199. You Hate the Beautiful People?

Find out why and start considering where you initially wanted to be one of them.

Continuation to the Elitist Character

(I will continue in the following post with the Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments –Part 2 on the Elitist Character from the memory within the 197. Friends of Convenience post. For now a clearer point emerged while listening to the Interviews* listed at the bottom of the page that I require to give immediate direction to)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge rich people as patronizing everyone with arrogance, being conceited and prepotent wherein I immediate took their expression personal to diminish myself when being in their presence because of perceiving myself as having ‘nothing’ to boast about, nothing to back up an actual ‘confidence’ as the one that I would see people with money/ the girl and family in the particular memory represented as ‘the elite’ and my first encounter with a ‘wealthy lifestyle,’ wherein I then immediately assessed that my position, my way of being toward them would always be that of being inferior because of not having as much money as they did, not having the same type of clothes that they did, the house, the cars, the exuberant garden and the general area and school they attended to and their general social status and education that represented the money that only a few in this world have in order to have a real optimum position in the world system.

 

I realize that I have projected these judgments toward people within a ‘superiority’ wherein I would immediately take their stance/ attitude as personal as a form of ‘superiority’ being imposed onto myself, without realizing that every and all experiences I generated toward them such as going into intimidation, belittling, inferiority were caused by my acceptance and allowance of such ‘power’ being ‘real’ according to my belief of money giving the beings the power and success that was only for some, wherein I then created a inferiority based on not having as much money, not having that perfect life – or what I assessed looked like on – not having the particular looks of the people and as such, believe that I was ‘damned by god’ and there was nothing I could do, without realizing that this is part of a specific world-system functioning and design wherein some beings were specifically given attributes in order to remain in such elitist positions, where as the rest of the human beings had to be left struggling with money, image presentation and the entire configuration of our lives as ‘less than’ when comparing ‘who we are’ as our money, as our bodies/ physical appearance and general social status to an elitist being/ rich people.

 

When and as I see myself judging people with money as prepotent, arrogant, being patronizing me and experiencing myself within an immediate ‘inferior’ position – I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to communicate, be with them as who they are, as human beings of flesh and bones wherein at a physical level is at all times equal and as such, I ensure I stand one and equal to them in my physical stance and remaining breathing to ensure that I remain within the physical context of the conversation.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to identify ‘who I am’ toward others based on money and a general ‘beingness’ that I considered as ‘real’ within them being ‘superior’ with all of these attitudes because they had apparently something to ‘feel more powerful’ about – which is money – and from there on, creating this inherent belittling and self diminishment toward myself in all aspects in my reality whenever the point of Money would indicate me that I wasn’t a ‘rich person’ and that because of that, I was immediately on a lesser position and as such, unfulfilled and ‘not as graced’/ lucky/ fortunate as them, creating a point of envy and jealousy toward people that to my eyes at that age ‘had it all.’ 

 

When and as I see myself identifying ‘who I am’ based on the amount of money that I have and comparing myself/ my position to others that have a lot of money and go into envy/jealousy for them ‘having it all’ I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to remain grounded within the realization that who we are as physical beings is equal and one and that all disparity caused by the amount of money we have, the looks, the ‘power’ over reality is nothing else but the consequential outflow of who we have become as the mind neglecting the physical reality, which implies that any form of ‘disparity’ only exists within the context of this world system where money defines who has a rich/ elitist life and who doesn’t. 

I realize that any separation that is existent within this world exists at a mind level, which is how money as the externalization of the relationship that exists between the mind and the physical, means that money is the externalization of the justified abuse upon this reality to create a polarized society wherein some have all the money and others have non.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a grudge toward rich people based on what I perceived as superiority and power within them based on the amount of money they had, the looks, the convenient relationships and privileges that they would get just because of ‘being from the elite,’ which I then was experienced as a form of being damned/ cursed by a ‘god’ that simply didn’t want me/ my family being that rich and powerful and good looking and having it all essentially, which remained as a Quiet grudge and constant inherent experience of ‘injustice’ and irritation and even anger toward people with money, wherein I started mimicking their attitude as arrogance and a sense of superiority just to be able to ‘cope’ with my inner inferiority and sense of ‘victimization’ toward rich people/ elitist people based on the constant comparison I would do of ‘who they are’ and ‘who I am’ as money.

