Being in the system but not of the system – this is what’s required to walk in terms of being individuals that are fully capable and able to ‘walk the matrix’ without getting lost and bound to the ‘matrix treats or tricks’ that we usually get ‘hooked on’ the moment we go into our minds – I saw this very clearly specifically when going downtown today with a group of people of one of my workshops – we went to a museum then walking to a restaurant and as I did this, I went seeing people, specific types of people I am usually just prone to look at as finding attractive – same when talking to them as speaking with older men specifically artists and so forth – and so in that moment I saw that the clarity required to be here implies no hidden agenda behind any type of interaction – so I proceeded to stop the mind-background and just talking. I did get a headache which means that going downtown is still something that I am allowing myself to be ‘affected by’ – pff people in this city have literally grown a second skin because it is quite a deal having to go through this every single day – take transportation only and that is simply one hell of a ride a day – I went downtown with some people from one of my groups in school to visit a museum and at first I simply realized how I am always being reluctant to go out as it is fucking mayhem here every time I go into the city, specifically downtown.
It’s been a loong time since I have been with people that aren’t my family just eating or sharing a moment like that, meaning as a group and in a ‘joking manner’ there was this guy just trying to ‘shut us up’ from talking – I saw myself questioning a girl that is a vegetarian and pointing out the fact that animals won’t stop being abused by her not eating animals to which she replied that 95 animals a year are saved by people not eating animals – then saw that there was suddenly this tension in the way she replied to which this same guy said us to ‘drop it’ and to ‘cool down’ and stop – so I did. lol how fucked up! people cannot accept one single pointing out because they take it fucking personal and make of the whole thing an ‘attack’ so, it’s a very common way how people say ‘I’m just joking’ when they say things yet they actually do mean it when they say it, because they say it thus it’s there as them in the moment.
If I have to deal with this world I probably have to mellow down to create proper relationships as in working relationships because I was discussing that with this guy yesterday – I saw how he greeted to at leat 10-15 people in an hour that we were just standing in one single place in school – then he revealed how he really is creating the entire role to get people and so forth – he explained that to me as he knows I know how the game is played – yet, I have to learn how to play that game in terms of ‘the system’ as right now my expression might be too much for now an might scare people off instead of the opposite – so, I’ll have to learn how to be in the game but not become the game or the player in the game and get lost within it.
Self Honesty implies we can become whatever we require to become if the outcome is and will always be placed as what’s best for all – so that’s the actual re-programming that must take place and within this, we all go learning equally how to take on this current system, how to work out the ways it works as in this moment in time to then be able to walk the same paths yet going creating changes while walking it. That’s the deal, no separation and within that, it’s best to simply not abide and comply to the current standards but to remain simply being the same person that is walking and revealing common sense whenever it is possible = just as we do in placing comments on people’s comments etc – I mean, one can only attack Equality if personality/ego is defended – the rest then speaks for itself so, that’s how I decide to walk – If I have to then change the current ways I am approaching people, I will – that is also part of learning here specifically with relationships as that IS what we are here to walk through – equality relationships where ego doesn’t stand in the way anymore.