More on children

So, interesting points opening up in the ‘parenting’ thread on the forum http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=154&t=17842 and this mostly came from a second time spent with this 7 year old kid from the states ‘K’ and going out for dinner with his mother and grandmother. 

I had fun! lol just because he was there, I laughed a lot talked about star wars specifically on jar jar binks, singing the darth vader song lolol, littering done by people, sprite, cotton candy, ice cream, equal money, self-harm, milk and his secret revealing he’d been given some coffee by some white guy taller than me – lol. Anyways – it was cool and we had our own ‘communication’ going on while adults couldn’t keep-up with our interesting conversations – It was cool when I think it was my ‘mother’ that asked him what he’d like the most while mexico so far and he hesitated to say anything and thus simply pointed at me and told his mother in a ‘secretive’ way: ‘talking to her’  – lol which I simply said, hey that’s cool I enjoy talking to you as well – but then he felt ‘ashamed’ of telling everyone for whatever reason – then his grandmother associated that he might’ve had a crush on me or whatever to what I simply replied that we simply enjoy communicating with each other – I mean he is a kid come on you grown ups! why do they have to always associate everything to that – fuck-up. 
Anyways we were talking and I could notice he’s already got this modus-vivendus with his mother wherein they have established qutie an equal point, and thus are playful yet respectful to each other – but then still the mothering comes out at times – For example he wanted to make continuous sounds like ‘indians’ do you know with the hand covering the mouth and emitting a constant sound and see who ‘won’ to do that the longest to what I replied that we should consider not making too much noise as people were chatting on the table – and he completely understood and thus suggested to do it ‘quietly’ lol -and then I said, okay I’ll do it but I’m not up for ‘winning’ anything, I simply do it for the fun of it, I don’t require to ‘win’ to have fun, I’m not really into playing win-lose games – he pondered for a second and then said ‘yeah me neither, I’m not so much into it’ and thus understood that there is no need to ‘gamble’ anything to have fun, or win/lose which is the basic programming in kids’ games and thus always playing for a polarity instead of just enjoying whatever’s being played for the sake of it. 
Well, when going back to discussing the Equal Money System he completely gets it, how we have placed value upon things that come from the earth without having to give any money – he said that everyone should be able to have food because he had noticed how some didn’t have food and thus they didn’t have a cool life – So I clarified that the Equal Money System is the way to solve this situation and that it’s the only solution to give everyone equally, to this he definitely agreed upon and thus continued sharing some other stuff as well as going back to our previous chat on ‘littering’ on the street by people, on self-harm and other topics related to how within taking care of the environment, we take care of ourselves and vice-versa – if we do harm on to another, we harm ourselves. It’s also cool how he ‘absorbs’ the words when shared specifically, kids are really cool in this and so it’s quite obvious I mean if they get to be programmed by a tv to talk like the tv, then discussing with common-sensical parents, beings or friends or people will simply enable them to get used to actually communicating and thus live and express themselves accordingly taking into consideration what they say not from an immediately pre-programmed way but actually starting to become aware of what they are implying when speaking .
I also explained the point of TV instead of saying ‘Don’t watch too much tv’ I shared how if I was his age I would probably spend a lot more time outside playing because I spent too much time watching tv and thus gave-away my childhood while getting to memorize songs and music videos from MTV – yes I was 7/8 when I began all that – pff anyways so he got the point and shared how he actually does that while there’s still sunlight, going away with his scooter so I said that’s quite cool. I also said I didn’t like his fav tv channel ‘Disney Channel’ and that I preferred watching documentaries or these programs where people travel around the world in different cities – but yeah even that I haven’t done in a while – anyways. 
So, fascinating to explain the process of how things are built, created – eg cotton candy, cotton tshirts, coffee – lol – I noticed how when speaking about ‘serious topics’ he simply expresses himself like a ‘grown up’ meaning his voice tonality, his posture, he speaks in a very self-aware way that is quite impressive for a 7 year old so I definitely enjoyed looking at how he can be completely playful and normal kid yet when talking about serious topics he takes on this role as being completely ‘here’ on what he’s sharing and listening to. 
That was it with regards to him and enjoying communicating with this kid – I can see that the reason we enjoyed talking is because there is no pre-conceived ideas upon each other -we share upon what we may like in common (establishing the ground with kids) then simply going on to topics that concern all humans as equals. 
So, that’s another cool point with regards to communication – before I would find it rather ‘difficult’ to find a point of conversation with people, mostly if they were ‘family friends’ and so on, but from the moment I got into the matrix and spent time in germany, I felt very comfortable just going alone with them and talking about general topics on their lives, country and experience of the world and themselves – before in time I would take the role as being the ‘youngest member’ of the family and thus not ever really communicating with them – I had been limiting myself according to how I saw my family communicated with these people as to something they can ‘relate to’ people they know etc – so I enjoyed just placing the communication here as another human being regardless of the ‘bond’ or anything else  – also when communicating with kids there how they openly invited me to play with them and asking questions on who I was and what I was doing there in their house lolol – the same with my 7 year old cousin in germany, lol enjoying playing ball and discussing matters of responsibility and laughing, walking together, going to the park, helping him solve his video-game with puzzles, watching him play soccer and talking about new dogs in mexico that I hadn’t met due to not having been there in one year – lol – yet I did see a lot of anger repressed in him due to his parental authority which is ‘excessive’ from my perspective – pf that’s a whole nother deal, the clashing of the ways of my aunt who is mexican and the father who is german – well my aunt is now more german than mexican but I could see she does submit to the father’s standards on what must be done and how it must be done in an excrutiating non-pliable schedule for activities, sleeping-time and any other activity – most of it was strictly scheduled rarely changed or altered. I could see his anger when they said he was a ‘fool’ because he’d forgotten his soccer shoes when having a match that day and thus he’d have to wear his regular tennis shoes and slip on the grass – he was sad, angry and frustrated – he told me how he would get really angry upon his parents and has obviously from now told them that he will get out of his house the moment it’s his turn to go to ‘college’ or anything similar, how he will have pets (he is dying to get a dog or cat and parents simply don’t want that at all) and how he will be very happy that way – which is obviously a demonstration of how oppressive behavior as relentless and asphyxiating schedules result in anger compounded, resentment and overall desire to rebel from the authority – 
If we give the ability to ‘drive themselves’ within principles, they will eventually realize their own fuck-ups and correct themselves not from the starting point of following ‘dad’ or ‘mom’s rules’ but from actually seeing it for themselves – how else can we learn if it’s not by ‘making mistakes’ – it generates that point of ‘trauma’ that creates an imprinted reminder of what to do and what not to do, what needs to stop being repeated and so on from a first-hand experience. Otherwise, a usual point of ‘learning’ can become a simple traumatic even where the anger and rage against parents can become more imprinted and ‘memorable’ than the fact to remember to put the ‘soccer shoes’ inside the bag when he’s got a soccer match next time – that’s a simple example taken on again. 
Okay, that’s it for now on kids and my realizations when being with just a few of them. 
Thanks
Marlen

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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