Living at the Desteni Farm–a retrospective

Going to the Desteni Farm was an overall cool experience, an actual living experience, it has been  the greatest decision I’ve  made in my life due to it being  the most beneficial shift within my life experience and certainly a necessary one considering the walk within my process of Self Honesty.

I enjoyed everything and everyone there: humans, dogs, cats, horses, birds, bugs – the location of the farm which allows you to enjoy open landscape views to the mountains with sunrises and sunsets that still even the most hectic mind, same with nature’s sounds wherein you’re literally able to hear yourself breathing and being here. Going there straight from Mexico City certainly makes of the farm quite the ‘heaven on earth’ space wherein you’re able to literally breathe.

This is part of what I wrote back ‘then’ when I was there.

Self enjoyment is what’s here: nice warm cup of coffee in the mornings smelling the dew as soon as you get out of your room, ready to begin your day with no hesitation, fresh like a lettuce and ready to move and physically support other beings like working with horses while watching the sun come up. Fantastic, no one would’ve thought that working cleaning stables with piss and poop would be quite enjoyable when you’re spending your time along with people that are equally learning how to support another being as yourself.

That was quite an eye opening experience: horses. I learned so much from them and still, I realize I’d have to continue walking to remove the initial fears I had towards them and also allowing myself to share myself. Breaking through my initial resistance to work with them wouldn’t have been possible without the support of others to walk through the point and of course, through walking and living Self Forgiveness as an actual physical correction. It seems it was in that point that I realized what it actually takes you to physically direct you do to something that you wouldn’t have ever thought you’d be doing and to literally realize where and how I was separating myself from what’s here, where I was going into ego when trying to defend preference over principle and how I accepted and allowed myself to disregard other beings while wanting to preserve ‘my time’ and ‘my space’ over the responsibility of taking care of horses. So, I walked the point till I made sure I was satisfied with being there supporting with the horses and literally creating a point of direction in relation to them and other animals.


It’s fascinating to live amongst several animals, getting in contact with them and learning ways to coexist with them as equals in all ways – amazing how we are able to get along by standing within one same principle. This was yet another breakthrough from what I was used to live and experience due to my upbringing being mostly that of no-animals to the extent of thinking that I didn’t like cats and that I wouldn’t be able to stand to live with so many dogs – but instead I ended up literally adoring cats and I simply can’t wait to be with them again.  Dogs are just fun to be around with, it’s cool when they come and visit you and lure you out of your room to play outside. I particularly enjoyed playing ball with Timeless – though even though she’s not here anymore, there are plenty of other dogs to do that.  So, it was quite a radical change for me from being a no-animals person to living with them – the farm became the point wherein I allowed myself to see how fears that I had inherited or mostly ‘taught’ by my parents had become part of my beliefs as ‘what I like’ or ‘what I don’t like’ – it was so cool to realize how we limit ourselves do to beliefs and then realizing it was all simply an illusion of our minds wherein we separated and prevented ourselves from enjoying other beings or foods or types of weather – everything and all that you’ve ever believed about yourself is not real and somehow, that reveals there – don’t ask me ‘why’ lol.

We had nice food that I enjoyed while watching the horizon, the landscape and sometimes the sky would just be a single delight that would accompany us through dinner – all here while eating, chatting and drinking coffee – the life there is quite relaxed yet there’s lots to do as well.   Everyday we have activities wherein one develops physical and practical skills, as well as ways to support ourselves within our inner- life experience, which is basically living and walking our process just as we’d do at ‘home’. To me the Farm felt like ‘home’ though I later on realized that home is wherever I am here so lol but it was cool to experience that comfort and it was simply like meeting the people that you’ve known for a long time yet haven’t seen for a ‘while’ physically. The moment I stepped down from the car getting there I realized ‘I’m here’ and seeing everyone was like just getting the full 3D picture of the people that I had known for over a year back then and being there in the physical made it such a cool experience, I was just happy to see everyone, literally happy and the next day I was ready to begin working which was a great experience to walk the talk and take on literal building projects along with the rest of the guys. I can’t wait to get back there as I am typing this from Mexico City at the moment.

Moving myself in the physical was one of the most ‘opening’ experiences for me. I’ve amazed myself in what I am capable of doing when letting go of all previous ideas of what I could do – I realized how much I had under-estimated my abilities within practical physical work wherein the first limitation had to do with ‘being a woman’ and apparently ‘women’ are not suitable to do some types of jobs that I had learned were only for ‘males only’. It was quite cool transcending this genre barriers yet obviously also learning to take proper care of myself, this literally was learned through actual experiences wherein I saw how I’d compromise my physical body for the sake of, lets say completing a task and disregarding some weather conditions that had effects on my hands. Great support at all times to realize more about the physical considerations within living here in the apparently not so important details that came up there.

It’s pretty cool to see what we are capable of doing when working all together unconditionally, what we’re able to create and literally transform an environment or simply get certain habitual-living tasks done – whether it is cooking, building, creating artwork, washing dishes, watering the camps etc – anything and all is a great way to see how one is standing within living in equality amongst beings that are within the same process of getting to establish ourselves here as physical living breathing beings within Self Honesty, all getting rid of any type of mental separation that usually stands in the way of being able to work together – like in our current world and system wherein competition and survival are two points that tamper our ability to live in harmony, literally supporting each other as one.

This is a point that certainly makes the ‘living together’ experience different from any other place where one coexists with several beings – the farm is the living proof that when people live together in an environment where the basic requirements are ensured, there is no competition, there is no need to be greedy, there is no superiority or inferiority as everyone is equally regarded and considered as part of the living organism that takes care of different aspects there.

