236. Perfect Slave with Badges of Honor

“from Intelligence to IntelliSENSE would be the process from knowledge and information, to commonsense practical reasoning” – Sunette Spies

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness on the Intelligence Character:

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define intelligence according to ‘having good grades in school’ and being recognized as superior/  more than others for that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link intelligence to responsibility within the context of how I developed this skill of being able to learn/memorize things and do the respective tasks/ assignments at school in a timely and precise manner which suited the character of being ‘intelligent and responsible’ within the context of school only, believing that I was in fact ‘intelligent’ and ‘responsible’ as form of special trait within me, without realizing they were just skills developed and used within only a particular field of my reality such as school, yet in terms of other aspect of myself I would not be responsible and would not be common sensical to question reality further than what I was taught about it, which proves then that intelligence was a self-belief fueled by others within my reality as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of self definition toward knowledge and information as ‘what I am good for’ in terms of working with it, memorizing it and as such due to how our school system is configured, the more you memorize stuff = the more intelligent you are considered – within this missing out an actual ability to discern what is of real value in this world as life and physicality, just because of learning how to cultivate and attain this ‘superiority’ of mind, that actually only serves the same system as the world system that is configured as our individual minds, within this supporting the inherent separation that we’ve become as fully fledged mind systems that disregard the physicality that we are as equality, learning to value life within the mind according to knowledge and information that later on becomes money to sell oneself within the system in order to be able to live – that’s what our knowledge and information has served then: energy and not life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, consider and believe that intelligence was a ‘positive trait’ within human beings as something that I had to cultivate, without ever being actually common sensical about this association and placing it within the context of how the world is functioning where no super-intelligent being has made use of such intelligence to present and promote solutions that could change the way we live and participate within this world, within an actual regard of what’s best for all. This is what must be now regarded as an actual intelligence as intelliSense that is able to be cultivated, promoted and integrated within human beings through us sharing how we have come to understand that we have never lived in common sense, but only followed knowledge and information as ‘who we are,’ separating ourselves from our own physicality and diminishing ourselves to be this limited version as a database that is functional within only a certain aspect in our reality. Not at all what Living Life should be about.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that such intelligence was dependent on the ability to memorize and how I created a relationship to memorize knowledge and information with certain ‘ease’ according to the environment and the conditions I was brought up in – For more explanation on this, hear the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Part 37 that explains how Language is formed and as such, what our ‘intelligence’ in fact is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited every time that I would be able to absorb more knowledge and information within the belief that ‘the more I know/ memorize and accumulate, the More I am’ but not from a reality-understanding perspective, but just piling up the data of knowledge and information that we have to go through within our education and define myself according to it, within this creating a positive experience toward learning, which I also judged because I was supposed to ‘hate school’ as everyone else did, but I didn’t – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to copy the perspectives of people toward school/ learning as something that is not desirable, and creating an entire self definition according to ‘who I am’ as in secretly enjoying the accumulation of knowledge and information and build a self definition around it, while keeping an opposite façade toward my peers so that I would not be able to be called a nerd or any other name that is pejorative toward anyone that is ‘good’ in school.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place this ‘extra value’ toward who I am as this ‘intelligent character’ without realizing that it wasn’t really a ‘virtue’ but only knowledge and information that I had a certain ability to imprint/ memorize within myself, but, being also aware of how there was no practical application for that, other than getting ‘good grades’ in school and being able to explain how things work from what I read in books, which implies that all I have ever done as my supposed ‘intelligence’ was copying-pasting information in my mind to be able to use it as required – which, for that matter, we are all equally within this application as mind systems, wherein everything we do is out of memory that we’ve gotten from our parents and past generations, the environment itself with specific programmed patterns that we integrate at a physical level and simply ‘automate’ our living through that.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that anything that is knowledge and information can only exist as the mind consciousness system, as that part of me that I have delegated my actual physical hereness and self directive awareness to, wherein I have defined myself according to the ‘cultivation of knowledge’ as a prop for my own identity/ personality as ego – and within this, diminish myself to be ‘only good for one thing’ which was just being this ‘intelligent character’ while neglecting to cultivate/  apply myself within the aspects that I thought were simply ‘not my thing’ without even trying them out,  such as being one and equal with my physical and being more physical in my every day living, due to having cultivated my mind for the most part of my life. Hence

