How deluded as humanity have we become – and I cannot see myself celebrating anything in this world as there is nothing to celebrate but instead recognize the disgrace that we’ve created as humanity – not only today disregarding a reality that suffers – but every single day of this existence
I mean here in Mexico the point is everywhere – you go to buy some food and ou get to know that people in ‘holidays’ work till late hours just to satisfy the buyer’s greedy needs I mean, I still remember when some stores would close early or not open at all in past years or when I was small, they were literal kind of more quiet days whereas now it is definitely just everyone going bezerk on buying food and tons of meals that are definitely NOT required to eat all in one single evening I mean who the fuck came up with the idea of having to cook these massive amounts of food for a fucking dinner!!! it’s like ‘so special’ because it’s people opportunity in a year to feel like a fucking king just spilling food and overeating and drinking and dressing up etc. It’s plain to see how people that get their ‘extra end of year money’ spend it all in gifts and dinners and parties and whatnot that is related to the ‘holidays’ – so it’s then plain to see how more opportunities for people to embark themselves on more debt through the ‘new year’ is here. I mean I saw how they sell toys with monthly payments, so imagine: you buy your child the toys he/she wants and you pay them throughout the entire year to finish paying in december where you will then simply repeat the same operation and embark yourself or ensure your debt for the following year. And all because of wanting to preserve a belief in children of some ‘santa claus’ or the three wise men/kings bringing toys. I mean when I was a child I was kind of considerate to not ask too much because my parents would let me know like ‘hey you know, they have to buy toys for many kids so don’t ask too much ok’ so then I would ‘consider’ –within my then child-mind – all the kids that would have to get toys and I would then not over-do myself in my list, yet it was obvious how there was even like this competition of the parents like my aunts and uncles to give ‘the best toys to their children’ so that the next day we would be chit-chatting on what we got and so the parents would know what we had gotten and thus compare their gifts to that which others have given to their children. Fucked up! lol since when did we as humanity allow to create such bullshit beliefs of gifts/things representing ‘how much we care for another’ – man! only in a capitalist system can that exist. Pff! it’s really extensive and expensive shit!
I walked past the supermarket, endless rows of cars trying to park in and I didn’t even dare to take a look inside but I can almost picture endless queues to pay. I mean, pff whenever I see someone having to be working within such stores filled with people, man it really bothers me, all I want is that nightmare to end for them, one really has to become almost robotic to deal with such ways of living
And I could go on and on now taking on the point of what we listened through that interview about the money point in how kids that are born in misery and suffering don’t know anything else, they’ve never known what is it like to be supported, to be fed three times a day, to have some parents caring for them, to live with proper sanitation measures like drinking water, sewage, a proper toilet, a sink and sop to wash their hands. I mean cholera is spreading now in haiti and trinidad y tobago more and more and if you see the conditions the people are living in, there is no wonder WHY the fuck such viruses are coming there – and Man, all I can say is that I do support that these people die if their suffering is simply unnecessary and this system is not changing in any time soon. I mean, how come other Human Beings can be existing in such conditions while in the rest of the world there are people firing up fireworks that cost fucking tons of money just to celebrate a fucking day! I mean dates, years wtf! who cares!!! Care about being part of a solution, of regarding another as yourself, of daring to look outside your bubble!! Man, people that preach love and light lolol imagine the pope giving his ‘love message’ within the vatican in one of the richest places and states of the entire planet. WTF! and people are so fucking brainwashed believing words!!!
It’s so easy to simply look away, people do not want to see, they don’t want to ‘ruin their party’ like my family and yes I was looking at that point like, their entire ‘life motivation’ is based on being able to achieve their ideal lifestyle and live well and have their comfort and improve themselves within the social standards, that’s it – yes they apparently ‘work with themselves’ and try to be ‘good people’ yet when it comes to seeing the reality in this world, they simple lower their heads as being ashamed of what exists in this world - yet obviously not being willing to give up anything to actually support this.
This also reminds me of the people that see us in youtube or somewhere else and go like yeah! good luck you guys! as if they weren’t human beings that would be actually willing to start speaking up and sharing and standing up for themselves – pff no wonder we got the politicians we got now I mean, no one really wants to take such responsibility – and those that apparently want to do so is in fact only money-based wherein they simply want to escalate to the highest position not to be the highest point of authority and executing what’s best for all, lol! nope, it’s only to escalate in their wages and benefits within the system. I mean fuck, just to give you an idea – the amount of money that someone in the senate here in mexico is around three times MORE than what an average minimum-salary worker earns in ONE YEAR.
Man! I really had to just walk some time to really kind of let go of having to be explaining process to others mostly in spanish at this moment.
