“Don’t try to get rid of the ego-sensation. Take it, so long as it lasts, as a feature or play of the total process – like a cloud or wave, or like feeling warm or cold, or anything else that happens of itself. Getting rid of one’s ego is the last resort of invincible egoism! It simply confirms and strengthens the reality of the feeling. But when this feeling of separateness is approached and accepted like any other sensation, it evaporates like the mirage it is.” – Alan Watts
I considered Alan Watts among my ‘favorite writers’ for some time after reading his books back in 2006/7. He is known for making the East-culture ‘digestible’ to Western societies. His way of explaining reality certainly broadened my perspective about myself as part of this world, as well as my general consideration of what equality and oneness is. The Zen approach toward life gives us this type of thinking that he left in his books wherein there is a continuous call-out to not participate in one’s mind and kind of just ‘go with the flow’ for there is an ‘inherent harmony’ in reality – particularly focusing on ‘stilling the mind’ which is one of his books as well. Nonetheless, as much as his books were of great support to start becoming aware of myself as breath and becoming more self-conscious, there was still something ‘missing’ within his approach to life.
Later on, I realized that ‘letting the thoughts go by’ would only perpetuate the anger or frustration that I would experience within me, because trying to ‘shove them under the rug’ is simply another form of denying the fact that they are ‘myself’ as well – not who I really am, yet self-created. It also became something ‘elusive’ to try to ‘still my mind’ and just let everything be. I remember experiencing an internal conflict when suppressing my thoughts and ‘shutting myself off’ when reactions would come up, particularly when interacting with people.
The missing-point within Watts’ approach to life is the promotion of Self-Responsibility for the thoughts and the creation that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves as our ‘ego’/ personality/ mind. I can understand his approach of not creating a ‘fight/ struggle’ within wanting to ‘get rid of it’ which is what we at Desteni say in terms of ‘you can’t get rid of your mind/ you can’t fight yourself as your mind.’ Though! the big-link missed in Watts is realizing that we have to stand one and equal to/as our mind, to be able to stand as the self-directive principle in common sense. It’s not to fight or shut it off either, it is to walk an actual space-time/ day-to-day living process of investigating ourselves as our thoughts to support ourselves to actually disengage from such self definitions as ‘who we are’ through Self-Forgiveness, which is the necessary process to take Self-Responsibility; and from that, walk the necessary corrections within ourselves and in our reality. This is willing ourselves to be and become human beings that consider the whole as ourselves and implement the necessary changes/ corrections in our reality to make this an actual reality for all.
When I read Watts books, I got a nice, refreshing perspective of ourselves as part of the Universe – yet I didn’t have any practical tools on how-to deal with anger, frustration, irritation and the abuse that I was inflicting on to myself at the time. I became like a ‘silent observer’ of reality while swallowing it and suppressing myself, ‘letting everything pass’ and seeking the ‘nice’ aspects of every moment, trying hard to cover the actual reality ‘happening’ inside me that was ‘there’ all the time, like an uncomfortable shadow that I was creating when seeking some light.
Reading his books, we get a ‘sensation’ that ‘everything just is’ and we just have to ‘let it be.’ ‘Everything finds its way’ and within that, I became more comfortable within my position of not taking self-responsibility. Once again, I was simply just expecting something to ‘happen’ that could fix the world. I didn’t take me –or even considered myself – as ‘the point’ that stands up to acknowledge this point: we just can’t spend our lives ‘letting it all be’ within a world of abuse and massive disregard of each one to another. We have to take Self-Responsibility for our creation.
This was a breakthrough in my reality, wherein I saw that everything I was experiencing was actually ME and that stopping my thoughts and shutting off my mind without investigating ‘how’ and ‘why’ I was experiencing such emotions and feelings only led me into further mazes wherein I became really ‘fed-up of it all,’ i.e. ‘fed-up’ with myself without being able to see/ realize that I was creating such mental storms because of not daring to face the thoughts as myself, as the reality that I have accepted and allowed myself to become.
That’s how the process of Self-Forgiveness that I’ve been walking began with me finally taking a look at my emotions as points that I’ve accepted and allowed within myself, while actually acknowledging through a written/ spoken process how they are not necessary in order to live and why I can then simply stop participating in them once that we have walked the process of understanding ‘How’ we have created such experiences.
This is just one aspect that I place on the table at the moment, yet there are other points that I’ll share because I realize that maybe someone is also fond of Watts’ writings yet is ‘battling’ with the same point I got to battle with and for which I have found a very cool platform of self-support through the tools provided at Desteni: Writing ourselves to freedom – which is getting to know ourselves through our words, how we have ‘constructed’ our ego, as essentially ‘man know thyself’. Then we can effectively correct ourselves in Self-Honesty, which is the consideration of myself as one and equal as everything that exists here wherein we require walking an actual process of Self-Corrective Application. This means living in a way that is best for all once we realize our points of Self-Responsibility through writing out Self-Forgiveness, which is giving ourselves back to ourselves, along with the opportunity to correct our ‘ways’ in/of the mind. So rather than shut ourselves up, we recognize what we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves and correct it in our day to day living.
I’ve found that it is only through Forgiving Ourselves that we give and recognize ourselves as the point of Authority toward ourselves and everything that we create in this world, an Equal-Authority that can only be recognized if standing one and equal as everything that is here, which is the process that we are currently busy with.
Hence, it’s not to just ‘let the ego play out’ and then passively observe it as if it had any ‘reason’ to exist, but to ‘take the bull by the horns’ and face ourselves as the reality that we have become.
Breathing then becomes the constant realization that I am here, I face myself and my reality. I face the thoughts as they are a tool to support myself, to see and realize where and how I am procrastinating within my self-application to stand up and correct my patterns and habits that aren’t supporting the expression of what I really am as Life – one and equal. I forgive myself whenever any reaction comes when finally daring to open ‘Pandora’s box’ and seeing the reality of what I have become.
This is a collective process wherein the ‘outcome’ can only be measured according to each one’s application within the consideration of what’s best for all. In this, there is a lot more to consider besides just the thoughts in our mind or our ego, but the entire structure and reality that we’ve built as a manifestation/externalization of our mind.
Separation begins and ends within us – this is a process. We have the tools, all we require to do is walk/ live them in order to become the actual proof that it is possible to face ourselves and remain here. That’s the only way we can see ‘what’s real’ and ‘what’s not real’ after having verified for ourselves what is able to remain constant and consistent as who we really are.
Face Yourself: Write Yourself to Freedom – that’s the only way to exorcise our thoughts and exercise our ability to create ourselves as beings that are Self-Responsible and take the necessary actions to create a world that’s Best for All, once that is done, we’ll be able to ‘let it all be’ as we will be HERE living as equals. For now, there is actual work to be done.
http://www.equalmoney.org To create a world that is actually working for all.
http://www.desteni.org To begin with yourself, to apply the tools that are actually liberating from one’s thoughts in a self-directive manner.
Further support here ‘What is Self Silence?’
Quote taken from:
Watts, A. The book, on the taboo against knowing who you are. Vintage, 1989. 122. Print.
Support yourself – learn how to walk this process to the utmost specificity here