 

When and as I see myself creating an experience within myself of superiority and ‘equalizing’ my physical stance toward people that I perceive as ‘more than me’ because of the amount of money they have/ their position in society – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a coping mechanism in order to camouflage my unsorted inferiority toward them basing my self definition as ‘not having as much money/ not being rich/ not being powerful’ and in that, create a physical experience of myself as being ‘equal to that power’ based on/ stemming from this inherent inferiority thus

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always have denied that I experienced inferiority toward people with money, because of Always having projected my own friction and conflict about this onto them and ‘blaming them’ for being arrogant and spoiled and conceited, not realizing that my assessment of them as being such characters, stemmed from my own desire to actually have what they have, look the way they look and generally having their lives, wherein the way to victimize myself was making myself experience some form of ‘discomfort’ as if ‘they’ were doing something onto me, instead of me taking responsibility for what I was experiencing toward them in my mind and actually see how I could only judge another as their money or their looks if I have defined myself only as my money and looks and everything that is bought and stemming only from these two points that I have equated to ‘power’ in this world.

 

When and as I see myself going into victimization as an experience of ‘injustice’ when hearing, seeing, witnessing events wherein money is being spent by people in what I have defined as menial points/ shallow expenses, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only judging them because of me actually having desired to have the same amount of money and probably do the same – thus I see that all the judgment that I would project onto rich people stems from my own inferiority and sense of it all being ‘unjust’. Thus I stop the ‘unjust’ experience and direct myself to rather see how the problem in our society is stemming from how money is currently determining a being’s living conditions in unequal proportions ,which is then how I direct myself to simply remain breathing whenever I witness these events of purchasing, shopping or spending lots of money with ‘no consideration,’ as I realize that in order for a being to have further considerations about money and the current world system, education is required and an actual dialogue would be required to allow people with money to understand how we can only change this world if they realize how such privileges as in being rich/ from the elite, are equalized to more people – and this must be done as part of our current participation within the world system as I see and realize that No opposition and no fighting against the elite will Ever work out  to create a solution – and within this, something that I realized yesterday and is very present here today:

 

I commit myself to educate myself to the T of how this world system works, so that I can explain and share and communicate with beings within elitist positions about the importance of equalizing the living conditions in this world in order to establish an actual harmony/ peace on Earth within the implementation of a new economic system that will change the way life is lived on Earth, wherein it is not about ‘losing power’ but actually realizing how such power was only existent and possible because of the abuse that such ‘powerful’ positions represented on Earth as something acceptable, without considering that as an organism, we all require to be equally supported in order for this entire world to continue going, and as such, commit myself to take this point to its last consequences  which means, do whatever it is necessary to be done to educate myself and others about the Equality Equation of the Equal Money System 

 

I realize that in order to do this, I must stand as one and equal to these beings wherein there is not a single experience toward them as being ‘more’ than myself in any way whatsoever, so that the communication is always existing at a physical equal and one level, not influenced by their current ‘characterization’ within society based on the perceived power they have based on money, as I understand how money exists and it is in fact the other way around of how money is perceived as a ‘good/ positive thing’ when having it, while in fact it represent the very reversal of life at the moment which is one of the points that must be understood by people with money, to understand he direct relationship we all hold toward this world system based on us having agreed to have Money as it does and currently exist within our world system of capitalism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the position of an elitist being as something ‘real’ within the context of the person being gifted with such benefit as a form of grace/ actually ‘deserving’ it on Earth, which is how I created further delusions of Karma and other justifications and excuses as to why there were rich people in this world having all the money, the great looks, all the great life that seemed of absolute happiness and bliss while the rest of the population remained in poverty and extreme Lack of virtually everything required to live in a optimum condition, and as such believe that they were ‘gifted by god’ somehow for having these benefits, without realizing how it was all just part of a system that had to work like that in order to achieve the necessary conflict on Earth and striving for life in order to generate energy to actually create a ‘heaven’ that would be mostly veiled even to people in the Earth as the elite, who were/are inevitably also part of the scheme, of which we all as humans beings have to now Wake up and take responsibility for what we’ve allowed as it is in our own acceptance and allowance of such system to continue until today.

