Who am I within communicating toward others? What are the immediate judgments that I create according to me reducing something/ someone to only being a picture presentation as a personality within my own mind? What am I really allowing within myself when ‘making up my mind’ about something/ someone as to ‘who I must be’ toward them in relation to the idea that I create of others when viewing them/everything through the eyes of the mind only? What is this ‘preferential rate’ indicating about me? This is walking through ‘who I am’ as the judge in my mind that manifests the current you-diss-all system as the judiciary that is able to contemplate whether a law applies or not according to a set of preferences/circumstances using the mind as the generator of all ‘proofs’ that are perfectly corruptible and malleable according to creating the necessary justifications/ excuses as knowledge and information that is able to suit one’s own interests in the name of power and vainglory.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an automated judge within communicating with others, wherein I stand as the ‘ultimate say’ of ‘Who I am’ toward others in a moment according to how ‘I make up my mind about them’ and in that, mimicking the same way that the judicial system interprets and applies the laws according to convenience, circumstance and context wherein the principle is corruptible to suit one’s own benefit and not really considering what’s best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a principle of/as Equality in place ‘in words’ just like we have our constitutions wherein ‘equal justice under law’ is ‘ensured’/ guaranteed on paper, as a statement, but when it comes to actually applying and living that statement, the leeway and backdoor of ‘interpretation’ according to my own benefit/ my own interests can be used as an excuse as to why I am not applying myself equally with all beings in my reality, which implies that I am not living yet as principle within communicating, interacting and living among others as I am still existing as the ‘judge’ in the secret mind that is able to decide another being’s ‘place’ within my own mind, and deciding ‘who I am’ toward them according to that judgments, which is only me-assessing-others wherein there is absolutely no physical relationship to what I ‘think’ of another, but I am only using knowledge and information to ‘make up my mind’ about ‘them’ and accordingly, ‘apply my law’ with its ‘amends’ so that I can still suit my preferences and dislikes toward beings/ events/ situations and not standing absolutely as one and equal as myself/ others in the moment of communicating an interacting based on physical living reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘interpretation’ as a way to suit what is being said/ conveyed in order to suit ‘my needs’ and justify them with further knowledge and information that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and identify myself as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own secret-mind court wherein I ‘make up my mind’ about a being in a matter of minutes according to ‘who I believe them to be’ as a set of characteristics based on images, words, picture presentation, beliefs, mannerisms, way of expressing, voice tonality, clothes, race, gender, age and in that, reduce another being to being simply just another category that I can store in my mind as the definition of ‘who that person is’ as a reminder of ‘who I am toward them’ based on my own preferences – when in fact, it was all created/ assessed and assigned a value to within my own mind – therefore
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever believed that I was always ‘right’ about the assessment I could make of others wherein I completely supported and kept them ‘locked-in’ the same set of personality that they have believed themselves to be, and in that I become an accomplice of another’s limitation of only being ‘a character’/ a personality/ a set of values, preferences, culture, gender, race, age, beliefs, ideology wherein I then become the judge in the secret mind that either praises and accepts or disses and rejects – within this I become equal and one with the polarity-basis of a binary system that works according to positive and negative values, while dissing/ neglecting life of equality and oneness and relegate it to a non-existent and non-considered aspect within laws and regulations, wherein a principle is absolutely overlooked and deliberately ‘missed’ in the name of acceptance and rejection of another within my own mind as a positive-experience/ negative experience that I generate toward another in my mind – or as a neutral experience wherein I perceive that ‘I’m fine’ around those beings but in fact, it is still generating an experience toward them wherein a point of reference as to ‘who I am’ toward them is created in my mind as ‘being neutral with them’ and not simply being here as the impartiality of my application toward all beings in equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a judge that either rules for yes/ no as the acceptance/ rejection of beings according to ‘how’ I want to apply a principle that stipulates Equality – which in itself implies the acceptance and allowance of corruption/ breaking our rules in the name of suiting our personal interests – yet the moment that I manipulate such principle to suit ‘my-needs’ as my preferences as the mind that seeks validation, recognition and getting compliments, I then ‘accept’ and vote in favor of that which is for my own benefit – whereas when I manipulate such principle to suit my preferences of ‘disliking’ another, I corrupt myself as principle to give more value/ worth to a set of preferences instead of the living physical principle, that is at all times revealing that equality as physical beings is here and that any point of preference and ‘inclination’ toward another is based on the mind that I have become as the judge that seeks at all times, to vote in favor of that which is best for me, as my mind, as my personality, as my set of preferences and that which I will get some personal benefit from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge the judicial system which seems tautological now that I write about it, due to how I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very judge that is able to rule in favor of that which sustains, maintains and perpetuates the ‘positive idea/ personality’ that I have of myself – and denies, neglects, hides and tries to run away from everything that I have deemed as the ‘negative and opposite’ that won’t support my very design, which is how my mind resists facing that which I judge/ deem as a ‘dislike,’ as the mind is constantly only seeking validation, perpetuation of the same values as the confirmation of the patterns that create an ideal of worth as personality, and according to this, having become a predictable personality that seeks similar personalities wherein I as the judge in my mind can decide what is ‘worthy’ and what is not, as I have become the very corruption of life in the name of personal preferences and suiting everything/ everyone according to my own mind’s preferential rate.
