Elixir: a sweetened liquid used to Mask the Taste of an unpalatable medicine
-A Universal Remedy – ‘powder for drying wounds’.
A continuation to: 125. An Alternative Pop Culture Child: raised by MTV
A point that I have realized is how as a young child I accepted an alternate reality of the ‘rich and famous’ as something that I wanted to attain somehow – I played to be a singer/ dancer and it seemed like pretty normal for me to pursue such glamorous dreams. However it is again proof of how we become what we are Taught and Impulsed to become through our environment and house-habits. First 7 years of our lives are vital for this, and one of the first things I was introduced to as a form of entertainment/ playing was music.
However, if one would grow up in a farm for example, kids grow up wanting to be cowboys, agricultural engineers, truck drivers, shepherds and to me that was simply overrated obviously, as I had grown up being essentially hypnotized by music, which became -as the word that came up today indicates – a Mask for me to justify not hanging out with actual kids and playing outdoors. I became a porcelain doll in my home, only paying attention to this bubbly world and literally reducing my entire life for that time to a home-school-home back and forth wherein home meant TV – and that was mostly it.
What did I get from this? Accepting an alternate reality as ‘my world’ without a question, focusing entirely on becoming part of this aspect of reality that in no way was considering any physical and practical consideration, it was just an easy way to cope with my reality. What was I fearing? Establishing actual relationships with other kids, fearing actually going out and play, fearing missing out on some great music video – and this is not an exaggeration, which indicates how I became literally obsessed with music, developing a ‘strong-hold’ on the experiences I literally taught myself to create just out of hearing what such artists would have to say from their experience of performing, writing lyrics, traveling and all ‘the good life.’ Hence music became the synonym of ‘the good life’ that I used to literally tune in and forget about an existence outside of my room.
Self Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that life was about seeking one’s personal dreams and desires ‘when I grow up,’ which became essentially the way in which I programmed myself to be, act like and seek to ‘attain’ within my world and reality, wherein I believed that it was perfectly normal to seek dreams of fame and fortune, without being able to understand how it is that these ‘innocent dreams’ become an actual way of separating myself from my reality, covering with my so-called ‘special likes’ an actual resistance to relate to kids my age and actually go out and play, but instead remaining at home ‘cultivating’ my own musical taste and knowledge so that I could later on in life use it to my own benefit, linked to achieving some form of artistic career.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become used to being alone in my TV room, watching videos non-stop, as this was apparently a way to entertain myself in a ‘special way’ as it wasn’t so common for kids my age to be so fond of music, and within that, taking pride in my ‘special fascination’ and using it to build myself as the entire character/ personality of ‘the artist,’ which is nothing else but the perfect brainwashing process that was massively promoted as a way to keep youth absolutely enthralled with entertainment and an apparent point of ‘liberation’ such as what music represented from the second half of the 20th century, wherein I accepted this as a viable way to live in this reality, beginning to take it seriously in terms of building my entire life around music only.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to copycat the attitudes and words that I would see rockstars express themselves as, which became my role-model and standard of what I liked and who I wanted to be and become like, which is part of an entire cultural ‘shepherding’ of the youth, as music is certainly another ‘opiate for the masses’ when being linked to the mainstream culture of drugs, sex and rock and roll that became a motto for anyone that had any desire, hope or dream to ‘be free’ in this world – within this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of music to a form of liberation, as a way to ‘stand out’ in a special place within society, as music artists were able to be absolutely goofy, rebellious, sarcastic, powerful and essentially almost ‘unbeatable’ by so called authorities, which is how I became quite a fan of listening to artists speaking and expressing themselves, learning from that age how I wanted to be and become as an equal expression to that apparent ‘freedom’ that they would present themselves as, never ever knowing the actual business and mechanisms of how the music industry worked, but only seeing the nice pictures and lifestyles that I simply accepted as ‘who and what I want to be and become,’ to the point wherein I made of music my third and last option to dedicate myself to in my life, never even looking at how all three options were just yelling ‘I don’t want to face myself in this world, I don’t want to grow up, I want to follow my dreams and live life on the fast lane.’
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to as a child, become a sponge of the women in alternative rock while growing up, wherein their entire expression became the ‘what and who I want to be and become,’ wherein the most rebellious ones were the overtly outspoken and ‘challenging’ toward authorities, which is how till this day whenever I see a point of authority such as policemen, politicians or parents, I react in a rather elaborate yet perceptible eccentric behavior, simply because of not wanting to be ‘part of the herd,’ following the usual dreams of becoming doctors or lawyers, but simply becoming a rockstar in any way, which became the driving force for my life as a child.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately seek to become that which I thought was ‘great’ and ‘unique’ just so that I could justify that I wanted to apparently do whatever I could to achieve my dreams related to the music world, creating relationships with people based on the type of music we’d hear, rejecting people according to the type of music they would listen to, profile someone just by getting to know their musical tastes and such making of music this perfect excuse for me to further upgrade my elitism toward beings and even boast about it because it was apparently quite a great thing to want to be someone ‘special’ in music, only to later on find out how it was all part of the enter-tamement system that we think or believe is ‘the way out of the system,’ without ever considering how this was being the absolute statement of ‘I don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone else, but how I feel’
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in what seemed ‘normal’ and ‘fun’ to do, which is entertaining myself, idolizing people that I was busy absorbing as points that I wanted to be and become in my reality – within this, making of my hobby/ my one point of obsession as my ‘everything’ in my reality, which is how this point of being at home listening to music became an actual obstacle for any usual participation with others, as I would prefer being at home in my own personalized la la land than having to actually ‘deal’ with other kids while playing with them.
