding’ his curiosity on ‘how often I shave’, ‘what does it feel’, how he likes girls with no hair and shit like that. So, once again having to be completely blunt to the point of people saying: I’m sorry, i’m not trying to attack you, I’m sorry….
Fuck! People sometimes really need to be settled down to step out of their controlled mind by all these weird fucking likes and fetishes.
Anyways, I know this will get more people to become aware of desteni and what we actually stand for, but I really have to declare and set the points that we are doing it for – otherwise it’s only creating just another fucking beauty-system bullshit. Unacceptable.
So it’s later than usual, it takes a long time to keep track on all the stuff we’re busy with –
I can see that this ‘exposure’ that I am deliberately pushing myself to is actually supporting myself to become even more ‘steady’ within my own process – yet it does require dedication – I see that I still try and do many things at a time – I definitely breath through the tasks but I see some ‘anxiety’ wanting to arise whenever I see ‘too much’ going on, many videos to watch, many subscriptions to make, several friends and emails from fb, people contacting me through that chat, etc.
Anyways – I’ll simply deal with it, I am simply walking the expanding point and the social networking which I simply see I have to direct, to make clear what I’m standing for, what I will accept and allow, what I will NOT accept and allow and that’s the only way i see people actually ‘get’ what one is about, they stop ‘fucking around’, even ‘excuse’ themselves and one push them to go see for themselves instead of asking about desteni being a fucking cult and whatnot.
Seriously: People Do-NOT Understand or Fathom what Equality Implies – so I’ll upload a video I made two days ago tomorrow –
Anyways – went downtown to have some food and coffee with my friend, he’s busy developing a reading workshop for kids that live in poor zones of the city, to simly induce them to read and expand the possibilities within their world instead of just plugging into the tv or even worse relying on drugs and whatnot – Fuck, I mean yes from 11 years old kids get addicted – I bet that average age goes even lower every year.
Went to the mall today, one of those ‘fancy’ ones simply to get a ticket for a concert in october – as I was waiting for my mother to get to the car, policemen started rounding and looking weird at me, lol – At first I thought it was funny, well i tend to not stay in one place and wandered around the parking lot but obviously no-one does that in that place, everyone rather spends the time at the shops – so, some policemen and some other people that take care of the parking lot stopped by the car where i was wandering around until one policeman asked me: are you looking for someone ? I simply replied I was waiting for my mother – I really wanted to curse at him and say what is your fucking problem!? you are surrounding me and keeping and eye on me as if I was going to fucking steal the car! – But saw it as unnecessary as they are simply doing their job and they are quite programmed to re-act whenever they see something out of their ‘parameters’ – lol. Quite an experience, I’ve had experiences like these before in my life, fuck they can’t see people moving around in circles on a parking lot because: they freak out and think I’m about to steal a car or commit some ‘vandalism’ – oh yes… that’s what we get from living under ‘the war on drugs’ and the fight for health and what the fucknot that’s being implanted as the ultimate struggle of the government to keep organized crime under control LOL! it’s already out of fucking control – cities on the north of mexico are already dead at 9 pm, like an unspoken curfew due to the drug cartels taking over the city – and this has been going on more often every time, even in big cities like Monterrey which is one of the wealthiest cities in this country and most developed – well, guess what? people are already living in fear there as well.
Fear spreads – and thus ‘love’ is presented as an answer to those that fear to accept the facts of that which is inevitable, which is to see the creation of our own self-abuse in a generalized way.
‘making a living’ seems a ‘far fetched’ thing here –
I mean, it is seriously unacceptable that people are actually wanting to be acknowledged by their ‘wealth’ – to me that would be the ultimate declaration of being abusing another in the name of personal glory – but no one dares to see it this way – because everyone actually exists in that constant desire to ‘escalate’ their status in this circus called ‘life’ –
Yes at downtown – fucking candidates to be governors and presidents’ campaigns were ‘closing’ today – they bring music that the populous like, they bring ‘artists’ that people wanna see and hear, they give away water, tshirts, and all kinds of shit – they rent cars with huge billboards that go around the area with the huge face of a fucker that will surely steal your money – Elections are on sunday – and the fear of people not voting is so great that they are promoting ‘underwater’ that if you prove that you voted, you can have some discount in some shops or restaurants or whatnot – I can’t even comment on this anymore, this is simply one little example on how filthy everything politics is here, I’m sure there are even worse things obviously but this is just to give an idea of how corruptible people are here – and we ‘complain’ about a ‘corrupt government’ lol I mean, let’s fucking see ourselves first.
Fuck! I bet I am appearing as angry here though I was quite stable within it all, I mean – these things aren’t ‘new’ – the abuse in the name of ‘power’ has always existed – as my friend said, the ‘rome’ thing still applies on giving ‘circus’ to the populous to keep them happy and to make them ‘vote’,
And then there’s a movement being initiated to not celebrate the ‘independence day’ on september – lol – I wanna see how many people actually stop from using another day that is the ‘perfect’ excuse to get drunk, eat a lot, shout, burn fireworks and not going to work due to all of the above accepted activities on those two days.
I saw a huge building being constructed in the ‘new rich area’ of this city – I bet it’s from some drug dealer, a ‘narco’ as we call them – I’ve heard they are living in this city, lol – oh god.
Anyways, on ‘other news’ there was an earthquake in a contiguous state from where I live in, it was around 2;30 in the morning and I felt nothing – my parents did and freaked out – so … once again, cool that I ‘die well’ when I go to sleep –
There have been earthquakes in canada, chile and now here again – well here it’s actually a common area for earthquakes – not to mention that I live 80 km away from a volcano – so yea that’s kind of ‘ordinary’ yet, this doesn’t stop here – hurricane on the rio bravo on the limit with the US is expected or already there – then there’s the gulf of mexico oil spill which according to what I’ve read and seen all over is far worse than ever expected and it seems to be ‘irremediable’ as there’s an actual rift on the bottom of the ocean according to some russian guys that have been able to use submarines to see this.
So, dead is here – I can’t deny that when seeing how filthy and rotten everything seems, i can’t wait for a major cleansing to take place – It is the ‘least’ we could do, to give our fucked up lives for the sake of Life to be actually born here – from a fresh new start if possible – everywhere you see there’s some form of self abuse – and I simply have to breathe through it – I mean, yes I can stop judging people when the thoughts want to creep in yet, that doesn’t change the fact of what they are doing with themselves,of how they are living, of what they are expressing themselves at, of what they are being taught, of what they are being indoctrinated for. I notice myself just making a ‘bigger emphasis’ on the my breath whenever the mind goes ‘off’ mostly to bring back ‘nice memories’ so that I don’t have to ‘face’ the actual reality in that moment when seeing the actual shit around here –
So – I’ve decided due to all this that I am exerting out of myself here, not to re-create the same shit I see outside in the inside of myself, I deliberately place myself even more ‘out there’ until no reaction comes out, until I can simply exist here, see the points and just keep walking – that’s what I’ve done but this writing is showing me that I am creating a point of anger which is quite a self-honest expression when being seeing first hand what the fuck is going on in this world, all around, everywhere. I am still ‘seeing’ it only – that must be clarified.
This would seem the great panorama of the end times – death would be a mercy for everyone that is suffering greatly in this world -for all animals that are dying in the hands of men due to the greed for oil as money – earth has said: you want oil? There’s your fucking oil and drown in it – and so, as these event develop we will see how long it will take for people to wake up.
In the meantime, we stand, we support, we are here and this is what we live for.
thanks for reading and – enjoy breathing the oxygen that is readily available here.