This-cowardice – discouragement – dis-may: this-may assist

Discouragement only comes when we allow ourselves to be blinded by the veil, instead of pushing for the veil to come off

We can only allow ourselves to be discouraged by this reality when we define ourselves as incapable of standing one and equal to it
A ‘difficulty’ if it’s not an actual physical experience, it’s only a mind-fuck that is preserved in means of remaining as a personality treat that is defined by such ‘difficulty’. 
I had some interesting comments from people trying to prove their need to be different, to continue smoking weed, some others thanking for ‘being an inspiration’ to stop but finding it difficult to actually let go – how many times have I heard the words: ‘ I want to stop, but I can’t – I know I have to stop, but it’s hard to let go’ – it is obviously ‘hard’ in the beginning when we are deeply ingrained within the ‘who we are’ and stuff like that. Self Will seems to be a rather opaque concept for most of the people that are mostly pushed to act a certain ways which is predefined by the rules of this same word/society and disguising it as ‘your will’, ‘your decision’, ‘your choice’ – all severe brainwash baths that we are constantly soaked in within this world. 
Breath, stability here, a constant-diligent application is the only way to get through this- any single allowance and you are playing the game again. 
We have to become actual totalitarians – accept no middle ways – lol fascinating how people speak from dogmas themselves, they fear and tag words concerning equality, totalitarism, control, order, all now first filtered through the knowledge and information of this world as history, as a pre-established concept that everyone feels they have the right to ban and dismiss just like that, without even daring to ‘strip’ the word and see it for what it is, regardless of its use in previous contexts and movements. This is too part of how we have been indoctrinated. 
We are instilling fear on to another based on our history, without realizing that by doing that very single point, we are enhancing our probability to repeat the same cycles again. ‘Stopping’ the participation within all of these system-games seems to be rather something ‘robotic’ for people that don’t grasp the fact that everything is backwards and that one is a robot when pushed around to react in some chemical-chain-reactions upon evoking memories, hearing a noise, smelling something . seeing a particular image somewhere – pff when we become aware of every single detail on how it works, lol, it’s quite mad yet we are here and best is to obviously not support the same game but stay in it, participate in common sense and not to be taken for a ride by a self-created internal delusion on how one perceives it to be. 
Yes, catastrophes in the world – more and more prominent – we knew it would be this way all along I mean, what else could we expect after all the time we’ve disregarded life? I am quite surprised we are still alive and getting water out of our taps and breathing somewhat ‘clean air’ – yet, part of walking in this world in this stage is to face the consequences and simply live everyday, doing what we can individually for now to install an opening point that hasn’t been considered before – equality for all- so simple yet so small within the minds of the fellow men – fell- oh! man! 
I breathe whenever I see an energetic reaction coming, deeply, let go and forgive the point , for simple that it might seem – single thought, even if it seems okay at first, I know if I leave it pass, it will come around to hunt back. Part of standing up, is to let go, of all that we’ve become, so that we can stand clear and leave the dream of the illusion up in the head and finally live just here. Part of standing up is leaving behind the idea that living is ‘feeling’ – part of standing up is not being able to be defeated by a global calamity such as corporations, governments, your boss, your parents, your neighbors, your mates, your enemies lol – calamity – we call-amnesty to forgive all the debt and free us from the reigns of ‘power’ and doom that we’ve shaped created for ourselves as the rooms that we keep for our own ‘choice’ to be lived. 
I say that some words rhyme, not that it’s intentional but it’s simply a crime not to rhyme when the reason for flowing along is just coming without a hold – 
My sister called to say she’s pregnant, she had ‘warned’ me about this and even asked for my opinion – opium- about her decision to get pregnant this year. This exchange of ‘opiums’ happened when I was in south africa where I obviously explained I saw no point of bringing a child into this world and that if she was going to do it anyways, she had to realize the responsibility it entails. She obviously went for it, and now she’s jumping off the walls of how happy it is for her and everyone to know that there will be more descendants of the species that is this blood-mixture of family as the information that will be encrusted in the new being. Fuck, a new being into this fucked up world is what I thought after I hung-up the phone – I couldn’t pretend to be happy, nor did it ‘shock’ me, it’s just like talking about the weather and that was it – I do realized I forcefully said in a rather monotonous way ‘congratulations’ – CON-gratefulness that came out of my mouth and I realized that I had compromised myself to say that, but anywho, it’s cool because she knows my perspective therefore she ‘understands’ my position.  Fascinating because I had been at her office in my father’s business office and saw how she left of the place before she decided that it was time to take a rest wherein she simply made the plan, to get pregnant in some time. Now it’s done – pff. Well, they do have the money to sustain the child, although how fucked up that is the first thing I think of when knowing about a child being born into this world, another one – and well, my mother has this ‘shine’ on her eyes once again, it’s all she had been waiting for, just a grandson and her biological purpose would be completed, descending up to a second generation, the desire of human perpetuation. Fascinating – human systems – all life, all business. 
So we’ll see how this goes. I saw some pictures on a family album of the trip to germany, I looked rather happy being there with that people in those places, in those old cold farm houses and the vast green areas surrounding it – remembered just going outside of the house and running to jump on the elastic bed which was wet with petals on it, felt like a kid being excited because of the rain having just passed by, getting my socks wet and having to dry them in the heater inside. lol. Then eating cakes, drinking coffee and going to see the horses after the kuchen-fest. I really enjoyed talking to people, very open, kind and gleeful. Awkward for germans I’d say lol, maybe it’s the peaceful south – had fun even when being alone just walking in the quiet streets, seeing people bike-riding with the breeze of the summer at 8:00 with nice sunshine glowing in the air – wishing I could live in a place like that – that’s what created the initial shock on coming back here, but hey I am getting ‘used’ to it, just once again re-installing all the usual fuckedupness around here. People complain on tv, everyone seems completely discouraged, simply wanting to throw themselves on fire to not have to face this. lol. that’s what might happen in the end, but for now we breath and walk, and write it all out till no word is left out. 
I enjoyed singing a song that has no words, just breath-ful sounds that seemed to be bound to a  yearn for the uproar to finally cease the undeniable mock. 
Enjoy – thanks for reading – time to die in bed for another day which is already here as time is simply light and dark and the middle-tones in-between – I bet you won’t win when trying to escape the reality that is here – sleep till you dream and you encounter that your fears were never real. 
Aha! cool video by Tala fear is not real:


About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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