Process of Self-Realization: Equality as a group

‎”All words we live is always from another, that is how we were created as whom we are. We live these words because of who we are. The message we present at Desteni do not make life easier. in fact –quite the opposite. It makes us aware of a world in peril and then we can never be comfortable again till this is directed in a practical way that produce a world best for all.” – Bernard Poolman

Change is inevitable once that we embark ourselves in this process because it is about actually doing that in all aspects: stepping outside of our preprogrammed cages to embrace a reality that is here and has always been HERE,  yet we’ve sought ‘ourselves’ outside all the time, seeking quick fixes and short lived highs to have a thrill during the day. It didn’t cross my mind that I had to in fact take my life first through a process of self-purification before even daring to speak about ‘changing the world.’ We tend to skip that initial vital step of first getting to know ourselves, to establish that initial starting point of being the point of change that we want in this world. And for that, a single ‘measuring point’ is required: Equality as Life. This basic principle, when understood and walked, changes your entire life experience because we step out of only considering ‘us’ and our own experience, and get to know others that are also taking the decision to stand up for life. By this I  mean us, Destonians: human beings that dare to live, dare to let go of all limitations, relationships, ideas, perceptions that we’ve believed is ‘who we really are’ – which is not so in fact.

When we begin to see our life through the self honesty lens, we start seeing how we have walked our lives without having taking a proper moment to look at what is it that is driving us to keep certain relationships, to talk and behave in certain ways, to have a set of preferences that makes up our personality which in my case, was created within a selective process of taking this and that from people I admired while growing up. All of this to create our suitable-survival kit to ‘cope with the world’. We start realizing how self-destructive we can be when existing only in our minds while we think, think, think and neglect our physical body and the reality that is here while doing so. This is just a part of the aspects I am now able to see/ realize; but back then, all that mattered to me was to create an ‘original mix’ of all the bits and aspects I’d take from people in my reality as well to create myself as something that I could be ‘proud’ of. I would self-talk a lot and make it my own entertainment which is a point that I am still facing and walking, mostly directing it to be part of a process of communicating to myself points of self direction instead of indulging in endless self-conversations about imaginary situations.

Well, that process didn’t go exactly ‘well’ as I was mostly getting myself deep into the rabbit hole with almost no ticket to get back to my 5 senses.  I also do not judge that period of my life – which I used to do at the beginning of my process – I’ve come to realize it had to happen to a certain extent to get myself here where I am standing at the moment. It might sound like justifying the experiences that I put myself through, but it was also a process of self-discovery wherein my own urge to live got me to known and walk ways that lead  me to see/realize which ways Not to take as they lead me nowhere.

Once that I found Desteni, one of the main points that supported me was participating in the forums, getting to interact, get perspectives from ‘the brave ones’ that had dared themselves to start vlogging and sharing their blogs of which there were only a few 4 years ago. They all inspired me to the extent that I became a committed blogger once that I started writing myself to freedom, which took me a while to grasp of course and till this day, we continue learning from each other which is awesome when walking as a group.

How I got to grasp what common sense, self honesty, self forgiveness mean is through watching all the material, participating in the forums, reading it constantly at the beginning to then participate and support myself/ others while having a fair-understanding of what we were actually doing there. It’s through the forums that I had many realizations wherein everything started ‘making sense’ after having devoured hours and hours of videos and articles in the website.

However, once the information started ‘settling in’ within me, I started realizing: ‘oh oh, this is for real, I have to Actually Do This.’ I remember this moment, I was standing in the kitchen while having the last drags of a joint that I used to ‘cope with all the information’ and while staring at the lighter that I had kept next to me for over a year and a half in my secret tin boxes, I realized that if I wanted to take this change seriously I would have to let go of that which I had cherished up to that moment. I can recognize I exaggerated the point at times in terms of ‘cutting ties’ with it all, but it was also part of the process of literally stopping participation in everything that had ‘defined me’ and see what remained. I remained, yet people started asking questions because of how I radically took on the point of ‘being self honest’ and took it as a rather obtuse move instead of taking the process for what it is: a space time process of getting to know myself, realizing the points that require self-correction, walking self forgiveness, educating myself on what is common sense, what is self honesty, writing, sharing and walk it in real-life.

It is only through time that I learned how to modulate myself and realize how it is not to shut down ourselves from our world and sever all relationships, but to actually learn How to live and continue walking this process while walking the matrix as we say, realizing in a practical way how I have created myself and How I can now create myself as a being that stands in Equality as Life. For that I can say that getting direct perspectives from people at the forums became a vital point of support at a personal level which is what I see is the awesome point about Desteni being a platform of information and support with tools that anyone can apply and live individually while walking as a group no matter where in the world we are.

