Today I listened to the interview that Bernard uploaded with regards to women being attracted to aggressive males. The moment I read the title of the video I realized that I was reacting according to what I had defined as a ‘preference’ point. Now this not based on what I have defined as ‘physical aggression’ but a single attitude of males that seem to act ‘tough’ or seemingly intrepid/ aggressive which ends up being translated as the ‘rebellious’ type.
Now, looking at relationships I saw how I have existed within this pattern as a ‘preference’ point wherein I would be ‘drawn’-to or attracted to people that would present themselves as ‘aggressive’ or ‘rebellious’. My experience towards this ‘preference’ – or what I deemed as preference – was that of identifying my self still to that point, this is then the reason why I reacted to this single interview – or just by reading the title – as this was pushing a button directly wherein still in the back of my head I would be looking for a male that would seemingly be ‘aggressive’ or ‘tough’ or ‘rebellious’. <This eventually caused me to get my self into relationships which I have already taken on through a self forgiveness ride so to speak, extensively as this was one of the primary points that I took on when I began my process.
Though this time it wasn’t about those particular ‘males’ in my life, it was about the ‘type’ of person that I would still ‘feel atracted to’ which we can see it’s based on a ‘feeling’, it’s based on an idea that I’ve still kept as part of ‘who I am’
When listening to the entire interview, I realized that I am definitely placing myself now in a position to walk with someone that is definitely the type of person I would not be ‘attracted to’ in terms of how they portray themselves – meaning ‘aggressive’ or seemingly ‘tough’, but actually allowing myself to get into a more ‘noble’ or ‘soft’ establishment wherein I have actually directed myself – not by that initial ‘likeness’ or ‘preference’, but by an actual realization of what is best for myself as best for all, someone I can actually support and walk with in terms of being flexible, not rough but rather gentle as I have been rather ‘rough’ myself in terms of relationships.
>Thus, I see that within the establishment of an agreement, this is the basic point to look at – not allowing myself to seek once again an ‘aggressive type’ but actually directing myself to stand with someone that will actually Support-myself and whom I can support-back without having such preprogrammed desire to be abused or creating that idea that ‘I like it rough’ and stuff which I had previously placed myself in previous life experiences within relationships.
I am currently satisfied that I am walking this point within these terms, the initial reaction I had then was ‘walked-through’ as I realized that I simply have to forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe or perceive that I was attracted to rought/ aggresive type of mails without realizing that I was actually only acting according to a preprogrammed pattern that is NOT who I am in any way whatsoever and thus
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself according to an apparent preference point of ‘liking tough males’ or liking ‘rebellious/ aggressive males’ because I saw them as ‘stronger’ and ‘people of respect’ without realizing that it is actually a preprogrammed defense-mechanism played out by males mostly in order to not be vulnerable and actually be open to change to stand in an equal stance with no ego on the front.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having identified ‘toughness’ or ‘aggresion’ with males as the type of males that I like without realizing that it was only me acting according to preprogramming and not actually stopping myself from any moment that I would be ‘attracted to’ such type of males. Now I see and realize that I was simply still lingering to a self definition point according to preprogramming which is simply required to be stopped in order to actually direct myself within an agreement wherein I do not act according to or based upon ‘preference’ but actual principle upon assessing with whom it is best to walk this process towards a one and equal outcome as what’s best for all instead of going for a single idea or desire that I have followed in the past and that has proven to be the actual limitation wherein I create an ideal of ‘what I like’ without realizing I end up abusing myself and another for accepting and allowing such attitudes as ‘who the person is’
I am here to direct myself to stand with a partner based on common sense and in equality regardless of personality or any point of ‘preference’ and instead, commit myself to walk this according to what’s best for the partner as what’s best for myself as equals within the establishment of what’s best for all in all ways.
This is what I’ve walked and realized through walking the Desteni I Process as part of my entire process walked with Desteni – this is me now directing myself to establish what’s best for all when walking with another, relationships had been an ‘issue’ for me – not anymore, I can say I am here and ready to walk as the directness and confidence within myself as I stand as that point of Self Trust required to support myself and support another as myself.
I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to any ‘preference’ towards males but instead alk one and equal with another that is willing to walk the same process I’m walking within Self Correction according to that which is best for all life.
I Stand as that point of self-direction considering the practical reality instead of following an ideal of what’s ‘best for myself’.
Cool! lol I had reacted a bit for that moment, I can see in clarity how I can direct this and thus, correct it in my reality.