455. Traditional Experiences During the Season

(Or Quick considerations for me to let go of ‘The Grinch’ Character this holiday season)

With the advent of Christmas and all stores around and the streets being filled with xmas decorations, I decided to make of this the time of the year that I don’t ‘dislike the most’ for all the reasons I have shared throughout the years and instead make it a challenge to prove to myself that I can in fact stop my backchat about ‘Christmas’ and all that it entails.

It’s day 3 of this month and so far I’ve been stopping my judgment toward people that go and buy their natural tree as Christmas tree as I see them on the top of the cars, same when passing by a whole area dedicated to Christmas decorations… I realize that me getting pissed about it – as it was usual – won’t change others’ minds about consumerism or whatever and it won’t assist me in any way either and only keeps me in the ‘Grinch’ personality system that has to constantly pull out some discontent at all things Christmas…. In a way, it’s time to mature for me, lol.

I also understand that my discontent is not really bringing through a message to anyone really, I only appear as a very bitter or moody person. Instead, what I can do is in conversations or if asked, I can give my perspective of why I believe that spending money on live trees that will end up in the garbage in January is a waste of life and money – and how they can buy plastic ones instead or make their own from dry twigs – my mother has been doing that, looks great and minimalistic lol – but in my family we’ve never bought natural ones anyways so, one can only preach by example.

 

Whenever I hear Christmas songs in the stores, I don’t create a disgust toward it or ‘annoyance’ because I realize this is a clear personality decision I’ve managed to pull out every single time, as the ‘Grinch me’.

Instead I just breathe and not give it any special attention, I mean it’s just a song, whatever input and value I place on it, it’s my own.

The same applies to people buying stuff in Christmas, packed stores, more traffic… I commit myself to continue even more so in this season – which used to be the season where I’d get ‘more fed up’ around the streets – breathe, slow down, don’t judge, see it for ‘what it is’ as in a tradition that everyone is locked into or participating into willingly and I don’t have to do the same, therefore, I just let it be – I won’t change or create awareness by me becoming pissed about it or try and pull out faces at people buying stuff = message is not shared by believing I am righteous enough to tell other people they are ‘wrong’ and ‘deluded’ about their habits, the principles are lived by actually demonstrating what being one and equal to everything is which is: not reacting at all, not allowing myself to be affected at all by it.

Family reunions… I won’t avoid them, as a matter of fact will go to one in some hours, I realize that they are great spaces where I can also prove I am not avoiding people, avoiding celebrations as such and also to allow myself to continue developing openness and relationship to others in whichever way possible, because my Grinch personality is about to get starved from here on.

I won’t cringe at seeing holiday decorations around, even if I decide to not use them myself, I realize I have been bothered by all the meanings and associations I’ve given them, the colors, the sounds, the symbols – but ultimately, it’s just matter, it’s part of what is here, so what am I doing wasting my breaths playing the one that reacts all the time like a clockwork about it? No more.

I rather give this end of the year point another meaning, one where I can look back at aaaalll the points that I have opened up, gave closure to, started creating, got committed to, points I’ve just begun to open up for the first time to change, and just keep at it day by day, not making any specific date ‘more’ than it is, other than the usual dinners or time with family as I spend it any other time of the year… which means: I decide what I make of this season this year and I decide to no longer be the Grinch and prove to myself that I can let go of these personalities I have defined as ‘me’.

I realize how ‘foolish’ in a way this programming is, but I won’t go into judging it either, I see it for what it is. Time to rather spend my breath in developing stability and self-honesty, rather than rehashing my own ‘traditional experiences during the season’- see the paradox? I use to complain about the repetition of characters and ‘Christmas as a tradition’ yet I had created my own tradition to stand as the opposite point of all things ‘Christmas’ so… bam, there you go, we are as equally supportive of Christmas when standing as an ‘opposition’ to it – apparently. So best thing is not create any experience at all about it, and rather develop the expressions that can emerge in this or any other season for that matter, for I am not bound by dates or seasons or traditions: I decide who I am, what I live and what I express.

Here’s to another challenge to deprogram my own personalities that are not supportive, but plain annoying in themselves.

Thanks for reading

 

 

Suggested recordings for the day:

• Tolerating Your Mind – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 90

 

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