We begin by letting go of our personal quirks that enhance our personalities which have become our ‘safe spot’ to not have to ‘deal with the world’ – that’s what it was for me, I got to enjoy being called crazy because it allowed me to not have to ‘fit in’ which was cool in a way, but it would also become a safe-spot to challenge my own idea of being ‘eccentric’ and taking it to other levels. These are words I have previously debunked for myself as part of my personality-traits, I can definitely say the influence of such points within me has diminished drastically as I was able to pin point what points I was aiming to ‘fuel’ and for what reasons – they are all failing to remain and get past the test of time as I continue walking here.

One of the outflows that I see as a result of constantly being reading, watching, sharing, writing, and supporting myself/ others within this process is how we tend to adopt the words, language used in the material, which is part of the process of educating ourselves to become specific, to get proper understanding of the words and how to become aware of how we live such words.

I’m not concerned about ‘speaking in a Desteni way’ or adopting words/syntax that you will most likely be able to trace back to the Desteni Material. Because 1. There is nothing really ‘original’ in this world and any desire to be so is only a point of ego that wants to ‘step out of the line’ without realizing our obvious point of equality within the most basic aspects of our existence. 2. Everything – literally – everything that you will get to understand and grasp from the Desteni Material will always lead you to a process of transformation wherein we require words that will support such transformation and that are certainly not part of our education in the current education system. Hence we embrace them as part of the process of self realization that we see and realize provides us with the necessary tools to be able to express and communicate effectively with others.

When taking all of these points in a holistic manner, I see that we are establishing a single principle to be walked/ realized by each one, which is what is facilitating the process of taking decisions and sharing responsibilities. We all are aware of being walking by a single principle and this is how we’ve come to realize that if enough people in the world walks through the same process of understanding our reality and committing themselves to do their part as well, we can actually simplify the process of self-change by moving within/as a single principle which is Equality as Life.

For this I suggest to take that self-movement point of joining and sharing at the forum. I can see for myself how it might seem overwhelming at times, but it was only through walking that initial barrier that is a perception and not being afraid to ask whenever something was not clear – and I had investigated the point for myself in a sufficient manner- that I got to learn, share and interact with others regardless of any thoughts that would come up in the way of ‘asking the obvious’ or stuff like that. I didn’t hesitate to post as it was usually through the observations and feedback that I would get upon my posts that I learned to see/ realize the points that I was missing, this was a process of getting back to humbleness after having been riding in a self-righteous ‘smart ass’ way. Cross-referencing is a primary activity when walking as a group of self-support, and it’s fascinating how we’ve been able to walk with several beings developing relationships of equal-stance wherein we are not ‘friends’, we are not ‘family’ or else, we are just equals that have committed ourselves to be the change we want to see in this world. I know I have said this several times, but it has really taken me quite some time to grasp this, to see how I had brainwashed myself by believing in all the stuff that I allowed myself to be distracted too when seeking some form of transcendent spirituality and only caring for my own ‘peace of mind’ while deliberately judging and neglecting everyone around me.

What I can say I enjoy about life is being able to interact and support people that see the world as I do, that are committed in an equal manner to take self responsibility. Learning how to work as a team, stepping outside from my self-interest and general desire to change the world by opposing it, by challenging it in a rather self-righteous way are points I am now able to speak of after long processes of daring to see myself and how I created ‘my ways’ of doing so.  Oh man, we do get  a lot of reactions toward our own realizations, we would almost like to erase it from what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become- yet all of that is able to be self forgiven which is the cool thing about it all,  yet taking the necessary responsibility to actually correct ourselves for what we see and realize has been a fuck up in our existence.

And this is not over yet, it’s only just begun.

If you have any questions or comments upon this, if you are a silent Desteni reader that would like to participate but don’t know how to, or fear approaching the forums, leave a comment here and I’ll be glad to support with further perspectives.

Why do we do this?

Because I have realized/ seen for myself how great it is to let go of all the useless bullshit knowledge I had been busy accumulating in an anxious desire to ‘know it all’ and eventually become ‘more’ than what I deemed I was not: my physical body, the reality that is here; this allows us to then start looking outside of our cocoon into investigating and educating ourselves about how this reality that we live in works.

All of this might be a ‘rough awakening,’ yes, but an absolutely necessary one and a point that I will be grateful for the rest of my existence here. Once that we get past the initial ‘roughness’ what remains is a constant self-directive process wherein we dare to SEE the reality that we live in, wherein we become the point that directs instead of being easily wavering in moods and self dooms which we are able to stop more and more effectively by breathing, placing our experience into perspective and realize: there is actual work to be done here, I cannot remain blissfully breathing only, time to take self-responsibility for the very first time in our existence. We actually have to do this.  And so, all of this is who we are as Destonians.


About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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