I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be used to doing only that which I ‘like’ doing and that which ‘communes’ with my self-religion of self interest wherein all the activities that are related to me doing something that is not necessarily ‘enjoyable’ but necessary as I realize that within this, I have been used to always doing that which I am benefitted by within a positive experience, which is how I have made of my habits something that is in accordance to that which makes me ‘feel good’ and within this, creating an entire value scheme of positive and negative wherein I have things that I ‘like’ doing and things that I ‘dislike’ doing, which was the sole purpose of the existence of emotions and feelings really – (Suggest to listen to Reptilians – Where does Relationships come from – Part 40 for further reference and understanding on what emotions and feelings are)
When and as I see myself talking to myself about doing something that I would rather like to do instead of the task at hand, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the mere resistance and judgment toward that which I ‘don’t want to do, only exists at the level of my perception as the relationship created toward that point/ activity/ task based on me having a positive or negative experience toward it, instead of realizing that aligning myself to the physical reality implies not creating an energetic experience toward the tasks/ activities and responsibilities that must be done in order to walk ourselves out of the inner conflict of like and dislike and focus on the actual doing of the task, breath by breath to support myself to walk through the energetic drive that longs for some type of energetic fix o continue doing, which is not necessary to move physically.
I commit myself to stop creating energetic experiences of positive and negative toward the activities that I have to do on a daily basis as I see, realize and understand that emotions and feelings were only created for the purpose of instigating inner conflict and further separation through specialization and dislike that I have imprinted as the relationships formed with people as either positive o negative – the same with activities, things, environments which are only ‘here’ to further upgrade the ‘who I am’ as the mind, instead of equalizing myself as the physical reality.
I realize that the moment that I allow myself to create a judgment toward something or someone, I am defining/ limiting/ enslaving myself to my own created relationship which implies complying to my own energetic experience when believing that such task in itself is either preferred/ not preferred to do, based on my own beliefs, perceptions, value systems according to that which I react to in a positive or negative way, which in all cases indicates that If I react in any way, I am still existing as a mind system of limitations. Therefore instead, I assist and support myself to walk my equalization as the physical taking into consideration the physical practicality of the task to be done and that which I require in order to accomplish it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own mind control when it comes to having a preference toward particular tasks and having a dislike or a negative experience toward other tasks and justifying that with me simply ‘preferring to do something else’ which is indicating that I am not making a self-directive decision, but that it is stemming from my own created value-system of likes and dislikes and preferences that in no way assist and support me to expand as I see and realize that relationships based on energy in fact separate ourselves from who we really are. In this –
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in a positive way when backchatting myself in order to go out for a walk/ rather work on other tasks that I prefer doing, which is a way to get myself out of the sudden ‘heaviness’ experienced when realizing that I have to work on my task, and within this, allowing myself to immediate go into the positive-sphere of my experience, overcoming it with the idea of waiting for the moment to go out for a walk, not having enough time till then and as such, actually making the decision to not work on my task as I would rather wait to go outside doing ‘something else’ which is how I eventually end up postponing my self direction, because of giving into the preference which is not even an entire ‘excitement’ any longer, but more of a steadfastness that I haven’t allow myself to expand toward all areas of my doings.
When and as I see myself creating a positive reaction toward the idea of me instead of spending time working on my task, I rather do his ‘other tasks’ that I prefer doing – I stop and I breathe – I realize that in such moments I am not the one making the decision, but who I am as the energetic possession that seeks to satisfy itself in order to continue con-trolling my own self direction – which is me in all cases – wherein I realize that it is only me in one moment of breath that can decide not to give into the mind-experience that I ‘prefer’ but instead, act in common sense and doing that which I have to do as part of my responsibilities within this world.
I commit myself to stop enticing me to do something based on preference, but simply in that moment see the development of the event until that point of seducing me to do that ‘other thing’ I would rather do instead of dedicating time to this assignment and then live the decision of working and doing what is required to be done – which means that all positive aspects of the ‘option’ to take are to be seen as my own deceptive means in which I have created a positive experience toward others/ things/ events/ scenarios and have created a negative experience toward that which I see and realize is what enables us to expand, grow and walk through the initial limits and our ‘comfort zone’ that we are so used to remaining in.
Within this I also realize that one of the reasons why responsibility was feared or disliked is a deliberate obstacle in/as the mind as who we are in the mind will always seek for the positive experience as ‘the candy’ that will support its continuation and within that, creating the opposite in order to have something to create a ‘better experience’ in contrast, which can only exist if we hold and create definitions toward our world and reality.
I realize that Responsibility is a key word to live as the ability to expand and grow within our reality and that it has been broadly evaded deliberately to create a common-laxity at a social level wherein the more we are entertained only with our satisfaction as wants, needs and desires, the less attention we pay toward the actual ‘workings’ of the system and the actual reality that is going on day by day wherein it is because of the sum of all our procrastination to get to do things that are to our own benefit as humanity, the less we create solutions, because we are being part of the fuel of the problems and the problem itself – hence we must create the solutions.
Thus within this, I see and realize that even if I see this point of doing a particular tasks something ‘isolated’ from my responsibility to the whole, it implies that I am really not living unconditionally applying myself in all aspects of my reality and as such, it Is relevant and important as we are all as humanity within this procrastination creating a reality of mediocrity which is what I have judged before and that which I am going into the moment that I participate in a positive feeling experience in ‘doing something else’ that is most likely time consuming, life consuming and entertainment/ diversion point that most of the times doesn’t benefit myself and my process.
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