Patience is something that I see I am developing when participating in forums or when having to write the same answers all the time in comments or points wherein I get messages from people that are specifically love and lighters which I then took on to create a vlog in spanish about the point.
What I noticed is me getting quite ‘fired up’ while recording and man! it’s already been the third time that I’ve recorded that single topic because the first time I saw myself yelling at the camera lol! so I realized that wasn’t a cool support- second time I equally ended up cursing too much about it – and this third one which is the one I will most likely upload is then what I see as acceptable as I cannot judge m yself for speaking louder than usual when opening up the point that entails the most deception in this reality as ‘love and light’
So, how the point of patience is linked to this point is when having many people linking Desteni to us being something about love and light and blessings – this mostly happening in the spanish channel atm – I decided to make a video about it in spanish to point out how deceptive it is to talk and preach love and light in the current state of this world wherein the single idea anyone keeps about God is an indication of them not wanting to take self responsibility and thus waiting for something/someone to direct them –
I noticed myself becoming energetically angry so I had to breathe in moments to keep simply directing the point – this same type of ‘outbursts’ when opening up a point happen when I engage myself in a discussion where an obvious point of abuse is not seen – thus I see that as long as I am aware of me becoming ‘angry’ yet having that energy experience coming up, I see that I have to then immediately slow down and re-direct myself because otherwise I end up kind of just rambling on from then an angry state – and that’s been a constant point within myself wherein I tend to start speaking too loud and blushing from that anger point rising up directing me in the moment so, I stopped at moments to breathe – it’s cool to then see the video where I definitely brought me back to my senses here and breathed and continued – and I’m going to post it because it’s definitely part of my process and for now I cannot see myself being able to express it in any other way as the topic in itself is not something sugary for me to not express the actual realization of what type of deception all love and light and galactic federation ufo’s conspiracy-theorists type of stuff which is all useless, completely useless to what we have to deal with HERE.
Though – I’ll look at the point of what is it that actually causes me to go up in flames about it which is what I also realized in the moment of doing the vlog and explaining how I had been there and done that meaning being into spiritualism and believing I had to ascend and send my ass to heaven and meet my maker lol so I saw how it’s also anger towards myself for ever falling into that trap and belief system believing in all types of bullshit that I am so thankful I got myself out of – I was really deluded and so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own anger at myself when talking about love and light because I was once a light-worker, a wannabe spiritualist and the type of ‘mystical’ person just so that I could ‘ascend’ and ‘be special’ and ‘enlieghtened’ – yeah that’s not a misspelling lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself every time I remember all the shit I used to believe and everything I attempted and tried to be just to prove that I was ‘special’ and that I had ‘powers’ to heal others or change the world through thoughts and vibrations and energies
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own anger towards myself as that shame for having ever participated within any spiritual practice and thus becoming impatient and angry when having to express how light and love is the deception
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an energetic form of anger when opening up the point which indicates a part of me that I am still reacting to and haven’t actually forgiven myself for having participated in thus indicating that I am still reacting to the memories of ‘who I was’
I let go completely of all the practices and beliefs I participated in , I stop the self-judgment arising when participating in memories of what I believed, what I participated in and thus how I evaded self responsibility in my life when resorting in belief-systems to then make sure that I would not care for myself as the physical being here and the entirety of this world as myself
I forgive myself for that which I allowed myself to become and thus I stop being angry at myself and reacting towards others which are simply reflecting back to myself that which I once allowed myself to become as the delusion of spirituality and light.
Another point that arises within this ‘getting angry’ which used to happen a lot with my family around my family mostly always criticizing them for what they participate in, what they believe, what they do, what they spend their money on, how they express themselves of others etc – and I see how now I have taken on the point of self-honesty is towards me it’s not about changing others/judging others on what they say and do because that’s how they actually got to be ‘scared’ of talking shit when I was around lol so they kind of started suppressing themselves which in a way it’s cool in terms of them ‘watching their mouth’ to not speak of others while I’m there – yet it doesn’t really matter if I’m here or not, what matters is them participating in one single though like gossip around others which is part of what they are accepting within themselves – thus we can see that it would be useless for me to get angry all the time to correct them – I’ve explained the points once, maybe twice or more times and all those times I ended up frustrated as they simply: don’t want to change!
So yesterday I pointed that out wherein I said I do not care what they watch on tv or what they do with their lives – it’s all about themselves and that’s it – to which they were kind of surprised as they were used to me being extremely judgmental all the time towards them – so now I speak if I see they are actually talking bullshit of another/others that is not present as I did yesterday – yet realized that it might enter them through one ear and go right away out of the others so… I simply stop criticizing their entire lives as I would only play the bitter one without actually being able to ‘change them’ or make them see things that they actually haven’t up to this point, simply because of wanting to remain in that safe pink bubble – so, that’s been as far as I can go within it –the rest is up to them and that’s what’s also so cool about process I mean, Imagine if we had to actually ‘take care’ of everyone around us, making sure they ‘change’ pff that would be so draining! So back then I didn’t understand that point of SElf Honesty implies being so with myself not trying to ‘convert’ others as well – lol.
On other topics is fascinating what’s emerging in this world following the case of this guy shooting and how laws treat the mentally unstable and deranged people under other procedures of punishment than if they are completely ‘sane’ – which makes you wonder how the fuck can any act of harming another can be filtered through two different ways of ‘dealing with it’ according to your mental state’- lol I mean, that is simply ludicrous and it only exists within a system that gives worth and value to a mental disorder being an actual ‘incapacity’ to direct yourself and thus sort of playing the mind’s victim when committing any crime – lol this entire world is ‘the mind’s victim’ and no one is really fully self-directive and self-responsible so the entire world and all the crimes against life would be held as perpetrated by mentally deranged people because only someone in the mind can deliberately harm another. YET! man oh man it’s really a thing that makes US crazy to look at how that is completely overlooked! not considered at all within the current system, within the ways that these type of cases are examined – I mean I watch the news – specially CNN america and it’s like a joke to me, I laugh when watching that because it all so fucking staged lol it’s really a big fucking joke at times and it’s been that way since I began watching these news back in 2000 lol ten years ago LOL when I began being concerned about this world and wanting to get ‘the truth’ on tv – LOL. Anyways!
I am every day tacitly grateful for being part of who we are as Desteni and standing up for the actual truth in this world which is Equality in all ways which is nothing else but common sense lived and applied, not requiring further useless knowledge or elaborated answers but simple principle that is simply then placed into action by each one- each one of us facing ourselves individually yet collectively as this entire world.
So, we create our own point of support through writing, through keeping that basic self-feedback with anything that we go experiencing, to keep us grounded and not giving too much ‘head’ to what goes on in our mind in one single day.
lol imagine if we could hear everyone’s thoughts out loud, lol this world would be as noisy as a beehive.
Ok that’s it for now – thanks for reading