I see, realize and understand that we hold the absolute responsibility toward our creation and that any form of wealth being seen as a ‘grace’ or a ‘divine power’ over others is in fact a cunning deception that must be exposed and known on Earth in order to realize, see and understand why it is absurd to continue and perpetuate a system of extreme polarization which is what is causing the current consequential outflows not only toward people but this entire world with all beings here, that are suffering the consequences of this constant ‘search for more’ that we have linked to attaining wealth/ power/ money as a sign of happiness, bliss, joy and fulfillment, linked to consumerism, linked to looks, linked to having the ‘best lifestyle’ without ever considering What and How is such lifestyle being a possibility within this world, which is of course, only through the abuse of the ‘less fortunate ones.’

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to deny the fact that I had Also at some point of my life also vehemently desired to be rich and wealthy as a synonym of ‘happy life,’ wherein I had almost tried to bury and hide such phase of my life due to the judgment I held toward the ‘me’ that I was while growing up until my early teens, wherein I was pretty much worried and concerned about society, upper classes, wealth and a general desire to be part of such realm due to the close-encounters with it, and believing that ‘life was much better when having it all,’ which remained as a constant conflict whenever I realized that I wasn’t wealthy and that getting such amount of wealth was mostly impossible for my family – thus acquiring a constant experience in a non-conscious level of Not being living to my ‘upmost potential’ because of money always existing as something that is ‘there’ however in a limited manner, and not as ‘limitless’ as I would have wanted it to be.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my position and my stance toward people with money would Always be that of being inferior, less than, never as good as them because of how I would assess that ‘they had it all’ and as such, create this entire constant ‘profiling process’ wherein I eventually would be automatically assessing who I am toward beings based on money and looks – wherein I would either place myself as superior or inferior based on these two aspects, without ever realizing how mechanism is what fed my experience of ‘not being good enough, not being as ‘good as’, not being perfect looking and al of that which I began comparing myself to and that secretly desired to be and become – however, because I simply saw myself as incapable of obtaining such power/ looks and general ‘well being’ as an elitist being, I accepted and allowed a diminishment of myself that became my physical stance, the personality I became as an ‘alternate version’ of a person that would Not seek to look ‘perfect’ but deliberately going to the opposite as in being ‘flawed’ and ‘messy’ and wearing clothes that would not attempt to match the elitist status, wherein within that, I would then remain within my own ‘safe spot’ of not wanting/attempting to ‘match’ the elitist beings, instead of confronting my actual inferiority and envy toward them, correcting myself to stop defining myself as ‘less than them’ and as such, realize how creating an alternate character as an opposition to this ‘elitist wannabe’ type of personality, was only a coping mechanism for me within society, to be accepted as ‘flawed’ and within my ‘eeriness’ just because of perceiving that I was in no way able to equate myself to ‘the beautiful people’ – lol – so I created my own alternate realm of ‘having less is more/ being ‘freaky’ and using so called intelligence in order to ‘cope with’ the lack of money and looks that I perceived made me a lesser being, which is unacceptable.

