277. Finding it Hard to Accept Rewards

 

Why would we require ‘Rewards’ when the solutions to this world are placed – we should conform with that as a living principle, why do we have to ‘fantasize’ with all the ‘good stuff’ to support what’s best for all?

 

I will be walking this point because it is quite an underlying and quite well masked self-experience whenever we speak about the Rewards point within our proposal to establish the Equal Money Capitalist system specifically. You can read more abut it in the Economist’s Journey To Life.

 

Let’s look at the ‘reasoning’ behind this in the form of Internal Conversations:

-We shouldn’t require to have a positive drive to do what’s best for all

– we don’t deserve this, we have abused far too much to now only expect rewards for establishing a fair economic-system

– Why is it hard for me to speak all the ‘good things’ as rewards?

– We shouldn’t expect to have something ‘in it’ for us to move, that’s just too greedy

– Why would I want rewards on top of solving the problems?

 

 

When reading all these rewards and solutions to our current problems in the world, it is simply realizing how things should have always worked, I see that they are not meant to be ‘positively driven’ as an energetic experience that can lead us to feel momentarily ‘Great’ about ourselves or ‘Happy’- instead this is all about finally creating the necessary equilibrium to live as who and what we are, as equals in this world. However, there’s this inherent ‘lock’ or ‘barrier’ wherein the sheer acceptance of ‘all the good stuff/ what’s best for all’ would be just too much of a ‘good thing’ linking this establishment of Equality to a positive experience, which is what I then resist to fully embody as myself due to reasoning how all the defined negative in this world is ‘more real’ than all this positive things that are only created through abuse. So, I can spot the problems in this world and solutions – but, when it comes to rewards, I freeze out.

 

I was listening to the interview Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 43 and point this was explained with a cool example that I could relate to in terms of identifying positivity with ‘happiness’ ‘good’ ‘love’ ‘joy’ and as such, it is as if I have placed a veto upon those words to promote them as a reward, because I have associated them with a great fallacy – however, that is within our current context wherein yes, only a few can experiment such grandeur due to having enough money to live very well and with all they need. However if everyone has such equal opportunity, then an actual happiness can emerge, an actual well being that is no longer a flickering momentary experience.

 

Self Forgiveness on the exploration around Rewards:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only feel comfortable when speaking about the problems, the bad, the negative in this world and believe that I have a ‘hard time’ speaking about the solutions and that which is best for all, simply because of within my mind linking this to a point of abuse and deception that I find it hard to live as myself because I have linked the positive/ happy/ joyful experiences to money and as such linking money to evil/abuse wherein I then go into a point of avoiding talking about the benefits simply because I have not dealt with my own polarity construct of negative/bad stuff in reality as ‘the real deal’ of our world and all the good/ happy/ beneficial aspects to the Positive-experiences in the world that I have judged within myself extensively due to myself benefitting from it while knowing that not everyone has equal access to the benefits I have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have ‘the least’ and experience myself as more of a real-benevolent person when rejecting or refusing money/ not looking for the benefits that money brings within this current world system due to a morality aspect that I have created with regards to it being Bad to enjoy yourself if you have money thus I realize that through judging I am creating more separation toward enjoyment as a reward in itself, thus I realize that we are presenting a solution of enjoyment that will be equally accessible for all in Equality and as such, there is no point in keeping judging this benefit, but instead establish ways in which it can be a certainty for all as a given right to benefit from everything that enables us to live in this world as equals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link what’s ‘more real’ to a defined negativity and ‘bottom of the pit’ that I would deliberately go into in order to experience what I defined as that which is actually real and create an opposition toward anything that seemed ‘too good’/ ‘too benevolent’ / ‘too happy’ and within this, form and create an aversion to it, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a ‘gloomy-character’ that can only look at everything that is fucked in this existence as the real-reality and as such,  wanting to stick to this side of ‘reality’ than belonging to the fluffy-artificial positivity that I was brought up in, because it seemed simply not Real, not congruent with the reality that I would see was non-existent for everyone that had no money to live, that had no support to have a ‘happy life’ either, without realizing that in this I am denying myself from actually realizing that such experience is possible for everyone if we are all equally working to create and establish a world system that works for all equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link everything that is negative of this world as ‘the real reality’ wherein yes, the real reality currently is the majority that has no money to live a happy life – though within wanting to stick to this ‘negative experience’ as ‘what’s real’ it has now become something ‘hard’ to let go of which is why when it comes to writing and speaking words that imply what’s best for all and Rewards specifically, I see them as too fake/ too ‘out there’ / too manipulative just because of having linked all the negative of our reality as what’s real, without realizing that such reality certainly has to cease to exist and actually allow ourselves to live words that can actually support us to live and enjoy life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘rewards’ with a positive charge and experience at a mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘what’s best for all’ with a ‘moreness’ point, without realizing that this is not about being more or positive, but re-establishing an order within this world that will enable life to be finally supported as it always should have been – and this does not imply now having to define me as ‘positive’ and perceive myself to be ‘out of character’ – thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being ‘out of character’ when looking at rewards and believing myself to be incapable of coming up with rewards because of believing that we don’t really deserve it, that I can only accept and implement the solutions, but no rewards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘rewards’ with a plastic card of frequent visitor in a posh –line of hotels and also a money-card wherein rewards were accumulated by my father’s account and how I would use these plastic cards of ‘rewards’ in order to buy more/ consume more, which I always thought was ‘for free’ (Read the previous entry to understand this point) and as such create a positive experience within consuming/ buying with such ‘rewards’ cards.