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as being ‘good’ for dealing/ handling with knowledge and information and any Mind-work and be sucking at/ bad/ not good enough for any Physical-work, not realizing this was the result of my own self belief played out as ‘who I am’ according to this inherent acceptance of every human being only being good at some things and not good at others, and blindly accept this as such and define good and bad according to my own belief of who I am toward certain activities.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to not question this ‘intelligence’ that I apparently had, and within this not ponder about the information that I was integrating within myself, which was only a limited perception of what we as mind systems have been able to depict and define about humanity and reality, believing that it is in fact so, believing it to be real, without realizing that all that I cultivated was myself as a mind consciousness system looking at itself as such,  but never as an actual physical being that can be absolutely self aware in every moment of breath – wherein one would not require to Know about reality through knowledge and information, but be here in self awareness and understanding all the relationships we hold as part of the whole.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that I had in fact a form of ‘gift’ for having this ‘ease’ with studies/ knowledge and information and its integration, without realizing that it was all just based on an ability to copy information, store it and then, speak it out.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be aware of this copy-speaking information at a certain level and compare myself to people that I deemed as ‘real intelligent people’ who were actually simply only doing the same mechanism, but veered toward other fields that I considered ‘beyond myself’ such as mathematics, physics and engineering which I believed were ‘superior’ than my so-called intelligence, which proves that even if one deems intelligence as part of one’s ability, there will always in the mind be a point of comparison to make oneself more or less than, invariably so, as in the mind one is seemingly never ‘good enough.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘bad’ whenever anyone would say ‘I want to be like you’ wherein I would mostly ask a non-existent god ‘but WHY can’t they also have it easy?’ yet at the same time, believing that I had this ‘gift’ for some miraculous reason and not question it further, not challenge it but only later on spite it, only to end up spiting myself of course.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use intelligence later on as a way to make up for all the other apparent flaws I had, such as lacking an actual physical condition that would be the most healthy or good looking according to the social standards, or being comfortable in socializing – which I only acquired later through association – but for the most part, believe that I could Not have it all, and that I had been given this ‘intelligence’ and that something had to be ‘flawed’ within me in return, such as struggling with accepting myself as my physical appearance, or not having a great physical conditions for sports of high impact and so forth – all of which became part of the limitations I accepted and allowed through family beliefs wherein I learned that we were ‘good’ for being ‘intelligent’ but we would suck at sports or any other outdoor physical activity, within this accepting such limitation as ‘real’ and later on actually living it out as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define and direct my life within this limited scope accepted and allowed self definition within the belief that ‘I am only good at being intelligent’  – and within that only, create this inner conflict within me based on ending up believing that I was intelligent in fact, and that I was not good at other aspects or fields even within knowledge and information in itself, which became thus a reduced point for me to believe that I was probably only good at being intelligent from the perspective of being mostly obeying the system and that’s it, which within this created a personality of responsibility linked to ‘being intelligent’ which is where my fuck up exists,