I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to judge the judicial system as hypocrite, without realizing that I have been a hypocrite myself when it comes to proclaiming standing by a principle and still holding preferences as likes, dislikes, judgments and creating either affability as positive experience toward those that ‘suit my personality’ as preferences/ likes and creating hostility and laconicism toward those that I seem to dislike – which are only values that I have create in my mind according to the knowledge and information that I have created and accepted as ‘who I am,’ wherein I have become my very own jail as the constrain toward the actual life that I am as a physical body that doesn’t hold preference toward anything or anyone.
I realize that within me having become my very own judge toward anything and anyone, I have never in fact established actual communication toward others, as I have always just been a mind that judges/ assesses my ‘interaction’ with others based on what is worthy/ what is not, what is positive/ what is negative – what is good/ what is bad – all based in polarity games of winning and losing as the ability to ‘make myself feel better’ about myself through my own judgments and avoiding everything/ everyone that would seem like a threat to my personal vainglory and ego fortification, as the building blocks of the illusion that I have become as my own pedestal that can corrupt a principle to do things ‘my way’ and suit my needs – in this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have self-righteousness override my ability to see in clarity how it is that I am becoming the very judgmental and discriminatory ruler as my own mind that is able to define ‘who’s worthy/ who’s not’ – who do I like/ who do I dislike based on personal preferences, which is nothing else than knowledge and information that I have subdued my entire expression to become, wherein I have built my own walls toward people that I deemed that I could not ‘communicate effectively with,’ which was only me as my mind not wanting to establish a point of communication with the idea that I had already created about another in my mind, wherein I give up any opportunity to get to know them better just because of deeming that ‘I’ve made up my mind about them’ and in that, becoming the very judge and perpetrator of the ongoing separation in this world that has led us to the current reality we’re all living in, wherein we seclude ourselves in social groupings where personality-enhancement is all that takes place and no actual equal and one interaction occurs, as all that is fed through relationships as friendships/ comradeship is having similar minds that feed each other’s ego in the name of survival as the very spite toward life, due to such ‘positive’ experience only being able to emerge if self-definitions as ‘who I am’ as my personality/energy exists – and energy is Not Life and is actually the abuse of life in the name of personal satisfaction.