I realize that I have in fact linked rewards to buying/ consuming and within this, judging such benefits as ‘wrong’ due to how I have dedicated myself to judge this world and reality within a negative value and self-experience wherein the moment that solutions are presented I experience as if I ‘can’t’ simply take the ‘positive outcomes’ and write them out, because of not allowing myself to first clear the word rewards from the positive charge in itself.

 

What I realize is that this is still experienced because of currently having to exist within the transition point wherein we Know what’s best for all, we understand the problem, the root cause of this inequality – yet we are the ones that currently have the money and education to do something about it, which is an excuse to feel guilty for being existing within this fortunate position and looking it through the eyes of ‘me not being real because I have money and the protection that comes with it’ – instead of looking at it from the perspective of: I have money, I have access to education, I become the one that implements the solution – which is the position I have taken at a common sensical level, but I haven’t allowed myself to fully LIVE and Realize this as myself, as an actual possibility, because I haven’t yet forgiven myself for the guilt and shame that even having money and this fortunate position has become as an experience within me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the reasoning of ‘I am not being real within my decision to support a system that is best for all because I have money and always had money to live well and have a proper environment to live in, which makes me part of the Elite that exists at the expense and abuse of those that have none’ – wherein within this statement, I have accepted and allowed myself to still exist within a form of guilt and shame, which is actually an egotistical self-experience that I have held on to in order to continue this personality which is obviously an obstacle to fully stand as the solution as what’s best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘Rewards’ with being greedy and a positive person that is only looking after self-interest, which is how I have linked this word within the consumerist society that I was born into