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within the desire to spite this so-called intelligence’ I ended up challenging it because of how I had been fed up with being only associated throughout my life to being this ‘intelligent and responsible person’ that I saw as utterly useless, since within me, there was a lot of inner conflict for not having been able to define who I really was outside of that character/abilities and as such, believing it was ‘unfair’ that I could only be valued for this limited ability to store knowledge and information and speak it out, therefore seeking for other ways to be recognized, praised by others in the opposite pole as in the emotional/ feeling aspect, which I why I deliberately veered toward an ‘artistic career’ and ditched any other expectations teachers, parents or anyone else had told me about such as opting for careers/ professions dealing with numbers, science or further ‘mind cultivation careers’ without realizing that everything in this world-system is currently existent as the mind in itself, therefore there is no point such as something being more ‘humane’ as I defined emotions/ feelings to be than a structural-knowledge and information career, since all that I really am was obviously disregarded within this equation, which is neglecting the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place up a ‘high expectation’ on myself for being apparently this bright person and within this feed my specialness and uniqueness within and throughout my life, within this love/ hate relationship of wanting to be recognized as intelligent and at the same time, hate it because of only being reduced to that, which is just a conflictive-play out in my mind that is always existent whenever we define who we are as our mind and the mind thrives off of energy created through any form of friction and conflict that generates emotions and feelings. Within this creating a ‘depressed state’ because of realizing how I had this apparent flaw to establish personal relationships, because of only being perceived as this ‘intelligent responsible person that others feared’  and creating my own bubble of self-pity just as another entertainment and tunnel vision for myself while growing up.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to then seek to spite my own ‘intelligence’ by wanting to develop what I believed was ‘more human’ within me, which was all the emotional/feeling character that I deliberately started developing so that I could be identified more with a more ‘humane scope’ of who I am as these feelings and emotions as ‘sensitivity’ other than being only this rational or ‘intelligent’ person that can memorize stuff and get good grades in the schooling system. Within this, believing firmly that who I really was, were my emotions and feelings, which is how I cultivated this aspect a  lot in a deliberate manner, which is what I am walking as a process wherein I made decision in my life based on satisfying and fulfilling this ‘sensitivity character’  linked to an ‘artistic’ apparent trait.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that no matter which career or which ‘side’ I would cultivate ‘who I am’ in, it was all based on energy – either through the ‘logical/intellectual’ side and aspect as the ‘intelligent character’ or the other one as the ‘sensitive/humane’ character as all the emotional/feeling development that I built as ‘who I am’ – all were based on and as the mind in itself in both aspects that we tend to veer our lives around: being structural or expressive and creating an inner conflict about that, wherein I ended up ‘spiting’ the structural side, the logical/ intellectual/ knowledgeable side and opted to define me as the ‘expressive’ side, not realizing that in this decision, I never considered myself as the physical body in and as a Self-Equality, but only that which I would be able to ‘experience’ at a mind level, which proves how this system in its entirety has never in fact regarded physicality as who we are, since we are always veering toward one side or the other as self definitions in our mind, without even understanding how our very own physical body works, which should already have placed a massive question that I never asked in terms of why we are not self-aware of every single cell of our physical body and the rest of reality for that matter, proving to what extent such perceived intelligence was never ‘real’ as I accepted this entire world ‘as is,’ even if it created a point of inner conflict at times, I would simply let go of the conflict and focus on what I was able to grasp and integrate as ‘who I am’ as more knowledge and information.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still for some reason wanted to believe that I could hold on to this perceived ‘positive trait’ within me, which for that matter would be like wanting to hold on to my mind as this ego-personality that I’ve become to such an extent, that I have not been able to absolutely let go of it. I realize that we live in a system wherein the ability to store knowledge and information and speak about it is regarded as intelligence, and that it is thus my duty as part of my process to direct this ability to develop an actual common sensical understanding of life and living, wherein there is no knowledge and information per se  to memorize, but only understand the processes that lead us to be and become who we are, and within this, be able to transmit it, share it as part of the basic education that we will be living and actually Applying as part of our alignment to that which is Real as ourselves, as physical beings that are integrated with common sense as practical living skills that are applicable within understanding how reality works and as such, direct ourselves within that understanding toward a best for all outcome.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only believe that I was a system that can regurgitate knowledge and information and that probably that was ‘it’ for me, that was my task, in this – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to diminish the totality of who I am as a physical being, a part of this whole to a Very limited configuration of a mind system that exists as an energetic churning machine, that consumes physicality to be able to ‘run its course’ and believe that ‘that was all that I am’ and that I had to accept other ‘flaws’ within me because I had to apparently be grateful for being this ‘intelligent person.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the accumulation of memories of people saying that I was intelligent and ending up believing that I was in fact so, which is how we trap ourselves in lies and self definitions toward each other, instead of actually recognizing each other as the life that we really in fact are as equals, that physicality is not defined by a mind-configuration in itself but exists here as the innocence of what life should be, untainted by our energetic schemes that divide and separate ourselves from ourselves and from living in itself, limited to cultivating our minds only and forgetting even about breathing.