I am trying to grasp what the hell is going on with people when approaching Desteni nowadays – or maybe it’s always been that way but anyways – I cannot grasp how people jump into conclusions and kind of just after 24 hours of discovering desteni and registering in the forum can already start making ‘assessments’ of what Desteni is about and what ‘walking the process’ is and consider themselves ‘walking the process’ – meaning within the application of the tools etc – I mean, people don’t want to read properly and take their time before jumping in just to be part of something.
It’s something I cannot fathom I mean the moment I discovered Desteni, I registered in the forum right away but I didn’t participate until quite some time later on after watching several videos, going through my own mindfucks about what Desteni was only to later on be then directly supported to actually understand what walking the process is. So, because of understanding what anyone goes through when finding Desteni – usually shocking – it’s cool to be a point of reference or support yet people definitely require to take their time and I require to be more patient and flexible with newcomers that decide to simply just go on asking questions without caring to look at the material and do proper research.
Now within this I saw myself becoming almost ‘bitter’ really like having to explain the same and the same – lol which is what we will require to do anyways – really got me to this inner-state of not being cool about it, like frustration because of people not reading and studying and doing what we have initially suggested them to do before posting – thus, it becomes quite a deal and I mean it was fuicking hectic it’s been hectic and so I really just focus on getting things done but there’s points emerging the whole time.
One thing that has also bothered me from myself is not giving me the time to write – like it’s the whole day kind of just focusing too much on everything else and not leaving space for myself which doesn’t have to be like that, I have to take time for myself to write myself otherwise I’m just building up shit inside my head and being in a clockwork state.
What is here at the moment is me not wanting to go to new years’ eve shitty party lol well what people do there is over eat, drink, toss some jokes, make fun of one another and pretend to have fun. OH! also writing wishes and eating 12 grapes in 12 seconds and probably wearing either yellow or red panties for the most two fucking enslaving things in existence: love and money Hooray! I mean I even got these emails reminding me that these two particular colors of underpants were with a certain discount off and that I had to ‘hurry to get mine!’ yellow or red man! I mean pff as if wearing some fucking underpants could make any difference within you getting more sex I mean love or more money to satisfy your greed. HOw enslaving – yet I’ll probably see people running with their suitcases and jumping over a puddle to symbolize going to Europe. PFF I mean yes I used to do the wishes thing when I was younger, and eating the grapes which I’ll probably do for the sake of the fun of it today and also leaving my suitcases outside so they could get ‘new year’s winds’ LOL! man how fucked up. Anyways, that’s what new years’ eve traditions entail and yeah I mean I won’t add any more ‘feelings’ to it, but I see no point I mean really I was recalling how cool it was being at the farm and not having to celebrate any type of shit, not having to compromise anyone with giving gifts to one another and not having to pretend to be celebrating something –
My experience of all of this time of the year has definitely changed I mean before I would get depressed, I would be simply seeking points of diverting my attention being out and talking with friends and looking for something ‘exciting’ to happen, or I would be really participating in these type of traditions and beliefs and so forth – I mean yes it’s a complete different person the one that did all that, yes and this was running up to probably 4 years ago now… And I saw how all of that was mostly compromising myself to kind of just go along with what everyone else was doing – so I’m glad I’ve stopped participating in that.
I saw a video of a teen star smoking salvia after her 18th birthday I noticed how I started ‘judging’ that point but man, I mean yes she’s the ‘example’ for many kids but I’ve been there myself and I saw her fun with her ‘friends’ while getting high is all about, it seems like ‘discovering life’ = getting high, getting laid, getting some type of ‘excitement’ in this world which is built upon monotony and systematic repetitions – so, saw that I simply have to stop the judgment whenever I see things like that because it’s simply a reflection of what we’ve all accepted and allowed ourselves to become I mean, that could’ve been me in her shoes and really just going over the top trying to ‘live’ and enjoying her ‘fame and fortune’ which is ‘the’ thing that everyone wants to experience in their lives, to become rich, to become famous, to become the ultimate specialness to then be able to ‘live life’ which is actually based upon limited ways of just losing themselves and trying to find ways to escape their reality. Been there, done that but I have changed my entire life into something that is actually standing for something that considers all, something that transcends my own life as ‘marlen’, something that stands as the voice of those who can’t speak but that would mostly be doing what I’m doing if they had the opportunity to do so. I mean, I cannot take the thought out of a schizophrenic world – you got teen idols getting high and testing their freedom provided by money while in another part of the world there is people fucking starving that could’ve used what that star spent in a fucking high-ride to feed themselves for probably a month. How fucking unacceptable!
Do I need to say More??
Yes, simply: this has to end, this nightmare for humanity has to stop by ourselves supporting an Equal Money System to give an end to all the abuse we are currently existing as in this world.
WE all know that
cheers for the year that ends lots of radical changes within myself yet lots an lots to come.
thanks for reading