I realize that music and the obsession to remain watching and satis-frying myself for it was me being busy creating an energetic relationship that I created from watching music videos, as a sense of comfort and enjoyment from watching beings doing that which ‘I wish I could experience.’ I see how it’s been a background blueprint that I have kept ‘intact’ within my life experience, never seeing how relevant it was for me to even pursue an ‘artistic career’ to be able to re-create this experience I would get from watching music videos – meaning music And Images – as a point that would confirm myself being alone and ‘working alone,’ which was another reason why the artistic career became a nice idea, as I knew I would not have to ‘deal’ that much with people, but only ‘be in tune with my emotions and create’
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not question my world further than that which I was absolutely hypnotized by, being aware of how I deliberately enclosed myself within music as a way to justify my apparent inability to establish relationships with other beings and as such, using music as a way to further the entire ‘artist personality’ that I Thought I was being acting almost in an innate manner, just because we have not understood how in fact we programmed ourselves in our 7 first years of life, wherein we mostly forget the relationships we create in our mind toward ‘life’/ living’ and within that, acting out upon the information integrated throughout that time, ending up believing that everything we like, prefer and exist as the configuration of ‘who we are’ in our minds is real.
I see, realize and understand how this became part of me actually giving into thinking that no matter what, I had to follow my dreams,which is how I was able to justify me ‘following my dreams’ as a way to evade taking responsibility for anything in this world, as the music-world was all about hoping and dreaming of ‘the world being a better place’ by standing in a position of opposition with no real tangible considerations that could be of support to really get myself back ‘on Earth’ and ground my life/ living choices to an actual point of self-support, as a realization that this world is myself and that music alone will in no way whatsoever change the world, nor is art or any other single human application for that matter, as what is the key to ‘change the world’ and actually enable each one to have a ‘good life,’ is taking responsibility for the world we have created.
I allowed myself to see the world as ‘too much of a mess to even care considering doing something about it’ which is how the ‘loathing politics’ character came to be, which I can see now how this is a pattern that applies to many millions wherein we are all essentially looking to hit our own ‘jackpot’ in relation to fame and fortune as ‘a way out of the system’ instead of ever really putting 1+1 together and understanding that nothing will change if we don’t actually take responsibility for it.
I see how nothing of what has existed within this world has ever supported the world to change, as we always sought to ‘change others’ instead of changing ourselves, and this is also part of the ignorance that we played out all along, an actual point of missing-information to understand how we create ourselves, why we created ourselves in such a way wherein we gave the entirety of who we are to a single mind-experience that we created as ‘who we are/ what we like/ what we want to be,’ which is like deliberately becoming a drug addict or an alcoholic, give it an acceptable name in society and call that ‘a living,’ never even realizing how our points of ‘enjoyment’ as that ‘positive experience’ represent in fact points of actual abuse that we had ignored up until now.
I realize how I deliberately built my own refugee within the experience that I created toward music, building a specialness-point of escapism and glorifying it to a certain point wherein I believed that all I had ‘eyes and ears to’ was just this tiny bit aspect of this reality as music. I never questioned it, I saw it as ‘normal,’ yet it is only through having walked out of our own blindness within this process that we start seeing how we decided to blind us by the lights of something that would make us feel ‘fine’ all the time, and because it made us ‘feel fine’ we simply continued relying upon it as a ‘genuine enjoyment.’ In this world such forms of enjoyment have become the opium for the masses, it is the new religion and I participate in it actively the moment that I give myself into wanting to experience the same comfort, fascination and rejoice I’d get with music as a child.
There point that makes the difference between me using and abusing myself within any point in this world is the Experience I have built toward it, which is how it is in fact within our childhood that we can see the points of our basic programming, a crucial moment in our lives that we have simply delegated as parents to a single screen to keep the child quiet and busy. Unacceptable.
I commit myself to be part of the TeamLife within this world that promotes an actual education in relation to the importance of a child’s education on their very first 7 years of life, wherein we must ensure that the child is aware of the World as a whole, as an actual physical environment that one can develop a one and one point of familiarization by and through physical activities, promoting activities outdoors and involving physical work, as I see and realize that the moment that we learn to live only through watching screens, we alienate ourselves from the physical reality.
Thus I see that it is of utmost importance to educate ourselves and potential parents to understand the relationship between the physical and the mind to so ensure that we are in fact supporting ourselves as the children of this world that must integrate an equal and one relationship with their environment.
I can see and realize how this relationship was a point that I actually feared to establish, because I became used to the comfort of a couch and TV in front of me, instead of being outside exploring, playing and actually interacting with other kids. Thus it is to realize that TV at the moment for children is more a point of indoctrination into a consumerist lifestyle than providing any supportive information/ support to live –
Policies around parental education and childhood upbringing will be created within the Equal Money System to ensure that we in fact consider the importance of aligning each point in our reality to a best for all outcome, and media is definitely one of them. TV Channels for kids would have to be completely re-analyzed in absolute scrutiny to see all the roles, characters and patterns imprinted within children. And the same way, ensuring that children have proper support from parents at all times when viewing other types of programs that are not ‘child-friendly’ and how to deal with it, which is and will be part of an educational aspect for both parents and children, to ensure no further prohibitions and limitations are created – but instead walking in understanding and realizations based on the principle of What’s Best for All.
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