 

What type of intelligence is this that we’ve defined ourselves as where we can spend the days Thinking and not even being aware of being a breathing living human being?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had some form of advantage within this process due to this so-called intelligence, which is really nothing else but being able to remember things with probably a bit of more ease, within the realization that it does not make oneself ‘more’ than others, it is just like others being able to have a perfect physical condition to run for a long time and I believe myself to be incapable of doing that, without realizing that all such points entail a physical training and practice – either cultivating the mind or physical activity – nothing is simply ‘magically’ here as a certain ability.

 

The proof of this is that if a kid was born between animals and that kid had no ability to develop memory in the way that a child would do within the ‘family environment’ as in having parents and school speaking words, experiences, and as such learning how to memorize the words, sounds, alphabet, etc. they would simply be considered as ‘not intelligent’ within the system standards, but probably that child would have learned practical skills to survive on their own within a particular environment, which proves that what we currently define as ‘intelligence’ is according to this configuration of the world based on knowledge and information that supports this entire limited-version of reality that we live in, which is then placing on a pedestal all people as walking knowledge and information databases that will enable the continuation of the same system in place, which is then where we as people that are becoming self aware of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, must stop the continuation of this superior/ special regard to all such knowledge and information that supports the ‘old system,’ and instead focus on walking our own integration of common sensical living wherein we Live the redefinition of intelligence to intellisense: from knowledge and information to a common sensical living awareness of ourselves as physical beings in a physical world, where no more knowledge and information, including our emotions and feelings, define ourselves and limit us between either sides of the poles, but equalize everything that we have been and become through these energetic associations toward our reality, which includes all our self-definitions that simply do not regard life or consider equality as who we really are.

 

“Intelligence is a programme of consciousness/the mind  that consist of and exist as the/a entire body of knowledge and information definitions about ourselves/ ‘who we are’ and our relationships towards ourselves, others and this world as a whole that in fact separate us from ourselves, each other and this world/physical existence. Because we’ve created relationships towards ourselves, others and this world through definitions/programmes within our Mind, and not in fact lived and actual real physical equality and oneness with ourselves, each other and this world. Intelligence is the programme/manifestation that actually separate us from establishing real/eternal relationships of physical equality and oneness” – Sunette Spies

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the relationship of myself toward myself through my mind only and in this, accept the limited scope of defining me as only knowledge and information that I Thought I was ‘good at handling,’ without realizing that in this, any form of actual common sense development was not cultivated, because of learning only through copying and pasting and remaining within the standards and frames of what was good/ right, making me more like the example of what a ‘perfect system’ within this system would be like: being responsible, not questioning further and doing everything I was asked to do. Perfect slave with badges of honor.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be aware to a certain extent of what a lie this intelligence was, but accept it because it ‘at least’ made me feel ‘more’ than others within my mind and create a point of specialness, uniqueness and stand as an example of how to be the perfect system for others to copy, which I believed was my role and simply had to play along, not questioning the actual hierarchical separation and segregation I was cultivating within this all, which is unacceptable to say the least since I only regarded ‘How I experienced myself as an intelligent/ non intelligent  person,’ disregarding the effect of accepting such character within the schooling system and those that had to be deemed as ‘inferior’ for me to be the ‘superior one.’

 

I breathe, I stabilize myself physically and walk through the manifested consequences due to my own accepted and allowed playing of characters without considering physical reality consequences.

 

More to come in the next blog, continuing dissecting this knowledgeable entity that I have dragged as ‘who I am’ and directing myself to equalize myself in all ways to my own physicality.

 

sytem me

 

 

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About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world. View all posts by Marlen

3 responses to “236. Perfect Slave with Badges of Honor

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