within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately decide to become ‘the opposite’ of some people in my reality and that I had considered as ‘aspiring elitist people’ which caused me to compare myself to them on a constant basis and as such, come up with the conclusion that I was unable to be as ‘good’ as and pretentious as them, thus, creating an entire polarity/opposite personality toward them after having tried to become like them and going into further identity crisis – lol – because I realized how I could just not see myself pursuing to be an elitist being without having the money to do so. Thus I became the opposite of what I would witness in my reality such as family and in my school/ reality, which is how I became the constant ‘opponent’ to all that perceived they represented as positivity, wealth, money, joy, bliss  – and me becoming rather negative, sulky and irritable based on my constant discomfort in my own body and the consideration of me not being able to have the money and the looks to be a ‘superior being’ according to my assessment then, which is how I then preferred to remain as the ‘opposition’ / giving up any attempt to match what I judged as prepotent and arrogant beings, all because of me not having the actual power as money and looks to be and become an elitist as them.

I realize that the inherent anger that I created about witnessing this situation on a daily basis at school lead me to accumulate layers and layers of constantly comparing myself to these ‘beautiful people’ beings wherein I decided not to try and ‘fit in’ any further’ but become just ‘my own personality’ that would deliberate be in opposition to anything elitist for that matter, as I realized that I could not in any way ‘match’ their clothes, looks, money – and as such rather remain in my ‘relegated bubble’ than trying to ‘equate them.’

In this – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become that ‘relegation’ as ‘who I am’ developing an entire beingness of constant conflict and irritation toward ‘all things elitist’ that I would have to participate in from now and then, wherein all I would become was judgments in my mind, continuously spiting the amount of money used for this or that occasion, without realizing that in the actual depths of myself and my beingness this entire opposition was created obviously from me first having desired to have such ‘fortunate’ positions thus – within accepting my grudge and general discomfort around ‘elitist beings’ existing as the memory of myself being conceiving who I am based on the amount of money and looks that I have as a determining factor of ‘who I am’ which is not acceptable since money and looks stand only as attributes that are currently valued as the mind and in no way represent an actual equal and one consideration of who we are as physical beings in this reality, which is at all times being one and equal.

 

When and as I see myself going into judgments toward beings based on the ‘elitist positions’ they represent in my world and reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all the judgments I can have toward them stand as my own assessment of who I am only as money/ looks that I have compared to that of people with money and looks as ‘better than me’  – therefore, I take responsibility to equalize myself to all beings at all times and remain in a point of conviviality based on who we are as physical beings wherein no money, no skin color, no ‘looks’ and physical configuration of our physical bodies determine ‘who we are’ as those are only aspects and considerations were are seeing through the I of the MInd and in no way represent the equality and oneness that we are as life as living beings.

 

I commit myself to continue investigating all aspects of how I created this inherent belief of me being never ‘good enough’ based on the underlying constant comparison to the people that I defined as ‘having it all and being perfect’ within the consideration of money and looks that we have accepted and allowed in this world to be a point of ‘value’ in separation of who we are as life as one and equal.

 

I realize how for example protests function in a similar way wherein people ‘hate the government and the people with power’ but in fact their opposition is not really within the starting point of proposing an equal and one real benefit for all, but more like desiring to BE in such positions which is what I suggest people protesting ponder about, if the starting point of ‘rioting’ the system is in fact within the desire of establishing an equal society or just ‘bash the party’ for the elite in vengeance and spitefulness toward the elite – because if so, that, my fellow droogs, would indicate that the Evil that you see within ‘others’ in this world is definitely Also existing within you – there are no real benevolent acts in this world yet.

This will continue…

 

Desteni
Desteni I Process
Desteni Lite Process : Enroll today, Free Online Course to learn the living skills to live in Equality
Equal Money System

 

Uma

Blue light beings – lol

 

Blogs:

 

Must Hear Interviews related to Racism, Skin Color, the Elite and body designs in order to STOP the Inequality based on the physical aspect of our body.
The Series of Interviews The Soul of Money exists as a backbone and necessary material to study in order to understand the dynamics of the monetary system, economics and our individual lifestyles  – a must hear to have a practical perspective on the changes necessary within this world in order to create a living condition that is best for all.
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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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