I particularly saw how each person would place themselves in any type of task and simply direct themselves to do it in the most optimal way. This ensures that everything and everyone is lived at the best possible scenario which creates a constant group-support to literally create and stand within the standard of what’s best for all – I learned something from each being living there that’s for sure. When you live in an environment where all people and beings are being considered, you can experience what actual care for another is and how that support that you get unconditionally from others, becomes the drive to support yourself and others equally, to live each day to become someone that continues the work and application to become a living example because this is what is the living standard at the farm, which makes it like no other place on Earth – certainly, not exaggerating here.

Adjusting myself to living there was quite easy and I basically enjoyed every day, every moment. I experienced myself more comfortable in my own skin than in any other place I’ve ever been before – including ‘home’ or ‘school’ or any other environment – even the moments when we’re placed to do what I would’ve defined as ‘tough tasks’ – like cooking for all of us there – it’s a matter of pushing ‘limitations’ that I had existed as previously and see what we are really capable of once we are willing to break through all previous ideas and limitations and simply enjoy what’s possible to create and do in the moment – self expression is really encouraged there and this is something I thoroughly enjoy, even more so when I get to share the moments with others.

The Desteni Farm is the ideal place to get to know who you really are, wherein any background such as coming from a particular country, being a certain age, race, speaking a certain language or any other personal past detail is simply placed aside. Here it’s all about letting go of the past and stepping aside from your ‘background’ which is suddenly no longer there. This is extremely supportive in getting to know ‘who you are’ when you’re not in your ‘area of domain’ which is our home, country or people that we’re used to being around with. It allows you to see who you are beyond anything that you’ve previously been and so you realize that who we really are is not our surroundings or a specific place or people in our world, but ourselves as our physical breathing body that allows us to be here and break through the old patterns that we’ve held for such a long time as ‘who we are’.

Here debunking your personality and ego becomes almost a ‘natural process’ that is simply necessary when you are already familiar with the process of Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty – the farm is the ideal place for practical living application of the tools and principles that we stand as Destonians.

Here it is about getting to the ‘real deal’ which is developing practical living skills for living in the physical and also supporting ourselves as individuals within our process in order to walk and ground ourselves to become stable and breathing living beings that share, coexist, create, enjoy and are capable of supporting others in walking the same road – which is what I say Life is meant to be. At least that’s what I discovered I am here to be and do through this lifetime.

Another cool point is being able to develop yourself in what each one is most likely able to assist with – meaning, developing each one’s specific skills that will be of practical use within living according to what’s best for all, being a point that supports in the overall functionality of the farm as well as within Desteni as the group that stands with a constant and continuous internet presence, which certainly requires lots of people to exist as it currently does. To me being part of this is basically that point that I sought throughout my life so desperately, and it was from the moment that I found Desteni on YouTube that I literally said to myself ‘I want to work with these people no matter what’.

I had very cool realizations in relation to the physical-living process of how I am standing within myself, getting to become aware of my physical, on how nature works according to a particular environment, things that I hadn’t considered before to such an extent. I learned a lot from everything that’s done there in terms of farm work, I got to literally see how physically working supports ourselves to remain ‘physical’ and grounded which is why I enjoyed painting and varnishing and being outside doing whatever was required to be done as well. Self-Movement and having the initiative to do things was also a cool point I realized I am capable of being/doing. The usual ‘chores’ were actually points that I would come to enjoy as I realized how this was being part of the living-actions that enable the group and environment to be maintained and remain functional.

Living within an environment like the farm enables you to see how your actions have an influence or impact on the overall environment. One gets to see how much effort and work it takes to keep very basic points of our day to day living in place – I enjoyed it because the realization of ‘this is what actual living is/ this is what life should be about’ was ‘here’ in every moment that I would see how we are currently living as alienated drones busy in our own mind bubbles, whereas living in an environment that requires constant participation certainly clears quite a lot of mind bs and places you in an actual-living condition, which is how we see that it’d be necessary to create further environments like this for all human beings to realize what life should be like.

What else can I say? All the every-day life events like chatting in the kitchen, drinking coffee, building, doing dishes, washing, working in developing writing skills, getting to know ourselves within the physical, learning ways to sustain an environment, while also discussing and developing ways to support and assist ourselves in all ways is part of the regular doings at the Farm. It’s a one of a kind opportunity to let go of any ideas you have about yourself and discover who you really are while getting the adequate and unconditional assistance and support from all beings here – and this doesn’t only mean people but animals who are literally ‘always there’ to remind you of remaining here at the physical level, it’s always cool to run around with the dogs, roll on the grass or have a chat with the cats and have them as company during the nights. I enjoyed walking around the fields, being aware of every single step that I’d take as well.

I simply felt like a kid again there – literally running around whenever I could and going to visit people in their rooms and chatting, preparing coffee for myself and others, the endless interviews and discussions with Bernard by the fire or at the kitchen – all of it. Lol I got to remember ‘my room’ and how I enjoyed making it cozy enough to simply have a cool space to live along with another as well. I enjoyed talking and sharing about myself with virtually anyone and most definitely also enjoying visitors whom I also know from forums, this was a lot of fun and I’m definitely grateful for having met all of them and having lived there for one full year after I had only planned to stay for a month and a half .

We’re a bunch of people that are able to coexist due to the principles we’ve walked at an individual level for some time so, getting together is just like placing the scattered all-over-the-world pieces of one single puzzle that once it is together, it functions as it should.

The farm is the Destonian Land and by this I mean, if you are walking your process and applying yourself and would like to be in a supportive environment to do so, make sure that you visit at some point in your life. I can simply say: it’s definitely the place to Be.

Enjoy if/when you get there.

About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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