October 29, 2010
So – within making such a definitive statement of standing for All Life as One and Equal and making a definitive Life-long statement of committing ourselves to Equality, to Live this Process fully, to stand for What’s Best for All, to be definitive and congruent in our words and living actions is quite a ‘powerful’ point that we stand as and thus demonstrate to ourselves how it IS possible to stop the patterns we’ve lived as for so long, how it IS possible to quit some addiction from one day to another just by Standing as a Self Willed being.
I had these type of remarks today when sharing with this guy more on my process and the points I’ve stopped and the relationships, and the points I’ve walked through with regards to studying art, to being in a specific type of family, specific type of friends, confronting my past again while being in this Process and so forth – I can say that while reviewing this points I can see how much I am not ‘marlen’ any more as ‘who I used to be’ yet I am here and I was ‘that’ as well – it is simply that I am not limiting myself to be ‘only that’ and I am expanding myself, directing myself to embrace more points and get to know how people are what they are, why they do what they do, how we can communicate, how to break the usual social-barriers that disable the ability to communicate.
While communicating again with a person directly on Process topics in spanish and without so much ‘background’ on the person I can see how unconditional we have to be to actually communicate – we as human beings are used to hearing words, attaching values to every word according to our own experience and in that single automated process, people can drift off into meanings that weren’t originally intended. Thus, it’s been quite cool to take on the point of talking because I have noticed today more than 3 times I didn’t have the words to speak in the moment I was ‘blank’ fully – I remember this would happen at the farm and I associated it with not having the word in english – I had a ‘hard time’ getting myself to be understood or even be eloquent in my speaking point at the farm, lol I experienced it as having a wiped-structure of how I used to speak english before wherein I would structure the point of communication and then exert it out through speaking, now I got that with Spanish and that’s an indicator that I have to speak more, meaning communicate in reality and this point has just opened up from yesterday and so it’s cool to be sharing myself like this with someone that didn’t get to know the ‘old me’ and is simply listening Here in the moment, no previous background.
It’s fascinating to see how within my process sharing I may still have doubts with regards to my future specific activity but I’ve the certainty of the Principle I am standing as and will live for the rest of my existence – that is definitely SO and that certainty is the point that I have to actually make REAL by taking decisions. Today the thought of having to go creating a plan on what comes next after art school has to be made and developed, yet right now I’m getting filled with tasks, final jobs for next month while basically teachers just want to ‘get over with it’ as well. THat’s our current education system definitely, very few teachers I’ve met in this school that are truly willing to compromise their self interest to actually share their life experience, their practical lived points within what they teach and then supporting the educational process – some others really are simply there because it represents an obvious stability point that they don’t want to let go off and that they are already too old to get kicked out of it just because of the ‘recognition’ they’ve gotten by being good workers for the system – pff that’s how the holds of the enslavement are kept in place everywhere, same point with different ‘colors’ and ‘scenario’ –
Okay, I spent a lot of time sitting and watching stuff so I have to actually rest today. THanks