I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a constant fear of loss of that which I’ve allowed myself to define myself as my world currently
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a constant background preoccupation about people around and them using ‘my stuff’ properly and not creating a mess of it all around
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing something without realizing that I have simply accepted the ‘ownership’ of something through money itself thus existing in separation within myself by having present this point of ownership on to personal things within the excuse of ‘I have paid for it/ I take care of it/ I use it properly’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create thoughts of people messing ‘my things’ up and creating a problem which is defined as that which keeps me constantly bound to the mind
So today I was talking with one of my house mates and getting some inside info on how the money that’s been used to renew downtown center in Mexico city is actually being given by the richest man of the world which is Carlos Slim and well I ended up saying how we are a nation that doesn’t really stand out for working together and supporting each other, but the other way around basically, just caring for one’s own interest and only wanting to do what’s best for each one. He was pointing out the two potential candidates for the presidency on 2012 and both are very very fucked up in terms of being completely driven by their greed and desire for more power. One of them has got connections with drug dealers and is even protected by them, that’s the type of governors we have in Mexico and a governor is simply a reflection of the nation obviously – selfish greedy, individualistic beings living in constant fear of each other – I shared how it is similar in other parts of the world but, definitely here the current situation in terms of also the ability to express freely in media is being tampered – proof is that lots of journalists are being killed forcing them to write editorials directed towards drug cartels and asking them bluntly ‘What do you want from us?’ – I got this from a report on these journalists that lost one of their colleagues, he wasn’t even investigating anything related to drug cartels, it was simply a point of exerting their ‘power’ and get some attention for something else – how nice, they don’t use any video-recording or placing death threats but basically kill a journalist to get the press’ attention. Fucked up, this happens in the north of Mexico, the infamous Ciudad Juarez the place where authority-figures created their best past-time hobby of killing young girls after kidnapping them, raping them and tossing them dead in a valley. No one ever said anything about it because it involved uncovering the authorities involved in this point – thus every time something needs to be told, the authority shuts everything down.
Something similar happened with the uncovering story of the governor of my ‘home city’ that is a pederast and likes to have sex with little girls – there have been definitive recordings of him and he’s denied them all and played a trial on the journalist woman that uncovered the whole story – she now has to live with constant death threats because she’s in a catch 22 situation – it’s her against the government though she can’t be killed because it would be far too obvious at this stage, she had the balls to stand up nonetheless.
I got a chain email with yet another story about the Abuse of Power where influential fucking bastard fuckers that employ indigenous people for their household cleaning abuse of them. One fucker abused his employee’s child while she was out of the house, he raped him and he even took the child to the hospital, he paid the fucking lame ass doctors to keep quiet, to heal the kid and then kick the woman and the child out and send them back to their place of origin. The fucker that abused the child is the owner of a newspaper in Chiapas, a state here in Mexico – and thus I really really felt impotent once again, after all the abuse that I’ve been hearing about, reading about and it’s all because of FUCKING MONEY! that people like this bastard are Not in Jail or even better sentenced to die in an electric chair, just because they shit money and thus can buy anyone that is willing to be sent out of the country and keep quiet on telling the truth. This really broke my beingness here it is just unacceptable to say the least it is sickening to the bottom of my guts. And just the thought of event like these happening every single day in this world is even more frightening, it is disgusted, it’s what we’ve become. I applied Self Forgiveness as the man for having abused the kind and get away with murder just because of having money, but really, this has to stop, Justice has to be made somehow and that will only be Life itself. Abuse and rape are one of the most vile things a human being can do on to another, it is beyond ‘demon’-attitudes, it is beyond scum, it is nameless really
And so I have to simply exert this out – like some guy commented in spanish in my recent video Speak up! Abuse of Power & Authority and how I had to let the rage out otherwise it would ‘harm’ me – so no, I don’t create further point of ‘rage’ and ‘anger’ as an energetic experience, it is simply me becoming the point of speaking it out – and I haven’t yet shared the point of abuse of children or the recent experience my friend shared with me with regards to cops trying to get a hold of him to rob him or kidnap him or whatever.
Pff okay this is it for now