So I was watching the video support that Sunette placed for Agreements specifically Lindsay and Joe and I listened through and obviously the word ‘Agreement’ has gotten quite a few connotations now from past experience – yet the words that ‘triggered’ certain reactions was how there was an initial point of that energetic attraction that’s existent and so how that eventually ‘runs out’ and we start to then see the person for what the person is until much later and how for example in Lindsay’s case within walking process and opening up points those type of experiences ‘reveal’ much faster.

And within listening as we usually do, we tend to go correlating our experiences which are all memory based with regards to what’s been explained and shared – and so I did correlate these type of experiences with past experiences – as they were coming up in my mind – wherein there’s a point where one would react to the other being and not wanting to see them/face them or pushing yourself to go and interact with them which brought me memories of having gotten to that point after quite a long time with previous relationships and how within one of them became a usual back and forth game wherein we would go in cycles being together and then part ways then getting back together, then apart and how we would both get to that stage of not wanting to see each other and simply taking the easy way out of parting ways and that’s it – without ever even daring to open up the points – we apparently would but we would never actually know that it is ourselves that we are reflecting on to others – and that’s definitely a ground breaking factor because we now are aware that we have to take everything back to Self and that everything we might experience towards others is in fact facing the nature of ourselves that is faced within a relationship or agreement.

Now, what I realized within this and when listening to the interview is how there are points that we can’t even imagine exists as ourselves yet as we know everything that is here as this world is ourselves, our ‘nature’ and thus we understand the importance of taking our lives through the utmost Self Honesty because within allowing ourselves to see what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as can we then support ourselves to stop the cycles. Now this is obviously easier said than done because as we can see there are points that we don’t even know they exist, like for example taking on such memories it was a complete ‘I can’t stand you’ experience that I could not explain and even if the other being was being the most ‘kind’ and ‘warm’ which was already quite an ‘effort’ for that person, I would feel annoyed, bothered, that entire point Sunette described as the physical resistance – man! I thought I hadn’t experience but when looking at the past I did and it was not cool because when getting to that point is when I would simply lead the entire relationship to end – I remember this very clearly when it happened with my first relationship and it was like after a year that I started experiencing this which compounded over other 5 months to the point of saying no more, we realized how the entire relationship-energy had ‘ran out’ lol which was clear indication of how love is simply a sugar-candy, an energy bar, a battery that eventually runs out leaving us high and dry and thus because of having identified ourselves As that energy that ‘powers’ everything as the relationship, when the energy runs out= relationship runs out and that’s when for example in cases of agreements, the agreement begins wherein the initial stage of attraction and kind of the first days that most people go through when in relationships are experienced – then comes the rest of your life lol that’s a quote I’d like to share and I will share:

“First there’s love, then there’s disenchantment, then there’s the rest of your life” which indicates how you can only start living when you’ve actually fallen in and out of love to then get real within the point of living with another being for example.

And so within opening up the points and seeing how I have ‘failed’ to ever stand up from that position as I’ve given up all the times, a sense of ‘failure’ came up and then wanting to project the blame on to partners which is obviously not acceptable as I haven’t ever lived that point of taking it all back to self until quite recently in my life – actually also learned through relationships – lol. As I’ve mentioned before relationships are ‘the’ point that I have to get myself to be able to walk through in absolute Self Agreement because of tendency to compromise myself, to diminish myself, to abuse myself because of changing when being with someone.

Then when listening the point of facing the ‘ugliness’ that exists as ourselves meaning as the obvious counterpart of all the effort anyone does to ‘be beautiful’ or to have a certain desire to be so/appear- thus we can see how that is existent as ourselves and within this I matched it to ‘manipulation’ which is interesting how it has the word ‘man’ in it man-I-pull-action wherein I remembered certain specific points wherein I knew how to ‘trap’ someone and thus act and be and exist in an also specific way because I knew how to push men’s buttons so to speak – lol it’s not that it is ‘I’ me but myself as any other person as any other mind in this world that’s trying to get something out of someone else – and thus I see that as obvious Self Manipulation that one creates just to maintain or obtain or ‘take back’ someone in this case and it’s obviously not acceptable – I mean, it’s the ultimate point of selfishness of complete ego-winning act wherein we can have ‘what we want’ and it’s just another infatuation that we allow within ourselves wherein another being is actually involved! Unacceptable and then, sugar coating it as making them belief that who I am is what they want – quite a marketing procedure there but yes, that’s how it worked and it’s plain to see how any relationship is bullshit, how love is just a AA battery that runs out  in any given moment leaving you ‘empty’ to face yourself as yourself and not projecting it to the other being – I mean, what we’ve heard from this interview should be life-coaching, life lessons given to people at the age of beginning relationships because MAN! no one knows this and everyone just goes blaming and fucking each other’s lives because of never actually daring or even considering to take it all back to Self – pff it’s so simple yet so easily or mostly overlooked.

So what I mean to say in this post is how this has opened up an actual ‘window’ within myself to see and realize that all ideas I have fooled myself with as the Idea that I had of myself within relationships are able to be debunked just by that single ‘ending part’ wherein I would start living that resistance, becoming annoyed and bothered and flustered about it without being able to really say ‘Why’ I was experiencing myself like that, never asking How I was creating my experience and realizing that it’s never about ‘the other person’ but self – and so, within this point I’ve then had to walk points of self acceptance for example, self-stability in relation to not depending on others, self-appreciation as I had completely delegated that to the ability of exist within a relationship and as such only consider myself valuable and ‘worthy’ if someone else would consider me so – wow, to see what that actually implies is a proof of how when the majority of the people in this world get themselves into relationships to be ‘accepted’, to be ‘loved’ then the relationship and bond in itself will be addictive in manner as we are only then realizing that relationships are based on energizing oneself up to fulfill or ‘fill’ a certain personality/idea of ourselves that is directly fed and kept in place when being in a relationship based in energy – thus the inevitable fuck ups we’ve created because it’s like the inevitable effect ot the law of attraction within the current inversion of this world! we get to see what is it that we’re actually participating in and within that getting an almost immediate reality check with regards to wtf is it that we are doing to ourselves and another and how it is paramount to stop the recreation of these energy-based relationships to get to an actual point of Self Honesty to be able to walk with another beings as Self Support and nothing else –

This is thus how and why Self Honesty is not pretty or beautiful as it is facing the actuality of what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become – and we simply walk it because there is no other way but facing it and being the living correction which is the ‘real deal’ within all of this.

Okay, thanks for reading –I realize this point requires much more clarity into a living expression that I haven’t yet walked through so the point of self support here is to allow me to accept points, to see points that I hadn’t previously seen, to forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to project my own self-loathing, self-annoyance and self-rejection towards others as any type of physical resistance I had towards other partners and how then I got to live that in quite a very distinctive manner as well later on – fascinating.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having manipulated others as myself into trying to fulfill my ego, my needs, my desires, my wants into creating myself as a necessity of another just so that I could then feel ‘valuable’, feel ‘worthy’ and feel ‘accepted’

Ok it’s quite late here but will continue later –

Thus! another point: Do on to others what you would like them to do on to you – that’s the key point to make sure that any human—relationship is based on Equality and not on serving one’s own delusional ego that sometimes tends to break when the power’s out. Thank you !


About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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