Hi I wanna share the dream that I had last night, I went to bed quite early – well maybe still adjusting to the new time here and thus going an hour earlier to bed- anyways, I woke up and later on I remembered how I had this dream wherein I saw Sunette and I was probably at the farm or somewhere with here and I was really really really glad to see her and I was hugging here and walking together with our arms on each other’s shoulder and I remember very well the thoughts in such moment as having a ‘special connection’ with Sunette and so on.
So, this revealed also a point wherein I came up with the thought of ‘oh I am friends with Sunette, I am ‘important’ or something like that you know? Like oh I hang out with her lolol sounds so funny when I write it down but yeah that type of ‘me being cool and superior because I have a ‘special bond’ with her’ which isn’t actually so, in the dream we were like really glad to be with one another and having fun just being together again –
When I was at the farm I did create a cool communication with her – and the beings in the portal and as I say ‘beings in the portal’ beings like AA and Lilly were amongst the ones that I enjoyed the most, specially AA
as she was the one in the body for quite a long period of time until the time I left and I cried when hugging her goodbye awww such a moment lolol well I breathe just now to release that memory with such ‘energetic charge’ because it’s probably something that I just made out as an experience because we’re always Here and everything is HERE so, that was it.
I still sometimes daydream about the farm, mostly when seeing the videos made there and the new animals and so forth, yet I can say that when I was ‘there’ I was ‘fully there’ and enjoying every moment, with all the ups and downs and twists I experienced there – which were quite varied in nature – and thus coming back to the dream, I can see Sunette represented that point of self enjoyment that I got to be and experience at the farm, the actual ‘beingness’ and expression in simplicity and how cool it simply is to be walking with beings like here one and equal within this Process. It’s quite interesting because we get to see Sunette quite a lot in Desteni material
but it’s definitely not the same as being with her as the being and actually communicating, people focus a lot on what they see on their screens and I can assure that actually living with the beings at Desteni would shut-down several people’s thoughts on Desteni and people within Desteni because it takes real guts to live this Process fully and completely, it takes real courage to commit your life to be an Interdimensional Portal, lol people really have no clue of what that actually IS as ‘who you are’ on a daily basis, at all times – fascinating yet a lot of responsibility entailed.
So, that’s some words on her, just ‘some’ really, someday you will be able to see for yourself what I mean.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have secret mind thoughts in my dream revealing to me the belief that I have upon having a ‘special relationship’ with Sunette in any way whatsoever – we are equals and as thus we stand as equals
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for wanting to be ‘recognized’ as ‘being friends with Sunette’ in my dream, which reveals the secret mind thoughts about the specialness and value placed on to her as ‘special’ yet I realize we are all Equals here and thus i stand one and equal as her in process and make sure I actually commit myself equally to walking and living here
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to miss that point of ‘self-enjoyment’ that I had at the farm amongst sunette and everyone else there, I am here and I am able/capable of enjoying myself no mattering ‘with whom’ and ‘how’ or the context thereof.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a point of ‘nostalgia’ when looking at the dream and how ‘happy’ I was in the dream which is all make-belief because it is an idealization of a ‘ perfect moment’ yet not ‘here’ at all as it was based on an experience which has a beginning and an end, and thus, not real as myself here.
So this dream was supportive in allowing me to see the points I’ve separated myself with and caught with some delusions of grandeur, lol – nonetheless, we did have cool times together and that’s all I’ll share :=)
Okay, so! theres this pain that I had at the farm actually about a year ago exactly, it’s on the left foot, expression, I remember I got feedback upon this having to do with female-expression as well so I’ll dig the point because it is fascinating that I got this pain just now that I went to the door and yes I remember how I would wake up and get the pain on my left foot when walking on the foot plant – it was a constant nagging pain that lasted for several weeks – yep, mostly when waking up and I had to sort out that one myself, I did because it went away so maybe I have to look at points that I might be timelooping within.
I have also noticed a LOT of discomfort when being in the city, I went out today to the museum and sometimes I really just have to kind of stretch myself although it doesn’t go away, discomfort all over the body as if my bones hurt or as If my body and muscles were sore, not cool and once I am here at home it’s fine, sometimes slight headaches or heaviness is experienced as well, sometimes just when being in the bus – pains pains pains and so I simply breathe, sometimes I do massage myself in the moment like my arm or shoulder, pff
It was the day of the dead here -día de muertos – and so I had no school and decided to continue my recent visit to an art exhibition that I’ll explain below in more detail. I was able to get there in one hour, great! no work, no school and the city is enjoyable in terms of traffic – but then again there was a Lot of people everywhere downtown in mexico city pff, waves and waves of people altogether seeking a way to escape from routine. I went for the second time to finish my visit to José Clemente Orozco
‘s work retrospective – awesome man, awesome artist, all topics depicting the abuse of power, greed, religion, a social revolution required, the industrialization and civilization – all topics are a great big ‘fuck you’ to those that sought a nationalistic-nice view of mexico – It is impressive to say the least of how he managed to overcome the art-system, did sell himself to the system as he got paid and still paint great walls that depict the lies that the system itself presents as ‘truths’, making a more than ‘open’ mockery to the government, the elite, the military, priests and religious head-masters and the general abusers that existed at his time – and surprisingly enough still happen to be the same- fascinating really. It gets me inspired to be able to see the proof that it is possible to speak up to express and be creative all at once, and on top of that get maximum exposure – it shows me that probably a lot has been already said but that there are new ways to explore on how to express the discontent we are living in this world. I spent around 6 hours in total in that museum -or more -it is vast, extensive collection and I did a cool exercise which was writing what I saw within the paintings and thus actually communicating with what I saw as myself, also seeing that in fact no ‘evolution’ has ever existed, but only the pictures change and the environment change but the essence of it all it’s still the same god-damned thing-
I found this point fascinating and it’s quite interesting because when I was in paint workshop 3 years ago my teacher suggested me to look at Orozco’s work more in depth, I didn’t listen, I thought he was just pointing out yet another ‘cliche’ of mexican art – oh how wrong was I – lol in fact I saw quite a lot of similarities of topics and drawings and that constant social-demand expressed on paintings, fascinating, like the lines of people I started drawing, see the same lines in Orozco’s work – I began making that without knowing Orozco’s actual body of work and thus cool to meet the similarities which indicates, yes lol I was creating a form of protest through painting without being aware of it – or the constant flames I would paint, war-like, chaotic and apocalyptic scenarios, priests, crosses, lines of people as slaves in a tormented city – all of those are similar points to his entire work.
Anyways, it was very cool to go and see this work and even more so because a lot of people is visiting that exhibition and the explanation they get from the museum personnel is definitely directed to create awareness on what he is saying within his paintings, and to see how our reality hasn’t changed from 70-50 years ago – it’s still the same shit but revolted. He dared to paint frescoes on the walls of the national high school building – which is where the exhibition is taking place – with several square meters of his paintings about the polarization of man between the poor and the rich that he presents as snotty, between religions, the military and the people that actually work – lots of Marxism there as well as they were communists – he wasn’t so much of a revolutionary in action as Siqueiros was, more of a constant detractor, rejector and critique for the establishment at all times.
Suggest you google some of his paintings, here’s one that i lolled when looking at the first time: christ destroying his cross, fascinating, this same topic is taken on a couple of times in his worlk, awesome, not the best image out there but works –
Christ Destroying his Cross (1943) – José Clemente Orozco