I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to judge the judges that have ‘the ultimate say’ within any case wherein laws are revised for an apparent ‘proper application,’ without realizing that I have become the very judge that also revises my participation toward each individual not based on the equality as life principle, but based on the preferences that ‘I’ as a mind still holds and creates toward people, justifying it with all means possible to still make it acceptable as to why I care/ prefer/ incline myself toward some beings more than others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that I could actually make up ‘who another is’ in my mind in a very short period of time, which was really only me becoming the instant judge that is able to assess another according to personality as the image, the presentation, the preferences and words that a being presents themselves as, which is the lie that we all either buy or not – and in that, remaining only as a viewer/ observer of another/ others according to ‘who they are’ within/ through the eye of the mind, wherein I continue diminishing another being’s expression to being only as a preprogrammed and limited version of ‘who they are,’ which is in fact only a façade as an energetic version of themselves as an ego that is in no way the being that is in fact ‘inside,’ which exists in equality and oneness as the physical hereness – yet we have separated ourselves from each other to such an extent that we have become used to interacting with each other as pictures, ideas, beliefs, judgments and perceptions of each other wherein Life is Not considered at all, wherein Life is relegated to a ‘taken-for-granted’ background that we believe is ‘separate’ from ourselves as some elusive concept, instead of sticking to the physicality that I am able to touch and see for myself exists here as an equal conglomerate of elements that constitute the cells, the tissue, the bones and all the systems inside that make our living-moment possible as each breath that we have taken for granted, that we have abused in every moment that we seek only our personal benefit as the continuation of ‘who I am’ as a personality that seeks to only ‘get along’ with those that I like/ have an inclination toward, as they ‘who they are’ within my mind represent the continuation of ‘who I am as my own mind’ – whereas all those that stand as the potential fracturing and end of who I am as my mind, I deem to dislike, oppose and evade according to what they in fact represent as a potential breakthrough my own personality/ preferences, to actually stand within an equal and one stance toward all beings, wherein no positive, no negative and no neutral experience is required in order to communicate in physicality with others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ruled by beliefs, preferences and face-value judgments, which is no different to our current monetary system wherein we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be ruled and bound to an arbitrary value scheme, wherein Life is not even considered as an aspect of appraisal, but only considering the preferential rate that I apply as the way to ‘make the most of/ earn the most money’ from something/ someone that I diminish from life to being a single product, a single definition as mind-value that we have created and imposed onto Life in the name of personal power and vindication our own preferences and discrimination/ exclusivity of who we are toward others as energy-personalities, and not as the physical reality that is here, constant as the matter that is fueled by each breath that we take.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to corrupt the principle of Life in equality the moment that I create a single positive experience toward another based on my preferences as ‘who I am’ and what I deemed myself to be and have an inclination/ preference toward, as this indicates that I am not yet trust worthy as a living consistency of being able to be an actual impartial being within this reality that won’t be ‘wavered’ by a single point of preference as an inclination or rejection toward another being based on ‘who I was in the past’ as a set of preferences, characteristics that I would deem as ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ others, according to the frames of values that I have created within myself, as my personal jurisdiction toward everything and everyone in my reality, which allowed me to become the very self-righteous manipulator and dictator that is able to bend, mend, break and mold a principle according to personal preferences, which in essence constitutes the corruption of life in the name of personal gratification.
This will continue…
I commit myself to stop being the judge in my mind in every moment that I communicate with others in my reality and dare to stand in the equality and oneness of the moment wherein I make sure that my mind stands here as equal as the breath that I am taking in and out, wherein I recognize that the ground that holds me is equally holding another as myself, wherein I make sure that I stop any point of judgment that comes up from the mind that I have programmed to automatically do so during that interaction/ conversation/ coexistence in any given moment. I take it back to self to use it as a point to reflect myself back to myself and see ‘who I am’ being in that moment toward another, which is Not really about ‘them,’ but about that which I am accepting and allowing myself to limit others as, within a single idea, belief, perception and interpretation of another as only knowledge and information as part of the database that I then take as ‘who they are’ and in that, missing out the entire relationship as the real-actions in relation to the physical that exists here in every moment that we equally breathe-in.
I commit myself to live the realization that the moment that I diminish another to a single judgment, I am in fact not doing that ‘toward another’ but is only me diminishing me to a single idea, belief and perception that limits ‘who I am’ in its totality to a single experience that I project onto others – which is not life, but only knowledge and information that creates separation from who/what we really are in any given moment as physicality.
I commit myself to expose who I have become as my own judge in my judiciary system that molds and shapes its preferences as voting in favor/ against of something/ someone according to what I like and dislike as preferences that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself and others to, existing only as knowledge and information, and not as and of life in equality and oneness.
I commit myself to reveal to what extent we have externalized our very own secret mind as our judicial system of laws that we are all currently being governed by, and in this explaining how we have externalized constant judgment as an actual ruling system that neglects life and ponders self-interest as that which is ‘ruled in favor of’ while masking it with the word ‘justice’/ just’ – wherein what is best for all is not actually being considered, but only considering how to perpetuate the same value-system that is currently keeping the world-system of money in place as our very own trap of knowledge and information wherein life is being ‘sucked dry’ and not honored, respected as who we really are as living beings.
Blogs exploring ‘who am I’ as justice, judgment and the mind’s judge
2012 Self Acceptance –a very cool self-introspection about the process of separation, seeking validation/ acceptance – going into pseudo-acceptance as validating our preferences according to validating our ‘personality’ and into self-acceptance as life of oneness and equality, which is the entire process we are walking at Desteni
Supportive Interviews from ‘The Soul of Money’ series: