Today August 11th, 2013 Bernard Poolman Died and it’s quite the most shocking news you can get on what one would expect to be the most regular Sunday morning on Earth, it wasn’t and I agree with Cerise’s statement My Dad, The Devil: the world is more poor without him.
I must begin with saying that I have never known what to say when people die, and have only attended one single funeral that wasn’t even from a family member but my mother’s best friend and every time I got to know someone was dead I just could not know what to say or if I should ‘feel’ anything – well today I got a more direct experience of that for the first time. I am 26 years old and have never lost anyone as close to me until today yet I wipe the tears and continue to stand because I’ve gotten more than enough support from him to now be where I am standing today: writing the new contract I’ve acquired with life, walking the process to stand equal and one to the words lived by him as the walking living flesh he was, a man that has been hated by people that are willing to abuse and deny the responsibility we have in this world and deny what is required to be done on Earth, but at the same time revered by all of us that are grateful for every single moment he would share what would be Here to be shared, in the moment – no preparation, no scripts, no nothing – and to me it was more than an honor to be able to directly collaborate in being the hands that type out what he would so fluently speak out and yes, that will be no more – but the words are still here and now to be lived by each one of us since it is what we are here to be and become: stand equal to the living principle he embodied, that’s what he really was and continues to Be.
- 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report
- 370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife
- 371. Desteni Insider: Fear, Fear, Fear
- 372. Desteni Insider: Mind Control and Brainwashing
When approaching the Desteni Forum for the first time, we got to see posts by ‘Eagle,’ an individual that would post all videos and continually respond to every single post that was made in such a riddled yet clear cut way that only through reading such words it was like opening my brain to a whole new window that I knew it was there, but somehow it was marvelously placed in such directive simple ways that I immediately knew I’d like to someday be able to directly see the points, which was also learned through all of the replies posted on the DesteniProductions Channels (2007-2011). Later on Eagle became Common Sense and as I begun to participate in the Private Forum in march 2008, I can say that I’ve been tremendously assisted by all the chats conducted by Bernard from that time wherein I’ve learned of the miles of words shared by him, Sunette/Dimensions and everyone else that have contributed with as an essential part of walking the Desteni Process: the support we got at the forum until our very last chat with Bernard this week is something that remains as one of the best dynamites a human being can ever detonate within an indoctrinated mind shaped in the image and likeness of a system of self-abuse, only to make space for genuine living foundations based on living principles
My initial admiration for Bernard as the words/principles he spoke of later on became a realization of how what he embodied as the Principled Living on Earth, wasn’t about something ‘superior’ or ‘special’ but actually simply living by the principles he spoke of, the actions he lived and the relationships he formed that are the genuine examples that we have as a testimony of a new way of living for humanity if we so want to continue living in this world. He said it best: “Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” and this became a key quote for me to continually remind myself that the sugar and spice type of life we had all been taught to seek and follow was always a Lie. I resonated with this very clearly which is why I resonated a lot to the words he spoke of, he was wording out what I had seen but merely allowed to ‘pass by’ and now being aware of this had a definitive cause and direction: to expose the lies, to learn how to Self Forgive and walk an individual process of Integrity, Self Respect, Honor and most importantly getting rid of all the bullshit that usually keeps us busy in the mind – I certainly learned to appreciate myself and stand as the reality of who I really am and conduct my potential. I didn’t have many conversations with him while at the farm other than very specific points to be discussed and somehow I see that I didn’t entirely open myself up back then as I was still tip-toeing around it all, not wanting my stuff to be exposed yet understanding that he could see it all.
“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” – Bernard Poolman
Such a simple statement yet absolutely supportive since we tend to create this idea that process is something great, marvelous, that will turn us into these good doers or even worse righteous gods instantly when it has nothing to o with that, it is genuinely being willing to actually get to know our demon-self, the truth of ourselves, the reality, the nitty-gritty details that we have all always concealed to learn how to ‘make-up’ with flowery words of love and light, and being ‘good’ and eliciting nice experiences upon other individuals without even realizing to what extent – by keeping these masks – we have continued to keep the current hypocrisy and false-value systems that in no way represent a living principle that life should be. Bernard was the living words of every aspect that required to be said in a world where Life is being sold and Equality is a demonized non-living word. He stood as the living principle of the resolution, the integrity, determination, clarity and discipline required to walk this process that we’ve embarked ourselves in within this Process, this Journey to Life that involves the dismantling of this world at all levels, even beyond what our minds can conceive in order to establish a new living contract on Earth, a contract that stipulates through our written word the principles, the responsibility and practical steps to actually change the nature of who we have become as individuals in the mind – every single statement written and later on spoken in interviews by Bernard revealed to us a blueprint of the mess we are in as this world system and our individual reality, due to everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. He was always writing the raw truth about reality and opening up the necessary self-confrontation necessary to realize one single thing: we are all collectively responsible for everything we are, everything we’ve become in this world and this was done without ever inciting violence, vengeance or retaliation against ‘others,’ without going ‘against the system,’ without having to incite to revolt or do anything ‘extremist’ as some haters would love to claim he did, just to discredit a message that actually challenged their current self-interested ways of ‘living’ while neglecting abuse. Instead Bernard did the absolute opposite, he pointed out something we had been missing all along: in this world we have no enemies other than ourselves, individually, we’ve been screwed by our written words that never have considered life in equality – and this clicked within me as the realization of how blindfolded I had been to always take a stance of antagonism to portray myself as the ‘good person’ without even investigating if such ‘benevolence’ was in fact real – which it obviously wasn’t but only a self-interested mechanism to keep me on ‘good spirits’ while pointing out the flaws in the world. We were pushed to question ourselves if it was in fact the integrity I believed myself to have such as in ‘having nothing to do with the ‘evil’ in the world, without even seeing, realizing an understanding that the very thoughts, pictures, imaginations, intentions, secret desires and future projections stood as the very building blocks of our collective illusion – my empire of dirt was debunked and so I realized how worth-less was it to continue ‘holding on’ to something that had never been in fact an example of what living is all about.
So, Marlena was the girl that got to the farm in an intense desire to be just noticed right away, and he noticed it right away ‘You are still trying to get recognition’ and realized the point an committed myself to walk and learn what humbleness is about. I was insecure, hooked on harmful relationships, fearing, not wanting to ‘get out and be seen,’ hiding my face behind hair– literally – not wanting to make much noise in the internet, not wanting people to know about myself and my process, being regulated by a sense of ‘self preservation’ of ‘what I like, who I am’ and being fearing any form of conflict wherein I may lose the approval of people or any other ‘meaningful’ relationship I believed to have in this world – well all of these aspects have been slowly but surely debunked throughout time by living and applying the example that Bernard stood as along with every other person that begun applying the same tools within this process.
I got to know I was just asking for another confirmation of a ‘changed character’ a ‘bettered version of myself’ when that wasn’t in fact what this process is about, and within an attempt to keep things in a ‘nice way’ I realized I was only creating yet another mask to conceal myself within the Idea of ‘Change’ without genuinely understanding I was ‘playing it safe’ – until later.
‹Bernard› remember that all is self
thus–self awareness, self standing
make all the words with self you direct your self to be and live it and in the mind–you make up reasons why not to do what you will–but fear others like family
dare to live for real
and fix reality to be worthy of you and all other beings here (2008)
Where is Bernard in that group pic? Lol! I was laughing so hard because he was the one taking the pic an making us all laugh (July 2009, Desteni Farm – South Africa)
I am grateful that I was able to visit the farm in 2009 and stay for a year and meet The Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman. When I got at the farm he wasn’t home yet and when he arrived the first words were “You’re already Making Noise!” lol because I was just too happy to be finally there and speaking too much with everyone I had already developed relationships with at the forum and being overtly excited about it all, so I greeted with a big hug and from there on, I was in for the experience of my life, I could have never known how much one can learn from another individual and all the people at the farm walking this process as the support it means in order to understand what Living by Principle in fact means in physical reality.
I probably would have liked to be able to be more open toward him while I was there, I was still wanting to stand somehow ‘in the background’ and not stepping up so much forth as I considered others to be more capable than me and I was still holding onto quite a hierarchized way of thinking that is certainly non existent within me at the moment, since I learned how to plant the seed of self-stability, self-authority, self-will, self-respect, practicing the realization of the importance of the written word in a world consumed by contracts of evil as the reverse of life. I certainly got such resolve within myself while being there and remained cultivating it ever since.
At the farm I went through heaven and hell, but the hell must be understood as the necessary as-it-should-be realization that throughout my life I had disregarded essential principles in relation to the ‘who I am’ as ‘my time,’ ‘my preferences,’ ‘wanting to do only what I like/want/feel like doing’ and the consequences that I got to face was the realization of how little was I in fact considering other beings – specially animals in my case – in my reality, but only focusing on this ‘self-enhancement’ without a clear resolve and understanding of what Equality truly means in all practical levels, which lead me to realize coexistence and the equality with all life forms that I had disregarded so far as a part of everything that is here as myself.
What I’ve learned from Bernard is a lot more than what I will express in these lines since every single interaction with him – directly and indirectly – lead me to strengthen, clarify and expand my understanding of this world, life, the visible and invisible yet verifiable in all ways in terms of observing the nature of this reality as our image and likeness, as the fuckup we all signed ourselves to with ink on the flesh as the self that we sold in the name of experience, of energy. Along with this I was able to develop the ability to recognize the actual abilities, skills and talents that I had doubted I could ever develop. I am grateful for the challenges I was able to take on while being at the farm. Lol, there’s this funny moment where one morning Bernard asked ‘Who wants to take a painting project!?’ and Marlen raises hand right away “Meeee!!” and yes oh boy was it not the kind of ‘painting’ I was expecting but an actual challenge of thick brush and rolling painting an entire building lol, which I managed to do with the help here and there of the other guys, man was I proud of myself and according to that immediate ability to respond and stick to my word of ‘getting it done’ in such an apparent simple task, I was able to realize to what extent I had limited myself by my own thoughts of distrust, of doubt and hesitation to speak – slowly but surely I saw that I had only feared being wrong, saying the ‘bad things,’ wanting to be directed/getting orders instead of actually realizing I could develop the common sense and techniques as I go, and this didn’t only apply to the work done at the farm which was already in itself a challenge but also in relation to the ability to commit oneself to do something and Actually Doing-it. Such is the nature of the things I learned at the farm, learned Self Will and a determination I had absolutely no Idea I was able to bring forth and establish as myself, as my expression.
There’s No doubt that all the points I learned from Bernard and others’ interactions with him enabled me to realize that the actual power we have exists in and as every single breath, and how we had to let go of fears to stand in order to be visible, to not be fearful or ashamed in any way of what I am doing and this is something continued to be walked every single day as the fear is no longer there, but the resolve is a constant renewal of existential vows, the reason why we’re doing this is because we have kept ourselves waiting for far too long for someone to ‘show us the way,’ and it is only now within this process and having Bernard’s example that a new living nature of humanity became a living possibility for all of us aware of and walking the Desteni process, which is nothing else than applying the tools that Bernard himself used to become what he became: the living word in flesh.
I’ve described several key moments through my journey in this entire MarlenLife blog of things I learned from him, including the R.I.P God blog wherein I realized the irrelevance of my questions about existence and reality that were based on the same constructs and ideas in separation of myself, detached from any real physical value on Earth.
I was at the Farm when we embarked ourselves in the course that is being now provided as an educational platform of self support for several people that have committed themselves to it: the Desteni I Process – back then the Structural Resonance Alignment (SRA)– and I was one of the first individuals to go through it and have the opportunity to buddy people, learning how to begin trusting my understanding and common sense and placing it into application. I remember also all the times we would have the infamous ‘Interviews from the Farm’ which were usually chats at the lounge are or the veranda with the entire group that was living there where we got some of the greatest lessons one could have ever gotten about the world system, heaven, Earth, the Afterlife, Process, The cure for our Curiosity – it was like story time with real shocking and real supportive facts that are equally available till this day at the article section http://desteni.org/articles/interviews-from-the-farm
I will probably always say how 2009-2010 was the greatest year of my life, and a small part of this is depicted in the following video Here as Life
The most supportive thing was when I was able to be called out for the patterns I was existing as and I am being forever thankful for the support Bernard gave me to see that which I had absolutely neglected and refused to see, up to the point where I walked ‘the death of me’ and assisted myself to more and more grasp what must be done in this process and stand as a point of support for myself and everyone else. The thing is I wasn’t exactly told what to do which was also another point of great support – I took a decision to come back, finish school and continue with my process which has been walked with all the same support we got and continued standing and taking on the point I had resisted the most: the Equal Money System proposal and realized that it was a decision I had made to stand up for something that truly means equalizing the value of Life in this world – along with Bernard’s support we continued to walk all the matrixes of self deception to get back to the point where we have realized no solution on Earth will be possible unless we first focus on the Education of the Human Mind, and this is something I continuously confirmed through and with Bernard every single time which also strengthen the resolution to focus on what we are currently doing: supporting ourselves as we are supporting many others to get past the veils of the mind and be what I have committed myself to be: a Life-Birthing assistant as this is what I received not only from Bernard but Everyone else at Desteni, as the Desteni Group world wide, so we’ll continue to spam the world with common sense and self honesty.
I had few moments of being with him alone, and our conversations were always very directive lol which is cool in a way because that’s how I got to see that I didn’t have to ‘beat around the bush’ and go straight to the facts, get past the emotional bs and focus on the practical directions. I must say that I had kept still a veil toward him until the past months where he became more than just a living example but also a buddy, a colleague, someone I could share and laugh with at the nonsense of the world and always bringing it back to a solution – all was clear and a constant confirmation of the common sense learned and developed through living and applying the example that he has provided us all with. I will miss that interaction, but again as the clarity that is here as I write these words, I realize that he exists As the Words we will continue to write, live and stand one and equal to, where “Bernard”ceases to exist as a name and memory only and becomes part of who we are as the words we live, standing as an example and living expression that we decided to take on from him and expand through, walking through the systems until we all realize our actual potential and live it out, because that’s what he was able to see within every single individual that had the decision to walk this process of self support. Yes never in my life had I lived with such unconditional beings at the farm and him being the example of what it is to support another the way we would like to be supported ourselves, not expecting anything in return other than the ability to stand on our own two feet, standing side by side as who he is.
I had great laughs with him as well, I particularly enjoyed all the moments of laughter because he had this great sense of humor, lol everyone should have been able to listen to his characterization of the American accent or when he would approach beings at the gas station, the supermarket and ask them about god and money and what would they prefer to keep if they had the option – lol! But I also got to witness first hand the actual physical process he was going through, I witnessed the amount of pain he would endure on a daily basis due to the systems taken on by him as part of his process. I would become worried about it, I wanted to be a solution to ease his pain and he only said: keep breathing and that is already a cool thing for me – and so I will continue until the last one I give myself. He explained to me how that was his point in process and how I would do the same in his shoes – I said Yes, and continue to confirm I stand within the resolution and self will I learned from him, a genuine example of what it is to stand by principle, doing all that he could, no matter what and never make a big fuzz about it, but learn how to breathe through it, within the understanding of what must be done here in this world.