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘Why should we require rewards in this world to move’? wherein I am judging the way that I realize more people can in fact listen to a world-change process that will enable life to be supported for everyone – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the means of promoting what’s best for all, instead of looking at the actual results that can come from in fact implementing that which we all know should have always been/ existed as, thus there is no ‘positive charge’ or ‘luring’ aspect to this, this is just using our current motivational-points and triggers to support that which has never been supported which is Life in Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘what’s best for all’ to a positive resonance and as such see it as a polarity point to the negative that I have wanted to define myself as due to linking such ‘negativity’ as ‘more real’ than all the good that we can envision currently as what’s best for all, without realizing that what’s best for all is not positive or the counter act for the negative, it is simply establishing equality as physical structure to support everyone as it always should have been.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger when reading some of the rewards and judge them as vain, wherein that implies that I am taking things personally with regards to what people actually want and expect in their lives as something ‘better’ for them to look a and consider what’s best for all because in my mind, people should not have to be ‘lured’ into what’s best for all, however I realize that the ‘good way’ has not worked at all in this reality to promote ‘what’s best for all’ and as such believe that ‘I have a hard time creating rewards’ simply because I have not allowed myself to consider actually embodying fully what’s best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel righteous when declaring that ‘I don’t require any rewards if the solution is in place,’ wherein I then see myself as more ‘self-honest’ or ‘common sensical’ than anyone that would actually begin to hear what we have to say due to reading the rewards proposed, due to how I have judged myself and everyone that is not willing to take action if there’s nothing ‘in it’ for them/ myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to embody a personality of feeling ‘okay’ when looking at the bad, the negative, the problems but go into inner conflict when it comes to looking at the rewards, the solutions that I have linked to a ‘positive experience’ without realizing that in this all it is to stop feeling bad about the reality of this world and as such stop linking the rewards and benefits for all as the ‘good’ that I have linked to abuse and deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have a problem to actually embody or feel comfortable with speaking the words that mean that which is best for all such as enjoyment, happiness, satisfaction due to linking it to a positive-energetic experience that can only be founded through abuse. I realize that this means that I am only looking at these words based on my experience and realizations, instead of looking at the words as an actual physical expression that we can in fact embody/ become within living in a proper structure/system of support for everyone equally, wherein it will no longer be linked to a positive experience founded through abuse, but it will be a living-right – this implies that I am only judging the words as knowledge and information and not really looking at the physicality aspect and sustainability of such beneficial experiences as an actuality, a consistent support and not linked to momentary flickering experiences that money can only buy at the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word Rewards as a fucked up consumerist bullshit and within this linking it with an experience of disgust toward it because I have made myself believe that I simply want ‘justice for all’ and see all forms of Rewards as something that I refuse to participate in because of the backchat ‘Why would we want rewards on top of establishing solutions that are already best for all’? Without realizing that this Reward point is but a way to promote what’s best for all as a ‘winning’ consideration within the current mind-frame of our society, wherein we know and have realized that people won’t move unless there is something ‘in it’ for them.

 

When and as I See myself having ‘difficulty’ with coming up with actual rewards to give to each other in a world system where everyone will have equal access and equal benefit to all – I stop and I breathe – I let go of seeing this as selfish and greedy and instead look at the starting point of rewards as that actual well-functioning of a society as how things should have always been when regarding all of us with equal right to benefit from what is here.

 

I realize that I have to walk equal to everyone and the majority that is certainly currently only moved by self-interest and within this, I realize that ‘their interests’ are currently only existent within the current mind-frame of consumerism as how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be moved/ motivated by – I also realize that such self-interest is in fact not ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ if such aspirations lead a person to live a fulfilled living condition, wherein it won’t be a ‘bad thing’ any longer if we make such ability to enjoy life/ fulfill this self interest an equal ability and capacity for all – thus

 

I realize that I have only judged the ‘good’ things in life according to what I have realized throughout this process of understanding how the world is in reverse and all the ‘good/ benevolent’ was in fact founded upon abuse. However, what we are walking currently is the process of being able to propose a practical way to create a solid foundation for these benefits to be equally available and given to everyone equally as a birth-right. This means that I have to stop judging the point of Rewards according to seeing them through the Current eye of consumerism and the abuse that this represents, but instead realize that rewards are possible as a consequential outflow that comes from establishing a world system wherein we will be educated to discern what actual value is as Life, and no longer the current means/ways we have sought our ‘benefit’ and ‘happiness’ from, which is standing within the current abusive ways and means that we are currently abusing life for our personal glory. If this ‘glory’ is equally available in a sustainable non-harmful and sustainable way in an Equality system, then I accept and allow myself to live ‘glory’ and all these positive aspects as a giving and receiving point that I allow myself to give to myself and others in Equality.

 

I commit myself to continue exploring the current discomfort experienced when speaking about Rewards and as such focus on the reality and viability of such outcomes to be established within the proposal of Equal Money Capitalism.

 

This will continue

 

No More Human Drama- Equal Money System

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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