I learned how to stand up to my own self-abuse, to slowly but surely get past the trivial aspects that I had held myself a victim toward or apathetic about and be able to integrate living principles that are absolutely non existent in a reality where we abuse life in the name of power as money, in a world where a single value system has become our image and likeness of desires, wants, needs and imaginations that only benefit ourselves, disregarding the consideration of how the abuse on Earth is not built only through/due to money, but the relationships, the contracts, the profiles, the pictures we’ve created within our reality.
I learned what Equality means in physical practical terms, what the equation of 1+1=2 meant and I can now laugh a a bit at myself when we were discussing the Equal Money System back in 2009 and I remember asking him: but what will be the value of money then? And he simply said: Life. Eureka! a whole new world was able to be realized just because it revealed to me what kind of religion our political, economic an political systems had become. I also learned how to give myself direction and take on greater responsibilities within the group, which is something I had held myself back from doing just because of those initial fears and seeing the points as separate from me – yet when realizing the principles required for it, one can certainly develop this resolve as we go integrating the living principles necessary to establish self-trust and be able to genuinely begin living without the constant desire to ‘return to my safe cave’ and ‘forget about this ever happening’ – such point cannot exist when one realizes the extent of the problem we’re facing in this world and existence and the responsibility we hold toward every single word, every single screwed up relationship we’ve established as the reverse of Life and how we must stand up to genuinely correct the damage we’ve done to ourselves and every other living particle we’ve taken for granted as part of ourselves.
My resolve to this process is to establish the living principles he stood as the way I have been walking for the past 5 years, of course I require to strengthen my ability to see beyond the ‘downfalls’ when we see there is no way out, because we both agreed that there is always a way out and that is how one can always see solutions where I once only saw gloom and doom, death and destruction.
After these years of having walked the placement and development of economic, political and social systems applying the principles he shared with us, I realize the importance of first beginning to establish a living common sensical understanding and application of all of these principles and actually living them, embodying them as the way we relate to ourselves, to one another, and stand as that pillar of support to others to o the same because I can see that we require each other to make this work and this is how more than this being about Bernard is about the living principles of self integrity, honor, self respect that we will continue to live and apply toward one another, being grateful for the existence of human beings around the world that as myself are able to Hear his words and commit ourselves to be the examples that this world has yet to realize we are all able to be and become, when we start honoring life and ensuring that we live the words and walk the way forward.
Thank you Bernard! I will be forever grateful but more than that, we got to now stand as the principles you left and not be a only a follower – we’re ready and capable of this. Let’s do it!
Also check out:
Mantis on Bernard’s hand (2009)
Support for Destonians:
- Here are the links to begin warming up and get familiar with Desteni, an all encompassing reality investigation of reality, the mind, the afterlife, the world system in its economic and social structure, religions, spirituality, psychology, language, human interactions, and just about anything that you may have ever pondered about yourself and reality can be disclosed and found here:
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And don’t forget to watch Bernard’s favorite besides Coffee: The Century of the Self
Ready to Become a Destonian and start Walking your Journey to Life?
1) Make the Decision to Take Responsibility for yourself and stand up for Life in Equality – start Writing Yourself to Freedom, open up a blog and make a commitment to Walk the 7 year Journey to Life and share others’ blogs as well
2) Join the Desteni Lite Free Course to walk step by step the tools of Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty and becoming the Living Solution for this World.
3) Join the Desteni Forum: participate in discussions, ask questions and post your own blogs in the 7 Year Journey to Life thread, Let yourself be Known for your Commitment to Stand up for Life
7 Year Journey to Life Walkers: http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=75&sid=361564addd09c47738ca69f5f9da4e82
4) Support the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal – Visit basicincome.me for regular updates and participate in the discussions on the site
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Give to the same Support to others as have been Given to You – Spread the Living Word wherever you can
7) Commit yourself to this Process Realizing that You are not only Walking for Yourself but to bring about a World that we all want to Live in. Share your process in videos YouTube for greater Impact and Support